Episode 1 - Part 2: The Weather Wizard

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Part two of session one slash episode one of booty. High seas, low expectations. You join us once again. We are on the clumsy goose, as it's currently known, the fat duck. The group has just docked up with a uh massive uh ship from the Empire's Trading Company. This is the Fortune's Grasp. They've just been doing some trading in the cargo Hall of Thrones ship. With Tyrone de Messi, the quartermaster of the great ship that they've docked with. They've done some great deals, sold some delicious.

Food you drink. Uh they've also lightened uh Tyrone's coin purse in other ways uh that uh He hasn't noticed yet, right? Gone undetected, yes. So far so good. Tyrone has returned to his ship and invited uh the crew of the fat duck slash clumsy goose um to come and trade and and look around the ship a little more. What would you like to do? We give it five minutes. Because we don't want to s look too

Like Keen. We can buy something, we don't have to buy something. Yeah, we'll swan on at that point. I'll let Kapipi go first as our currently captain Kapipi. Captive with a cake. Uh we're on board with it'cause we are loaded. I've put the fifty gold that I stole into a different container. Oh very good. Uh I is there another little chest or something like that. You can have your own coin pouch if you want. Like there's a coin pouch in the channel.

And ready to ready to go spend spree. Okay, climb up the ladder, up onto the deck. Uh you have to climb up the the plank that's got those lovely fold out handrails on it. It's very steep'cause the very steep the large huge ship that is the Empire trading vessel. Um you have to climb up the the plank here.

I'm alright with cardio, yeah, what do you mean? What about you? Oh I'm fine, yeah. He's a drum, he's got a drum. I've had some time to adjust. Okay, good. Brilliant. Well we got we're only halfway. I know. As you step back up onto the deck of the fortune's grasp, again still busy, people making getting ready to make way against once the trading is complete. You guys are in the middle of the ocean right now, moored to each other, anchors are dropped.

Uh you see a very busy deck once again, people scrubbing. You notice another very um standout character walking towards you, uh next to Tyrone, who's chatting to him um amicably. This character is taller than Tyrone. He's about the same height as Titus. Quite quite a tall, uh thin figure. He's got dark hair, pale skin. He's quite rough looking. Looks like he spends a lot of time outside, apart from the pale skin. This is what he looks like.

Um very pallid. Yes. Kind of noble looking hair that's seen a a lot of the elements. Um and uh he has a a long dark cape, long sort of darkly uh dyed clothes. of uh pretty high quality, noble standing. However, you notice a lot of his clothes are quite sort of threadbare at the edges. The l some s his cloak's damp. Um and there definitely seems to be a bit of a presence around it. Titus you kind of feel the uh you recognize this almost sort of like uh

an ambience of magical power around this figure. Um he where he walks he seems to give off sort of a field almost of of of of magical energy. Yeah, and and and the the two walk towards you. Uh Tyrone says to you

Alright lads, I've just been telling this chap here about the great deals you've been giving me. Lovely stuff. I said you can't wait to taste the cheese later. Whoa, beautiful. Yeah, yeah, well just save it for a special occasion, right? You can't just throw it out willy-nilly. No. That stuff was fermented for years. Captain's table only. Captain's table only. None of the crew are getting this. None of these dirty lot. Well, maybe you, Al McCormack.

Anyway, this is McCormack. McCormack. We call him McCormack Soggybottom. He's our weather wizard. He's the reason here. He's one of the secrets. Well not so much of a secret. Badly kept secret. The Empire's trading endeavours have gone so well. Good ships, good crew, um and every magical advantage we get. McCormack here is uh I I can speak from myself, he says to Tyrone. Hey, my name's McCormak, I'm a weather wizard. I I specialize in wind and rain.

Wow. Okay, so what do you do when the crew needs a drink? You know you like y y Oh you're the water guy I'm the guy that makes it rain. That's why they call me Soggy Bottom'cause I'm always bloody wet. Oh, so you like the name Soggy Bottom? Yeah, it's alright, you know, I got a bit of a reputation about me. Before I knew I was magical, I used to be just a sheep farmer that got wet. No! No! A mammage that summons the very clothes themselves. Phenomenal. A new How far and wide are your powers?

How far do they reach? Oh, it's a fairly localized area. Just over the ship. Yeah, I mean it's a big ship, you gotta do it it takes a fair whack to get out of clue to iron to cover the season this bagger. What is he saying? I cannot get a word of it. Uh the local area, so uh sneep hola So what brings you to these parts? Oh.

Well ship did. So you just use a regular wind, you don't have any uh you don't you have no way to control it. I don't have a special guy like you, no. Unfortunately we have to uh deal with the currents and all that. Well I'm part of a guild. Are you? If you go to one of the ports or big canes, you might find a weather wizard guild and you could hire us on. Not cheap. Not cheap at all. What what are the going rates? Come on, from uh hundred gold a day.

Hundred gold a day is absolutely intense. Well a hundred gold. You can yeah that's and half of that goes to the guild. We're very unionized. A lot of your dues and things like that get managed by the guild so that's good.

That's good. End of the day I'm seeing maybe after tax and after guilties, maybe like thirty gold in my pocket. But not bad considering good good's gold as well, because eh with your aims, if they you're gonna rust up all the queen and all this sort of stuff as well, yeah, you gotta be careful, eh? I've got like half of that. This is how ever we didn't he gives us all of our water and all of our wind.

Brilliant. Right well do you really clear the clouds as well? Can you like make it sunny? You're talking to I'm guessing you're talking to Cormac that's like Hey, hey, yeah, I'm gonna do all sides, hey, what's this? And he and he and he makes a cloud form. He puts his hands up. And he drops down to his knees and he's just like

Come on! And then out of the sky, the the water, the the molecules in the air, the the you feel humidity suddenly rise around you. Um you you feel he's not bloody kidding. The ocean itself, he's actually turning moisture on the surface of the ocean into clouds. So the moisture from the ocean raises up and quickly condenses into a cloud that slowly expands above the ship. Wow. He's like, yeah not baddy, you're a bit hot. Yeah I'm a little bit moist. Hey what's this?

of like really sucks in his like breath again Who come on and then and then and then sort of the cloud sort of s slightly constricts and squeezes th a little bit like a sponge wood. And and and the cloud slightly shrinks as as a light mist of rain falls upon you and the crew. That's lovely.

And it's a very refreshing cool w cool water. You know what? 100 gold a day doesn't seem so bad when you've got these kind of paths. Wow, I wish we could afford you. Hey I couldn't do all of this without a magical thingy jig here and he pulls he he shows you his hand and around his wrist.

There's like this manacle, this very ornate locked manacle. Wow. Which is sort of a very special form of arcane focus. Hey, basically this helps me enhance, control, and focus my purse. And you didn't have that on the farm where you used to be. No, I had a bit of control over the window. Right. Yeah, you're very forthcoming with all the information. Hey, I'm very proud of what we can achieve. Part of the Empire. Sloven, great ship. Where's Glass to that? He looks to Tyrone.

Oh, the the captain I I'm assuming he's talking about captain. Uh uh I I haven't seen him today, mate, no. Uh well, we're we're here, McCormack, to do a bit of trading. Uh so uh we've been told by Tyrone he got a lot of stuff. Oh yeah, no one got nothing to do with that. Don't do that. I don't care. I love your water and your wind kind of blow. Yeah, I understand. I'm not going back. We've got to clean it in the back of the ship, so I'm going to spray it all up, you know? Give it a power.

But yeah, exactly. Yeah, nothing gets that clean like a fucking hay battery, you know what I mean? You're really in my face right now, and I'm sorry, sorry, I Hey, hey McCormick, I couldn't do I could do wind magic too. Oh I'm gonna do create a ball of of of fart again. Right under his nostrils.

Just so it lingers there. And I'm gonna just make it all like like powdery, flowery, like smokes, just look at this wind. Look at this. Oh wow, look at that. Oh weed spell you got there. Yeah, that's good. That's my version of wind. Yeah. We all do things. Well done Titus. Thank you.

Well it's not the first time I smelt that smell actually. Okay, I'm gonna go and clean the deck at the back of the reset. Nice, okay. I'll leave you in the safe hands of Teddy on here. It's been a pleasure to meet you. Yeah. Oh the one, two, three! Yeah, good count. Very good. He lay on a corner. No he just like bondles through you. And then you won. One, one, one. One and three of us, yeah. One of you.

Alright, thank you. See ya. See ya. See ya later. Bye. See ya. Goodbye to you, Titus. See you later. Goodbye to you. I didn't know I don't know your name. Honestly, I don't I didn't introduce myself. I did not introduce myself. Goodbye, it's on his name page. That's where you got it from. Bye. Anyway, sorry about that. Just thought you might want to meet him.

Why? Why? He's an interesting character, isn't he? It certainly is. I mean the ability to summon water and wind at sea would be invaluable. I mean it's incredible. Yeah, can you make the wind loud enough to not hear him? Well he certainly can, yeah, it's lovely actually when you get that real howling coming.

Beside the point. Shall we go to my quarters, have a look at what we got? Yes, absolutely. This way if you please. Would you like another French fancy? No, I'm good. I'm good for French fancy. I already had another one. You can have another one if you want. What another one? Unless the turtle wants one. Sorry, Turtle. Tortle? You want one tortel? I'll eat it. Eat it? Can I see you eat it? You want to see me

Uh oh. It's custom. It's tradition. Is it this guy we're talking about? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Very well. Well, I mean, uh is there a way you like to see people eat these? I'd just like to know that we're still safe. Because this is a part of a ritual. This is about keeping parlay safe. You food and and water, drink and Do I feel all right? I m at the moment. Yeah.

I'm not wrong. I'm not asking Tyrone, I'm asking you. Okay. Yeah, you feel fine. It's quite nice. They're all really pleasant. What you're eating and drinking is lovely. These are like these are fine goods. He loves it. Lovely, look at that. It's strawberry in it. We keep these in an ice box to keep them fresh not all the way over. Oh that's good. It's really good, he's saying. Okay. He's mouthing it's really good, but he's got a lot in his mouth.

Right, come on over into my office at it back and you and you go sort of before you get to the captain's quarters. there's another kind of building in front of it. So it's like the forecast at the back of the of the ship, that big raised bit above the deck that you have the staircases either side of. Um in front of that is uh like a another office, like almost like a s a warehouse, a small shelter for things like readily needed things like uh crates, cannonballs and water and things like that.

Inside there, there are a couple of staircases that go down onto the deck below. You get down there, you go down those staircases onto the first first deck below the top deck. and it's uh largely crew quarters. There to you see down a long long corridor at the very end there's an open area with at least sort of fifty slung hammocks um all all down through all the framework of the ship where a lot of the crew sleep

In front of that are several rooms. So they're just wood all made of wood board essentially. So they're just constructed there and then. So you go down that corridor slightly. It's only about six feet at most. It's quite cramped. Five and a half feet more like height.

So you duck down, go down that walkway, turn right and you open up into a room of maybe ten by ten feet. Oh it's it's it's big, isn't it? It's huge. Yeah, it's a huge ship. I mean uh incredible, m amazing structures. I notice you've got some of the hammocks, the uh uh the head bashes.

The hammocks? Yeah yeah yeah. Well the ones particularly close to the walls. Oh you don't want those. No, you don't want those. Yeah yeah. They gotta earn their comfort. Yeah, you concussing kids at young age is real good for them. They're made of rubber at that age, so

Also makes them slightly more conducive to orders. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Do bashes over the head. Oh you've got it all sorted out, yeah, haven't you? Anyway, come into my office and you come in and there's a s very small cramped writing desk. his table and then all around is just like random boxes and crates and paper sticking out of other boxes. It's qu there's all sorts in here, but it's a quite a mess. Um

Yeah, excuse the mess, yeah I I've been I've been trying to get it in order for the time we we get to port, but we've got so much across the ship I've been trying to collate it all and organise it. Anyway, what are you looking to buy? Well, as you can see, we're a bit of a skeleton crew. Um I've got one gun, but I don't know if you deal in weapons. More ammunition. Well these two need a sorting out. See what I mean? Tom just got this one sharpened drumstick.

So you're looking for some weapons, Aik? Yeah, we're heading into uncertain waters, if you see what I mean, and we want to be able to defend ourselves. You know, we got the the precious cheese and the precious ale.

Sometimes you get the pirates and all that stuff come up against you, so here at least self defense. We're not looking for trouble. Yeah, yeah. I largely deal in trade goods and that sort of thing, but I can definitely talk to our um our sort of head of the head of the military uh on board and he can we can look into the armory and see if we've got any spare bits and bobs that uh our uh our military wing would be willing to um to look at.

Want to come down to the armory? It's just an ex it's just an ex room over, funnily enough. Well, yeah, before we go though, uh we have just sold a lot of our wheat. And flour to you and uh have you got any better food for us on our our journeys? Like better rations that are like just a bit tastier than just wheat and flour?

Uh absolutely yeah we've got um a mixture of things obviously we we've just made our three month trip so everything we're bringing with us is largely preserved stuff at this point all of the fresh goods um were consumed on the trip over. What I can do I can make you up some some nice packs of rations if you like with some extra bits and bobs. I can put some lime, some lemons, some salt fish. Oh lovely. Bit of hard tack.

You wanna you wanna put that in water by the way, you don't want to try and it's too much to eat with your teeth. I might be able to do it. He might be able to just not be tromper. Honestly it looks like very strong cutting edge to your to your teeth. Yeah, yeah. Um but yeah, if you like I could I could put you together like essentially like ten rations. Although you've probably got ten rations, frankly, but yeah, if you want, yeah, yeah, I'll put you I'll put you together a nice set of uh

Little traveller knapsec and he um he he he opens up a few of the smaller tubs and containers and things he's got and gets out a few handkerchiefs and like opens up the handkerchiefs on his desk and he's literally putting like a lime. Uh he's got some like salted beef that's like quite dry that he wraps in on a cloth and then puts that within the within the knapsack thing.

And then you know, various other little bits. A couple of uh sealed uh leather bottles of water, which is probably quite useful, a couple of water sacks he'll put in, ties it up, bundles it up, and uh Whistles up for a marine is like I'm gonna have a marine drop them on your ship if you want. Yes please. Thank you. How much are they? Yeah. Oh I'll do these for a silver apiece. Silver apiece for a mill dude.

That th this should be enough food to last you a whole day. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's 10 days. You want 10 days of rations per person, so 30 total? That's 36. Um, all right, so what else you want? Uh got just your general bits and bobs, really nothing overly special. I've got my basics on me, you got your basics on you. We've all got our backpacks and we just we just look for these weapons and then we'll take them away. Just a bit of defence before you guys settle down.

down for dinner would be out your hair or actually I did have this one thing I forgot about. We got this necklace that a magical wizard made. They're always magical, aren't they these bloody wizards? Never found a non-magical one. Not the weather wizard, no. This is something that I personally had commissioned. Oh. It it's a talisman. And it's supposed to protect you from shark attacks. I'm terrified of the ocean.

So um I I thought it might be sensible to um you know, I'm a bit superstitious. Yeah. I had this talisman made. And if you keep this talisman on your person, apparently it prevents all shark attacks. All sharks. Just for the person holding it? Just for the holder of a talisman, yeah. They hate it. The sharks will come near it and they'll sense a a a disturbance, a field, if you will, around around the holder of this talisman.

And it'll uh repel them. They won they won't come for you. Can you tell if that's magical? Can you like give a little sense of that? I mean our cana check. Let me just do a check. Here he is. Well 20. Net 20. You can tell that this is a magical talisman that repels sharks. That is a that is a mag it works. Legit. Um and I can imagine one of you probably wouldn't want to deal with one, so.

I think one of you should have it. Something like that must be quite expensive though. Woohoo. He's got an alpha price as this one. Yeah, it is pretty expensive. And I I'll be honest, it's um It's something I won't easily part with. I I think I I'd like at least twenty gold for this. Twenty gold gold. Oh So you fall in these oceans. It's easy to do round here. You fall in these oceans, you swim to shore. Hell, I've heard people even getting eaten in docks and in bays. Now Tyrone. Yeah.

We've saved your life today, have we not? Well, you've certainly put me in good graces with the captain, that's for sure. And I don't forget that silver deal that you tried to put on us for those bags. I tried, I succeeded, didn't I? You did succeed. But that's because we like you. That's true. I like you guys. I feel like, you know, there could be a bit of play here. Alright, mates rates. Give me a persuasion roll.

That is an eight plus minus one. Seven. Well, I dunno. Tell you what, best I can do, 15 gold. Do you wanna know what you have to say to activate it? You shout, this is a shark attack. This is a sharp attack. This is and you gotta do it at the right rhythm. A shark attack. And if the shark hasn't attacked you by that point, the Talisman activates, propels more. Can you do it a bit quicker than that? No, you've got to do it in that cadence. Hold on to it. It's protected.

You want it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do want it. I've got a bit of spare change. It might be useful. I pull out fifteen of the gold that I stole off of him. Lovely. Hopefully he doesn't notice it. Thank you very much. I should do a business with you. Be very careful with it. It's kept me safe this whole time. Right. Of course I haven't been in the water much, but no sharks have attacked me on land yet. I'll let you know I can I can communicate simple ideas to beasts like this.

Fifteen gold. Wow. Like, don't eat. You could do that. I can do that. But why didn't you say anything? I literally just made a transaction. I just feel like you might be a little bit more. It's a nice town. If you fall in, I'm I'm not there.

It looks lovely, I think. This is for you, I think, mate. Right, do you want to go next door and have a look in the armory? Yes, please. Yes, please. Alright, he stands up, gets up from behind his desk, walks over to the door, opens it, steps out into the hallway. Shouts Oi frescu! Firescu And then uh you're uh clump, clump, clump, clump down you come. Oh yes, what is it?

Tyrone and uh in front of you is a very sharply dressed looking um um military uh person. Uh he's uh in a red coat with uh white shirt underneath, uh long coat, very, very well put together, has a hat with a big long peak out the front and a peak out the back and then a fluffy feathery thing along the top with a big ridge like a Mohican. And he's like

What can I do for you, Tyrone? What do you want now? And he's like, This lot wanna look in your armor, you got anything for sale? And Tyrone's like, well maybe we've got a bit of the excess. I I always bring a bit bit of extra armor armament on board just in case we lose anything over the side and

It's been a quiet crossing, so yes, I'm sure there's some things we can do. And he takes the lead, walks ahead of Tyrone down this narrow corridor down under the first deck. Um and on your right there's another door. This one, the walls are reinforced with iron uh

throughout. So it's essentially a cage of iron, but then they've put wooden doors and panels around it to make it look a little bit more in keeping with the ship. But it's serious business behind these walls. It's clearly kept under lock and key. Um Um the forteskew, the the the captain, the the uh the marine captain takes out a key from around his neck and unlocks this big heavy padlock on the door, kung koonk, opens it up. Uh swings the uh swings the uh armory open. inside um

There's a lot of weaponry. Okay, so on the walls there are racks of um standard issue muskets There are blunderbuses, there are swords, boarding pikes, which are like s sort of short spears. Um, there are axes. Uh and then on the floor, there are the heavier things that you can't mount on the floor, uh on the walls. So there are different kinds of cannonballs, first of all.

Moreover there are um swivel guns, which is like a very small form of cannon that can be loaded with a single shot. It's about the length of your arm, still very heavy, they really need to be mounted onto something. Um uh there's a couple of those. Uh there's also um a mortar, which is like a small wheeled. It's about the size of um Oh.

Oh god, it's about the size of a dog. Your average dog. Yeah, yeah, average size dog. It's quite a small thing on we on a wooden um frame with uh a large sort of cast iron mortar with small wheels and a rope that can be pulled around. Um so yeah basically you've you've got sort of infantry level weaponry here. Um there's braces of pistols, there's a couple of decorative looking pistols, like pairs of pistols. Oh they look nice.

Yeah, I've those are those are the captain's personal uh weaponry. Oh not for sale. Uh those probably aren't going to be for sale, but I can always ask him if you're particularly attached to them. Yeah, we just want something that works. You can point at something and then it dies. There's a circular table in the corner of the armory which has flint lock pistols arrayed in a circle pointed in. Uh they're all um they're quite short for a flintlock, so they're only about

Uh let's say 10 inches long. Um, but they're yeah, they're they're just what you're looking for, really. They're sort of a reliable sidearm that you can pull. inside um if you like, but range and accuracy is is not good and they are shorter than the average flintlock, so they're actually going to be um worse performing than than a regular pistol.

Uh. It's more of a deterrent than anything, so I think just having one in your possession is enough. Uh we do have a couple of the much more rare rifles. Uh you see here and then you look up and then it's a shorter than a musket. But yeah, these uh had the barrels on the inside have been rifled, allowing you to reach much greater distances. Whilst a musket is perhaps accurate to let's say fifty yards, uh a rifle can sometimes be accurate to two two hundred two hundred yards at least.

I've seen sort of damage they can do. I we tend to put people up in the rigging when we are assailed by bandits. We send our riflemen up to the tops of the sails and they um take out valuable targets. Now How much are we talking for one of them? For a rifle? Yes. For a rifle you're looking at twenty gold per rifle. A musket I can let go for seven. One of the short pistols you saw earlier? Five. You're pretty keen on having a rifle, right? I'd like to use a rifle. I think I could get a treat. Oh.

Mickey, what do you want? Sticky Mickey. Like I say I I I prefer uh not to get involved with too much of this action that we may or may not have previously had. But when I do I like to you know I I'm more of a basher. You seem like a fist guy Well, yeah, like sticky Dicky Mickey they call me. So like have you got anything more sticky? Like melee. More melee. Swords for sword. Well not for sword. More stabby kind of. Stabby stuff. The sticky.

One for each hand. Well he used to have two jumpsticks. One of them went on his eye. Uh but Something that's just a bit more Well, why not a run of the meal? Bayonet. So a bayonet is um they're about this long. They're a triangle shape. When you look look when you look at the bayonet, it's this shape. It's a triangle. So it goes to a point. So it's really used for stabbing. Right. Now we we we can attach handles to these for you. They can go on the end of rifles, on the end of muskets.

Hell, they can even go on the end of one of these pistols if you've got the mounting quite right. But essentially uh you you can you can use bayonets to do exactly what you're doing. Can I can I get two of them?

Of course, yes, we have sheaths here for the bayonets themselves. Can you just put like a little handle on it? Uh can you like engrave it like sticky mickey or something? I can't do that. I'm I'm not I'm not a woodworker. Okay. Um but what what I can do is I can show you how to do that or how where where you might mount the handle. I might go for these bayonets. bayonets and with the aim of having an engraved handle later.

Okay, so a couple of bayonets. Couple of them. A few silver each. Few silver? Let's say five silver for the pair. Mike are you put buying these for? Not on the company. I don't well. Uh it's gonna benefit all of them. How many how many is that for two?

Five silver for the pair. Five silver for the pair. A lot of shopping. You guys like shopping, don't you? Yeah. Okay, it's boring. Out in the open sea. You gotta do a bit of shopping. What's the point of collecting all this gold if you ate to go do a bit of shopping? Exactly. What's the point of having all this money if you ain't gonna spend it before you die? Yeah. Live life, we say. Live life. I couldn't agree more. Or take life in our case, am I right? Oh yeah. Well that you said it.

What are you having? Anything off the walls? Well, anything to take your fancy? What about these big bo big boys down here? Mortars. There's a small cannon as well. You've seen that one over there. There's like a very light poundage cannon. As well. Do we have cannons? We call this one Little Biter. This is something we use uh it is, it is moving. It can be mounted on a it's like a small trolley that it comes on, like four wheels. It's like imagine a shrunk down like ship's cannon, right?

But also the cannon itself can be taken from its mounting point and mounted onto other things. We love it, we've done all sorts. We put them on rowboats. We've used uh several of them t in fortified positions on islands before. This fires a cannonball that's basically uh probably only, you know, a kilo in weight. Uh however, we do do many different kinds of cannonballs. This one's hot shot, if it's heated on a uh uh a hot uh grid of of fire.

for a l a little while, a few minutes, and then you use this special little handle to load it in to these these little buggers. Oh, that'll explode on impact cause fires. Fragmentation causes hell on the bottom of a deck, let me tell you that. When you've got a gun crew trying to reload and they receive a hot shot through the front window.

Oh the times we've had here the gun cruise. I'm a little worried how much fun you're having. Well, uh Marine Captain, what do you expect? You've gotta love your job, aren't you? You do, and I bloody do. I'm in one of the best ships.

The funny thing is, right, nobody's got ships quite as good as ours either, so we can just sort of dump hell down on people. They've gotta get really lucky. Three years ago I was on a commission with the uh Church of the Three Pointed Star, came up against the Lobstrini, uh the Loblin Free Navy. No, not the Loblins. The Loblin Free Navy. Okay. They were raiding off the coast of the Thousand Two Thiles.

Hot shot and scatter balls everywhere. Great shot across the top decks, one of their little uh their little schooners. Bloody hell, you've never seen a a a loblin turn into as many pieces as that, I'll tell you what did they do? Instant chowder. What do they do to provoke your response? Well they came alongside. They looked like they were eyeing up our cargo, so we thought we'd fire off a few perimeter uh grap grape shots across the deck. They didn't actually

They got pretty close. Close enough for us to use Grapeshot after we went to death. We got we got lucky then. Nah, there's bloody g loblin free navy. Loblins. Come on. Not loblin sympathizers, I think. Of course not. No, no, no. How much is your little cannon? The little cannon? Yeah. Oh, this little bagger. I've forgotten what I called it now. What the hell is it? Little kipper or something. Little biter. Little biter. Little biter. That'll be thirty gold.

God I've just run out of that much. I don't have that much on me. You don't have that much on you, do you? What's that eye patch you're wearing? Huh? The eye patch. Remember you're still wearing that? Yeah yeah. What about it? Seems special. What's special? Having his weird eye. I'll let you wonder a secret. Can't see shit out of my left eye.

Can you not? Nightmare for cannon ranging, let me tell you. Right. No depth exceptional topic. I wonder why. Yeah, it was. Blocks out the all the all the gore though. It's a glass eye. So I've got a glass eye in, but I am looking for a stylish patch. Tell you what? I'll trade you the patch for the cannon. Have you seen behind it? And what is behind it? I haven't even.

It's just a mangled scarred. Good God, what happened to you? Well, it's uh it's a long story really, but it ended up with uh most of my my squadron. I was a soldier once. Not a marine though, not a navy man. Anyway, uh one thing led to another. Uh we were spill split into disarray. Everyone kinda lost their minds a bit'cause we were kind of in the

sticky end of a fight that we didn't want to be part of, shall we say. Right. And uh one thing led to another and my head went uh really cold, really hot, and then I woke up without seeing out one eye. Sorry about that. Yeah, I lost three days of time. Well then when I woke up lost three days and time. And an eye. And the eye. And the eye. I don't know what happened. Bloody hell.

I was out I was out cold. Who were you fighting for at the time? I was a mercenary, so I wasn't fighting for anyone in particular. No, just the guys paying you. Just the guys paying, I didn't ask any questions. None at all. Yeah. How much they pay you? Per mission, per skirmish. Yep. So if we were to fulfill our order, it was 200 gold. Whoa. And uh if we didn't come back with any goods, I still paid him a day rate of a hundred.

Bloody hell, well you can affi afford a little biter no problem then. So I was good at my job. Out with it. We we're doing the deal for the eyepatch or not? You're leaving this here? You want the eyepatch? For the little biter, yeah. Alright. I take the eyepatch off. Oh

Superb You're gonna have to deal with this. Oh it looks horrible. Have you cleaned it out? No, not in years. He holds it up and he's like, What what is this? Is this some sort of special metal? Eh, it's got some special quartz. Very strong. Pretty strong, eh? And he like puts it down on the table, pulls out his bayonet. Got! Didn't even pierce it. Hey, you put it on, I've got this other drumstick here. You wanna see how strong this is? Go ahead.

But I go to stab him in the eye like we did before. Roll roll the hit. Look at how strong this is. Okay, I'm ready. Keep still. Keep still. Come on, he's ready. He's three. GOOH RIS TLE Oh Oh he cut me a little bit there. Oh you missed a little bit. What? Look at the eye patch. Completely fine, isn't it? Impervious. Incredible.

I need to study this metal. Sorry we could cut, but we could cut myself physically. I'm usually c I'm a bit more accurate than that my sticks normally. That's fine. Uh do you want the Marines to load this on for you?

Yeah, and a bit of ammo. Well I mean th those things incredible. Yeah, I I'll give you a selection of shots. What should we say? Five from the top and any three from the bottom? Yeah, give me s make sure the hotshots are in there. Hot shots, right, five hot shots. Brilliant, wonderful. I'm also gonna put five, extremely valuable because of that eye patch was so good.

These are enchanted balls. You can, with the right magical aptitude, steer the balls that fly from this little biter around corners, over the tops of things, through windows. We've got some incredible shots with these in the past, but you do need some magical competence to be able to use them. Oh, and that reminds me. Cannon gloves. Cannon gloves. Whenever you're using a cannon, you've got to wear cannon gloves. Of course.

Oh right. You're right. Uh you can't handle the balls and the uh camera they're they're all oily and stuff, right? Enchanted glove. They're enchanted they're heat proof. They're heat proof and they uh they give you perfect grip. Yeah, these are very grippy. Yeah. Lovely. I'm glad you like them. They really cup a ball like that. Because you've all got a pet. Brilliant. Oh look at that. We can't. You want to carry the arrow back onto the ship? Wear the gloves.

Brilliant. Anytime you operate the little biter and it's special ammo, it's gonna check the sizes of our gloves. There we go, there we go. I'll put a bag of a hundred shots. I wanna catch the uh the grip. This isn't hot yet by the way. No, of course not. I wouldn't toss around a hot shot with it lit. What do you need the glove then? No, I just want to see the catching rate. Oh yeah. Extremely tactile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can yeah, I can grip it. You want one? Yeah yeah.

Just you do you catch it? Yeah yeah I'm extremely dexterous. Why should you throw it so hard? Well that's in the military, didn't you? I threw it as hard as I threw it at him. I don't normally lift my arms. Be careful. Come on. And then in in um They're gonna be coming much harder. Very beautiful ornate chest. Um he opens it and he's like

And here are the enchanted balls. Wow. Six. And they're each individually numbered. They're in this beautiful chest. What do they do? They uh will hit any target you specify. Guaranteed. Within Guaranteed here. There's some magic involved and some chance. Uh but yes, ultimately these are incredibly accurate. Um they they are enchanted to sort of link with the gunner and the gunner itself can sort of specify his comeback um quite how the shot works. Fantastic. So uh you have regular shots.

You have the hot shot which can split, cause fires and fragmentation, and then you have the enchanted balls which are like for your real special once in a lifetime m giga shots. That shot in the distance, right? If you like I can have our ship's carpenter take a look at uh your ship to see if we can mount it on the nose, for example uh You know what? That'd be wonderful. That'd be right, thank you. What's your name again? My name is Forske Sharp!

And I am one of the finest captains in the in in the Empire Marines. Very honestly. Remember my name. And remember the damage I did to the loblins. He hates loblins. Forces too sharp. Yeah. Yeah. No, we get it. Nice. I'll leave you in the safe hands of Tyrone here. He'll the Marines will take all of your purchased equipment on board. Um please make a note of your inventory. Uh it has been a pleasure. Likewise, thank you from us all aboard the silly goose ship, whatever it was. Excellent. Okay.

You're such a natural captain, I know. Alright fellas, well I hope you've got everything you need. We're gonna start and we're gonna need to make way soon. So um if you would like to uh find your way back to your ship unless there's anything else you'd like to ask or do whilst you're aboard Lee! Fortune's grasp! Oh, we wouldn't want to be up in your air when you're preparing that lovely dinner. No!

Oh, just I I'd forgotten about that. I'm looking forward to it now, thank you. I wish we kept that cheese for ourselves, but uh it is good stuff, it's a fair price for it. Don't you take any of my yummy cheese like the best. Well, it's been a pleasure, Tyrone. Thank you very much. We best be on our way while the headwind is pretty strong. Oh yes.

Unless your little wizard wants to give us a little boost on the way out. He's on our payroll, not yours. Yes, fair enough. Of course. Fair enough. It's been a pleasure, Tyrone. I'll see you up. And then he sees you up to the top deck, escorts you over to the plank. Awkward.

I thought he was gonna leave at this point, but he's following us through the cloud. Oh he's all the way, yeah. We've already said goodbye and then we're still five minutes later walking with him. Okay, so he you I imagine you walk back down the plank, down onto your own. How do we take them off? We just take them off. As you're talking you hear the plank retracting and the

Make wave, make sail! And the planks, the handles come down, the handrails come down, the plank pulls back up, and then you just see these huge sails open up as they catch the wind. And you hears, it hey what can you do? And you just hear the the the Cormac shouting. And then you just hear Oh.

A huge gust just wind it. Takes takes the it takes the sails and the ship the huge ship shudders quite dramatically into action and starts going at sort of twice, three times the rate that it looks as though Boat should be traveling at. That is phenomenal. One day boys. Weeeee in there in me. What are you doing there, Tyus? What?

Oh you got stuck on your hands. Yeah they're very grippy. Very on the inside and out. You're where that ship was. You can now choose to sail south, you can sail east on that other track. It's uh it's up to you. You can put the hat on if you like and talk to the crew. Oh What would you like to do next? Is it mounted on the front, this little nipper? Uh yes, the carpenters came on. They built you a really like just super simple mount. So

It's on like, imagine your ship has like a handrail all the way around, right? This is built onto the nose. It's on a wooden s sort of uh frame and it can swivel around. So you've got a decent arc of fire on this thing. It can also be removed easily. It's basically just it. Just its weight and a rope over the top that's holding it in the mount. So if you wanted to move it, place it elsewhere, it could be done. Brilliant. Should we uh say hi to Dinky?

Bring him back into the Yeah, I'll update him. Before we do, do we mostly get all of that effectively for free just by giving him his money back that you stuck? Yes. Yeah, he's gone, he's gone. I stole fifty gold and then paid it all back. That's a treacherous you even noticed, didn't you? You didn't even notice. So you're welcome for that rifle. Right, let's say hi. Oh, hello everybody. Pleasure. How's it going?

Where are where where are we? We stopped. Hi Dinky. How did the trading with the great ship go? Fantastic, yeah, you sorry I took the hat off, I forgot. And uh we made some fantastic deals. We've now got a mounted turret on the front there. Oh, I say that looks fantastic. And your crew qualified? Yes, absolutely. We've got we've got gun crews. I mean they largely work on this trading ship as as as as

All sorts of things. In case we have to defend our brand new beautiful blue ship. Absolutely, they've been trained to operate cannons. Are we doing any more extra miles or what's the plan, gentlemen? Are we are we going anywhere else stopping off at all before we return the ship to its rightful owner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well again we got a year.

So we'll head in that direction, but I do believe there's a lovely little island that I'd like to stop at. Uh en route, right in the middle. Uh it's it's a lo it's like a volcanoesque. Shape there. Oh let me look at that map and he looks over your shoulder and watch. Oh yes. Yes that that island's always intrigued to me. What's this one? I I'm not sure it has a zoom in more, it's there. I I know exactly the shape uh the the island is. You know you your s your sight is a bit weird.

Of course we can stop off there. Uh I hear it has a wonderful waterfall and uh a great single mountain, which at the top has I hear strange objects or place or s or someth something of interest is my memory is hazy. I I I this map was was found rather than crafted by any of the crew on here, so I but I presume it's accurate. Would you would you like to go that way? Yes.

I think we would. I think we I think so. Full mast. Make f make way, crew! Drop trowel, pull up anchor. Drop trowel, pull up anchor. You don't have to repeat everything, I say. I feel like I should do I uh you know, I saw what that guy did back on the ship. Oh you wanna try it? I saw what McCormick did. I feel like I can make this faster. Go on. I'm gonna get those bloody winds up. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna give it a go if I if I can.

Boom. Yeah you do. Plus three. So what do you do? Describe the spell. Let's describe the spell. Um I start waving flailing my arms such as this and go, Oh I'm gonna get the window! Look at this, I'm better than that guy. Oh here we go! Back and strongly here comes a gust of wind. Actually doing feel a breeze. And as you do that, gradually. You the you notice around the ship, things start to blowing.

Starts off at first just like a you know the odd bit of flag going What the hell? And then it starts to become more and more consistent. No way. Yeah tires. And then the sails snap taut. Boom boom. And the ship starts moving. The anchor's out. Yeah and you are definitely moving to the bottom. Yeah honestly Oh sir, this is fantastic. Oh wow the goose is she's she's really sick.

She's really sailing now. And uh because of the. You could earn a hundred gold a day doing that. I really could. I just remember that, that I'm still here with you doing this when I could be earning the big bucks. What's that?

A few more hours pass of great sailing. You've had um another I mean you you guys have had nothing but good sailing so far since you've left Dockers Bay. A few more hours pass, um and on your off to your uh west, uh No, east off off the left hand side of your uh the port side of your ship, you see an island hove in the distance.

There it is. Uh it is a beautiful looking island, beaches all around, uh with a small amount of trees. Uh just off the beach. There are palm trees surrounding this uh very large, it looks like an extinct volcano. Um so it's very tall. It has what looks like a flat-ish top. to this uh this this very tall m it's not a mountain. It's it's probably a few hundred feet high. And you can see that there's actually a sort of circular pathway up to the top.

of of the peak of this uh this island. It seems completely um empty. There doesn't seem to be much going on. You see you see um a small river uh that comes out into the ocean um through the beach. Uh that river goes up obviously up towards the mountain where there's a w uh waterfall falling down. It's it's it looks like a very idyllic. It looks like a tropical island with a big extinct volcano in the middle of it. Well boys.

I think we've you know, we had a hard time getting this vessel. Maybe we should take a load off. Have a little dunk in the waterfall and all that. Back on land for a little bit. Okay. So what you can do, you can you can drop anchor, uh A hundred feet off the coast and there'll be there's a small rowboat on the back of the ship that can be lowered down um and you can row in into shore if you like. Maybe if we find some like coconut

Yeah. We can line them up and you can test out your rifle. Oh that's a great idea, yeah. From the ship? Or if you want to make my range, aren't we? Where are we at? Well I'll row out and then get a layer of the land, see if there's anyone there and then that'd be good. Just take a load off for a bit, the crew. Nah, they can't do anything. Only on very few charts. The map you're using is very rare. Mickel found it um amongst a trove of once thought lost charts.

And he's used them in no small part to make his fortune because a lot of people don't know that these places are where they are. So what you may have come across here is is a place that Mikkel was yet to go to. This this you could be the first civilized Uh people to step foot. on this island. Well it's unlikely. I look at that path. It's a good point. Who made that path? Yeah. Who made that path?

You could be the first civilized people in a long, long time at the very least. Oh it could be ancient. It could be worth walking that path and seeing what's got yet. I'm gonna make sure I take my pistol on me. Okay. Oh. I'll make sure that Mickel's got his brand new one. Well his stabbers. I've got my my new uh You got you got names for those? Not yet. I'll be looking for something to maybe I'll name them after the first kill. Oh that's

Really really messed up actually. Not that not that I want to use them. No, of course like it was a rust in that face, but it wasn't. Do you want to stay here in the crow's nest? I'll have a go, yeah. Alright.

Mikkel are gonna row out. Uh could you prepare the rowboat for us? We could, yes, of course. I will prepare the rowboat for you. I'll put some a small amount of supplies. It's not a big island. The island's sort of less than a mile wide. Um so you could easily walk around it in a deck. Make sure to drop the anchor as well so we know where the ship is.

The anchor's already dropped, so don't worry, we wouldn't leave without you. Of course. You you brave, brave adventurers who mid-sentence, I take the hat off. So here you go, Titus, is your hat. Who volunteered to bring back the ship for our beloved captain of the. The hat pop from one person to another. Um yes, we will prepare the ship for you. And we will keep an eye out for you. Uh anything else you need before you leave?

No, no, I'm all good. I've got my rations and stuff on me, so. Very good. Let's check out this let's check out this paradise. This wonderful place that not many people know of. So you row into land. It's not very far. It takes you a few minutes to row from where the boat is. You're doing great. I'm Rowan. His name's not Mickle. Mickey Mickey. Mickey Mickle. Sorry mate. Why am I the one having to do all the row in the room? Well, I gotta guide us in.

You're doing good. Yeah, just less splashing if it's. You are. You can either choose to um bring the boat up onto the shore, onto the sand, or if you like you can go up the the river itself. There's a a a reasonable size river, it's about ten feet wide.

that's going out into the sea there. If you like you can try and pull row up against the current to go further up into the into the sea. Go on, mate. Sure, can't we just go to the closest bit? A bit further in. Right, constitution check from Sticky Mickey. For what? Constitution. Or actually strength check. Give me a strength check. Right. Love. Your strength modified. One.

One. You he tries to row against the river for a while. He's really going, he's put his back into it. But you notice after some real concerted efforts Uh so do you sort of look off to the side and you notice you're you're sort of just drifting back a little bit back out to the sea. The current's quite strong. Alright, fine, we'll go to the closest bit. So you just pull one of the oars, the the ship spins slightly, and you wedge the nose into the bank of the river.

Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại. Jump out and haul the sh the the little the little rowboat up onto the sand. Pull it off to make sure it doesn't drift away and put the oars on the inside. Great, you step out onto the sand of this this wonderful tropical island. The beach is is is beautiful white.

fine sand all along it. You can see little crabs running in and out of their holes, grabbing things as the waves are lapping up onto this beautiful pristine beach. They grab a little bit, then the water comes up and they hide back in their hole, water recedes, they come back out, grab a few more bits, and I mean this goes on. For a long time. Indefinitely, it's their life cycle. Um Just say sticky Mickey. Yeah. We could be the first two living beings.

Do you think in centuries and millennia that have landed here? As you look up the the the thirty feet of beach, um the sand turns to palm trees. Um you can hear the birds, parrots, all sorts of things squeaking away, talking to each other. You hear the odd monkey, you can see coconuts hanging from some of the trees, dropping. Um Uh there's f uh you can see up where the river is, um it quite quickly turns into a sort of a pool um at the base of a waterfall.

Um this is fresh water. Uh and then around that you you can see off to the side there are a few sort of very overgrown looking footpaths which seem to snake around the back of the waterfall and up the side of this sort of very large, like I say, a few hundred feet high um volcanic hill mountain. Right, sticky mickey. Mm-hmm. Get some of those coconuts down, if you could, for uh old Titus. He wants to probably line up. How am I gonna reach them?

I know. You can figure out the tree. You're in range with the rifle. What do you see? If you want to give it a shot, you're within two hundred um yards. Can you have him from here? Fire it! Okay, stand clear, stand clear. Christ. Okay Ross, give me a roll to hit. You aren't proficient in firearms as far as I'm aware. So it's a roll with disadvantage. It's a ten.

You've improperly loaded the rifle. You've put far too much gunpowder in the pan of the rifle, which is the bit where the flint comes down to ignite. the rifle and then fire the bullet out of the thing. So what happens when you fire? There's a very loud bang, a huge flash of light and smoke, and nothing comes out at the end. And all they hear on the beach is just firing and then just start

Pff! What I hear! And your your face is just black with the Did I get something? No! Nothing over here? Nothing! What? इड़िले इड़िले इड़िले इड़िले इड़िल Come on! You've got no idea if anything came other than a full. You're right, you're your mouth you can taste the gunpowder in your mouth. You can't hear very much now either, so your ears are ringing from using this one. It's all muffled. Uh

Let's just leave them to it. Uh I would like to check out this path. I'm invested in the history of this place. Like is it like footworn? Are people been traveling up these paths over centuries? Have they been carved out? Yes, absolutely. They're seemingly... They have been they've been worn over uh like several like millennia it seems. There there's literal this is like strong, like I say, um

metamorphic rock, you know, as in like it's it's like basalt or y uh the sort of stuff you'd get on coastlines and things like that's very dark and bobbly and sharp. Um now It's been worn to f to paths. Yes. You can't really see any signs anymore of like chiseling. It must have been formed at some point. But over a very, very long time that's smoothed out, but there's still visible contours and paths in the hill that seem to spiral upwards to the peak of the volcano.

On the ground, there are loose cobbles and things like that that signified some form of pathway, but a lot of the vegetation and like the sand and things like that have blown over the top of that pathway. So again, it just seems very old. It feels like nobody's been here in possibly hundreds of years. Man, we could name this island. This could be ours. You know? Yeah. This could also be a good place to store a lot of treasure if we ever become pirates.

This seems like the ideal location to put some cursed treasure and then send out some maps with X's on them, you know how they do. Where would we send the maps out? I don't know, it's just like the end thing to do. Like l treasure maps and all that stuff. Yeah. If we've got any XS. FIRE, he's gonna get a roll. Oh we need to roll, yeah, of course. With disadvantage.

Uh that's uh what's that, sixteen? That's a nine I can't even stick it away from here. Alright. This time rolling twice. This time, as you pull the trigger, nothing happens, right? And then the ball just And just lands on the floor in front of you.

Improperly loaded the rifle once again, but this time it didn't ignite. So all you hear is too little. Too little this time. So the ball drops onto the deck. Um you in the crow's nest? Yeah yeah. So the drops onto the wooden bit of deck in the crow's nest beneath you. Keep trying. I'll try again! Oh good! It's great! Are we safe stood this time? No, not at all. That? I might I look up.

That's gonna take a bit to get up there, isn't it? Up that path. But I do wanna see what they made this path for. Like, this is so old. And they spent the time like chiseling away at this this is hard rock here? Oh we can walk here. It could be like a pilgrimage or something. Something special at the top. It could be. Or it might just be someone's house. This is the one firing! Okay, I'm gonna start rolling out. That's even worse. Seven. Okay. Pull the trigger. It goes off.

But um it i it it fires out. This one leaves the barrel. And it skims along the water. The momentum of the bullet is literally skimming like a pebble in across. It bounces twice on the water and careens up over the beach. The bullet is now tumbling in the air with no real rifling left to it. Um and it and it hits a monkey um slow on one of the trees and these guys just hear up and a and a monkey, um like a sort of small size, about the size of a baby with a long

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Big long tail. Just drops out of a tree and is dead just next to you guys. Like pretty close, a couple of feet. You got it! That was a monkey, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, you got it. I wasn't aiming for it. Right in the head. What? There's nothing left in the head. Do you want it?

Yeah. At this point you begin to think about this is a really small isolated island. Yeah. And you haven't seen that many monkeys. You re you look at the monkey and you realize it Super inbred. Alright, this this monkey has got like three eyes. What you thought was a tail was just one of its legs that's longer than the other leg. Oh god. Does it look healthy?

Yeah. You can't see from here. You need to see it for yourself, mate, honestly. Yeah, yeah. This this is premiumly weird bushmeat. I'm coming down! Yep. I'll come down. Alright, you can come down. I'll I'll I'll um I'll pose him. Pose the corpse for him. Okay. Like a little salute. You wanna You wanted to sell it?

Okay. Do you mean we want to do him like the thinker? Oh yeah, the most thinky pose. Use his overly long leg, his one weird long leg, and like wrap it under his Yeah, I'll I'll I'll try and pose him as best I can. Okay. Should I just swim? You can I mean you're a Triton. I'm just gonna just jump from the crow's network. Yep. Do you have your rifle with you or not? It's well, maybe I should just leave it there in the crow's nest.

I probably would. Yeah, I was leaving the cross. Okay, you leave it. So you jump from the closer. Do you want to judge up in the voice, huh? Yeah. Okay, so you jumped. You jump like sixty feet. Give me a um give me an acrobatics check with advantage to clear to clear the deck. Uh sixteen is that? Plus two. Yeah. Okay, you pass. Yeah, you you you dive beautifully. You jump over and I'm focused on crafting the perfect pose. Very good. Uh you get in, um and as soon as you hit the water

Boom. You're in your own world again. Look, it's made him think. Um all around you can see kelp, you can see some rocks beneath you. There are lovely tropical fish swimming around beneath you, nothing too big. Lots of seagrass and you can see as the the the bottom of the ocean shelves up towards the the edge of the island. So do you wan do wanna swim in? I'll swim in yeah inland to meet the others. You have no problem with that. You come out, you step out and

Stomping through the surf as you come out, uh, stand up straight and make your way up the beach to meet them. Here you go And it's like the horrible mangled shocked corpse of a monkey. Just put into a hasty thinking pose. Yeah, look at him. Got his head though, being darling. Right? Head shot? And you weren't aiming for him. And it was a false head you hit. Yeah. He's really messed up, isn't he? What's been going on there? Nothing about this animal makes anatomical sense.

What do we do with this? You don't know which way up it can be. More of these? I think. That is messed up. I don't think we should eat this. You might have done the island a favour there. Oh maybe. Anyway, first one to the top is uh like King of the Captains or something. And I start running. Okay. I can't run very fast, so I'm just gonna get it. I magically trip him in some funny way? You you can try. What do you want to use? I've got uh I don't

You gotta use a spell or something. Give me an uh uh an athletics check. That's a four scene. I don't know that's gonna hurt him. It's meant to be a joke. Four. So eighteen. Yeah, I mean yeah, you're doing great. You're pff p finally get you're finally stretching your legs. You know, you've been cooped up on that ship for a little while. You're you're hammering up this hill, no problem. Um Perfect. Pee P what do you want to do?

Well I'm going as fast as I can, but I'm not as fast as it What's your athletics? Do me an athletics check. Uh that's uh 19 plus 2. Alright so so sword as you're like you've started with a head start you're moving up you you feel great this is where you're at you know when you were in the military you were running every day pretty much you're a well-conditioned being however sword

Uh Kapeepee actually somehow. You had no idea I could do this, dude. Jesus Christ! So you're you're a you're a full chock and he just Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise runs right past ya. You ex-military as well. I'll be honest. I can't believe it with all those drums you've got. I've never tried running before, but this is great. I thought I was slow. I'm just impressed, frankly. You can't head sunshine. I might just have a minor illusion that.

I'm ahead of them and then just laugh it off when they turn around. All of a sudden in front of you tight is just Swir swirls into existence, and you're like, oh, this is another stupid wizard trick, right? And he's like You run straight through him.

Just a minor illusion guys. I'm not running. He's he's won't be running. You look back over your shoulder and he's just like I'm not running. I just didn't swim for it. I'm exhausting from swimming. I was just focused on sprinting. Okay, one more straight roll between the two of you to see who wins to the top of the hill. I can't let this goddamn tautle beat me. I'm a soldier!

Twenty! 19. Oh fine! Just so close. So sword, you you see this and you think there's no way. Fuck off as Twitter's gonna beat me. No way! Is there like a ball carrying about eight musical instruments? Is there a definite end to this path? Like, I do the like the dip that you do on the running track to kinda get over the hill. He does the dip. I dip down low and my stance is like You do everything you can, K P but

Unfortunately, as you dip to try and get that last bit, you you go down. Because the wheel and you're so you collapse. Collapse on your front, sword, you just burst past him. There's no way. Right at the top, you're celebrating, you're glorious, you're triumphant. Yes, see? And then you begin to get a soldier. You begin to look around. Right. And on the top of this hill.

On the top of this very tall peak of this mountain, first of all the view is incredible. You can see out across the ocean for miles. You can see the ship docked a little way away. You can you can see fifteen miles in any direction. The beautiful aquamarine sea. Lovely. The sun shining off of it. The the clouds wispy in the distance again reflecting off of the ocean. It's a beautiful sight.

Uh you hear the sound of inbred monkeys um and birds twittering and cattering away. Um and in front of you you see something else quite striking. There are two pillars. About eight feet high. There are these two pillars with a with about an eight feet gap in between them. They're cylindrical, and on them. You look and there's details of of of hundreds of series of numbers and symbols. So these are longitude what you you know to be sort of longitudes and latitudes.

Of locations on a map, right? Uh give me uh either a history or an a carna check, which other one you best at. This is pretty sophisticated considering it's super old. I got a nineteen there plus my history as three. Very good. So you know that this is something called well it's called several things, but among other things. Known as a heavenly way gate. Or a golden bridge.

Now these are essentially teleportation sites. These are used and very much coveted by the Church of the Three-Pointed Star. These these gates, these these golden bridges are um essentially if you know the right way to work it. You they they will they'll fling you great distances. We're talking thousands of miles, okay? So what they are they're coveted by the church because the church makes the majority of its money by controlling these gates.

The church believes and spreads the doctrine that these gates were given to them, bestowed upon them, by their God Triangulus. Okay, so Triangulus is um is a god of exploration, of discovery, of of charting, of cartography. Right. And and they believe that these holy gates were given to them by their god. And they control and charge for the use of them. These are dotted throughout the globe, throughout the world, in in in certain places. You also know.

That their location and the information of their location can be sold to the church for huge amounts of money. So this is essentially one of those gates that you found. Sticky Mickey. Get up. Get up. Oh, you come over in the room. Good run. Good run. You have me at the end there. What's the what is it? It's better than I could have ever imagined. What is it? You don't know what these two pillars are? I got a thing I gotta say, sword. This right here is money.

Lots and lots of religious money. Religious money? How's that different to normal money? Well, that they'd line their pockets and they could Pay an incredible sum. What are you doing at this point? I'm still still catching up. You're catching up. I'm still just but yeah, I'm guessing that's- You've gone up the path. So at this point, yeah, you come up as they're explaining what it is. Um Ross, do me an arcana check.

Okay. Oh, what's that? Seven and a three? So ten. Ten. Okay. Yeah. So Ross m uh Titus might be able to crudely use this gate. You you know you you know roughly what it is as well. You've heard about them. They're they're under some of them under the sea. Like there's one at the Royal Court, uh not your house, but the Royal Court of the Undersea folk. They have one because that's how they do l a lot of their sort of meetings and things like that with um the the sort of landed nations.

Um yeah, essentially this is this is a gate and you you you basically touch the longitudes and latitudes you want and that links with other existing gates. You step through it. And in the blink of an eye, you are catapulted from one place to another. Honestly, I I can't believe we found this thing. You're almost certain that this is you are the first people here in a few hundred years. So there's it's a very good chance that this is an undiscovered uh heavenly uh cake.

Yeah, I update the guys on all this information that I know. Based on that alone. Also, I'm pretty uh our kinda proficient. Oh of course you want to know how to work things, exactly. I might get out of my little tinkering box and start like taking some measurements and things and like reading the latitude and longitude and seeing if the give me an Arcana check as well. Sure.

Oh 19 plus five, so 24. Okay, so as you're looking at the these two ornate pillars, and they are beautiful, you know, they're wrought from a a stone that seems Um they like I say are very detailed um sculptures of symbols and numbers and all sorts of things all the way around these lovely uh cylindrical um pillars. You think that you s you sort of you're looking and you sort of notice a few

of these sort of numbers and and you recognize a few of them. And you think that maybe if you Placed your hands on them. Touch them in the right order, then something might happen. Do you want to try? Boys, just saying. I think I've got a pretty good grasp of this. I've seen these being used in the wrong way before. You have? You need to make sure what you what you're touching, you know what you're touching.

Pr I've got a pretty good idea that these symbols here and this these down here on this pillar, if I just touch them really quickly. Something will happen. Well yeah, but and also I the other thing I was thinking about while I was beating you at the running You can run? I can apparently I can run. I can read at it as well. You put up a good fight. That's shocking. I did win. That's a good one. And then I just wanted to know I won. Really narrowly. Nevertheless, I was thinking.

While the crew is dismissed, the ship's not going anywhere. You're right. I didn't think it's a good we're not really on the timeline at all. We just not have the crew. They're frozen in place. And they'll have no idea how they're anchored on this ship, which an island that no one knows about, we can just teleport around. They'll have no idea how long we've been gone.

No. What is now something else you know about these gates is you need to know the address of the gate to get to it. Right? So for example, you could you could port from this gate.

to another gate. But I need to know. You need to know. But but luckily the addresses of these gates are on them. At the base of the pedestals of these gates. On either side you've got the left number and the right number. And as long as you make a note of that, you can put that into other gates and come back through it.

This is advantageous because you could port to a known gate. Yeah. And then port back to yours as long as nobody else knows where you went. Can I make a specific check to see if we've got the location of this gate on this? Yes. Yeah, so so at the base of because you know how these roughly work. Yeah.

You know that the there's a number at the base of the left pillar and a base of the right pillar. Um and you can just yeah, let's say you make a note, let's say that they're one, three, three, seven and sixty-nine, sixty nine. Um And essentially you now know this gate and you can port to it from other gates. I will say that most other gates are heavily controlled by the church. So imagine security in an airport. Soar situation.

Alright, so because th they they charge. I mean it's an incredibly advantageous thing to be able to jump distances in such a short amount of time. So they charge a a great deal to use these gates. Um but I mean you know, once you're through it, if they don't know the address, how are they gonna catch you? Could we be worried that these monkeys came through the gates, which is why they've turned the way that they have?

Or so Titus is developing a theory here about the origin of species. And their heads on their asses and their asses on their heads. What if they came through these? Because we're saying I know a lot about all this. What does happen to us to get from A to B? Like do are we it's teleportation magic, yeah but it's a very simple concept. Am I literally moved as me or as Titus is worried about. He's talking absolute nonsense.

And you'll be rebuilt once again on the other side. But what if they get the recipe of me rolling on the other thing? Think of it like that building. Who's comforting? Who are you talking about? I don't know how this works, but this thing, what if it doesn't quite you know, what if it glitches or something? Let me ray uh let me put a few theories to rest.

First of all, these monkeys fucked each other into oblivion. That's why they're so messed up. I don't believe you. Which means they're not smart enough to come or go through a telecom. I spent years training in the arcane arts. artificing and all the like just to be able to crudely read these things. Have you read one? I don't think a monkey with a vestigial head is gonna understand these. Have you actually been through one before? No. But I've read about'em. Right.

I'll happily uh entertain your idea of going through this. But you go through first and then come back. Well let's see if I can even activate it first. And also I'll get your rifle and I'll get your stabbers ready just in case. We don't know what's on the other side. Back to the ship. So yeah, I will uh try and press them. Press them. You press two of the things. Yeah, here and uh Yeah, that one. And uh in front of you

A sort of golden tear occurs. Whoa! So there's a there's a a sort of drop of light. that drops from the top in the center of the two pillars is just open air right now, but then there's a drop of bright light that falls to the base and then sort of tears open. And in front of you is just an overwhelmingly bright light. You can't see anything. It's a little bit like looking directly into the sun. Okay.

It's very, very bright. I think it works. In order to traverse, you you need to step through that. Walk into it backwards. Save your final eye. Alright, I hold my shark talisman. You've got the shark talisman. Just in case I end up underwater, that could be shark infected. Uh and I close my one working eye and step through backwards through the gate. You step through, uh light envelops your vision. You are boys! You are propelled, so you see. So this this isn't like a

Teleport and instantly you're there somewhere. You experience the flight. Do we see this? From you don't see them though, don't you just see him? He he falls through the light and disappears. And then as he disappears, the light closes around him as well. Just shw. Does the gate deactivate? Closes, shuts down, right? That's gonna finish him. He is then catapulted across the oceans. You are Literally like it feels like you're flying almost. You see land, ships, ocean, thousands of miles of ocean.

just disappear beneath you. It's just you're flying over it really, really quickly. A couple of seconds pass and then sh um give me a acrobatics check. Twelve thirteen plus I think two. So fifteen plus one. So um all of a sudden, after feeling this th this feeling of just like traveling like incredibly quickly above almost above the earth, like yeah as you look down abon upon it

Everything suddenly slows and sort of compresses and backs up into a realistic sort of like travel speed for you. You know, your brain starts to understand it, it's like zzz and you appear, you you you land on your feet in a roll, out onto some sand. And you look up and you're on a small island again, but around you are humanoid looking

Giant shark people. Oh I'm clutching. I mean one of them's got some glasses on. Big, these are huge. I mean they're th the top bodies are essentially the bodies of sharks with huge hench arms. And then they've got humanoid legs beneath them. And you know these are these are erased by people called the Celicae. And they are not uncommon. You've seen them before. They are one of many in the Thousand Tooth aisle of sort of like these sort of hybrid animal humanoid diet species. Street sharks.

Street shots fine. But this one in particular sort of looks over a sort of large tall wooden plinth and sort of uh looks over and sees that you sort of come out of the gate. The gate's to his right. Ooh, what? What are you doing here then? Friend or foe. Alright, I put away my this is not a shark, it's English. Is it what language does it speak? He's speaking in English. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I mean no arm. We didn't have anyone scheduled to come through it. No. Uh

I've got a couple mates that need to come through. Is it right if we travel back? Yeah, I guess so. Do you know where you're going? Yeah, yeah, yeah, here! Where are your mates? Well they're on the other side. But I forgot to give them the uh location. This is all highly irregular. Yeah, it's a bit weird isn't it, but uh orders are orders.

Okay. Well, I think we might need to talk to a superior or something for a moment, and he sort of starts going to looks to sort of call in some security and stuff like that. But the y from a brief glance, it's sort of getting dark here. It's the evening here. It's not anywhere near as light as it was where you came from.

And um you can tell that this is quite a busy industrial shipping port. Um, mainly all wood construction, not a huge amount of concrete. It's a small island, but you can tell a lot of trade goes on here. Uh there's live animals in in big wooden cages. Um there's lots of people moving around. Um and yeah, this is an official, this is clearly a church official gate monitor. Yeah, I'm running back to the uh two pillars and I've got one. Oi! 696. Uh you press it and then you fucking!

Boy! Where are you going? And then uh well you jump back through the gate. Two months fingers the last two things they see. You roll back through it, the gate closes behind you, leaving no trace of where you came from. God I forgot about this bit! They don't have the feature. And you are once again

Catapulted across the globe. You feel like you even feel the curvature of the globe that you're traveling with. Wow, I really go. You're traveling at least a thousand miles, right? Time is passing for me and Titus because we just so we're just sat there I'm like Trying to gaze into it. So we don't even have time to be like, Well he's taking a while and like it's it's the amount of time that he's experiencing you've experienced. So like yeah, you're literally I can imagine

Titus is there, like, why the hell does this work there? And as you're doing this, he's gonna get that golden drop falls down and then You hear that voice, echoing distance, getting closer and closer and closer. Um yeah, until Saw just pops out. Give me another acrobatics check. Natural 20. I shit you not. You come out, land on your feet, and you almost step and stride out. Three point landing. Yeah. Boom. Hero landing, exactly. There we go, and you can explain what you did?

What was that? Um holy crap. Would not recommend. Um. Actually no, no, it's it's really worth it. But um Did you get messed up? The coordinates I put in took me on like the other side of the world. No, I didn't wait myself. It took me to like a super built up, very busy city full of street sharks. Oh street sharks. They're also called Selecai. Selecai. You've seen those before? I d I don't think I have sharp people. Yeah, they're nice. They should be nice people if you have a very day.

Heavily, heavily in with the three-pointer star. Oh. So uh yeah, that was heavily guarded and they instantly knew that something was wrong. So I won't be going back to the book. Not to do not go to these ones. Yeah. So you know that like, you know, that particular make up whatever numbers you want, but basically it's the shark people's like trading port. Yeah, I've got those down and also got the return address of this one.

So uh yeah, we could we could try out some new places if you want. Are we I'm just a bit worried. When you went through, yeah, the gate switched off. Yeah, it's a one at a time sort of a thing. If we are you gonna have to be the last one through? Are we able to turn it on? If you hold hands you can go through together. We can hold hands and go through together. Who knows that? Does gotta be in contact. Who knows that? Does he know that? Most of it. Okay.

Yeah, if you if you uh tether to me in some way, you gotta make sure you hold hands is usually the easiest way. Yeah. Uh so what I'll do, link arms. I'll uh I'll teach one of you the second coordinate. So I put my left hand on here, hold

one of your hands and then you hold his hand and then his other hand is gonna touch the other pillar and then we can all go through. Do we have to do that? You gotta be careful when you don't end up one end and then well somebody's laughing the chain on the other end though'cause bad things can happen. Why don't we just hug in a three way hug?

Yeah and then make sure they touch the things and then barrel through. Just barrel through. Also, by the way, you can have like an operator just do it. That's how the church does it. So the church has operators that don't go through with you. So they'll operate the gate. And then stop when everyone's gone through. But because you guys are doing like a one way trip style thing a lot of the time, then yeah, you're gonna have to I just wanna make it abundantly clear, boys. Yeah. Yeah. This is

Like coming across a world wonder. Oh. We have at our disposal a secret gate that can teleport us to different places in the world. Do we know where we're going? No, but We can figure that out. And if we do a quick in and out, no one will get us'cause they don't know the return location. Well you got back in like less than a second, that's really quick.

So you I've gotta teach you the return code in case one of you has to emergency get back. Right. Maybe carve it into We'll carve it into a shell. I'll put it on the back of it on the back or a shell there. But I'll do it. Why? Sixty nine sixty nine on the back of your shelf. You don't feel it, do you?

Yes. I just go easy on it. Alright, I'll make it nice. This is the only shell I get. I can't. One, three, three, seven. Do not put a crack in it. They're very fragile when they're not. Sixty nine and sixty nine underneath the hell. How big are you making those? Uh You've done it nice and small, right? It's quite big. It's quite big. It's sizable. Tough one to explain. I can't see my own shell.

It's one of the things about being a tautle. That's a good point, you're not gonna know the colour. How is my pattern, by the way? No one's ever told me. You're not deep faced it. It's very symmetrical. Yeah? I managed to put one of the each of the numbers in its own little segment. Yeah. That big. So every time you go anywhere, by the way, some people might recognise that as a gate code. Just so you're aware. You might need a uh a shelf gate. Just cover up that code.

Well why did you make it so big? No one wanna look at my shell and realize that's a gate code. Oh my gosh. How regular are these gates? I've never seen it. So as you guys are describing this, the camera zooms out. And leaves you discussing. Now you've discovered this heavenly gate, or this golden bridge as some people call it. Um we'll stop here. Uh this uh is gonna be the end of this particular part two of session one.

Uh we'll be coming back next Wednesday, same time, um and on on on YouTube eventually. Uh we hope you've enjoyed this. Uh you guys need to think about what you're gonna do next. I'll think about what the hell I'm gonna do next with you. Um The world is our oyster. The world is your terrifying oyster. We could do anything there. I mean you could do serious scientific medical research into why these monkeys are so fucked up. Who knows? Certainly I'm

I don't know what's going on with those videos. Let's settle here. Let's just settle down. But yeah, I hope you guys uh watching enjoyed that. If you want to tune in live and watch us live, of course these videos that come out on YouTube are coming out after the fact, but if you want to catch it live. it live twitch.tv slash hat films, that's the place to be. And we really do appreciate all the subscriptions coming in and the likes.

Uh and we hope to do more for you. This should be coming out in podcast form as well, uh once I get my act together and get that sorted out. Uh so yeah, we should have an audio version of this too, so you can listen and try to imagine the poor descriptions that I sometimes give of physical objects. That's been pretty good. Alright, thanks for watching everybody, and we'll see you next time on booty. High C's, low expectations.