Grownups Are Lucky - podcast cover

Grownups Are Lucky

Jason Porterthejasonporter.com
Jason Porter, author of the novel Why Are You So Sad?, brings you a new story every week, each about two minutes in length, because who has time for anything longer than that?
Last refreshed:
Follow this podcast in the Metacast mobile app to refresh it and see new episodes.
Download Metacast podcast app
Podcasts are better in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episodes

Shine

We are all barely here for barely any longer, but that still might be a long time, like however long the dinosaurs were here, and maybe still are.

May 06, 20206 minSeason 3Ep. 17

Flirt

Why do we assume that aliens will find us attractive? I don’t even find us attractive.

Apr 28, 20206 minSeason 3Ep. 16

Stock

We can’t promise it won’t sting a little to ponder olden times when you could casually browse the bulk section of a supermarket and maybe even flirt with another human without wearing rubber gloves or having to say, “where’d you get that mask?”

Apr 22, 20206 minSeason 3Ep. 15

Golf

Some great feelings taste great together. Some don’t. Who’s thirsty?

Apr 13, 20205 minSeason 3Ep. 14

Lick

Trigger warning: this story gets up in your personal space.

Apr 06, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 13

Buy

It’s so much pressure figuring out how to spend our winnings. Good thing we’re all going to die.

Mar 30, 20208 minSeason 3Ep. 12

Mound

There were lots of stories in our reserve tanks, but our reserve story tanks didn’t anticipate this exact hellscape, so now everything seems ill-fitting and or tone deaf. But then again , what doesn’t? This crappy endeavor is still free, so we stopped caring. But not about you. We care about you. Stay safe.

Mar 24, 20205 minSeason 3Ep. 11

Feel

What would it feel like to feel like feeling like God?

Mar 16, 20205 minSeason 3Ep. 10

Mutate

An epic fight between human and arachnid with potentially grave consequences for past and future sexual partners, all rendered in exactly 250 words.

Mar 10, 20203 minSeason 3Ep. 9

Smile

Maggie Lungston is talking to her sushi again.

Mar 02, 20205 minSeason 3Ep. 8

Smell

Isn’t it crazy that given the small amount of time we have to live we choose to spend any of it watching game shows?

Feb 25, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 7

Draft

We are driving toward, or at least near, a cliff, and if you were to ask this driver, some of the trucks don’t look so safe.

Feb 17, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 6

Kick

The person to whom we have ceded all power is emotionally stunted and in steep mental decline.

Feb 10, 20205 minSeason 3Ep. 5

Storm

We really don’t know if, how, or when our shit is going to hit the fan, so we should probably catch up on the back log of television programs and then maybe pick up some canned goods. Maybe also one of those new shit umbrellas.

Feb 03, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 4

Chain

Within some brains, ideas drift like snow. Then those brains command hands shared by the same body to type these ideas into stories. And then you are stuck listening to this strange precipitation.

Jan 27, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 3

Impeach

We decided to get generous and release a bonus episode that we think will be a lot of fun to play out loud while you play at home with your Congressional action figures.

Jan 24, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 2

Engorge

We’ve all been there. Finding something difficult to resist which you know you will soon find repellent and nonetheless still not resisting. Like your reflection in a mirror.

Jan 20, 20204 minSeason 3Ep. 1

Shop

This is the last episode of 2019. Cherish it. It will warm your dead heart!

Dec 23, 20195 minSeason 2Ep. 47

Limp

Everybody dies and then we forget it because we are busy dying ourselves.

Dec 16, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 46

Spend

There was a time when there was much more time because things were less advanced.

Dec 09, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 45

Interview

It’s lonely at the top. But, then again, tough shit.

Nov 25, 20195 minSeason 2Ep. 44

Lead

Sometimes it’s not who you are but who you hope to be, and sometimes you hope to be that person by being with someone you hope will be like the exciting people you’ve seen in the movies. Here’s to hoping.

Nov 18, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 43

Pray

Awful stuff plus awful people plus your face equals can't miss entertainment.

Nov 11, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 42

Squall

Some conversations can take an entire life time to finish given all the digital screeches and reception blackouts.

Nov 04, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 41

Nurse

What if the attending nurse knows more about our loved one than we do?

Oct 28, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 40

Poison

When an awkward exchange at the dinner table leads to passive aggressive suicide, don’t assume love isn’t right around the corner.

Oct 23, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 39

Rocket

It is terrible when terrible things happen.

Oct 07, 20193 minSeason 2Ep. 38

Herd

If we are running off a cliff, and there were a way to step back and watch us all run off a cliff, would you do so, or would you be the first to take the leap?

Sep 30, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 37

Enslave

The future is here, and don’t worry, if you can earn enough money, you will have a romantic partner for life, or at least until their warranty runs out.

Sep 23, 20195 minSeason 2Ep. 36

Market

Do you giggle when people talk to you about people going poo poo and the subsequent cleanup rituals involved? Just curious.

Sep 16, 20194 minSeason 2Ep. 35
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android