Stop Being Realistic

M h.

Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mila.

And it's Wednesdays. It's Wednesday, bitches, and it's raining in La.

So it's a special all day because it never arranged in motherfucking La. Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

That was beautiful, totally necessary the Hills.

I'm alive with the sound of music. You know, I haven't really like I don't know if you know this about me super important. I really like musical theater. I know you hate it, but I really love it. So in this.

Thirty something year of life, I have come to appreciate musical theater only because.

LASS like to. Like two years ago, you hated Hamilton.

I told you. In this thirty something years, I was like, this has just happened.

It's true. I don't like Hamilton. I know the people are gonna come. You can't like musical theater and not like Hamilton.

You can choose which theatrical experiences you enjoy.

You never saw you never saw it live. That's why I did not see it live. I did not.

I saw it on the television and it was annoying. However, my daughter is got cast it in West Side story. So now you're now you're into musical thing. Now I enjoy it because we had to practice so much, and I was like getting.

Really into it.

I was trying to like show her how to like get theatrical and like it's so fun use your project.

Well that, but also like get quiet and then like get loud and like use your over except face. She'll expression like just use.

Your voice to like up the ante and exude emotion and so randomly the other day I had this, I had this song stuck in my head and I was like, why is this song stuck in my head?

We're in the car and I just put it on. It was Grease. Oh I love Greece.

I got so into it. My daughter was like, can we change this? I was like, no, you, this is something you need to know. I was like, I've never seen. Oh yeah, I put a little on early. Yeah, we gotta watch Grease now. But I was really empty.

You better catch up because I need a man, and my heart is said on.

You, you better catch up.

You bet, I understand. Listen our our suburban white side is coming through. Honey. It's a fucking classic. I realized that that I got adult, like there was not one single black person at the whole high school.

I know, ari I pee Olivia, Olivia Newton, John fucking legend tragedy that she has pass.

We still got John though, we do have John. We do have John. He's epic.

He's epic.

I'd love fucking musical theater. He was also in the redo of Hairspray, which was a fucking phenomena. So fine, he was fine. It was fine as fun.

Emphasis on was I don't know what he did his face. He did a lot of stuff to his face, but in the hairline. Is he married to a black woman? Now, okay, he's married to uh, what's her name? She's yeah, she's an actress too, I'm thinking of And I'm pretty sure there's still very much deep into scientologies.

That's also I think made him unattractive. I think like they fucked him over there. It's always interesting everyone that joined scientology gets weird looking. It always interests me when like top notch celebrity, Not that celebrities can't be stupid, but it's like, how did you get got like? I would be highly like, I would be highly suspicious if I had a lot of money in a religious like any religious group was trying to recruit me, get the funk away from me.

Well, they get you when you're low, they get you when you're down. They know, Like I mean, like any religious have you ever said the episode of of uh, what is it?

South Park? When they explained scientology, I mean, it's yeah, that's all, That's all I needed to hear. It was like, this is stem Have you ever seen the documentary?

I saw some of it and Leah Remonie, she's like a super like she was in it.

She was young, she was born into basically, and.

Then she had to get pulled out of it because her friend went missing that they still can't find the wife. Yeah, the wife of one of the leaders went missing. And she was like this ain't something's not right because no one everyone was just kind of acting like it just didn't happen, Like this whole person that was her friend just didn't disappear off the face of the planet. And then she like exposed like the concentration camps they.

Have, oh, because what do you mean a concentration cam?

They basically have these these these camps where they send people that have like done wrong in the church and they have to do like they live there. They basically it's a concentration camp. I mean, for lack of a better word, but that's kind of what they call them. And they have to like scrub toilets with toothbrushes.

Yeah.

Remember Mimi from Love and Hip Hop, she was also she got into her mom was in it and she got into it scientology, yes, and it fucked her up pretty badly.

She talks about a little bit.

But Leah Remeny is like a current active, like proponent of like exposing scientology. I'm honestly surprised that she's like still with us, because they are they'll take you. They're nuts. Listen, shout out to Leah Remene. I would love her to come on the show. Actually, she's fucking hilarious.

I do like her.

I mean, yeah, I was thinking about us the other day because I was thinking, like Jessica was on talking about her cult experience and like I'm always suspicious of like a month of cults. Cults.

Oh my god, I'm obsessed with I'm obsessed with cults. Hunh Okay, I'm obsessed with cults because I'm always intrigued by like how people can get got, Like I know, it's possible. And I know people are always like searching and seeking tribe, but I'm so anti like like any structured belief system. I'm actually I feel like this is my announcement that my religion and it's not only love, but it's free thinking. Okay, Jess, In case everybody is wondering,

I had this vision of you on the boat in Mexico, trying you on Mollie, trying to convince this girl to like get out of her shell, and her boyfriend was getting so fucking pissed. I didn't make that with him. Oh no her, Yeah, get my little girl crushed. You would not leave her alone, and he was so pissed, and you were not reading the room at all.

You were just like because you just come back from.

Your like I fucking free like acid trip and you were on a motherfucking high. And I was like, bitch, if you don't sit the fuck down and leave this bitch alone.

Her boyfriend's gonna beat her after this. Guess what. Guess what, they're not together anything, they aren't.

But I think pretty sure that hold their whole trick was ruined because of it was because of us. I made out with her. You were trying to like get her like I don't know what, you're trying to get her naked or like your molly.

Just half oh.

And then she took it, and then she was like having the worst high ever because her boyfriend was not happy and they.

Were like, bye, I goes around. I'm admit I'm a pushy freethinker. If someone looks too wound up when I'm on one, I'm like, can you relax? You can take off your shoes. That was That was another time I know because I I can feel people's energy and I know and they need to get free, and sometimes that is it. People need to get free and they're resisting and I can feel it and it throws my energy off, like you gotta get out, you seem to in your head. Well, I think you know.

Your retreat leaders has shown you how to massage gently people into this space and not like.

It's dressing me up. Yeah, I've worked on it. I've worked on it. I just want people to think for themselves and not like through the lens of society and like everybody around them. And I just I see, I see it happen so often, and people lose themselves and I can literally see people thinking in their head too much, and I'm like, can you fucking stop stop thinking? But also I think about shit overly, and so I get it. But you know this is all to say, you guys,

When you're on a certain they could have got me then I was low. Weren't their eyes weren't peeled open, They didn't see that I was struggling.

No, no, no, I mean it's I believe in church. I've had like stints of going to church and like I feel the Holy Spirit and all that good stuff. But I don't know, I get uncomfortable and they start asking for money and judging and pointing fingers and you know, good and goddamn well everybody in the congregations doing some inappropriate shit. You know. I'm like, listen, let's all be real.

It make bad choices publicly like me and Erica.

Yeah, it's true.

I you know, I think it's at some point in the next few years. I got to go back and listen to the show from the beginning. I thought about that, But honestly, I'm scared why.

I don't know. I know, I've come a long fucking way.

We've all, we've both come a long way, and it's just, you know, I think it's it'll be I mean, I'm actually terrified for my child at some point to listen to the show.

Maybe she'll ever do it, maybe she'll just totally reject. I'm hoping it's just like too long and they're like fuck that, likeugh, mom's rich because of that thing she did. Let's never listen. That's my hope I am. I'm looking at our discord right now. Guys.

If you're looking on YouTube right now, shout out to our YouTube followers and subscribers. Hi, guys, I see you. I'd be common thing back in the comments. If you're not yet subscribe to her YouTube channel, please go ahead and hit that subscribe it.

It's nice to listen to our voices, but I think it's also nice to have a visual experience of good mom's bad choices. I'm a visual person, Like, even if I listen to someone's voice, I want to like, who the fuck is talking? But did I tell you the time I was in the bathroom at a restaurant and I was talking and someone came out the stall and was like, do you have a podcast? Like I not, I recognize your voice, but I never seen you. Oh my god. I was like, oh, I'm in radio. I'm like,

We put makeup on for you guys, we do and we're kind of fine.

Yeah, we put makeup on, not kind of like very I did my hair, put foam in my hair.

My braids are on their last their last legs, their last days.

So you know that Nairobi had to hit these fuzzies. You know we're about to hit the retreat, so we have to change our hairstyles.

Well, yeah, I'm going to reactivate this hair. So I'm gonna let the curls flow for seven days and then we're going to wrap this ship back up because the jungle. I try to do Costa Rica with my curly hair and it was annoying as fuck. So there's a reason why black women we get braids on vacation. There's no fucking it's just too much. It's too much.

One day when I stop using creamy crack. When I stopped using creamy crack, one day, I'm going to do it. But until is that what they call relaxer? Yeah, creamy crack, creamy crack, creamy crack. I never heard that. No, I don't use relaxer, so I don't know that good.

Well, you are black, so but I don't know's it does never touch relaxer except one.

You don't have a lot of black friends. That's why you have you Always she's always sure to publicly get it. It's always like where everyone knows that that's not true. Every time we're around some one who doesn't really know. She's like jimalism with all the white friends like she is. I'm always looking at her. We have all the same friend that the wage.

I really need you to go to YouTube and watch how Jamila just said this to me, because it was just like.

Like she can't wait to say you always say.

I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait. I could not wait. This is why you don't know popular black terms. You don't have enough black friends. Okay, one time, Creamy Crack did touch my hair because my aunt my dam my black side. She decided she was done dealing with my hair, and she put when you were you were there visit?

I was at my dad's house. Oh no. She was like, don't you want your hair to be straight like mine? And so easy? Is so easy? Rush?

And I was like, yeah, I was like eight, and I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought she was gonna just like straighten it. No, bitch, she put relaxer the whole thing. Yes, and then you washed relaxed my hair.

Oh, your mom was burning and I was like, what did your mom know? Oh? My mom?

When I got home, my mom first of all cried and then I cried because I was so confused. I didn't know what I had done wrong, and then she cursed her the fuck out.

My mom permed my hair in the sixth grade while my dad was sleeping because he refused.

He was so anti and bitch. When he woke up, he cursed her out so bad.

I was like ten. I was like eleven, almost going to the sixth grade, and I was like, do it, do it. I didn't know what the fuck I was gonna do.

It.

Is like it's gonna be better, do it, But you know what, that's the thing like growing up as like a black girl among in white spaces that like going to the pool was a thing. And then my hair fell out because I went to the pool and I had like all this hair and it was gone because I'm eleven, and who the fuck knows how to maintain and chlorine exactly. But I just remember feeling like, what the fuck, Why can't I just jump in the pool

I think growing up in white spaces for me, because I'm.

Mixed race is what they color.

After Latina, I think that it was confusing for me because it's like sometimes I fit in those spaces and then other times it was like you don't fit in these spaces, so it was like it was like, oh.

Yeah, come in, you're accepted. Oh wait, So I was like confusing.

I'm like, wait, like my hair doesn't like, my hair's fine in water, you know what I'm saying. I can't fit into the fucking franky jeans that everyone else is wearing or I'm like, it's just like the guy the boys don't like me how they like the white girls at my school, you know, And I just it was confusing. It was really confusing for me as someone who I think I'm definitely not white passing, and so there's there's just like this confusion I think for girls.

That are, you know, have mixed race. Yeah, I don't even know.

I'm like, you see how I'm getting awkward talking about I don't know why I don't call myself.

I don't know why I hate the word mixed race so much. Maybe because everyone's mixed in some capacity.

And also I think black people specifically use it as a way to feel like cool sometimes.

Like oh I'm mixed. I'm like, bitch, you are black, Like like I feel like sometimes black people think that mixed, well, it's brainwashed to believe, like when.

You say mixed like black, Like we want to always let people know, especially like we're happening to having a conversation at the gym the other day and my trainer was like, oh, that's because you light skin, and I was like, see why we do that? Like stop, He's like, I didn't know you had that in you because you're light. I was like, what the fuck does that happen to mean?

Like, like, what were you talking like in reference to what like what something you did? Like you bucked up? Yeah, bucked up? And he was like, Oh, I didn't know you had that in you. And I'm like, I mean, I think that's like, but I think even black people doing that to each other is a like, is something that we're used to doing because colorism exists in blackness. But I think that's the same reason people say shit like mix. I'm well, people, like I think people not

Well, the thing is is like, we can't win really because mixed triggers people.

But then when we say we're black, it triggers people. Really. Yeah, they be like, you're not.

All, you're not black because they want to put us in a.

Box in our blackness. I feel like if if if a mixed black person doesn't identify it with black, like say I'm black, I think.

That's weird because if I don't know what creamy crack is, I don't I'm not that black.

No, I'm not saying that to you, but I'm just.

Saying, but but to some people because I maybe I don't know some person like who is mix of mixed race may not know all the lingos in a particular like, I just feel like you you're.

Damned if you do, You're damned if you don't. A lot of times I think, if you're black, you're black, and you think that I do. I do.

I'm just saying I do think that, But that is not the case in the general population of blackness. I generally feel like black people are accepting of all black people.

You think that because you don't have to know. I just think that black people are or are the warmer, more welcoming race, I say, you're you're gonna be less likely to be disowned by your black family members versus I'm just.

Gonna tell you, Mela, because you are a dark skinned black woman, you deal with your own set of things being a darks and black woman. True, and as a light skin black woman, I deal with my own set of things, and generally I'm constantly reminded about my lack of blackness.

So that's something you don't ever experience. Well obviously not because I'm black. So that's what I'm saying. So you say generally even still like talking this way or going to certain being in certain areas, liking certain music. Yeah, like if I go to Philly or I'm in Atlanta and I say certain things, or like oh why do you talk like this? Or like not like obviously my appearance,

Every every aspect of blackness comes with things, you know what I mean, whether you're mixed, while you're light skin, whether you're darkin, whether you're a woman, whether you're a man, like there are all these sensitivities around being black and all these things because it hasn't always been easy to just be black or like you know, all just like all these variations of blackness, there's these rules about how you can be black or if you know this word, or if you eat this food or if you listen

Or if I talk like this properly, then I'm not black.

But like I experience that too, but in obviously a different way than your experience was.

I mean. And it's interesting because obviously we grew up in the same area and mostly white spaces, and we've probably had like some similar experiences with being the only black person in certain spaces and some that are very different, you know, So even amongst our own people for sure.

Yeah, and fucking family members too, absolutely, So I have to check friends all the time, like, bit.

Well, I'm sure. I'm sure some like some white friends probably think they can get away of saying certain shit to you and vice versa. And I've had people say shit to me. I'm like, why did you feel? And I know that it's just ignorance in general, and that goes on black for black folks and white folks. I told you we were. I was in the sushi restaurant. I met a new friend and I was like, I don't know, we're talking about great hairs. First, I need

And I was just like exotic hair. And I literally knew her for like ten minutes. I was like, why the I don't there's certain words that trigger me. I think you need to define what friend means. You need to tighten that up a little bit.

Just a lady I've met in the sushi rests. Tighten up, You're right, I do. Everyone's my friend, not really.

Anyway, Well, that is our colourism rent for the show. Guys, We're going to move on to the next segment.

People have been dying for us to have that argument, but we got it out. Remember someone asked us if we've experienced, like, do we experience prejudice because you're light skinned and I'm dark skinned? Yeah, I was like what. I was like, No, I don't think maybe, but we were too for we were too dumb to notice it. I don't know.

Anyway, So I was in our discord. I don't know if anyone has joined our discord yet. If you don't know what discord is, it's a platform where we chat. It's like a chat room. It's like the ultimate chat room with different channels. We have all different channels. We have one for affirmations or people share affirmations. We have one for horries or people share horse stories. We have

So today's affirmation is abundance is coming.

I deserve it and accept it. And this is from Jess Marie, So shout out to jefs Marie.

Abundance is coming. I deserve it and accept it.

I deserve it and accept it. Yes, yes, And I feel that I feel like I'm already in abundance, but more and more is coming. And I've just been really trying to focus on thinking positively in January because I feel like over the last few months I've been in and out of this space and just like worrying, worrying, stress, stressed, and just like thankfully, like I think I'm in such flow of my life that I haven't like a lot

With this has happening? Do this? Do we do this? Do we do that? Do we do that?

Oh?

My god, we didn't do this. She didn't do this. I didn't do this, We didn't do this, didn't do this. I'm just like, bitch, stop. Well. I think, like what like when you.

When you like achieve a lot of things, like like we have in a short period of time and manifested a lot of things, you don't think about the like maintenance that it requires and the anxiety that comes with the maintenance, you know, because sometimes I'm like, this is what.

We dreamed of, and I'm like, is it you know? And of course it is. But like it when you when you manifest things, it doesn't come with necessarily like a manual, you know. And like we've worked so hard on like working on all of these things that you don't really learn how to like mentally your mental capacity

I love that you said the maintenance of it. I've never really like viewed it as that, but it really is.

There is like a maintenance.

There's spiritual maintenance, there's which you know, there's maintenance of your life in general, personal physical maintenance. But I think, like the spiritual maintenance is so important to keep inviting in the things that you're asking.

Well, your mental health, Yeah, and like your mental health is a direct reflection of how you manifest and like how open you are and how like optimistic you are, and how inviting you are of the things. If you're constantly in a state of anxiety or like worry, then it's not going to flow easily. So like I think in the beginning of this proble, we were just like.

La la la la, la la la, I'm fucking nep and I'm healing, you know what I mean.

Like it was just like a it was like a it wasn't that intentional, It wasn't that intentional. It was a hobby and there wasn't a lot of pressure. But now as the pressure, like as it's less of a hobby, it's it's more to maintain, and it's like it's scary because you know, like, obviously you come from a background where your mom's like a super professional like mogul, but like that doesn't necessarily mean we've been given the tools to like know how to run our own business or

Faking it till you make it that has that has that has happened, and even in our business of like it's faking it. But I knew that if we just set it and wrote it down, eventually it would be true. And I believed that and then it was and I've just kept doing that over and over and over again. And it's been true in my business, it's been true in my personal life, it's been true in you know,

That's a good way to look at it, you know, and like.

Looking down and saying, okay, like I can see everything here, like what is what is my What I've been trying to do lately is think about, in my perfect scenario, what would the outcome be, not like what is the bad outcome? Because I think that's all a lot of times where my mind goes the case the worst case

Like, well, I'm just real about it, like realistically, is that really going to happen? Actually? It is? Being a realist is being pessimistic because realistically is not where we should be thinking. I mean shit, like we didn't realistically think to get here like we were but not really and all the shit happened. And it's like had we been thinking overly thinking to realistic and it wouldn't have probably manifested this way we were like I don't know, but that would be nice.

Like so like what if like instead of you deciding that you're a realist, like you are a dreamist I mean, for lack of a better word, and like you just dream about the best possible outcome, the best possible scenario, Like what does that look like? Instead of like the worst possible outcome? And granted, I think there is some realism that has to happen in ways, but.

Overall maybe not.

And I think that's kind of like what I'm realizing at this like in the season of my life and just this month and over the last thirty days, I feel like lately I've just been like going through kind of a bit of a transformation personally, and it's been feeling like I'm like, Okay, the way my mind has been like moving through manifesting and inviting things in is working, but like I'm still feel anxious, i still feel worried.

Well.

I think like the like the realism the realist. It's the unfortunate part of like human nature and of like the society in which we live in.

Is that realism only gives you space to dream as much of you as you experienced. So if I'm being realistic, that's true.

Yeah. Realistically, you know, I've never had the number one, like a number one podcast in the world, so like why that realistically? Why would I think that that's something that I can do? Like realistically, I'm looking at the charts and there's forty five people in front of me, So realistically, like it's going to take this amount of months, this amount of work, this amount of guests, you know.

Like all these things. Realistically, I don't know Sean King Realistically, I don't know mel Robins, So like, how is Erkama and be on my show? You know, like realistically, if I've only seen my parents struggle in a marriage, or I've only seen a house this big realistically, I can't

You got to be kind of like like huge, you know, you have to be huge, and you have to like cease comparison, Like I feel like comparison is often like the stealer of all joy, you know, and looking at someone else's version of whatever they're they've attained or whatever they're of accomplishing and then comparing it to yourself can feel can make that realism come in even harder, Like oh, I'm not as beautiful as her, or I don't have the husband, so that's why my life doesn't look like this,

Oh she has this per like she has this parent or this financial backing, so that's why she's there and I can't do that. Yeah, it's like immediately counting yourself out of an experience because you can't visualize yourself there. But like that is how you get there, by visualizing yourself in that space and believing that you were capable of doing it, not because you get this husband or you get this thing. It's just like I know I can do that too. I don't give a fuck that

Yeah that and also like not negative, not negatively self talking that person's experience too, because I think that's also to what happens.

And you're like, fuck her. She got some my nerves like.

Like why could your joy cause she's doing.

Something you didn't do yet it's true, I mean you can, I've done it. You can absolutely get caught up and like why is this bitch succeeding in this? Because you're too focused on the wrong shit. So I was.

Looking online and I was or I was on Instagram and I saw this. I saved this in my whatever saved fold or whatever they call it over there and the archives, and it was I don't even know if this is a true I don't know if this is true, but it spoke to me and it's the twelve laws of karma. And I feel like karma for me is directly in some ways linked.

To how.

How how you're able to call in the things you want in your life, like how you treat people, how you talk about people, acts of service, all these things. Anyway, So the first one was is the great law and it's whatever we put into the universe will come back to us, which I agree. The second was the law of creation. Life does not happen by itself. We need to make it happen, which again is for me. And manifesting is the action you put behind you know, whatever

The law of growth, which is number four.

When when we change ourselves, our lives follow suit and change too.

We can't stay the same. We can't. It's not possible. I mean we can. People do it every day. Your circumstances won't change.

They're miserable. The law of responsibility. We must take responsibility for what is in our lives. So like, hey, like my situation is fucked up because I've made these choices, and not blaming other people for your choices. Number six the law of connection. The past, present, and future are all connected. The law of focus. We cannot think of two different things at the same time.

To pitch, I don't know if I'm messed with that one.

That's hard because I'd be thinking of twenty two different things at one time, and that forgot the first thing.

We just did that in there.

Eight The law of giving and hospitality. Our behavior should match our thoughts and actions. The law of here and now. We cannot be present if we are looking backwards. Ten the law of change. History repeats itself until we learn from it and change our path. The law of patience and reward. The most valuable rewards require persistence, and then it's just the last one, the last. The law of significance and inspiration. Rewards are a results of the energy and effort we put into it.

Like thinking of karma reminds me of this episode we did with the second episode we did with Beleja and her husband called Mama's an Opener Marriage, I think, and her husband like said something so profound and it's not like that profound, but most things that are profound are

Well I think about too, like in the journey of healing and like you different modalities for healing and exploring and like trying things on and stuff. Like a lot of times people that haven't begun that journey at all and don't even know where to start, they look at you and are like.

What the fuck you're weird?

Like why are you? Why are you like chanting? Why are you screaming? Why are you lighting candles on full moon?

Like why are you? Like whatever it is?

You know, And a lot of it is because they haven't even begun to do the work, to even.

Start to like like uncoding what works for them. Well, it's just so easy to be like that's stupid, Like that's the white people.

Shit, Oh that's silly. Oh, Like why the fuck would I do that?

You know what I'm saying, Like, why would you be doing Cartwell's bitch, you're thirty four, you know what I mean? Like, there's a lot and that's the same shit, the same shit that doesn't allow you to try the modalities because you're so busy thinking judging what it is you haven't tried it. And I'm like, I'm a tryer of things, you know a bit, You'll try some shit. You know, because I'm like, fuck it, I'm not gonna knock it till I try it. But I too have had times

But you know, I think too white was strange because we didn't see one person in that room that looked like us. I think if that was a room full of like brown and black people mixed with some other races, we would have been like, this is interesting. We probably still would have judged, but maybe been more open to it. I think oftentimes it's really hard to accept or be open yourself up to spaces where you don't you physically don't see yourself in them. It feels foreign, it feels unnerving,

And do that shit. You You'll make a friend there. You will.

There's someone there waiting to be your friend, probably all of them. But a lot of times we don't feel like we have we're invited and we have a seat at that table because we don't see ourselves there.

Yeah, or that it's relatable, or that they're going to understand where I'm coming from because maybe I'm experiencing, you know, a different struggle or a different obstacle than you.

H it's true, and you know, manifesting like I just feel like at its core, like it doesn't have to be that complicated, and I think people have made I mean, there's different ways to manifest and everyone has their own things that they do. But at the core, it's really just the start. The start is a positive self talk, be believing in yourself and see action like there's things in between there and and actually me and Mila have

No, it's a digital asset.

Well, I don't know a beautiful pamphlet.

No one uses pamphlet anymore. This is not a hotel if you.

Check the pamphlet, the experience in which we know, we talk about these like we've created a handbook, these actual tools and steps that can help you at least just start the process of manifesting and believing in yourself and.

Like creating real uh just real.

Things and writing things down where you're like, Okay, this is what I want to invite in because a lot of times we don't even know what we want, Like, we have a lot of things what we want, and so we're trying to focus on all of them, and it's like we have to hone it in and like decide, Okay, this is what I'm focusing on right now. So I'm just really excited for you guys to read through it and apply it to your life. And you know, we get to share the tools that have worked for us.

Like it's just that's excites me when we do that absolutely, Like the collective is powerful and like you know, it's one thing to put your own energy all the time, and that's powerful. We're all like superhuman, you know, we have superpower powers. But like when you collectively have a like a community of people where you trust and you can collectively harness that power, it is super powerful.

We also manifested a studio in which we can smoke Weedn't how that was.

That's like, that's how we know we manifested the ship because this is very rare. This is you don't just go.

Into studio places where you can just be smoking in the office place.

You know. They told we told everyone that guy approved us was gonna give us the keys and then told us he checked our stuff and that we smoke weed and that we curse and that he's not gonna be able to give us the space. That was like eight months ago, and fuck that guy. Yeah, And we were patient and we wrote it down and we and we literally wrote down like office that we can smoke in, like that was super important, and here we are. We are smoking the weeds.

So if you're interested in just you know, getting started and manifesting, click the link in this episode description, or go to our website at Good mom'spad Choices dot com and check it out.

Let us know, give us your feedback, and we're going to continue to make you know, continue to create how to's on things that we like, you know, like the tools that we've learned because.

People ask us all the time, and like it's one thing to listen to an episode, but I know, even like I'm diving into audibles lately and sometimes I'm like sometimes I'm like, damn it, now I know why it's better to read books sometimes because then I can like highlight and write down, Like when I'm listening, it's hard for me to capture, so we've highlighted it for you.

It's true, I mean, and even to just like business partnerships, you know, like obviously like uh, physical things like houses and not that any of us are living in a mansion right now but soon, and like cars, and like businesses and like book deals those are things too. But even like love and your hopes of like where your mental health will be and your spiritual practice will be. Those those are all things that are like manifestival too.

I'm like, look at Pamela Anderson and Tolmily that.

From twenty years ago. She figured it out, Billie. They didn't last, but fuck it, someone is gonna meet me as rockstar as I am. And I was adamant about that shit. And even when I had so many friends like girl, you need to calm down. Oh you're not gonna find anyone. You need to be less honest, and I was like I can't physically, I can't do it. And and it's true, like even without like necessarily knowing how it's gonna come. It will come as long as you're secure in what you want and who you are

You know.

It's just like the consistency of no knowing, just expecting your blessings, you know, like I expect this to happen, and so I'm gonna put in the work and it's gonna come, and I'm gonna work on myself. Doesn't mean I'm going to necessarily try and change myself or water down for a nigga, because that's impossible, but I'm going to work on myself so when whoever comes, they're going to recognize the good that I have to offer, you know.

Never, I mean honestly, like I never thought that when that became apparent to me that that was a thing that people thought about like us.

And me and you.

I was like, oh, okay, well this is a life. This is not what I I didn't this is not something I anticipated. But having a show about like two moms smoking weed, well that and then people saying like, now you're unlovable, Now you're not worthy, Like I had other reasons why I thought I wasn't worthy.

It wasn't that this is actually my main thing. Are you sure this is the best thing about me here? You know what that's really?

And then I had to remember, like this is the happiest I've ever been. This is the most purposeful I've ever felt. Like fuck what you said, funk what you think? Okay, well, there was a morning that happened, like I there was like I was sad about it for a while, but then like I feel very much empowered in knowing that like the person that is for me will show up and be perfect for me, you know what I mean? And like it it's like even then when you show up as yourself and your mooth, authentic self.

You can't lose.

You can can't lose in love, you can't lose in whatever that you're passionate about, you can't lose in Like there's just the level of I feel like karmic blessing you get just from showing up.

Well, well, you have to think about it, like we're all like, uh, like divine creatures. We're all created like exactly how we're supposed to be fucking pandas panda kangaroos, can aroo in Australia, Like we're all of a certain like we're all like spiritual beings that were planted here specifically with purpose. I know if we veer outside of exactly who we are. If I'm a fucking kangaroo in China, bitch is not gonna work. My food is not there,

Yeah, I totally agree. I also think that we are also we are also I guess what I guess I'm trying to say is like we are still extensions of our ancestors and the people were influenced by the people that we are from, but we have to I guess in this lifetime being yourself, you kind of find discernment and the pieces that you want to take from those people.

Like I am not like my mother.

I have pieces of her because I am of her, but I have my own spiritual divine reasoning for being here and having I guess autonomy over my spirit in ways. And so I think that you take what you need from the people that you come from, but hopefully like you're able to like have the discernment.

And that's the hardest part, is knowing what is of you and what is of other people. I'm still figuring that out, you know, Like it's that's enlightenment, I guess, because I mean I'm not there yet, and even parts of you that are in spite of people, you know what I mean, Like, and I'm this way in spite because like I hated that my mom was this way. So I've done like the complete like the complete opposite,

We we do have.

The freedom to show up more as ourselves, you know, obviously look like the like evolution of women, like look, my whole thigh is out. That probably couldn't happen in a certain time. I don't know what era, but you know, I feel like it started there naked, and then it went well, and then it went back. So you know, it's true. It's true, but it's we're all influenced by this outside world, and it's important that you know you

She said, Oh yeah, it's gonna be much harder for me to find someone I don't know. Essentially, like I don't know, I felt like she was trying to say, like a sustainable man like one that's.

Like serious serious, But then then you tell a guy you're dating and he was like, that's true. Yeah, but that's the thing. That's what I'm saying.

Like there's been a level of like okay, like mourning that I've had to say like, wow, okay, someone that I love thinks that of me or of what I do that brings me happiness and joy.

And then and then and then be able to make it not hurt your feelings and then be like that doesn't hurt my feelings at all, or.

Make you self dumb? I like, is this too much? Am I doing the most? Can't I shut the fuck up? Could I spin this? Could I like, loo hold more? Could I be stressed out about this shit? Could I you know what I'm saying, like, and yeah, if anything, I just try to listen to my body. If it makes my body feel uncomfortable, then it's probably not for me. And whenever when I felt that, I was like, oh damn, like this is yeah, no, this is not of me.

This is a view. Be your own people, This is a view. So I feel secure in that. So and you have to and then that's a part of the growing process. If you're not willing to like say, hey, is this me or is this someone else and sit on it, you know, deeply, and like decide that's important. Most people just immediately if someone doesn't like it, they're like,

I just mean in general, And that's a question that most people don't really ask the person, and it's a defining question because sex really matters to people. And then imagine then amplifying that to like millions of people. Yeah, you know, like that's a hard pill to swallow. But it's actually now like on this part of my journey because I do have a partner that I know is going to be in my life forever.

I do. I do feel like I'm embarking on this different chapter of my life because now I like not that I needed a relationship to do this, because I was always I was already like obviously actively trying to grow and evolve and get out of like bad habits and like learn my trauma so that I could better

Going at we're about to leave too, and I'm like I'm about to be in nature, and I feel like I'm really tapping into like I feel like this year, I'm really stepping into that space of like wanting to be in that element more like just prioritizing like just even just taking like really being in nature, like taking my shoes off, even if it's in my backyard, like actually doing that and realizing that like I.

Can really retreat here if I want to.

And because I think escapism is something that I think I struggle with, Like I'm like let me just get out of here real quick, oh I'm queen of it, or just let me just go missing for two days an escapism, But I need that too. I think that that's important also, But what am I doing with my time during that time?

And yeah, I'm just well just like being clear about what makes you feel good and honoring that I prefer to be in the jungle half naked, you know, Like that's my preference. But like and then saying how can I make my life more aligned with being in the jungle,

I just feel like actively trying to find the joy and everything is the goal for me right now, and I'm really dedicated to that. And I realize there are certain elements that I'm learning in school that just it's just true, Like breathing, moving, like being still, sex, like all these things really make pleasure pleasure. Food is a way of life. Guess what breaking news.

Striking news.

And that's even in alignment, you know, Like we're in school and we're learning about like Tibetan tantra, but then we're talking to you know and studying Queen of Fua, the Sacred Woman, and then like this ancient African studies, and it's like, oh, it's.

All the same. It's all the same. The elements. It's the breathing, it's the moving of your body, it's the quietness. It's it's literally the most basic shit, breathe, move, drink, eat, be quiet, like like that is the medicine and it's and it's in every like ancient healing remedy and method and it's so simple and yet it's so hard. And that's when I noticed that, like with our tantra, like taking time to do that, I was like, this is crazy, how much I'm avoiding it? Yeah, I'm like, why am

I'm stressed, so I can't stop that to do that, No way, God, don't want to do stress.

Who wants to do that? It's true, it's true. So, oh my god, don't choose stress. It's like, don't choose violent. It's violence to yourself. Shirt. Don't choose stress for real? You heard it here? First, ah my goodness. Do we have a hoary? We do, But first we have a tarot card that you picked.

Oh yes, okay, so you guys today I picked the High Priestress priestess. Priestess bitch is hot, okay, and I am the High Priestess literally, I am the High priest Like that backup? Actually, Okay, intuition say cret knowledge, divine, feminine, the subconscious mind.

Yep, wow, say that again. You want to you want to hear that again, intuition, sacred knowledge, divine, feminine, the subconscious mind.

You know. But before I start telling this, I was just thinking about, like how Queen of Fuis talks about just remembering.

It's like a lot of these practices are just remembering, and it's true, it's not. It's like it's in our sacred knowledge, like especially as women, as goddesses that like create all things. The healing is like in our we know on a cellular level, and like we do ourselves such a disservice when we like totally ignore ourselves anyway.

Wow heavy, I've been like intuition has been a theme since the beginning of the year for me.

Like not doubting it.

I've gotten multiple messages about intuition and I'm pulling that really really like it's just a confirmation that I'm definitely focusing on the right thing right now in my life, and that's honing that shit like a razor.

Like that's really my.

Goal is to be able to really and that comes with knowing thyself.

That comes with like Queen of Fu's teachings of.

You know, the sacred woman and her intuition like the know or the healer of all things.

So I'm really I'm dedicated to to that. Well, that's our that's our femininity, is our intuition, Like we're fucking super women, you know, Like our intuition is our superpower and we forget to be in tune with it. But that is often going to save us time and time and time. Again, thank you Mahogany Taro for that reminder. You ready for the hurry, ready to get raunchy, get we're gonna go deep, but now we're gonna get Now we're gonna get dirt, huge dirty by Christina Aguilere and then get her hips.

In that video, they were like sticking out the side all I see our hips.

Why is that the only visual ad? Blonde hair and hip bones to the black ends? Oh god, it was really I love that shit. I was like, oh yeah, I like this Christina, She's fucking amazing. Yeah. Hmmm, So we.

Also found this Horry in our Discord. Guys, this fuck that I do this right. This episode's content is sponsored by Discord. Everyone in our Discord.

Knows this story. This is like a famous person in Discord. I'm not going to say his name because it's anonymous, because so if you want to, if you want to push your business in Discord, don't worry. I'm not going to tell it's it's anonymous unless you're in Discord.

Everyone knows the hory is a free range, right, It's there for this purpose.

Okay, I'm gonna tell you guys about this. This is from a male. This is front of our active males and Discord, and I love to see the fellows in Discord because there's men over there too. We have some private channels just for women, but you know, they just love a little testosterone and we bitches, and it's nice

You know, this was a while, he said, I'm chilling. So I'm watching in my pd blue. I'm my portable DVD player and I accidentally knock it off the bed. DVD falls out and rolls under the bed. I reach undergrad my DVD in a box of sex toys skids out into the view.

So nosy me. I started investigating because last night she kept trying to play with my ass and I got mad and tell her to chill you got a chill boom. I don't know how you say that in German.

No, Nit, it's more direct. Anyway, now I got Now, I got so many fucking questions, Like this motherfucker is a freak.

She had anal.

Trading beads, prostate massage, you name it.

Wow, he's discovered all this just leaning over the bed. It mistakenly fell under, so he had he had to investigate. Oh wow, Okay, hold on, damn, did I did this in order?

This motherfucker could have had an ass thrashing marathon and never had to use the same tour twice.

Wow. So anyways, I'm trying to figure out how to tell her I'm on to her shit and she ain't gonna get me. So later she I'm trying to tell how I'm I gonna tell her I've found out her shit and she ain't gonna get me. So later she comes home and I'm ready, right, I'm just trying to wait for the right time to tell it. But of course things don't happen as planned, because as soon as she gets in, we start going at it like cats and dogs. She's been waiting all day for that dick. Well,

Well she uh now she's obviously wait wait sorry, she persists, and finally I blow up and I'm like, damn, leave my ass alone.

I don't know that I am on that gay shit. So now obviously I was a bit extra, but she got the point she had to get an extra. I apologized and I left. So of course I got to tell my boy Kobe. I don't know if I was supposed to say his boy's name whatever.

So I'm talking to Okay, and I'm telling him, bro, this chick last night was trying to lick my ass and sticking a finger in it.

But I told her I wasn't with it. He said, what, don't knock her till you try it, Okay.

So I was confused at this reply, of course, because most men ain't open to anal play.

So after he signed off, that right is that right? That's a lie right. So after he signed off on it, I was trying to figure out how to tell her it's okay if she want to lick or play with it because my boy signed off on it. Not this is this is niggas. If you were a nigga and you ain't.

His boy signed off, so it's not gay. Okay, Okay, well now changes. I got one alibi that changes everything. I got one alibi, Toby said, Well, Kobe said, so you guys, it's not gay.

So fast forward. So fast forward to mine and her next encounter. We're making out and my slow seff is like, you want to do that thing? It's cool? Now you want to do that thing to me? It's cool? Now I can't stand yeah, trying trying to sound like I am gay while I.

Say it, Oh you want to do that thing?

All right, yeah it's cool. How do you not sound gay? Niggas? Okay? So anyways, she's like, assume the position, and my pride is a little touched, but I try it. Anyways, Shit, she knows what she wants, she sure do Okay. Shit started to tingle, and I was too scared to it to enjoy it. So I stopped her and I started to sound like I was going through puberty.

That ain't no play. Well have you hitten all those high notes? Anyways?

I right? Anyways, I left right after because I was a little ashamed, but I was curious by then. But I was curious by then and tried the toys next time because it was something about my ass whole being way. I just couldn't get used to. I feel you. So next time she tried the training anal beads and those things started hitting the G spot and I had to stop her because I was honestly afraid because if they're doing it right, it feels like you have to shit. And the last thing I wanted or needed was a

That shit last night when I got Poor baby, he's so tormented, I know, but I'm happy he wrote the story because these were literally the things that niggas feel this way, and it's like it's not real.

But anyways, a few more encounters with her, I developed a trust with her, and it got to the point when I walked When I walked in, I just assumed the sub position on my knees ready. So this time she used a prostate massager and I came over. It came over and over without my dick being stroked. So from then on I was game. Shit was so intense and it was such an adrenaline rush. Because I was always in control in my everyday life, I never knew how to give up control and be totally vulnerable to

I swear to you, I came so much, back to back to back. I cried like a baby. My God, she fucked me up. I left that night and was scared to ever go back. But ever since then, I've been hooked and I tried regular relationships, but I like that out of the ordinary relationships. So for me to ever settle down, I think I'm gonna have to marry a dom She doesn't have to be a total dominatrix, but she has.

To be able to handle my stub be dom. It's one of my top love languages. The end, and wow, I thought it was beautiful. And he said he's dominant seventy five to eighty percent of the time sextually, but that twenty five to twenty percent. He want what he wants. And I'm not mad at that. I feel that. And you can have a man who knows thyself, you know, and ain't afraid to ask for what he wants. Yeah,

Hey.

Yeah, he's like, don't knock it till you try it, and look, and he gave him permission. It's so crazy how we need permission to try shit.

Humans do humans as women do men do. Obviously, I think men probably even more.

For sure, especially from another man, because and even then sometimes not enough, because it's like men kind of validate each other's masculinity for sure.

Oh yeah, yeah, because it's about alpha mentality.

Well, this was a good episode. I really thank you the Discord Tribe because there's so much more of that, so much more of that.

There's some rich content over there. There's rich stories. There's really interesting stories, interesting people. It's like so cool to see all the facets of people all over the world just in one space and how they interact with one another. And it's such a safe space and it's a cool space.

And I know, I would think some love affairs are happening in there. I see friendships, I see meetups. It's just like, you know what it is. It's a tribe of free thinkers. It's Jamila's first cult. Stop.

Oh not, everyone's going to understand our sense of humor. We're just kidding.

It's our first culture. That's the first step. Come to the discord and think free talk about sex. Oh, my god, thank you again for sharing space with me.

I love you.

I love you too. I appreciate you, appreciate Oh we're supposed to have new segments this year. What is it You didn't look at my notes?

Hi?

I probably did. What was one of them? Should we do a poll and discord? Yeah? We should. It was yeah, I had a couple options. My god, yeah, let me know.

It was like, mom, shit, it was high thoughts.

I don't know. I feel like this whole episode is high thoughts. It is. At some point it became high thoughts.

Okay, well, now it's over. We gotta go.

I love you, WE love you.

Make sure you rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wait, I don't know if you can't do Spotify, but you know the places you can do it. Please do it and check out. It's not too late to join the retreat. If you're a last minute type of bitch, jump on, Jump on the retreat, come through, Come to Costa Rica. We're going February second and February eleventh and it's a motherfucking vibe.

It will change your motherfucking life. Come reset, recharge.

With a group of like minded women, us amongst a lot of other beautiful, amazing people.

And I guess that's it. Bye. Mm hmmm