Strength In Rebirth feat. Massy Arias

Los Angeles. Are you ready to confess? Because guess what we are going back on tour. That's right, La is our first stop on October twenty first at the tear Grand Ballroom. Doors open at six o'clock. Bring your homies, bring your girls, bring your partner, and bring those confessions because the night is going to be filled with naughty little secrets. And you know how we turn up at a Good Mom show, So I cannot wait to see you. That's October twenty first at the tear a Gram Ballroom.

And what's funny is because it's cultural too in our culture, blacks and browns or kurvy. This is whybbl's are very popular, not popular, right, But at the end of the day, it's not the bl that's going to maintain a family together.

Right.

You can have all the surgeries in the world and have the nicest body in the world is you. It's how you show up for yourself.

Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Meila, Happy Wednesday, Happy Hemp Day.

Yeah, how you doing?

I feel good. I drink coffee so I feel energized. Oh how is that with this burst of the energy is coming?

I haven't had coffee in two days, and this is what happens.

How come we haven't had coffee in two days? We were in like the coffee land. I don't know, I just didn't get to it. Oh okay, I didn't have the coffee that I wanted, which is really irritating. But we just got back from Miami like moments ago. I literally slept for like fucking like twelve hours.

We needed it bad.

I know we say this every time we go out of town, but I'm not a party girl anymore. I don't know. I think I've graduated out of it. It's taken. It takes a lot out of me.

We went to Miami for like a week and it was our friend cash Lee's birthday.

We were into the house and a yacht. I mean, did all the Miami things.

We wore like nighttime sunglasses every day, which is obviously the definition of Miami. Little outfits, sparkles and nighttime sunglasses.

It's true, but I think I'm gonna start being like Amber Rose and wear sunglasses at night. Oh me too. I think it's the thing now.

They have to be like a little translusings. I don't like to feel like I can't seek it because I already can't seek.

Sometimes you got to commit, because I've done that. I wear the black at night and it's a look, and I have to commit to it and be blind.

My eyesight's not not high enough for me to an additional.

Additionally, put on dark glasses.

They have to be like light or else I'll be bumping into things, plus drinking and hell no, they're like, where's that blind mice going? Where's my friends have seen?

These people?

Can't take off my glasses.

I'm committed to looking like Amber Today we went to the what was the African Afro Nation?

We went to the Afro Nation concert, went to.

The beach dinners.

We went to dinners.

We went to Kei Key on the River or yeah, we went to fucking the strip club. One thing we're gonna do is we're going to do the things and oh we had a book signing. How the fuck do we do all this? Every time we goes, we're like, we're gonna relax. We're gonna be so relaxful and then we do four thousand things. But we had a really beautiful book signing in Miami. We have a really bomb ash tribe in Miami that I didn't realize that we had.

She was like, I'm here to support you. We're doing this, and.

I'm really grateful that you made us do this and not made us, but encouraged us to have a book signing in Miami and brought out your community work at.

Moms Miami is the shit.

And just shout out to all the women and moms that came out to support us, and Mom Juice for supplying the wines because everybody knows moms love wine.

I love the name Mom Juice. It's like the perfect wine. If I was gonna have a wine company, it would be called mom Juice or like mom Mama Juice. Or I can make some calls and so we can do good bad juice, good good bad wine, good wine. That is good wine.

How good is everything? And our thing?

So I mean, it was just lovely. It was lovely and thank you Nikki. You did, you did did the thing and make sure you guys go follow. Thank you Nikki. And I see why she's a doula And is that her Instagram thing? Thank you Nikki, so so appropriate. Yeah, she's a She's a black doula in Miami. And like, if I have a doula and I lived in Miami, NII would be my doula. Literally, Like she's the most compassionate, Like she just fucking cares.

I don't even care that she's in Miami. When I get pregnant, her ass is coming to La.

Okay, well we gotta get the same time so that we can just make it work.

At one point, you.

Know, we could just like pay for one fling. That's a good idea. Yeah, it's a good idea. We're really share a duela in a midwife and hold hands and push.

That'd be beautiful. Did you enjoy your trip, my love? I did enjoy my trip. I had a great time. I've got to hang out with my friends. I realize how lucky I am. Always realize how lucky I am. But I have such an amazing group of friends and tribe, and that we just are all fucking nuts, and but we accept our nutsness and we love each other and we'd always no matter how annoying we are to one another, and we bicker and shit, we just get over it, we get past it, and that's that.

That's true.

We have a very unique friend group of friends, as you can imagine, very unique, very unique couple. And so the friends that embrace us are legitimately crazy and it's wonderful. And this weekend we had like a new two new people in the group because people got some new bows bows bows like what you never heard bo oh b e a U yeah, wow, wow, that's you're taking it.

You're a real author these days, my love.

It sounds very aw three anyway, that base not to be confused with bases or booze, but bos.

They're the same, all of the same synonyms. And I was really concerned if they're going to be able to, you know, just slide in and not be alarmed at you know, the a'mount of titties pussy popping and you know it's working. That happened and everyone seemed fine, So it was it was really nice.

Oh.

Also side note, I got to meet my internet crush Derek to Grace.

It's not his name. I looked on his Instagram, but it's not. He changed it Derek Grace too. What was it two before? I think so, unless I've been saying it wrong. But everybody did get to meet him, and the joy and the excitement. At first of all, I was like brain dead and I was watching Jamila and she said, so tell me.

I was like, bitch, you know your nigga's sitting right here.

Right I know, I have some things to ask. She was so excited, she was. She was like a kid at a candy store. I was like, he was fairly talking. He was, I mean, he was his woman was doing a lot of talking. But I was just like watching you. Was like, I was like, Wow, I'm so glad that you're here because I have I'm tired a whole lot to say.

Well, the thing is, we were supposed to do a podcast with him. The bitch ass studio fucked up our slot, and so I was like, we have to make this happen. He first of all, he drove four hours to come see us to do the podcast that we didn't get to fucking do. And so I was like, we're going to breakfast and then I text Erica like, get your fucking ass up, because it's gonna be weird if I just go, come with me, bring your naggad, we're going.

And we did, and he was very nice, very nice. Man.

I'm already talking about we're gonna go out there and we're gonna make a vlog.

Oh yeah, what are you sidebarring with him? Yeah?

Wow, and we're vlogging.

We're gonna do a vlog and we're gonna shoot guns and take mushrooms and do fun things.

Okay, okay, cool sounds great on compound, on the compound. So yeah, we had a really fun filled week in Miami.

And did a lot, a lot of a lot of a lot of things, and yeah, I'm grateful every you know, we did an interview with someone from the Stacks podcast and she said, you guys live juicy lives, and you know what, no word has ever been truer. We live some juicy fucking lives. We do a lot of fun shit, and I'm very grateful. I'm an adventurer, so my life is panning out exactly how I wished it to be.

Perfect.

Anyway, more importantly, we're back in la and we have a very very very special guest with us.

Dumb then.

You guys, we have none other than health coach, mom preneur entrepreneurs, Mama preneur. I'm fucking separating, Mama preneur. I would say, like motivational speaker, even though I don't know how much motivation motivational speaking you do, but when I read your post, I feel motivated as fuck.

Massie. Thank you ladies for having me.

Welcome to the Good Mom Show.

I'm so excited to be here. Really really cool, dope, laid back real ladies. Yeah, we just be chilling. We're like ten minutes away, so we'll be friends.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's that's basically why we bring everybody here is to like, come on our show, ak, be our friend.

And be our friend and well and hands your life. You and hence mine. I'm like, I was looking at your page, I was like, I need those How do I get those apps? I'm like, wait, she doesn't diet, she eats regular. Wait, I'm like, oh my god, And like your body is just incredible, like what you've been able to like really do and focus in and just like it's so motivational.

I'm like, fuck, I'm gonna get.

The I was literally like a metre shit on the plane right now, and I was like, can't wait to get home and go to the gym.

And I don't even do it in the body.

I'm going to join the program. I know, well, I know, you know what I don't Really it's a byproduct. The body is a byproduct because even for me, ex size is mental health for me. When I don't do it, I realized I started becoming a fucked up person. Really, that's my mom juice. Do you drink or you don't drink? I barely see. I knew because this is the point of drinking. Who were just having this conversation like what's the point of drinking? If I'm going to have one drink?

Like what does that do?

No, I'm going to have two or three and then the next day you just feel like shit. Well maybe if maybe two will make you feel like shit? Right? What do you right? When you drink?

What do you drink?

I don't do wine.

Wine just makes me feel negative and sleepy, and I just don't want to do anything. I do anything, It will be vodka on the rocks, no sugar, yeah, yeah, well see.

Even in Miami, I we went out. I think, oh, yeah, when you when we left you that last night and we went to this to find this amazing afrobeats party.

Oh really, yeah, it was amazing and they we have these drinks and they kept bringing these like I kept ordering drinks with pineapple juice and all these and it was like a slushy drink and it was delicious.

It was like leachy.

But as I'm drinking it, I was like, I can't drink any more fucking juice. I'm like I'm gonna throw up. And I literally like I can't taste like juice. I can't take it anymore. I was like, I and I'm not even really a big juice drinker. I find that man drink a lot of juice.

Do you notice that.

All the men in my life love juice, especially black men. They love juice.

And so I'm more of like, you know, like little soda. But for some reason this trip, I was just going to all tropicals and I feel it.

I'm like, in the.

Morning, my head hurts. I'm like the hangovers worse.

There you go.

But also I don't really love alcohol without some for flavor.

I tried to do a little splash, like give me splash pineapple, just a splash, not too much.

So I just have a little bit bad.

I agree, it's not from time to time.

If it's the Ocasian and the vibe is there and my friends are there, I'm usually the sober one in the room, but I'll.

Have we will be friends. Yeah, not necessarily.

I have all this energy in me, and when you get to know me, I don't really need. You know, often when people why do you drink? It's just to loos enough.

I'm loose. I'm good.

I'm loose on myself. You're either gonna like me or you're gonna hate me. Usually people like me. So yeah, I tend not to, you know, drink too much, and then I can't do the other things. I feel, business, the daughter. Everything just has to be in line. No, And you know what, me and Mila had an episode. We were talking about j Lo and Sierra and we were like, they don't drink and that's why they're beautiful.

It was, how are we ever going to look like Jaylo? And is the era We've got to stop drinking? Ages?

I I go through phases so I'm like, I'm like I'm a yo yo er, which is why I'm reading your thing. I was like, oh god, I know I even well in December I kind of went like cold turkey everything. But I was really patient with my diet. I didn't like deprive myself and I just like I did eight mostly hell and I was like, Wow, this feels so much better, Like this is this is sustainable, not like these other things that I've done. I've done

Something Freeman, some.

Guy, and he, oh, you know I'm talking about I know everyone in the Finnis worlds knows him or you know, know each other, but him and his girl they have like these like you know, these diets that they do, and they was so extreme, like I had to eat salmon like seven times a day, yeah, for one week straight to put my body in kotosis. And then it's like when you're it's like when you're just automatically or burning fat all the time kind.

Of right, Let's just say if you cannot sustain it for the rest of your life, it's just something you're doing short term that may affect you. So it's not that you have to eat less is that you have to just build a better relationship with food, so I'll help you.

Yeah, my relationship with food is not good. I think because I've early on in my going to school with mostly white girls, my body was always different. I was always curvy, so I was always like judging myself and

I didn't.

I couldn't eat salmon for two years after that. No, Literally I would smell it and.

Be like, Oh, That's the crazy thing is that's the perception that most people have about health and wellness and about looking better and feeling better. I mean, I'm getting really serious when I know about wellness. I'm really serious.

This is my passion, right, So mentally, like you just have to be away.

You're what you do most of the time, not what you do some of the time. Right, And if you empower people with education, no gimmicks, you have to do something that is going to be sustainable. Understanding your lifestyle, applying different philosophies of maybe eating, exercising to your lifestyle. Sometimes we put ourselves into a box trying to do something that is completely alien to what fits us, what makes us feel good culturally, lifestyle wise, where we are right,

And I just realized that I just lost a nail. There.

You don't don't give up on press out on nails because I've you just didn't glue them.

I just didn't glue them.

Yeah, did any glateos pressed them on?

No? I did it a little bit, but I just did.

You know, I'm on this all natural, leaving my hair all natural, simplifying my life. Therefore, I can do so many other things, which brings me to the next point. You know, if you are a business woman, you have your kids looking perfect all the time. It's an idea that we'd subscribing to you on socials, but it's not.

You got time.

We do, we do.

Wait, so who is Massy eleven years ago?

Like?

How did you get into this? How did you get into this wellness thing? Have you always been like wellness conscious?

Oh?

Not at all.

When people see me now, they think I had an athletic background, that I was in sports.

For you, worry girl, because I was watching a clip of you and this guy on the beach. He was like working out with your best friend, and I was like, this bitch was a track star for sure.

I started because of body dysmorphia and depression. I wanted to die at some point, just to give you the short story, and witness pretty much saved me.

It really just I found my passion.

I you know, I was at a point in my life where I needed to change my brain chemistream did to change, and I found something that I started to do for myself, just like you guys started. It was never I was never. I never intended to be a business. I never intended to be a career. But I was experiencing.

Depression that took my entire life, so I gave up on everything. You know, at the time.

I emancipated when I was seventeen years old. I came to the country from the Caribbean Dominican when I was thirteen. Two of my brothers came with me, and by the time I was graduating high school, my brother gets diagnosed with stage four kidslinghoma is a form of cancer, and.

Maybe this happens.

I'm not going to speak on I'm going to speak on my culture. But everything it's put on the female, right the boys. You know, we create all the boys. Everything was put on the females. I was pretty much the only one who acclimitted to the culture coming in. My brothers didn't, but I did. I was very studious from I love to learn.

Did you come here to California? No? New York? Okay, that's where we all end up on the East Coast.

That's what I thought.

I thought. I was like, I can't heals New York.

You ever in Miami, you feel these these East colored vibes, even though I've been here in LA for nine years. But ultimately, just to give you the short story. You can go to my website and see the full documentary. I Fitness saved my life. Most people, I come from the Caribbean, we have the highest rate, the highest percentages of diabetes and hypertension Latinos of all Latinos, right, and

Right.

And once I started.

Feeling what I was feeling, I mean, at seventeen, I had the responsibility of my brother not going to the school that I wanted to that I work really really hard to acclimate to the country. I had to quit it all for my brother for a whole entire year and a half, and I started changing my life the way that I was eating. Most people do not know that I have a blood condition that causes my asthma. So I couldn't even perform sports because I had a reaction, right, And.

I literally started.

At the time, a boyfriend of mine, my first boyfriend I ended up in good hands with, who is now one of my best friends, was a personal trainer, and I fell into this DEPRESSI where I mean, I'm almost five nine, I'm tall, right, and I went down to maybe one hundred and fourteen pounds to my lowest, looking almost anorexic, loosing all my hair, my gums. I mean, now it's coming back, thank God, after the baby.

But I was lost. I quit school, I dropped out. I just didn't want to do anything I lived.

I lived that crazy life that you would never think eleven years now the person that I've become, and everything I did was to help myself be a different person. Mentally, I was weak. I felt weak mentally, and even my emotional intelligence wasn't there. Right, So when I say that I fitness, I didn't do it for the body, even though I had body this morphia. Because I'm from the Caribbe, I'm supposed to have curbs. I'm supposed to and I'm here an ectomore. Most people do not know as well.

Very long time.

Once I got in the groove of things that I just wanted to mentally feel better, and all was doing was like cardio and doing things that going outside, going for walks, I started working on my strength because I felt weak mentally and physically. And the strength that you see and everything that I do today has stemmed from that very beginning, the confidence that fitness gives you. And I've always been this way always. I want to be the best and see the fullest potential that I can be.

Period. So that's how it all started. No, fitness is very important.

I teach it, I coach it, and I do it in a way that is bs free, Well we can say bullshit free. I'm not going to be the person that is going to tell you what you want to hear or sell you a dream. I'm going to give you the tools so that we can slowly find a process to get you up to speed and take your power back with your body, with your health, with I mean most of the things that I do is now life coaching, because it sounds like therapy.

It sounds like it's like a therapy, which I think in nately, I think once you start getting into shape and start working on your body or it, eventually it inevitably also starts to affect your mind or train your mind in a way.

Yeah, in a capacity you know if you let it.

But you know, sometimes I mean, as you know, and if you're listening, like I get it, like I'm one of those people that is like on their fitness journey and I'm like, oh my god.

I feel so fucking good. I feel amazing, and.

Like one thing comes into my life to kind of like say, put a wrench in it real quick, and then it's like am I going to take the wrench or I'm going to go And then I don't know, like it's it's always the consistence is the consistency for me, And I don't know why it's so hard to take care of yourself. It's not, but it feels like it is in this, in this in the day that in the space and time that ran with our being moms, being entrepreneurs, Like I want to travel, Like, oh shit,

You know.

It's really like the commitment to yourself like anything like whether that's therapy, whether that's you know, you're building something that you're that you're passionate about and also like taking care of this thing, only now we only get one of I think if I see people. I was on

We become old because we stop moving and doing the things that are going to keep us young and keep us sexy.

There has to be some sort of vanity that you have to have in.

Self respect and self worth that you look at yourself and you learn how to cope in the right ways. I mean, I could grab the glass of wine. I mean it's easy when when you don't have other tools to manage with your children. I mean it raising a child on your own as a single mom is it's already hard. So learning the tools to be able to be more efficient in and troubleshoot what you want, it

What it was, for who I was. So think about emotional abuse, all of it. Now you can't do that.

There's even now because most people ask me if I'm dating and whatnot and prospects. It's like you have to come correct because I know from a mile away what you're bringing to the table, and that's okay with me.

You know, it's okay with me. I'm still single and will be for a very long time.

Yeah. It's like if you're not if you're not aware of your self worth, then you're more susceptible to emotional abuse, you know, because then you believe it. If you don't know who you are, which you know what you are, people can say is anything to you and then it'll

And what's funny is because it's cultural too, in our culture, blacks and browns or curvy, right, this is why bbls are very popular, popular, right, But at the end of the day, it's not the bl that's going to maintain a family together.

Right.

You can have all the surgeries in the world and have the nicest body in the world is you. So it's how you show up for yourself is what you do every single day that it's it is self self love and self worth goes far beyond than what you look like.

And I always say we should never be in denial, you know, and there's a lot of us who are in denial. At the end of the day, you you know what you have to do to get on the other side. How how you get to the.

Other side, right, is what's important because at the end of a day, like I'm referring it back to saying like, you know who you are, you accentuate the you know your body the way that you want to accentuate it. Right, So if you don't, if you're not where you want to be, then let's fix it. And let's fix it from an area that comes from love instead of hate. Right like, okay, Like, let's not be a denial girl like you let yourself go ooh, I'm here to help together.

Right. Well, we give this thing on our show where we play a little game called Trigger and I would love to play with you to get to know you a little better quickly. Basically, I say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay, don't overthink it, you might get nasty. And when's your birthday? That's part of trigger base is Yeah, it is in this one, okay, because it's never been in there before.

You want my son, my moon, my you don't give us a la.

We might as well, what is it?

Actually?

What is it?

Oh God turner?

Actually, but my son is in sash Okay my moon is in Gemini. Oh my my venus instant Scorpio.

Okay, which you're rising? Do you're rising?

Oh?

Your fire baby?

Yeah, but you're so you're you're rising and your sun are our fire and then your moon is what's Gemini air? Yeah? I don't know what the Andrew Latina, you're a fucking firecracker. The hate of what fire signs?

Which is a sign?

Air signs?

Specifically Geminii. He's an Aquarius. Oh, I love Aquariuses. Yeah, I mean I think there's specific signs that do. I always say like it's the unhealed versions of these signs. And granted not everyone's no one's healed, right, but like the ones that have you haven't even been no acknowledge that they needed to do any sort of work at all. Those are the ones you gotta be careful. Those are the terrifying ones because I'm a Scorpio, and Scorpios, you

Yeah.

So I feel like, especially with the men.

It's like my dad. My dad is a scorpio. He's the coolest guy. Yeah, but walk correct.

Yeah, he'll love you until he don't until you do something wrong and then that's it.

Ye, ghosted.

For life.

I could do that.

Okay, here we go, let's play trigger guys.

Bad habits have so many I was gonna say, you don't have any bad habits.

Trying to save people?

Captain save ah, that's like that part bad habits of just women and everyone, because I don't with all the red flags like are there for you, are men.

Doing a lot of saving? No?

I don't think so. Yeah, I mean maybe like financially sometimes it makes them feel good, but that saving like like brand building of a human that's women's women marriage, not those eyes marriage, she said, slavery.

A mutual contract, motherhood Jesus is supposed to be quick on the best thing that ever happened to me. Religion agnostic, but very Christian?

Is an agnostic Christian? You don't believe.

But it's not that I'm believing. But we don't know. You don't know. We just don't know. We just don't know. But I am. I'm a child of God, very Christian, born in a very Orthodox That don't make no sense. How are you going to be a child of God?

Very Christian? But you're agnostic? Agnostic? Because think about this, if you're a Muslim, do I hate you?

Well?

Do you think if you choose a religion you have to hate them, hate one of them?

Well? But most Orthodox religions.

They are there's a hierarchy, and for me, we don't know we have If you understand world religion, we're all saying that something higher exists and we're all creating our different stories. But at the end of the day, most religions, God is love. So I am not going to hate on another religion, hate on another person because I am believing in my opinioned opinion of what is up there. So that's what I mean when I say agnostic. I can sit down with anyone and hear you out and

Well, if you look at oh we're going at home, my mom is going to kill me upset, but she as well has opened herself to being more receptive. So what would you ask me?

Again?

Oh?

I was just asking if would you be open to adopting a other belief systems and of other religions if they resonated with you?

Yeah?

Yeah, okay, cool, Like being kind and loving your neighbor, yeah, or like I don't know, whatever it is, like certain rituals or belief systems in general, like you know, okay, monogamy, tradition, open relationship, good luck, childhood, special h your childhood, wonderful, obesity, preventive health, priority, cannabis, and a loos like man, black women, gorgeous? Favorite artist dead or alive? We're doing this, favorite artists live. I would say.

Jesus Christ. That is just hard. I was like, Jesus, what song he got? I'm just so ambiguous with my with my what him? I would say, I mean total pad which I will say Bruno Mars. Okay, he was so talented.

I was expecting Bruno.

Bruno Mars is like an all like old time. You know, you can just put it anywhere, listen to it. He's just like whether you're crying, hyped up, motivated.

Did you have you seen his documentary where he was like a little Elvis impersonator as a child on the islands. No, yes, he was an Elvis impersonator, like a tiny Elvis impersonator, like seven years old Hawaii, maybe the younger six in Hawaii. Yeah.

He would get hired for parties and he was the best.

That's hilarious. That's why he has that You know he got that little do wop soul ship going on.

I'm gonna change my mind. I'm an artist. I would say one who one Luis Gera Louise.

If you're if I'm going on the Spanish inside, you gotta go there.

He would be the ultimate. Okay is he still alive? Oh yeah, okay, he's still popping? Oh? Is he cute? I mean not like that?

Well you just said it like international were like, I was like, do I need to look at he know, he's like a dad.

To turn on.

Intelligence, turn off arrogance, masturbation, needed, threesomes, good.

Luck, favorite.

Goods that fire.

She's like, it's my good luck. Not I don't share? Uh, anal, why not if you're with your partner? Why not?

Favorite porn category?

I don't help one. You don't watch porn? Yeah, it's not for everybody.

Uh.

Favorite position It all depends in love.

Yeah, like in love or like casual sex or two different ones.

I mean I don't know what cassual sex is.

Okay, favorite position in overall sex missionary visionary looking at as it's yeah, it's it's it's intimacy.

It's about intimacy.

That's a scorpia venus.

Yeah, it's like.

Yeah, yeah, if you break eye contact, I can't trust you.

Oh you can't look at me. It's over.

Therapy. Essential celebrity crush, m.

Am. I weird that I don't have any like celebrity.

I mean now it's not met some people that I really that I had.

A crush on and it was a disappointment. So I don't have any crushes per se, because I need to know who you are as a person. Do you have an I'm a sapiosexual. Do you have any brushes right now in real life?

Yes?

You do? I do? Oh just one?

Yeah, couple, I have a couple, right And I'm just seeing how you're gonna You know, this is a scorpio vibe. You just take it's low and see if you're down for the long ride.

How has it takes me a lot to trust people? How has dating been as a single mom? Because you were married a joke? You were married before?

Right?

Yes?

And how long were you married?

For? Three years? Sure? Were you guys with each other prior to that for a good amount of time as well?

Years?

Eight years and then three years married? Yeah, so no, not eight years total?

Eight years? Nine years total. Three of those were married. That's a long time in your a very long time.

And I feel like I don't know how old you are, but like in a I'm about to be thirty five this year Club listen, thirty five is a different thirty five.

It is, I mean because even my relationship, I was with my partner for seven years. We got together when I was twenty two, so he took up all of my twenties pretty much, like from twenty two to thirty, you know, And so those are like such integral, moste parts of your life, those twenties, you know. So I was it's it shaped me in ways you're naive still, yeah, yeah, So coming out of your marriage, like how what was what was that?

Like?

I mean, I guess choosing to not be married anymore. I mean, at least for me, Like there was a definitely like a moment in my relationship where I was extremely happy for a long period of time. And I talk about that too, and even in our book, I say, like there were years in which I was totally happy.

It's it was.

I was a dumbach just like, oh my god, I'm special and be charismatic, and he was extremely charismatic and funny. So there were all a lot of things that kind of balance those things out, you know. And you know we we're young too, and so is he in ways, so like there will be challenges, and.

From a very young age, I've always been the same. I don't think you know, I think we evolve our personality traits. But I'm very independent. I'm a learner. I love to learn, and I'm just a force to be reckoned with in everything that I do. That's how my parents race me. They raised me with a lot of They gave me a lot of confidence. You're gonna be great, You're gonna do great things. They they always instilled that in me, especially my dad, until I was on the other path.

He just is o me, but for other path for a good reason, right, because I had to learn right. So I think.

People grow apart. And for me, the concept of marriage was very important because if I was going to get married, it's for life, okay, But that those were not my circumstances.

I didn't get married for those reasons.

I looked at my daughter and I said, is this the version of MASSI that you want your daughter to grow up with? Absolutely not. My daughter is not going to have this idea of me. And he was very hard to do because you don't want to break that dynamic. When people get together, you know their weaknesses and their strengths. It's not like you're weak in this point and I'm strong in this point, and now I have to feel a certain way.

But you put those strengths together.

Usually that weakness that you have may be your partner strengths, right and vice verse, So you work together to grow.

And that never happened.

So I felt like I kept growing and growing and growing and demanding the best version of myself and just doing that and just being I'm very just open, like, hey, do you I'm just gonna continue to do me. But let this never stop, because I'm never going to stop being Mossy. And when I'm silenced, that's when it's everything just fell apart and it was not amicable, and I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that, and it's it's tough, and it's tough to be tough because usually people don't

Was that Was that because you chose to do that or you felt like you had to protect your relationship or protect what was going on without influence or craving silence? Was it was he was?

Did you feel like he was like prohibiting you from like just interacting in a way that you generally would.

Have No, I would say most you know, we had this conversation off before you arrived. But it's you see this a lot in the black and brown communities.

Usually when breakups happened, there's a lot of he said, she said, And then you have to protect the other sides, protect your family. You have a family that's grieving what's happening. You also have a daughter or a child that eventually is going to see this and he's going to impact them. So I just didn't want to speak on something that

And let's putting the hard work now.

If you don't want to put in that heart work and we are both them happy at least I was unhappy, then it's time to break ties and we can do it amicably. But again, breaking ties would mean what would that mean? That now we're breaking up what we had together? But it was fine by me because I can start from scratch and no problem, right, and I can continue to work with you in that capacity we were a great team. Okay, If if we were a great team, great, we can continue this. All I want is my freedom

But we I really tried, and we tried right. So eventually when I rebuild everything I.

Had to learn, I didn't have the time to go on social media and explain these things that were just unfolding so slow, and it was so aggressive and emotional, and I just couldn't because that time that I allocated it to the noise.

I call it noise and call, and it was very painful. That time. I was losing time on how am I going to rebuild myself? Where do I put this energy? I had to put it on myself to process how.

Anyone going in like relationship, It takes two, takes two to make it work, takes two to mess it up as well. So I'm not in denial. You have to take into account what you put in your role, you know, and exactly until you were.

Just like, well, I guess I've been really doing all the wrong things and this is not working.

So I'm out.

And it's okay. It's okay for things not to be permanent.

It's okay to outgrow each other and to say let's go our separate ways, let's not take this personal and just let's see how can we amicably continue our life and continue to raise our daughter and whatnot. But this time three years is taking me to truly rebuild everything where I've had to go back to school to learn about business management, to learn how I'm going to lead a team, to be a good mentor to learn areas that I didn't know and under and understood. But I

Quit it all. I don't want to be in the on TV anymore.

I don't want to be this person that is sharing her life because I saw it and I saw the comments. It was crazy, and even to see.

It from women right hating on you and like attacking from women, the things that people may say because you never know, you don't have the full story. I cheated I was the.

One who left who It's like crazy allegations and I'm here a human being seeing all of this.

Oh, I knew it was not real.

I knew this was fake. Oh look, she had a perfect life, and what a human being? You know, you have no idea what I'm going through. And once I removed the anchors, it's been great and I wouldn't want to do it any other way. I'm going to teach my daughter how to be independent in how to be an asset. What's the point of staying in a marriage or staying in a relationship when it's not sustainable. So I just didn't want to. I made choices or choices.

We were just not there yet.

Did you feel like when you got married you had that fear like you kind of knew underlyingly that like not like it wouldn't work out, but that there was fear attached to it.

There wasn't like for sure certainty.

So there's this mutual contract that we have that we're going to remain best friends, that we're going to remain best the best to make decisions for our daughter, for our marriage, for the business that we're trying to grow, and to me, integrity is everything. And when at even feel like a moral compast was a line with mine and there was no integrity, I take the things that I do very serious, and I take risks on me.

I bet on myself.

Because I know that everything that I'm doing is stemming from passion in the education that I've put myself through all this time. And I work very hard. I sometimes, you know, I open my eyes. I'm taking my first vacation in the last seven years.

Guys.

Wow, yes, girl, Yeah, you are too hard for it to be seven years until you take a break.

Well, I'm self funded for the past eleven years, you know I was able to. I don't know.

I like to do things my way, and I've had opportunities to scale my company and scale it from like all.

These investors and whatnot.

But there's absolutely no way that I'm going to do that because I'm going to lose my voice and then I'm just going to become a cookie cutting version of everything that is out there instead of providing and keeping my voice completely just clean for the consumer. The right partner will come. The right investors will come one day, but I'm not there yet. I'm not ready. I had to rebuild eight years of a name in the industry,

I love what I do. We have a community like my tribe Miami Warrior community is a community just like you guys have your audience and we help each other with our stories and that's it. I have battered women on my like from nurses to the military, to battered women to too great professionals.

I mean, there's it's a rainbow of women and we're a community where we help each other.

So that to me is very important. And I'm a big feminist. I'm all here for family.

Yeah, I think it's important to hear stories from women like you or just you know, like all types of women, because I think I think people have a perception. Now you're discipline you're strong. You have this amazing self funded life and business, and you've built this amazing tribe in this community and you know brand and you know, even those women get in situations and relationships and and you know, they look up and they're like, huh, I know, I'm smart, but this is getting tricky.

Or like even I have gotten into.

A relationship that's fucked up, even I have ignored red flags, even me myself, who's done this and that, and this my intuation came in and I I sided with the fact that I have a daughter and I want to build a family, and this is what it will looks like.

Amicable, And you know, I'm amicable.

Ambilicable, and you know, and even you have made mistakes and not mistakes because obviously it's always for the better, it's always for the greater pick like the lesson.

You know, mistakes are necessary so I mean they teach you that's experience.

Good mom's bad choices.

Baby about this.

This is my first time being married, my first time being a mom. Who's telling you that you have to have a manual? It's your first time? So can we stop judging each other for our choices? We're gonna make that's life. Good choices, bad choices. How we steer and learn from these choices. I had to so no vacation for seven years. Guess what if I wanted to continue to be so funded and have a voice in my brand.

All the while someone's telling you, you know, if you if we're not together, look at your look at your desperate friends looking for men, You're gonna be just like them.

I've heard that line very many times. That's why I'm triggered.

But like you know, like just planning seeds of self doubt and planning seeds of you can't do this without me, even though you know that you can even though you've built this prior to this relationship, even though the brand is you. It's just like it's those like when you when you let somebody in and you trust them and you kind of feel safe with them, and you let them in on secrets and on businesses and on opportunities

But then you see that, like everybody is not great, and that's why there is important and emotional intelligence that was extremely important two years of therapy to try to process everything you try to process like it, I'm blaming myself. I'm like, wait a second, I am too smart for this. When did this happen?

Well?

Wow, well I think even I think how I think because especially because of the brand you have and the message that you have in the honesty and all these things you have, you judge yourself even more.

Yeah, Like I'm supposed to know the supposed to do this shit.

Yeah, you get mean women not to like to empower themselves, to feel strong in their bodies, to feel strong in their minds. Meanwhile I'm feeling weak in mind realizing because it's like little cuts. It's like we interviewed already who she's and we talk about her in our book as well, and she is a narcissist expert, and she talks about how a lot of times narcissists it's like little paper cuts until suddenly you're bleeding everywhere. You didn't even realize it.

But think about this, how much power it takes to say, Okay, I'm out, you did that, but and it's over and guess what I'm doing better and better?

Right?

And that's the fear if you think about this, living so unhappy in a situation where you have it. We all have this gut feeling of things that are not aligning with our energy. So are you you're going to say that you're going to stain this for the rest of your life or going through that pain? Change is overwhelming. But if we want a different outcome, we're going to

Okay, what's the next level. That was the next level. Look for your happiness.

Let's go and the amount of learning and the empowering, the empowerment that I have right now, it's it's to another level being able.

This is why, like I constantly tell women, put your energy. Look that energy that you have. We're all heartbroken, being broken up, live to belittled, all of that. It's awful and.

You're gonna feel it. You're gonna start blaming yourself. You're gonna start it's it's tough. But that energy, you can put it towards the other person.

This is happening to me or whatever. Take that freaking energy and channel it, transmit, channel.

It to the point that what you're feeling, those big emotions, it's to actually get you to the other side. Oh you feel like this is going to break me, watch me, watch me, let me shut the noise.

Do whatever you want to do.

I'm going to focus on X y Z And that's what I did. Strategically, what do I need to do in order to continue to learn and in order to continue to be the best at what I do?

Period?

Because at the end of the day, Yes, I have a business, but people buy my business because it's symbiotic. You're getting something out of my services, and it's symbiotic you're winning.

I'm winning.

I always believe like ignorance is bliss, but education is power. So many women came out saying I'm dealing with the same thing.

Women.

There are colleagues of mine who's they have been stripped down to zero on food stamps. If it wasn't for therapy for the family circle that I have, I don't know if I would have been afloat because it took emotionally for three years. It was an emotional breakdown, and you have to process those things, and to.

Have to see your.

Daughter going through all of that and you're going through it and still hold it down to be a good mom when your heart is breaking, when your head is breaking, right when you're just so afraid and you're everything is coming at you, that's pretty tough. But learning how to go from the other side. My faith right faith had a lot to do with that. My circle had a lot to do with that. Therapy had a lot to do with me processing and coming out the other side stronger.

What I'm telling you.

It is.

It is hard.

It is a lot of putting your head down your desires as a person, right as a woman that you have desires.

Imagine if it came to a breakup you were already checked out, right.

And you're still a female, You're still a woman, you still have this concept that you're chasing of what does this family dynamic look like? I want a happy story for my daughter and I. How can I create this environment where it will not look like that anymore? But let's do something that looks like for us, it looks like a family right, And.

It is tough.

And the crying that I think I aged the past three years, No, seriously, the amount of crying, frustration, sleepless nights, burnouts, trying to help. People have no idea what I've gone through, and they would never see it, literally because at the end of the day, I'm pushing through and they're gonna know, you know, once I decide to write only strategies, right.

They're gonna know. But it's this is how we get to the other side, by community, by talking.

We have to, we have to.

This has been like a savior for us, being able to show up on it, flee and like in friendship and just like the sister circles that we've been into, like bitch, I'm hurting, you know, like a bitch I'm hurting. I don't know, you know, And like but the strength and in the strength and power in the conversation in sisterhood and saying I got you and saying girl, me too,

You know that's gonna be her story. That will be her story now, absolutely not now.

And you will inherit this half assed version of me because I've I've subjected you to my energy and we're connected no matter what. But if you transmit that energy, even if it's apart from that dad, that power in thenately inherits to your child, It's like, Oh.

I see my mom move, move a bunch of shit around. I see my mom bounce.

I see my mom break and build it back and build up multiple times, however, many times. And for women listening to this and who can relate, or are still in a relationship that no longer serves you, or at the very end of that relationship and right now you're like, oh shit, this is me.

There is nothing stronger.

Than picking up the pieces and doing that shit again, because the version of yourself that you see after that is the best version you'll ever see.

And it will take.

It will take a fucking ton to get you in the same spot in the same way. Like you know, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. Like the person I am coming out of my relationship with my child's father is one hundred million times strong than I was prior to that, because now I know nobody

Like women, for lack of better words, were alchemists.

And when you choose you, you choose automatically everything else that benefits you, and it comes, it starts to come to you without much effort. But you have to let go of the shit that no longer serves you, even if it's the person you thought was closest to you.

Hereie, and this is how you pretty much how you learn. I feel like I went to the school of life. I've had not a lot of relationships, so my.

Relationships are long. You're one of those. I'm one of those. I believe in tradition.

I believe in traditional values, right, and now I exactly know exactly what I want and I can see it a mile away.

I see it a mile away.

And this is why, like earlier you ask me if I had a celebritial crush and whatnot. And it is so funny because you're here in La in the little pocket. Everybody knows everybody, and you know they have this idea

And now I understand.

I understood, Hey, you're deserving of someone who's matching your values, your moral compass, who you are as a person. If that doesn't match who you are, it's not sustainable. Because at some point I understood I don't care how to I have no type. My type is I'm as satissexual. I like intelligence. That's what brings me to the next person you know, or or allures me to someone. If you can teach me something, if we can grow together,

Especially now you have to have two breadwinners, like both men and women. That's that's it.

If you are both an acid to each other, you're not leaving that because you're growing together.

You're an acid.

You're not looking at your partner and saying like we're all of this. Lack when the balance is uneven is when you start becoming unhappy. Right, So to me, I wanted to go through those experiences, not that I want it, but going through them now you're.

Now I am lucky. You need I need Yeah, I needed to.

I mean I have no experience literally, people that know me. I grew up in a household where I went to Catholic school. My skirts down to here I had to. Yeah, that was my mom growing up. No, you can't shave your legs until you're like sixteen or whatnot.

You can't. Yeah, that's how I grew up. So it's very limited in the experience that I have.

But now you know I've been Do you think you're going to adopt your mom's way of like raising your daughter like as strict as Catholic school, as like as as traditional as you were raised.

No, I'm raising my daughter completely the opposite. And my daughter and I are like best friends.

She has a voice.

I respect her, whereas in your house is like I'm the adult and this last say.

How how does that work?

Right?

She's an individual, right, She's literally a little individual with her own mind, and she has her personality.

Do you think some of that? Do you think being raised that way?

I mean, and granted we're all raised, our parents are raised the way they were raised, and we're like the first generation that's like, huh, I might be able to change this. Some some things need to shift. Like we're so we have so much like information about just there's

If I would have listened to my mom, I would have never gotten into that. So I should have listened.

Oh, your mom told me everything.

Your mom told you the opposite, okayaid the opposite.

But hey, you go to school, then you graduate, and then.

You meet prince, then you meet this. That's how she wanted me to do it right. And then I went against the green and that was just not It just didn't.

Work for me.

She told you to marry him, and she told you do not.

She didn't want that path I moved in before I exactly like all of that, you know, and she went she would have preferred very traditional. And to that point, I will raise Indie in a traditional way that she knows how valuable she is as.

A female, you know. And the way that I'm rasing hers to be just academically, just and emotionally just just bigger. She needs to think, well now that she needs to.

But teaching her about emotional intelligence, my daughter is like heavily in tune with emotions. She will sit there and she is the most well behaved child. She'll have a full conversation with you. She's just racing her.

Saw this beautiful clip of you guys, and it like kind of brought me to tears. It was like you were in the bathroom and she I guess she got it you were during her hair and she got emotional

Yeah, because we don't. Yeah, we don't.

It's like, think about this, Like for the moms that are listened to us, it's your first time.

Yeah.

I always say, I am seven year I'm a seven year old mother, and I'm an eight year old mom. Now I'm an eight year old mom. I only know as much as I know, and.

You're just learning as it goes. But one of the things that I honestly I've to me, I love people. I love learning about people, I love talking to people, I love connecting.

This is why I love my job. There's nothing that I would see myself doing. I just love it. I am so passionate.

I wake up every single day like now when it's stressful, you know, sometimes again it's stressful, but I love what I do and one of the things that I really really did not want to end up doing. Our parents didn't have the tools that we have right now. Millennials really killed it, you know, we really did something, but they didn't have the tools to build emotional intelligence. So I'm telling all the moms out there, whether your child is one years old or eight, learn how they're developing

Oh.

So it saved me so much stress not getting from like oh no, that's what you're supposed to do.

Okay, good, And I just treat my daughter with you know, there's this industry versus.

Inferiority, inferior there you go take it away, industry versus inferiority.

Okay, you know so, yeah, you know.

So your children from age to six, from six to twelve, I believe six to twelve, they are looking, they're they're forming their identity. And even you can see when your kid is doing something that they knew they were not supposed to do, they're looking at you for a reaction. All she gets from me is a neutral reaction, just neutral, even though I've lost it a couple of times, like oh my god, right, but it's neutral. And India shares

That do not.

Know who you are.

Have your upbringing, like different things that you do, have different morals and values and just completely different. And you have to let people be who they are and not take things personal and be you know, she's a little Pissi's water baby, right, so highly emotional and that's I feel like she has a superpower.

She's gonna be.

She's probably gonna be I don't know, in the art, something artistic and creative or something about people, something related.

To people and humans.

But I highly suggest all the moms listening to me right now, please get yourself some books. There's plenty out there. Maybe we should create a list right for the rest, but for your child's development, even when they're teenagers.

I know that that's going to be.

People call it like, oh my god, it's so hard and oh my god, like the kids, I have to like drink my wine because the kids are acting up. You should mean Indy, India is just and you do that through behavioral change.

Well, I think if you're investing, it's like twofold, like you've got to invest. We're talking earlier about investing in yourself and your mental health and your wealth and your mind and your body, and it's like you've also decided

I mean, even then, we're only parented as much. The only example of parenting is what we got. And then it takes for us to get old enough and mature enough to evaluate that parenting and say, what did that really work for me? Were those the ways in which I thrived? Or what did that hurt me in ways? That was that traumatic for me? Because I didn't receive this emotional patience or all these things that I wish

Well, and also the circumstances are different too. I mean, like you came from a I think a two parent household, right, and who's the bond is strong. And now you're raising we're divorced. Yeah, three years old they divorced, but but you had it. But but I've been thinking, like about your you're a single parent, like you have your daughter. It's just you two in the house. Her needs or might be different than the needs that you have. And sometimes you don't even know because this is all you know.

You know?

And I have to honor that part of her and not try to force her to be like, well, this is easier for me.

It's easier for.

Me if you just like get on board with this, you know, and it's like, well, this is not this is not her human design.

You know.

I can't go against that, or I could and then what the fuck's gonna happen there?

You know.

It's really funny when I see like memes on Instagram about like when kids talk too much, especially around this age, and like the parents like h right, but actually have conversations with Indian.

She's super dope. She tells me about her day.

I can find out even when she's insecured about certain things. I can find out anything through just her talking and he sur vibe just hearing her and I did this at school and that and that and that. But in having these conversations with her, I know what she needs to be happy.

You know.

After three pm, my day is done. Like that's it.

My phone goes like this, I wake up really early, So these are the sacrifices, Like I wake up five five forty five, from five to five forty five, that's it. But then my day I start a day early, but my day ends when I pick her up from school. So you can be I think in the three years that she's been in school now, probably I have missed maybe two or three picking her up and dropping her off. And he's usually either my brother or like, I don't.

Have an nan, I don't have a nanny. I don't have I do all of it right.

She my nanny's the school right and it's important to me. So these are sacrifices that I now I have to like, Okay, I have to pivot. If I can't be an absent mother, I can't be a workaholic and be absent because we know what that does.

And I'm saying, like, it's not what I'm going to be doing. Most of the time. I'm going to miss some dates, that's a given.

I am going to have to work late some days, but most of the time, she's going to remember a mom that went to pick her up, dropped her off. Whatever sacrifices I needed to make, I'll make him. I'll start waking up earlier, I'll put my phone down, and then that's it. There's some days that I have to tell her, like, hey, mommy has to work, you know, and he's going to go over. But we have a routine. We have built a routine. It's just like I've become

Hopefully she'ld be on vacation.

Since you will be on vacation soon and I command it.

How are you going to fit dating into your schedule? Like? How does dating fit into you? Know?

This well oiled machine.

I co parents, So fifty percent of the time I I having Durrah and fifty percent of the time she goes with her dad. Okay, right, we don't know if that's going to change. But managing dating, I like very.

Busy people because you're busy exactly, So managing dating, I have enough. I have like a whole week to myself to do that.

Do you feel like it's something that you want to do right now?

Are you feeling like I would like companionship, I wouldn't mind someone courting me. Or are you just like I'm still like knee deep and getting my life where I need it to be after this, No, I got my life where I need it to be. So you're you're open to companionship.

I'm open to the right type of company.

Yeah, not just any because I do have a daughter, and anyone knows like my daughter comes first, yeah, comes first?

Then you you know, like I come first, then my daughter comes first, you know? And where do you all?

And then if you're okay with that, then great. So I've been open to dating people that do not want children because.

You don't want anymore.

Because it would.

I'm open to people that have children and people that do not have children. I like more mature, more mature minds exactly. So I don't see myself like jumping in and saying like, oh my god, it.

Was true love.

We're going to get married and have no If that happens, great, I'm open to marriage, traditional marriage. It can work, you know, but for the right person, the person that is going to let me be who I am, because I let you be who you are, let me be who I am, and we're something together.

But there has to be a certain level of respect.

And my daughter, like again, my stepdad, my step I couldn't tell you he's my dad. That's both of them raised me, my biological dad and my stepdad. And that's doable. I know something out there or someone out there exists that it's going to blend this family idea that I have in my head, and if it doesn't happen, I'm great.

Yeah, there's no feeling, there's no one's feelings or you don't have to consider shit. No serious, you don't have to consider anything, and that's very important. Yeah, well, thinking of that and just knowing who the fuck you are. I want to get to part of our show where we have our guest share in affirmation. So do you have an affirmation that you can share? Think I already said it.

Just say change is overwhelming, changes every lining, but it is inevitable.

If we want a different outcome.

Change is overwhelming, but it is inevitable if you want a different outcome.

That is a fact, fact, fact fact fact. I think Peter is gonna be hard, but once you embrace it, that's it. I'll lock it.

Shift happen.

You can't be scared. You can't be scared. You know yourself what you need to do to get to the other side.

Just get it done. Break it down.

I think like it's like you can't you do you if change is easy? I mean you always hear this, change.

These easy, everyone would be doing it. Yeah, but it's a fact. It's really just that simple. It's really you're gonna live a misery.

And even if you are scared, you have to kind of say fuck the fear and just do it anyway, because what would be worse is you waking up five ten years from now and you're still in the same fucking loop. And now you're like even doubting yourself even more. The fear is even built even more because you've got strayed so far away from that person.

And now this is like a big mountain and you're like, wait a second, how am I even going to climb this? But what I say is usually I don't know if it happens to you guys that when you have lot and you're like, wait a second, how am I going to accomplish this?

Break it down.

Life is not a race, it's a marathon. So in your head you have to do this yesterday, and you're.

Thinking like, well, I want to start this and it's going to take me this This is.

Why don't you start by starting Yeah, right, and you're breaking it down right, step by step. Once you accomplish one thing, it's less overwhelming, less scary because you're you already faced your fears like you are afraid because you don't know the outcome.

So stop.

Obviously, you want to make decisions that are obviously you're not going to say, well, I'm going to put all my eggs in this basket and just throw myself out of a glyph. No, you're making safe decisions. You know what you're capable of, So you're going to take risks based on what you believe you're capable of, which is it's very important what you tell yourself every single day. I never wanted to make myself a victim, he said, I'm not going to go and speak about any like.

No, I am not a victim.

If I say, well, and this happened to me and this person, and that, you're gonna start believing that the body keeps a score. What you tell your thoughts physiologically change your body.

So raise it.

Oh you got to.

Is it Tarot time? I love, I think it's Tarot time. We pulled Massy pulled the wheel of fortune.

Which we haven't.

I don't know if you've pulled this recently or this year and the will. The will of fortune means good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, and a turning point. The will of fortune reminds you that the wheel is always turning and life is in a state of constant change. If you're going through a difficult time, rest assured that it will get better from here. Good luck and good fortune will make their return in time. Similarly, if they are going well, know this too. Know this too will change and life

You know, I believe in in like energy and I believe I believe like we're nothing is you said it? Like look at the little things that the universe is throwing at you all the time, like.

Literally, like no matter what you believe, no matter what religion or non religion or whatever higher power, or you don't believe in it at all, Like when you it's again like when you start choosing yourself, the synchronicities and like the signs will be so clear, and like that's happened a lot in our relationship, Like when we when we chose this thing that we chose that we didn't know we were choosing, it was just like very clear that even if it was scary, we should keep going,

It's true.

Whatever we're talking about is it resonates, you know, like, oh, it's eleven eleven, Like at this very moment, we're talking about this very important thing or this idea or you know, this this whatever the fuck it is.

You know, you see an animal emerge, what's a grasshopper?

Me?

This is me?

You know. But and some people think that's crazy, and for some people it is.

But you'd be surprised that when you ask Spirit give me a sign, that shit will show up if you're paying attention, and even if you're in a relationship that feels like maybe it's not where you're supposed to be. Literally, that prayer is like, God, if this is not for me, make it so bad that I can't deny it. Show me, you know, like when you say that prayer, literally, within days you will be shown.

And I'm not fucking kidding.

It's like this the most powerful prayer, Like if this no longer serves me, God, show me that it no longer serves me in a way that I can't deny it. That last part is really the part you need in a way that I can't deny it, because bitches will be in denial for some dick and some love and some fairy tale that may not be your fairy tale, and you might be actually missing out on the fairy tale that you actually deserve because you're so busy trying to make some shit work that doesn't. So, you know,

That will do it, and.

There's a level of consciousness also that you're acquiring by saying, Okay, let's say if I'm unhappy and I want to be in an environment where I feel supported, surrounding yourself with the energy that is going to be supportive. So you're starting you're going to start to walk in those thoughts. You're not gonna steer towards the energy that makes you feel X, Y and Z, You're.

Going to go the other way.

And sometimes that energy, which can be confusing for people. Sometimes the energy, the energy of not being supported is from people you've known the longest. Yeah, and you have to start to recognize even that, like, dam you're my best friend I've known for my whole life. But this doesn't really feel supportive. This doesn't feel good to me anymore. You don't really love and accept me for all that

That's enough for you to know that does that energy doesn't resonate period.

And sometimes it's motherfuckers, you know, in your whole life. Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's your lover. But start paying attention to how you feel, you know, when you leave you a conversation or the presence of someone and taking note and just gravitating towards what makes you feel good.

And sometimes it's just you until you find that friend.

Or sometimes you don't even know that you're the problem, and you have to analyze yourself. Sometimes you can be in your own thoughts and have this constructing your mind that no, this is right, and you may be the one who's that wrong. You may be wrong no, like and there's that's the saddest thing to go through. Like the truth is gonna set you free, but it's gonna either make you really sad or piss you off to begin with.

You like, Deah, maybe I'm judging myself because I'm judging everybody else, and that's why I can't get from point A to point B. And you know, and sometimes it requires that you reflect and really examine, like, am I the fucking problem? I'm the toxic person? Am I holding myself back with these you know, limiting beliefs about myself? Am I beating myself up all the time. It's like it really requires for you to like be silent and go within and kind of reflect on your thoughts and

Living authentically yourself, knowing that you are a human that is perfectly imperfect. You're going to make mistakes, You're going to hurt people, but you can change that. Right. If you hurt someone, you can change that. Right.

If someone hurts you, you can learn from that and you can change that other person too. By how you come across to me. I know I'm not a perfect human. Like no one it's going to ever look at me. It may look like what I do, Oh, she's perfect what she does. But at the end of the day, I've hurt people, I've disappointed people, I've disappointed myself.

I'm a human.

I'm doing things for the first time, and whether if I'm doing it, if I'm failing, I'm not going to beat myself up.

I know that I am going to continue to try because it's for the first time.

Just like you would do your daughter.

You know, you don't be up when they fail or when they don't get first place or whatever. You're constantly gently teaching them to be better with themselves. And sometimes the same way you would love on your child, or your niece or your nephew, you have to apply that same level of gentleness and care to yourself. It's like, it's okay, girl, Like we fuck up. It's okay, you made that mistake. It's okay you did this thing. Now we're learning from it and what's next.

Now.

If it's a behavior that continues without any learning, that's a different, you know path. But I believe you know we should give people the same benefit of the doubt that we would like. I always say I like to treat others the way that I would like to treat myself.

And even though I.

Sometimes fail, right, because I'm human, I am often checking myself, okay, checking myself?

How am I doing? As a mom? That's why I ask India, how do you think I'm doing on that video? What do you think I'm doing? Am I doing a good job? Am I doing? Hey?

Or to my mom like hey, how do you think I'm doing as a friend or as a daughter?

Right? The biggest the biggest.

Awakenings for me have been coming from family that has taught me like, hey, you something is wrong.

What's going on? And I think you're doing X y Z and that's not cool?

And I've had to check myself because at the end of the day, I have to be kind more kind sometimes, you know. I remember a year after just going through divorce and whatnot, I was mad. I would not let anyone in. And it wasn't up until someone that I work with that where guys were commenting on the video that I was working out with. That person told me.

You know, how many guys come up to me Mossie, like, they want to take you out. They want to Oh my god, it's like left and right when you leave. It's just but they would never because you look unapproachable. And mind you, I had to tell him, but I want to be unapproachable at that time. And I you know, now my energy is more, it's lighter, it's more receptive. Now things just change because I've processed.

All those things.

You're aware, You're like, I don't.

I couldn't get into any relationship without it not being healthy, right. It was going to come with some level of distrust or some level part of me that was not going to let that relationship be healed. Therefore, if you're going through a breakup, allow yourself the time to heal. That way, the next relationship that you're in, you're not bouncing and bringing in all of those traits.

That you have to heal or all the things that you have to heal.

And that's what I find that people just date and continue to date around and they're all bringing each other's dramas and not out traumas and not really processing. So you can tell when someone is completely or I need at least not at one hundred percent healed. But when they're ready, it's a different kind of energy, right, Because what I want now is just I want no drama.

I just want peace, quiet happiness.

Not that it's always going to be looking that way at every point, but I know exactly what I want, Like, I want no drama.

And you want to be able to exist just says you fucking are because this is who you are and to be loved for who you are, as we all do. And I think that's the thing, is like we're so busy trying to put ourselves in a box of acceptance and the truth the true acceptance comes when you're not trying to box yourself in and you're just existing boldly because those people will come and be like I like that,

What's a hor like?

I'm very like a hotel Oho stories. I have one too from Miami.

I just remember, Oh, okay, I was gonna share one from our audience.

Okay, you could share that one.

No, if you want to go and do it. Go ahead, I can share too, Okay. So I went to Miami. This is not that long, so don't worry. And you know, you know there's a mile High club where you have sex and an airplane which I don't even know how anyone has sex, and that little ass air Yeah, mile high club, that little ass bathroom. It doesn't seem sanitary, but maybe if you're driving riding private. But I haven't

Oh okay like that.

So actually our friend also joined the Rock the Boat Club.

We made a truce and she was like, you know they under the cabin at the yacht there's little rooms. They're a little but they cute, you know, little round bed and I was like, we all got in there and there was four of us there and I was like, listen, do you want to use the room at two thirty?

We're going to come in at three.

And she missed her appointment, but I did not, and so we went in there and we met in Orlando made a very good suggestion, we need to we need to you know, usually the boat like dock somewhere, like, no, we need to go on there when it's moving, and I was like yeah.

So we went down to the bottom when.

The boat started moving, and there was like a little mirror on the bed the headboard, and like there's a little small window, but there's just waves. And then you start like rocking and then he's like giving me some head and I was like, oh, yeah, it's like adding it was like a waterbed but in real life. And

It was really hot. And I was like, probably no one can even hear us, because yeah, I didn't hear shit. I heard nothing.

Anyway, if you ever on a yacht with a small room on the bottom and it's moving, I highly recommend joining the Rock the Boat Club with me in Orlando because we did it and.

It was great. Wow, Wow, this is this is a luxury hotel. This is a luxury hotel on the yacht. Go down to the bottom deck. It was very nice. I have another horri but I think I want to save it for Patreon because it's pretty fucking juicy, is it? Okay, it's a little nasty. It involves poop. Oh god, now you.

Have to say it now, I'm all in. I'm interested. It loves poop in ecstasy.

Poop and ecstasy. Okay, okay, So if you want to hear this horry, make sure we're not gonna You're not gonna hear right now. You have to actually go join Patreon. Click the link in this episode description. If to hear this week's hory about poop in ecstasy, I'm joining patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices. Okay, here we go.

I just love the openness and the transparency we have here. And I just want to say for the record that it's true ho shit brings the hose together, and sometimes that hoe is your husband, and you know that's how you find like who's acceptance, who has acceptance.

Over the host shit?

And I highly recommend too hose finding each other, because if you find someone who's square, then you're gonna be just lusting after hos shit your whole life.

Wait, why is the last part? Okay?

Eric?

I have a burning question. Need to ask.

Did your friend ever get an email back from the wife of the guy who catfished you and lied about his son living in London? I've been listening trying to find an update. What's the wife's Instagram handle? Can I send her your podcast episode where you put them on blast Lord? I'm sure somebody already did, and we don't know. We never I think we bought the episode is called him dating a married man, but we never we never heard. Oh they had another baby?

They did.

They had another baby. She was pregnant.

That's what happened.

When we looked last a couple of years ago, she was having another baby. Yeah, they I don't know if that was a good good choice, but yeah, wow, that was a good one. And if you want to know what webrate these your hories, there are ten we keep reading them. You're doing a good job, girl, girl wow, and we barely get like level ten good ones, and you seem to keep bringing the.

Heat, and if you have any horries, please make sure to either email them to where pod No Parental Advisory GMBC at gmail dot com, or you can actually leave us a voice message. You can leave us a voicemail and confess and will anonymously play your horri on the show or shared a Patreon. The number is eight one three twelve eighty seven. Yep, that's it, but we'll leave all that in the episode description. Massy, thank you so

No, I mean, I just can't tell you mine. When we turn off their brand.

We turn off this Mike, I'm getting all the juice.

You know what.

I thought you were going to say.

They're going to say, you know, I'm all this and that, but I'm a freak, and I was like, I can see that. Something tells me MASSI when like the door is closed.

Listen, there's fire in this chart for a reason. It's Scorpio and Venus.

Bitch, please Gemini to those little freaks. I'm half Gemini. Tell our audience where they can find you.

I am everywhere. I'm like air no.

Global global list like just like that everywhere be honest, but on Instagram MASSI m A as y A r I A s in mos vida that io and we'll link everything.

That's episode description. Thank you so much for coming on GOTT and chatting with us.

You guys, make sure you go and rate and review this episode on Apple Podcast if you haven't, if you've been listening for years and you haven't left a review, please go do that. Also, if you're listening or I'm sorry watching on YouTube, hit that subscribe button subscribe to our YouTube channel.

We have another retreat coming up in Costa Rica for New Year's Eve. It's December twenty eighth to January second, and we're going for New Year's Eve, bitches, So pack your bags, get a babysitter, come heal, come have fun, Come frolic topless, come meet good food.

Come be in the Caribbean and dance on the beach on New Year's Eve.

And you know, meet your tribe because it's strong out here and we really have cultivated a really amazing group of women who have just good stories and just open hearts and are looking also for friendships and tribes. So if you haven't gone to Good Vibe Retreat, yet, and you've been waiting. Here's your chance. You can make payments. Just put a five hundred dollars deposit. If we make it easy, Just get your flight, put your deposit, make

We've worried.

We've done everything for you, all the activities, the place we stay is beautiful, the food is bombed. You literally don't have to think about shit. Let the good moms nurture you. And that's it, all right, guys, We'll see you next week. Love you, bye bye.

Oh.

This is moll be a Ella a J.

Solova record The Lalas and Elasism