Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obed hent and soft by nature. She was a good woman who always made good choices.
We're good mom's bad choices.
Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy shared all their bad choices and.
Sound out they were so bad.
After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
I can do it.
Okay, Wait, let me go back to the question, because thank you good. I agree with everything.
That you just said, absolutely absolutely, And it takes it takes a soap box to remind yourself like, oh yeah, this is that's not the real world.
This is yeah, Like I don't know what the fuck world we're living in.
I don't know.
I live in a different world, you know, And.
I think like the world first of all, because you wrote about a lot of the men that we're seeing now come to light, and I'm that'll be more.
There's more. There's more, that's it's gonna come. It's gonna see it coming.
Like some of these men you've had a lot of you had interactions with, you had experiences with, and do you think you have a different perspective of your experience during the time in which you experience these men versus now, where like you might have more clarity, more understanding, more language, like of the how unnormal certain situations were that you were made to feel were normal, or maybe that even the things you experienced in your childhood would have convinced
you were normal. Yeah, versus now that you've gone through probably a lot more self discovery in continuing to be a writer and continuing to just live and exist in the world and just heal in general.
Good question, because, first of all, think about this. I grew up with a mother who was abusive, so being beaten was normal to me. And I'm not just talking about spankings. I'm being I mean being beaten. I was kidnapped and raped at thirteen. I was kidnapped again at some point after that, so having men be in control of my body was also very normal to me from a very young age. I was taught very early, you have no you have no autonomy. We're gonna take you,
We're gonna snatch you. Being raped at thirteen showed me that I there was no didn't matter, and that was a grown man who did that. So it's like I just I never belonged to me. So that when I became of age, I took my autonomy. I over I over overdid my autonomy because I wanted to prove that I was control of my body. How do you over write? I wanted to two things were happening simultaneously. I wanted
to erase. And this is what happens too when you're I. I believe in through my therapy that when you have had bad sexual experiences, you want the next one to overwrite, overwrite, and override the one before. So I'm being raped. You want to a lot of times redo the experience and make it better so you can forget the original experience, but it's very rarely better because you still have the trauma of the first experience. You can't undo the trauma
just by redoing the act. You can't redo the you know, you can't undo it. And so what became normal for me was physical abuse, and I took that autonomy to another level because I'm like, well, I'm the one that's choosing. These are choices. I'm making right, but I was making the choice based on the trauma. So it was a trauma informed choice, right, just not the same kind of choice as a healed in form choice. And so that's why the autonomy was over It was overkill on the autonomy.
The proper kind of autonomy for me would have been to start to start therapy sooner and then make decisions based on the healing that was happening. But I didn't do that, as most people don't do that. So and looking back, so much of what I wrote about was just so regular to me, And even now as we're having these discussions, you can see it's no longer regular too. I'm like, oh my god, oh.
My god, Like, do you think that that's maybe why there was also this shock for you? It's like Why's like why is everyone?
This is just how it is? True? It's true, true, but not just the truth. It's the truth in this particular world, right, Like I'm not reporting from midwestern Oklahoma, right right, I'm reporting from Hollywood. Hollywood, bitch, what the fuck you think goes on here? And it's been going on since forever. So I was more shocked that people were shocked about Hollywood, Like this is what happens here. This is what's always happened here. The drugs have always
been here. Who yeah, what did you think is going on? Like you know, so it's like one in one. In one second, you guys want to scream Illuminati, but in the next second, when I'd show you what's actually happening, like, oh my god, this is awful, Like what did you think was happening in this cesspool of a fucking town where since its invention, kids have been taking advantage of adults, women, men in your face.
It wasn't very like hidden, it's so overt.
So I'm shocked that you're fucking shocked, right, And I'm shocked that you're blaming me because I'm the young girl and all these men were so much older than I was, and no one even clocked that team right now, it said shit about that or if god, he's dead, bitch, Like people are dead, like they've gotten old and died and I'm still here, Like these people are older than
I am. They're eight, nine, ten, sometimes fifteen, twenty years older than me, and that was never a factor, and no one was thinking about this, like wait, it was you were the monster.
You were somehow right, the bad guy. You were the villain.
I'm a twenty year old girl, single mom, just trying to make a buck and the man who and the men who were in control of the money are like, yeah, but you gotta do this first, right. I remember being homeless and men being like, well, if you want to sleep here, you gotta have sex with me. And at this point, I don't give a fuck because I got a baby in the car. It's the middle of winter, and I'm like, well, just take the pussy real quick.
It's gonna take you five seconds. Bitch. I don't give a fuck, but me and this baby gotta sleep somewhere tonight because I have nowhere to live. I'm living in my car. Those men were in their forties and I was in my twenties, and we didn't have the life language we should have, honestly, because a sexual revolution of the nineteen sixties early seventies gave us a lot of.
Language, gave white women language.
Okay, I just watched this thing about that the other day, so I'm just recapping in my brain what I just saw. There's a there's a documentary about Miss magazine that I just watched the other day that spoke about the difference between white feminism and black feminism and how yeah, so, yes, I didn't grow up in a black or white society. I just didn't. So I didn't know that there was a difference. To be honest, did you grow up.
On the you were in the islands, you were amongst black.
People, think that black people think the islands are just black. The island was a Danish island, right, So it's not just full of black people. There's blacks, there's whites, there's there's East Indians. And no, my mother is not a black woman. It's not, no, my dad no, So yeah, no, it's it's a completely mixed family. It's and we didn't, we don't. It's not the same, guys, it's not the same, promise, it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not
the same. It's so not the same. And there are a lot of things that I learned in America that I didn't learn there, And so there was not a separation of the racism when I was growing up. There's not a separation between white feminism and black feminism. It was just women like women ruled where I'm from, So like I didn't know there was a separation. My family is a mixed family from Puerto Rican and Danish. That's the mix of my family, and my dad's side was
like French and Jamaican or something. So, but speaking about my mom's side, because that's where I grew up, it's like I didn't have that, you know, I mean, I have white grandparents, Like, it didn't I'd never I didn't know any of these things. We're not all the same, We're not a monolith, and depending on where we grow up in our communities, we see things very differently. So I did not understand that in America there was a difference because while America was going through certain things, my
island was not going through that. Right, So while there was you know, like water hosing and things of that, that wasn't happening. So my grandmother couldn't pass that down to me because it didn't happen to her. She was married to a white man, and even though there was some tension between the families, it wasn't like an island wide thing, you know what I mean, Like I just didn't get that education because it never No one could pass that knowledge down to me because it hadn't happened
to them. They weren't here. We were there, and so what happened here didn't happen everywhere, and it didn't happen there. And so even though that, that's not to say they weren't tensions, but it wasn't the same kind of thing. And coming from a mixed and blended racial family, I never knew that there was a difference. I just knew that in my family all the women were boss bitches and they ran the men around like I didn't know that white women had something a black women didn't have,
because on my island, all the women had it. It's twenty seven miles, you know what I mean, that's all we had. And so I didn't know that. But I do see it differently. I see I now, looking back, I realized how much I didn't understand about this country. Honestly, because in other parts of the world where this book is sold, it doesn't It didn't get the same response.
That's so interesting. I mean, I would imagine so, but that's so interesting to me. In Europe is not the same response about it the same way.
Yeah, I know, it's America. America has bigotry deeply routed in its DNA.
It's interesting too because when the book came out, I was about to be a senior, and I, you know, it was very pivotal in my life, Like it stuck hard, Like it meant something to me because I related with to you. I understood, And I think it's interesting as like a sixteen or seventeen year old, like senior, I understood even at that age age the trauma you had experienced and how it was obviously related to your the decisions after and your zero fucks given, and like I
understood that. But when I saw you get so much backlash from like you know, it was it was everywhere, like on TV, I think.
For women it was extremely empowering.
Yeah, it was.
It was the men that encroached on that moment and made it this other thing. Whereas maybe in other countries, and I quote me if I'm wrong, like there's a more of an openness and like maybe not an openness, but there's the women still have a say in some capacity, even though patriarchy has bled its blood blood throughout the world and everywhere here is like because there's such an inception point here.
But it was just.
Odd to me, even as a child that people were misunderstanding the very clear message in the book. I was like, it's interesting that these are the things that people are talking about, that these are the people that are to write.
Yeah.
I remember thinking so odd because I so clearly.
Understood the depth of the story and the thread of the decisions and who like it. Just it resonated with me and I understood it, and I thought it was odd that you were getting a lot of backlash and it was just like people were talking shit, and I just couldn't understand, like, well, did you read the book?
Most people didn't. So here's what I found out and what I didn't realize before So Confessions came out. It was two thousand and five, and think about the internet at that time, Twitter was brand new. No Twitter came around two thousand and six. We didn't have Twitter, we had Facebook, and Facebook was brand new. I just realized a lot of people who read this book or yeah, who were very young. I'm hearing it now. Oh, I
was in junior high. I was eleven, I was and so I remember So Confessions was embargoed, which means nobody got it until the day of So for months people were wondering what's in this book? What's in this book? And then people would make up things that they would say were excerpts that couldn't have been excerpts because if nobody had seen it, Barnes and Noble didn't even get it until the day of which I think was June sixth or something. Even Barnes and Noble couldn't get it.
Nobody got it. Everything was drop shipped day off. Okay, that's what in Bargo's and Bargoed books are. I remember there was a list online of like hundreds of men that I'd slept with that I'm pretty sure now that I realized how young everyone was at the time. Who was like really into some kid probably made up on the internet. It was men who were dead. It was
like Big Pun, It was like Puck Eve. And even to this day, I have had people who were asking me for interviews about how like what was going on in the nineties, like hip hop in the nineties, I was a child in the nineties because they had gotten this list. I had someone recently send an email that was doing a documentary on Ellen Iverson and they were like, we'd like to talk to you about your experience and your relationship with Alan Iverson. I was like, I have never
met this man in my entire life. I realized that so much of what people thought was in the book was never in the book, and that what people thought I had done I had never done, which I thought I just and it just really honestly dawned on me just recently. I'm like, these were children playing on the internet. These were young people because older people weren't on socials
back then, Like it wasn't like a thing. I'm like, these are young people making a list two hundred and something odd men, most of whom I had never met. And I have the most boring sex life. I know. I hate to say this, Like I know people think it's the most it's not. It's you, honestly, can I be honest. It's the same men. It's the same fucking that. I was laughing about this with one of them the other day. I was like, bro, I spind the block so much because I don't I never want new bodies.
But everyone has this idea that I've had all this sex that I've never had, and I'm like, where did this come from? It was like Snoop Dog and like again Pac and like Pun Pun had been dead since I was like fifteen, Like it was all these people that I've never met. I've seen interviews of men old like old school rappers who nobody knows, claiming they slept with me, who I've never met, who have never met, and doing it for like clout and SEO and like
clicks or whatever. Reass s el pussy yo, men, I've never met, bro that you show rappers from the nineties that I've never met, like I was. I was in high school in the nineties, like I was in Arizona. Bitch, fucking meet me men who have lied on their dicks on the internet, and everyone just buys it.
Of course because it's fun, because it's fun to just make believe and just keep the story going.
Meanwhile, it's been the same three people for like twenty years, like the same one, not twenty but like the same three to five. It's the same. I might I'm dick. I might venture out once in a while, but like literally it's the same.
Crew, familiar, familiar Dick.
It's just like the crew, just me and the crew and the girl, like you are all my bitches and like you're I'm what's up and they're all friends, and like everybody understands, like, Oh, it's your turn. It's your turn.
It's your turn, bro, it's your turn.
Because you can't trust new Dick because new Dick comes with like problems, guys, I can't trust new dicks. So like, whoever I was fucking twenty years ago might be the same person I'm fucking now, you know what I mean. And anytime I try something you it's a problem. These men are. This is a problem. It's always a thing. So I stopped doing all that. But like, I don't know how we started this conversation.
God, let me get back. I have a I have I have another question.
I know this is getting a little bit long because I feel like our last episode was two parts because.
Be sat here and talked for hours, because because it's fun and we have to catch up and I love I love hearing you speak.
There's a question that I thought I was interested in knowing as well. It was who was it? Where is this question?
Said?
Oh?
Yes, So have any of the people from your book ever apologized for how they showed up in your life?
Oh that's a really good question, honestly, IRV. God he did. Oh wow, IRV god he did. I saw him at a club. It was a it was a it was a while ago, and I went to this club by myself. I don't know what the fuck I was doing there. It's like some fucking random clo. I don't know what the fuck I was doing there. And I went to the bar and he was there by himself, and he was like, you're alone.
I'm like yeah.
He's like, you just came here alone. I'm like, yeah, you know. And he did apologize to me at the bar because and he was like, you know what I loved about the book. He said, it's because there are things you could have said that you didn't say. It was like, and I appreciated that because I knew a lot more than I said, and so he said I really appreciated that. And he was like, I'm just I'm just sorry for the way, well, you know, I reacted to like the fact that you were telling your story
and yeah, and it was fine. And then he invited me back to the house that night, and I ghosted him but whatever, because I was like, you're not gonna.
Set me up. I'll take that.
Yeah, And I dipped out, but it was nice. It was nice of him to acknowledge and apologize.
And be a man and be a man about it. Yeah, yeah, that's nice. And then the kind of overrides it by him inviting into.
That kind of But then but then he went on and then he went on Drink Champs and told this lie so like not even like a couple a year or two after that, he went on Drink Drink Drink Champs and he was like, he does a story about how I took down like the whole crew of like worker bees or something like. I don't know what the story was specifically, but remember it just being such a lie.
And I don't know what that was about. Anyone who knows me knows this because because first because I met jar rule first, and then I went to IRV because I go from like lieutenant to like whoever you're going in charge? Yeah exactly right, so like I'm not going
to go to like the assistant after that. That's a crazy notion and everyone just ate that up, like oh, like and he talked about it as if there was a line outside the door and I took all these like crews wow, after apologizing, after apologizing to me, And maybe that's because I go. Yeah, I think it.
Lets you know, it wasn't a genuine apology.
It was exactly it was bush yeah, which is why I didn't go to the thing. Remember I'm telling that lie on drink Champs and me just thinking like and people will eat that up not knowing me. But I only fuck with bosses, and so there's no way in the world of fuck your assistant and like the key grip and like the sound man and like it's not my vibe, Like I'm a money girl, Like where's the money yet, Like I'm not gonna like this is insane.
I think it's so crazy. Like to your quote that you shared earlier, Margaret, I can't remember her last name, but would at Wood. Yes, I should know that because I watched every season of The Handmaid's Tale and I was very upset by how it ended. Yeah, I was gonna go back and revisit it, but not anymore.
Bitch, it's good.
It's dark.
I know.
That's why empty of the path, I get too deep.
Anyway, Yes, we should watch it, but just know the ending is not what it's just not going to satisfy it. But the quote of men are men are worried that men are women are going to laugh at them? And what happens when a woman does laugh at them? Yes, and their reactions even silently, even when no one knows, because he probably looked at him inviting you and you saying no, thank you.
I didn't even say no thank you. I was like yes, And then I got in my car, and then he was texting me like I'm at the corner, blah blah blah, I'm I'm on my way and I was going to the opposite direction and his laugh so he got the drink chance and it was like and then she took down twenty of my I'm like, bro, what are you talking about.
Often that the that echo of what happens after they that they feel like they've been laughed at is where the lies and where the deterioration of our of our said reputation goes. Where men start to just talk out of their ass and just literally makeup shit and people can't believe that it.
Would be a lie. Yeah, I just I can't believe that it would be a lie.
That's just so crazy. But that goes back to the admiration of certain kinds of people that I feel you should not admire because like these people haven't done half the ship that like like scientists have done or like something important, but just at the adverse. So he's a producer who's to be a DJ, and you're gonna take his fucking word. And so it's like, no matter what I do, I will always be in some people's eyes this person because a man said up was that person.
When it goes back to the list of two hundred men that I never even fucking met, most of them to whatever the fuck IRV God he said on drink Champs was a fucking out and out lie because why would I go from the boss to the boss's helper. That's nuts. If you've seen fucking scarface, you know what. That's fucking nuts.
Like it's just not logical.
Bosses only bitch. I've been that bitch forever. Bro Like, there's no way in the world, fucking your assistant you're gonna bring me coffe, I'm gonna give you pussy, Like what are you talking about? And so like the fact. But it's like if the man says it, then it becomes fact. If the woman says it, then it's questionable. Every single fucking time. And the men that you're admiring are trash, bro Like, they're such trash in their personal lives.
They don't take care of their children, they cheat on their fucking wives, they never fucking go home home. They're drug addicts, like fuck, they're alcoholics, like fucking crazy, Like these men need these many therapy, baddest fuck and these are your idols. And there's another saying that goes, I don't care about your booze because I see who you cheer for. Like, I don't care if you don't like me, bitch, because I see who you like. I don't give a fuck.
I don't like you're not Yeah, exactly, like, look at the people you uphold. I don't give a fuck if you don't like me.
Look at them good, that's actually a good indication.
Look at the gum you revere. You think I give a fuck whether you like me or not. You're revering chama lesters, you're revering rapists, you're revering drug addicts, you're revering fucking cokes like, you're revering weirdos. Bro Like, I don't give a fuck if you don't like me. Look at the people you fucking lust after. These people are not good people, bro, So who gives a fuck if you like me or not? I don't You're not You're not my type of fucking person. We're not the fucking same.
How has that been?
You know? Like this is its been twenty years, you're obviously comee from like twenty six. You're still like a baby.
In ways until this point and you've got the opportunity for people to hear your story, but they've also see your evolution. Has it been difficult like for other people to under like people thinking they can talk like about you even after you're apologizing, like to take you in this version of yourself.
Okay, So I'm gonna say this. I know for a fact as a grown woman now just a few years from fifty, what I know for a fact is that most people have a really hard time evolving in their own lives. Most people are stuck. Most of your listeners and watchers are stuck. They're in the same place, doing the same thing with the same people, and they don't want to be there, and they don't know how or afraid to shift. I under that's human nature. It's just
the human experience. It's easy to get stuck. People like me don't get stuck. This is what makes us special, This is what makes me different, is that every six months I'm moving, I'm doing something different, I'm onto something or somebody or some I'm always moving. I think that it's difficult for those people, for most people to imagine my growth, because they have a hard time growing, excelling, and moving forward. Again, it's human nature. It's so easy
to get stuck. It's so easy to get stuck in a relationship that you fucking hate, with a man you can't stand. It's so easy to get bogged down with the kids. It's so easy to get bogged down in your job. It's so easy to do what your parents tell you to do, even though that's not what you really want to do. There are so many instances where it's so easy to get stuck in a version of yourself that you don't really want to be in, and then not know how to change and shift and move forward.
Most people are there. I've never been that person, and that scares people. It excites people, and it ignites curiosity in people, but also it makes people angry. I will shift. I will move any chance I get from man to man, from place to place, from state to state. It doesn't matter to me. I am living my life as freely as any man because men are allowed to do a lot of shit they don't let women do. But I do all the shit men do. I'm gonna bring you
one step closer. I am living my life as freely as any mediocre white man because mediocre white men aren't even qualified for shit the ship that they fucking do. I'm doing shit I ain't fucking qualified for. I don't give up. But because I'm gonna live my life just as freely, openly and unqualified as any mediocre fucking white man on his planet, I don't give a fuck, and you can't stop me. You can't slow me down nothing.
So whatever people think, I realize this, that thought process is not about me, Bro, That's about them and their struggle to shift and move and live freely. I live free. I have no burdens, I have no issues. I have no fucking problems. Nothing's a problem to me. If something is a problem to me, I leave it. I just fucking shuck and jive. I just know I'm out, Nigga, like Houdini, Like I'm out. You want to see me no more, bro, I will post it here, husbands, baby daddies.
Fucking what. I will leave the situation so fast now talk to you. It's as if I've never fucking been there. So whatever issues people have about me, I know it's not about me. I know it's about them, and I must.
Feel very free. It feels like freedom.
Yes, of course, freedom is the game, Like that's what you want. You want to be free?
Because I think people might have a m might assume the opposite, because so many people have opinions about you.
Oh, like y'all don't give a fuck we broke people in Iowa care about me? Like I don't have an opinion about really nothing or anybody because it doesn't matter to me. I'm so self centered. I am the center of my life. I am the center of everything. I'm in the center of my family. I'm the center. If I break down, everybody else breaks down. I am it. I am she, I am her, so like I don't give a fuck about fucking Julie and Iowa. I don't give a fuck about this bitch, Like I don't give
a fuck what this bitch gotta say about me. Who the fuck is this bitch? Like do you know how much my bills are like, I am focused people like what keeps you motivated? My bills?
Bitch?
Do you know how expensive LA is? Yeah? I don't live in LA and New York? Do you know how expensive this shit is?
Like?
This shit is not a game. I don't give a fuck. And that's important to know too, is that what I eat don't make you shit and vice versa. I come from a fucking era where we understood that, Okay, the dicks I fuck don't make you nut. Why are you so Why are you so into the dicks like lee, Like, focus on your plate, bitch, eat your food, what's on your plate? Because chances are we don't make the same money. We're not in the tax in the same tax bracket.
We're not fucking the same kind of niggas. Chances are you're doing way worse than me. Get off my dick, bitch, and go do something that's gonna make your life better. It's important to tend to your own garden. It's important to really focus in on your life. Stop worrying about what I'm doing with the next bitch doing with this who gives off? Fuck? I don't know what any of these holes are. I don't know what anybody's doing. I only know what I'm doing because if I take my
eyes off the prize, my whole family falls. I cannot afford to invest in anybody else's life well being. I sure as fuck cannot be in anybody else's pussy but my own. I don't care who you fuck. I don't. I don't give a fuck about nobody, and anybody who cares so much about other people's lives to me, I always ask them this, while you're caring so much about other people, who's caring about you? Who's really looking out and caring? No, Because here's the deal. You said it earlier.
Nobody's coming to save you. Who the fuck wakes up in the morning and is like, I wonder how Jamila is doing. It's gonna be you, it's gonna be Erica, it's gonna be your man, might be your mamam, be your daddy, whatever. But the rest of the world doesn't wake up. All these people here love you, guys, but you don't wake up and think, I hope Jamiala is okay?
Did she eat today?
Does she need money? Is she okay? Should I send her something? Like? Nobody because we all have our own ship. No, one's thinking, no one's coming to save you, No one's thinking about you, and no one's coming to rescue you. So you need to be able to self rescue.
Self rescue, come back to the rescue.
Is that?
What's the affirmation of the day. Yeah, we usually ask our guests to share an affirmation. Do you have one? Is it that.
I have so many affirmations that I really like. I don't know which one I think I gave one last time. I'm trying to think of something. I have like twenty seven of them that I teach my coaching clients, and we have them and we go through it all. I think. I think for me, it's a very simple one and it helps me every day in making my decisions. And it's it's three words, and then what.
Then what was this? I think this might have been the same.
I'll give you another one. No person, no problem, no person, no problem. So a lot of times we have problems, we think we have problems. We don't have problems. We have people. And when you delete the people, you delete the problems, like do you have a problem disappear like.
Do you have a problem problem?
Do you have a problem, or do you have a baby daddy. Do you have a problem.
We cut the baby daddy.
They don't want to be Do you have a problem.
That might be that.
Personal problem, because here's the deal, Like men want to fuck you, but they don't want to be fathers. You make them fathers and they don't want to be. A man will say he wants to be a dad, but he really don't want to be. Most men don't want to be married and they don't want to have children.
It's interesting someone actually asks a question. So now that you said that, okay, yeah, this advice question, this is actually on.
Also, some of these men are bisexual and they really want men and they don't really want you. Okay, And I've learned that firsthand. Some of these men really want dick and they really don't want you to say.
That really quickly. So this is an advice question Tribe at Patreon.
If you haven't subscribed to Patreon, are already by now listening to this episode, I want to go ahead and encourage you one more time. Go to patreon dot com, backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices, get in.
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You're adding it contribute to the conversation.
These questions have been phenomenal, so I'm appreciatives. This question comes from a thirty one year old female. I was with my boyfriend for five years. He broke up with me because I wouldn't terminate my pregnancy. What advice would you give me. I'm currently two mens pregnant and would like to self rescue and be happy.
I think that if women want children, we're better off having children at sperm banks because okay, hold on, hold on, no, listen. Out here in LA we have California Cryo Bank. I know this because I because.
I know this.
You can pick out your baby. You can see the baby picture of the man who donated. You can see what his degrees are, you can go through all the stats. You're laughing, bitch, but listen. Some of you want babies, and what you don't want is the men. You don't want what comes with the babies.
Well, I think that they do. It's just the men rising to the occasion.
You know what.
I think?
What I really love it all time alone.
They're never going to rise to the fucking occasion.
So automatically I didn't want a baby.
I had a man and we made a baby and I and I.
Want you also backward. Listen to me. Stop wanting men.
I was twenty seven.
They're never going to rise to the okay, so let me just let's just go through this right now. The men are not the prize. It's not what you want. Relationships should not be the goal. They should be the byproducts of your goals. So for instance, you don't want a man. You want to go to Paris and you want to learn about art and get into.
Culture, and you get if it's on Falcony culture art, sick Frenchman.
And you just happen to run into somebody seeking it.
It's coming to you when you're ready. You're not out on the prid. Oftentimes, when you look deeply and you're looking for stuf.
You're not going to find it.
It's when you're at ease, that's when you're feminine, at your softness, that you're going to invite in what you need.
And I.
So they're not the goal. They are the byproduct of the goal. Got it too. Some women are getting into relationships just because they want children. Some women are very much so I've seen that a lot, and they're forcing themselves into relationships that they really shouldn't be, especially women, especially women over thirty five going into their forties, or they're forcing themselves into relationships because they want to have children.
If that's the case, bypass the relationship. Go to your local cryobank, pick out your sperm, Spend five hundred dollars. Go to your gynocologist. He'll put it in for you. Boom, you're pregnant. No fucking you don't have to deal with the bullshit.
They want babies, but they also want You're not gonna get it.
You're not gonna get it home. You're not gonna get it. You're not gonna get it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. How what's the divorce rate?
Hi?
How many women are you seeing on Instagram crying their eyes out about the ruins of their marriage and it's not girlies, curlies. How many statistics do you need before you realize the system is broken. You're not going to beat the system. You're not going to be the only person whose marriage works out. It's not nineteen forty seven. Like, the men have too many options, and a lot of them want men. We are laughing, also, we are serious. A lot of the men want men I know because
I've dated them. They love Dick. I know because I've given it to them. She's a strap on. Her name is Pinky. I've had it for a while. I'm telling you right now, these men love Dick. I'm not making this up. Have your children because you're gonna end up alone anyway.
Do you think it's a bet?
Don't fuck the relationship bypass the drama?
PA, If you want children, if yet to decide what was Wilson important to you? If children is most important to you, because you're running out of time biologically, right, don't worry about the man. Don't force yourself into a relationship because you want to find old them later. Right. Once you have your baby that you've chosen, right, then you find your man later.
And you're actually more equipped to find your man later in life because you're more equipped, you've done more healing, you're not as stupid, you're just like you're less able to put up with some bullshit. I do feel like there's no way the twenty seven year old me had the tools.
Well, you know what, it makes me think about how motherhood is such an initiation and it's not an initiation because there's the men are involved. It's an initiation because you have this experience between you and your body and this child and then you enter into this space. So like, yes, it's nice to have the support of the masculine of Absolutely, I don't believe that, like kids don't need their fathers.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying that there is an initiation that women go through singularly as women when we give birth, and that sometimes that's what you're seeking, and that's what you need in order to then go find your man right and then sometimes it doesn't have to happen like Ryan partnership that way. I just need to go through this initiation, have this child, this experience, and then andy and then.
Imagine the mental preparation you've already had, like I'm gonna get pregnant alone, I'm gonna get Essentially, that's what's because you're doing it anyway, because you do it with this illusion with the guy.
I stop being delusion all Delulu was not the answer.
Oh my god, you live the programming because you're supposed to do that. Even though I when I got pregnant, I called my home girl, I said this nigga bitch and I'm pregnant.
She said, he's still think that's the truth.
He thinks of your bitch, thinks.
To your slat and he thinks your bitch, and it's not going to change. You have a baby, and I said, bet you're right.
And then I proceeded to have a baby with the nigga who called me a slatiner bitch. And guess what he did probably still call me a Slatin bitch after and he touched me in my face, and there was a lot of trauma that had to be healed from it in order to leave.
Because I need to imagine if you had just gone to the sprum bank.
I wasn't mentally prepared to be a sing I'd rather be a try. I tried so hard to get punched in my face and then be a single mom when I could have just not got punched in my face and I could.
Have just said, this is this is what you're this is what we're doing.
I mean, I probably would have never happened because programming. But I was not going to cryobank if I didn't get pregnant.
But that is listen, I see both sides.
I see I e both sides, but I also understand like the women that women that want to have the baby right now, go have the baby, go plant go like she said, go to the cryobank, Go to the cryobank.
I saw some ads on Instagram, kind body or some shit. I don't fucking know.
You're probably getting you too, You're getting I keep getting fed for they're spending millions of dollars because everyone says, kind.
I must know how old people are. Oh my god, they can probably be.
Like literally trying.
It's not that I am forty four and like really get bitches who are like, fuck, I gotta have a baby.
But it might be you just need your your spirit is and your body is asking you to go through this initiation. So honor it and then figure out the other part later because you can. We're proof that you can.
Just know.
It's not easy.
It's not it's not going to be great. And when you do it, you're going to maybe sometimes wish you had a man.
Guys, no you're not home.
You might you might to take the baby, take this. Take babies.
Do men take babies brong?
Sometimes yes they do, and they.
Can plain and they call you for every thing and got that break.
Yes, at least you got the bitch least don't listen to Eric listeners in Vegas right now with her dad, and I'm so happy about it than your women together. Just a personal assistant, baby daddy. I'm okay with that because I got a break. If I had a cryo baby, I'd have no one to take this goddamn baby.
You have girlfriends, you have family and a tribe.
That's the The whole other thing is that you don't.
Have a try your tribe.
Don't have a cryo baby.
Tribe that's important.
Don't have a cryo baby unless you have a tribe that and they need to maybe sign contracts.
They need Maybe.
I'm just saying, there's time, just like there's steps.
Hold on, you should ask you guys are doing too much because also there are women. Okay, let's go back a little bit. Black women are the most agreed in the country. Okay, black women the highest educated group in this country. Yes, black women are out earning black men.
Amen.
Okay, black women can afford childcare, we can afford nannies, we can afford help, We can do this. We also have family and friends. You don't need a man to have your baby. Would be nice to have a man who can do things. Yes, but overwhelmingly we are seeing that men do not want to be fathers. They're not planning these babies with you. You're planning them with your fucking self the minute. And even the ones who think who purport to be planning the minute you pop up pregnant,
they're like, we can't do this, Okay. It is important to understand our biological need is different than theirs. They can have children into their nineties, it doesn't matter for them. We only have a short amount of time. So if you want to have children, have your baby, and sometimes you just gotta get into a quick situation, get your baby,
be out, like, just be the fuck out. I think where you give yourself toil in trouble is where you are trying to make men who don't want to be fathers to your baby participate in the raising and financial responsibility of your baby. I think it is important to understand and to when someone asked earlier about how I've taken care of myself, I never put my first son's father. There was no court, there was no child so any kids, I'm never gonna go to court. There will never be
child support. I will never Cha'll never fucking contact you. I don't give a fuck about you. You are, as my father would say, the bag I brought the groceries home in Okay, the groceries are for me. You're the bag. You're the one that had to make this come to fruition for me. This is for women who aren't in loving, caring relationships. This is for the women who want babies before they can't have babies anymore, or before they get to a certain age.
This is this is not her, though she's pregnant right now.
But she says she doesn't anything to do with it, and I don't force it.
Don't don't force it.
If this is your choice, and you and he told you he don't want a baby, and continuing.
But if you want the baby, leave him the fuck alone.
Yeah, let him be. Don't force anyone to do anything.
Yes, leave him the funck alone. It's okay to raise a baby by yourself.
Then, so then are you saying if that's if that's what you want to do, you don't want to don't try to get child support. Don't try to.
I personally am not a child support girly. I but I make enough money to not do so, and I don't force babies on people if I'm not going to take care of them by myself. So sometimes again, some men are just the groceries you. So some men are just the bag you bring the groceries home in. They're just the conduit, right if this person wants a baby, I.
Mean, my question is they've been together for five years? Have they not had this conversation before?
Ye? Have you guys had a woman's together? Is that a man's together? Yeah?
I'm curious about what the together like?
Right? Because okay, guys, girl, I wish I could just shake all of you. If you ask a woman if she's in a relationship, she'll say yes. Sometimes you ask that man, he'd be.
Like, nah, yeah, that's true.
So like, her together may not be his together.
Would you call that delusion?
No, because men will trick you into thinking that you're in a relationship, but he is someplace else entirely. He might have two or three different relationships happening that are separate. So like, at the end of the day, if he's not with it, it's her decision on whether her body, her choice, whatever she wants to do. She's doing what she wants to do. But I'm not for I'm not a child support girly. I'm just not. I don't have the energy. I don't give a fuck about it. I
make enough money. And if you can't support your child yourself, then don't have your fucking child. Because what I'm not gonna do is be in court every two weeks trying to take some scumbag dirt nigga down for three hundred dollars. That's the fuck. I'm not gonna like them. Let me tell you, I don't give it's my bague.
It's funny. That's just right now.
Because I saw someone else, a girl that I know she'd made a reel yesterday or so two days ago about like never put my baby daddy on child support, like all the ways, like all the assumptions you might have about her life. And I wrote in my I wrote it down in my phone because that actually annoyed me, because I took a really long time to put my baby daddy on child support. And now I'm like, I wish I would have done it sooner. I wish I
would have held this, held him accountable sooner. And because I didn't, I got into the relationship thinking that we were doing this together. So I think a lot of people are not necessarily think can I raise this child alone? Like no, because I'm not entering into this partnership thinking that I'm raising this child alone. I thought we were getting married, I thought we were planning a life together. I was not necessarily financially prepared to have the baby
because you told me, don't worry, I got it. I'm going to take care of us. And now I'm in this situation where I'm like, fuck, you know. So when I when I saw that, I was like, I don't think I think that you have to move according like and you said, like, this is just my this is my testimony. I think you have to move according to whatever the agreement is that you had with that person.
If that person said we're doing this together, put that nigga on child support because you said we're doing this together. And now I've had this baby, and now I'm not going to be the sole person responsible. Yes, I'm gonna be I'm gonna rise to the occasion. And I think that's what and what a lot of single moms realize they have to do. And that's why we have this platform where we've had to empower ourselves and empower women to take responsibility and say fuck it, I don't need you.
I'm going to figure it out.
But in the interim of me fucking figuring this shit out, put that nigga on child's you bridge the contract.
Yeah, and if you can't afford and if you can afford the child without this person, I mean whatever, Like whether you could or couldn't and you had entered into this agreement together, that's on you.
But I feel like there's a lot of women that don't put their baby daddy on child support out of fear of looking like that girl or looking like you know, they are being worried about needing someone. And it's like, we made this child together, and we agreed to do this together. And I think that, like, I don't know, for me, I had a lot of shame and guilt around even going to court, like being like I don't I don't want to do it.
I don't want him to think that I'm a gold digger.
And I'm like, what the fuck he thinks thought he was a good dad.
You know.
So I think that, like, like you said, like it's you have to find your your sweet spot in that in that understanding and I will say too though as someone that went through the process of getting child support.
It is an ugly process. It made me feel disgusted with myself.
I literally had to become a private investigator of this nigger like look taking screenshots of him buying diamonds like he can afford it, you know, like this.
It was gross. I was like, I hate that I have to Why why.
Are you even putting me in the position that I have that You're avoiding your responsibility so deeply that I even have to go to the process of going You're so vain and stupid that I can even have the opportunity to screenshot. But this is you're making me go so low. But you're such a scum that I have that's what I have to do to prove that you're making money, so that you allocated a properly And.
And and of course hopefully those that those feelings and for me, those feelings have they motivate you to them be like, let me figure this shit out, because I don't want to ever have to fucking ask you for shit, you know, And so hopefully that is I don't want to say hopefully that's the goal. Hopefully the goal is that you guys can copare it together, and you guys can equally be responsibil responsible for the child.
But in the case that it's not, do what the fuck you have to do?
Yeah, and we always do because that's what women do. We figure it the fuck out.
Yeah.
And honestly, does he even have any money? Because I'm not.
Going a like out of my way to go get your fucking one seventy five a month. But it sounds like that, But it sounds like in this particular situation. I don't know what the conversation have been before in their relationship, but I'm assuming they have talked about children if they've been together for five years in a relationship that they both knew that they were in. Yeah, and
perhaps like she's very shocked. I don't know if she's still in the chat as of now, shocked and surprise that he doesn't want to have a baby with her. But I just feel like, if you're choosing to continue with the pregnancy and knowing that this person is not maybe going to participate in the raising of this child,
then you are. Now it's a new terms and agreement, there's a new contract that's being made, and the contract is that you are the sole provider of this child because he's telling you what his where, his where?
His mind is that yeah, And I think that.
That too, like for women where I when I see that this happens, are men feeling trapped in in in relationships through pregnancy?
Like I feel for men sometimes I'd be like, why the fuck? Why would you do that?
But then again it's like, well why did you not? In the bitch?
Okay, but because it feels.
A contributed we all participated, and maybe you need to have a terms and agreements beforehand, so you know, what the fuck?
Even though I haven't abided by this law because you know, condoms, you know, but like I condoms you know generally, Like I think, like sometimes she starts having a good night, like as you go to the club and you meet a nigga, he's fine as hell, you fuck and raw, and it's just like.
You you just end up nutting at her, I think, And then you just get emotionally attached to the baby when you're not even emotionally attached to this person, And that's confusing for a man.
Don't and I don't, I don't say. And that's where I.
Agree with the men where I'm like, what the fuck? Well, you had a one night stand, bitch, Like, what where did you get that? I wanted to be your baby daddy.
Don't have unprotected sex with that we both agree to this?
And women, yeah, women, I would be acting crazy.
No, I think it's nuts. I don't.
I don't really agree with having kids with someone who doesn't want a kid, because I mean, because I'm not. I don't want to force this on you unless you're like, I'm totally okay with walking away and doing it solely. If you don't, if you're not okay with doing it solely by yourself, then why y'all?
Okay, y'all, okay, nuts, yeah you guys, okay, Oh yeah, I'm good.
I don't want to force anything on anybody. But if unless you're oh, no, I'm great.
I got my child's porn. I'm great.
I wish I had times before, but he got superheated.
It's hot.
I'm just I just feel like this topic is there's a lot of layers to it, and and I think maybe I felt triggered by your what you saying like that, not because you've taken an autonomy over your decision, but I think that like a lot of women, when they push this narrative around, like I don't take chance to part, and I'm like, well, it's really just because.
I don't like drama, Like I just and honestly, I don't want a man telling me how to do anything. And once a man starts paying for shit, then he wants to like his opinions, and I think you, I don't want to. I don't give a fuck about a nigga gotta say about shit. So it's easier for me if I just beat it because I don't want you calling me on some I think the baby should go to this school. I don't give a fuck what you think.
Like I'm that person. So that's just me though, like I'm super me though, Like so everybody else has their own thing. I don't like men. When men start talking to me, I'm I'm not gonna lie. When men start talking to me, I get angry, like shot the fuck up on everything. But that's just me, and so everyone has their own journey. I just don't like men's opinions on anything, especially the raising of the I don't want their input on anything.
And if you take the money, then you have to do then there's.
Input, and I don't want input, and that's.
That's just me.
I don't want input. I don't I don't need you, I don't need your money. I don't need it. So that there's that we're good, and I don't want the input on anything. If I ask a question, then answer my question. But I don't like the the unsolicited input that sometimes happens. I just like to live my life the way I want to live my life, and I don't like men interjecting and how I'm living my life or how I'm doing things. And that's just me personally, and that's just me as a mother, as a woman.
I just I just want men to be quiet and just do what I tell them to do. But I'm also very domn that way, and so that's just my lifestyle. That's not every one's lifestyle. I like to boss men around, choke them out, like it's just a thing that I do.
Cheers to living life on our.
Own terms, a little bit left on your own.
Terms, our own terms, right, Women living life on their own terms, no matter where you fall in the domination spectrum.
That's just me. But I understand I do understand why women go through the process. Also, don't like stress. It is. It's hard, like going to court is just hard.
It is.
It was, and I pray, I thank god it didn't take too too long. And that's why I tell women what they do go down that path, just be prepared.
It's not cute.
You feel really gross throughout it. And I almost gave up a few times, and I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad that I followed through and that I don't have to ask for shit and then it's just done and I don't have to think about it and we don't have to talk about it. We literally don't talk about money at all anymore. And that became a that became peace, and that became my peace in my life. But it didn't it didn't come without trials and a lot of self doubt and uncomfortability, and.
It was it was. It's not for everybody.
Yeah, I agree. So I think that to your point, if she goes forward, she has to understand there's a great possibility she'll be a single parent going through this, and she may have to go through the child support process in the court, and that's difficult and it's hard, but it's worth it. In the end hopefully and everyone, but also too like she doesn't have to, she doesn't want to, it's completely up to her and what she wants to do.
Yeah, do you re birth?
And we make the rolest.
Being a black woman, a black person, but just speaking about women in just in general, it's really difficult. And the concept, which is something I wasn't raised with, was just like, you have to work twice as hard to get the same thing. I didn't grow up with that I work half as much like and I don't want to, and I want the same things. I want to live soft, I want to live easy. I want to work half as much and get the same things. And for me,
that works. And then when anyone questions me, I just tell them I'm tapping into my white privilege because.
I am.
I am, because I am.
That's it.
I'm going to do very little. I'm going to earn just as much, and I'm not going to work myself to the bone. I'm not going to miss out on my family moments, I'm not going to miss out on community moments. I'm not going to miss out on life because I'm working myself to the bone to earn every single thing that a mediocre white man has to work two hours to build, and I'm working for seven days for the same thing he does in two hours. I just literally refuse to do it. I think that, and
it's really it's really interesting to me too. How like in American society, they only show slavery as the history, and that's not fair.
It's intentional, though it is intentional. If you think your history begins there, then you'll be blinded by what you And the.
Fact that they call people of color minorities when you're actually the global majority is wild. Like you may be the minority in your community, even if you were the minority in America, globally, you're the majority because people of color. It's all colors.
So that's how big we know Africa is.
On the map exactly. You're the global populations. So you stop calling yourself a minority and you start calling yourself a global majority. And it changed. It just shifts the beliefs. I cannot believe. I still can't how many people are pro You keep seeing the word programming, and I cannot believe that people are still programmed, like you're chat GPT, like you've taken information and then that's the only thing, you know, and that's wild system.
That's what you've adopted as true. No investigation.
Well that's no investigation, yeah, exactly, Well you.
Have to have the brain of an investigator. I do believe it's interesting. Like sometimes people just come into the world curious and clear and like, are.
You sure this is what God is? Or like you know kids.
Generally and like, but then you become like hypnotized in a trance. If you've never seen anything different, How could you know it exists unless you have the imagination that is curious and that is like once to create and every And I do think, like you talked earlier about, you know, the majority of people, unfortunately, the majority of people are easily programmed.
That's so weird to me.
Me too, it's so.
Weird to me.
I still don't understand.
Well, we've been like a great marketing test. I feel like, specifically in America.
Like this is like marketing. It's psychological.
I mean, it's well, it's psychological warfare. It's marketing that they've marketed towards us to believe, to tap into believe.
It's advertising, but advertising.
I just want you to know, you guys, it's like the like hypnosis of this subconscious brain. They studied your brain and subliminal messages so that you could easily be progressed.
You knew how many times you needed to hear something to believe it. Like they know the way you need to hear it. They know the like the pronunciation of the words that you need to say it in a certain way. They know the cadence of the conversation that you need to hear in order.
To believe it.
That's why even as a public speaker, there's are what you get trained in order to understand how to speak and tap into someone's psyche. When you're a salesperson, you know what words, what words to say, how many times to say it, how to pronounce it, like put nunciations on certain words. Even when I was doing Home Shopping Network and I got all this coaching, it was like say this like really tappen, like not bring your voice down down and then bring them in and it's like subtle.
It's very subtle, and it's and it's a beautiful skill to have. You have it.
I do have, Yeah, you do use it often.
You have it.
And yes, I had media training during confessions and honestly, as an orator, and just as study or just as a studier of oration and as a reader, I understand words, the power of words, and how to use words to make people feel what I want them to feel.
And hook them.
So it's important to me for people to understand that if you hate me I wanted you to hate me, You're doing what I want you to do. You're not going against the grain, you're not bothering me. I want you to do that because I make money off that. I am now relevant. And also the visceral reactions, so visceral meaning whether you're one way or the other doesn't matter.
I need you to have a visceral reaction. In order for me to tickle that visceral reaction inside of you, I have to use certain words in a certain way at a certain time, and that is the genius of a wordsmith. So everyone is doing exactly what I want them to do, how I want them to do it, when I want them to do it, because I control them and they don't control me. So then that goes back to what we talked about earlier. And no matter
how people feel, I'm still in control. You think that you're controlling me by your opinion but your opinion is based on what I said, when I said it, how I said it, where I said it when I said it. Because everything I do is on purpose with purpose. So therefore, when I did Pierce Morgan, I haven't said anything and off social for almost a year. That was intentional. Then I waited till the decision from the court to be able to come out and now start talking. That's intentional.
So now your reactions. Everything that I'm saying is intentional. When I was asked if me and Diddy had sex and I said not, to my recollection, that's intentional. For your reaction is what I want you to have. I am manipulating everybody here because I understand number one psychology, number two the English language, and I'm a fucking genius and which you ever fucking forget it?
Period? Amen, I'm hooked. Got me.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you hypnotize the odds, And now I'm hypnotized.
It's true.
And I went to I was like in junior college and I are like just my first freshman year, and I did psychology and I started to learn the the development of media and the development of marketing and advertising and when the TV hit the market and radio hit the market, that there was also a deep study of the psychological brain and the subconscious. It's not like literally, I in the car, I turned down commercials like if then radios on. I never listened to programming. I'm so aware.
Even like when Luna was a baby, I started to notice if we would like drive by Jumba Juice, she'd be like juice and like how her brain was associating the logos at such a young age. I was like, Oh, this shit is for real, and like how like the Mermaid of like even things that we don't even remember in this lifetime, there are things and symbolisms and colors and shapes that trigger, you know, knowledge of past lives and like our subconscious on a deep, deep level.
So don't fuck around. That shit is real and true.
And I spent many years working as a senior copywriter in corporate marketing, so I am well versed in obviously marketing and anything copywriting, anything words is like my vibe.
Yeah, there's an emotional Like there's an emotional aspect to that as well, where you know how to like ooka in that hook in that customer early and then keep them there, keep them coming.
The bob is bobbing.
Okay, as someone said in the chat, the bob is the main character.
Is it bobbing?
I think it's tarot time? Okay. I would love for you to pick a card please, and thank you. You to close your eyes, your hand over there.
Okay, give it some energy.
Ham.
It's two days ago. We're still in it. Yeah, the Yeah, we did Capricorn.
The World, the World.
See she pulled the world card, not.
Me pulling the world.
Let me see what does it look like? What do you? What do you when you see it? What do you see?
I see a beautiful brown woman with wavy hair as I have, and she seems to be dancing, twirling with a snake. So me, bitch, so me give me tattoos. I do have tattoos?
How many?
I have one? Really not really big. I have a tattoo that goes from hip bone to hip bone around my back of naked nymphs in a garden, really wing winged, naked naked.
Yeah I'm not to see that later.
So this is my card. So it's the world. There's a lion, there's a steer, there's an eagle. There's a woman, yeah, what the fuck. But honestly, me pulling the world is so me, it's so me coated.
You said you're the center of your world.
I'm the center. I'm the center I am.
I'm just giving very much center of the world energy in the circle of this reef.
I mean, you're like the beautiful glow up example of staying in your.
Own bubble, and like, how beneficial it could be. I can't hear, I can't see ship.
I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
With you people.
I don't know what's happening. I am. I'm somewhere in upstate.
New York and the Catskills Hudson Valley, not with a white man at.
All, totally the white men at all, and and and my gardens and my gardens.
Yeah, I'm just living a different line. I have no idea what's going on with a few people.
You're like, no, don't happen, there's nothing going on.
What's happening down here?
Tell us what's happening with the world, Jamila.
Do you know when the world card appears in a tarot reading, you are glowing with a sense of wholeness, achievement, fulfillment, and completion a long term project, period of study, relationship, or career has come full circle, and you are now reveling in the sense of closure and accomplishment. This card could represent graduation, a marriage, the birth of a child, or achieving a long held dream or aspiration. You have
finally accomplished your goal or purpose. Everything has come together and you are in the right space, doing the right thing, achieving what you have envisioned. You feel whole and complete now. The World card invites you to reflect on your journey, honor your achievements, and tune into your spiritual lessons. Celebrate your success and bask in the joy of having brought your goals to fruition. All the triumphs and tribulations along your path have made you into the strong, wise, more
experienced person you are now. Express gratitude for what you've created and harvested. Finally, make sure you don't rush into the next big project. Celebrating your journey will set you up for success when you're ready for your next challenge. If you have not quite reached this point of completion,
then you are very close. You may still need to add a level of understanding to graduate to a higher level and enjoy real success, look back at past experiences, acknowledge how far you've come and what you've learned along the way. How beautiful for your twentieth year anniversary of this, of this like epic book, your first like like your first published book, and now you're here, and it's like it's still relevant, it's still important.
Everything you said was to be true, and like.
Everything I said, like I warned you guys, Like when I go through confessions and I I'm reading bits and pieces of it, I'm like, how did you guys not see what I was saying? Like, bro, I told you what was happening. I told you there's some shit going on that's not cool. But you're so you're so in this country, so you demonize sex so much that you were so stuck on the sexual part. You're not looking at what was happening around the sex, you know what
I mean? And and sex is so natural to me and such a regular part of life that I didn't understand the demonization of the female autonomy. I didn't realize that the United States hates female autonomy. I didn't understand hates it. And then when you go back to look at like the feminine product, the feminine product ads of like the nineteen fifties, forties, forties, fifties, sixties, How they demonize women's bodies, How they told us to douche with lysol.
What the lifesaw douche ads are wild, bro, How they said that our bodies were disgusting, How our husbands were leaving us because we stunk. Have you seen these in this Have you not maybe revisit that life saw feminine product. You literally had the douche with light saw for your husband to stay with you. There was a there was a you guys drank at the same time that was
that was crazy. There were Folgers coffee ads in the early nineteen eighties maybe late seventies that were all geared to the woman who just did everything wrong and the one right thing she did was make Folgers coffee. It was like ads for so many decades were about how awful women were.
Programming not even it's the programming. Yeah it's subliminal, but not even like pretty much we hate you.
So now, even though we were not alive at this time, you have to think about who was alive at this time, and then those are the people who raised you. So the grandmothers who raised your mothers, the mothers who raised you, and so the programming carries on. And then you have to think about also the programming of the nineteen eighties when AIDS hit really big and how sex became bad and like you had to have sex with your married partner or whatever it was, or you know, you couldn't
have casual sex because casual sex was killing people. And so we still got this programming decades later, even though we now understand how to protect ourselves and that you know, we can have casual sex without dying, like it doesn't have to be so dire to where a single woman is going to die if she's having sex with people that she's not married to. But that programming, those are the people who raised you. And so you know, you're you're getting this kind of hand me down programming and
you're wondering. Some like me comes along and you're like, what is this shit? Like what do you mean sexual autonomy? And you can have sex with whoever you want to, whenever you want to, however you want, wherever you want to, and it really upset people and fuck them, I don't care. But listen, no matter what relationship, non relationship. I still hold on to my sexual autonomy. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want, how I want, and no society will take that from me.
Sometimes it just so happens that the sex that I want is with one person, and that's what I want, and the option here, and the thing about feminism is about options and that I don't have to do what you tell me, or you tell me, or you tell me. I do what I tell me to do. And sometimes what I want to do is to be with just one really awesome, amazing person and only have sex with that one person for years and years and years and years. And that's my choice as a feminist.
Mm hmm. That's the direction you're going in.
You want to just sometimes I want I don't know's I'm heavy on this.
Sometimes sometimes I'm old battle gang bank.
I don't know, to me not to me? Whatever I want.
A nice little gang bank can go a long way.
Are you gonna tell us about your.
Am I guess I can share my HOORI now.
Who stories?
This is the horror story?
You know?
Every time every time Elizabeth comes, I feel motivated as you bring you back from the garden.
And even though she's.
Literally has a pearl on her neck right now, she has a pearl and alais one single pearl on her neck with her low cut v neck exposed, just a little classic cleavage, little little pearl.
What's the matter with the pearl? I'm clutching my.
One.
This is clutching my pearl, Like these holes are crazy, crazy. But tell me about your m M.
Last time you were here, I shared a story three years.
Ago where I went to my fuck buddy's house and he had a trans woman there and like we like tried to have a threesome. And that was the story I told you last time because the day we interviewed, I almost slept in because I just come home from that and Orlando was calling me from New York like, bitch, wake up, and I was telling him that I was.
I told my boyfriend about it.
But now my boyfriend's my fiance and he's here, and now my horry includes him.
Aren't you happy you moved here?
Babe?
They don't have to hear about my.
I'm lying.
He's happy like a pig and ship like he's so fucking happy, Like what would you gonna be doing?
A desk and ship.
You were gonna be in the Bronx somewhere, like what was you gonna be doing nothing? He would be doing nothing, not you went best? I doing nothing? Like what do you mean, Mila saved your life?
I did.
In the words of Ken the Man, I'm your first bab bitch. I love Ken the Man, by the way, I love number one song right now is First the First. I'm that nigga first bab bach Sorry.
Let me drink my butt like not me thinking I'm like, I'm mine. He never really had a bad bitch before me.
Thinking about it like you're a white man's first bad bitch.
Yeah, you swear it's a white man like.
Latino, what is he?
But I think I'm his first bad bitch? Like what you mean?
Listen to First by King the Man Relea here, I Love the Man. You don't really feel that one. I'm a I'm a meth Sorry. So you know, a couple of weeks ago, it was my birthday and I was going to have like a little birthday party at the house, and then we extended our trip in Costa Rica. So we got back the day of the birthday party, and I was like, this is not realistic and my homegirl had and she was like, you know that guy that we facetimed on so and So's birthday, Like, do you
mind if I talked to him? And this is one of my like my back in the day niggas that you know, I've know him for a long time that I used to fuck on. And I was like, no, he's a really nice guy and he has a big dick, you know. And I was like, actually, I was going to have a party on Saturday, but instead of having a full blown party, let's just have a full person party because I'm trying to read make this other foursome that I had last year. But now it's my birthday,
so I have a reason to push for it. Orlando was like like, oh, it is your birthday, okay. So I was like, yeah, it's my birthday. So I got hurt or agree. I got him to agree, and so the plan was that we're going to have I called it a kinky kickback, like that kinky kickback at my house. And but then I started to get cold feet. I started to get worried. I was like, you know, I'm like I used to be a lesbian, but I'm not so lesbian, Like now I'm like, I don't want to like.
Necessarily have to eat pussy.
And I started getting in my head, it's my friend, and then I was like, shut the fuck up.
Okay.
So anyway, as a night started to progress, cleaned up, and then I realized, like she kept bullshitting. She was like, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to the bar. I'm still at the bar, and I was like, okay. The guy pulled up and we like walked to the store, and you know, I live right by a sex shop because the and so we made a detour in the sex shop.
We're like laughing, like, oh, what's that?
You know?
Four play sex shop?
But then I was like, can't believe this bitch is gonna leave me? Like how am I supposed to like seduce two men? Like this is gonna be like awkward. I was just like I was skidding in my head, you know. But then when.
Exactly I don't even know what I was worried about.
Then we got there and we're like chilling and eating and drinking, smoking a blunt and it was really nice. They they surprised me with a cake. They had a cake and a candle and they sing me not happy. I don't I don't accept happy birthdays anymore. We just sang the Jamaican happy Birthday song. It's an anniversary, not a birthday because I'm twenty four. Jamaican happy birthday song, Happy birthday friend one mo yeah, put on them, Oh give thanks for life.
Oh I'm from Saint Thomas. Honey, we don't do it.
I'm gonna have this thing.
That song, Yeah, I need, I need that in my life.
You don't need the birthday song so fucking ritual that ages you.
So they sang.
Orlando did my favorite karaoke song, mister Boombastic Super Important, and I got really excited over the birthday. I was just like, wow, this is so specially you guys like coordinated behind my back because I I made a group chat and they mussa have like went on the side. And then we just came back from an epic Costa Rican couple's retreat. We just landed that day and I had three blue you like glow in the dark lights
and one package glow in the dark paint. So Orlando's like, let's do the glow with the glow in the dark. I was like, okay, Okay, that's the glow in the dark. I put a mattress in the middle of the living room in front of this huge mirror. We turn off all the lights. We turned on the blue lights, and then like they started painting me. And I was like, oh, I'm so cool. I got two niggas painting me. I'm naked,
I was smoking of lent. They're like putting powerful words on me, like power, pissy, insert here, you know here.
Oh, and so we did that and then we did like a little like tantric practice.
I put both their hands, was like, let's just take a moment, you know, before we like whatever we're about to get into. And then the guy or I like went to the bathroom and he was like I was like, can't with this.
Bitch show up. He's like, we're still going.
To do it. I was like, hell, yeah, we're going to do it.
One bitch, don't stop, no show right right. I'm like, yeah, we're doing it.
So then Lana came back and we like did a little tantic exercise and I was just like, put both their hands on my heart, on top of each other, and I was like, this is about pleasure, this is about freedom, This is about trust, about friendship, about love.
About me more importantly, I'm the center of the world today.
And then we're like yeah.
I was like, okay, everybody's breathe released the sound and they did and it was really cute.
You know.
He was just like, wow, I've never just like painted, Like I just not like what should I pay? I'm like whatever you want, and he was just like just really.
Like, this is a lot of words for a threesome. It's crazy crazy.
What's the last three cent you had?
First of all, your mother store, don't worry about me, don't mean so, don't rush. It's a lot though it's been some decades. But also it's a lot.
Bro.
Is this like a millennial three gen Z three? Because back in my day we just tutor ass and get to the business reason and ship and it's paint. They're all kind of glowing the dark.
What is this?
It's called an activation?
Oh my god, I called a birdie man in my living rooms?
Is an activation?
We had an activation before?
You mean, we need paint to active coach at the house.
Okay, we're almost there, when do tell me? Tell me who put it in first?
Like, I'm just trying to get and then after that we got in the shower.
Oh my god, oh my gosh, hush, let me tell my story.
This is my story, so crazy. Three some is this.
This is the new threesomes TikTok three.
This is how I start my TikTok.
I can tell my story three crazy, the others three cent.
There's a lot of pivotal words in this. That's a lot of.
Thousand and five crazy.
Shut the fuck up.
So then hours then the paint off.
Oh my god, the paint off of us, you bitch, you bitch.
There we get to Orlando. You would here for this bullshir.
We got in the shower and I was like, I put him in the shower.
I gave him a towel and like a wash clob, and I came back to the living room then report him with my man because I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. He was like, I'm gonna get in the other shower, and I was.
Like, oh my god, another shower, this too, shower, bed bit rich, just two showers, bitch.
We got in the shower.
For my story.
Girlies, who care about a fucking anticipation? She's trying to get grasped and hook them. Shut up, God, let the bitch live.
So me.
We're in the shower, and then I thought, you know, we were washing each other off, and then he text my plissy and I was like, oh no, did Orlando even give me permission to the Then I hopped out anyway, and then we said, let's go in the living room again with the blue light and put baby on. Let's put coconut oil all over ourselves so we could be like Heisha from Belly. So we did, and then Orlando said, all right, the shiny one. So then shiny she no
specifically that scene with her it's blue. So we did that, and then Orlando said took him to put a blindfold on the bed, two blindfolds, and told me come in there in twenty seconds, poor a drink and come in there. And then when I came in there, they were both on the bed naked with blindfolds on. And then I just did whatever I wanted and I sat on Orlando's dick, I said, on both of their faces.
And then to take his off.
The guy had his on, and I was like, should I take us off? He was like no, so you're just like so then so then we did the Eiffel Tower, which was really important.
To me because this white, ash old tower.
I'll show you, oh you'll show me.
Like one guys this way right, Okay, one the mouth, Okay, dick in the pissy right.
They go like this, No, one guy's here. One guys there.
They're touching hands so they can connect, like it's a bonding experience.
How they're like slapping each their's hands like this.
And I was like, let's look in the mirror because I can't take a picture.
So the way I would weak their asses. It was my idea.
First I was like, okay, touch hands, and then I was like, look what we're doing it.
So it's like a oh my god, I'm so old.
It's called the Eiffel Tower.
Okay, this young bitch told me five years ago, and I was determined to did my my Eiffel Tower on and they participated and then we just got it pop in and I had it was just really you know, we switched, you know, and it lasted a long time. The poor guy fell asleep. Mear Lando kept sucking and you know, he left around eleven am. And it was
just really beautiful and everything was about me. It got like my pussy ate my ass ate at the same time, and just a lot of things that you know, every girl shook it once a year in their birthday.
I like that. The Eiffel Tower, So.
If you guys haven't tried the Eiffel Tower.
Two men touching hands while I'm getting like roasted is not. It was like very like that's a wonder Twins ship.
Like it's activation of energy.
It was a tan trick.
Threesome activation was like divine, masculine.
And everyone's touching at the same time.
The guys are touching sort of like just not just enough to not be gay, so they just like them.
Their hands and we know you don't.
Want them to be inside each other.
I know that didn't happen. I just want them to be inside.
Do you watch do you watch a gay porn?
I love threesome porn where both guys.
I love by MMF two that's my favorite. By m MF oh bye me.
But then everybody's there's no hands off. I mean, obviously by my dating history. I love a bye guy.
I saw I was.
I watched porn last night a little bit just to get me going, and it's a little bit just a little bit, because I usually because I usually get annoyed and I end up turning it off. Then I just used my imagination. But I saw a video. There's a bunch of selections, and there was one where this girl was like in disguised dick and then the guy.
Was holding another guy's dick.
Speaking of that, what I love? That got some news from my gay friends last night. I saw one of our porn friends in an orgy and he's graduated, and he was fucking a bitch and jacking a dick off a dick like a man's dick porn?
Was he was? Was he not doing that before? He was touching mema?
Graduated?
Graduated?
Yeah, I graduated anyway, Sorry, did dressed up?
He dressed up like a we'll talk about later, Okay. Anyway, I saw that visual and I said, no, thank you. I don't want any parts of that. I don't have any interest in seeing any guys tracking off any other guys or putting dicks on anybody who holds no no that. I want all the attention to be on me, and you guys just couldnspire for my pleasure.
You guys don't need to be pleasing each other. It's just not. It's just not.
One of my favorite things about one of my exes was how many fingers he would take?
How many it was like three or four?
Which ex.
You know?
It was like this. It was like one of these how small or bigger hand is?
I could be a regular one of my recent excesses that you asked me about.
Interesting before that's seems like you might have done that before.
Did you train it at?
I didn't have to. It was it was already done for me.
Put do you put lou all over your hands and then you do that?
I didn't have to. He was just open and ready. He he's by he was he had boyfriends.
He was already lubed.
Yeah, he yeah, he's he's super clean. This other thing too, like he's super close. When I knew was that in the oral copulation part, like in the in the ring around a rosie part of the sexual intercourse. He was super clean all the time. So I knew that he douched. I knew that he cleaned his inside. And then I heard from someone in his community how open he was to man on man whatever.
Oh he didn't hear that from him?
No, he didn't tell me at first, okay, and then I asked him if we could have like a threesome or like a four sum and he said yes, but he wanted a man, and I was like absolutely yes. It was like, yeah, he wanted to have like another woman and another man.
Yeah, like a swinger of situation, but everybody is playing.
But yeah, So what I knew automatically from I didn't know at first when we first started seeing each other that he was that way, but other people knew. I don't listen. I don't know stuff like I'm not on the internet enough to know. I'm not in people's business enough, right, I don't do the gossip things. I don't know. I just thought he painted his nails because he was avant garde. I didn't know he paid his nails because he likes boys.
I didn't know. But when I found out, I didn't deter me because that just means that I could do more stuff, so that when we were in intimate situations, I was able to do more stuff. I was able to do butt stuff, which makes me really happy.
Her pink butting that she likes to bring me love, but you prefer by guys, so you could do butt stuff.
I do prefer by guys who I can do butt stuff. But I've also turned, not turned. But also there are some guys who have been by curious, who have been able to release their curiosity and like let me get into their butt.
Because is that releasing your by curiosity?
If you like a woman to get into your butt, are you releasing your by curiosity?
I think so. I think I think I am the gateway drug to the real penis pinky, then grab because if you're curious about stuff in your butt, once a man grabs his ankles during once a man grabs his ankles and like spreads his cheeks for me, I know that he's now open to all kinds of butt play, which is great. And then if he wants to be by curious with other men, I hope that I have given him the confidence to be able to do that, to explore his sexuality fully.
Well, the thing about any dildo is that it's never going to be as good as a real dick. So if you like a dildo, because let me ask you, I try to get this. I try to be lesbian for a long time, and I like real dick, So it just wasn't gonna work for me.
I was going to take a plastic dick.
But if you try a plastid dick and you're like that, you're gonna love a real dick.
Yeah, take it for me.
So there a been men that have started off regular, like closed minded, you know, like okay, and then over the years as we dated, I noticed the legs coming up up to the point where they're just holding their ankles at some point and just let and just give me carte blanche of of ass apple. And I love it. And I love that for them because I know that they're not free. I know that you're free.
I've freed you. Once the ankles meet the hands in the air, I freed you.
And now you can go and explore whatever that means for you, you know what I mean.
I do feel that men, men that often like.
Uh like, are hypocritical towards very sexual women. For the same amount of men that are hypocritical, they're also very curious and feel comfortable with sexual women because they're like, hey, can.
I tell you that?
Can you do this? Because you're like, oh, she's open.
She makes me feel comfortable if she will tell about her set life, if she's bold enough to talk about her sex life. Then I can tell my little secrets and then maybe she'll put her tongue in my ass and then maybe I like it, and then maybe like a little finger yeah.
And then they're like, why did you do this? You turn me out? I'm like, no, nigga, you asked for that, yeah.
And that's what I get too, is like sometimes people will ask, like, why why are so many men still attracted to me after everything I've said and explained and wrote about.
Because they want you to dom them.
They want to be free.
They love a dom mommy.
They want you to dominate.
But also they know that they're safe. They know that their proclivities are safe with me. They know that I've seen enough, done enough, I've been enough places two where there safe and they're not going to get judged for their curiosities with me. And I think that's really really important, and that's important for me too, so that whatever my curiosities are sexually, especially that I know that I'm safe and I'm in a safe space. And so there's no
shortage of men. There no shortage of like wealthy, powerful, successful men especially who feel as if they can explore their sexuality with just any old body because that any old person will tell. And so it's like, if you want to dress up like a baby and wear a diaper, you know.
And feast on Jamala's nipples.
Yeah, then then listen. I call Jamila right now, like we'll have something for that.
Yeah, exactly, Like, hey, gir out, but what time?
Okay, Okay, you're not gonna get judged. I'm not.
I'm not.
There's there's a level of non judgment that comes from fucking with free women that men seek. And I find that with religious men, nerdy men, men that act like they don't want then about that life, but secretly they want to be about that life.
And that that's real.
There, you could be hypocritical and you could think that everybody thinks you must let but that same nigg would be in my d MS or in my phone saying, hey, I heard you talk about ebony galore MMS five.
Yeah it's true. And then also too, there's the there's this thing that happens where men. Okay, so patriarchy hurts everybody. So patriarchal norms and conformities say that you have to marry a quote unquote good girl, and that that girl that a good girl. Has to have not had sex at all or have had sex with very few people. And so now you marry, you date, you marry the good girl, and the good girl doesn't know how, she
doesn't take it in the ass. That's a quote unquote bad girl thing, or it's a whatever thing, whatever your proclivities are. So then what happens is that then that man then cheats on his good girl with a quote unquote bad girl. And then you now you're getting divorced. Now you're losing everything.
Now to that set quote unquote sled exactly right.
But now you're losing everything because you married the good girl. The church, the church mom, the church.
Her wry.
But but but patriarchy says that you need to be with this person, and that becomes a problem. And so this is how patriarchy hurts everybody be because now you're dating and marrying based on what those standards are. And then you but you don't really want that person. You want someone who's going to make your toes curl, Who is going to make you climb up the wall, who's gonna make you climb it, Who's gonna suck you so wet, so hard, so long, Who's gonna use both her hands
and all of her throat. Who's going to take you in, Who's gonna make you just come down her throat? And like you want this?
Call me a little dirty bitch, yes, like.
A come dump type of bitch, Like you want this, bitch. But patriarchy says you can't marry that.
They want Men love slugs.
Men. First of all, men love sluts.
Men.
I wrote a book called men Love Sluts that I haven't published yet. Men love sluts. But then you marry the church marm because that's what that's what patriarchy says you need to marry.
And then you suck the slug behind her back, right, you lose trust.
Anyway, and then you lose everything. You're in divorce court. You're losing half of your money, you're losing your kids, you're losing your house, You're losing everything because you didn't marry the whore. I've been married three times, there's this is four. I am not in any shortage of husbands or wanna be husbands or fiances like men are clamoring to fucking marry me, becauset the end of the day, what you're gonna get is your food's gonna be coked.
Your house it's gonna be clean, Your dick's gonna be sucked, You're gonna get fucked, And whatever your proclivities are, whatever your weird shit is, it's not fucking weird to me. I'm down for whatever. You're completely fucking safe, And if you take care of me the way I need you to, you don't have to worry about anything else, like your your household, your everything is fucking safe. I want more men to feel safe marrying the whoors because they're gonna
keep you good. You're gonna wake up to dick.
Sucks, but not just marrying them, respecting the respecting.
Them them, yes, respecting, loving.
And making them feel a safe as they make you feel.
Absolutely, because not only you're gonna get your dig sucked and your your fucking breakfast, and you're gonna get all the things that you want, don't.
Because the non horrors are trembling in their fucking.
Imagine you spent all these years, the ones that nors that have worked so hard to not be a whore anymore, are stressed right now, be a horror because at the end.
Of the day, the man who gets you his balls are gonna be so fucking empty, like my man is never gonna have to wish he was gonna get some freak ship, like you're gonna get freak shit in the morning you wake up, I'm already on freak ship. You wake up like six am, I'm over your face. I'm
already dripping on your face. Your mustache is full of nut, Like I'm already on you at six a m. You're asleep and I'm fucking you already, like I'm on you, bitch, like I love you so much, but I'm there's nothing you can't propose to me that I won't at least consider. There's nothing that's not gonna get done, so I can Martha Steward this shit. I'm gonna be in the garden. I love the garden. I love to cook, I love to clean. I love laundry. Like I I like doing
household chores. It centers me just emotionally and just in my anxiety. I feel grounded by my household chores. But for fuck's sake, first thing in the morning, my man gets this pussy and he gets it in any way he wants, and he do whatever he wants to my body, Like that's my man. And like you want that bitch. You want a tea bag a bitch first thing in the morning. You wanta crawl on my face and tea exactly in my sleep. I wake up and I'm you
want that. I don't know what, but patriarchy again hurts everybody because patriarchy says, marry the virgin.
Marry you can't marry who you actually want to marry and who really makes your balls tingle. You want to marry the bitch next door even though she just make your balls tank.
You're gonna ruin her life, Bronna when he finds out you want to do the I am my map.
She's gonna fucking pass out when you find but she finds a porn category that you really like.
You're with the fucking anime and the weird shit, the monster. She's gonna be the monster.
With the roaches and the critters, like the weird ship, the family.
The pus is kind of just start, just start at holl Just start, just start at.
Hell, not go start at holl.
Were you like knowing that my man can finish his job, he can come home and it's a naked bitch me in the kitchen. Dinner's ready, Pussy's ready. Like whatever you want to do, bitch, do it like we're you're good and you're safe and you don't have to you know, you're not gonna be shamed for what you want. You're not gonna be ridiculed, You're not gonna be made to feel less than You're gonna be a whole ass man in this house. And it's really nothing that you can say to me that I'm gonna laugh at.
Or push to the side, or you're in an argument.
No, like you was taking Piggy last night.
Bitch, No, you're good. And me and Pinky we're good.
We're gonna hold space.
We're gonna hold space, me and Pinky. You're holding space for you. Me and my deal do a holding space for you, Like you're a good word, you know, And I think that that's important.
It is which brings me to him telling me like he was telling me like fuck my wife, suck that dick, and it's like really pumping me up, like to be a slundy little wife.
And I really I really enjoyed that.
Yeah, see you love love.
Amen.
Amen, sle you'll get married. You'll find the ring.
Cory, thank you for sharing our who I don't have any to share. I think we're out of town.
Are I just want to I just want to say the chat was it? Really? They liked my details? Okay?
Everyone that was Everyone that's listening enjoyed the story.
Well, thank you guys for listening and giving me a safe space to talk about it. And just for you coming back on. You know how much I love you and how proud I am of you. And every time I see you on the internet one year to the next, maybe when you're missing, I'm always happy to see you. I'm always happy to see you here. You always welcome here. And yeah, I'm so grateful our journey's crossed. This is so important to my sixteen year old aspiring author self.
This is like I made it.
Yeah, same, And I know I don't have to tell you to keep going, but just keep going.
I will do my best. It's hard. It's hard to keep going.
And when you build your mansion and the catskills invite us, we'll be right there.
Yeah, actually building my house right now.
Perfect, We'll come through. I'll do a sound bath. You got to come to our house and we'll yeah.
Yeah, you're the only person will drink white wine with at ten am.
You know, that's what we do. I appreciate you.
Thank you guys for joining us. You know here on Good Mom's Bad Choices. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you subscribe to Patreon patreon dot com, backslash.
Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Make sure you check out our upcoming retreats at the Good Vibe re Treat Good Mom's Bad Choices Backslash Retreats, And you can find us on Instagram and on the tiktoks and all of this.
Socials Are you back on social?
Like?
Where can our people find you? Where are you at?
Okay? So I'm kind of back on social, but not really. It's the same as before. It's Elizabeth dot Ovison. I just I don't like socials and I don't like being a slave to an algorithm, and I'm really more comfortable living my life.
Where can people find you? For coaching?
You can't know? Okay, so I got your number?
Big?
You can't how many clients you don't really have? Like a three to five?
I take three to five?
And how long are your coaching? Is it like months? Is it it's every month?
For we just go so's it's it's an hour, an hour to an hour and twenty minutes every single month forever. So I've had my girls now for several years, and that's it. Like it's just a very small group. I love that I'm different.
I don't.
I don't want to be available to everybody.
Amen.
I want to save my energy, and I.
Resonate with a certain discriminative awareness.
Yeah, I just stand. I just I'm not for everybody, and I understand that. So I'm just not as widely availab bull as people would want me to be. But that's because I don't fucking want to be where I want.
So I don't want to be You're healthy, I'm healthy.
Well, thank you for sharing your time, your thoughts, your energy here in the space. I appreciate your time. I appreciate your mind. Thank you, and I think the people here do as well. In our audience really really resonated with our last with our last episode together. So if you haven't listened to that episode, make sure you go check out the Woman who Slaps Back one.
That was so good. You guys, you do two episodes this time.
Enough, Yeah, that's going to be a two parter. So if you've gotten this far, congratulations, it's hard too.
You know where to find us on all podcast platforms.
Good Mom's Bad Choices, Like Mela said, join us at the Good Vibe Retreat. You can find me at watch Erica on Instagram or at watch Erica Nicole on TikTok.
You can find Mela.
At mela Underscore map.
Make sure you follow our podcast studio here in La. If you have a podcast, you.
Want it recorded, you want then you just want to sit down and talk and walk away. Make sure you check out good dot good Media on Instagram or good Good Productions dot com.
Anyway, We'll see you next week. We love you, hey please?
Yeah, I'm living so good? Can't you tell? I went through a drought? That's until I find out well may might have been known earth. I used to be broken till now I got the blues ins and like Beyonce Jasell throat shot or popping his car wearing our voices Patriarch and catch it in the box to it's fois. Women put the pi and powers, So what's pointless? They want me to be good? So I made bad choices. Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Bitters in on put cannabis in their bath, bon walk in bossas cap and I blew his cat boss hot Dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent the lumber when to it is like a water Someone where you're renting winter resential will when the summertime. I do what doll They know when that needs a running by