Meet Elizabeth Melendez Author. Advocate. CEO/Founder of the Foundation United Org. She was sexually abused by a family friend at age 11, though saw that physical, emotional and sexual abuse was happening throughout her family from a very young age, she feels this was ‘generational’ rather than ‘intentional abuse’. To reach Elizabeth: https://www.thefoundationunited.com/ , or on Instagram: @thefoundationunited HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz . Help...
Jan 28, 2025•39 min
Don't make any new year resolutions, instead reflect on what you have achieved over the last 12 months and honour that. You may consider growing that skillset further or adding to it, but at this time of year, recovering from Xmas and the holiday season is challenging enough. Don’t pressure yourself by making impossible goals that are unlikely to be achieved. We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheShameBack Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handingt...
Jan 21, 2025•5 min
We are bringing you this update due to the generous and much appreciated response to our video asking for help to get the book ‘Keeping Kids Safe - A Roadmap for Parents, Teachers & Others’ into schools. We have the funding to provide the books, just not to post them! So far we have raised over $700, which is an amazing 70 schools. Remember that $10 ensures a book gets into a school of your choice. thank you and what a great legacy for you to have. You may just save some kids! We are on all ...
Jan 16, 2025•8 min
We are seeking sponsors so we can distribute the book 'Keeping Kids Safe' to every school in NZ. We have the books funded, just not the distribution costs. If you are able to help, simply visit http://gloriamasters.com , click the 'Donate' button, or use this direct link: https://buy.stripe.com/8wMg0Y1OqdTc1vG4gh . Please include reference 'Book Distribution' to ensure the funds are allocated to processing and postage. Every $10 means one school receives a copy of the book! By making a donation,...
Jan 16, 2025•2 min
Meet Avery Kearney Survivor. Advocate. Non-profit worker in the health sector. Avery is a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of his uncle from the age of 8. The grooming process went on for years prior, and much of his abuse was tied into athletics and masked as massages and stretching to increase his athletic performance. The abuse went on for a few years. To reach Avery, email: kearneywjj@gmail.com , or Instagram: @averykearney HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, suppo...
Jan 14, 2025•45 min
Welcome back to Louise Nicholas and Ken Clearwater who join me on the this panel, to discuss all things Survivors experience throughout the Xmas season. We need to honour survivors through this time of year, and I couldn't think of anyone better to bring back to share this important messaging with. We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheShameBack Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handingtheshameback/ X: https://x.com/HandinShameBack YouTube: https:/...
Dec 17, 2024•52 min
Here is our Xmas Message from the Board at Handing the Shame Back Foundation, to all the amazing survivors, supporters and sponsors we have. Thank you so much, and from all of us, Merry Xmas to you. We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheShameBack Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handingtheshameback/ X: https://x.com/HandinShameBack YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@handingtheshameback TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@handingshameback LinkedIn: http...
Dec 10, 2024•4 min
It’s Christmas. Getting through Christmas, can be an overwhelming ask for us as survivors. While many people experience joy and celebration during this time, we can feel the opposite through difficult emotions, painful memories, and feelings of isolation surfacing. Here’s some ideas that may just help. Love to all of you. ► Visit our website for more information on our foundation: https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ ► Donate please, this helps us keep going: http://handingtheshameback.org/donat...
Dec 03, 2024•5 min
This time of year can be difficult when trying to manage end of year events, Xmas interactions and school concerts. Try to find time to ground yourself by remembering to reflect on you, what you have managed to achieve and the incredible survivor you are. It should be about you, not just those you love. We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheShameBack Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handingtheshameback/ X: https://x.com/HandinShameBack YouTube: ht...
Nov 26, 2024•2 min
Deb Aldrick Author. Speaker. Advocate Deb was abused from 5 - 14 by a family member while another family member did nothing to protect her. Pre-abuse she was happy and confident, and enjoyed life with lots of friends. Post-abuse she became anxious and a worrier. To reach Deb go to: https://dragonflyadvocacy.com.au/ or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/dragonflyadvocacy/ or Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dragonflyadvocacy3/ or LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborah-aldrick-188b4530b/ L...
Nov 12, 2024•50 min•Season 6Ep. 42
Meet Raymond Lum Survivor and Film Producer As a young boy, he was sexually abused by their female live in nanny for years. When he eventually told his father the response was ‘Look out for your brother’. To reach Raymond go to: https://www.facebook.com/sting16 or https://www.instagram.com/raymondtlum/ HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz . Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Larg...
Nov 05, 2024•38 min•Season 6Ep. 41
As survivors of child sexual abuse, it is widely accepted that we were controlled through grooming simply so the abuser could exploit us. What is less discussed is the coercive control that lay underneath all of it. What that meant (for some of us), is that we weren’t just controlled through sexual abuse, there was also the emotional and physical manipulation as well. How that impacted us was we had no opportunity to live or behave in a way that was truly ours. We are on all social media platfor...
Oct 31, 2024•5 min•Season 6Ep. 40
Be aware if you are deciding on how to confront your abuser, your emotions will be running at an all time high, and therefore deciding on something of this importance may not serve you - Yet! It will in time, but maybe just not today. Because this is of such huge significance, please allow yourself further clarity of thought as the last thing you need is to regret your decision later. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation Donate please, this helps us keep going. ha...
Oct 23, 2024•5 min
Meet Kel Humphries Survivor. Advocate. Speaker. Researcher. She was abused by her Uncle between ages 7 - 8, and recognises the grooming for what it was. He knew exactly what he was doing, her parents had no idea. For more on her reach out to her at kellyhumphries.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support for adult survivors of...
Oct 20, 2024•23 min•Season 6Ep. 38
Losing your voice As children being abused we couldn't speak, because our brain froze. This is a trauma response, and just so you know: when your brain is flooded with cortizal there is no way you can speak, as this is a chemical reaction which cannot be controlled. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #letssavesomekids We are on al...
Oct 17, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 56
Gloria returns to Shaun’s platform to discuss the impact of CSA on survivors in light of the current media storm around P Diddy. She shares her story and offers insight and ideas into how to combat this to protect our children. For more on her go to handingtheshameback.org and gloriamasters.com All links to her books can be found there in all versions as well as on amazon. https://gloriamasters.com/shop/ https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ https://gloriamasters.com/ #gloriamastersauthor #letssa...
Oct 16, 2024•1 hr 35 min
Meet Kel Humphries Survivor. Advocate. Speaker. Researcher. She was abused by her Uncle between ages 7 -8, and now realises her parents were the ones being groomed. At age 12 her mother asked her directly if she had been abused, but she couldn't speak. For more on her reach out to her at kellyhumphries.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ L...
Oct 13, 2024•25 min•Season 6Ep. 37
Negative self talk It is more common than not for your survivor to put themselves down and talk about themselves negatively. This is part of, or a consequence of the abuse suffered as children. Listen for ways to contradict their self talk. Sometimes simply challenging something can change it. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #l...
Oct 10, 2024•2 min
Uipo Tagaloasa Part 2 Was born and raised in Samoa without his father, who had passed away before he was born. He has 11 siblings, and was raised by grandparents. He was abused from the age of 9 by a really close family friend. As he was working through his trauma, he considered shooting his abuser and then realised it would really only punish him and his family unnecessarily. To contact him, please use the links below to his Break The Cycle from Past Trauma FB and Instagram pages. https://www.f...
Oct 06, 2024•31 min•Season 6Ep. 36
Needing love As children being abused we were looking for some love from those tasked with caring for us. We were children, with needs not being met, and yet through the abuser manipulating us and providing comfort , we may have felt we were complicit somehow. They were in charge, we weren't. Love that little child inside. https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1907499/episodesGo to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or support...
Oct 03, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 55
Uipo Tagaloasa Was born and raised in Samoa without his father, who had passed away before he was born. He has 11 siblings, and was raised by grandparents. He was abused from the age of 9 by a really close family friend, who was helping his family out with things. He also played rugby with him. To contact him, please use the links below to his Break The Cycle from Past Trauma FB and Instagram pages. https://www.facebook.com/UipoTagaloasa?mibextid=ZbWKwL or on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/...
Sep 30, 2024•28 min•Season 6Ep. 35
Sometimes it can all feel a bit much when trying to work your way through the trauma the abuse created. Sometimes it feels easier to just give up working on this, and just pretend you are okay with how it is. Please don't do that. Never give up, the rewards you receive are insurmountable. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation Donate please, this helps us keep going. handingtheshameback.org/donate ADDITIONAL RESOURCE If you are looking for coaching whether survivor ...
Sep 25, 2024•5 min
Meet Janet Jacobsen Grandmother, wife, mother, football lover and survivor. Janet's story continues. You can reach out to her on Facebook as Janet Jacobsen and on Instagram as https://www.instagram.com/gdadnansjj/ HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support for adult survivors of child sexual abuse UK NAPAK https://napac.org.uk/ Sup...
Sep 22, 2024•28 min•Season 6Ep. 34
Even though you may feel that you should take other's advice on what action you should take regarding the abuse you suffered: like (for example), forgive your abuser, or just move on with your life: The reality is you must do what resonates with you, in other words: You do You. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #ibelievesurvivors #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids...
Sep 18, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 58
Meet Janet Jacobsen Grandmother, wife, mother, football lover and survivor. Janet was abused by a doctor while her father was dying. she also had a local shopkeeper do the same. Her call to action was on hearing of the death of the doctor. Don't miss this survivors incredible story of courage and overcoming. You can reach out to her on Facebook as Janet Jacobsen and on Instagram as https://www.instagram.com/gdadnansjj/ HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.n...
Sep 15, 2024•28 min•Season 6Ep. 33
Resolution Options Because we are all different, so are our views on how to get resolution regarding our abuse. For some of us it may be finding forgiveness, for others it may be confronting the abuser. Whatever you need to do to find peace is the key. Trust how you feel and go from there. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #ibelievesurvivors #handingthe...
Sep 11, 2024•2 min
Gloria talks about her life story. What she experienced and what led her to do the work she does on Handing the Shame Back.HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support for adult survivors of child sexual abuse UK NAPAK https://napac.org.uk/ Supporting recovery from childhood abuse AUSTRALIA Blue Knot Foundation - https://blueknot.org...
Sep 08, 2024•29 min•Season 6Ep. 32
Never Give Up Even tho it can feel tough at times, please keep going on your individual survivor path. That could be making sense of what happened to you, or convincing people how hard it is some days etc. You so deserve to get what you need: The simple message being, Never Give up. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #letssavesomekidss #handingtheshameback #handsign...
Sep 04, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 57
Meet Three incredible survivors of Abuse in Care. Malcolm Justice. Phill Ashworth and Neil Harding. Their stories will move you. For more on this please watch the entire video. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support for adult survivors of child sexual abuse UK NAPAK https://napac.org.uk/ Supporting recovery from childhood abuse...
Sep 01, 2024•1 hr•Season 6Ep. 31
Every wonder why you struggle with certain areas in your life? This could be anything: Confidence, speaking up, relationships, even food. I liken it to a puzzle with missing pieces, because underlying those struggles will be a connection between them and your childhood abuse. Have a listen, you may just solve your own puzzle. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation Donate please, this helps us keep going. handingtheshameback.org/donate ADDITIONAL RESOURCE If you are ...
Aug 28, 2024•5 min
