Hey everyone, it's Cali here and welcome to this week's Mojo Monday. So some of us are naturally giving people. Where the rock that keeps others steady, the one people call when things aren't going well. We're there to pull them out of the weeds and to lift their mood, to drive them to appointments, to help with the kids, to listen, to support, to offer advice. So we are the helpers, and often this comes naturally. It can actually make for a very deeply meaningful and rewarding life. It
is good to help others. It's good that our focus isn't always on our selves. In fact, constant self focus attention can lead to anxiety and rumination and a life of complaint. But there is another side to this. Those who are natural helpers often disregard themselves to the point where their own health starts to suffer. And I'm wondering whether that sounds familiar to you, whether it's for you or somebody that you know. You're looking after everyone else,
but not yourself. You're the one who always says yes, and if that resonates, here are a few questions worth asking yourself when you say yes to everything? Why are you saying yes. Is it because you genuinely want to help with no other reason, or if you're really honest with yourself, is there something else there that's true? If you said no because you were busy, because you had a lot on your plate, because your health is suffering,
what do you think would actually happen? Because quite often we say yes not from generosity, but from guilt, and that matters because it means we're not really choosing to put others first. We're allowing guilt to be the compass that drives our decisions, and guilty isn't always a reliable guide. There's another way to look at it. Every time you say yes to someone, you're saying no to something else,
your health, your energy, your time, your sanity. And this is where it gets a bit tricky because often these decisions sit at these crossroads of competing values. So on one hand, you do value helping others, you genuinely do want to help, But on the other hand, you also value your health, your well being, your commitments to yourself, and both of those matter, But in the moment, we often choose the easier option. We say yes to avoid the discomfort of
guilt or awkwardness or letting someone down. It feels better right now, but what is the long term impact. It can build to resentment, exhaust burn out, and slowly you move further away from the very things that keep you well. And more often than not, people understand that you have other priorities. If you said, I would really love to help, but I've committed to going to the gym and that is really important to me right now, most people, especially
those close to you, would respect that. And if they don't, because not everybody will, that's okay too, because you can't control their response. You can only control yours, not just to them, but to the feeling of guilt that shows up. You see, guilt will appear because you care. It's reflection of your values, your desire to support others. But just because it shows up doesn't mean it should decide your actions.
Sometimes you have to choose the discomfort of putting yourself first, and that discomfort might feel strong in the moment, but it won't last forever. What does last is the benefit of looking after yourself, having the energy, the capacity, the health to keep showing up for the people who matter. So you get to choose. You can let guilt, run the show and say yes to everybody and everything, or you can acknowledge it and carry it with you and
still choose to say no respectfully and with empathy. Because the truth is, if you don't look after yourself, there will come a point where you can't look after anyone else, and that is not what you want. This isn't about becoming less giving, it's not about turning your back on others.
It's about balance. So be the generous supporting person that you are, and at the same time make space to look after your own health, your own energy, and your own commitments, because that that's what allows you to keep showing up, not just today, but long into the future. So thanks for joining me this week and I will catch you next week. See ya.