Escape
Time is somewhere and wherever it is it is seemingly endless, like our time with the current former current president, endlessly predictable in its suffocating sense of endlessness.
Apr 19, 2025•7 min•Season 7Ep. 3
Grownups Are Lucky
Jason Porter, author of the novel Why Are You So Sad?, brings you a new story every week, each about two minutes in length, because who has time for anything longer than that?
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Episodes
Breakfast
Episode two is totally off the rails. But in our defense there is a nationwide rails shortage. Bonus: This episode includes a free song that will tickle your terror bones.
Mar 09, 2025•11 min•Season 7Ep. 2
Fuck
A new season and an old nemesis. Catch back up with all your favorite characters and learn clever ways to enhance your love life.
Feb 07, 2025•8 min•Season 7Ep. 1
Touch
Did you ever notice how nobody seemed to notice that nobody was noticing because we were all too busy not noticing?
Nov 09, 2024•9 min•Season 6Ep. 7
Monkey
Take a step into the past, where you were just another hairy kid longing for speech.
Oct 25, 2024•7 min•Season 6Ep. 6
Love
We are all alone together.
Oct 12, 2024•6 min•Season 6Ep. 5
Assassinate
We were gone for a while, but so were you. This much anticipated installment is a story posing as a rant posing as a story. Also, a new sponsor!
Sep 21, 2024•7 min•Season 6Ep. 4
Collide
A lot of things happen on an airplane despite nothing actually happening on an airplane.
Apr 18, 2024•5 min•Season 6Ep. 3
Stumble
Time is like an uncomfortable canoe.
Mar 12, 2024•6 min•Season 6Ep. 2
Childproof
The future is whenever.
Feb 23, 2024•5 min•Season 6Ep. 1
Consent
It’s that time of year. Take care of yourself. Remember that spiritual fulfillment is in none of the places major advertisers are telling you to look. There is nothing under the tree that is going to fill your many voids. But, you do look great in that sweater and your egg nog is, once again, out of sight.
Dec 22, 2023•7 min•Season 5Ep. 13
Pretend
We only have so much time and yet we mostly waste it. This podcast is also a waste of time, but under five minutes, so maybe listen while on the toilet.
Dec 19, 2023•5 min•Season 5Ep. 12
Isolate
An exciting episode that may or may not be an allegory about the creative process.
Nov 10, 2023•5 min•Season 5Ep. 11
List
While we do things we start to think about other things forgetting sometimes that all the time we are absolutely nothing.
Oct 31, 2023•4 min•Season 5Ep. 10
Party
Are we robots? Are robots us? Are we us?
Jun 28, 2023•6 min•Season 5Ep. 9
Post
Love is mostly feeling fine about mostly not feeling love in the way you mostly thought you might.
Jun 16, 2023•5 min•Season 5Ep. 8
Compute
There will exist a moment when we will look to something that doesn’t exist to help us figure out if and how to exist.
May 11, 2023•6 min•Season 5Ep. 7
Congregate
Let’s take it to the creator and ask for our money back, while also not holding our breath, because, let’s be honest, return policies these days are designed to overwhelm you until you give up. But don’t give up. You’re special. Probably.
Apr 06, 2023•6 min•Season 5Ep. 6
Befriend (again)
Today’s episode is a re-broadcast of a real emotional belch you’re just going to have to deal with. You don’t get to have ups without downs. Sir Isaac Newton probably said that in more high falutin terms. Other people probably said it too. Seems pretty obvious.
Mar 15, 2023•6 min•Season 5Ep. 5
Wink
There is no point in waiting for everything to be good. Get on the dance floor. Shake it up. Barf a little in your mouth. Life is short.
Mar 02, 2023•4 min•Season 5Ep. 4
Laugh
This week’s episode features sleight of hand, and a special new segment on facial expressions.
Feb 15, 2023•8 min•Season 5Ep. 3
Resemble
Do you ever look in the mirror and think, I feel like I’ve seen that face before?
Feb 07, 2023•4 min•Season 5Ep. 2
Heist
What is love? What is a story? Why are we here? What comes tomorrow? This latest episode answers none of these questions!
Jan 31, 2023•5 min•Season 5Ep. 1
Repair
You are what you bring to the table, and you are alone at that table, even if there are other people at that table. They can’t help you, except for maybe being able to pass the salt.
Feb 15, 2022•4 min•Season 4Ep. 2
Bill
It’s a brand new season of Grownups Are Lucky, which means absolutely nothing, because we just took the stack of story recipes, shuffled them, and then changed the shit up like we were playing drunken Madlibs. And maybe we were. Who are you to judge? You’re the one who can’t find anything better to do than to listen to this crap.
Jan 13, 2022•5 min•Season 5Ep. 1
Write
As should come as no surprise, this year’s season finale doesn’t mistletoe the line, when it comes to holiday cheer.
Dec 22, 2021•4 min•Season 4Ep. 15
Live
This episode is so stupid you’ll feel great about yourself for not being as stupid as this episode.
Dec 02, 2021•5 min•Season 4Ep. 14
Commemorate
Death happens. Life happens. Smells happen. Pets happen. Grownups Are Lucky is back after going away just after falsely claiming it was back. Trust nobody, but also, enjoy!
Nov 23, 2021•5 min•Season 4Ep. 13
Unfold
Holy schitz, we’re back. Just when you were ready to give up on podcasts that were short enough to listen to while folding no more than ten pair of underwear. We’re back, you glorious listener! So enjoy! Because nothing lasts forever.
Sep 15, 2021•5 min•Season 4Ep. 12
Watch
Companionship can be found. It can be lost. It can be simulated on television.
May 19, 2021•5 min•Season 4Ep. 11
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