When Your Kid Gets Caught

Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.

She was a good woman who always made good choices.

Shit, we're good mom's bad choices.

Who's single mom?

Who said? Fuck? The patriarchy shared all their bad choices.

And sound out they were so bad.

After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

I can welcome back to good Mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and I'm Janila.

Hi Jamila, Hi Erica.

Why are you laughing? I mean, like, that's not my name. It is so funny, bitch, where's the joke. It's like cookie one. I don't know.

I feel like he started using Jamila like one and two days ago.

One hundred and twenty two. I did it like two times.

I know.

It's what I've like every like seven months.

I'm trying to introduce yourself by your government.

That's good.

Decide to remind the people that my name is actually Jamila.

That is your name.

First of all, bitch, First of all, you know, we live in La and slash Costa Rica, and bitches be giving themselves new names all the time.

I mean, yeah, but this is your real name, so exactly, So what's the big deal? I know it's not.

Did you know before we started good Moms, I didn't really use Mela. That was my first my mom, because you probably got tired of people calling you Jamila. I did, and I was like, this is a good time to try something, to try my to try something new. So I mean, but you could rename me something else like s Yeah.

We had a bitch name Stardust the other day. Oh we did, right, Yeah, started us didn't butter. Her name was stardusted Butter.

Now it wasn't butter or something else, butter, bitch.

I ever forget her name was Butter.

I don't know, but I'm kind of like, why haven't we given ourselves new names? The only name I gave myself is the one that is already rooted in my own name. And now I'm like, I have like, jam I've done that, Mela, I've done that, Jamila.

I mean we have names that in Costa Rica, what we you know, the names we name when we go around the table and we do our exotic that still has.

Your name on it, where you could be called magical, machic mechica because I say the Spanish magica mika.

See see, I've never been I've never been good at coming up with new names for myself. People ask me, what's your stripper name? What's is just I'm like.

Florentina, Florentina, fucking geriatric stripper. I always wanted to be a food, like peaches or like cookie when I was little, but I would like, back in the day, it's Cherry. I'm gonna go to the club and tell people my name is Peaches, and then I would forget every time. I don't know how bitches get new names and they stick with them.

I'm gonna be Cherry. I was just talking to.

Someone and he's like, oh, yeah, she she doesn't go buy that anymore. Her name is this already it's somebody that we met in Costa Rica. And then recently he's like, oh, actually, she's going back to her real name. I'm like, bitch, don't fucking update me with these names anymore. Just give me the government. I don't want to hear ship about you going back to your right.

I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be renamed.

Maybe next maybe next year, I'll give myself a new name.

I like my name.

I'm gonna stand true to my name.

I love my name.

You know.

I like e. I like Erica.

You know.

That's about it. That's as far as it goes. My mom tried to, like, like give me nicknames.

She couldn't.

She couldn't remember to call them, so they never stuck.

Ricky.

She's trying to call me Ricky. Why Ricky because Eric not your mom?

But girl, she did.

She was pushing it.

She forgot, she forgot to call it.

She was like, I didn't take this through before I named it Orlando. When you first movie, I was trying.

To Ricky, nicky Dicky. Okay, n you Ricky nicky Dickie.

Okay. Well I'm gonna have to steal back because that's pretty funny. That's a lot of words. Remember that. Remember that that book in elementary school that you that you recalled. Matt Cambua took it into like it's a little Asian boy. It's really racist.

Actually, I don't know what they're talking about.

There's an elementary school book, but everybody reads about an Asian boy who has a long name, like you remember that? No, it's gonna piss me off.

And let me tell you, I don't remember because is why? Because weed I told you my friendal Lobes.

I wonder if I asked Google children's book with Asian boy with long names.

I'm sure it'll find it.

Absolutely the ais can find anything. At this point, children's book? Was it ricky n It's something like that. Maybe your mom stole it. It's gonna come right up because this is a famous book. David, you remember this book? Okay? You know they probably retired by the time he got probably because it's racist.

How many things do you think that were from our childhood that didn't survive because it was racist?

A lot of things, many things try to think of.

Is there anything you would you think you wish would have been kept racist? I wish they didn't change ancient mine yerrup, even though white kids used to try and call me that and try to be funny in school.

I don't know what why? What? What is you just you just it's like an object for you.

Yeah, maybe because what is it called now?

I think it's just like it's like country Town Syrup or some shit like no, for real, it's like something really stupid. Okay, maybe because I bought it and I was like, what is this?

This is it? Tiki Tiki Tembo no sa Ramo Chi by Bucci pit Perry Pembo came right up. Remember now I do tik tik Okay, So this was probably a little racist.

They have a Spanish edition. But why is it racist? Because I like making fun of like how Asians speak or.

I think are inclusive. I don't know everything's racist, Erica. I don't know everybody's sensitive these days. I wish everybody was as sensitive to our bitch ass president and him murdering people as they are to the fucking syrup in Ale nine being named Achemima or yeah. I mean, it's all fucked up. But let's go in order of priority here.

I mean, I think our attention span is so low that the priorities are as add as to everyone else's brain.

So well, we're gonna all die because no one knows how to relax.

Speaking of which, well, I speaking of which, let me like everybody, Yeah, I'm gonna like this blunt. I have this true wrap backwood. This is the aromatic one. And I don't know how well of a job I did. Which side should I be smoking?

This side or that side?

I don't know. You rolled it. It looks like a wands carry PoTA.

Now I have magical powers. Backwood gave me magical powers and pell go this side. I think that's the side to go. So you guys, today, we have zero topics, we have no we have no path forward. Here. We're just gonna talk like we always used to do and get high and just let it flow. So I would encourage you right now, if you're at home, you're sitting here watching our YouTube, or if you're listening in the car or wherever you're at. If you got some weed on you, this a good time.

This is a good time to roll up.

Because you might be judging the conversation if you're not in the same frequency.

And if you have a backwood, if you're a backward smoker, a drop what kind of backwood you smoke? In the comments, I'm trying to I'm trying to find out what your flavors are.

What's your flavor? Tell me what's your flavor?

Who's that?

Tell me?

What does that car? Was that?

Craig David, Oh my god, what's your flavor? I'm a nostalgic.

I see we're throwing it back all day.

I live in the past. I'm a cancer and I live in the.

Past speaking of we're all going to die, but hopefully not.

We're all going to die.

That's just a fact, you got know.

I know, unless we're vampires, which I'm not opposed to.

I think there's a vampires living on earth right now.

Yeah, I think we got like the Disney version, but I think that, like, I mean, obviously there's there's literally it's proven that niggas are eating people.

So and now I'm getting fat. Now I'm getting fed cannibal content.

Can you elaborate because I'm not. Yeah, there was as a conspiracy.

It was a woman who was on a podcast that said her dad was the most prolific cannibal cannibal list in Sweden or something, and she was she proud or was she like she was covering how dark he would get, like when he would eat people like he would his eyes would go black and he would get really dark and like mean and evil, like eating people would like make him dark.

Was Sweden was seen a coole? Like why was eating people.

Let's watch the clip. Okay, show you all, I pull it up.

But while we're talking about that, just know that people are eating people right here in the United States current day, like our government, and it's all throughout the Epstein files. They're referring to kid meet as jerky. So if you

I know.

So all the things but I knew were not conspiracies that were actually happening are now being proven and everyone's just acting like it didn't happen. It's literally proof, and everyone's pretending like, well didn't I I.

Don't know if I said this on the last episode or one of the episodes where that conspiracy was that that Mexican cartel guy that got killed and it was one of the was like one of the biggest like organ traffickers in Mexico and that he had six sixteen sitting government officials on his list and they had to take them out because he was going to reveal who they were. When you think of Oregon City, actually there were sitting senators.

When you think of organ whatever black market, you think of like someone my grandma's going to die. She needs a liver, I thought, But no, they just want to eat it. And I heard they eat children for the adrenaline or something when they're scared. But like, if she's witnessing her dad go dark, what is the actual health benefit of eating people?

You don't know? I know this back was really good, though, you're gonna be really high. I really like this flavor. Okay, play that, Sorry it before, but before I play it. You're right, the beef jerky thing in the Epstein's files, yes, then the cartel thing, yes then, because now my mind is like looking at these catibalism cannibalists that happened to

She's rich enough? I know, imagine eating people for hair gear like my ca But but I post post, are we trying to prime us to make this normal?

Like they're just slipping in organ.

Meet just like I mean, they're also they're also trying to prime us to make a fucking child perversion fucking normalized.

So it's not far fetch you guys. And speaking of okay, we're getting a lot the eighties coming through. Let me hold on.

My Trump.

I have a hat that I bought off the internet and it says Trump is a pedophile. Shout out to I can't remember his name. He's a comedian that sells the hats.

It's a great hat. Why do we think of that?

I don't know, but I paid forty two dollars for it. I didn't give a fuck. I was like, I'm going to wear this hat. I've and I've been doing a social experiment. I've been wearing that. I've been doing social It did.

Actually, I'm gonna why didn't we have behind the scenes camerado put the clips in here?

I've been I have some clips.

Wait, are you like recording to see people's reactions?

You need I've just been walking around with it.

You know what you need to do. You need to go in. I need to go in first, then you need to come in second. I can get everybody's reaction as they like I. No one know where to gether.

Well, maybe we should just plan a day where we go to light spaces that are like probably conservative and where it cow basses, and then we should probably go to Beverly Hills. I almost wore it to Irish school.

You should, but then I was.

Like her poorly.

Well, they were just like, pedophile is a weird word to wear it to school.

That's that's the thing. Even though one of the kids will be like.

What's a pedophile?

Even though one of our friends saw your hat and they told our other friend, everybody's a pedophile. She told you, yeah, And I was like, wait, is that your justification for voting for him?

Bitch?

I don't think that she listened to our show.

Right, I don't know, but she does.

Well, I want you to know if you do listen to our show, Missy, that's insane. That's an insane statement.

As a mother. Don't say don't everyone else not don't do that.

She said that everyone is a pedophile. I think that that's probably the rhetoric that's being said on that side to like pacify what's going to potentially come out that's already come out. Actually, it's already come out, and no one gives a fuck because no one gives a funk about women are Ldren Wow, which is crazy. However, back to the clip of the vaile.

One day, my mom actually did take me to the shop and as we were walking towards exit, I just all of a sudden saw my dad's face all across like the Sweden's biggest newspaper, and I saw the words cannibal. And I didn't know what the word cannibal meant, so but as I saw that his face, you know, my dad's face on that newspaper, I just froze two ice and my mom had like dragged me away from that.

You know, this is what we call white people shuit, you know what the retreat we say, you know, like howling at the moon and you know, dancing naked. Make it the people think, that's why people shouldn't know. This is why people this is the example of white people shit. And I'm a little bit scared, but yeah, that's where we're out in the world.

I actually had to tell my mom about that.

She's like, what do you mean people are eating people?

She didn't get the news.

She's not gonna be the same feet as us.

And then and then her her assistant was like, yeah, the kids said and my dat my son's school have all been talking about all the cannibalism that's happening. And I'm like, these like they need to have therapy for kids. I think like kids need more therapy than ever at this point in the world, like with everything that's going on and the things that they read and see, like how.

How Yeah, like how do you interpret, Like, how do you not be okay? How do you be okay when you learn things about your government this way? Is it possible to be okay? I don't think it's possible. I'm not okay. I'm struggling a bit, and I just keep trying to pretend like everything's okay, because what the funck eulse I'm I supposed to do.

Anyway? In other news, I think it's time for bad choice of the week.

Bad mom.

Not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

So good.

I'm living.

So my bad choice of the week it's it's kind of a bad choice. I mean it's it's like I had to make I had to say something choice, but then I realized it was my bad choice that led me here.

So we have a friend and our daughters.

We know, we have our we have our mom tried, we have the mom chat group, right, and one of our friend's daughters like did something she wasn't supposed to do, like created a TikTok, and you know, come to find out she had multiple tiktoks and was like just doing shit that she was to do. So my friend, our friend was mad as hell, was like what the fuck?

No, she just she she tells us this and then she sends and then she's like, I'm gonna take her phone, and like hours later, just sends us a picture of her child and Erica's child.

Middle fingering to the camera with crop child like they like.

Roll their regular t shirts up and they're both in them. They're like I was like ooh. When I saw that, I was like ooh. She even warned nobody here can gonna be mad?

She gave me no warning. I was at dinner having a sushi with Dana, and I opened that.

I went, I was like, I was like, waiting for your respond I was like, let me not say anything.

I was like, I wonder if she wanted this in.

A private message. I mean, I don't care, like mom trying to know, but I just wasn't expecting, you know, Like I guess, like, obviously I know my daughter's growing up. Obviously I know she she's my daughter. She's around me, you know, so I know she knows certain shit. But I guess, like seeing the visual of it, like was like, oh, we're switching timelines.

Now we're over here. Now here's the thing. I think that we're coming to that age. And this is for moms everywhere and all of us. I finally realized we're at that age. I remember when your mom used to be like that person's a bad influence on you. I have news for you, some of you, guys. Your daughter is the bad influence.

Yeah, it's true, and I think so.

And I think this is a really interesting point because this is where a lot of moms get in denial. But like, the IRI you see is probably not the IRI that someone else sees because she's gonna be innocent with you because she knows.

I mean, of course, that's.

A hard said the swallow.

I understand that, I know that.

Of course I'm not.

I'm not. I try to be like the self.

Aware parent that doesn't forget what it was like to be that old, because you know, we all remember, we all remembered being that old and being like, I would never do this to my kid, just wait till I'm old. So when I saw it, I like, I was shocked, and then I laughed because I thought it was funny because then I zoomed into her little finger and it was all crooked, like she didn't really even know how to like straighten her finger out all the way because

Waited somewhere saying that this is not a good idea, but okay.

It's not all the time. Is a healthy balance of embarrassment that your child.

People have to you know, if you can't do it in public. Don't do it in private. And so I did it in public.

I did at dinner with my friend because my friend was saying how she was the only child and she was so bored that she knew how to do middle fingers with her middle with her with their toes, and so I was like, speaking of middle fingers, Iri, let's talk about your middle finger.

And so anyway, we talked about it. She felt really bad.

And then you know, my bad choice of the week was that I blamed her dad. I was like, because I send it to her dad and I was like, this is your fault, and he was like, I know, it's my fault. She's my child. He was ready to take it on. He actual because he thought it was fucking hilarious. And you went to your photos and then I realized I was smoking a blunt late last the other night with my friend, I was thinking, do you know how many photos I have with Jamila sticking out

I think we should probably put if we can find a few. I wonder if you put middle fingers just do a collagelage.

Right now, here's a lot.

I'm pretty sure it's on our good mom's gone wild torture.

We're not doing this and we are with our shirts up that and maybe maybe there's a with it.

And so I was like, this is my fucking fault, and that actually is your fault too. You're in You're in it too because you're complicit. You were in the photos of all of them.

Luna wasn't is a picture fucking with their croptob and her finger out.

It's not not about Luna talking about this is your fault with Iri as her auntie.

This is also your fault.

The whole tribe. Let me do this?

Did you let me take these photos? Thousands and thousands and thousands?

Mom is the mom who used to say so and says a bad influence on you. I could tell this is this is a product of that. When you do that to your kids, she's gonna turn into Erica. Okay, so this will be your adult version if you if you, if you be the mom who doesn't think it's your child, you will grow to be Erica. And then you blame the other mom.

The other mom said it was her child. She literally said, just for the record, I can just I know it's her fault. And I said, I think it's probably both of them.

They both know they're both equal, responsible, grown mature enough to know I shouldn't be doing so.

Then I asked, I read, you know what that means.

No, shut up, I already be lying. Oh, shut the fuck up.

Give me your handbabe, read beginning over. I know she's lying.

I know she's lying.

I know the fuck that she's lying.

Oh my god. This is also a good opportunity because we're in that age or our kids are becoming their own people where we have to also as parents and as mothers, be like, let me not react, let me just like consider that my child is responsible for themselves, because I think it's easy to be like, not my child.

No, I mean I didn't. That's not how I say, and that's definitely not how I addressed it with her. You know, because this has been a theme lately in my parenting life. Is like my daughter realizing how following the crowd is going to get you fucked up out here. Okay, this is not incident, numero uno.

Wait, speaking of following the child, remember there is this thing this week. I sent it to you with the to do. We watched it, the two fucking girls in the backseat planning a murder, giggling his fucking hysterically.

No, I mean, I thought you sent to me, but I didn't watch it because I couldn't. I have like a murder intake level right about now usually hit you hit your peak with I have space for more space for murder because I love murder mystery and I love it. I love horror, but because of all the horrors that are actually occurring all the time right now, my murder threshold is at its limits. When you sent me that, I was like, I don't know, let.

Me show you now. I hope it's I hope you're not having reach You're I.

Have a little bit of space for murder.

To Twisted Florida, there was, It wasn't attempted. They didn't get there yet because I got caught. Two Twisted Florida teens accused of plotting a classmates murder, caught on camera joking about it, planning mugshots in the back of the patrol car.

These are gonna see They weren't gonna see me some way or another. Mushot yes, he's probably gonna.

What are they saying?

Are they talking Chris the book shots and how.

They were supposed to spread their story around the true crime community.

But they didn't actually kill anybody, right, They got caught before. I was gonna do my makeup this morning, bitch, but I couldn't find anything.

I'm glad.

I'm glad.

I don't look too bad today.

They are these are what you called.

She thought she would be going to a psych war.

All that to say, you don't funk around and beat your kids yourself. They're gonna fuck around in the backset of patrol car with another stupid bit.

They might not They might actually have the obviously I can. I can just tell they have some stuff going on.

One might have.

They might be getting beat at home, but must be the might be.

Getting beat or something, and the other wise it's just a dumb bitch going along. The point is I'm showing louda this as soon as as what you call.

Losers, Luna.

No, if a friend say let's kill somebody in this and it stabs them in the bathroom, you say no.

Yeah.

I think because we are desensitized as a community. I think the children are extremely desensitized, and they don't even understand the fucking concept of taking someone's life because they're in the backseat, fucking giggling, not knowing they're about to go to jail for a long fucking time. And I kind of hope they throw the book at these kids, because what in the actual fuck?

They're white and they didn't do it yet, so they're probably gonna get like two months in juvie and like therapy.

Don't take those fucking badass bitches of school next to my kid.

They I don't know where they're in. Back are Florida? Back?

Yeah?

They sound like they're from the back swamps of somewhere because now but anyway, yeah, that's exactly why I had time not to.

Say that I was going to be murdered.

I had to talk to her about following her intuition, following her intuition, trusting herself, and that internet things live on the Internet forever, including her mother's middle finger.

In its. Are we gonna words? Are we gonna podcast long enough for our kids to discover our podcast? And then we're gonna have to talk about the things that they have discovered about.

Us, And then they'll be like, but you did it.

I thought that's gonna be their only motivation to listen.

But you did it. But you went to San Francis Is going to see a politician, Mom.

I was twenty nine. But it's like, don't get worried, don't get in the car a strangers bill, bitch, you flew to see a stranger in different countries, I mean a different country, a different city.

I don't know, but that the picture just for is was I'm glad that I saw it because it ripped off the band aid. It was like very obviously innocent. But I'm realizing, Yeah, like my daughter isn't. I know, she's not like innocent, but there isn't. She definitely hasn't innocence about herself. No, they're children, absolutely, but like I know that she's exposed to things, and especially I mean, thankfully my daughter is not like a real she's not

I don't know I'm gonna give it back again.

Last time I took it away for like two months, so it might be another while the only reason I want her to have a phone is like when she's not with me, and I want to be able to reach her, I know when she's like not with any of us, Like when she's at a friend's house, call that mom. I just mean, like what if something has happening at that house where a parent is not allowing me?

Well, you just have to trust the adults that you keep her with. I mean, they're not somewhere there at the mall by themselves.

That's different. But I think in this air, you know, the parents, there's a shooting, who is she got?

Hey?

Can I think you're going really dark?

Yeah?

Yeah, it's a dark orble, But we kind of have to just trust that. I mean, we can't protect them from everything, so we just got to hope and trust that that is uh not like whoever you're leaving with, that's not an option or possibility, or that there's not going to be a fucking school shooting at your very expensive school. I mean, there's so many probabilities, Like there's so many things that could happen.

But and that's why.

Then that's all I'm saying is that there's a level of preparation that if I can have somewhat control over, I would That's the only reason, is what I'm saying that I want her to have a phone. I don't need her to have a phone for entertainment, Like I don't even that's not what she uses it for that but like that's not been my mode of entertainment historically for long periods of time. So that's why she doesn't

Yeah, I mean social media is and I think that the biggest thing we can do for our kids now is like have real last conversations with them so that we're like there's a clarity and preparation around emergencies, around weird ass adults, around weird people and all those things. Because I cannot wait to see the documentary of like how the Internet on everybody's phone and tablet has so has like affected human the human existence.

So you have you talked to Luna about just like your Internet persona, not yours, but like just her like, oh, like the that it lives forever, Like I think, you know, I think kids they don't realize like the what's the word. I'm looking for a finality, the finite of like what it is to show up on the internet. Obviously, we actively choose, I think, sometimes not being aware ourselves even sometimes I just like how things stay and can be found forever, and.

Our shit's still gon know, there's still opportunity for to combine us in this.

I mean, I think that we're pretty much ten toes down on like our decisions and who we are. But like, I think that it would be different. It could potentially sometimes be different if it's our child asking, you know, like and having to like have the language to explain why mommy, like whatever, we were drunk falling off the table and I'm my my titties popped out, whatever the

I've had some couple of things here and there, but not like a sit down conversation. But yeah, I think it's probably coming because the Internet is a very real character in our lives that we have to like be aware of, and though the kids have to know the severity of that, I don't think they understand quite yet.

And it's like when they're at their friend's house whose mother you trust, but you don't know there they look at and their mother let them have a TikTok and you don't know what kind of content this child wants to make, and now you I was thinking about that the other day and like, how many tiktoks is Irion that I don't even know right, like other accounts doing whatever the fuck you know? And obviously I can't control

I think healthy fear is actually very important. And it's not even fear, it's it's honesty. And the fucked up part is we're living a scary world. Buckle up, Buttercup, We're living a scary world. So ever you think me telling you this is bad way to hear about the government eating kids, welcome to my other head.

Guys. They're eating us, you guys, they're fucking eating us.

I mean, the amount of children that go missing in the United States a year is like something close to three hundred thousand. You can if you put a group of three hundo thousand people in a fucking auditorium, you know how many people that would be. They gotta be eating kids, because how the fuck do we go all these kids go missing?

Scary? Speaking of eating, I heard you. I heard you had a colonic today to share your colonic journey with that. Sure, I'm trying to get I'm trying to get off of the eating people.

Going to Cannibal.

Okay, that's I really like the movie Hannibal. When I was saying, I uh decided to do a parasite cleanse, and like in the parasite clin you're supposed to do a colonic like the third day and like the tenth day or something. Anyway, I went just like, oo, I'm gonna be so clean. And when I started, first of all, shout out to complete Trinity Diana, She's the bomb. It was like a spot up in there. So I was just like, yeah, I'm gonna go get clean. And as soon as I was laid on the table, I'm like

Calonics every other month.

Oh really, Yeah, I feel like it's good maintenance and it does make you be a little bit more aware, like how you're passing food, how long it's taking to digest. Did I need to eat that fucking steak and the bread at ten o'clock at night? But I am trying to remove the worms from my body, So it's me that you guys are talking to and not the worms.

Do you feel any different?

I do?

Today?

I feel like she was telling me, I sweat a lot, so it's like the toxins coming out. But it's a pretty interesting process because you're just sitting on the table looking at this clear tube of your shit coming out colors and different textures, and I'm like, damn, like how long was I in there? It's like cheese is really like peanut butter is very hard to get from the

Literally?

But yeah, I think everyone should do it. It's not something I think American we don't talk about health a lot because I want to kill us. So just remember and.

Get your colonics.

Yeah, when's the last time that you went to colonic?

Probably a year ago?

Yeah, I mean, how do you feel about it?

I mean, I think it's important. I mean, but I started getting colonics because everybody wants to know when I started when I was like twelve, because I've always had stomach issues, and I don't think that I realized until I was an adult that like, like certain like bread, rice and noodles are all sugar. All these things you know, like they actually like give me stomach issues, Like they hurt my stomach immediately.

We're supposed to be consuming half the amount of shit.

That we and so I was eating all these things that are on like the you know that triangle thing that they tell us to.

Eat, the triangles of a lot of you guys.

Yeah, so I was eating those things and like I was getting sucked up, and so my mom. I remember, my mom is always mad at me about my stomach. She's so annoyed with me and my stomach. But it was like I wasn't fucking kidding, Like it fucking hurt. So anyway, I would get constipated. I wouldn't go to the bathroom for like six days, and like I would start getting like sweats fevers, and so I started having

I can only imagine it's painful, like not that way, like it's just super uncomfortable. So, yeah, it is important. I was thinking about you today and that was the thing. And I was like she did this when she was a little Like how did she as a child? And I was like, could I make lunigo? I was like, I was having a heart anyone needs to go, I needs to go. I was thinking about her too, and I was like does she does she have problems because her diet is mostly like French fries and.

No, you know what I should I should probably go look at her ship.

Oh god, you ever look at Luna shits this age? No and a diamond? I mean no, we still got to check in on them. I don't know what if irin's been diarrhea. You do you have diarrhea and for a year straight, and I had no idea. She would tell you.

I think what if her poops are extremely soft?

And I have no idea, Well, probably hard because they're eating so much carbs. I'm gonna go check on the point is stop feeding our kids bullshit? And uh, maybe give them a kalanic and maybe check in on your kids poops, but definitely give yourself a kalonic, because it's actually.

Not like you need to go get the water.

Shut shut up. Yeah, I don't know. I feel better. I also feel like, what the fuck I've been doing for thirty seven years? So it's time to normal It's right next to you. It's time to normalize cleaning out your very ear intestines because we're eating shit, so we're not supposed to be eating.

I think actually because yeah, because of the food, like it's imperative now at this point that we're cleansing all the time. I'm gonna do another parasite cleanse after we come back from Jamaica.

Too, and then you should cut a when it comes to complete trinity with me. Yeah, she's really nice. Yeah, I said after Jamaica as Alsten, I'm going out of town. She's winning a special right now. Actually, the special until the end of the month is three hundred dollars for three sessions, which they were three thirty three for me.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, I'm realizing that we are not getting any younger and so like the maintenance is even more dire and obviously the government's trying to kill us to make a steaks. So we really got to we really got to be diligent about our own health because we don't live in a country that is promoting health for real. Even the triangle that you talked about, you when you think, when you think of the root of things, or like the it's a lot of propaganda and like I remember learning they.

Just RFK just updated the triangle.

Rfk' is an idiot.

He just updated it and you put thin red meat at the top or something like that.

Did you see him in his jeans and the jacuzzi or some shit what he was like? He did like a video with Kiderok and they're in the sauna and jeans and a cowboy hat.

It's really weird.

Well, the thing for bacon, they started that you have to eat breakfast in the morning campaign because they were trying to move eggs and bacon. And now we know that bacon is a carcer, carcinogenic, carcinogenic whatever, it's bad for you. And but the whole point of when they started this dumbass pyramid and the propaganda, marketing, fucking advertising campaign around breakfast as they were trying to push meat sales. So you have to check in on things. And also,

You know what they're we know what the biggest reset of this chart is is that they want us to prioritize protein at every meal, which we don't even.

Have enough ant. Like the livestock in America is a real problem. So the fact that they rebranded it and they're putting meat at the top, let you know, they're literally trying to kill you literally. So God, this is so stressful.

I was just thinking that because my stomach's been hurting so much today and I had red meat last night. I had a burger because I'm at the end of my cycle and it sounds good and I'm bleeding. I want red meat, and now I'm paying the price for it twice this week because I thought, I don't really do this often. I could do it. It's fine, No, bitch,

Or if you don't want to be eating even at meat, and.

Like you have to go to the butcher shop. But even that, like you have to make sure your butcher is like where is he getting these cows? Just because you're at the butcher shop doesn't mean you're getting fucking good cows either.

Well, I mean, at least the cow is one that probably didn't come from like you don't know that it's probably. I mean, I see the whole carcass. They buy those cows wholesale, okay, but they can only stay good so long. So I'm my assumption is that when you see the whole cow, this regular guy down the street from my house doesn't have the fucking gas tanks and the fucking whatever they're putting in the packaging to make it stay pink. That is my thought process around it. And if it's out,

I think we got to stop.

I mean, there was a time in history where like having meat is a like a like a celebration. It was not a no. It's because we don't. We have too many people now to even support that, even thinking about there 'sued to be a milkman because it came locally, and then it like, but imagine the chemicals that have to go into these products in order for it to to be shipped to your house and then wait for you to pick it up at the store and then wait for you to drink it at your house or

It's something to literally, I feel like the meats were already eating are genetically modified. They are.

They passed that in the beginning of this year. But I just don't have to tell you, but I just mean that they are.

They've been feeding these animals that have been birthing animals for the last twenty years a bunch of bullshit, So those animals are already modified in my opinion.

So I was just like, just don't eat meat. You think you can not eat meat.

I grew up not eating meat. I know, yeah, so I know I can. I just yeah, I get it cravy. And that's another thing. I'm like to have parasites because I guess I can. Like my cravings. When I was cleansing or getting so intense, I was about to talk about on my period now, but I was just like, I really want a chocolate chip cookie with ice cream. I was like dreaming about it, like a soft, gooey cookie, and I was like, bitcha, you don't go to sleep.

That's the parasites. It's not you, it's not me.

But I mean, then would you eat seafood because seafood is also a.

Living vegetarian ver vegan. Really I think I'm I think I have to at this point in my life, I got to make I gotta make some really hard decisions. That's the thing about two. I was looking at pictures of us because we've been podcasting for eight years and so literally we've talked about this too. It's like watch it. So it's crazy to just watch yourself. I don't age, and you know, I see it. And then It's like I embrace, you know, I try to embrace every age that I'm in. But I also am like.

How do I slow this down? Maybe I need to eliminate meats. Maybe I need to just maybe. And then I was like is smoking weed?

Like?

Is this gonna make my have jowls? Here? I'm already like looking in the mirror, and I'm like.

Look like this.

There's this lady on the internet. Shout out to this Asian lady on the internet who has before and after pictures of her face from doing face exercise.

Oh, she's before and afters.

So she has face exercises. She has a whole sequence of face exercises, and so I do them. Let me teach you them. Sure, okay, you used to do each one for five minutes. Obviously we're not gonna do that right now. But number one does go lift your cheek ones are good?

Would you try?

Nope?

No, no, no blinking your eyes just to try to isolate your cheek bones. Mm hm, keep your lips out.

If you're just listening, it's not gonna be as fun to get YouTube.

Wait then the next one, put your tongue behind your like your lip like that, and little cheek.

Then then there's another one. This one's not so pretty.

None of these are pretty.

Bit I mean those ones are not so bad. I feel we're gonna get casted in the next zombie.

Wait, and then this one too.

As for your neck, this is really import very important because our next were aging faster than ever. Technic is real, bitch, look in the mirror, look at your neck.

What's technic from their phone? So because the radiation is going up my neck and you're looking down all the time. Yeah, so like you should be holding your phone like this, And.

It's does she make this shit up?

Or is it proven she has before and after pictures?

Bitch?

Is it? Then it's I think it's helping. We can help because I was like, do I need to call Roberta or do I need to do face exercises for one month? And first and see should I spend two thousand dollars or should I do face exercises for one month?

Maybe should try that.

I was like, let me start with the pixurels will take it from there.

Yeah, maybe there will be one thousand dollars of Roberta.

And then the last one there's this one.

Mm hmm. This stretches out these lines mm hmm mm hmm. Suck. Yeah, I could do that too.

Don't do that in public. Someone's gonna think you're signaling from getting a blow drop.

But I do it on the way. I'm a car ride. Well, I was doing it today this morning, and I was like, can you not do that? Or when we're in the car together, why make her uncomfortable? She's just like, you look weird. I was like, fine, when I drop you off, I'll get to my fucking face looks weird, Like mind your business. You're in the bat shut up with your fucking middle finger. We have a horror story.

Oh wait, I was gonna tell you something. Oh tell me, Oh, this.

Is not a horse story. This is a horrid tip. Oh tell me the hord tip.

I don't think you heard me at the party. I don't think you're sitting at the table. I made an announcement new horn tip. David, just write this one down to make your man go use.

Oh you did it. I heard it.

The mouthwash and then eat your pussy. Spit the mouthwashup, but then eat your pussy. It feels all tingly.

It's nice toothpaste too.

Maybe I don't think the toothpaste is as powerful. And even I have like a mild more or less toxic mouthwashed and it still works because one time he burst his teeth and then he ate my pussy and it's like, ooh, it's that.

You know what I'm thinking would also be good. It's like, what if they just also like did that and then drink a really warm cup of something so your mouth is like extra warm or cold. I don't know if I want cold on my pussy, like I don't want ice on my Maybe you should just do all three in a sequence, just test it out.

It's sensation play, but definitely, I'm actually considering getting the more toxic mouth washed for special occasion.

No, we're talking stop, this is organic, this.

Is this is my pussy.

No, we're not going care of your pussy.

He's spitting it out.

It doesn't matter.

Those toxics are getting on your pussy lips and maybe inside of you.

If you have flistering trying to get the cod No, no, darn me, tell me how it's going your pussy lips fall off or get cancer.

Don't fucking call into good mom's bad choices.

It's fine, it's a few times a month, don't get every day. Just for special occasions, Babe, get the listenerine extra strength. It's our anniversary anniversary, babe, Oh my god.

Okay, so we got a horri from someone special. And if you haven't joined our discord yet, make sure you join our discord. This is where people are sharing their horse stories. It's where we connect with our community. You can leave your bad choice of the week, and also you get all of our episodes early. So it's ten dollars a month, which is really nothing. It's like a cup of fucking coffee, and.

You have a whole community. There's thousands of people over there in different cities. You can meet the Erica to your Jamila. Yeah, and you'll just already know they're in the same type of mindset freedom, bitch yep.

So make sure you go to patreon dot com slash good Mom's Bad Choices or click the link in it's episode description, join our discord community and submit your horse stories. Okay, I didn't read this, so I'm not sure if it's a level ten or a level zero. We'll find out. We'll tell you live. Okay. Me and my baby dad were on a supposed break for a few months. During this time, we weren't living together and had already been

So I ended up.

Meeting with this guy that I had an on again, off again relationship for years. We met, had drinks and I lightweight, got too drunk to drive, so he drove us to his house until I sobered up, which was about seven minutes away. We were talking, chilling, and then things escalated. We went to the bedroom, started kissing and he was getting very handsy and started eating me out. So I asked if he had a condom, and he said yes, he got one from the drawer and we

I also don't ever don't.

Look back, and I don't take the day after pill get tested. You don't know this man the fucking been up to.

Anybody who does that is just like if I. Yeah, that's not even going to that. Men are dumb. That's dumb. That is illegal.

Sue him.

Yeah, what the fuck.

There's a word for it that Mandy taught us.

I can't remember what it was called.

Do you have any horse stories?

No, No, I don't right now. I know my sex life is kind of these days right now, Vanilla.

Oh, Vanilla, Vanilla. Yeah, well I don't really have a horror story. But we did a role play like we were in like the mid the mid medieval times. Oh interesting, I realized that my Medieval times language needs some more. I need to watch like some more House of Dragons or whatever. I don't watch enough like period.

What were you saying, like come some lad come here.

Comes, bring my concubine, okay, and just making me my concubine. I just like that word concubine.

Come lay in the bed with me. It's concubine, like not your part, like he's like your side nugget, or like.

It's like your servant.

Ho oh, okay, it's a servant.

Ho.

It's like it's a servant. They might serve some teep, but mostly they serve some dick. Or is a concubine only a woman?

I don't know, because there was a guy in my school that called his partner his concubine, and I like, that's he kept calling her that?

Wait wait wait, like in school someone was calling that.

In high school. No, like, no, this it's so in the program that I was, Oh, he was calling his partner in the program.

That we were in together.

Was that weird guy?

M hmm, okay, I know exactly what you're talking about.

I don't think that that, And so I was I just kind of thought like maybe it just meant like they aren't in a committed relationship and this was like a fancy word for saying like you know, they're like open.

No, I think it. I think it's I think it maybe like a sub dom situation.

Yeah, like he's the dominant, she's the same.

Yeah, that's what it sounds like. That's the word that they came up with. But yeah, concubine is like a sex slave.

I think. Just look at Pita pizza.

Come to my contest. Fetch the tray of cronut cronus.

Why would they have cronuts? Fetch my cronus, my cronus, My my, my teens and my crump we call trumpet trumpets, trumpets, my crumpets in my teeth.

Oh my god, concubine, I don't even sell that conk.

Put that mint in your mouth.

Putting the mint, bringing the mint leaves, bring them it leaves to my quarters, and bring concubine number seven, now, please me with your oral mouth.

A concubine is a woman who cohabits cohabits with a man, often in a long term sexual relationship, without being legally married to him, typically holding a lower social status than a wife.

Oh it's a side ho Yeah, that's what I thought. Oh a side bitch. Well it's not even a side bitch because you don't have a main, bitch. He doesn't have to have a main.

Orlando, is this your concubine?

Orlando, Baby, let's go. Let's go get a concubine. Tonight.

Tonight we're going to We're going to the brothel, and you can pick out whatever full concubines that you'd love, only on the weekends twice twice twice. The Midsummer babe must have hair of fire, crotch a fire hair fire gather, gather your back and shin as silky as the moonlight. On the dof fourth day of winter. Draw my candles in my bath. See it's kind of fun that went out. Especially if you make yourself like the king or the queen, you wouldn't make it. I mean, I could be the concubine.

Well, let's see it. A male concubine is there is there a word. There's the difference between male and females and the same ship.

A male concubine is concubinius, my concubinus. Concubinists. Cover your things and behead him. He did not use the mint leaves. Behead my concubinus. You have been what is it called? You like? Go somewhere far?

How do you like? How do you then?

Actually, when you're in the act, like you don't really know, Henry dof make my my feathers ruffle into the not give me your second bond.

I'm both the first son of the king.

Yes, yep, yeah, yeah, ejaculate in me.

I don't know if they had that word yet.

Release doth, my doth is really important.

Release your elixa, release dot sacred elixa inside of my sacred end. You shall be king after this. I'm gonna I'm gonna watch some more Medieval Times just for this inspiration. Maybe there's some Medieval Times porn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure there is. H I mean there's everything.

Yeah, there's the whole you know, role play.

And not the role play with you know people, the reenactments. I'm sure those reenactments also have sex parties after right, they have to.

That's I guess that's basically why we have a bunch of we've had We've gone to costume party sex parties.

But like those people that do reenactment like situations where the actually no, like they have like full on like they go to the fields and they reenact war time.

Oh yeah, don't we have a friend who used to do that.

Like they even have like a whole festival like that. What is that reenacting festival when they all dress.

Up like maybe Evil Times.

It's called something else, I know, a fairy night's dream. I don't fucking know.

You know, I don't think it was a good time for our people. I got to do more research. Wait, I don't know.

I think we're on the way here. We've always been here.

Write I'm following. I'm following a page that's all about like indigenous black Europeans, and it's like, the truth is, black people.

Are worldwide everywhere.

Maybe before slavery, before we didn't all just be in Africa.

Yeah, but I meant the ones that were on the way. Oh my goodness, would you like to pick a tarot card?

I shall I shall? My dear, my dea concubine, You're my concubine. Orlando's my husband, and you udo my concubine.

I thought it was your wife.

You fucked up.

I've been demoted.

I've been demoted to concubine. Dumb. Oh okay, Oh, this looks like she's been concubined.

Concubine the Eight of the Swords, The Eight of Swords?

Shall I read it in this accent?

You shall, concubine? Have we have come across the words of the ethers, the Italio cards and the witch lady? My concubine Attica the third will read it.

To us okay, Well, here it is upright negative thoughts, self imposed restriction, imprisonment, victim mentality. Native Swords reveals that you feel trapped and restricted by your circumstances. You believe your options are limited with no clear path out. You might be in an unfulfilling job, an abusive relationship, is significant amount of debt, or a situation way out of alignment with your inner being. You are now trapped between a rock rock rock in a hard place with no

I think we shall always read the tarot in this voice because it seems rather appropriate, more magical much add some magical music here, please, maybe we'll listen more. If we talk like this doing taro, does it seem more magical? Because it does, do we.

Seem smarter, smarter, smarter. I always felt like people that speak an English accent just sound a little smart, smarter.

Talking speaking of abusive relationships, I was wondering if we are in an abusive relationship with each other because we have to go to therapy to talk about our problems.

We were joking outside of therapy because we're like, wow, we have to we can tell everyone can do everything else on our own, but we have to pay someone to make us talk to each other feelings.

So we're like, yeah, I was gonna pay the big bucks that we could talk right to each other, and we're gonna just give our money away. But everybody else, well, we'll tell you what to do. At least we're paying a black woman at least we don't playing a black woman doesn't feel it feels like I'm paying my auntie too. Is that our music of the medieval times?

Where you just come from Lord?

That Lord?

Is that you?

That Lord?

That was weird?

What is that?

I don't know.

I don't know. It just closed the website and it was the Tarot website. They have music now, they have AI. They said they want this background music.

Her phones are listening. I mean they know they are, but right, they just cued the music for us. What the fuck? Okay, okayd Tara, we heard you got it? Yeah.

It was like, oh my god, maybe we're an abusive relationship because we're not saying the thing. And then I was like, really abusing each other. And then I was like, we don't think about emotional abuse and friendships because we only think about the abuse in like parental or romantic relationships. But anyway, I think I should talk like this for the rest of the day, because why not. Okay, well, one cup of tea please, three honey squeezes.

I feel as though if you do talk like this, by the time you get to the bedroom tonight, you'll be primed and ready well versed.

Orlando, come to my quarters, please, my concubiness a concubinis. Yeah, try that tonight. Tell me how it goes, especially if you have a man who likes those type of movies. You can even put like some fairy tale characters in there, like setch my dragon, We're going to the East Shore.

Yeah, I like that.

You could be a werewolf or a witch doctor.

A werewolf? Oh I would. I think I'd like to be sucked by a werewolf, I know, and I mean as another werewolf, not like as a human. I kind of that would bestiality.

I want a werewolf is half human half man.

I think I thought I turn into another but they turn into the werewolf.

But then they in the day they are human.

I know.

But okay, I was having a vision of a c of a beast fucking me as a beast. I just want to be clear.

Other beast.

No, there'll be no crossing a species. I want to be a vampire. I also want to be fucked by a vampire and then turn into a vampire because I watched the new Interview with the Vampire and it was very gay. It's like a gay dramedy. Okay, one more thing before we go. Another very important TV contribution. If you haven't watched this, I know I'm late. Fucking ninety day Fiance is the best TV I've ever seen in my life.

I've seen it before.

Are you watching old episodes? I don't know what I've season eight. There's this black guy.

You gotta be on season four hundred by now, like it's been on for a long time.

I mean, it's gold TV. Like I wish that we thought of that show.

It's so good. It's got to be sad.

It's really sad. Actually, you know what I really noticed, Like my biggest observation. I like to watch love shows because then I see how desperate people are for love and like how kind of sad it is. A lot of these people are not even dumb people. They're just like people from small towns that are like they have everything else they want love. But I also see how

There's this one guy and both of them are complicit.

Both of complicit. And then I'm also was thinking, like the Ukrainian Russian bitches are hardcore. I'm like, black women.

Get to I mean, I can see why they would want to get out there. They're kind of in a war torn country. They're like anything's better than But.

Then but then they they're like I hate and they're like trying to go from medieval to Russian very difficult, right, Yeah, And it's like me, I don't want to go to the farm. I don't like it here. I want the new Rug. I want the new Rug and I don't like it. I know my country is poor, but I do not like New Orleans. It smells of peace. It's so crazy. Then there's a guy named Tarik, a black eye from Virginia Beach and Tarik is a rapper.

Oh my god, I.

Think I have it in my phone because I had to videotape it. Oh man, and he has a chain that says so like that's what his main job is. No, I can't. He's forty nine years old. That is not his main job. But he's still in the stew I don't know if he thought that this was going to like, if he.

Did this, oh, then he was gonna like take off.

I think so. But then he like gets this poor Filipino woman down here, and like the truth is she's a fucking lesbian, and he's like very off put by her, really just wanting to be a lesbian. Oh my god, I guys, ready, Oh my god, this is really important.

Wait wait, face towards me. Wait wait she's wait she's a lesbian. Wait wait wait.

I did so.

Many I had the best time I was home alone. I was like Orlando was a sleep at was like one o'clock in the morning. I was in the living room hollering, like crying, laughing. It's really prime TV. Oh my god, I better have this fucking clip because it's basically the best thing I've ever seen.

Oh, here we go, here we go. He got a cue.

He's not bad looking. Damn, I didn't get his wraps good enough anyway. Wait then there's another. Oh my god, there's another clue.

See why she got confused.

There's another clip.

The reconminded got me if I was in Ukraine as well.

The sights, the sounds.

He's a deep king.

He got a sword from Thailand and he was he was like playing with it and then he's like cutting the zucchini with with the sword in the kitchen.

It's very sad. Actually it's a good man.

He is a good man. A lot of the people are good people. They just are lonely and then it makes them get got. There's this white lady. She is a skin queen like she made a lot of money. She's never been married, like an esthetician. She's like medical medical Spashia. She owns to medical spas and I don't know East bumble fuck Michigan or some shit. And she has gotten her a twenty four year old belligian king. Okay, And I'm like, come on now, bitch, like come on. This is the thing that she is cute.

She's she's cute.

For a forty nine year old white lady who lives in Michigan. But do you think this twenty four year old Bellisian man really wants to be with you? Like I just I really urge people to use common sense. And I know we've said this before about like and I know love can be found in all shapes and forms and fashions. And I know this sounds shallow.

However, he does love her, loves what she can provide for him, and he can learn to love her. I don't think there's any learning.

I think they're gonna get the green card and be out, and I'm going to tell you what happens at the end. Committed to seeing all these storylines through because it's fucking well.

You think about like male older order brides from back in the day, I mean before having Instagram, really like email they used to literally it was literally male order, Like they would send pictures in the mail and you would choose your bride and then they would send them to you. Like that's how it was.

If you need love that bad.

There's a man in Florida right now with his Filipinos one and sometimes it works when they're married and they have a full kid five kids.

I think the women are less likely to dip. I mean the Ukrainian she looks like she was like Kim Kardashian does not live here. I was like, no, bitch, m she does not live in the bayou? Is that why you cat.

Is?

It's kind of sad, And then like the people are like offended, like you don't like my mama, this is the this is we live. She's like, this is a.

Swamp and a trailer parks. That's all I mean. I've seen, I've seen and there's always a character like that that she's like bougie but from a nothing, but came and shessed. She thought she was gonna live like Kim Kardashians.

She did, and now she's in the bayou and she's like it smells like piss. I'm like, yeah, because you're on Bourbon Street girl, baby, I know. It's like trauma all across. They have to get lawsuits after this because it's insane. Anyway, it's the new joy of my life. And it's also like a natural anti depressant. So if anyone's feeling sad, just turn on Season eight ninety Day Fiance and it gets real good.

Okay, I'll keep that in mind in my toolbox of sadness.

I tried to watch it Orlanda watch it, and he was so annoyed with me.

I don't want to watch this, you know, think it's funny.

Anyway, I think that's enough for today.

Well, you guys, we love you, and we love you so much that we want to see you in person. So I want to invite you to join us this summer at the Good Vibe Retreat in Costa Rica. You have a few more spots left. We're selling out. Stop waiting, put deposit down and bring that ass. Come a mess in Costa Rica.

Heal, Come unlock your wild woman, come link up with some other wild women, have fun. We heal through the fun. So it's not all this heavy shit. I mean, there won't be some heavy ship. There may be some crying, but like tears of joy and tears of release, but also just other women doing the same shit and a break for you to just take a deep exhale, because Lord knows times are strange and it's a must, and

What is the code restoration?

Because you need it?

Do you don't expell that? I E STO R A T I O N restoration.

Thank you, Aequila, and you know where to find us. Follow the good Vibe treat to see the vibes, follow good Mom's bad choices. Please rate and review this episode, Subscribe and like, Subscribe and download. If you don't download, we getting no kickback, So download the episode. Write us to tell us your hories and to tell us help you the full yard and that you love us, and we'll see next week light.

Please Yeah, I'm gonna have been so good? Can't you tell?

I went through a drought? That's until I find out well may not have been known Earth that used to be broken tail now got the blues. Dancer might Beyonce Jasell throat shot on pop and it's cow wearing our voices.

Patriarchy kept it in the box.

To exploit this.

Women put the P and powers. So what's pointing if they want me to be good? So I made bad choices. Bad mom.

Not a bad mom, but a bad mom. Gitter's in on.

Put cannabus in their bath, bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cap ball tip dog. Now I'm a mute to cat called Herbie in the waisted straight to what like a dollar sign?

Mother?

Rent the lover? When so with it like a water summary, you ren the winter essential will when the summertime? I do what all ain't no one that needs to run it by