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percent off over any purchases over thirty dollars. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this episode. Ella La, let's say, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Mila and I'm Ediquita.
Okay, can we do a whole episode in Spanish? Condo moy despasio, your competende mass impressive.
You don't know I know Spanish? I know, I know, I know my Spanish. On the other hand, actually it's not bad. It's Justish is good, I know, but it could be better. I get nervous when I speak, start speaking around people that actually know how to speak, knows how to speak. She doesn't correct me though, why I'll be telling for like port for Luna espio. Wow.
I feel like if you live in l A, you should know some Spanish.
Yeah, but that's not true.
Also, I'm recruiting, and then I had big plans that me and literally Spanish together, because that's been like my dream for a long time to be fluent.
Clearly, I don't think I'm like a linguistics person. Someone's will wait, I's mom's friend's mom friends you, or I IRI's friend's mom told me about an app not dual Lingo, but a different one like Impressivo some.
One that's really really to ask her, that's an ad bitch. We just gave impressive Evo impressed in calling all Latin men and women and women. I think I'm really back on my lesbianism.
Are you always? Is that your door? And they were there texting and ship all own and ship No.
But I have text my one of my ex a couple times. But I just feel like maybe I was more lesbian than I want to believe.
You only had girlfriends? What do you mean you I did? I thought you were like a bona fide lesbo I was.
I was lesbian, and I like buried it in the back of my mind because it was so much drama. But when I saw my ex lesbian girlfriend, I was like, I saw two lesbian girlfriends actually, and I was.
Like, Okay.
First of all, one loved me more than anyone who's ever loved me in my life, would do anything for me, buy me anything, make sure I'm straight. The other one she like, I was like laying there like my eyes closed, and she came and kissed me. Essentially, I was like, oh, okay, you love me too.
And then I didn't.
Say this last episode, but our friend's friend, Carlton's friend, and I saw her at the after hours. First of all, Atlanta's the devil because you can find something to do in all hours. I literally was out. I looked at the clock. It was like five point fifty seven at pals. I was like, when does this shit close?
And no close at six am. I think yeah. I was like, it has to be close. I don't know how. I don't know how. He does me crazy.
And as she was there with her husband or her boyfriend, but as I was leaving, same thing kind of with your lipstick situation, I was wearing like a black lipstick and as I was like, I'm like I'm leaving girl, and girl, huh, she made out with me deep and essentially and felt me up in five point fifty five am in the club and it was crowded still, which is crazy, and we had a very deep makeout and I was like, I think you have black stuff all over your face. I have black lipstick on and then
she was like I don't care. M He's like okay, and her husband was like sitting right there like trying to get a little I was like, calm.
Down, but it was good.
And I was like, maybe something about the Atlanta water just make me lesbian.
Mm. But I didn't spend enough time there, you did. I want to go back though. Somebody asked me how to did Erica like it?
So she doesn't know for forty eight hours literally, and we panicked to forty seven of those hours.
Seriously. Well, I just wanted to start off this episode with some sage because I feel like we need some saging. Today was a day as usual, but I'm grateful that we are now two weeks out of a show and I feel like I'm finally really decompressed. My birthday is in two days. Happy birthday, Thank you. And I'm turning thirty two, which I don't know feels good. I'm like chilling in thirties, like I'm good, Like I'm not stressed. Maybe ask me when I'm like turning thirty six to
thirty seven. I've had different feelings about it. Just come down. Someone told me today, wow, you look really good for thirty two. I hate that shit. I feel I say that, I feel like that's some la shit. Don't say no to anyone under thirty listening. If don't tell a thirty person a person over thirty they look good for being in the thirties. Guess what when you turn thirty and you look exactly the same as you did when you were twenty five, I'd be like, what the fuck are
you talking about? Like it's really not that deep. So many young bitches have told me that. I'm like, oh my god, I know you were in your thirties. Looks so good. He looks so young. I'm like, duh, I'm young. Look better than you, bitch. I actually do look better. I was looking at my face today and I was like, still snatched period. I was like, nope, no wrinkles, look a little more tired, got the dark circles maybe, but you know what gives me character? You know what? That's
what conceler and beauty blenders are for. Period bomb bam, pick up your local pick up your beauty blender at your local Sephora yep, yeah, or at beauty blender dot com. Yeah. So I I don't know. I love at Scorpio season, which you know as Scorpios another thing. Check out our patreon to see what that looks like. If you want to watch this episode, you want to check out Patreon.
But yeh, Scorpio season is in full effect. Today's the first day of Scorpio season, and I will say, uh, Scorpios, we go hard for our birthdays, like it's an all month thing. Like we might not say it, but we're thinking it. Mkay. Birthdays are very important to us, even though we act like they're not. Like once the the day starts approaching, like it's gets to like day, like two days before the birthday, and there's no plans made. We're mad at everyone, but no one planned our shit,
and then we take control. Okay, is that well you've been taking control of the situation. Well, I plan the ship like me so I'm going on a trip. I'm actually going to Tuloom tomorrow, which I've never been there. Uh, and I'm going with like three other birth scorpios. So it's my birthday, it's Ashley's birthday, It's NAS's birthday. It's I think that's it. Actually May maybe there's one more person's birthday. As you can tell, we take our birthdays
very seriously. We like all plan a trip together about it. But actually this this trip. Normally when I go on these type of trips, I like have a schedule of like the things I want to hit. I have no idea what I want to do, and I'm kind of like, okay, maybe this is thirty two. Maybe I'm like chilling out a little more. When it comes to the B day festivities. I really just want to lay on a beach and float. That's really all real. Limb is very chill.
There's the Aztec Ruins, which is close by Mayan ruins.
Oh yeah, Mayan ruins all the same pyramids, Indigenous ruins. Yeah. No, I definitely want to try and go see them. Go maybe go to Chichinitza, which it's a city which is like I think it's about like an hour and a half to two hours outside of Tuloom, and then there's this and not this, which are like the caves. But right now it's raining a lot, so I'm hoping I mean, that it calms the fuck down so you can go.
But yeah, I was just like reflecting on thirty one, and it's been like such a beer of intense uncomfortability, like really but uncomfortability, but also like feeling more secure in who I am, like more than ever, like not feeling I feel like just knowing, like what my purpose is more, what are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? I'm trying to see sleep. I think she is, Oh cute school. I know. I was like, oh my god, it's a school done. Yeah, which we mean to talk
about that too much. And it has been a month of wod you say? Uncomfortable uncomfortability like I think also just having this like us coming together weekly and talking really like forces us to like face things and check in, which is like something before this I didn't do, you know, like maybe I would, maybe I'd try to do it alone in my head, but actually vocalizing things and talking things through is just it's just different. So I think
I just feel more confident than ever. I feel like this next thirty two for me is really just trusting my instincts. I feel like thirty one there was a lot of that, like me going against it and then like time and time again, the universe saying no, you were right. Follow that go with that, and also that like don't underestimate yourself, which I think like we have done a lot, and even in our podcast thinking that
like well we can't, We're not. No one's gonna come, no one's gonna show up, no one's gonna buy a ticket, no one wants to pay to come like hang out and like see hear us, like talk our shit it. No one's gonna buy gift bags, no one's gonna like who's gonna follow us? You know why? Who's gonna show up at the meet up? Are we? Who the fuck are we? You know what we're talking about? What are we doing? Like even today, like what are we talking about?
Like overthinking things and just like instead of just like Okay, we got this, I think thirty two it's gonna be more of that for me, like just like no, I got this right. I think even like when I when we started this, I felt really insecure about how much I could share and like what I was going to share and what I was going to talk about. And now I feel, more more than ever, like share whatever the fuck I want. It's too late, well that it's too late, but also like it's too late, but it's
too late, but also like I've seen the results. I've seen the like what happens when you when people relate and you're honest, you can.
Never go wrong when you're telling the truth. Like, what is something I gonna tell you you're wrong? No, Well that's what happens.
Well, I think I've lived in a place of like fear of like disappointing family, disappointing people that are important to me, wanting to feeling like I had to like be a certain way to a appease them. And I'm I'm doing what I want to do and they're fine, They're okay, they're surviving. Whether or not I'm talking about dicks or mental health, it doesn't matter. I still, well, that's I say, No one's gonna no one's gonna disown you. Erica's I know. But it's like, but I think I
just I've always I've always had I think disappointing. Disappointment is like something that I've that has like paralyzed me
so much in my life. And I think this like the past year and a half two years, it's a culmination of things, not just this, but like you know, becoming a like just becoming a mother and like try like that journey of becoming a mother and feeling more confident, becoming more confident, just being a single person, like I've always been attached to someone, I've always been in a relationship, like figuring out who I am outside of that. Like all those things have kind of like made me kind
of not give a fuck anymore. And I still I'm still unlearning things. There's still times where I like feel like, ooh should I can I H I don't know, but I just feel like thirty two is going to be a really pivotabal, pivotal, pivotal, pivotal year for me. And the pattern says so too, So it must be trip pattern knows everything. So it is true.
It's funny because I don't think so much my issue is disappoining family as as it is so much that I think I get into my head about like how I come off with people that don't know me.
I don't know why care about the people close to me. You're gonna disown me.
I didn't think so, but even like saying I've come the same way like.
Certain things.
So I just realized a lot this year that like being comfortable in my skin and who I am as a person is.
Like people are gonna like it or not like it. People are gonna always have some shit to say.
But at the end of the day, when I know like this is who I am and this is like my journey and my purpose, I care less slowly about people what people say, and just by talking to people, like I told you, I was talking to one of our friends and she was just like, you know, it's so crazy, like I'm constantly thinking about what other people are thinking. She's like, I'll probably leave here right now and be like does she like me? And I'm like, oh my god, I'm so happy you said that, because
sometimes I feel the same way. I'm like, so in my head, hmmm, that was stupid. When I say that, then I'm like, bitch, nobody's even thinking about you but you. But her even saying that aloud to me was so such a big deal for me. I'm like, oh, I'm not crazy, Like, oh, this is what this is like the unlearning where the unlearning begins.
And even with people who are close to me, that it bothers me when they.
Don't agree or when they're like, you know, telling me something about myself that like, I feel like we don't have to discuss. I've realized that everybody's grown up differently and had different experiences and they're not going to understand yours and they're not supposed to, you know what I'm saying, Like.
People project, that's what humans do.
And if you're insecure and about your shit or about what other people think of you, me being overly honest about my shit is gonna make you uncomfortable.
But that's not my problem.
And usually, like my cancer will harbor some shit and I can like, sim shit will bother me and bother me and bother me and bother me, and I'll think about it and then I'm like Okay.
Finally I'm like, Okay, well let me tell you how I feel.
But it's just like I don't even I've noticed in myself, like there's a lot of things I still need to cultivate and grow because I still fuck up. But there's partying where I'm like, I see that I'm growing because there's things I'm like, I'm not taking this personally. I'm not going to I refuse to take this personally right now.
And so I think that's even when I went to Atlanta and I was in Atlanta and I.
Was like, damn, I was so stressed out while I was here, But I didn't have nothing to stress about, you know what I mean. Like I was so young, Like I was here doing what I was supposed to be doing, fucking up.
Making money, doing horseshit, fucking up. That's exactly what I was supposed to be doing in those twenties because I didn't go in college. I mean college was a floor, but I was like maybe going class I yeah, that was like ten percent. No, I get it, you know what I mean.
I'm like, So it reminds me now my early thirties, like you know, you got it under control and panic, but don't panic to the point where it like.
Well, because you'll look back on the thirties and when you're a fifties and be like, why did I waste so much time? It's like that's I feel like that's the trend in life, and that's the one I don't want. That's the one thing I hear consistently that I don't want,
you know. I like even thinking back, Like I think back too, Like I feel like when you know, when I was like young too, Like I was always so worried about like how I looked like my body, And then I look back on pictures and I'm like, what the fuck was I talking about? It was fine, it was fine, and I and but thank god, Like I've done a lot of work on myself now where like I like even now like I'm I'm in a place in my body where like I feel like I'm not
in the best shape. I notice things, but I love myself more. And that's a big deal for me because like for me, that's always been an issue. But like looking back, it's always like that looking back, like what was I worried about? Like even like I think about when I was like fourteen and thinking like, wow, thirty is really grown. I better have. I'm gonna have all my shit together, I'm gonna own a home, I'm gonna
be two. I'm like, you know, yeah, five kids. I'm like basically I'm dying you'll be dying, You'll be you'll basically almost to the great every child I was dead.
So, like, I really thought thirty was so old. I remember my aunt, my favorite aunt, turning thirty two, and I was.
Like, what, you're how old? Right?
Crazy? And now like my therapist she's I guess.
She's like forty. How's that going. I've been going stuff.
Well I've been out of town because I was duction, but I think she's forty six. She's like, you're so young. She's like, you're so young, you're so young. I'm like, okay, I'm like maybe I should believe it. Yeah, don't say I don't be offended.
So I'm twenty, right, So sometimes we can be offend. We're offended if people think we're too old, then we're offended people think we're too young. But you know what, I'm not offended because I know I'm not like not offended, but you know what I mean, like okay, like you know, yeah, yeah, like come down. Okay.
So when I was in Atlanta, went out with my ex girlfriend, who I haven't talked to in a long time because she kind of reminded me. She stocked me at the end, which was true. I think she's grown a lot, which is good. But we went out okay, we went out with two of her co workers.
No.
First night, we went out with one of her coworkers and one of my girlfriends who's also like a steadily lesbian, and they were fine.
We went to a star bar. We had a great time. We danced disco, my favorite thing. Yeah, a star bars. You mentioned that last time. It's like famous.
The second night, went to MJQ and she came with this other girl from her job, and the other girl like started a scene in the parking lot. I was like, well, what's wrassling a scene in a parla?
So what's wrong with her?
And later she's like, well, she was upset because I was flirted because we know, we were like, you know, like they might have made out a little bit in the club or whatever, and the girl was like freaking out in the parking lot.
And I was like never ever. I was like, how old is she? She's like twenty nine. I'm like that's insane.
And I was like, I've never been crazy like that. I can't like, I've never been like stupid in my twenties. I've always been a pretty mature person. I have an old soul. So sometimes like when people say like, oh, you're so young, you're so young, I'm like, Okay, calm down, because I know I've been here a lot of times before. There's certain things I just wouldn't I've don dumb shit, but there's anything that just wouldn't do, Like my ego won't allow it.
My pride.
And I see some twenties and I'm like, oh my god, you're so green, and.
You can be forty in act that way.
That's true, and that's you could be forty and act like a crazy bitch.
Don't get that age. Age is twisted. Yeah, that's true, that's true. It's just a level. Yeah. I mean, I think it's understanding self that piece. I think a lot of the reasons I don't freak out is because I really value my inner I already struggle enough to like maintain inner peace when I'm when there's nothing happening, Like I don't need to like make it worse. Right, I'm not going to see I'm not about to let you
make me crazy, you know. Like, don't get me wrong, I've I've definitely seen moments of my from like who the fuck was that like violent ass moments like not for throwing shit, crazy psycho shit. But for the most part, I can keep it together. But like sometimes you need those moments though too. Those moments are necessary. Sometimes some of those moments I have felt like the most like that was the only way to release at that time.
I needed to throw that shit. Like that's why I'm like you think like I want, like I want to go to one of those like breakrooms, because I'm telling you there's some shit in there. Meet up, there's some shit. We should get a group price for a group good mom we should no for real, because there's ship that you don't even realize you need to, like in order to release it, you need to be physical. You can't always just breathe everything out or like work out everything out,
Like yeah, it's just you have to be physical. And like Viole, there's a beauty in violence. I know that sounds creepy, but like, no, there is, but not I don't know. That's it's kind of scary. There's beauty and violence, but.
No, let's talk about that. I want to talk about polarity. I want to talk about balance. I want to talk about that, Like there's something slightly intriguing and beautiful about darkness about like I don't know, like creepy things.
What is Halloween? Yeah, it's Halloween music, Happy Halloween, Happy, happy Halloween. But people don't discuss that enough.
And I think that's where like religion irritates me, because everybody knows what's considered bad is actually to indulge in. It is actually like nourishing to the soul and feels good. And if it feels good naturally, then can it really be that bad?
Calm down?
Yeah, I'm for the sociopaths, like like you're talking about scorpio, I can get dark, Okay, I'm thinking of the darkes.
So if I voodoo, this is karma right now, what I mean? Let me calm down. No, but that's the cancer. And you're like, why did he do that? What happened to him? No, for sure, there's why it happened to him and his child. We could have caught that right here in this hugged more.
Six years old, Johnny didn't get played with in the schoolyard, and.
Only I had been there and I was his first grade teacher. I really feel that way, Eric, I know you do. That's why I know everyone from and I feel that way in ways, but then there's other ways where I'm like, no, some people are just fucked up. What I mean is like sometimes it's from the beginning.
Fun to do irresponsible things. Absolutely, sacrifice pigeons.
We all know you'd like to sacrifice pigeons. I didn't once. Calm down. If you haven't heard about the sacrifice of the pigeons, Oh my god, he does gonna come for us. They haven't yet. Check out you sacrifice to what? Oh my god, there's vegans listening. Relaxed. I'm also vegetarian. I don't condone this message. And she is not a vegetarian, and neither of my Let's be honest. Okay, let's be clear.
It was for spiritual purpose, much larger than just simple food intake.
Did you eat it? No? Like I didn't do that part. No, are you crazy? I thought maybe you has like become one with it and eat it or something.
I heard of people like licking the butt, looking the butt. Oh my god, but I haven't. But I've heard people. Okay, we're getting topic, we're not even sure of getting somewhere. Got high and then I got okay, yeah, hilarity anyway to no, no no.
I've always been intrigued by darkness, Like I think even as a child, I've always loved horror films, even like from a very very young age. I think my dad, actually, my dad is kind of the one that like, I don't know, made it okay since you told me that story, like made it oka hey, and not like why are you doing that?
Don't do that or like, which is really interesting to me because he's his family and he's pretty Christian.
Well his sister's voodoo and I say his sisters because I don't not relate it to them, not my blood or anything. I mean some people, like you said, people pass through people, and that's doesn't mean that you're related to them. What did they say? They passed through people like when you give birth to a child. Yeah, it's just because someone gave birth to them along the way. And then I also appeared at some point. That does not mean relate. I mean it's also just coming through people.
So but it's true. Yeah, but yeah, my dad kind of like was the one that, like because he likes he likes horror in that way, like it's more like silly horror films like practice he's a jokester, like he would always do like these really scary mean jokes to like me and my friends, but like low key, like we were so young, you know, but I now you're like that was kind of me. Yeah, that was me too. It's like the cemetery thing, you know, like that's kind of like traumatizing.
I know my dad would be really traumatizing things to me too, And then I can't hurry pee because I know people are gonna be like that's crazy.
He would always put like and he would put like bugs in our like beds that real budd but like really real looking ones all the time, and and like just do just come down, just scarce he'd just be bored in his house. Actually thinking about that, like as a parent now like imagining me like just like this, I'm not to go fuck with that kids, Like that's actually hilarious. He actually put a fucking mask on his head to come down. My dad would do that, but
he's done it. Just Actually I feel like our dads are like similar in ways. But yeah, I don't know. I think also I think what is darkness exactly? To like who decided that it's darkness? Because I think also there's so many you can just how if you you can even get racial with it, how even like dark darkness is scary, spooky, the scary spooky, but like we're not going to go there tonight. We're not going to go there tonight. But like I'm just saying like that,
why does darkness hold is such a negative connotation? If anything, that's where life is created.
Well, I think that's where that's where the misconception is like perpetuated.
And that's right, there's so much beauty in darkness because literally that's where it's that's conception. It's in a dark womb. It's it's not in the light, you know, and it grows in the darkness. And there's and the duality is that they're both beautiful, but for some reason one has taken person like one sterio. Like literally I could say if I was the first person to ever say rapists are white, like not white people, but like that's or like yeah, the darkness is white, white and pure.
Right, Well, if it's just overall it what it proves is that it's just a balance and one would not be without the other. And there's not a negative or positive connotation, and that negative is not even really negative because.
I don't even know why it's like because it doesn't.
But remember in math, isn't like negative plus negative egos are positive, do you remember them? And like a negative pluzz a positive equals and negative. Yeah, but something batter operation. It is a bad thing negative negative negative equals negative? Right?
How are we doing math all time? How we get I'm fit? If you do one more.
Equation here you are totally agreeing with things like mm hmm yeah negative.
My god. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know where you were going with that. The dualities, the polarity duality, it's a balance.
We need both and need to indulge in both, and need to indulge in all aspects of yourself just to be one.
I think that core. We all want embrace it in our way. Everyone celebrates Halloween sto. Halloween is literally the celebration of the dead. Dead is usually what people would come. It would put that under the umbrella of darkness, right, like you're dead, we all die. I know, but I'm just saying, for some reason, Halloween gives people permission to celebrate darkness, where every other day of the month it's
to consider this negative thing. Why don't. We we don't want to go to we don't want to know a funeral. We don't want to talk about death. We don't want to like do you know what I mean?
Yeah, speaking of that, Letta said something about my mom's mom dying. I was like, oh, she's dead, and she said you're going to die and I said, yeah, I am going to die.
She's like, no, don't say that. That's gonna get me sad. I said, it's really sad. But it's not sad because we all are going to die. Wait, hopefully there's well I mean, I said, it's okay. I said, it's actually life. It's a cycle.
And I said, I said, okay, that's that part I was and I said and I said, and I said, and we never really die.
I said, our bodies die. I was like, this is just how we are right now. I said, but then we go to the next dimension.
And I said, because our souls are forever, We're always going to be together no matter what form it takes.
You know, But that's really how I feel. I don't I'm not. I mean, I guess I'm afraid of death, but like I'm not afraid of death, but no, I thought you were just ending at we're all gonna die anyway, honey, what's for dinner? So is that too dark for my ford to be honest? Irie has said like she's never asked me if I'm gonna die, but she'd be like, like even the way she handled like my dog's death was so like, I don't think she fully understands, like I think she I don't know. I don't know, or
she internalizes it. I'm not sure. I don't. She even said like Flora's mom is dead, and I was like, at the first time I ever heard her even say the word dead, And at first it was like jarring when I heard that word come from her little mouth, I was like, dead, what, Relax, calm down, who's dead? Like it's like it's it's like, well, no, it's true.
And I didn't. Yeah, but it's just hearing them or seeing her reaction to it and her experience to it is interesting and I don't want to have a part in shaping it, you know, but I also like want to guide her, you know, not have her fear like it's a transition.
Really it's a transition, and no one's really sure what's on the other side.
But we're sure that it keeps going. That's true, you know, because if you like, I don't know, But when it's close, it's so much different. As I was saying it, I was like, you should calm down. When it's closed, it's so much more painful, and it's harder to even wrap your head around even understanding that, even if you understand that, right, right, even Yeah, for sure, for.
Sure, I've had like a bottle of one.
I have been starving myself for three juice cleanse. No, I'm not starving myself, guys. After I talked about my body issues, like and I've been starving. I'm going to Mexico to masks.
I've only had fourteen juices since Sunday, which is true.
I've also eaten vegetables yam. But I just felt like I needed to detox before my birthday. Bro. I've been like just drinking and eating and stressing, and I just felt heavy, like not even like like just bloated. My insides were aching, that's what happens. They were they were like my inside start like feeling like inflamed. Does that ever happen? Like your stomach just feels I just know what my body is like, Okay, it's not like a
stomach ache. It literally feels like burning. I don't know that's the sound to me finishing the bottle of wine. You sure did finish that bottle wine. Definitely had a glass and two glasses. Okay, let's be clear. What are you gonna be for Halloween? More? Titia? All right? Are we both being more? Did you give it? Did you give me that idea?
Or did we just like has been wanting to be Wednesday because she's no, but like I did it for.
Work too, and I told you I was I need to watch this, but then I didn't. But then I was like, I gave this idea. Okay, maybe we're all going to be You're gonna be. Yeah, well Ione wants to be this wonder woman, so I could be wonder woman with her.
I mean, it doesn't really matter. I don't really care how many mortities there are trick or treating? Are we gonna go to that popin block again? Because I need a uber?
Yeah, we need to figure that out. It's a pop and block, the pop and Halloween block? Are we going to uber? What it was? So? Actually I know where we could part. Actually, if you're just tuning in. You should know me and Jamila, our Valley girls. We are straight from the eight one eight. Don't hate. This is how we talk.
We've gotten a lot of what do they call us, something fry, white black girl, black girl, fry, black girl voice fry or something. I don't know what the fuck that means. I still don't really get it. But this is just how we talk. It's our dialect, my accent, it's my accent.
Do you have your Ma tistera dress already? I have a dress. How many movies do you have? Do you have another black? I only have one. I actually have one. No, it's not dark enough. I need to get black. But Amazon, it's like ten dollars. This is not an ad. I don't even know if I don't think we support Amazon, but clearly we do. Oh Luna started school today. Oh oh she was awake. I know. Oh my god, that video you posted, I literally was like crying. I saw.
I was crying for you because I know that feeling. And then it's just like overwhelming. And also it took so long and much to get there. I know. It was like finally, it's like a relief.
So yeah, so I took a really long time putting Luna in school, partially because I procrastinate, but because I didn't want to get her vaccinated, and they just passed along in LA where it's required like you can't be medically exempt, and then what I wanted to go to
medically exempt. First there was like only a doctor in San Francisco, and then there was one here, but he was like X amount of dollars, and then the black midwife showed up to the Black midwife referred me to a doctor in OHI, and you know he is like an MD but also an urbalist and so you know we're gonna do it through him. But he was able to give me a medical exemption until the apployment next
year because he's obviously booked. And then so I got her in school, she get blood work, should go the fucking dentist, she'd get all this shit, and finally it happened and it's it's literally basically November, so she's miss a shit tone.
We need to post the video on you need did Everyone needs to watch this video. It's so sweet of her in school and then Jamila crying because you're gonna cry, Well, she's going to the school that I went to. She has the same teacher that I had in kindergarten. Shut up, she's still there. No, she does not have the same teacher. She has my same teacher. What the that's why you were crying? Wait too, fad, she was so much too. She has the same fucking what's her name? Miss Specter?
The fuck? Miss Specter's still there? Inspector is still there? Did she remember you? I don't think she remember me. I mean literally, it was like.
I don't remember one of like five hundred kids right fucking wait twenty twenty five years ago?
Oh my god. So yeah, it was a special and it was just special because Miss Spector seems still like she likes her job. She does. She still seems pretty vibrant. I'm not gonna hold you. There's a lot of kids in there. I feel like to count those kids. But yeah, I was happy. It's a good school.
So it's just just so fucking much of a process, and I'm just like, really thankful I don't have the homeschool because I don't think I was like capable.
Honestly, who is capable? People? I don't know how know you that's all you're doing. I can't even figure out how to explain why C. You can make like, I know how explain that? How? Who taught me?
I need to find you because this language is dumb as fun.
Wait. Today I was learning the letter J and she was like. I was like, name all things with. She's like jelly, jump, rope, gel, and I was like, gel doesn't start with. She's like why. I was like, fuck, I don't don't, I don't have I don't know why. I'm like just gel. At this point, I don't know. I don't know it's called gel. I don't care gell until someone explains to you why it's gel. Let me tell you why.
Because whoever made up the English language made a mayor and they were like, you know what, it's all gonna be some function, nothing's gonna make sense.
So we'll make the language make.
No sense to just to set everybody all the way off. No will ask any questions. But Ellen couldn't make there be three theres. Make it be this trick where it's like I free except after C, because that's super necessary when you're tricking masses of people.
And everybody just went with it. And here we are not even able to homeschool. We gotta drop them off because who the fuck can explain that ship? And I don't want you, so thank God for school ship. Wow, that's so true though, that's so true that because we're not we're in that place right now where like I'm like, wow, yeah, why is there an Ellen couldn't? God damn it, why is there an Ellen couldn't for what wouldn't why it'd be nice? Wouldn't it be nice if the ship made
some sense? Oh my god? And I feel like also, I'm like, oh my god, she's gonna know I'm not that smart. One day. She's gonna come home and she's gonna ask me some important shit I should know. And I'm not gonna have the answers consistently. Go back to school, I know. I was like, I need to read some books more often. I need to read some mystory books, like real one, actual history books.
History is gonna come and then I'll be like, no, none of this ship is true.
This is all not true. Take the book back. Oh my god, the whole nother problematic situation. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I mean I guess that's their job is to make us feel inadequate so then we do better that's literally the job of a child to make you do better, to make you feel inadequate, so that you do better, you become a better person. That's that's essentially what it is. Because I am a better person because her, because I felt like I needed to be because I wasn't I
could be better, right, you know? I have like mom guild, I'm gonna miss her. I feel like really like I want to go, and I'm excited to go, but then I also feel like this, like who'll release it? I know, but I also I haven't seen her though, and I just have this.
Like, Okay, what do you think eighteen times three hundred and sixty five is?
I don't know, but I've got a lot. I know you're not gone. It's a lot of I don't know. I think. I just feel like I feel like I don't know.
I think you're gone for chunks long time, like two weeks at a time a lot, or like three weeks at a time, and so it feels like a lot, and then you're here, but like because it's like sometimes long period more longer than you'd like, it feels like more time because it's chunks.
I just want to miss out on these moments. I think that's more so what it is because I know they don't last forever, so like I want to experience them also. To be honest, I have a terrible memory, which literally scares me sometimes, like my memory that I worry I won't remember these moments, and so that's why it's so important for me to be so try to be as present as I can. And that's scary for me to admit, because like that's something I say. I
think about a lot. I'm like, wow, there's like chunks of my life that I don't remember, and people will be like, do you don't remember blah blah blah blah blah, and this is something like no, or they seem like a faint memory. And I think that's why I also have deja vous a lot, because they're actually just memories popping back back in my head. But I don't know. I'm like, is it because I spoke? Because I spoke too much a weed at a young age. It's true,
advocate at I is it true? Yeah? I was right, calm down, Yeah, But I think that I think about that too. I think about just I love I love being with her, and then sometimes I'm like I can't wait to get away from her, No, for sure, but then I and then but then I'm like, oh my god, but this is you're you're the coolest human ever, so cool rights fucking coolest human ever. Like yeah, it's insane, but yeah.
Damn isn't it even even cooler that our kids will require us to be more present?
That's a big gift.
So so yeah, I know, sometimes you just look at her face and I'm like, yeah, I don't like, I don't like to take a lot of pictures all the time. So I'm like, am I gonna miss out because I'm not always taking pictures? And I'm like, just take it in right now.
You know, like just.
Really yeah, because they're never gonna be this size and this age.
Again, it's just like and it just keeps going, just like life. Mm hmm. Then it's crazy old. Yeah there, then you're dead. Then you're dead that you brought that right back around it just like I talked about, do you know that how long do you think I would have had to have these altoids for them to have expired? Ten years? Like I swear I just bought this. It's crazy. This is a really awesome joint holder holder. I never knew that, but you know what, I knew it wasn't
altoids in that box. You didn't say it was in that box.
And I was like, she said she had weed and I never seen altoys before.
Yeah, if you ever need like a cool weed box, just get your altoids box. What's happening over there? What is that is that you? That was you? Okay? I thought that was some him At first. I was like, what is that position that he's saying? No, I think I've seen that one. You're old, You're all old. This is the Oh that is the mold. That is the mold. Yeah. Oops, Oh my gosh. It's not a secret that King Noir sends him as his porns. I think he sends them
to multiple women. And I'm pretty sure we're not the only women. Oh No, for sure, that King Noir the porn star is sending his porns too true.
I wish it's over here reviewing them while we're recording.
I mean, damn, God, damn god.
It looks like God was like God literally said, here you go, here's the perfect dick.
It's literally wow, it really is. It almost looks fake. It looks like an attachment. Speaking of attachments, he has one for sale. HM, sure does, and I'm saying I think it's probably worth the purchase.
I mean, better than the Safari one that we recommended last year.
This you need. I'm getting this attached. I'm about to fuck King Noir. I'm about to fuck him with his attachment. Were you gonna put the little does he know we've already fucked? Where are you going? Suction it? I can suction it to the bathroom and in the bathtub.
Oh yeah, like the frog position.
Or just like against the wall, like the in the shower, like in the docky style, like oh yeah, in order to see all these moves happening right now that Jamila is doing okay, like these are top not I feel like you'd have to like reachest it so many, so many times, just because there's nothing like the real thing with motion. But you can make it work. I mean with this situation here, which I will make that work. It's nice. It's more than nice. We posted about that today.
Oh yeah, go follow a King Noir and you can at the end and make sure if you want to see, if you literally want to see the world's perfect most perfect penis pretty much.
Then he has an account only fans and fans only only fans I don't.
Know, and fetish royal fetish films. I wish we could do a swipe up on the podcast, like swipe to buy. Actually, we're going to include the link to his sex piece in our description of this episode, because it's very you will not be disappointed. Like, actually, pause the episode right now because goddamn, goddamn. Okay, that was distracting. I have to pack.
Okay, Oh, we have an advice question.
This advice question pissed me. Oh no, this is okay, we have one in our DM this one email. Let's do this one first. Okay, this advice question pissed me off. Mm hmmm. In a while, Basic Betty again, Hi ladies. It's been a while since I first wrote to you guys about my basic ass sex life, so I thought i'd set an update since the last time I wrote in My job moved me to tod we go to can't read my job moved me to DC, and I decided to use that opportunity to explore my sexuality with
hopes of becoming a little more fatianic. For a bit, I met a guy, literally the guy of my dreams, or so I thought, and we started dating and eventually had sex. It was literally the best sex of my life, and I finally had orgasms. Life was on the up and up. I was getting great consistent Dick, got promoted at work, and I was in a healthy relationship. Things changed when my guy decided it was time for us
to look at wedding rings. He is thirty six, a doctor and was ready for commitment with me, or so he said. We talked about it and it seemed like we were on the same page until one day he stopped talking to me for two days and then posted a photo of him and another woman. She turned out to be his wife. I later found out through digging that he lied to me about being single and apparently was married the entire time. We dated for about a year,
and he just celebrated his two year anniversary. He archived old photos of them on ig and had not one single tweet about a wife, wedding, or fiance. I visited his home several times, even pop ups, and there was no trace of a woman that lived there. I later found out they lived in separate states up until a few months ago, around the same time. He ghosted me, and I've been so upset. When he finally reached out, it was to tell me to watch how I communicate
with him because his life is different. Mind Joy never contacted him after finding out about his wife. I'm not the type. I'm not the type to knowingly disprespect another woman like that. When I asked him why he would play me, play with my emotions, he told me he was in love with me, but I didn't match his I didn't match the aesthetic he wanted to build for
his life. He said he would never date me pub because of my weight, and that he met his wife back in med school and they look better together than we would. I blocked him, and I've tried my best to move on. Girl. Okay, there's a little more. There's more. Yes, last month, I had a miscarriage. I didn't know I was expecting, and I had one hundred percent and I had and I one hundred percent had an emotional meltdown.
I've been taking this breakup hard. My question for you, ladies, how do you get to the other side of heartbreak? I've been suffering silence because, as I stated in my in my first letter, my friends and family are super prude and religious. Even though I didn't know he was married, I would I would never hear the end of it. And for the sake of my mental health, I've kept this to myself. I just want to get my post breakup glow up. I know it takes time. Any advice
you ladies have would be great. First of all, fuck him.
He's a fucking dickhead fuck and possibly a sociopath.
One hundred percent one. That's like deeper than fuck boy.
You are absolutely crazy, right, Like that's sociopath, Like that's that's beyond just fuck boy. I think that you are right for not sharing with people that you think are gonna judge you, even though it's absolutely not your fault because you didn't even fucking.
Know, not your fault.
But anybody who is married and takes someone to go look at rings.
Is absolutely a sociopath. Like what the fuck is that?
Like id channel, You should be actually lucky that you got away because he's gonna.
Be That's what I said. I you, he did you a favor. He absolutely did you a favor because guess what, this is not the last time, and it's probably not the first time. That's that's I feel really bad for that woman actually, and you really dodged a bullet, And I think what you need to do, we really is probably first of all, you probably need to take some time, especially with the miscarriage, Like yeah, and I forgot I almost forgot about this. It's like wow, Like that's a
lot that's heavy to take time to heal. But also know that like it's not your fault. And also like don't look at his social media. I feel like you have to really disconnect from this completely because a sociopath, he might come back around, you know, you just never He's that manipulative and sounds conquer because.
Even to day, we don't look esthetically good to get back to there, we looked a steadically going together when your dick was in my pussy right raw, raw, Look it was aesthetically please there and you're eating my pussy. I just that makes me really upset and angry for you. And I understand like.
Having a baby by somebody is so much.
Deeper, especially when you had expectations for it to blossom to something more. I mean, I can only imagine if I met a doctor and we had all some sex and he was amazing and we're going to look at rings. Oh bitch, we're getting married. We're getting married. I found the man of my dream. I would have told all fifty seven of my friends that I don't have all my family members.
And if this would have happened to.
Me, I can I can't even understand. I can't even put myself in your shoes all the way, but I can only imagine that I would be pissed. And just so, it's deceiving and it's fucked up, but you also have to recognize that people thrive and manipulate on that way because it's satisfying and it's crazy, but people are Most people are crazy. There are not going to be that many rational, cool down doors, normal sane people. It's just doesn't that, it's just not how the humans are set up.
It's only ass on the podcast. I don't know, only us that are ain't out here. Seriously, Like, if you're listening, we're meeting. If she hits the fan, all the rational people are meaning it.
I'm staging the microphone for you currently too, because I think you know you have to focus on Okay, that was really fucked up, but you went you moved to DC a New City, You got a promotion. There's you went there to live your best Thatiana Thatiana life, and that's what you said and that's what you're gonna fucking do. This was just a minor bump in the road and maybe a learning experience. Maybe you really needed to check your boundaries. Maybe you need to check in with what
your boundaries are. And because they're how long did they date? A year? Yeah? Like there you just have to check your boundaries, listen to your intuition, because was there no time at all throughout that time that maybe something didn't add up? You know, we as women we make shit work, right, We'll be like whoa, you know that we see the red flags and that we ignore them. And I'm not I'm not saying that's what happened, but I know it because obviously he deceived. He was deceiving.
Yeah, and he came to his house, which is yeah, and I would never think I would.
I wouldn't think anything of it either.
Yeah, the nerve of him things to have changed, Oh you don't think my esthetic?
I mean? And also to take a dig at your when his body and like your confidence and to make you feel like you've done something wrong. Is so hurtful and ridiculous. That's what he basically is drying and make it seem like sorry, you don't match my esthetic. He likes to hurt people. Yeah, he's not a good person. So so you're good. Yeah you are good. That's not your dream man. But he will come and if you
I hope you listen to her. Actually I know, I know you listened to our last episode, and like, I really want to encourage you to, you know, speak out what the things you what things you want, you know, when you're ready, because just you know, join us. We talked about a last episode about like manifesting our men. Is this our new thirty day challenge, our ninety day challenge? Manifest your man? What if it doesn't come up for ninety days, that's doubtful. I don't even want to think.
I don't know whatever. But in the meantime, really think about the things that you and commit if you want to be thought, maybe this mom came in the road because it's manifest your Thoughtiana.
You came to play, you came to date, you came to indulge in that dating and indulge mostly in yourself. I think that's what with fucking and dating sometimes do if you're doing it right, if you like come.
To the terms where you're like in tune with yourself.
You could be doing it to satisfy you.
And if that's your purpose, then don't don't get caught up. Don't get caught up, especially your new city.
Take your time if people, if people are gonna fuck with you, they'll be there, they will be there. But really commit And maybe that's who the lesson was the first shiny thing. Don't settle, maybe because shiny things be dull.
When you scratched, you past the starkfest. I got appreach bitch, I don't know.
The church say amen, yeah, and you gotta really let the time play its part. You know.
Have you read this book? It's called My Men Love Bitches. You love that fucking book? I do.
I think you need it. I think you should find it. It's on our website actually in our book club. But I think because and I don't, I don't know you personally. This is just my psychic ability in the stage all working together, plus the two stories you send it. I'm thinking that because of the background you came from and the family and.
What you're what you're used to you.
I mean not just that, just the fact that you have a vagina, and I think you have a vagina.
I don't know she does. Yeah, I think, I guess.
I think we gravitate to love, to comfort, to to like you know, taking care and nurturing what's comfortable to us.
That's in our nature.
I think I'm the most non feeling, feeling person. But one time a nigga bathed me, I don't even know he could read good honestly bathed me.
To remember when that should happened to me too? And I was like, that was like he had told me about the CD he got in high school. Bitch.
I drove to a mobia the next day and got that CD. I'm not kidding. And he literally had probably like he couldn't texts well, So I was like, wow, I'd be blinded. That's when I knew it should be fucked up in our heads. All I'm saying is with all that, take take this time to decompress what you've been taught, what you've learned about sexuality, about dating, about expectations.
Especially coming from your background of you know, judge, maybe over really no religious people maybe seek experiences, and that is you have think something to choose from. You get yourself options, give yourself the rain, the permission to have options. It's okay you don't. It's healthy to have options.
It's important to fuck a few dicks safely.
Just to know what's out there, right, I agree. I had one hundred percent agree with that.
And don't do it to the point where you're like trip it the next day. If you can do it with being cool with it.
Do what feels good to you.
You know your limits, right, but just don't clan like, don't attach to the first thing that looks good because it's rarely.
It's rarely the first one is no.
Honestly, don't even take a nigga seriously until it's been twelve months.
Honestly, honestly, twelve months. Let's stay for twelve month. Even my shit with Happy Bay, like, it took nine months for me to be like, you know, this is not for me, like it's and it all seemed great in
the getting and it's and he's a great person. It's just like we weren't on the same page really, like I think we were just on different journeys in our like singleness, and it just took nine months though, But that relationship I learned so much, Like that's so true, and being single, I've really learned that because I've always jumped back into relationships and like giving in like things
not working out. How I even thought, I'm so grateful for so many of those times that they haven't because like I feel like it takes time, Like for me, even in my in my most in my longest relationships, I never it didn't start to get weird until like around a year and a half, two years, Oh yeah, because.
I mean I know my baby daddy for fifteen years and it's weird.
It got really weird. But but then and I feel like you choose either to push through or you break it up. Right, Yeah, I pushed through her push through me too, which is not always good.
But to answer your question, I think getting through this is recognizing that this is your lesson. There is no relationship friends, boyfriend, baby daddy that isn't set there for you to come out on the other side like, oh, okay, I learned this from that.
I'm stronger because of that. That hurt my feelings.
But now in the next situation, maybe your skin's a little tougher, maybe there's always a lesson to draw from any experience, and I think it's really important to pay attention with that lesson. Maybe in order to get to the next level.
I think just really focus on loving yourself to the most, because once you do that, you just respect yourself in a different way, and like you respect your boundaries, your space, your time, just giving yourself permission to have options like all those things. You'll just have a clearer probably idea of what it is you want too. Now you're living in a new city, it's like you really have this opportunity to start over. It can be whatever you wanted
to be, that kind of who you wanted. That's so cool, you know, so dive into that. I'd been excited about that. Yeah. So much weed, Yeah, so much weed, so much stage. I want to hit it again, hit it again, please. I talk about the lavender blunt and the last one. I think, yes you did, Okay, well you have you found lavender since no, but I know somebody has a goddamn lavender. But somewhere you just go get one. I don't just grow one yourself. I know, let's get some seats.
Actually I should grow it right there. Yeah, yeah, are right, somebody else. I also need to grow weed out there. Oh yeah, my baby Daddy's dad. He grows weak. It's good too, Can I can you tell me where to grow here? Can you tell him? You take a picture. I don't know. I think that does. It needs to be in the shade or in the sun. I don't know anything about. We just smoke it.
Okay, let me take care of it, all right. Oh what I was gonna say is this other will tell me roll blunts with rose petals?
Like rose petals? Why would I want to do that? For what I know? But I don't know. Look, I gotta go.
I love you, guys, Okay, close them out, whole bottle of line.
All right, guys. You know where to find us at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices, Join our newsletter on our website Good Mom's Bad Choices dot com, and we will see you guys next week.