Episode 2 - Part 2: An Unwelcome Return

P.K.

Hi, I'm Michelle Madison. And I of course am your John Jacobson and we are the video game outsiders. Yeah, we've been doing this podcast for over twenty years. And we talk about everything in gaming from PC to console, but we also go off topic a lot. We do. And we're silly. We don't take ourselves seriously. We are. And there's a lot of news. Sometimes gaming news, sometimes news about

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Expectations. Onwards to Turtle Island, she says, and she like leads you up again the coast. You go back through the foot of the small forest, around the corner, and west. out to the peak of of the small island you're on. There's a small gap of maybe twenty to thirty feet, and beyond that another small island of perhaps only fifty feet wide, fifty feet long.

um is is is jutting out of the water. It was perhaps once connected to this island, but it's fallen away over the years due to erosion and currents. And on it you see six or seven very large turtles. I mean these things are as big as Kapipi, but they're completely different in in anatomical design. They're a traditional turtle. They're on their chest. They're sea turtles you can see because they have flats.

uh arms. Um but they're on land at the moment. They're all sat amongst sort of a sandy imagine like a golf bunker. They're in a they're in that. There's a bit of grass around them, but it's mainly sand in the middle of this island. They're all happily sat around sort of that is so Yeah. Some of them are digging holes. I can only imagine how you feel right now knowing that there's a turtle.

That's very similar to you but completely different. Do any of them do anything for you? It's not even no, no. Not one of them. Any of them sexy? Nothing. Would you even try to? Sorry? Come on. Choose one. They probably have all the same anatomy, right? Yeah. Would you want to rock you find any of them attractive? Oh.

I do. Plus I gotta be careful. Why? I wanna live longer than a year. Oh right, yeah, you've already meant yeah. Of course you've said this before. That's quite the punishment. You've got to find the one and it's not a turtle. I just feel like while we're on the island, yeah. I'm alright, but you go wild if you fancy. No, I can hold my no I can't. I'm not gonna die any year's time.

Well anyway so ignoring the fact that you are basically talking about raw dogging her turtle stock so these were something that we were developing as a potential meat and water source. They're famously Um good for both. They have a water bladder inside them that stores water that can be accessed by a sailor looking to cook the meat, which I'm told is very delicious. I'm a vegetarian personally.

Um we uh tried to use magic to enhance the their their size and their growth of their meat. However, we had some unexpected circumstances. Um once a year These turtles lay an egg, and that egg has seemingly random elemental properties. Sometimes the egg is made of stone, sometimes the egg is just an egg, sometimes the egg is made of gold. Oh get your gold from. These turtles poop out little eggs.

All of their own. They're asexual. They don't require fertilization. They just do it. They pop the egg out. We get to see what it is. The eggs are that of ostrich size as well. Oh.

When's the next egging? Well, they happen all throughout the year. I've named each of these after a month of the year. Okay. Oh wow. You've only got seven. Seven, yeah. Five died. Limited. Five died Bursting an egg? Yes. Unfortunately some of them got fire eggs.

Fire eggs is an option. Wow. Fire eggs is very much an option. Acid egg, worst one. Worst cleanup. Acid you don't want to mess with acid, do you? Lightning egg was another one. Again, night. All the elements. Just inst a thunder crack and Did you keep the egg or is that gone as well? No, the egg was was a flash of energy. That's kind of a cool seem to be fine so far. And you look at them and each of them are like

But you can see the tension on their face and they're worried that one day they'll be the turn to have the ass egg or the fire egg. You're always gonna make them Uh well have you got any spare eggs?

Oh, I've got some spare eggs in the study, yes, you can have a look if you like. Um Sounds fascinating. Actually a few of these were stolen by the raiders that I had to see off. Um but I couldn't catch up to them. They're long gone. But they didn't get anything particularly valuable. One of them had a silver egg. Um Another one had I think it was a a basalt egg. They thought it was something more important but

A bit of stone. Jokes on the jokes on the turtle. The turtle had to incubate that thing for a year. And it just came out of stone. Boring. I'd be so disappointed. I would be too. It's probably better than the lightning though. Yeah. I mean they're still alive, right? The fire egg. Yeah, fire egg. Awful. Uh well anyway, that uh that concludes the tour of this part of my magical menagerie. Ah. Uh I have some customers coming tomorrow morning. It's about

Seven o'clock now. The the sun's starting to go down. Um The types of folk you deal with when you're trading. Like how many people know of this get up little get up you got here? It's word of mouth. Um Mikkel, a good friend of mine, as uh he gives recommendations to people he trusts. They they spread

Um to the people they trust. Uh I I rarely have problems. Often adventuring or exploring parties, such as these uh these raiders that came recently, stumble across my island. But On the whole, I am one island among many, many islands in the South Thousand Teeth, so

Yeah, my recommendation system seems to work okay. Is there any way we can help each other? You know? We got the way gate access, we got a ship, hmm, can make it worth each other's while, you know. Are you heading back to the Gold Tooth Isle anytime? Well that's where the ship's headed. Um perhaps you can take some cargo for me, collect something for me, who knows?

We've got a bit of time, like Mikkel's pretty flexible with our return date, so to speak, and he's allowing us to traverse the local area in getting profits and whatnot as we go. So I'm sure Mickle would appreciate a gift or two, you know?

I've actually got a delivery of um alchemical solutions for growing and enhancing the plants and food production of the gold tooth aisle or indeed any any island that needs it, but these have been specifically ordered. Uh I was going to use a way gate but If you're going that way anyway or at some point I can I can give you the stock, send you back to your ship and you can take that for me. Uh the payment's already been made. I always take payment up front, but I never miss a delivery.

And so uh I can trust you guys, right, to to deliver for me? Well yeah I think so. What's our going rate? Very trustworthy. What's your going rate? Yeah. Why are you asking me that? You tell us. You know, do you mean What am I going to pay you to do? What would you be willing to pay, yeah, for us to do such a personalised delivery for you? Yeah, should we personalised

And you guarantee safe passage, you'll look after it, keep it well. Absolutely. It's not gonna go on any like cargo ship like you normally would. It'll just Yeah, all the good stuff. Perhaps I can come on, Pennywinkle. We'll get signed for delivery and everything. Penny Periwinkle, of course. Peters? Um penny, please. I'll give you fifteen hundred gold if you take the potions.

What did you hear just then? Because I heard fifteen hundred gold. Yeah, I like blacked out a little bit there. Sounds like a pity amount. Oh he's royalty. Push him for two K. This is a lot where we are right now. Oh I know, but push him for two. That person can make their own goal. If you think you can, do it. We'll do it for 2K. All in. Persuasion roll. A twelve and uh three. Seventeen fifty and you've got a deal. We'll take it. What were the other two deliveries that you wanted to do?

Oh nothing much. uh magical grain and purified water. Uh many. I'm we're talking fifteen to twenty barrels of purified water. Close to three tons of grain. Uh uh normal kind of stuff, they're not the potions and maybe a few you know nothing. Living living cargo.

Is there anything in the cargo that could eat us? What was that? Sorry. Did you not hear that bit? Wait, what was that last bit? She muttered living cargo. Well, that's why I then asked is there anything that could eat us? Let's get back to the tower, shall we? Yes. Okay. You walk back to the tower. She invites you into uh this time a slightly different tower to the left of it. Uh The main building, the large square building, is largely used for storage.

rafter upon rafter of stored grain, um the odd bit of uh root vegetables, things like that, and then barrels and barrels of this purified water is not only stacked outside in in it near the water Procurement area, but also in the in the tower. To the right of that, you have another tower, which, unlike the one that had the lab, the gate, and the uh sort of storage area, this one's

m clearly more her entertaining room. So the first floor again is a uh much more warmly you come through the front door of the second tower, it's much more warmly adorned. There's carpet beneath it, there's some brasias lit and and burning, um You know, photos and things like that on the wall, but they're not photos, they're kind of etchings into wood, but very well etched. You know, they clearly use magic to get real fine details.

of of Periwinkle with her arms round like you know y you notice Mickle Salgo's in one of them with her arms round like eh and like a few other people that have docked throughout the years, some much more somber, you know, some giant shark people in the background. She's like And that sort of thing. Um, you really get around. Yes, yes. Well many people come to visit me. I've m met many, many people. You might may one day adorn this wall if you true prove to be good trading partners. Uh

You also come up on this wall as well. You proceed into the hallway and up there's a scent there's a staircase right in the middle of this ground floor of this tower that goes up. into the center of the next floor. As you come up into the middle, upstairs there's uh tables, sofas, um, there's a bar at one side of the tower.

Um it's almost like a mini inn and uh the next floor up is segmented into uh sort of three rooms. So one room you've got her room, which is like a master bedroom, and then the two other sort of thirds of the of the tower are guests for guests. People that one of them has bunks in, one of them has a few sort of beds. I thought there'd be a weak point in this whole operation. You know, you were very like focused on the

Transmutation sort of thing, very much into your projects. Do you forget about the customer side facing things? I'm blown away, frankly.

You're in the people business. I'm in the people business. Hey Winkle, you never explained uh once the semen's son. What did you call me? Oh sorry, Winkle. I'll let it pass. T the the semen uh they they degrade. The the coral itself absorbs all the nutrients. The calcium in the bones helps to build new corals.

I was just curious. It's just curious as we were going up I saw it again and I was like, ooh. It's just like food. What happens to the coral? They dissolve essentially inside the tubes over time. Amazing. It can be growing. Quite the artist. The coral? Yeah. Oh yes, it grows very well. It's interesting actually. I've broken off piece of it to examine and um experiment with and has some interesting magical properties.

Oh my things have many m interesting magical properties if you look close enough. No no it's a naturally occurring it's a naturally occurring No no that's a that's a normal rabbit. That's a normal rabbit. That's not a normal rabbit to me.

That looks like a normal. Where I'm from, that's what rabbits look like. Where's the tail? What about the feathered rat? That's a bit weird. I haven't worked out why that thing's got feathered. So you haven't been making these things? No, no, no, I've just been trying to understand them. How much for the rabbit?

And w you want to buy the rabbit? I had little uh we wouldn't mind Terence. The rabbit's not for sale. You called it Terence Winkle. So you're saying Terence Winkle or you're saying Terence Winkle? Terence Comma Winkle. Right. Yes, I called it Terrence. Nice. Oh you call it Terence. Huh? You call it Terence too. I thought that was our name. You call it Terence? This is where you got the name from the best Terrence.

It was um Oh right. Anyway, the rabbit's away at this point. Now the rabbit we can talk about the rabbit later. Okay? Sit down. I'll get you a drink. Give you a silver piece for the rabbit. Not enough. Far from enough. Right. Not for Terrence. Terence soothes me, calms me. His horns.

They make me laugh and titter as he jumps around the room like a little stag. Oh don't I you make me miss him. He's got a tail like a horse, which for such a low down creature makes absolutely no sense. It trails around him like a wedding bride. Are any of these creatures for sale? No. None of them. Not even the weird like goblin monkeys. The hobgoblin monkeys are largo I wish you to take.

Oh no. I needed to take them to my master and my teacher in the Gold Tooth Isle. He's expecting them for retrieval of our apprentice. We're going to try and extract what's left of him from the monkeys. Oh they're the wrong. Sorry, I call them mankeys. Mankeys of the colour. Yeah. Sorry? What what if they can't extract all of him? He'll do his best.

Honestly this is a very good thing. He was an unkey. Then why do you want him back? The master does. Sorry? Why do you want him back? The master sent him. He did it as a favour to one of his rich friends. He said Oh yes I'll send your son for tutoring with one of my greatest students, me. And uh he appeared through the teleportation circle one day with a note from my master. Uh however, Rydyn ni'n credu bod yn rhaid i'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi'r boi.

Are the Mankeys vengeful? Have you ever seen them to be quite vengeful or maybe vicious? They were bred by my apprentice to be very docile and non combative. They have never laid a hand on me or any other person. That's all I need to know. I wronged them. We really need to do a bit of diplomacy on our behalf to get them on board'cause I don't think they were best of friends. Is there anything they enjoy? Paste. Paste? Fruit paste. Fruit paste. Was that what that was in the Yes. Oh okay.

Alright then. It's quite nice. Oh you've tried it. Yeah, sounds well you s had a little bit of that first. Oh you've tried it. Oh what's in it? Oh How long ago did you eat it? How long have we been touring? I did it as soon as I walked down the stairs before you turned back from a whale into a person. Yeah, well again. Does your biology change? Has anything been thinking about you change?

Okay. Why? What forgot to be worried about? Why are you looking at your wrist? Well I'm gonna have to refill the bolts. Oh. Oh. Oh right. Yeah, you really had us go in there for a second. Yeah, well. It's just fruit paste. Calm down. Uh right, sit down, drinks. And she um snaps her fingers and like book cups just.

Off of the off off of the little bar she's got. It's all very showy. I could do all of this. I'm sure you could. I hope you know that I could do this. I believe you. I've just seen couple of colours. The big stuff though. That's pretty that's good. Fair enough. Alright, we're gonna need like a stock list and uh destinations names, that sort of thing. Absolutely, absolutely. Um okay, right, so she gets together a list for you of what you're doing. Your first and main shipment is um three barrels.

Of my crop growing brew. This is the things that make my crops grow so damn well. We're gonna try using it on the mainland. My master is. Uh he will uh try employing it for some crops there to help boost the population. Uh it's already a busy place and they're struggling to feed everyone. Have you created a brand name for this product? Uh not as yet. Have you got any suggestions? Uh McDonald's. Why McDonald's? Sounds there's a ring to it. That sounds real nice.

What the purple liquid that helps grow crops you've d suggesting is called. Never heard it before. Look, it's never gonna work. Okay. Going nowhere. What about Crop Grow then? It is. Crop Grow it is. Magic grow? Mm Magic Grow? Miracle Grow. Miracle Grow. Miracle Grow. I like it. Perfect. Right, three containers of Miracle Grow. Okay. And that's to your master on the golden tooth arm. Yes. It's not Mikel, is it? No, his name is Flagan. Blagan. Master Flagan. Okay. Bold head

with tons of hair coming out the side above his ears. Pff. Oh nice. Completely smooth on top. Huge explosion of hair on either side. Just to clarify we shouldn't drink this miracle grace. Uh I would not drink the Miracle Grow. It's highly toxic for human beings. Right. Have you tried to drink it before? I wouldn't. I know what's in it.

It's got far too high a concentration of compounds that are good for you good for plants but not good for plants. Have you never felt like being big? Bigger than you've It can be a whale. I know but Bigger. than a whale. Bigger than a whale? Well I'm just wondering if this is this is the stuff that could get you really big. No, no. Uh do an arcane check.

Seven. You think she's using a spell? Plus three. Uh plus three that's time. Yeah, I've already got that. I got your sheep in front of me. Thank you. Um It's a spell of some kind. It's a magical power. It's magic she's using. Just like you use to someone. Well using it on what? The herself. The polymorph. Oh. You're talking about how she becomes really big? Yeah. Or the juice?

Well I just wondered if the juice g gets you really big. So the Miracle Grow is basically a form of magical fertilizer. It makes the crop grow big, strong and tasty. My ability to change my size and shape It's a magical ability called polymorphic. Brilliant. Which I'm a master of by the way. Well you're clearly. Yeah, yeah, you're not. Impressive stuff, impressive stuff. As you're saying this, she slaps down two stones in front of you.

These are smaller than the stone you saw earlier. Right. Um and one is is an orangey clay color and the other is this sort of deep blue. I call these pocket rocks. You can use uh a spell and she shows you how that this this way of tapping the rock so it's like a two-finger tap on the rock and um out of it Pop uh she sort of puts it in front of her like this, taps it and out pops a barrel. Boom. Oh my magically one of these rowarized barrels just boom existence. He's a pocket rock.

I use them to store and transport things without using massive amounts of space. That's incredible. Each pocket rock can store ten barrels or their equivalent weight in grain or vegetables, which is a lot. Ten barrels is sort of almost, you know, five tons of weight. Uh each barrel's about five hundred cage uh five hundred uh liters of water. They're just all inside that little

These rocks, they don't they'll they they'll stop working eventually. They they don't they only have about a week's worth of time before I need to re enchant them with this ability. But um you should be able to make the distance here from the gold tooth owl within a week. Um and this should help you easily store and transport the ten barrels of water and um ten barrels of wheat and or grain. And all the mankeys.

Yeah, by by saying all, we saw a lot on that island. Like a lot. Fair few, yeah, fair few, weren't there? We have a caravel. Like how much are they gonna be on our ship invading it, like taking up all the space and all that? Basically, started off with sixteen monkeys. Four of them didn't make it through the pool'cause they were asleep. Right.

And um I think you kill two of them. Certainly. Um so we're down to I think ten monkeys in total. That's how many you're gonna have to transport. Tenkees. Ten? Only ten? Can they carry? That's how many we saw. Well maybe they can carry things. Or is there more is there?

There more than ten? I believe last time I checked there was at least fourteen on the island. Oh, yeah. Some of them probably a bit shy. I imagine. Do we have to round them all up or should we just take the ten that we've seen? Honestly, I I At this point I'm sure ten is enough for my master to extract some semblance of that little arsehole that was my apprentice. Do they need to be alive?

The man cues. Yes, it's very important they stay alive. If they start to degrade, there'll be less material for for my master to work with and uh it just gets more and more complicated from that. They'll be in a cage. Yeah, can we change them? Ha, glad you asked. My elementals be working on some form of storage for the monkeys. Uh we can't put them in one of these pocket rocks because they will ask, yeah. There's there's there's no option.

Right, they just die. This is basically a bag of holding in a rock. I see. Um So yes, not going to work well for the Mankeys. However, I will create some form of or I'll get my elementals to put together a very smart form of compact cage where they can all click together.

And and the mankeys can go in that way. I'll I'll whip the upper potion to keep them nice and docile. How about that? It'll be a spray you've got to be. They're gonna be drugged as well. Brilliant. Yes, brilliant. Perfect. Well if that elemental, that big stone one

It's carrying all the buckets. You got one like that that can help us move all this stuff? Uh the two pocket rocks are tiny. So I meant like the Mankeys, loading the Mankeys and the and the potions. Yes, yes, I'll I'll get one of the the the elemental stuff. Right, and you say seventeen fifty for all these delivered

Seventeen fifty gold, yes. And that's upon our return to you? That's upon your arrival at the gold tooth owl. I'll send a I'll send a a message to my master. You said you always do payment up front. I always take payment up front. Yeah, so do we. Oh.

Best I can do. Deposit. Okay, right, so she gets out of contract. Ah, I keep this qu contract paper just for contracts like this. This is a binding contract. Of course you know that all contracts in the gold tooth aisle are guaranteed. uh by various mercenary companies who happily take up uh contracts that have been broken or unfulfilled and hunt those both break. Yeah, I don't know. What's with these like

With subtle threats going on. I just want to know that, you know I want to be up on that ball with everyone else, you know, having a good time, smiling and We haven't taken a picture. We haven't taken one, yeah. And not a huge amount that suggests you won't make that. Some stuff I am a little worried about. So if you'd like to sign and she reels out and then there's no chance I'm riding all that today. It just says essentially what you've promised to deliver, how much for the

Is there anything we should worry about in this contract like the small print? I think we can turn us. Can you just give us a TLT l DR of like what it says? Somewhere in the middle. Oh, this is just um uh give me an insight check. Roll a D twenty and I'll add your insight. Uh oh. Four. Eighteen? It was four was a damn Seems good to me. Ca pee pee you're just like, yeah, no.

Contract looks good. You've seen a you've seen some of these contracts as a as a band member before as well. Like you know, in your previous You can sign those without reading them. Yeah, it looks looks fine, guys. Am I able to skim through it and read the entire document? Yeah. Go for it. Roll a D twenty? Yeah. Fifteen plus what investigation or insight. Insight is or investigation. So fifteen investigation is plus three. Okay, yep.

It seems above board. I mean i it's all boilerplate stuff. Um it's like I said, lays out the the the what you're buying, what what sorry, what she's paying you to deliver all. How about a nice warm meal and a bed for the night? Of course. Just chucked in as a sign of goodwill. That's very nice of you. Honestly, I appreciate that. They do. And we'll get you back to your ship in the morning with your goods in tow.

And you can deal with your new customers. And I can deal with the customers that are arriving in the morning. Absolutely. Well it's been a pleasure establishing this trade with you. I look forward to a fruitful and beneficial uh partnership going forward once we've completed this basic contract for you. We're looking to upgrade, maybe get another ship. Wow, I mean yeah. I mean we maybe get another possible future. I love an entrepreneur. Okay guys, you wake up in the morning

You've had unless you wanted to do anything in the night. Did anyone want to get up in the middle of the night? K O too like KO. Do you J O to you K O? No, I just hear him and kind of speaks writer. Come on. You pretend it's the monkeys in the next tower over. It's the monkeys. It's the monkeys. It's the monkeys.

Why does that make it better? Why does that make it better? That? In your shell? Put them. Into the shell. Sleep in the shell. You can sleep wherever you want. It's so quiet in there. Yeah. Can't hear it. You wake up in the morning the glorious call of the seagull sitting on the window of your bedroom in this tower. You've had a good sleep, you've had a long rest.

And uh you are feeling refreshed and excited for the day. A cool morning breeze rolls in through the open windows as once again the sunny sky above you. Uh the s blue sea stretches out until it meets the sky and blurs in between. You prepare to set out for the day. You know you have the uh barrels of Miracle Grow, the two pocket rocks that store ten barrels each.

Ten filled with purified water, ten filled with grain and seeds. Um and you have this new contract that you have to take back to the clumsy goose, back through the teleportation circle. Uh Yeah, do we know where all this stock is? As you come out of your rooms and down back into the foyer sort of area where the sofas and the bar and everything was, there's a humble breakfast prepared for you. Wow.

Just a few bits. Nice bit of uh coffee, um, which is a uh something traded a lot. Well yeah. Um and uh plate of grains and fruit. And what you think might be a little bit of turtle meat. It's a little bit of turtle meat, right? Oh yes. Periwinkle appears behind you, not like magically, just you didn't see it. Oh yes, yes. This was one of this was the acid turtle. Um died a few weeks back, but we thought wait's not whatnot. Try this meat. The acid isn't in the meat, is it?

No, no, no. We cut around the acid. This is good turtle, not bad turtle. I'm gonna try it. I'm hungry as hell. It's delicious. It's one of the tastiest meats you've had. Mmm. It's in a um a soup form. So it's like a a nice turtle soup with little chunks of turtle in it. Little bits of bamboo shoots, maybe a little bit of coconut. Do you want us to sit on a different table? I um You want some? I uh I want some I'm not being rude, uh but um

Well now they're similar to you. You pick the chew. Would you judge me freeing lobster? 'Cause I do and I have I'm not touching touching anyone then. No, I've eaten goblin. He's eating goblin. Importal sickness or something, I don't know. That's fine. Oh, I should have thought and she takes away the bowl and she comes back a bit later, um like a few

About a minute or two later, and there's a lot more like greenery and seeds and salads in the bowl. And like there's some nice deep dark greens that you might enjoy. A few chunks of fruit. And some seeds. Lovely bits of fruit. Here we go. I'll I'll losh down on this. So my new business partners, did you sleep well? Oh, lock down. Just about. What? Didn't need to say that. Sorry. He was jerking it. That's not the worst thing that's happened up in those bedrooms. Oh, very well.

Like what happened? What happens? Winks. That's an time. No, I I see the winks. I want the story. Story is for another time. Fair enough. He's stuck in an NPC loop. Yeah. Um use my imagination. Again. Now the stop.

Yes. We're pretty strong hardware and Wonderful people but But uh if you've got some elementals to do the job for us, that would really speed things up, we can get on our way. Oh of course before you woke I had some elementals take up uh everything you need up towards the teleportation circle in the other tower. They have the three barrels of miracle grow up there for you already.

Uh and she hands you the back the two pocket rocks. These are now filled with the required goods. Two tanks. Have they packaged up the man keys? The Mankeys are caged up in their travel cages, ready to go by the teleportation center. You're not gonna wake up halfway through the you said you're gonna drug them quite heavily or Uh yes I did, didn't I? I'll have to stop at my lab on the way up to the tower. Alright. Oh Excellent, well.

I think everything's in order we can kinda be on our way. After we drop off a Well we'll have to come back for payment, right? Oh of course we will, yeah. I mean about that actually. Sorry? They're gonna pay us when we deliver it to their master. And you did you d did we receive payment for the first part? We've got a half. You've got that, okay. So you have eight hundred and seventy shit. That's fantastic. Yeah, eight seven five.

Thank you for your You can go right in it. Why can't you just put some money in there too? I've got my bedroom inside there. We have nine hundred gold exactly well I've got nine hundred gold exactly on me right now. That's say it so loud. Say it so loud. Well, it's just that. Well, you weren't doing too well before you met me then, were you? Lucky you. Oh no no, uh the but the shit.

We just did a bit a load of upgrades, renovations and all that. Anyway, uh we put everything back into business because we care so much about our business. I can't wait to see your ship. It sounds fantastic what you've done to it. Well come on through. Have a brief look before your new customers come in. Oh I could. Yes, I'd like to do that. Thank you. Oh wow.

So yeah, we start early, walk downstairs, take you round, you climb up the other tower next to it, you come up through, she stops in her lab, she's jingling around with some bottles, puts them in a sprayer like a ts t, like an old perfume sprayer with a big like ch She's like. Oh yeah, that's good. That's good that's good. That should that should do the job. And um she gives you this bottle of like m Manke Ease. She calls it Manke.

I suppose you've got any potions that could maybe I don't know, G us up, give us like some kind of You want a high? Well I'm just well I'm just wondering uh we're out to see a stimulant. I'm just wondering if there's anything any kind of Magical potions that could maybe make it a little bit more than a little bit. Let's say nineteen. Plus three. Well it's funny you should ask. I've actually been working on something quite interesting. And she turns to you and there's this um

This vial she's holding up. And it's uh it's not very large. It's stoppered uh at one end and then a flat bottom and it's just a tube. I call this liquid haste. Oh. This is something I've been trying to bottle for some time. A sip of this, and for a minute, He'll move. Be able to take an extra action. Oh my. It'll be harder to hit. It's extremely potent. That seems very good. Thank you. For you, Titus.

So freebie. Amazing. Just don't come back to me if it's got any bad effects, okay? Well, I guess we'll be able to do it. Still an experimental serum. I'll try to keep freebie. Keep steady.

You sure you don't want to part with Terence? We could take him on a we could take him on a little trip for you. He's never making it back alive. 13 plus Ooh, you got plus seven persuasion. I do indeed. He's a bard, isn't he? You'll promise we'll take good care of him. Yeah. Smarter than he seems. She seems really torn up by Terence. You know you're not sp supposed to keep rabbits in small hutches like that, they're supposed to roam around a bit more.

I had to keep him in a small hutch, otherwise he'll bloody fly off. Has he? He can fly? Do you know that about this? Oh. Who didn't work that bit out? He doesn't have wings. Would you try pulling on his tail? You wouldn't dream of it, would you? We're gonna try pulling Terence's long lustrous tail. What happens if I pull this tail? Right now. And she walks over, gets Terence out, she's giving me a stroke, and then she just gently just goes, dunk, and Terence goes,

And then just like a helium balloon, suddenly starts suddenly starts floating up. And she's just and in and she's just holding him like this. And he's just like, I Terence is seen. So you think you've seen everything, right? I didn't know that, but I will I will show him the world that we see at least.

Give him a little adventure before bringing him back safely. I'll guard him with my life. You'll bring him back? Yes. After the delivery's done, he'll come back. My master might be able to send him through the ways, portals, perhaps? I'll bring him back. You promise? Yeah, I just wanna spend some time with the little boy.

Don't you start crying, I'll start crying too. He's gonna see so much of the world. And I as he's like like literally bobbing like a like a helium balloon, and like the Perry would like pulls him down. She's like, You'll be good now. No drifting off. Don't I d I almost don't want to take him now. Right, you take him. He's still just hovering there. Ooh, Terrence.

Bizarre little creature. I'll tie him to Michelle so he can't float away. Okay. How do you turn it off? He'll fart eventually. Hey, I I'm a bit of a dabbler in the old elixirs and stuff myself. You got an empty flask?

Yes. Yeah she'd she'd like to s I'll give you something in return of like, you know, make you feel a little bit better. Okay. And I'm gonna touch it and once a day I can do an experimental elixir. Okay. I don't know what it's gonna do. But I roll a D six. Yeah. This is an artificer thing. Mm-hmm. And uh I'll give this back as a gift. So I've rolled a five. So that means I've made um an experimental elixir of flight. The drinker gains a flying speed of ten feet for ten minutes.

A flight potion? I've just made you a flight potion. Oh, Terrence, I could have sword was you with this. Ten minutes. Not for long, but long. It's a very slow drift. Oh. But hey, maybe you can like drift out of your tower or something and overlook your operations for fun. Different type of high.

Would be wonderful. That would be wonderful. I'm sure you can make something more powerful, but there you go, a little parting gift. Oh, thank you. Well that's a nice gesture. She pockets it in one of her like many like potion things, like slides it in. You're welcome. I appreciate it. Oh, it's gone down.

Oh that's you doing that. I thought it was a door creaking. No, that creak was over there. Oh right, okay. Is the front door open? No, I closed it. Okay, right weird. So there's a fart sound and Terence drops down into your arms. Oh Terrence. Terence it's not permanently in.

No, it looks like you just sparts it out again. No, I was experimenting for a little while to see if I could enhance or harness this this natural levity Terence seems to have, but really it was the levity of the soul that was the true gift to my research. God damn, that is so bullshit. Insane. Well, should we go to the teleportation circle? Yeah, let's go. This this could go on for ages.

It's a friend friends we made along the way. God for that bullshit before us. Some real green soldiers said that stuff and they got their heads blown off. What? And they never made it home to their families. The goblins said this. No, I was with a hobgoblin crew. Where's he gone?

I've got Oh there he is. Oh you still you've still got his mane like tied round one of your straps, but it's long enough that you can kinda hold him. You could even probably put him on your shoulder if you needed to. So so he's a shoulder rabbit. He can be a shoulder rabbit. I can tie his tail to my shell, can I? Yeah. You got some strength. So that he's never gonna fly away.

Hopefully not. So I just pull him out and that'll make him float and then he'll fart down back. Yank his tail makes him fart internally, which then or makes the gas gather internally inside him. Which makes him float. But as soon as he farts, he drops back down again. Do you know if they float, um, under any other circumstances? Maybe when Orks are near.

Something's just I don't know. I mean my rabbit's infloated. I would just be curious if it suddenly started floating if we should start worrying. Well there could be some sort of magical apparatus or system you could put in place where it could be the signifying part, but no. It just does it when you make his tummy rumble. Oh. Uh there are similar animals in the world that have this this gaseous substance as a a form of

Great land lizard that uh if fed the right things can produce a similar effect. That's beyond uh what we're talking about here. Let's climb up.

This tower had been To the teleportation circle where everything has been prepared for you to go on your journey. Shall we Fantastic, yes. Right, you find yourself back up in the room you originally appeared in. All of the alcoves that house the monkeys are now empty. In front of the place where you came in, where you notice beneath the straw is a fully marked teleportation circle, um there is a

Like cubes. These cubes, these these sort of wicker cubes that have been made out of strong looking um palm or something like that, and then rigged together on top of each other. So you can take them apart or they can click together. The so the mon the mankeys hop in pretty small boxes. Like they're as compact as they can be without it being like Battery Mankees. Yep. Oh we just need to make sure they get there alive, not necessarily happy.

That apprentice was a real dick anyway. Fair enough, yeah. Anyway, and then um she walks over and um takes that potion back from just goes Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss And then like they just slumped down. They're a nightmare when they're awake. And she gestures to an elemental that's been sort of faded into the rocks to the right of you. Suddenly what you thought was like wall.

Um is in fact like this bouldering elemental that's just several time boulders and uh like strapped together by magical force. It's got these sort of hands that are like round and then just like individual shards of rock are its fingers and that sort of thing. I was trying to speak but you didn't give it a mouth. It hasn't got a mouth. They're really annoying. Really really way too talkative rock elementers if you get to get them going. Yeah, mumblers, ramblers.

Um okay. Th th this elemental will help you carry the um the mankeys to your ship. Um and uh Another one comes out of the wall, sort of the the rocks in the wall sort of thin a little bit as as as rock comes out and uh it forms another smaller elemental. This one'll help you carry the uh the the the bar barrels of miracle grow. Thank you. Are we ready to depart?

Absolutely, yeah. Will we need any of that Manke tranquilizer en route? Oh yes, of course, and she gives it a time to think just in case it works. Um careful with that. Also sometimes it's preferable to sleep, so little It spreads up to the Mankey perfume. Yeah. Okay. No side effects, I'm sure. Well it smells like shit. Okay, let's get working. She's like, she puts her hands up in the air like this, like.

She claps. Well we're not going through the way gate. Uh the the the teleportation circle then the the same sort of effects happens with the way gate. So she claps her hand, energy shoots forward in like a blade shape and then opens wide and then it's just a golden sheen of light. Um and then she's just gestures to the elemental that sort of just calmly starts picking up the mankey crates, walking through the light, coming back moments later, picking up another one. After you? All right.

Ugh. You step through. oceans rushing beneath you, you s you momentarily see the island disappear in what feels like Sort of the the bottom of your vision behind you, and you fire out the other end. All four of you come through. She seems to kind of help. mould the spell so it's quite a lot quite an easy transition for you this time. So you can literally step through and the next step you take.

you find your feet hitting the sandy, cobbled stone of the peak of of that mountain once again. Uh as you all step through. The mankeys have been piled up in a corner, um and the three barrels are there as well and the elementals have done their work transferring it through. Make it through all right, Terran. He's on my shoulder. Terence is fine. Yeah, he's a little wide eyed and his hair's like blasted back a bit. Um but uh he's he's fine. Terence, we'll teach you to speak one day.

Would you what would you like to say? Get like a basic gist of what it's doing. Titers can only speak with things that have a swimming speed. Oh. Oh, so this rabbit ain't much of a swimmer. Oh. Unless he uses speak with animals because he's doesn't have. Slow. It's because he's a mer person, he can speak the things that can use the sea. I let the monkeys go'cause I was just like You know what? We'll we'll we'll try another day. We'll try another day.

I can ask if it's all right. I mean I just wanna check that he's okay with me being his uh you know his his dad for a little bit. You're just gonna have to read animals' faces like everyone else does. Yeah. Like learning. Part of me don't wanna know.

So where's this wonderful new painted ship of yours? Oh it's quite hard to see, isn't it? Right on the edge. It's on the it's very high. Down that way somewhere. Wait, where is it? She looks out over and you do too now, you look out over the edge of the cliff of this hill that you're on, out over to where the your boat is. and two ships are now docked beside it. Uh they are of similar size to your ship, um

They appear to be what you know as sort of these corsair like characters. They are ships of fortune, they are ships of opportunity. They're also the ships that tried To rob Periwinkle. She chased them off, but of course she chased them off in this direction. They've now come across this island and found a ship anchored without any crew. They're crawling all over this ship at the moment.

Rooting through your stuff. Those corsairs again, she says, as well as you say our stuff. No. We need to deal with this now. Get your rifle. Well the rifle's on the ship. The rifle's in the crowznets. No! I know. What if it's like two cruiser ships, what are we gonna do? Do some wizardy stuff. Some of the stuff I can do is is dangerous.

And it could set the ship on fire. What set their ships on fire? No, I don't want to set our ship on fire. Well yeah but they're on our ship. Yeah, but then we don't get our ship back either way. Well we need to do it.

The hubbub and sound and light from this tower, even though it's quite a few, you know, few hundred feet, several, you know, three, four hundred feet from them now at least, one of them, you know, a lookout saw it and relayed it to his captain and he saw the light of the pool opening and closing. The other crew haven't quite seen it yet. They're all quite

Everyone's quite cla calmly perusing your ship. They think they found an uninhabited ship. Um you see them um you even see one of them hauling up some of the bits from what down in your hull. So they've also they're trying to detach uh the little uh little nipper uh from its mounting point on the front of your ship. Not little nipper, you bastards! How far away are we? I'm running. You are a five to ten

five to ten minute jog from from getting down to the ship. Or if you can fly quicker, but to get back down to where you're gonna have to shell our way down. Just mount on top of me, I'll fly And we'll slide down this path. Okay, yeah let's let's let's do this. Let's ride. Unless there's anything that um uh pe As you've been talking about this, you turn around, she's gone. What? Where's Pennywinkle gone? The portal closed. What? Periwinkle's disappeared.

Oh, we gotta deal with this somehow. That's our ship, it's our way out of here. On the tortle. Get on the ball. So we'll come with a tortle. Right me, lads. Okay, right. So you're gonna push off and try and get down this hill.

Right, constitution check, two dexterity checks. Like saves, I imagine. Sorry, saves, yeah. Okay, constitution check, I'm plus uh two, apparently. That's five. So seven plus five, six, seven, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, you two. Uh that's a 14 on my decks. Okay, that's fine. I hold on. Oh nice. Twenty.

Okay. You both hold on fine. And as you push and slide like a bobsled, Ki Pipi, you three, two, one, you guys jump on, push him as he goes, and he begins to slide. He's sliding down this hill now. Shh.

However, he's not quite got the angle, he's not sat quite on the ground, he hasn't pulled his leg in. And as he's going down, he skins his knee just as he starts. Takes three HP of damage. You're sliding down, you've done the first sort of fifty to a hundred feet, you're really picking up movement now.

Now you guys, I need you to do an acrobatics check to pull the shell left to bring him round the curve and down. Is that okay? One three Capipi, I need you to do another constitution check. Eleven plus two, so thirty. Yep, together you guys pull it round. You manage to make the call.

You see a couple of the monkeys are actually awake now, just like mm where you go. Oh, they're the ones I've put to sleep previously. Yeah, no, they're they're they're mixed because they haven't had dinner. They have to spend the whole night on the island. They're like, it gets cold. Um We infer. Uh that is 12 plus uh what was it again? 2 yeah. Yep you pass. It's okay, right, you've managed to drag that leg in now. It's a bit sore, but you're going with it.

Okay, um you're coming up to the next corner. Another acrobatics check. Right, more steering. Oh, 20 again. Wow. I'm bloody good at steering a toe. Ten. It's okay. Because you got together you manage to do it. You pull, you're heaving, you guys are like holding on to one side, levering your legs right out like you're standing on the edge of a yacht doing a big turn, you know, like the shoulders that snitch. And you make the last corner. You guys are moving with some real pace now.

going down this hill, the shell is beginning to heat up. Make another constitution check with disadvantage. Friction burn. I'm getting a bit warm. Unnatural 20. Unnatural 20, excellent. You hit a bump, okay? Kapee P lifts off the ground. Whoa! And as he lifts, he comes out of his shell, grabs you guys, goes around onto his back and puts you onto his chest. So now he's

He's sliding on his back. You guys are like clambering onto his chest like really close to his face. Really coming down. And then the ground starts to even out as you um come off of the little loose cobbles and into sort of like a sand trap kind of stuff. Where you Slow to a safe stop. I can't believe that actually works. That's pretty badass, right? You've now only got maybe a hundred feet to the beach.

Alright, I'm gonna jump off KPP and start running, but loading a musket at the same time. Always loading a musket, yeah. All I have is spells, I'm running with him. Okay, as you uh as you do this um you see a bright blast of light As a firebolt streaks out from the hillside behind you, the edge of the hillside, and it goes straight through one of the ropes on one of the Corsair ships. So they're like main sections.

Just the the the ropes are sending it snap and it just drops down onto the um onto the the deck of the ship and they're like, Whoa, what was that? Oh god, ding ding and then a bell starts going off. Um and then you see like another few more firebolts fire following up from an area up behind you on the hill that you presume is periwinkle now. Is it Winkle? It's gotta be Winkle! Winkle saving the day! Winkle saving the day. Right.

So as they're doing this, um they're starting to take everything they can valuables wise of your ship. They've ha they're starting to hack the rope of the anchor as well, because the anchor won't come off without the crew helping. But they can just hack the anchor off. And try and tow the ship out. Ow. So there are two ships

And they both have a crew of about eight to ten people each. Oh, okay. Yeah, so this is four of us. It's a decent raiding party. I mean, Periwinkle's a a very powerful wizard, so she could probably deal with them if she can get into position fast enough. But they're already, you know, looking they haven't put their set they they weren't using anchors because they like to be able to move quickly. So they're already looking to retreat and get away. They run rather than fight when they can.

I've got Expeditious Retreat, which allows me to dash as a bonus action. So I'm going twice as fast and I still get to do something as well. Okay, great. You burst out of the tree line and onto the beach. Boom I mean, bitches! The rowboat that you landed on is still there on the beach and they're a couple of hundred um yards out. Uh You can try and hit them in the musket. It's quite a long way. I'm still a hundred feet, am I? Uh well I think when when

Titus was trying to shoot the tree line from the the crow's nest, it was about two hundred yards, which is about the maximum range for a rifle, which is what he was using. You've got a musket which isn't as good as a rifle. Um so y you can try and make musket uh

I'll uh keep that one loaded and ready to go for when I get close enough. But for now, if I'm not even close to like sixty foot of range, I'm just gonna keep dashing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say that the the ships at this point, the nearest ship has drifted into about two hundred feet off the shore. Okay. So that you've got m you've gotta'cause these it's a beach and these are deep drafted ships, so you need to use the rowboat or something, some way to bridge that distance. Okay.

Um guy you two what are you doing? Yeah I'm running toward I'm running with him. Okay. So you catch up to him. Um he's already halfway down the beach at this point. Um you need to decide what you're gonna do. So you see um the crew are already still struggling. They haven't hacked through that uh that anchor yet. Um and some of them are made off of some of the stuff. We're gonna shout back at these two JUST TRY and sabotage their ships Stop'em getting away Okay.

You're not an initiative yet, so what do you do? You keep describing what you're doing. Well trying to sabotage their ships. We we came off our boat on the road. Yeah, we could get in that boat and run it back because I can't swim back. Yeah, I'll prepare the rowboat because I'll probably get there first, right? Okay. Right, so sword um hurriedly jumped up, sees the boat, starts pushing it back down the sand into the water. He's getting the oars ready.

Ready, he's throwing everything in. At the moment, all of your goods and stuff, obviously, the Mankeys, the all of that stuff is still safely up on the top of the hill there.

Okay, um as you're doing this, um a hail of magical darts flies over your head. So three of them just like sps, you barely even notice them these really quick over your head as you look back, and the guy that's trying to hack the anchor off of your boat just takes three magical darts of the chest and just and then falls off of the side uh and into the ocean. You're messing with the wrong wizard Exactly. And uh right, okay. So you guys make it down to the boat. So we're in the boat.

Oh do we get away? So I'll just get onto the oars ready to row as well. Okay, so you're in, swords holding the front of the rowboat. Just get me within sixty feet of like the deck. Okay, so you push. Jump into the front of the boat as you do it. Kipi's rowing away. I'm rowing. But Kippi, give me a strength check. You could probably firebolt one of their sails. Uh that's a seven plus

One. Does anybody wanna help K Pee P with the oars? Oh y I'm prepared. You're already doing you wanna get on the other oar? Yeah, I can help'em with the oars. Yeah, we're trying to go, yeah. That's uh oh, is that an eight and what would I put that with? Strength strength? Yeah.

Okay, right. So you get they're rowing but you're getting kind of frustrated because they're like Which way are you going? You're like trying to get a a mark with your musket or you've got your musket out at this point or not? No, you're just you want to get closer and closer. So I'm uh getting out a like a little vial from one of my things and it looks like just a vat of oil. of oil in there. And I'm like, I need to get a little bit closer boys.

Right, you're you're within you're within sixty feet now. You're coming in close. You're sixty feet away. You can see people along the banisters two or three of the Corsairs are looking over like They're coming, they're coming. So you throw one at one of them or in their area? Yeah.

So base is gonna turn a ten foot square centered on a point. So I'm gonna aim for as many of them as I can to make it slick as hell. Okay. And they have to make a deck saving throw like slip over and grease flammable? Probably. He's on our own ship. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm trying to stop them from like getting off. So they have to make a dexterity saving throw? I'm trying to stop them escaping. Right, okay. What's the DC? 13. One of them succeeds. He the one that sees you and he's like

Oh no, it's coming. He sees the thing for he just runs, like runs back towards the back of the ship. His two mates that are like coming out of the, you know, the front hole in the uh that took you down into the cargo hole. They're climbing out of there. One of them's got the chest with the frog in.

The other one's got like um a bag of grain. Um it just hits the guy square in the side of the head with the frog, right? The grease goes all over him, cascades all over him, all over the top of the deck.

And the the the frog chest he was carrying still locks, classes to the floor and rolls to the side of the deck somewhere. You can't see too much of this because you're below them, but you can tell that you saw the guy get hit in the side of the head over the side of the banister, and you know it's splashed everywhere. Right, it's slipped. Slick up their boys, but uh it could make it easier for us to get'em. I'm gonna go for an acid attack. Okay. I won the I won the hip I won the toad.

So I want a guy who's holding the toad. I'm gonna try. He's dropped the toad, okay. The nearest guy then. I'm gonna go I'm gonna fire a chromatic orb. In his direction. So this to hit first, okay. So when they Grease Bomb hit them initially they were like, Yeah that hits. Nice. Got him! So initially he's bro. So what does it look like when you fire it up there? Uh it's it's kinda spunks out like a like a big kind of

furl of almost watery acid, kinda greenish, and it'll splash him and right in the face and kind of just rain down him and melt his his his face away. How much damage does it do? I guess uh initially they were hit with what they were thought was a worrying liquid and they were like, Oh okay.

and then immediately is followed up with acid. Twelve damage. Twelve damage, great. Is my eyes are melting, I imagine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kills him. Um so so he gets hit in the head. Yeah he's You hit him in the head and he's just like trying to aware as well. First of all it's grease and he's like Ah what the fuck and he sees oh no the frog and then he looks left again and just pfft Acid this time. It's acid! It's acid bro

And then he falls towards you off the banister. Don't fuck with a frog! And into the water and um it's just like a mess. A brown organy mess just appears in the water beneath you and lots of little fish just come up and side.

Ooh. Yummy. Ah. It's feeding time. Yeah, okay, so you guys are like against the hull of the ship now, right? So you're like the rope ladder? There's a few ropes either side, front and back, that they've used to like you you can try and climb up one of them. You need uh give me an acrobatic.

Come on, Kapipi, get those oars down. What you can do is take the rowboat round to the back of the ship and uh where you can one of you can climb up and then hook up the ship and hoist it up if you want. It depends how much time you want to spend on it. So you wanna try and climb up the anchor line essentially. I got a six plus whopping. Seven toe. Seven toe. Plus one. This guy's a roller shit. Uh okay, right, you you you you try and you sort of go onto it, but then you.

rotate around the bottom and they're like oh just hanging on didn't make much make make much headway. You swinging. Guys hold the boat steady. Right what you um what are you guys doing?

Well can people go up, go start climbing. Is there something that I can climb onto to get up to the side of the side? Yeah, well you're smart. You're trying to use the ship's like anchor line to like climb up the front of the boat essentially. So you're front. You come up to the front of the boat. So here's the front sitting here. The Corsair ships are behind it.

Slightly further out to sea, and you come from the beach out towards the the the clumsy goose and you're at the front of the cl clumsy goose now and you can try and climb at the ankle line. Okay, I'm gonna try it as well. Okay, roll a uh from strength or acrobatics, whichever's better really. Don't really mind. Uh that's uh 16 plus my acrobatics is free. Okay, somehow sword, as you're hanging upside down on the rope where you've lost a bit of purchase, Kapipi's just making his way up this rope.

Things are just dangling off. You get clattered in the face by a loot a couple of times and he's like, I'm going up guys, I'm doing it. Right, you managed to get up the rope, you crest over to the front. Okay? Now give me a constitution check. Uh two. Plus two. There's a guy waiting at the top with a musket.

Clashes you in the face, black, flash, you fall backwards down into the water. This is a familiar feeling to you. Yeah. I can't swim. Oh gosh. Sword. Titus, once again, sword, you just see a shadow and then just a bit. Big splash and then Titus, you kinda see what's happened here. He's been crashed in the face and he's gone backwards off the rope. Just as this happens, you hear a anchor and they start calling the anchor.

beneath you. Sword, you're getting like am I being lifted up. You're being lifted up, yeah, but the rope goes through like a little channel. Tiny hole. So you need to kind of like work out what you're gonna do. Uh what you guys wanna do here? You'll need to do an acrobatics check once you get to the top. Yeah, um I'll let Titus go first.

Well maybe I should levitate you again. Bring you back out of the water and get you onto that that deck. Yeah, I'm useless down here unless you could pull me back onto the boat. I'm gonna try and levitate him up to the deck so that he's just out of the water and safe. Alright, whilst I'm sat on the boat, I'm gonna try and I see him go down and immediately start levitating.

leviting him up and go t fly fly true to the deck so you can peep me after a brief like boom floating again once again another familiar sensation it's party time Okay, do you want to move him or do you want to move in any particular way? Well I don't know if I can move him much. Twenty feet, isn't it? Yeah, I can move him forward. I just want to get above the deck. So he's on he's he's above the deck.

Now you're drifting up above. Acrobatics check for this uh this Yeah, what I'm gonna try and do is grab onto the rope and try and plant my feet on the side of the ship and then use that to like throw myself up. Yeah. Um so acrobatics. Same core strength. Yeah well. Upper body and core strength of this soldier is nuts. That's a solid twelve right there. And that's it. Just a plus one. Okay. Oh wait. I can, however, I've got an ability, I think it's a hobgoblin ability.

called saving face. Not to show weakness in front of their allies, because I've seen Kapipi like walk all over me, beat me in another race to the top. Yeah. Um, I'm trying to save face. Fear of losing status. Uh if I miss with an attack or fail an ability, I can gain a bonus to the role equals to the number of allies I can see within thirty feet of them.

Okay, so like plus three. Absolutely, that's enough actually. I was gonna have you scrabble and like hold but this is enough to pull yourself over. So for a moment you're hanging by your fingertips and you're like I am not losing to this bloody tautle again. And you just use incredible upper body strength. Pull yourself up over the edge. Just get those arms straight and heal yourself. I'll blank over. I'm good. I'm good. I did it, see? Look! Look at me! You stand up.

And there's grease all over the top. There's still there's there's one guy that's fallen over, the other guy who got hit by the grease. Musket's getting equipped. He's he's seen you two w he's got a floating tortle in his vision and a very determined hobgoblin has come over the front of the of the ship and he's like

Oh, he's covered in grease still. And he's backing up to the center of the ship, towards the back where his ships have like connected with it so he can board back. If you value your life, you'll tell the rest of your crew to stand down. They don't care about me. I'm just a cock of my sh You take the shot? Okay, roll it in. Whoops! The mid speech. Who up there? I don't know how that Yeah, there's no initiative at the moment, so That is an eleven plus uh whopping.

You hit him in the shoulder, it it clips his shoulder, but because he's covered in grease. And because this is Hollywood physics. Well that's actually 12 damage with the musket. Well he's taking that. Oh god, he's blown the shoulder. Like his arm's blown off, basically. They're not gonna miss ya. The round goes through his shoulder in such a way that you take out

All of the meat between his torso and his arm. The arm drops off next to you as he just looks at you just like drops to his knees and then from the shoulder point bursts into flames. Oh shit, the grease is flammable! And he's just he's screaming. I mean I roll away from the grease. You roll out the way, okay. Yeah, the rest of the deck goes up. I don't mean a water wizard!

Oh god. Titus. You hear this screaming and the well badass of comment followed by screaming. Um and um I was trying to all avoid the fire. Uh Kapee P You're hovering above it. What what do you want to do at this point? I need to get up there. You do need to get up there. So I'm gonna climb the rope that's still dangling down. The rope has come is come up.

They raise they raise the side. Is there anything I need to climb what's around me? There's more to the side. So on the edge of the boat, there's a couple of other ropes that are sort of dangling down. Round the back is where you dock the rowboat. Um and around the behind that, behind the ship, the ship's kind of side onto you. are the two coarse airships that kinda like butted their nose. So the ladder's on the other side. Maybe I can go round, jump around?

Offshore and then fly. Exactly, you're an amazing swimmer. It's easier to climb. So you jump off the boat, the rowboat, swim underneath the hull. Is he swimming up? You see how deep it is. Barnacles. Needs a bit of a clean. Needs a bit of a clean, yeah. It does need a building up some algae. And you come up on the other side of the ship. which is between two other hulls. So as you look around, you've got the flat hull of the of the um clumsy goose. Here.

And then you've got the two other holes, the the noses of them, sort of like keeping you in like this. And you can climb up either onto their ship or onto your ship. It's up to you. There's rigging you can't. Uh I can c go onto our ship because I think I've better vantage point, so I'm gonna climb up yeah, do I do an acrobatics check? Oh seven, eight, nine.

Acrobatics. Strength is That's a one, isn't it? Okay, you make your way up, but you don't do it. Was that a one or a seven? That was a one. Was that an actual one? Oh god, I thought it was a seven. It's even worse. The rigging snaps.

You fall down back into the water. The fuck! You just wait until my two guys are in. I'm saying that to whoever's left. So there's at the back of the boat there's a few people left, but between you and them is a massive fire. So you can't really make it out. Can you hear that? It climbing? Yeah. And then I hear a splash. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Okay, so as Ed comes up you feel a shudder as you realize that the the the Corsairships are starting to drag the clumsy goose out into the sea. You look back to the wind uh the beach and you see periwinkle. sort of look a bit exhausted. She's like come down the side of a hill, she's thrown off a few spells, but she's just like

You're already at 300 feet or so out to sea now, drifting, and she's just like she doesn't know what to do. Shit. Um and and the corsairs are dragging you and dragging you and dragging you. Further and further out, they have your ship. Uh you need to and your ship is on fire. Is the guy that uh fr initially threw me off? Is he the guy that died?

Or it was on foot or is he still there? Is he still there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's he's well he's one of the he's the one that I think trot uh saw and hit but it's who yeah. Is there anyone um near because obviously I'm floating above the ship, is there anyone that's aggroed by me at the moment?

Because I I have a thing. But they can't really see you because you're kind of hovering at the nose of the ship. Oh, am I not above the level? You're above the ship. You're above the deck by a few feet.

But not by much because it's on our deck at the moment, near. You're hovering above the deck of the clumsy goose, the front right of the deck. And there's no one on it. There's a massive fire in the middle from where the grease bomb hit it and it's now ignite ignited. Right. Sword is stood quite close to you also at the front. Behind the fire is the forecastle of the whole ship, which had last time you saw a senior looking officer, and a few more scally corsairs.

And that's where we'll leave it for now. So that is as the sh as the boats are dragged being dragged out by these two Corsairships being claimed. You got Titus in the ocean like with a net on him trying to like well not net, the the rigging has fallen off onto him, so he's dealing with that.

Because PP's hovering there like not really knowing what to do, and you're trying to see if we could fire the spot who's moving around behind weather frame. Terrence is still still on my shoulder. Terrence is still on your shoulder. Uh pretty wet. Yeah. Yeah, pretty wet. He'll dry off. He'll dry off. He'll dry off, bless him. But yeah, that that's where we'll stop for now. Blimey. I've got the next bit planned. Okay. Um and it should be pretty interesting. So join us next time for episode three.

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