Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.
I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy Wednesday, Witches.
It's top day, bitches. How you do Onceitches? I'm about to drop some fourth because my name is Erica and I could drive four Wow.
That was beautiful.
That's as far as it goes my mind. I'm high. So that's that's it.
Guys, Welcome back to the show.
Oh you know what, you know what? Sorry, I just remembered I've have been writing poetry again, so I think that maybe at some point I do need to bring back like my my wraps and my readings for my journal.
Do we need to do like a poetry Slam episode? Because I have some very very emo poetry that I can dig up from my seventeen thousand journals that I have in my apartment.
Should we? I think we should? Okay, Okay, I like that.
Oh my god, right, yeah.
Good Mom's Poetry Slam.
Yes, Oh my god, it's so good. We could like put like snaps in the back. My name is jam. I didn't have a little lamb. Her fleece was not white as snow. She always wanted more.
And I gotta work on it.
But you know, yeah, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho.
But it ain't Christmas, Oh nope, it's August.
You know, I was a deep fucking poetry writer all throughout my teenage years, like deep as hell. I had, Like yeah, I had deep poetry aspirations. And I'm so glad that we've created a platform or we could do whatever the fuck we want, including bringing back our teenage.
I knew that one day these would see the light of day.
Do we need to have like a poetry show?
Maybe maybe it's like a poetry after hours with good moms.
Yeah, Lisa, I'm looking forward to this. I have some deep shit to say.
You guys, she really is. She's just I saw you. Just think about what the one specific.
Welcome back to the show.
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How you doing, I'm good, I'm doing good, beautiful.
I just noticed that your scarf matches your boots. It's giving like pop a pop of color.
Yeah.
I was gonna take the scarf off, but I said, I'm a fashion icon, so I'm gonna do two prints.
No, it looks good. If you're on YouTube, make sure you check out Jamila's outfit. Wait, shake it up and show the people because remember the girl said she wants us to show her outfits more often.
This is me and.
Good Mom's bad choices YouTube. Okay, okay, don't. I was told I look like it's like I'm going to space.
Here goes Erica.
She's wearing a futuristic casual business jumpsuit, but it's sleeveless and she's wearing a beautiful futuristic earring.
Is it a robot? No, it's just Erica's fat ass. No shoes because he I need choose except me. If you're wearing pink Barbie boots.
Yes, I kept it. I'm a hippie today, I'm I'm a space hippie.
I don't know what this is. This is business, cowgirl business, cowgirls, poci space hippie. Yes.
Yeah.
If you guys haven't checked out on YouTube, now is the time, because we'd be looking the fuck it.
We may be like rest enough for y'all.
We'd be having different hairstyles, be doing our makeup and sheet and we figured like, yeah, come see us, don't be talking shit, just say nice things.
Yeah, because it's some weirdos on YouTube.
So lovely, what's going on? How are you this hump day? This fun, lovely hump day?
This hump day is good. I am feeling excited because I just feel like I'm in a new season of my life, that the doors have opened and I'm walking through them and I'm grateful, and I've just been called to just really recognize how grateful i am. More and more often. This week, I've been writing in my journal more,
which has been nice. I don't know. I know that I'm supposed to write in my journal, Like this is literally like the thing that I'm told all the time by like every person that's ever read me, any therapist, all of them. But I don't know why. In my adulthood I avoid writing in my journal in my free time. So I've gotten in the habit of the first thing I do when I wake up is just like write it,
which is like pretty standard. I think that's like everyone's tip to writing, but it really helps me, Like I don't even know half the should I write. And then I went back and started reading other stuff. I actually went back and I went back and I read my twenty nineteen Life Partner Manifestation. Actually I have a picture of it here. I just read a few things, but I need to revisit that. It's so it's so interesting because the person that I'm seeing right now seems to
encompass many of these things, and they're pretty specific. Life Partner Web Funny Gentle helps me grow. I can understand or listen to my needs and not take everything personal. Hastyle loves me boldly and loudly. Protect Or Provider plays golf with my dad.
Beautiful so specific.
Golf with my dad. What else apple of his eye, loves to dance, willing to explore sexually, which is why the vitamins are very important in my lifestyle right now.
Your sexual exploration lifestyle, it's heavy on the sex. I was trying to see.
If I can find my on my phone because you know, if you put any keywords in your fucking robot find it.
It's so weird.
If you put any words in your robot phone writing, it will be there, which is fucking scary as shit. The government is fucking watching against you, guys. Get your fucking farm and get the fuck off the grid.
But yeah, So I've just been trying to let things flow out of me in the morning easily, and it feels good. So that's when I've that's what's up with me.
Do you feel like that helps with your communication and like trying to just like express things immediately how they like, how they come, instead of trying to.
Hold them in like just writing.
Yes, because I feel like I'm actually not that great off the cuff type of person, even though my whole show is podcasting. I feel like when I'm when I feel like I need to communicate feelings sometimes I feel like I need time to like organize how I'm going to say it, but then it ends up not coming out well because it feels contrived. So I think writing
helps it kind of just easily flow. And I've been told that, like in other readings, like communication because I was born on a retrograde is always difficult for me. Even though I communicate a lot, it doesn't always feel like I'm being understood a lot, or like the message is misunderstood. So one of the reasons why i'ven't always been told to write is because it's to help kind of like clear that space. And so it feels it
feels like it is. And I was like going back and reading how I write as like an early twenty year old to like how I write as a thirty four year old. It's the same, I.
Was gonna say, it's so much difference your experience.
It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's messy, I used to I don't even know, like it's just it's rambles. I was like reading so much and I'm like, what am I talking about. I was like, oh, yeah, I remember that, and that makes sense. Oh yeah, Actually, like no one else knows what that means, but I.
Do, right, Yeah, I need to be better at keeping a journal more often. I feel like I used to do it a lot in my deep poetry days and I've stopped. So I think, thank you, friend, I'm going to implement that and try to.
I feel like we talk so fucking much.
I did, But you know what, it doesn't have to be like long, because sometimes it's literally half a page that's all I got. Yeah, Yeah, I woke up and I'm like, I wrote five sentences.
I am alive and happy and well.
Yeah, And I think that's kind of like, I think that's kind of like the overall misconception of wellness in general is that you have to like take the whole bite or just don't take any at all, and so like you don't you know, like I've done that too, though, I'm like, I don't want to write because that means I have I have so much to say right now and my hand is gonna hurt, and I don't want to write four pages. I'm like, then, don't say at all. Just do what you can cliff notes true. So yeah,
when I wake up, sometimes I'll write three pages. Sometimes I'll write half a page. Sometimes I'll just write two words, you know, like this is how I feel. You know, so do it? Will you feel good about it? I will?
I will, And I'll read more too. I think reading makes me want to write more. See reading is hard for me.
I fall asleep.
Yeah, me too, Like I don't know.
I go through like phases. There's times where I can read a lot, Like I remember I read the Miles Davis autobiography and or was it his biography? Biography? And that shit was long as fuck and I couldn't believe how. I just like it was so so interesting how I just ran through it In other books too. And then there's some books where I'm like, I know, I'm supposed to read this book because everyone says this book is very important, And then I open it and I buy it,
and I'm like, Okay, I'm going to read it. It's only one hundred and twenty two pages. I can do this. And then like, I've literally been reading this book for like four years.
I've been reading books for four years.
But you know what, I just realized when you said that, I think it's actually easier for me to read books that have a storyline, you know, like I can follow in a storyline, which is crazy because like in movies, I don't really like nonfiction, but like in a storyline, I can be engaged. But like it's more difficult for
me to like read prescriptive books. It's just kind of good that we've realizing this right now as we're writing a book, because you know, it's very memoir, but there is prescriptive.
But that's why I kind of feel.
Like it needs to keep that component alive and well, because people like to read stories.
It's like reading Netflix.
I mean that's the reason why I because when I was younger, I did enjoy reading. I mean I read like you know, teenage Soup to the what is it, teenage Chicken Soups to the teenage Soul, and like I was really into Like I was even in like during school and we'd had to read certain books, like I enjoyed it.
I wasn't fucking avid like Coldest Bungeterever true to the game Milk in my Coffee waiting to Exhale. I read a lot of black ghetto books about like the life, even some books about like the down Low. I did what it's a book called, It's like a famous book not that not there. There's a famous black book about a down low man in DC.
There were football players. I was really into that book.
Huh makes sense. Makes sense to my bisexual porn categories. In my adult life, I've read a lot.
Of books that have like then become film adaptations. So yeah, I like the storyline element as well. I've read there's like some like people you have to read this stelf help book, and I'm like, I read it.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm highlighting, but it feels like school, feels very schoolish.
But I will even highlight. There's been books where I've read that are I guess fiction or even nonfiction that I've like, I'll highlight stuff too. I'm like, I need to know this quote for life, Like I need to be able.
To say this out loud at some point, but I like to I like to be a lesson within the storyline. I don't need to like read a whole prescriptive book to get that, you know, So you know I agree. Damn, I haven't read as many books I've read in high school on a long motherfucking time.
I need to do another book club.
We do we do?
Really, I really want to do women that run with wool, but it's it's not there's stories, but they're like like like fables that they like compare to recent things, so it's kind of difficult to read.
They're not easy stories. Does someone need.
To ReadWrite women who write with the wolves and like the Black Urban Route could be me?
Could that be me?
But yeah, I just it's so hard to find the time to sit and get lost in a book like you did in high school.
Damn.
Well, now that's why they have Audible. But I don't.
I don't. I can't read.
Someone gave me a free year of Audible. I don't never fucking download. It's the books I want, and I don't feel the same like I'm receiving the message. I'm so fucking add I will think about something the whole time you're talking to me.
I don't know. I feel like I could do it in my car because I don't like sometimes I don't want. I mean sometimes I listen to podcasts. Mostly I'm always listening to music, but I feel like I could listen to a book in audible form. I need to made my dad actually put out a book. I need to listen to his book in audible.
Is he is he he's narrating.
He's narrating it, and apparently he talks about me, of course, and I'm interested to know what he said.
Oh wow, that's interesting. I can't wait to do our book on audible.
I know, and our parents to listen to our book on audible.
Hopefully, hopefully they'll just put like let us sign in, like put it in their house. I wasn't thinking they're going to read it. We're gonna have time and them not to read it. Now because they're going to read it, we got to just give it.
To them, Okay, so we have to. I don't know what else do anything happening with you?
Niw new things?
You know recently, not so recently.
A couple of months ago, I had a really really really this is totally good.
We don't really have a route anyway.
So I had a really scary experience with my brother and he got really really sick and I want to go see him, and I was like, WHOA, I was really scared and I haven't been like like, I guess face was something that was completely out of my hands in a really long time. I mean, everything's out of my hands, but I was just kind of grounded very quickly about like time management.
And care for people that I love.
And it's when over there, I looked at him. He looks so sick. I've never seen him look like this before. And you know, I haven't been spending as much time with him as I feel like I should, because like we're always in this fucking rat race of just like working and like you know, hitting goals, achieving our goals because you know, of course we love what we do,
but just like we have the balance our motherhood. I'm like, damn, I have the balance being a big sister, being a daughter, being a friend.
And I was so scared.
And the first person I called was my friend, my wife, and I was like, I'm so scared.
I'm so scared, Like I don't know what to do.
I'm and she was just like, it's okay, do you want me to do you want me to get out of therapy to come over here.
I was like, I think I'm gonna just come over there.
And bring him over there, and like she immediately like dropped everything and like supported me and supported my brother, and like it was very scariest, the scariest thing that I've dealt with in a really long time, and I just want to say I appreciate you and I thank you. Of course I love you, and I was scared. I was scared too, because I know how you can be like it's cool and you were like, something's wrong. And so when you tell me something's wrong, I know something
it's a fuck wrong. And I was like, what do we have to do?
You know? Yeah, and I'm just so glad that Mazie's better and then you know he's on the mend, and yeah, I mean sometimes we need those wake up calls everyone, you know, Like that was a wake up call to me too. I was like, oh my god, like I needed to have I checked in, you know.
With people right, like you have no idea what's going on in other people's worlds or you know, it would just be get so stuck in our lanes as adults. And my brother has down syndrome, so he's not verbal really, so it just dawned on me like how much and he's also a cancer, and how much he's probably holding in not communicating and not not you know, just not being interacting with people because he's used to just being
in the house. And my mom's working and I'm working and everybody's just moving around quickly and he's just you know, doing his thing.
But is he and how much?
I just felt like maybe him not being nonverbal is what's making him sick, because if you're not being able to release your feelings or you're talking, like, imagine how much energy gets stored inside? How much pain and like I know, I already know. I used to live in that house, you know, with my parents and shit, and
I fucking ran. So I just was super triggered and super like sat the fuck down because I was like, oh my god, if something happened to my brother, like I wouldn't never forgive myself for just being not present enough. And it's just yeah, I'm just like thankful I have a friend like you that I was like, oh my god.
I called my retreat sister and I was like in the backyard moaning, no for real.
I just he needed that, he needs more of that.
And I was like.
I started to breathe with him and just release sound because that's the tools that I have. And something told me man intuition was like he needs to release and he's like I feel better.
But I was just like.
We're just doing some retreat shit in the backyard, like literally like yelling and screaming together all three of us. Brian shout out to Brian the landlord who was there, But his wife's a witch, so I'm sure.
He gets it. Yeah, but.
Yeah, I just.
We give so much to our business and and to our community that I just don't want to forget to like serve the people closest to us with like the tools that we've discovered in this journey. And I'm just like thankful that I can like reach out to you on real levels on everyday life and just.
Be like.
I didn't think I was gonna cry like the home pain.
You know, like have a sister friend that for real like has my back and you know, as my support system on all different levels, because I really was scared and I was like texting all the people like no, we're not coming. But yeah, that was just something that happened to me recently that I think I'm still processing
and still just trying to be better all around. And it's just making me realize, like we can work so hard on all of these things, but if we're not working on ourselves and like being better all you know people all around then does it even really matter?
No, it doesn't. And that's like it doesn't matter, It really doesn't. None of this should actually matters. It's just it's just like the add ons and pluses of life. What really matters is, yeah, our family, our tribe and those things. And I think I'm just grateful that I could be there for you, you know, and that and that we have honed these these specific tools to kind of like help and it did help, you know, obviously Mazi has you know, he had other stuff that he had
to handle. But I think that when it comes to what matters, it's just overall that everyone's happy and taken care of and that we're checking in with the people and that we're trying to balance because life can get crazy and it can take us away and almost forget some of the most important people. We get like trapped in this bubble and it's just like our life is the most import and thing happening. Everything that's right in front of you is like what's happening. And also it's
kind of easier to do that. It's kind of easier to be like a I don't feel like it right now, I don't feel like it. I'll get to it. I'll get to it. We'll get to it. I'll get to it until you can't get to it anymore, you know, And I don't. I don't want to ever feel that way.
I know that life is inevitable, but if you can help it, and you know, like it, and even just setting boundaries, like if I can help, if I if I can help you set boundaries like today you said you need to leave at this time, Like, Okay, that's what's going to happen. We need to do that, like because I know that you'll be like okay, it's okay, Like we can be flexible. No, let's not be flexible.
Let's not be flexible. Let's like really set the boundary that this is what needs to happen, because honestly, that's the only way it will happen. True, you know, and like and I know, and I hope that like I know, and I hope that you'll always hold those boundaries for me because I want to do that for you to make sure because I know that we get focused on the goal and I know that we have like things that we're trying to do and that we love what
we do. You know, but yeah, it's like having the boundaries that we have for this also having those boundaries for everything and everyone else that we love.
Too, I know, And there's like this like for me, I feel like, oh, I'm gonna when I reach this goal, then I'm gonna have time to do this and this and that. When I have when I reach this, School'm gonna have money to do this and this and that, and then you can come do this and I can pay for this, and then everything's going to be like this happy, like fucking fairy tale. But like you know, we're always trying to get to a goal, and we're always trying to have more money, and we're always trying
to have more things. And like in the meantime though, in the process, what are you doing, you know, for the people that you love and that are important to you.
And yeah, that was like seriously shifting for me. And yeah, I don't want to get lost in that all over again, just because like he's better and things are fine, you know what I mean, But just not being so self absorbed that I'm not just paying attention, you know, even to Luna, even to my mom, even to and some things I can't deal with you know, but some things I can be more patient. I can I can slow down, I can put my phone away to spend.
Time with the people like this. We only get one life.
We only get one motherfucking life, you know, And the truth is we never know when the end of that is. And life is beautiful and it should be. It's to be lived, but it's also to be spent and live with people that matter, you know. I think we spend a lot of time just like pleasing people that don't fucking matter. You don't know that, you won't know for a long time. Niggas that you met, niggas that you think are cute, but when you look at them deeper, they're not cute at all.
You know.
There's just so.
Much noise essentially, and it's I think the older I've gotten, the more clear it is that some relationships, most of them, are just noise and don't need to be.
Delved in very deeply. You know.
I'm just like essentially learning boundaries, and I think it's difficult.
I'm a people person. I respond to all my dms.
Honestly, this is not an invitation, guys, No, I signed up like I'll answer all the jail calls, you know, like friends, I'm don for fucking fifteen years. I'm like, well, you know, I gotta write the letter, to send the pictures,
like just all these things. But it's like this expectation that I don't even know where I've gotten this from, like the people pleasing or what, but just no, you know, and that and not feeling guilty about it, because that's another thing that I'll feel bad, and it's just like
bad about what, you know. It's just like really being intentional with my time because I'm realizing because we're getting so busy that we don't have a lot of time, like the things I want to plan, I'm like, my god, I'm not gonna be able to do that till November. Erica asked me that, like the other day, when are we gonna be able to take a break, and I told her a strong twenty twenty four, it's looking more like early twenty twenty five.
Don't say that, no, I'm just kidding.
Twenty twenty four.
Yeah, it's twenty twenty four. My psychic said that thirty five, I'll by thirty six, I'll be making things for fun.
Okay, that means I'll be thirty five, which means one year.
So it's we're closer than we think.
Literally, when Erica has a reading, I'm like, oh, even need to get one?
What'd she say?
This specific psychic will not email me back. I have been I missed one appointment and she's done with me.
I don't know that's the same one. Yes, Oh, give me your nab. I'm gonna try.
Okay, I think I did give her in. I'll give it to you again. Yeah, you know, be forgetting, but yes, it is. It's yeah, it's like but even with knowing that, like, I feel like we have to remove the anxiety from that because there's so much greatness in that time and there's so many lessons in that time, and the biggest one is balance and how do we actually do it so that by the time twenty twenty twenty four twenty
twenty four hits we don't hate what we do. Like, I want to always love what I do and if it feels stressful, which it does all the time, but I still do it because I love it. Like, at what point does that stress become resentment towards what I want? What I'm doing? You know? I want to keep the joy in what I do at all times. And so I think balance, boundaries, work, boundaries, motherhood, boundaries, love life, like all those things, and like they have to exist
and it doesn't. And boundaries sometimes can sound like a negative, like you're like really structured, which I know, like you don't thrive and structure, and really neither do I Like, there's elements of structure that I need, but I don't really like to be married to time because I'm late everywhere, but which I'm also trying to work on too, because that's a source of I think my anxiousness is me always being late places. I'm like, oh my god, people are waiting on me. Oh my god, I'm rude, Oh
my god. Like you know, but these are all things that we can control, and the boundaries we set are all things that are possible, you know. So it's just a matter of like shifting the mindset and knowing that like by twenty twenty four, mark our words, it's gonna be explosion's gonna be so crazy.
Gonna be balanced, bitches.
By then, balanced, we're gonna be fucking levitating off the ground.
Okay, we're gonna be just doing the podcast.
Like literally're gonna walk into rooms. We're gonna be not if our toes don't even touch the floor.
Hello, let's ask.
We've come with a great balance and mastership fullness.
Twenty twenty four.
I told you bitches, I'd to be gliding on you host.
Be gliding and swiping in on your hose.
Twenty twenty four. We're gonna read.
But also your host can come.
I can see you how to levitate too. Just come to Costamika. You even need a flight home, Just levitate home, unlock the magic.
Oh my god, we need to smoke.
Okay, I have something rolled.
Wait what is that?
Oh girl, this is my blunt. I recently started smoking Backwoods.
Yeah.
I got the honey flavor and I kind of love it.
You know what. My old nigga used to smoke honey and he used to love that shit.
I love it, and you know, out here and try it.
Hmmm. Right.
I add a little lavender for a little extra relaxation.
Oh I taste that lavender.
Honey and the lavender and my wonderful weed. It really is my it's a game changer. It's my new favorite go to for blunts.
Oh my god, this is actually like surprisingly smooth.
Right, you're welcome.
Oh my god, but it's true.
I was listening to.
I was listening to our first mom Tilla episode, and it was about us like manifesting like little shit like Natalie from Fashion Mamas on the show, Like we really wanted to meet Natalie, and she like just popped up and appeared and like all these little things and we kind of just started to realize.
Like, oh my god, like, huh, I think we could do whatever we want.
And I'm like it was so silly things like manifesting listening to Florence in the Machine that the Fashion Mama's fucking poll party and it's be sitting there and the fucking Florence and the machine comes on. But as I was listening to that from some fucking two years ago, three years ago, I was like, Wow, we've really mastered this motherfucking magic. And we've gotten a book deal, we've gotten a retreat with an s We've gotten you know, like all the things that we've gotten. You know, we've
found our people. But that's just like from intentionally speaking it and that's why I've really started to try to apply the same manifestation to like my relationships. You know, please give me more time, give me my I'm gonna have more time to spend with my mom and be more patient with my mom. I'm gonna work better on our relationship. We're gonna be closer. Same with my brother. Now, I'm like, let me, let me. I'm gonna have time.
We're gonna have a lot of moments together. I'm gonna be really present because just like you can manifest financial and busin and this success and all those other things that are the first things on our list to ask for, you can also manifest protection and clarity and being present and time and the opposite of anxiousness, which I don't even know what the word is.
Peace, peace, fucking peace.
You know. Also because I you know, I think that we believe, like there were things that we just believed innately with each other that maybe individually we might have not believed on our own. And I think that it's a matter too like when you're putting those manifestations, because I think a lot of times people they're like, I've been manifesting and nothing's happening for me, Like why is it happening? And it's because you have to put intention
behind it. You actually have to like do the thing Also, it doesn't just show up, Like boundaries aren't just going to show up. You actually have to put them in practice. You have to you have to know that you're going to feel bad, and you have to just keep say no, feel bad and still say no, you know what I mean, Like you have to like I have to say, Okay, I'm going to spend every Sunday, I'm turning my computer off not working, and I'm going to pay attention like
undivided attention with Iri. That's it. Like if I say that I want more time and more peace with Iri, like what are the things that I'm putting behind that to actually make that happen? Or that it just feels like flow because I think manifesting is things you already have, Like it's just kind of like building upon me things
you already have, the ideas you already have. Like so I just I feel like sometimes people like there's people that have said to me, like I don't know, like that manifesting shit doesn't work, Like I've done it and it shit, I don't know, it's not working. And I'm like, well, are you just landing candles on the full moon or like or like are you actually believing it with someone. Are you speaking it to somebody, are you telling your
friends that this is what's going to happen. Because even the other day, we rented this house and it was beautiful. We rented it with our friend, and I was so grateful that we were able to do that with her, because this is our like rich friend who like always is like taking care of shit for us. And I was like, no, no, we got we got it too, girl, like hold on, I let me put some money on this house for you, real quick, bitch. And it felt
good to do that. And when I was in that house, my lover called me and he was like, oh, you're not home. I said, no, I'm home and he was like, no, you're not at your house. I was like, no, I'm at my house.
No, I'm here, and.
He's like you know what I mean. I was like, no, I don't. I was like, this is my house. I was like, this is the way I live. This is the way I want to live with anyone who's in my space. This is it. Like there's no like bar below this and we only go up and he's like, okay, I got it, and I was like yeah, yeah.
No, for sure. For sure.
When we made that agreement, we were like, oh, yeah, this is our house.
I believe that.
I'm like, oh, this is like not far out of reach, and it is not. This is like God aligning. We're aligning with this, like the systems that we already know are going to happen by renting the house.
We refuse to get out of the house.
Literally, they like had to kick us out the house with my big ass combat stripper boots. They're cleaning, people were coming in the kids with the king, like what happened here?
But for the belief believing it for sure, for sure, even like the things that are ours that are happening that you know, sometimes you have business deals in the works and you don't speak on them too soon.
I'm like, oh no, this is what I have.
So I people do miss out on the manifestation because they don't really believe it and also visualizing it. And I feel like being in the house, living in the house for the weekend is the visualizing it.
And that's in too, like I get it, like some people are like the rebuttal to that is like I can't visualize it because look where I'm at right now, And it's like well, that's why you have to put all these things in practice all the time, the speaking it out loud, the visualizing it until you do believe it, Like you have to keep trying until you do believe it,
Like it doesn't just happen. Been like when I there were things with me and Mila where I'm like, I can't imagine, like there was not I don't want to say I can't because I can't. Actually is something that never really has come up here. I don't know why, which is weird. No, but there were moments where I was like will it like how when you know, like damn, like look at them like they they've already they got what.
I want, like right, like how the fuck?
You know? And just having to kind of talk yourself off of those ledges, and also kind of like that victimhood of like why not me? Why me? Why is all this happening to me? And not to diminish anyone's experience, because yeah, it should be happening, but like, okay, so now what.
Though I know I was looking at my you know, my favorite couple from the internet, the witch the Witchy couple.
They recently they moved somewhere. Yeah, you saw I saw, Yeah, I saw something happening where they go.
They got a farm where it's still in Louisiana.
Why do I know their life?
It's four hours from New Orleans and they finally got their farm and they manifested it together and it's so fucking cute and they have chickens, and I was like, oh my god, do I need a farm. I didn't manifest a farm with chickens. I'm like with my fucking warrior man fucking carrying the furniture inside.
I was on their stories last night, but uh fuck were we talking about.
Believing it? Oh?
Oh believing it? Oh oh?
So for the like not for the first time, but I was like when I saw it, I was like, damn, I'm like kind of jealous, but also oh I could have this too. Oh they manifest this, manifested this, and I can have that too. And now my thought is you need to manifest to really. I was thinking of this, like, you need to manifest really specifically, because do you want the farm or do you want the fucking four million house?
Both both?
And that's what I was thinking, like, I want both, you know what?
It? Also, I think I battle this all the time. I think, especially as we go to Costa Rica more and more like the the polarity were, like, I guess like not the polarity is what I'm the lifestyles in which I feel like I have to choose, like you know and like and a lot of that is it's all in my head, like of like, oh, I can't. I couldn't leave all this behind and then give up my life and go raise a farm, go go like live a simple life with my man on the farm.
No I could. I could. It's just like either I don't want to right now or I'm just not quite there. But I do battle between like feeling like I want to escape it all. And I've talked about this a lot on the show. Is like wanting to escape it all, but then also like wanting to like maximize my potential.
Also, I think, I think the beautiful thing about us designing our life is that we know that we can have both, and we know we probably need both because we're like some hippie las bitches. You know, I need a little luxury. I need to go to the luxury in the jungle all luxury though, or the farm.
But I do.
I think it's I think It's just really beautiful and cool to be in this place where I really understand that I can design my life and I literally can have this and that and I will, you know, and I can spend a year there and six months there and I'll have the space and time to do so. And the choice, the choice, which is so beautiful because she was like, she was like as she was talking to me, the new house is four hours from the city, And I was like, God, can I live four hours
from a city? And I was like, yes, you could, you sure could, you know, And like just the piece that she's probably feeling with her little family, she's a new baby.
While you would think this bitch is my best friend, it's less.
It comes from a place of less like jealousy, like you know how you get on social like fuck them, and like, huh, I can have that, and that's beautiful for them.
It's that, but it's also like, Wow, you've already reached that part of your like you've released that part of this like desire to have things and that she doesn't have things, because I'm sure she has plenty things and she's she's probably got she'd be killing on Patreon. I'm sure over there with all her witchy spells and her fine man doing weird things on the internet so fun. I might need to subscribe.
Can we please subscribe?
I think I need to too, but that she's kind of like said fuck it, but like not really though, because shes still tapped in. Yeah, you know, and it's really it is like a mind shift and a mindset shifts of like what it is that is important, what you desire. Also, I think, you know, even like what your partner desires, and like how you I'm sure they've influenced each other,
you know. And I often think like could I go live on a farm by myself with my daughter or do I need to have a man like kind of want to do it with me?
I would like a man to come with me. I need.
I like partnership and doing things. I welcome a man that is healthy and wants to lay eggs honestly pick up the chickens like the candles, you know, like I do. I like the I like the partnership aspect. And also if I don't, if like that doesn't manifest that way.
I'll still do it.
Yeah, I'm still I'm here.
Now I'll just hire some farmers to like learn how to plow myself or maybe not.
Yeah, well, the moral of the story is do whatever you want, manifest what you want, design your life, design your life, remember the people. Don't forget the people you love. Check in with the people that you love. If there's someone that you haven't talked to in a while that's been on your mind, call them.
Or just like if you don't know where they're at, just telepathically call them by thinking about them and they will come to you.
Mm hmmm. Speaking of telepathics and energies, is it tarot tyme?
I think it is.
I think it's terror, good terrort time terror.
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And today's taro. I pulled a.
Page of cups, which is creative opportunities, intuitive messages, curiosity and possibility. The page of cups upright soges a new idea or opportunity has come to you out of the blue. Creative energy is flowing, and now the question is how will you express it. Will you snap up to this new idea and turn it into something, or you'll let someone else bring it to fruition?
Is it up to you?
Spend time exploring the idea to see if you want to move forward. The page of cups invites you to have an open and curious mind. Be open to anything, including a fish popping its head out of a cup a. It is with a curious mind that you will discover new aspects of life and yourself. Open your mind to all possibilities, especially those of creative intuitive nature. You will be pleasantly surprised, be ready to dream the impossible dream and explore the magic of your fullest potential, even if
it seems out of reach. The page of cup is asking you to embrace the inner child and believe that anything is possible. Did I not just fucking say that I could have everything?
You have?
Both?
You did?
The page of the Each page asked you to explore a new facet of yourself. The page of cups is asking you to explore your creative, emotional self. You may start a new art class, read books about how to express your feelings, or learn more about developing your psychic abilities. We need to get the Patreon dreamy aspirations race through your mind, and you may find yourself moved by simple things. Don't be afraid to let your feelings show and wear your heart on your sleeve.
You may be moved by simple things. We're just saying, just how like the simplicities of life are often like the most appealing? Yeah yeah, And that you want to read more books? I do.
I'm going to.
Um.
And then Erica pulled the Queen of pentacles. Pentacles are usually finances. She's looking luxury and lavish, so I'm betting on the riches the Queen of Pentacles is the nurturing mother of the material world. At home, she shows her love for others by cooking nutritious meals, maintaining a clean and inviting home, and giving warm cuddles to those who needed most. She is also able to work a full time job and make a financial contribution to the household,
often as the primary breadwinner. She is masterful at taking care of the practical needs of work, home, and family, while also giving her love and support to those she cares about. Sounds balanced When the Queen of Pentacles appears in a tarot reading, you are embodying the ultimate working parent archetype. You care for your family and domestic responsibilities while also making a living for yourself and creating financial abundance.
You can maintain a healthy balance between home and work by in creating the two and finding your place of flow in alignment. You strive to create a warm and secure environment for your family and loved ones while giving your love and support freely.
Hmmm, I love that.
I love that for you.
Thanks.
Okay, y'all, you have affirmation? Do I have an affirmation?
I am easily accessible to those who prioritize my joy and their joy.
I am easily accessible to those who prioritize my joy and their joy.
Amen.
Amen, Thank you guys so much for joining us today on another episode of Good Mom's Bad Choices. Please please make sure you rate and review this episode. Make sure you follow us on Patreon. More exclusive content at patreon dot com, backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices.
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Bye.
M h
M hmm