Welcome to this Weekly update: On the show we have my blog on Being Believed, to my mind the most powerful experience a survivor can have, listen as to why this is the case. We also have my tip for supporting survivors which is on Being Believed. This has A Huge Impact on Survivors. All of this, and more can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as well as our website and social media platforms including YouTube, handingtheshameback.org and IG, FB, Twitter, TikTok and L...
Jan 28, 2024•1 min
Your Legacy This is linked to Kristi McVee's interviews held earlier this week, and listed across social media platforms. Survivors, you can end up working in environments doing the EXACT work you wish had been done when you were suffering through the worst of the abuse. Legacy's can creep in unbidden: EG One survivor not being aware she had been abused, had spent her working life involved in the investigation of children suffering sexual abuse. In a nutshell her legacy found her: Sometimes our ...
Jan 25, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 40
Welcome to Part 2 Speaker. Author. Ex-child Abuse Detective and Specialist Child Interviewer She was abused at 6, and told her grandma who immediately contacted her father. He came and got her and she was never taken back. Kristi believes that CSA is worse than murder as entire lives have been destroyed and the impact casts a shadow over the whole lifetime. Compare this with murder: once it is done, it is over and done with. You can reach her through her website at www.cape-au.com HELP NZ Sexual...
Jan 23, 2024•25 min•Season 3Ep. 55
Meet Kristi McVee Speaker. Author. Ex-child abuse detective and specialist child interviewer She was abused at 6, and told her grandma who immediately contacted her father. He came and got her and she was safe from that point on. She completely blocked her memories of this, and they only surfaced once she had left the police and her daughter turned 6. You can reach her through her website at www.cape-au.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auck...
Jan 21, 2024•25 min•Season 3Ep. 54
Welcome to this Weekly update: On the show we have Kristi McVee Speaker. Author. Ex-child abuse detective and specialist child interviewer She was abused at 6, blocked it, told grandma who told dad. He instantly removed her from the abuser's environment. Her memories surfaced once she had left the police and her daughter turned. 6. The associated survivor tip is on the Legacy we leave as survivors. All of this, and more can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as well ...
Jan 21, 2024•2 min
Being Believed This is linked to Donna Bulatowicz interviews held earlier this week, and listed across social media platforms. This is one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful experience a survivor can have. Being Believed helps to reduce the trauma because you feel vindicated and validated. It also helps decrease the shame, and encourages further disclosure, which leads to wanting to heal more fully and feel more confident about doing that. We should all be believed, it is a basic hum...
Jan 18, 2024•2 min•Season 5Ep. 39
Meet Donna Bulatowicz - Part 2 Teacher. Writer. Survivor. As a young girl, Donna was abused by another girl for several years, and then by a teacher when she was 9. In this 2nd part, Donna shares what helped her recovery and healing: Physically moving away from the area, and becoming a teacher, using writing, were part of it. She recognises that becoming the adult she most needed when she was a child, was a big healing factor for her. Her advice to survivors. Believe yourself You can reach Donna...
Jan 16, 2024•26 min•Season 3Ep. 53
Meet Donna Bulatowicz - Part 1 Teacher. Writer. Survivor. As a young girl, Donna was abused by another girl for several years, and then by a teacher when she was 9. This was to go on for 3 years. When she finally told her parents and school counsellor, she was Instantly believed. The police, however, did not believe her, the reason given: Because 'A Woman wouldn’t molest a child'! You can reach Donna through her facebook page: https://m.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100000059229875HELP NZ Sexual ...
Jan 14, 2024•23 min•Season 3Ep. 52
Welcome to this Weekly update: On the show we have Donna Bulatowicz who is a teacher, writer and survivor. She was abused by another child for several years, then again by a teacher for 3 years between the ages of 9 - 12. There are some shocking twists to this story. The associated survivor tip is on Being Believed and the impact this had on her. All of this, and more can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as well as our website and social media platforms including Y...
Jan 14, 2024•2 min
Happy New Year Everyone We haven't forgotten you! We are having a well deserved break and preparing an amazing line up for you. We will commence streaming on Monday 15th January. Don't miss out!! Love to all #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #survivors We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheShameBack Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handingtheshameback/ X: https://x.com/HandinShameBack YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@handingtheshameback TikTok:...
Jan 04, 2024•32 sec
Admitting Abuse This is linked to Stuart Lord's interviews held earlier this week, and listed across social media platforms. When an abuser admits what they did, the reaction you have may surprise you. Initially you just need to breathe, as you will be in shock: understandable, as you were conditioned to never speak of it. Please allow yourself to feel what you need to: This could be anger, sadness, relief, among others. Honour how you need to feel and be gentle with yourself. Go to our website ...
Dec 21, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 38
Meet Stuart Lord - Part 2 Survivor. Educator. Social Justice Advocate Stuart is the founder of the boy scouts survivor group of America, and from the age of 11, was abused by his Scout Leader, among others. He believes that when His abuser admitted the abuse, he felt 100 pounds lighter. What helped his recovery was largely Self-Care and Self-Compassion, and that practising it daily brought huge rewards. You can reach Stuart on https://www.drstuartlord.com https://bsasurvivors.squarespace.com/con...
Dec 19, 2023•24 min•Season 3Ep. 51
Meet Stuart Lord - Part 1 Survivor. Educator. Social Justice Advocate Stuart is the founder of the boy scouts survivor group of America, and from the age of 11, was abused by (among others) people within the boy scouts of America executive team. His main abuser eventually admitted the abuse, after decades, and what transpired next, is phenomenal. You can reach Stuart on https://www.drstuartlord.com https://bsasurvivors.squarespace.com/config/ & https://www.stuartforbvsd.com HELP NZ Sexual Ha...
Dec 17, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 50
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is Stuart Lord who is the founder of the boy scouts survivor group of America, and who was abused by (among others) people within the executive team. His main abuser eventually admitted the abuse, after decades, and what transpired next, is phenomenal. The associated survivor tip is on how to deal with a predator who Admits Abuse, can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as well as ...
Dec 17, 2023•1 min
Body Boundaries This is linked to Cathy Studer's interviews held earlier this week, and listed on the channel. Because of the sexual abuse we endured, our boundaries were shattered, which can leave us with issues around this when people want to touch us. Someone may want to give you a kiss or hug, and if you don't feel comfortable, its ok for you to step away, or say 'I'm not a hugger'. Equally, you may be a survivor who touches people whether they like it or not, and this needs to be addressed,...
Dec 14, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 37
Meet Cathy Studer Award winning author and CSA Prevention advocate. Between the ages of 6 - 12 Cathy was abused by stepfather tricked her into believing her mum knew but didn't care. When she was 12, a note was found which changed everything. She was instantly believed by her mother and removed from the situation that night . She believes that gratitude and self compassion helped her enormously and that negative self talk is very significant for survivors to pay attention to. You can find her bo...
Dec 12, 2023•26 min•Season 3Ep. 49
Meet Cathy Studer Award winning author and CSA Prevention advocate. Between the ages of 6 - 12 Cathy was abused by stepfather who told her her mum knew, but did not want to discuss it with her. He also made her write what he was doing to her from the age of 10, and the abuse finally stopped once her mother found the notebook when she was 12. You can find her books and reach Cathy at www.cathystuder.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland ...
Dec 10, 2023•27 min•Season 3Ep. 48
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is Cathy Studer, who from 6 - 12 was abused by stepfather who told her her mum knew -but didn't want to talk about it. He also made her write what he was doing to her from the age of 10, and the abuse finally stopped once her mother found the notebook when she was 12. The associated survivor tip is on body boundaries, and can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as well as our websi...
Dec 10, 2023•2 min
Validation This is linked to Frank Rogers interviews held earlier this week, and listed on the channel. We need validation because, as survivors, we have been shut down and disbelieved. Validation helps honour who we are and supports our truth. We can find this through movies, documentaries, listening to other survivors, and podcasts. Anything that supports you is considered to be validation. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for co...
Dec 07, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 36
Meet Frank Rogers Survivor. Teacher. Author. Frank experienced intergenerational abuse in several ways: he was sexually abused by his mother from infancy throughout his childhood and raped by his step grandfather twice. He was also abused by a priest at 7 years old, who wanted to play sex games. He lost his sister to suicide because she couldn’t cope with her own abuse memories. He has done lots of healing, and wants survivors to know that feelings and emotions are there for a reason: and to tak...
Dec 05, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 47
Meet Frank Rogers Survivor. Teacher. Author. Frank experienced intergenerational abuse in several ways: he was sexually abused by his mother from infancy throughout his childhood and raped by his step grandfather twice. He was also abused by a priest qt 7 years old, who wanted to play sex games. He suppressed it all till his son was born, then just erupted when he saw his mother touching his son. You can reach out to him at: frogers@cst.edu Author of: Cradled in the arms of compassion Practicing...
Dec 03, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 46
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is the amazing Frank Rogers who was abused by mother from birth, abused by grandfather a few times throughout his childhood, and then asked to play sex games by a catholic priest at age 7. The associated survivor tip is on validation and can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as well as our website and social media platforms including YouTube, handingtheshameback.org and IG, FB, T...
Dec 03, 2023•2 min
Having Someone If you're reading this - that someone is probably you. Please know how important you actually are. Let me explain: Because the abuse occurred in secrecy and silence and they were alone, this meant they were isolated and couldn't share, they were too scared. Having you means they now can. Be available so you can hear what is uppermost in their minds, and gently support them, being calm, accepting and gentle, feel less traumatising for them . For more tips and ideas, feel free to re...
Nov 29, 2023•2 min
Survivors, Having someone who stands by you and supports you is gold. The feeling it evokes when that person has your back, is almost indescribable. For some of us it happens easily, for others it can take us years to find that right person, because of the trust. Trust is huge for us - trusting anyone will be an issue, breaking that silence is difficult, as it is so much more than just words; it breaks the cycle and awakens deeply buried fears. Please just know that having someone means you are ...
Nov 26, 2023•5 min
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is my blog on Having Someone. This is so important for us as survivors - support, not being the least of it. We also have tips for supporting survivors for those who support survivors, Don't miss this!. These can all be found on our website and all other social media platforms including YouTube, handingtheshameback.org and IG, FB, Twitter, TikTok and LinkedIn. #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #believesurvi...
Nov 26, 2023•2 min
Grooming As adult survivors, did you know we could still be carrying remnants of that into adult lives today? We were groomed through threats, bribery and treats, and could still be feeling responsible or guilty for what they did to us, today! Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualab...
Nov 23, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 35
Meet April Giauque Ghostwriter. Author. Podcaster. She was abused the summer she was 7 by a senior in high school. To deal with the trauma she worked at being pleasing, a perfectionist and quality performer in all things. Eventually she realised these became the poison she would swallow. She also learned that self forgiveness is not 'one and done.' Find her on: https://www.facebook.com/april.giauque https://www.facebook.com/apriltribegiauqueauthor https://wwm/aprilgiauquew.instagram.com https://...
Nov 21, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 45
Meet April Giauque Ghostwriter. Author. Podcaster. She was abused the summer she was 7 by a senior in high school. The manipulation and grooming was calculated and effective, he knew exactly who he was targeting. She feels her father, her writing and her light have really helped her to heal. You can find April on https://www.facebook.com/april.giauque https://www.facebook.com/apriltribegiauqueauthor https://wwm/aprilgiauquew.instagram.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-tribe-giauque-msed-4555...
Nov 19, 2023•26 min•Season 3Ep. 44
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is survivor April Giauque. She was abused one summer by a senior from high school. The manipulation and grooming was calculated and effective. He knew exactly who he was targeting.. Grooming is our survivor tip for the week and can be found on our website and all other social media platforms: handingtheshameback.org and IG, FB, Twitter, TikTok and LinkedIn #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #believesurvivors...
Nov 19, 2023•1 min
Having Someone Is crucial for us as survivors. What started our abuse was the secrecy, silence and shame. It was hidden as was our voice. Having someone, among other things helps us to vocalise and share our experiences in safe settings with support from people who love us. (Among other things) Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #han...
Nov 16, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 34
