Trigger warning!: This is about that time you were at that place and you were pretty sure everybody wondered if you were actually invited to be in that place and the whole time you felt like everybody hated you and you still can’t confirm that they didn’t. Enjoy!
The entire Grownups Are Lucky content production team dug down deep to put together several minutes of wildly unnecessary verbage.
We’re still at it. And we still have no idea what it is. But also it is you, listening, and then saying to yourself, “They are still at it, and I have no idea what it is.”
It’s all a sad loop. It’s always been like this. Enjoy!
You’d be surprised who people think you look like in another part of the world where people don’t look like you.
The weather waits for no grandma.
This week’s episode includes a bad German accent, unsolicited life advice, and a puzzle!
This week’s story can’t be bothered. If you want this thing in your living room you’re going to have to do the heavy lifting yourself.
When you find yourself asking yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?” the answer is probably lots of terrible things.
Some people go places and then things happen to them and those things are bad for them, but not necessarily bad for their predators.
All the elves are on furlough, so this is the best we could come up with, and let’s be honest, it’s a disappointment, but you’re used to that by now.
There is a lot of space in space.
Here is a story about a depressing sounding place where a kid is asking questions and his stuffed friends are doing their best to give some sound advice.
Oh man, maybe things are getting better, but are they not also getting worse? Mathematically speaking, really bad + fucking horrifying + inhuman - a few bad people perhaps temporarily = still very bad.
A shallow dive into a divided America.
Oh no he didn’t. Oh yes he did.
This one guy walks into a bar.
This is a story about how the author is afraid we’ll all soon be dumb and afraid and nobody will remember how to make electricity.
Dumb stuff blurs along in shapes and sounds you reassemble in your imagination because it’s a gift your brain gave you, and because you’re bored, and secretly anxious and fed up and scared and tired and nearly deceased. Enjoy!
It’s so hard to buy things and feel like a winner when buying things makes you feel like a loser.
The new normal is still the old normal which under normal circumstances will probably end in our extinction. But think of the clearance sales!
Are we still doing this? What is this? When is tomorrow? Who ordered this pizza?
We used to think we couldn’t wait to have a little time alone.
An unusual engagement announcement springboards off of speculation on butterfly coitus.
People used to go to large auditoriums and crowd near each other, screaming out mists of germs while rubbing elbows and swaying against other bodies while handsome musicians sang about banal lusts.
If you are giving a gift it is a good idea to brand it with an identifying mark in case somebody tries to steal it and later on you run into the thief in another time zone.
Mother nature doesn’t think much of you.
These days lifting oneself up by the bootstraps means performing your own medical procedures on yourself with money you had to borrow from Aunt Helen.
This is one of those cute stories where you think: Well, I guess that was cute, if you are into that sort of thing in a miniature story.
If fans could talk, they’d be all, “What’s with all the shit?”
