Everyone, It's Cali here for this week's Mojo Monday. How often do you doubt yourself in social situations? So have you ever walked away from a conversation and later found yourself kind of overthinking what you did or you didn't say, so things like, you know, did I make sense? Why did I say that? I should have explained that better? And I was reflecting on this recently and I realized
something about myself. Sometimes I feel kind of a subtle pressure to show up as my best version of myself in conversations, to say the right thing, to be articulate, to be interesting, or even to be funny. And when I don't feel that I've done that, my mind can start this little review process, you know, questioning what I said and wondering what other people thought of me. And what's intro is that these really happens when I'm working with clients or recording this podcast, or even when I'm
in the gym. In those moments, I'm really clear on my role. And you might notice something similar in your own life. When there's clarity about what you're doing, there's often this kind of steadiness that comes with it. But most conversations in life aren't like that. They're messy. I can be messy, you know. People interrupt each other, thoughts come out as half formed sentences, and stories go off
in tangents, and that's kind of just human communication. Yet our minds often expect us to be clear and funny and insightful and articulate on demands, and heaven forbid if the topic shifts to something that we don't know much about, that's when our inner critic can really pipe up. But these are impossible standards that we set for ourselves. In Japanese psychology, particularly Marida therapy, there's this idea that can
be really helpful. Here. Instead of getting caught up trying to manage our thoughts or silent this inner critic, the focus shifts to purposeful action. So rather than asking ourselves, gosh, did I say the right thing, a more useful question might be was I genuinely engaged with the person in front of me? Because connection rarely comes from perfectly articulated sentences, and it doesn't come from being internally focused on how
we're performing. It comes from something much simpler. It comes from curiosity, from presence, from interest in the other person, and when our attention moves there, something really interesting happens. That inner critic tends to quieten down, not because we've got rid of it, we know that's impossible, but because
we're no longer fueling it with our attention. Our focus is outward, and then conversations begin to flow more naturally, not because we've mastered the art of saying the perfect thing, but because we stop trying to so hard to perform, which can be exhausting. So if you catch yourself this week replaying a conversation and wondering if you've said the right thing, just remember most people aren't analyzing your words
nearly as much as you think. They're usually busy wondering if they've said the right thing too, So this week, try shifting your attention outward, be curious about the person in front of you, and you might just find the conversation flows a lot more easily. So have a great week everyone, I'll see you next Monday. Bye,