Meet Heidi Olson Forensic nurse. Business owner. Coffee lover and outdoor enthusiast. She was first abused at 2 years of age, and experienced several instances over the years with different abusers. She looks at the link between early child abuse and the risky behaviour she engaged in as a young adult, when she felt broken, and in self destruct mode. You can reach out to Heidi at www.paradigmshifttc.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland...
Aug 25, 2024•26 min•Season 6Ep. 30
Purity If you are a survivor who emerged from a strict religious sect or background, you are not alone. The conditioning around purity, virginity and innocence was intense. The message was clear, purity was everything, anything else was dirty, sinful and evil. As a survivor of abuse, please know your heart and soul was pure, has been pure and is still pure. You were innocent. The rest is just noise. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coachin...
Aug 21, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 54
Meet Heidi Olson Forensic nurse. Business owner. Coffee lover and outdoor enthusiast. Heidi did not feel seen growing up. She was first abused at 2 years of age, and experienced several instances over the years with different abusers. She believes this (in part), occurred because of the ongoing and unresolved intergenerational trauma her parents experienced. You can reach out to Heidi at www.paradigmshifttc.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help ...
Aug 18, 2024•28 min•Season 6Ep. 29
Self Esteem When you know your survivor is not feeling good through the way they are behaving or the words they are using, through not validating themselves or putting themselves down, please counteract this, as this gives them an opportunity to make the link between their behaviour and the childhood relationships they had, where they were not valued. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. http...
Aug 14, 2024•2 min
Meet Allen Goodall He is a Survivor, training to be a peer support worker and runs mens support groups. He experienced sexual abuse beginning at age of 3. He eventually recognised that the fear of public speaking/panic attacks was linked to the abuse as in he was threatened to keep silent in many ways. He now speaks out! You can reach out to Allen at allgoodie011@outlook.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivor...
Aug 11, 2024•26 min•Season 6Ep. 28
Connecting the Dots Making sense of behaviour we use as adults that we know doesn't serve us is hard, but there will be a connection to the past in there. We can often unknowingly replicate our childhood conditioning. The tip is look at the behaviour now that doesn't serve or work for you: Using a therapist, track it back to your childhood. I promise you there will be a connection. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor...
Aug 07, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 53
Meet Allen Goodall He is a Survivor, training to be a peer support worker and runs mens support groups. He experienced sexual abuse from the age of 3 and was threatened about ever speaking out. He now does so fully and freely due to the want and desire to end the demons, and to give other men some hope. You can reach out to Allen at allgoodie011@outlook.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freeph...
Aug 04, 2024•26 min•Season 6Ep. 27
Your memories emerging when your child turn the same age you were when the abuse began is much more common than you may imagine. It is also frightening. Triggers are released and it can feel the nightmare is happening all over again. This is even more so when your child is the same gender you are. There is a way through this, have a listen to how it is possible. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation Donate please, this helps us keep going. handingtheshameback.org/d...
Jul 28, 2024•5 min
Meet Justine Dean Coach, Mentor, Confidante From the age of 3, Justine experienced many abusers throughout her childhood and teenage years. Her mother seemed unable to support her through this. When Justine was 5 years old and being molested by her 12 year old male neighbour, her mother screamed at her; 'What did you do?' Don't miss this profound interview. You can reach out to Justine at Justinedean.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Aucklan...
Jul 21, 2024•25 min•Season 6Ep. 25
What about me? If you are the child of a narcissistic parent, it would have been almost impossible to be given any space, comfort or protection. There was no room for you as this child. You had to take on another role to have a connection with them. Listen to the full clip to understand where to from here. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #ibelievesurvivors #handi...
Jul 17, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 52
Meet Justine Dean Coach, Mentor, Confidante Justine experienced many abusers throughout her childhood and adolesence. You can reach out to Justine at Justinedean.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support for adult survivors of child sexual abuse UK NAPAK https://napac.org.uk/ Supporting recovery from childhood abuse AUSTRALIA ...
Jul 14, 2024•27 min•Season 6Ep. 24
Healthy Bonds Your survivor having healthy and transparent relationships is of course, optimum. When this is not so, you will see their behaviour change in order to be accepted. This is a form of toxic bonding: arising from the abuse, and their needs not being met as children. (All you need to do is gently point it out, and let them know you have their back) Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporte...
Jul 10, 2024•2 min
Meet John Cardamone He is a Survivor, Educator, and Speaker from Victoria in Melbourne. When he was between 6-7 years old he was abused by a family member. When his son became that age, John became really anxious and concerned about his safety and eventually recognised he was being triggered by his own history of abuse. You can reach John on: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-cardamone-86632738/ https://www.instagram.com/john_cardamone/ https://www.facebook.com/john.cardamone HELP NZ Sexual Harm ...
Jul 07, 2024•23 min•Season 6Ep. 23
Triggered by children This is very common for parents who are survivors. When our children (of the same sex as us) turn the age we were when the abuse began, the amount of triggering this results in is almost indescribable. Memories start to flood in and become overwhelming. This is vindication and validation of what you went through. Try to protect the part of you that has emerged with the recall. Go to our website for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching...
Jul 04, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 51
Meet John Cardamone He is a Survivor, Educator, and Speaker from Victoria in Melbourne. When he was between 6-7 years old he was abused by a family member. When he told his mother, she believed him instantly and from that point on, he was kept safe. Looking back he sees, that his parents were groomed as well You can reach John on: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-cardamone-86632738/ https://www.instagram.com/john_cardamone/ https://www.facebook.com/john.cardamone HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 08...
Jun 30, 2024•29 min•Season 6Ep. 22
Survivors The real you was unable to withstand the abuse, so the false self stepped up to help, and is what you used to to cope with the trauma.Through your recovery, you will find that one of the biggest challenges is in both finding and reclaiming you. Although it sounds really scary, once done the power behind it will embolden you. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation Donate please, this helps us keep going. handingtheshameback.org/donate ADDITIONAL RESOURCE If...
Jun 27, 2024•5 min
Welcome to Part 2 of Jeanie Dean's interview. She is an Expert Witness | Safeguarding Safety Risk Expert | Trauma Informed Investigator and specialist interviewer and Trainer | Managing Director at Safeguarding Solutions Australia. The impact of her abuse began a healing journey leading into researching why sex offenders do what they do.This became her purpose in life. You can reach Jeanie on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanie-dean-90a46483/ HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 o...
Jun 23, 2024•28 min•Season 6Ep. 21
The real me How we had to adapt to survive our child sexual abuse and who we became as a result is not necessarily who we 'really' are. Perhaps still lurking within is that 'false' self. You may recognise that, in those situations that are especially challenging, where you default back to that small child and agree or give way. There is hope to change this. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter...
Jun 18, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 50
From Melbourne Australia, a warm welcome to Jeanie Dean, who is an Expert Witness | Safeguarding Safety Risk Expert | Trauma Informed Investigator and specialist interviewer and Trainer | Managing Director at Safeguarding Solutions Australia. She grew up in a family of violence, and was sexually abused at the age of 15 by someone known to the family. What helped her recovery was: Time, Therapy - IFS, and learning how to protect her peace and Balance. TimeYou can reach Jeanie on Linkedin: https:/...
Jun 16, 2024•29 min•Season 6Ep. 20
Encouragement Your survivor may feel weary and down at times about their history of child sexual abuse. Though expected and normal, they may need some encouragement at times. An effective way is to come up with 3 things that would help lift and shift their mood thereby giving them something else to focus on. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #ibelievesu...
Jun 12, 2024•2 min
Luke Wiersma Meet this brave Survivor who runs Leaderboard Meetings for Survivors of child sexual abuse. Luke was abused by an older woman as a teenager, and used drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. Eventually he got fed up with drinking and passing out everyday, so began using advocacy as a way to out of the vicious cycle. You can contact Luke through email on wiersmaluke33@gmail.com. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Ma...
Jun 09, 2024•20 min•Season 6Ep. 19
Self Advocacy Is one way of having your own back and looking after you The three components to this are: to understand what your needs are, to know what might help to support to those needs. and lastly to be able to communicate those needs. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #ibelievesurvivors #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids We are on all social medi...
Jun 05, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 49
Luke Wiersma Meet this brave Survivor who runs Leaderboard Meetings for Survivors of child sexual abuse. Luke was abused by an older woman when he was a teenager, he was manipulated and controlled and began using drugs as a way to cope. The abuse continued until he was 18 years of age, at which time she considered him to be too old. You can contact Luke through email on wiersmaluke33@gmail.com. HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623...
Jun 02, 2024•25 min•Season 6Ep. 18
Survivors As it wasn't safe to use your voice as a child, it can feel very important to you to use it today. Honour that within you, there is a part of you that wants to, No, needs to be heard. This will always be a subliminal desire whether you know it or not. This is also a crucial and non negotiable part of the healing process. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation Donate please, this helps us keep going. handingtheshameback.org/donate ADDITIONAL RESOURCE If you...
May 29, 2024•5 min
Brinn Langdale continued... Therapist. Speaker. Writer Abused by her brother 2 and a half years older than her, from 4 till age 15, Brinn was 18 before the truth finally came out. Her mother chose to support her brother over her, partly due to his heroin addiction. As a result, Brinn felt less supported. You can reach Brinn through the wholistic approach to healing podcast. www.brinnlangdale.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 62...
May 26, 2024•27 min•Season 6Ep. 17
Leading a double life As children who were being abused, we still had to go to school, play sport and carry on as though everything was fine. No one could know what was going on, so in essence we were leading a secret or double life. As adults this can sometimes still be present, in us. Please check in with yourself by responding to this question: Is who you are able to be authentic and genuine across all aspects of your life?? Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources avai...
May 23, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 48
Meet Brinn Langdale Therapist. Speaker. Writer Abused by her brother 2 and a half years older than her, she had thought they were best friends. The abuse began when she was 4 years old and continued till she was 15. The disclosure at age 18, was to change her life and that of her whole family. You can reach Brinn through the wholistic approach to healing podcast. www.brinnlangdale.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Mal...
May 19, 2024•20 min•Season 6Ep. 16
Holding the Space This is about you. When supporting survivors we can end up depleted or overwhelmed or even fed up. That's okay, and to be expected. Allow yourself to have some space for you, a bit of time away or some self care. EG, Playing footy, doing an art class. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you're feeling refreshed and repleted. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://...
May 15, 2024•2 min
Meet Neil Milton - Part 2 GM of Child Safe Australia, and founder of the Table Talk Project. Neil was abused by an older child at his school, which carried on from 10 to 13 years of age. He never felt he had a voice growing up, and eventually realised, later in life, that he always chose work which reflected 'looking to have his voice heard'. Don't miss this, very powerful Part 2 with Neil. You can reach out to Neil on https://www.childsafe.org.au/ HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or t...
May 12, 2024•25 min•Season 6Ep. 15
I am enough We struggle with this, because what was taken from us among other things was: pride, self-love and feelings of self worth. What arose instead was a feeling of deep lack, as in 'I am not enough'. But please note: You were always enough, You always have been enough. You are still enough. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #ibelievesurvivors #ha...
May 08, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 47
