...Annnd we're black! Topics - Surprise vacation, Doom: Eternal, tuning and dealing, jumping and dashing, parkour master, everything's on cooldown, I'm stuck, Super Pussy Mode, really I need more ammo, I don't know what this multiplayer is, Resident Evil 3, it's more Resident Evil and it's kind of like 2, keys and maps, no loading, dashing and charging, goombas, Nioh, it's kind of like... Music - Sublime - Santeria, Aggressive Express - 'Merica, Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?...
Apr 13, 2020•1 hr 10 min
Chainsawing demons because you have to, not because you want to. Topics - Doom Eternal, the year of Our Lord 2016, everyone is still dying, new consoles same bullshit, stealing codes, the constant lack of ammo, upgrades and abilities, Hell Priests, I like it I swear, plasma beats shields sometimes, there's a story somewhere, skins, master levels. Music - Metallica - No Remorse, Pantera - Rise, Stone Temple Pilots - Sex Type Thing
Mar 30, 2020•1 hr 1 min
We're all Doomed... Topics - New consoles same as the old consoles, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, Triforce, bubble puzzles, sleeping bear, orb hoarder, Doom: Eternal, new streaming problems, karma, it's Doom... Or is it?, spider masterminds, the base and the secrets. Music - Metallica - Leper Messiah, Pisse - Hundegelantine, John Lennon - Isolation
Mar 23, 2020•1 hr 3 min
Whoever wins the semi-annual "Wettest Sneeze in Public" contest wins the old notebook. Topics - Web browser wars, somehow I don't think we'll get out of E3 that easily, Beautiful Desolation, antenna relay, The Dude, fellow tribesmen, spiritual mumbo jumbo, dice games, watering the gaming drought, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, the game is abuzz, mashing X and not using the D-Pad, platforming for the sake of platforming. Music - Nirvana - Drain You, The Black Dahlia Murder - Child of Night, Nine ...
Mar 15, 2020•1 hr 15 min
Drive-by sniping they did Nazi coming. Topics - Bagged bacon, Neverwinter Nights, poisoned by spiders, almost dead, returning to Sniper Elite 4, open world open wounds, circles within circles within arrows, general mayhem, silenced ammo, Beautiful Desolation, pointing and/or clicking, obscure weirdness, for once I just give up on everything. Music - Jim Morrison - Ghost Song, White Zombie - Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks, and Cannibal Girls, Kenny Rogers - The Gambler...
Mar 08, 2020•58 min
The hits keep on missing. Topics - Dreadout 2, the fatal frames, Indonesian folklore and urban legends, Ghost-O-Pedia, Asian School Girl Number 53, Cell Phone Obscura, an app for that, artificially difficult bullshit, black fog, horror shit, The Linda Haters Society, ghost girl gurney, Papa, toxic fights, stunlock garbage, Indonesian Tiger Ghost, fuzzy pictures, broken shit, Neverwinter Nights, it's playable..., turn undead?, "Recommended". Music - Onyx - Betta Off Dead, Bunbury - … Y Al Finale,...
Mar 01, 2020•1 hr 4 min
A twisted string of tutorials. It's on Sunday now, I guess. Topics - XCOM2: War of the Chosen, Nemesis Enemies, layers of bullshit, covert operations, time sensitive, losing the tactical touch, story mode, Magic the Gathering: Arena, it's not what you think it is, card games are gay, Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion, 4x, icon anxiety, it made me shit, World of Horror, is it out yet?, complete the ritual, I don't understand things, crashing, Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun, ninja stealth, e...
Feb 23, 2020•1 hr 12 min
Zombies, zombies everywhere and not a fuck to give. Topics - Oscar recap, In Search of Darkness, horror art, James Rolfe being James Rolfe, Trump talks B-movies, Nazi zombie/alien zombie, another surprise Spooktacular, Zombie Army 4, it was Hitler all along..., ghost Hitlers, harkening back to a time when killing Nazis was just fun and not a political statement for gays, tripping up on tripwires, traps, XCOM2/War of the Chosen, the usual confusion, yeah the episode is late fuck off. Music - The ...
Feb 17, 2020•1 hr 13 min
The novelty wore off looonnng ago. Topics - Pixels versus voxels... Settled?, Blade Runner remains a mystery, rasters and vectors, trixels, other bullshit I don't understand, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl, getting things ten years too late to be cool, scientist bunker guy, invisible vampire creatures, the continuing saga of broken shit, guass rifle gauntlet, that famous ferris wheel that's somewhere, Wishmaster, Zombie Army 4, it's Left 4 Dead but good, X-ray brains and testicles, GFP Radi...
Feb 09, 2020•1 hr 12 min
All work and no new games make AbsoluteDeicide a replicant. Topics - Sad news, Blade Runner, GOG, black borders, cyberpunk arcade machines, pixels versus voxels I don't know, fat people, Rasta Lady, animal murder, Chinese guy in the freezer with the eyeballs, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl, have to mention Fallout and Metro, hubs, floating fire balls, crashy. Music - Jimmy Gutierrez - Me Babi Lo Del Mercado, The Offspring - Come Out and Play, Ska-P - Eurotrama...
Feb 02, 2020•1 hr 11 min
The Mongoloidian. Topics - The Surge 2, directional blocking, combat combat combat, the language of the Souls, cyborg zombies, Baby Yoda, nano cults, Doc Ock, Baby Yoda, just go and do shit, for once I want a map, upping Anor Londo, no more games, dealing with delays, Baby Yoda, Blade Runner is out... The old one, dying for Dying Light 2, Frostpunk, coal and wood and steel, I still suck at strategy games. Baby Yoda. Music - The Hookers - Kiss My Fuckin Ass, Pink Cigs - Low Blow, Mick Gordon - Th...
Jan 26, 2020•1 hr 16 min
Rated PG for "Pretty Gay". Featuring special guest: the lovely and talented xJulianaMoon! Topics - Consumer watchdog bites man, beyond PornHub, Chaturbate, dick pics, interactive degeneracy, advanced JO strategies, Globalism in action, Filipinos are pigs, yellow surprise, DLC prices, the bottom half of Twitch thots, tech advice, fuck machine tips, Mortal Kombat with dildoes in the ass, MechWarrior 5 failures, falling back to grinding, The Surge 2 and more Dark Souls comparisons. Music - Anal Cun...
Jan 18, 2020•1 hr 15 min
It's not just Mechs and soldiers, it's also soldiers battling robots. And more Mechs. Topics - More MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries but not live, Black Inferno, two Atluses a King Crab and a microphone would have been a better title, dairy voice, LRM carriers, never ending end game, it keeps going and going..., Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, gold Scar, mounting, Terminator: Resistance, Future War, comparing it to Alien: Isolation because that's going to happen, Salvation was shit, reasoning and bargai...
Jan 12, 2020•1 hr 13 min
New year, zero effort. Music - Dshinghis Khan - Moskau, The Chats - Smoko, Ghoul - Metallicus Ex Mortis...
Jan 04, 2020•1 hr 8 min
The Never Ending Christmas. Topics - What I bought myself for Christmas, Red Dragons, numpads, Hyper X, Dolby Atmos maybe, Post Scriptum, "realistic", Cthulhu Saves Christmas, abbreviated JRPGs, in-jokes and getting meta, Christmas puns, Y.U.L.E. love it, poison, MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries. Music - Devo - Jerkin' Back 'N' Forth, Sean Kolton - Judgement and Retribution, Otoboke Beaver - datsu, hikage no onna...
Dec 28, 2019•1 hr 15 min
The most important person in history was born on this holy day: Ryan Seacrest. Topics - Reaching to not give up on Halo: Reach, linear unlocks, Radio Commander, armchair 'Nam baby murderer, more robotic than the game with Mechs, dumb soldiers, the Gab ghost town, you can't have "free speech" and no porn, masturbation condemnation, it's Christmas, MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries, familiar universe different perspective, real tank controls, negative progression, math. Music - Mariah Manson - All I Want...
Dec 22, 2019•1 hr 14 min
Who washes the cock, men? Topics - Halo: Reach is on PC. Kind of. When you find it, smoky haze, mandibles, doomed missions, ripping off Star Wars and Call of Duty or vice versa, MAC cannon, green streak crapshoot, pfft autoaim, a plea for ranks, how MLG ruined Halo, DMR starts, the dumbing down, power weapons, a genuine rant, is it Halo?, Xbox Series X, Hellblade 2. Music - Otoboke Beaver - Don't Light My Fire, The Rocking Dildos - Raincoat Brigade, Primus - Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweakers...
Dec 14, 2019•1 hr 14 min
Douchebumps on top of douchebumbs by R.L. Stein. Topics - This obscure indie game called Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, the M4A1 manufactured by NERF, killing with personality, molotov to the face, Battlefleet Gothic: Armada 2, space grids circles and lines, fears of a botched campaign, Disco Elysium, do something, Racist Cab Driver. Music - Slipknot - Solway Firth, The Damned - Smash it Up Parts 1 & 2, System of a Down - Deer Dance...
Dec 07, 2019•1 hr 21 min
I was fine until I got three Knuckles capsule toys in a row. Topics - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, the best comedy I've seen in years, space fuel and paper, hilarious Nextel jokes, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, holocrons, Vader the slasher, Need for Speed: Heat runs cold, Sunless Sea, menus menus menus, curse mummy, Shenmue, can't fault the port, the big stretch and the long con, thin plot in a long game, the memes are wrong, let's work... in a game. Music - Mclusky - Lightsabre Cock Sucking Blues,...
Nov 30, 2019•1 hr 16 min
The Thanksgiving Turktacular. Topics - Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, the chop, The GeForce Experience, lightsabering and forcing, planets are big, pushing balls, I suck at children's games, the Wookie homeworld, Debra Wilson has big black titties and fisheyes, cream of sum yung ginger guy, space bugs and dragons, Shenmue 3 is apparently garbage to no one's shock besides cultists, shooting more stuff in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. Hardcore. Music - Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song (Live 1972), The...
Nov 23, 2019•1 hr 20 min
Cold pressed and cold filtered. Close your window. Topics - Let's strand Death Stranding, I don't have to play it, the Kojima scam, Hell House, planning for next year, The Outer Worlds, what's considered "old school", stealing, fetch quests, tell me your life story random vendor, sleepy time, mixed messages, flaws, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare for the true hardcore, Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order. Music - The Black Satans - The Satan of Hell, GG Allin and the Jabbers - Bored to Death, The Exploite...
Nov 16, 2019•1 hr 12 min
Where is Zombies? Blizzcon 2019 (didn't watch it), Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (the new one), Piccadilly attack, faux outrage, where's the rape?, crossplay, clickity-clackity, the boots are on the ground, in the Ground War the snipers win, The Outer Worlds, Fallout in New Vegas in Space. Music - James Silva - I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MBIES 1N IT!!!1...
Nov 09, 2019•1 hr 22 min
The Long Halloween. Topics - Halloween hangover, Silent Hill: 0rigins, HD PS2, PSP was a thing, a trucker named Travis, the gang's all here, The Butcher, red demon, it's Silent Hill, maps and doors, two worlds, hearts in pools, the worst melee system in video game history, Death Stranding came out and no one cares, Fatal Frame 2 is unplayable. Music - Kottonmouth Kings - Bump, Biohazard and Onyx - Judgement Night, Guns N' Roses - November Rain...
Nov 03, 2019•1 hr 22 min
Halloween Hootenany Volume 5: The Season of the Werewolf. Featuring: Thrills!, Chills!, The Beast Inside, Werewolves?, House of the Dead 3, Spills!, Rot!, Silent Hill?, Sanitarium, Biff!, Pow!, The Suffering, Slurs!, Spooks!, and maybe more... Music - The Mamas and the Pepes - Eat the Bugs (High Energy Ska Remix), Daemonia - Toccata e Fuga, Job for a Cowboy - Suspended by the Throat. In memory of Shawn "Change" Lawson...
Oct 27, 2019•1 hr 25 min
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you yell at people and their heads explode. Topics - Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem, Dolphins, someone figured out tank controls suck, Buffy's mansion, clocks, time jumping, keeping your sanity, runes and spells, menu overload, too many portals, Condemned 2: Bloodshot is dogshit, worse than I remember, people have bad taste, edgy/emo Ethan, sexy Rosa, unwanted combos, can't see shit, exploding babies and heads, the doll factory, they fucked it...
Oct 19, 2019•1 hr 15 min
This is what happens when you cross a loner with a microphone. Not a whole lot. I have kittens. Topics - 360 health checkup, don't play Lost in Vivo, PS1 games look like garbage, famous annoying talking babies, fake glitches/real glitches, Joker, modern historical movies in fiction settings, "acting", justified violence, let's be racist, Taxi Driver?, giving Batman's mother the famous pearl necklace, we're all clowns, theories, Dead Space 2, is it horror?, haunted house etiquette, ghost wife. Mu...
Oct 12, 2019•1 hr 16 min
Health Advisory: Not for expecting women or nursing faggots. Topics - Hauntingly bad coffee, Gears 5 is still broken, A Nightmare on Elm Street, it's average, sleep but no health, Code Vein, level design and AI, not-quite-Souls, random bullshit, mazey ass maze, Condemned: Criminal Origins MOS, Serial Killer X, live research, Doom: Annihilation, It's better than Event Horizon. Music - Laas Rockit - Leatherface, S.O.D. - Freddy Kreuger, Misfits - Night of the Living Dead...
Oct 05, 2019•1 hr 20 min
Okay, NOW it's The Grunt Free Press Spooktacular 2019, a month-long celebration of all things gay. I mean horror. Shit... It's STILL not October? Too late to change now. Boo. Topics - Gears 5 is still broken, School Girl/Zombie Hunter, avocado and watermelon, soothing shooting, Man of Medan again but "co-op" this time, pass the controller, Hunt: Showdown, blue sparklies, I should like it..., more reasons Early Access sucks, Code Vein, anime vampires, blood vials that grow on trees, critters, alr...
Sep 28, 2019•1 hr 11 min
I swear I don't hate everything. Just most things. At least it's the official unofficial start of Spooktober, so I can start playing bad things that I like that everybody hates. Topics - The Friday the 13th curse is real, why the fuck is Nightmare on Elm Street fifty dollars?, retro awesome, Thimbleweed Park, gaming while sick, disjointed storytelling, specks of dust, hot dogs for hamburgers, hint lines, Arrest-O-Tron 3000, toilet paper, Rebel Galaxy 2, generic space shit, feelin' the grind, 3 F...
Sep 21, 2019•1 hr 29 min
Maybe I'm sick from the trash fire. Topics - Control sucks, levitate to your death, dark platforms, glitchy health, blue balls, annoying shit, the "Find Something Worse than the Ashtray Maze" challenge, Gears 5, Locust Queen, not of this War, skiffin', tornadoes, it's basically Crysis, Dropshot, fighting Grabboids, Real Talk: Gears campaigns, stuttering and crashing, Friday the 13th: Tips and Tricks that kind of work. Music - Gremlins 2: The New Batch OST - The Big Battle, Hatebreed - As Diehard...
Sep 14, 2019•1 hr 12 min
