We're Not Really Strangers

Hey, y'all, it's Erica. Listen this episode. I'm so excited for you guys to hear me and Mila really got to dig deep ask each other some questions that as friends, I don't think we've ever asked or even thought to ask one another. This game that we play is pretty amazing and I'm really excited for you guys to tune in and listen to all the gems and things that come up during the episode. But I did want to

Welcome back to Good Mom's Dad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Lula and it's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday, Happy Wednesday.

Honey. Hi, how are you?

I'm pretty good?

How are you?

You're the only person in the world that I love.

Call me honey? Why I don't like it? Did you like when woman call you honey?

But I don't.

I think you know I'm not saying it and it's condescending.

No, I know.

But do you do you like woman call you honey? If it's condescending?

No, even in general, you're like, well, you don't mind when people call you honey.

I feel like I'm not sugared by it, unless it feels like that you're getting smart. But when I say honey, I i's genuinely. I know, I know, I'm just I just asked that because I know, like a lot of people will.

Be like that is call me honey. Do not call me honey.

I am nobody's motherfucking honey too. Like if I have a book, yes, honey.

It's like if it's like a bitch that I don't know, I'm like, thanks, honey, Like that's different.

But I'm not that type of bitch. I don't talk like that in general, So tell me, honey, let me see that sounds. Hey, honey, how are you?

How are you doing?

Honey? You got I'm good. I feel like everyone thinks some condescending soythe I was.

Gonna say everything I said, that's for you. We used to call my great grandmother honey. Really mm hm that was herding. That's not her name as a a Caulder.

So I don't know.

I don't know what you mean, though, I want me to think of something. No, no, no, no.

I was just it just came to my mind because I know that you say that often, and I often wondered how you felt about people calling you honey, because I know you're particular about certain things, and I know that women are particular about sweety honey, sweetie.

I don't like don't call me sweete. I don't like that, no matter if it's condescending or not. If it's not condescending, I'm not gonna be triggered by it. But I feel like sweetie is.

Like from someone you don't know, it's generally condescending or this is a very prime example of bitches are crazy. It not honey, but sweety Now, what the fuck does that mean?

Oh my god.

Anyway, Well, but you know what, I think my kindness, like, I'm very nice mostly. I think some people, like New Yorker New York women, I think people take it as disingenuous, but it's just my personality.

I know, you're a genuine asked bitch.

Anyway, if you see me in the streets and I call you honey, I'm not being disingenuous.

Love Erica. On the other end, maybe I might.

I mean I probably won't, but you know, people always get the wrong question, so you know, there's that.

Anyway, how'd you weake anything new going on?

I went to the beach yesterday, which was nice with Nearlyn and our girls, and I just chilled.

It was a really nice day. I needed to just I haven't had a break from motherhood and like.

Since we got back in Costa Rica pretty much.

So it's been like almost three and a half weeks that I've had like I've had every every single day.

I thought she didn't go over there at all with that father. No, the father is gone for like one day, two days. He like pickture up from school and dropped her back often.

Wow, with that father, No no, he's he's on tour, and so you know, and my mom is also on tour, and my dad is also on tour.

Her dad's on tour.

Wow, I don't have the typical grandparents that are sitting the ass down waiting to take their grandchildren in.

I am so grateful for those typical motherfucking grandparents that I.

Have, like none on my side. But on the other side.

Oooh.

One thing I've chose, right, is I chose the good grandparents.

Yeah.

No, I I oh need, I need a break and I wasn't gonna I know, I wasn't gonna get one. So I was like, hey, Maryland, you want to go to the beach and our kids can babysit each other. Yeah, And that's what happened. I went shopping.

I thought a really cute ass toe ring that I'm not wearing right now.

I think toe rings are my new jam.

I love toe rings that they hurt.

Side, I think I don't have it on because in the middle of the night, I got fed up and I fucking ripped it off.

It's like they hurt. I want anyone that's comfortable.

Also, like, I think I make my ankles too tight because I always end up popping.

But I love body jewelry. Yeah, I think I'm gonna stuck up my toes.

They'll be cute.

I want some toe rings. I want to get my nipples pierced again.

But I'm scared because I know I'm not having no babies for like ever or long ass time.

I took my mind out when I was when I was like nine months parted it like sex. You know, I don't like to wear bras. Ooh, I don't know.

My ariolas are fucking huge, so I don't think. I feel like nipple piercings.

Are just not gonna.

I mean, this is literally literally the most painful thing you could ever do.

I don't even know why I said that. I'm totally like.

I remember when I got my tongue pierced. I was, yeah, I was on mushrooms. Actually, piercing your tongue doesn't hurt. It really does not hurt. It's the aftermath that hurts. It's the well I was also on mushrooms.

Was that? But why don't you do it on mushrooms? Because why not? When you're eighteen in New York City.

And you're on mushrooms, why not get your tongue paires and all. My friend got her nipples Paris on mushrooms.

Oh I thought that shit hurt like a muzz Yeah I did. And that's why I was like, I watched it happened. I was like, oh, hell no.

I am doing that ship. The mushrooms did not do shit for her.

The only that'll do shit.

I think the only way I do it again is if I had two piercers at the same time, Cerson at the same time, because that second one, when you know what that first one feels.

Like, bitch, It's like that's like the eyebrow waxing or like or like Cucci wax.

Oh, that Kuchi wax is hard. Wouldn't do a lot of ship. I think I would have waxed my coushie it has been.

I can wax it for you, bitch. You waxed my mustache was and you were so aggressive. I'm you were moving so mean to me.

You were so mean. I was like, treat your quiet now.

But like first one, we're standing in the kitchen and you're like backing up like bit time.

I'm I supposed to watch you.

I'm not Cuccie will be backing up for you, okay, like I need to do. I just like sugar waxing once and that was like the least is that what it is?

Sugar?

It was the least painful of experience I've had. But I haven't waxed in probably like five years.

Because he's allergic to waxing. I usually shaved. But I'm like, I'm very like, I'm I'm like a nature woman right now, I'm so hairy.

I was like this, this is so.

I was like, I might as well as wax it like funck shaving.

I've grown it to the point of waxing, and I don't want it to come back for at least three weeks, So yup.

If they want to do it. Anyway, Enough about my kuchi.

And your forest are my mushroom tongue ring experience. Do we have a car to die? Oh? Of course we do. We're pulling a lot of pentacles latelace. Oh. A lot of money happening because we're rich bitches. Today's card you've pulled is the seven of Pentacles, and I don't know my ten and the seven of Pentacles.

First of all, I've learned that my picking every Wednesday is that pinnacles usually have to do a fine answers. The seven of Pednacles shows you understand the value of putting in time and energy now for longer term rewards and have strong desire to invest in sustainable results. You are not looking for quick wins. You also want to make sure you're putting your attention on the right areas instead of wasting time and effort on tasks that will

Celebrate what you have created and assess your progress so far. Are you on track? Are you focused on the right task and for your goal?

Similarly, if you're planning for the future, the seven of Pinnacles encourages you to take a long term view and assess where you can best invest your time and energy for the maximum output. You do not want to keep putting your heart install into something if you won't read the rewards for your work. And you have undoubtedly seen that some areas in your life are just energy suppers.

Wow, it could go for a lot of things, not just finances.

If you're working hard and putting an extra effort into something challenging and important for the last few months.

Then depper's or project is near it's culmination. Rest assured your work will pay off.

You're likely to see financial or other intangible rewards for all of your hard work.

I've been manifesting this.

This has been under my candle every every moon, just like basically all my.

Efforts being fruitful, all the things that.

I've been putting in and removing the things that I'm putting energy into.

That are not breathing, that are not fruitful.

Lest like create space. Yeah, I feel that. I feel that deeply.

You know, I'm quint of putting much my efforts into places that may not be fruitful.

But like that's more like people not necessarily.

Financially or something I don't like do a lot of pyramid schemes or anything like that.

Yet not I don't.

That's not my thing, not cham But you know, i'd be loving on people and been like, are.

You my husband? Probably that, but I still love you, stick stay forever. You're not my husband, No, but just stay with me. Because then I went.

I think women do that in general, though, but I do feel like we've been working very, very very hard in our business and in our brand. And I keep saying this like to you and to my friends, is like, I know.

We're really close.

I'm like, there's like I we're clear about what it is that we're trying to achieve, but there's just like this like this little gap of like, oh well, it's just we're not rich yet.

So there's the part that we're not rich, so we'll be it rich. It's gonna go crazy over here. We are rich.

We are rich in mind, body, and sphere.

This is true of our kids are healthy.

Our bodies are healthy.

We woke up this morning, everything works properly.

Thank god. You know it's we are rich.

We're rich in so many other more important ways, and all that shit will come because we have stuff thinking we have to.

Not have a what is it?

What was what did she call it? The wealth?

Which I guess it was like a deficit in our I don't know, scarcity. That's scarcity complex and like in money and finances, and it.

Just it bleeds into all areas of life. So not having enough, Yeah, I don't know when does this come out.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you off I haven't told any of those stories, so I'm just gonna tell you anyway. Do you have an affirmation for us today? Today's affirmation is I am rich than in more ways than one. I am rich in more ways than one. I am rich in more ways than one. Did you have one?

I just know that was great.

You know whatever inspires you.

We're rich. We're rich, bitches. I am that.

Bitch, and I'm not gonna take your ship.

I am going to get that bag. Wait, okay whatever insert song here. Yeah, yeah, we're.

Rich in love and friendship and wealth were loved. I'm not like complaining at all, So you're right. Well, I'm excited because we have been like.

Sort of playing this game, but not really fully playing this game. And I think it's time to finally play this game. And if you guys haven't heard of We're not really strangers.

It's a card game.

It's a purpose driven card game, and it's basically supposed to kind of peel back the layers of perception, connection and reflection amongst friends and lovers and lovers.

And you're my best friend, and I feel like we know each other really well.

But there's always more. There's always you know.

Things that maybe have are unseat or need to be said. What better place to do it than in front of everyone.

Yeah, you a love to just feel back our layers right here.

You have no idea how often Erica and I have addressed things between us.

For the first time on.

The mic, true, like, I have something to tell you right now, not twenty minutes ago before we started shot.

I gonna take something right right this fucking moment.

Okay, so we're gonna we're getting into it.

We're not really strangers. Okay, so I'm gonna.

I'm gonna read the instructions just this first part because I thought it was funny the way they worded it, and also we have.

To do it.

So okay, wait, First of all, we planned this last night and this morning.

I forgot so on the way over. When I thought about it because she forgot the cards, I wouldn't go pick them up. I'm like, do I feel like getting deep in shit this morning? But no choice.

It would be this like sense tovesk that she was concerned about getting deep in the morning.

In the meanwhile, the one who's like, don't ask me anything, Yeah, I don't.

I don't want to ask any much I'll give you all my advice, tell me all your tell me all your secrets.

I'll tell you exactly what you need to do. Don't ask me shit.

Okay, So sit facing one another with level one cards facing down.

Now, stare deeply into each other's eyes. Seriously, stare deep into each other's eyes. The first two. Blake draws first. Okay, sorry, ready, he's fased down. I don't yes, because you can't see them. Think, how are they all? I think I don't know they're all.

I don't know him.

I took them out of the wrapping a main rope flip flopped.

So apparently that's how it supposed to be. Okay, So staring competition right my eyes already arding.

It was really weak.

It wasn't wait like twice Bishop, I'm like, I'm looking at you, Blake.

Okay, so I have to pick first?

Yeah, Level one last.

The Level one is perception. Who do you think my celebrity crushes?

Yah yah?

That guy? Yeah?

Okay? True? Why true? Do you know who ya ya is? Guys?

Hes fuck and actually trap.

Yoga Bay went to school with him. I can't wait to me, I look, we gotta hang out with her. We gotta run into him. So then she like, I'm not gonna put task together or you'd be like hey, And actually I pulled open my trunk.

Why did I?

I don't don't don't ever buy vacazines, but I must have bought his cover of like Essence magazine.

It was in my trunk and I opened it yesterday and I was like, should I throw it away? Do you think I threw that away? Throw away? Got it? Just if anyone can hear and knows you Didna, that's mine makes a link. Put us in a DM together or something. Yeah. Okay, did your say wildcard? Is that wildcard? It says wildcard?

Yeah. That means you have to pick it.

You have to just make some shut up ask and answer the next question in a different accent. Hell this next question? Oh okay, sorry, so this is the wildcard. I have to do it in an accent. Okay, that's so funny.

Little just asked me if I can do an English accent and it was like, not that good, but we could practice.

Do I remind you of anyone? No, bitch, because I'm one of the fucking kind.

No, you don't, you don't.

You don't remind me of anyone, because you have one of the kind. I never met a creature like you, bitch? Why thank you, dear? Not to be not to be confused with honey, my dear. I feel like English people say yes, Dan, thank you, moll Ti.

I get English and Australian fucked up that I'm in the crocodile dune it quickly, Okay, what character would I play in moving?

Any character? Because you're an actress, I have this still. Okay, that's good, Yeah, finish the sentence. Just by looking at you, just by looking at you, I.

Think you're a witch.

Okay, what do you think I'm most likely to splore? John like traveling you.

Are my bitch, that's my bitch.

I was like, if we're rich, that's okay. I'm gonna just go for right now. Do I seem like someone who would get a name tattooed on myself? Why?

Why not?

Yes?

You fucking love love.

I'm surprised you don't have all your niggas tatted all over your fucking body.

One of my niggers just asked me recently, like my name tattooed? And I was like, Eric would kill me?

In English?

What you mean?

It's the same shit at any language pitch.

I was like, where, of course to say over your pussy, and no, it was like on my collar bone. And I was like, all, so, okay, that's a bit much, right. That's the fact that I even asked, fact, the fact that I considered Eric would be so mad aware but language, you're right? Fuck you know me? I have my maybe NAT's name tattooed on me for like two like for like a month. You did, yeah when that dragon is?

And then my dad found the receipt in the office because I'm dumb, But what tattoo artists writes a receipt lower back?

Bobby? It literally said Bobby quotes. Oh my god, we're gonna have to.

Quote at this point. I don't think we've never okay, learned out. I'm sure I don't have timestamps.

Is what time is that?

Whatever? We don't have if we don't have our podcast our podcast producers.

In here today, so we have no we have no not for being taken. Okay, it'll be fine. How many speeding tickets do you think I've gotten in my life too? None, bitch, I've gotten to never.

Everyone is always complaining about my driving, Yet I have never gotten a speeding ticket.

I've only gotten a cell phone ticket, and any car.

Accient I've ever been and has not been my fault.

That's not okay, it's totally not true. It's true. That's fad wild card. Close your eyes. What color is my shirt? Me?

Yeah?

Great?

Yeah?

It do. I seem like more of a creative or analytical type. Explain creative.

You're a little analytical.

You're more analytical than me, but you're more definitely work to explain why. It's just how you were born, sweetie.

It's just who you are this way.

I don't know why God makes you this way.

You like to create shit, photo shoots, podcasts, four hundred businesses fare What was your first impression of me?

Lucky?

Why? Uh? Because I was skinny?

Yeah? Wow, Well because you were skinny. I remember specifically in the pool when because you came over and we went swimming that first day and you were breastfeeding Luna like in the pool, and I was really jealous. I was because I was like I had at that point kind of given up on breastfeeding. I've kind of felt like a failure and I kind of felt like I wasn't a good mom. Because I couldn't do it, and I was like, oh my god, look at her. She's

Oh no, babe, And.

I think you were. Yeah, you're still with your baby daddy. At the time, I felt like you had it more together than I did.

I don't know why the fuck you thought that I was not. Well.

Yeah, but actually the first time I was this was Sawyer met you.

Just your first impression of me.

My fresh Okay, so actually my first Yeah, it was lucky because the first impression was actually not even when I met you. It was on Instagram and I was like, how the fuck is this bitch so cute? Pregnant? The fuck she's like skinny with just a bump and then had this baby and still looks the same. Like I'm literally felt like a slob. I was like, how the fuck who is this bitch? I need to know her? Fuck her.

I want to be your friend. Oh babe, I thought you were lucky too, because you got engaged and it was a fat ass ring. I'm like they're probably doing great over there, and I was drowning and.

I should have said, I was literally thinking about that on the freeway the other day, that I should have never given that ring back.

You should have never told you, ladies, listen up.

If you are about to break up with your fiance husband, don't you fucking dare give that ring back?

Shu Lee. If that motherfucker fucked up, it is yours forever. You should have thought about that shit before you fucked it up and fucked up the contract.

I just knew, you know what it was. I was so angry when all of our shit went down the way it did and hurt, and I knew that he had worked so hard to give me that ring because it was fat, it was a big ass diamond that I was like, I don't want this shit, so I just threw it at him. And I'm sure that fucking ring is like three chains right now. For sure, he's got like three fucking diamond chains off that shit.

He could have that shit because I'll buy you a ring.

And I was thinking, damn, I could have bought my titties with that ring like my mom did.

I'm gonna buy you a ring, my mom.

Bought her titties with my dad's engagement rings. You could have just been a repeating history essentially, That's what I'm doing. Anyway.

You could be like me and get nothing but a baby. So no boobs, no ring, just sorrow, sadness, sorrow, sorrow, time wasted. Okay, what do you think is the hardest part of what I do for a living? Everything, all of it. It's hard, juggling, balancing. I think balancing is the hardest part. Amen, What about me intrigues you?

I feel like you are really are much better at like even though like your people person and you're an oversharer, I feel like you are more of a less of an open book than I am in ways, and I think people, yeah, because you have your own little secret life over there, you do, you'd be doing weird shit on the weekends and I have no idea about it. I just feel like you have a lot of different things about like that you do. I don't know which

I do do some shit on the weekends.

It's that Gemini.

It's like, let me tell you what I did two weeks ago, to tell you.

It's the Gemini in you. And that's why I think I'm very attracted to Geminis because you're hard to figure out.

That's crazy, because I think I'm the most too openness bitch. Can you please shut the fuck up? Sometimes? Ask book girl? Close the book? Okay, nobody needs to read it? Fuck too honest, Like, sometimes you need to shut the fuck up, Jamilla.

Damn. What about me is the most strange or unfamiliar to you?

What's the most strange or unfamiliar unfamiliar? I don't know at this point. Everything's very familiar, strange, maybe doing some strange shit. Ah, this is difficult. What is the most strange or unfamiliar? I'm trying to think of, like the strangest thing I've seen you do. I really hate that you keep putting almond butter in every fucking smoothie. Jesus Christ. It's the most fucking cardboard additive to a.

Smooth as protein. Not strange, you know, it's really range is your flexitarian diet.

And then you're spashing me publicly, bitch eakes pork fucking tacos only in Mexico and shit, and they're like, you eat terribly. I'm like, bitch, the fuck I know you? You know that, right?

Whatever?

What do my shoes tell you about me? Your shoes of them that I'm a stripper, that you are.

A stripper, and that you love I feel like you're stuck in the two thousands. Sometimes you're stuck in the early two thousands. A certain shoe looks good on me, like the late ninety nines, early two thousands, spice girls.

I'm sure.

I like everything with a platform.

I like big.

The fact that you shoes went like, went crazy to find these specific shoes, guys, Look, we're holding it up to the camera. You see these. She was like googling for her life, trying to find cork platformed, clear shoes.

With clear platform six inch platforms. Yes, that's true.

I haven't seen someone wear those since fran Dresher.

You know how long it took me to find them?

I know because you were looking for weeks.

I don't like the new school shoes. These are the ones that look good on me, and those really weren't the ones that I wanted. There was another one that Steve Madden used to make, but that's oh.

They're out of style. They're not.

They're not like the wooden bottoms, like, what are they clogs? No number can.

Basically I know, and I'm let you had it right. Do you think I've ever checked an ex's phone for evidence?

For sure?

It's a fact. I haven't checked many though, because I've always felt so violated. I've always dated such like possessive men that I really made an effort to not look. And I really genuinely think if you look, you're gonna find some shit that you're not gonna like like. And sometimes I like to live in the space of like, I don't know what's happening, because inevitably, I trust the universe is always gonna give me the information, and she always does. So I don't really go through people's phones,

Yeah, I've done it. My babydady was a liar, though most niggas are liars. I'll do it like howsually, I'll look over, especially if you if you slip and it's just next to me and it's open. But I feel the same way. If you look, you shall find some shit. One time I was so determined to like get a good look at it, my baby daddy fell asleep. I don't know if I put the phone by his face, so I recognized. Then I left the house, got into the car, locked the door. This nigga must have woke

Wows are crazy?

Okay, what's the first thing you noticed about me?

You're small physique.

I'm very small, you guys, not very small. I'm thaker than a snicker. But for some reason, and people see me, they're always like, oh my god, you're so small. There's so much older than Erica. I am like six inches shorter than Erica five six. Yeah, I'm six inches short. I don't feel that way though I don't either.

Whenever we do take pictures, I'm like, Wow, I am bigger than you.

It's because I'm big in spirit.

Do I seem like a coffee or tea person? Sweetened or unsweetened coffee?

One yellow splenda? That is it? Almond milk?

Accurate?

Wow? We go together? Why do I get I'm a wild girl at all? The wild cards? Draw a picture together? For thirty seconds?

We need to draw one together. I don't have a pencil.

I'm a better drawer anyway. What you should that pick? Okay, I'll show you much pictures. What do you think my go to karaoke song is?

Wait?

I just went before you say this. I just want you to know. I have a notes in my phone and it just says karaoke. I'm not a frequenter of karaoke. I haven't gone in years, but just in case, they're in my phone.

There's two officially missing you to me.

My request.

Okay, I saw your request it so I know it's fact.

Another one is silly of me to thing that you could have ever really want me too? Okay, I like that one until my phone I forgot I know that song.

I just thought maybe you know. Wait, let's see how you have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine. Okay, we have six more rounds guys before we move on to connection. If you were to buy me a present knowing nothing about me other than what I look.

Like, what would it be good?

Yeah? Because I like gold, but the bitch is my presence.

Okay, but I don't if I don't know you gold. Everybody looks jewelry. I would buy something expensive. Look like a rich bitch.

Okay, yeah like that, I'm a rich bitch.

Not yeah like that?

Like that?

What is my phone? Wallpaper? Tell you about me?

Six years?

All paper tell you about me? Boy? Yeah?

Uh that you haven't updated it in six years.

Wait, First of all, it's me and Luna when she was like two. But let me tell you how I got here. One time, my best friend made a comment about another mom that the child wasn't on her wallpaper, and I was like, am I bad mom? Because I get my wallpaper and I changed it. I never changed it back. I literally don't look at like I just I don't look at it. But you know what tip quick tip that I did do before I got pregnant.

So there you go. She works wild card. Write down something others would never guess about you just by looking at you. Both players compare.

I've had at least six wet dreams about Eminem. Eminem. It's better than fucking Howard Stern and six though that's like you came. Yeah, I'm grossed out. I don't even know if we're actually friends. I'm shocked.

It started when I was like stop, just take my first one. I was around age fifteen, okay, and then it's carry on through adulthood.

I don't know what if anyone knows Eminem. He this is my second time kind of hearing you say that. I'm always trying to act like I didn't hear it.

Mela, I'm a sub and a dom. I'm pretty sure people know this too. Okay, Well, I look innocent, though, do you, I think, so this is the dumbo. Do I look kind?

Yes?

Explain you just have an inviting demeanor about you, which is why you are. I've always told you like you are a light, like literally like the light in the house that all the bugs like fucking just like anywhere we go, Mila will make a friend. If you ever want to go to an event and you just need that friend who is going to be able to hold her own, call Mela like she's that friend. You don't got to worry. She goes and probably leave you and go somewhere else with some other people.

It's true. If you think the night is over and I met friends that are doing something else, I'm probably gonna stay with them. Oh you're just going home. I'm gonna just stay with George and Jill over here. Don't worry, I'll be fine.

This is exactly what happened in Nashville. I was like, where are you going?

And I always I'm like, why didn't you let me go? The next day, like why didn't you just make me leave? You know, I need to be told. There's been so many times in my mind I'm like, bitch, you've got I don't know, I've literally reflected like you didn't do nothing that time. It's literally your face, like, why are we talking to this person? Twenty minutes later, still you're walking down the street. You have shit to do.

Okay, this is the last one. Do you think I fall in love easily? Why? Or why not?

I don't think you fall in love easily. I think you fall in love more easy than you think though you think, well, bitch, I just heard about the romantic gift you just gave a guy.

That doesn't mean I love him. No, No, I don't think you fall No. I definitely fall in love easy er than Erica. I think I used to fall in love really eazy. I always had boyfriends, like back to back to back boyfriends. Oh yeah, I think that I Yeah, I think he retired. I have a boundary. I have a boundary up, which is like I get scared sometimes, like am I capable of loving someone like how I used to love before? Like selfish, like like totally selflessly?

But yeah, okay, round too, Round two, Level too, Level two. Have you ever told someone I love you but didn't mean it?

If so, why yes? During sex?

Because they kept saying it because.

I did feel like I loved them during sex fair, I love you, I love this dick, and then when we were done, I was like, I don't love you and I love the dick. And now you think I loved you because I fucked you like I loved you, and now I'm fucked.

Yeah.

No, literally and figuratively.

Yes.

What is the last thing you lied to your mother about, Jamila?

I know you're not talking. I don't know. Probably like paying a parking ticket. I love. My parents are very annoying to me. They're always bitching, so I'm probably lying a lot. Shut up. Yeah, it's done. Yeah I did do that. They still think I live in the back room. Wild Card. Admit something.

I admit something. I am scared of success, full success, because I don't know how I'll maintain it. I feel you, girl, Yeah, I'm scared of being successful in ways because I don't know how I'll maintain it. It's like one of my biggest fears of like, Okay, work so hard, I get all the shit and then it's here and then I'm like, how do I keep this shit?

Yeah? That's scary. Like, as you grow in anything, you're like, damn, I got this apartment, how this fucking rent? Oh damn I got this car? Oh damn? Like I got this business and now we have employees and people. Fuck shit, must keep going.

It's scary girl. So the other night I was masturbating and my vibrator died. So I was like, cool, no problem, open up my door. You know I'm have the Queen of vibrators. I pulled another one out. Bitch that one died too. No, Like God doesn't want me to have pleasure. Okay, So that's why I was like, yo, I need to find a vibrator first of all that stays charged. Second of all, that will let me know when it's gonna die.

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Wild card. Call someone you admire and tell them why you appreciate them. Put on speakerphone. Okay, are you gonna call?

I'm gonna call Nisha.

Hopefully she answers she had two kids.

Nope, she ain't gonna answer. Who's next? Okay, next person is going to be Ashley. Oh and she's answering. Hello, Hey, hey, bo, how are you? Hey?

I'm just untacking.

Okay, I'm good, I'm good. I just wanted to tell you that I really admire you. I think that you are an amazing woman. And yeah, and that you I'm impressed by you because everything that you do, you just fucking do it. You are willing to work through everything. You're so creative, and I know that sometimes you don't

Thank you.

What is It's part of like a like a like a five steps kind of I'm playing this card game and I got a wild card game. A wild card. It told me to call someone I admire and tell them why, Oh thanks girl. Yeah, I love you.

Thank you.

That means a lot to me, especially coming from you.

I love you, I love you, I really mean all those things. Oh I love you too. Who are you playing this game with Mela? Hi? Mila and the podcast?

Okay, I'm over here like crying out.

Oh I love you. You really are. You're so amazing. And I saw your YouTube's like you are the ship. You're really shit.

You everything great.

I've seen you start so many different businesses and do every single one like super well, like not half asked, and thank you are incredible and you're a good ass. Mom.

Thank you so much. That means so much. Thank you.

You're welcome.

All right, Well, now I can continue doing laundry.

Okay, I love you, love you.

Give the baby the kiss for me. Bye, I'm gonna cry. I love my friend. Oh I love her, I really do. Okay, Okay, okay, we aren't really strangers.

Oh my god, is it my turn?

Yeah? I guess Okay, sorry. How can you become a better person?

How can I become a better person? I could become a better person, probably by giving less of myself to some things. I could probably prioritize myself and the things that are my priorities better. I think that would make me a better person. Also, I could go to therapy. Okay, stop avoiding the work. Cool, it's my turn.

Okay.

And what question are you trying to answer most in your life right now? Okay? Level two?

How do I make all of my efforts fruitful? Back to the affirmation of today, Like, how do I make everything that I'm doing worth it all? Because sometimes I feel disconnected from my m from the work that I'm doing. Because sometimes I feel like I get in these weird modes where I'm like, what am I working so hard for? Just go live in the jungle. This is pointless. There's your find wealth and health and so much more there. And then I'm like, no, but I really fucking like

Oh what question are you trying to answer most in your life?

Oh? Yeah, how do I? Yeah? How do I make all those things happen? Finish the sentences. Strangers would describe me as blank. Only I know that I am blank.

Strangers would describe me as I'm pretty. I think I'm an open book. I was gonna say, oh, an extrovert. Only I would know that I am have stage fright.

Yeah, it's true. I mean, I don't really think you have stage fright, but I know that you think you do.

I do.

I think that you actually perform really well under pressure.

But I think that it's not that I don't have stage fright, it's that I push past it to engage. I'm like, I'm so scared and anyway, reminder, be more interested in understanding others than being understood.

Be more interested in understanding others than being understood.

At this point in my life, I feel like expect to be misunderstood and be okay with it.

M h.

Not only that, like expect to be misunderstood and be at peace with it.

You know what. I had this dream last night and I told my mom about it because it was she was in it, and I felt so real because it is like a feeling that I have had to work through with her and feeling like whatever I'm doing is not impressive or it's not enough for your mom. And in the dream, I had this dream that like she called me or she texts me. And there's this girl that I know who I've known her since middle school. She's a dermatologist, she's getting married, she's like super successful,

I'm happy you told her that you had this random dream that's big.

Yeah, She's like, I'm so proud of you. I'm so like you are amazing. Like and I was like, maybe that's the dream I needed to have because I needed to hear that right and then to hear that question or that reminder is affirming. So yeah, what was that again?

Rate reading be more in interested in understanding others than being understood?

Yeah?

Does that NICEA I'd expect to be misunderstood, expect not to be under be understood and accept that and be okay with it.

And you know, I've also been feeling like really empowered and where we are. But also there's times where I feel insecure about what we do when dating, Like I feel like not insecure, but I'm like, are you okay with this? Like I want to make sure you're okay with this? Like because whoever, like this person that I'm talking to, I'm like, feel I find myself cringing if he listens, And I'm like, why do I cringe? This is my like what I do, Like, yeah, listen to

Are you gonna ask me later to like tone down a little bit?

Like yeah, so ooh your my stomach, jeez. I'm still working through insecurities guys.

As we all are, Babe, we're're a human.

When you're asked how are you? How often do you actually answer truthfully?

Probably like twenty percent of the time. I'm answering honestly because I think I am programmed to be okay. I'm programmed to be good, like I don't. I'm programmed that everything is working out in it's best favor. And I'm also the type of person is like someone has it way worse than you, Like what you're complaining about is small, and like everything, I talk myself down a lot, like you are good, everything's fine, you're healthy. You know, like

I mean even today when I called you, I was like, are you okay? And she was like, yeah, I'm fine. I was like why are you lying? I was like why are you lying? And she was you were like no, I just and then you told me what happened, and I was like I could feel that there was like something, I know, but I just felt like there was something. But I was like, I'm sure you were good. I'm just saying like I know that there's been times where you've said you're gooding or not good, and I have

Be my psychic which friend like you're lying? And then I'm like, you're right. Fuck, I'm a mess. Should we do a couple? Level three? Since we're gonna wrap this up? Okay, let's just wow, because we are really strangers?

Really works?

Yeah?

So level three is what is it?

Reflection?

God?

I don't think I really wanted to aviy to do this. That was better off in connection? Okay, reflection? How would you describe? Did we do this one? Or rather, how would you describe me to a stranger? M hmm okay, how would you describe me to a stranger?

Uh? Fun, smart, nurturing, and uh wild?

Okay, oh wait your turn?

What about me surprised you the most?

That you're a little wild too? I didn't know that about you at first.

Why is it surprising?

I don't know, I think honestly, I don't. It wasn't surprising really know you that well. But I think when we started this podcast, whatever point in that in your life that I think you did shift to be more open. And I don't think I've been told that from friends of.

Yours that I shifted to be more open.

Yeah, since like the beginning of the podags, Oh yeah, well for sure. Yeah, so maybe like even I was like surprised to hear that, or maybe that you have it all together. You know, like prior to me being your like close friend, I also thought that you were like getting married. Everything was perfect. You had like your rapper boyfriend fiance. You wanted to make it to get married. You know, like you were living out the dream like

No, It's true. I think that. Like I feel like I was pretty wild most of my life. I think even in my relationship when I started dating my baby daddy, we still had a lot of fun, Like I mean, yeah he's a rapper, Like we were going to parties, were like, you know, having drunken nights. I guess I think I've just but I think within my limitations and

They know none of my friends. Sometimes I would tell them like maybe things that we would do together, and like, really I wouldn't see Erica doing that. I'm like, oh, but I you see me doing it.

Maybe that was just some some projecting onto you.

Yeah, I mean or perception perception, perception is crazy.

I just maybe I didn't put I guess if you look at my Instagram, it looks like, I don't know, like what you would perceive, maybe differently now than then. But I'm just I just found that interesting because I've always felt like the wild friend. But that's interesting that you didn't think that I was.

I mean, obviously that's why we started the podcast When you told me that story about the couple. What would be the perfect gift for me?

Really delicious meal somewhere, my favorite date of fancy date, good food.

I love dates.

Yeah, you're not really into like material things like that, so I feel like a vacation and an all expense paid trip.

Yeah that's true. Yeah, that's all true.

Yeah you would like that.

Yeah, you like that, it's true.

Give your partner a hug, not the crappy kind a warm, fluffy one.

M I love you so much. Me and Erica hug a lot. But I think we were hugging in the office one day and her stepdad was there, was like everything okay, We're like yeah, just hugging. It's like okay, like fucking lets mid day hugs. What do you admire most about me?

Did you get that?

Mm hmm. What do you admire most about you? I think we asked this on our friends on our podcast episode.

With Oh Friends a Friend and Jane.

I admire your capacity for love, like to love and care truly like I do, like you are and that and you are a light like and it's it's so admirable. And to see how people trust you and flock to you and like and how you have this balance of being able to nurture all of them where they all feel cared for. I'm like, I'm like, I don't know how you do it like and you do it well and somehow you still have energy.

I'm a cancer.

It's crazy.

It's my motherly energy. But I can only have one child. I have so many children in life.

Based on what you learned about me, what book would you recommend I read?

Because I'm the fucking books Burt. Let me tell you from my life. If books, the book that would be best fitting for you, Erica is right here. I'll three with the store.

I could pick another one.

Okay, please don't have The Alchemist.

That's like everyone's book.

I love that book. Oh I also did you read uh the Celestine Prophecy? I want you to read that one too?

Okay? So should I not read this?

You and everyone else?

What about me is hardest for you to understand?

You'd be moody? You're moody. I don't think anyone understands the moody has been like not this week. But I'm moody. But I'm not that moody. And that's why everybody's moodyness? I might all have time for this today. I don't know what's wrong with you. You don't know me there. I don't understand it, and I'm like, people just be moody, Jamila, I'm like, you need to be mood So that's why I don't know what's wrong to be an attitude. I don't even know how to be I don't even know

Should we do it? Okay?

Okay, since we can wrap up for our next recording. Sure, okay, the final card that you pull, we are supposed to read it. Wait, I just want to ask one more, one more. We could both answer it.

Okay.

What am I most qualified to give advice about?

Wow?

I think everyone should know this.

Well, what are you the most qualified advice?

Yeah? Hmmm, I think you're the most qualified to give advice about balance, I mean the balance, boundaries, boundaries. You're good at boundaries.

You are the most qualified to give advice about. I feel like understanding the societies basically what the podcast is about, like like unlearning societal norms. You have a beautiful way of like explaining why things should be looked at from both perspectives or from many different perspectives. And when I hear you talk about it, you talk about it always so eloquently, and it just like rolls off your time, Like did you study that? How did you know how

It makes me feel very philosophers. You as Socrates, my love Socrates, I've changed my name.

Okay, So the final card for this game, we are supposed to read and then write a note to one another about it and exchange the notes and then read them when we're not together.

Okay, but since we're not gonna do that, we're gonna just say it. Okay, since we don't fallow directions, no way. Okay, this is exactly what you just said. It just says each player write a message to the other fold in exchange open only once you two have parted. We clearly played this game today.

Okay, so we just have to write. Okay, well, yeah, we'll write the message and then we'll post it.

Okay, we'll post it.

We'll post it and you'll know what we're talking about.

This is fun. This was fun. I was skeptical. I was like, oh god, let's go deep. But I had fun. This is I recommend this. This is not an ad.

Yeah, this is not an ad at all. We've just had May actually gave us these cards and we've been sitting on them for a while and I've reposted a lot of their memes on Instagram because they just be speaking to me.

I know you guys have seen them. They're always on my feed of like two people looking at each other in a brick room, looks like they're in New York or something, and they're always getting real deep. So if you're in a relationship or with your friends, for sure, play this game.

This is yeah.

I want to. We might need to get junk and plays as all our friends.

I know. Okay, I think this is check out. We're not really strangers. Well, guys, thank you for joining us.

We love you.

We hope that you are having a great week, and that you have rated and reviewed our podcast because we're.

Not really strangers. Were strangers?

Were your friends? Go leave your friends some reviews on Apple Podcasts. Hit that five star rating, baby, and uh what else?

That's it? You know? Email us we need.

Hories, Send us some hories. We need hories. We need If you guys think, If you guys, are you know how any topics you want us to discuss, please share them? D m us. You can email us at production at Good Momsbad Choices dot com and in the in the title put suggestions, questions, hories.

We'd love that we answer advice questions because we're expert advice givers. We'll read your hories, even anonymously, your hories or your horror stories. And yeah, engage with us. We've be run and re be running out of ideas, so help a bitch out.

All right, we'll see you guys next week.

Bye bye, Ella solo recorder La. Let's us say us

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