Sex Like A Man Feat. Mike Johnson

Women feel like they can get away with more than a man can.

Yeah, and then it just don't look good like if a man is like if it may would have come out about that, Like the culture we have it doesn't support that at all.

That's true.

A man that can't comfortably say this bitch was really being inappropriate with me and writing anything like Nike A man up.

That's actually how I got on the show. That's perfectly how I got on the show. I know we spoke about a little bit.

So welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy hump Day family. How are you.

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good? I am I'm good.

Okay, great.

You know, I feel like as I get older, you think that like you do you, Like you get into motherhood and you're like I got this, I know this, like I can do it, and then there's always these

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

I just had a realization, what, Mela, what you are like now a married woman? You don't get breaks anymore. I'm so sorry.

You know you might be like, You're right.

I never equated it to that because I've all, like I've we've always been mostly single.

You listening to the show, We've talked tobout how married women are fucked because they never get bread. I ever get breaks, Like even when the kids go away, like they're still stuck with the husband or whatever the fuck.

There's just always someone in the house.

Even their self care day is like might get interrupted for some bullshit.

You're married now. I'm so sorry.

I think I think that's happy for you, but I'm very happy for me too. Someone asked me the other day, like about Orlando moving here, and I was like, well, this is the only way that this works for me. I was like, no, I need this, I need to be he needs to be here. It actually makes me a better person. But also it is a shift because the other day I watched a movie alone and I was like, this is so great. I just laid on the couch. I was like, wow, I haven't done this

I don't know which one. It must have not been that far away.

Because probably was the Great Depression.

Every time somebody wants some of my shit, I literally just want.

To or the Great Famine? What was it?

Some of the potato famine.

I'm a great time that there was not a lot of food.

There was a lot of those moments. But I every time, I'm like, why am I so annoyed by this? I I've just come to the conclusion that there was a time where there was scarcity of food, and so that's why I'm triggered every time still. But I think just not just being a mom or a wife. I think it's really just being a business person as well, and just I just want to lock myself in a beach for like thirty days, to lock herself in a beach, yeah, like just leave me alone.

Good on.

But I think it's just me getting older too. I think as I get older, I'm like such a friendly bitch usually and I'm like I'm ready to do this, I'm ready to do that. And now it's like thirty five year old woman. I'm like, remember the time we had the Human Design Aaron on and she was like, you probably need to live separately from your husband or have your own room. And I was like, that bitch knew me. I don't want to live separately because I'm

I got.

I'm obsessed.

If anyone has not yet, I've been putting everyone on to this documentary.

It's called Love Winds, Love Love. I think Love Winds. That's why I said they stole it from the gays.

Love has one the calls.

One the cult of Mother God.

I'm not finished with it, but I do want to say it's a cult of this white bitch who's like basically trailer park trash who started getting to spiritualism, did ecstasy once and then people started coming to her cult, which is crazy that it was that easy. But which really really got me is that there were two black people that I saw. But wait, let's rewind. Because she was not trailer park trash.

Yeah she I saw her. She came from a well to do family.

No, she was working. She's a manager at McDonald's.

Baby, that's because she needed a job. She was like a teenager.

Then now she they struggled with money.

Trailer park trash is a stretch.

I don't think I'm the end of it. The bitch was trailer park trash. Listen that can that's up for debate. Mind No, white bitch, she looks like chili park trash. She's about to starve me and tell me what to do. I just don't. I can't imagine me being ever so hopeless and desperate for that. And it just was like, it's really a deep dive into the psyche of hopeless people, and I'm really obsessed with it. But it's also like scary, how like sad people are that they would just go.

Well, she just went to dinner one day with her family on her birthday and then said fuck you guys and went home.

No, she said I'm leaving, and they thought it was normal, and they came home and all her shit was gone. She had three kids, and literally she never came back. She went and found her father god, one of her many father gods, and started a whole cult in which people paid her for readings, and she spread some bullshit and that she had a galactic team that consisted of Robin Williams.

Donald Trump, Marilyn Monroe, and Tupac.

There's a lot of people in there that those were the main ones that I was just really wanted her to get more into the Tupac, but.

Never into that.

Fuck. I'm not done with it. I need to finish that tonight. That's actually gonna be my like, leave me the fuck alone, be silent.

We're watching Mother God right now.

It's so good.

I want to I want to remake it as a spoof, and I want to play the black girl who was there, because I.

Want the one that like never spoke, because I only saw her in like the surveillance video.

The surveillance one Black Eye. I really want to.

I really want to ask these niggas, what in the fuck happened to you for you to be here with this white bitch, because this is crazy.

Anyway.

Anyway, Sorry, don't abandon your family like Mother God and go start your own cult. Although you'd be a great cult leader, you know, I saw I saw traces of myself and her too. She was like looking into people's eyes and telling them how great they were.

I'm like, that's me.

Well, the whole thing was about pleasure, like it's so pleasurable.

Nothing's bad.

That's bad.

Alcohol, cigarettes, weed, it's out's all medicine. It's all medicine if you use it intentionally. But then she was witch, was a raging alcoholic, but she was using it as medicine. And they were like, for most people, alcohol is medicine, but for Mother God, it helped her channel for the pain of the world. I saw her be Robin Williams when she was on alcohol. I was like, bitch, you're nuts. Yeah, yeah, please go watch that.

We were not on HBO Max. If anyone has any trouble finding it.

If only, if only they were sponsoring this this, I really wish they were. If anyone works at HBO, call us or Netflix, I'll watch more TV for you. But anyway,

I'm great, I'm good to be here with y'all. This is, like I think from my audience, for me to be here is really cool. I've never done something I felt so comfortable right now.

So perfect, you look comfortable.

Lean him back and shit, we'll be friends. That's my songa brother. Wait?

Wait, and can I also add to the introduction because he is an author, he is a sex coach.

He is an the sexologist.

Trump's the sex coach.

Sex coach, sexology for sure? Okay, can you be both?

Do you do so?

Identify as both?

It's a sexology, it's a sexology. Sex coach was cool, but you know we've upgraded that title. But I appreciate it.

So wait, when you were a sex coach, were you helping people have better sex? Is that what you were doing or I.

Mean that's a part of it. I think that a sexologist is just a greater version of what a sex coach what I was doing. And so as a sex coach, if someone needs to have someone desires to have better sex, someone desires to have more sex. It was mainly I would say as a sex coach. Where I did was conflict resolution within relationships, and of course sex was always a part of that. I loved it was fun. That was amazing. I want more of it.

So how did you go from?

For those of you who are watching on YouTube, you might be looking at Mike and be like, why does he look familiar? And if you watch network television then I don't. But if you look, if you look at him, you might say him just really closely, might say he was he on the Bachelorette?

Was he on on ABC? ABC?

Well, let me see you, let me see your demographic, and I'll tell you they know who I am.

People don't really knowing exactly when.

I go to Atlanta, when I go to Dallas, the might know who I am.

I only know that because I looked on your Instagram and I was like, this niggas on the Bachelor, He's famous.

How did you wait?

First of all, how did you Because we're gonna get into all the sex, but I'm very curious, how did you get on?

How did you? Why?

Why you never watching?

Mike's a very handsome man. There's only like two niggas at our school, and the bitches were flocking poor Mike the whole week at school. I was like, oh my god, I need to save him. You know, you're in the club and you see your friend like say something like that. I'm like trying to wink, like save me. I was like, oh my god, if the bitches don't leave Mike the fuck alone. And I was like, this feels to be a tall, handsome black man because I feel bad for you.

I mean, isn't I think that women have it more?

So I know it's gonna say you don't you experience this girl? The bitches are aggressive, they don't have no yeah,

Hell yeah sure, and then it just don't look good like if a man is like if it may would have come out about that, like the culture we have it doesn't support that at all.

That's true. A man that can't comfortably say this bitch was really being inappropriate with me and writing anything like Nike, A man up.

That's actually how I got on the show. Tell us that that's perfectly how I got on show. I know we spoke about it a little bit, so I was, uh, you know, they say when he get his heart broke. It take him a long time, like he really loved the girl. I don't know if it's true or not what it did for me, And it took me a long time. And then I was over. And then I was you know, I did him a little face, uh horrible stories face her face, whole face. And then it was like I just was ready to be married. I

I was like, I went from hoe into I'm a husband.

Well, it was never really trying to be a who. It was just all about or you know how you know I'm for real? Do you know how boring it is being single and not being bad?

I resonate with this, believe what our whole show is about about being a hoe and then saying, actually I want to be a wife.

About five years that was fun, but now three hundred and sixty five times five, that's how many days it took to realize we wanted to be wives.

Hey, we were there, you know, turned on and I said I'm a wife today.

I mean that's what life is, just a bunch of errors. Right eras as an ear So when.

The husband switch turned on, you said, I know what, I'm going to join the bachelor.

No, so like the husband switch turner. I was deployed in the military, and I remember I was like talking to guy one day and I was like, yeah, I want the hard road up. And I was I think I was twenty four at the time, right, yeah, I think if I was talking about twenty four year old homies, I was like, nah, bro.

You want the hard road up. You mean like you want to like really work hard for love?

No, meaning, Like, I think a part of the issue with a lot of dating culture today is that we'll swipe right culture and so therefore, when shit happens, you could easily leave that situation. That's what I mean by hard road up. Like, actually, to be honest, what hard road up means is working on your own shit. That's what it means. In comparison is just.

Like just backing out, backing down the moment.

Yeah, it's a little and like blaming shit and like you know that all that stuff that people will be doing. Okay, So that's what I mean by that.

Wait, so tell me how you got on.

Oh my bad, my bad, my bad bad. So I was I was at work, I was the financial Levisa.

I don't say that you had had enough of these hoes. They just wanted to fuck?

Yeah.

Wow.

Ever, No, that's one hundred percent false. Like you know, you know how Drake is on his.

But what made you feel.

Like they just wanted to They were like text you late night, they were like sending you news. They just weren't hitting you seriously. They weren't like engaging in serious wifey conversations.

No, I think they were trying to get in serious conversation. I think that that that's that's just what they wanted at that time. Okay, So I mean, yeah, I was just I wanted, like, damn, can we like go on a date or some ship? I don't know, like, like can we do more than just fucking? Like I don't want to feel like a piece of meat all the time?

That it was I really I really enjoy hearing a man say that way.

So then from there they then your friend said you should join the Bachelor.

Hell no, He was laughing his a off. He was like, what man that can get pussy? That ain't no girls around would say something like that. He was so like just perplexed, dying laughing at me, like forever. He just couldn't get it through his head. He was just like, why would you say that, bro, you because he's not I don't want to talk about the helmie.

Right there, but he ain't getting pussy, like you.

Not there yet?

But okay, yeah, you know what I mean. He wasn't there yet at that time, right, this is years ago, and so he was just dying laughing at me. And then a few weeks later he sent me, like a who even goes on Facebook? No more? A Facebook message and it was like applying for the show. And I was off work that day, and you said, I was like, yeah, it wasn't even divine Tommy.

It was just like it sounds like it was off work that day you had time.

He was looking for love, but I wasn't, like I ain't I was looking for love. I was just like wanting the real thing, right. I think when we say looking for love, we think about like you out here searching and shit like. It was just more so like I ain't got time for you. I ain't got time for you. I gotta work on myself. Like if you come through, then you come through.

Had you watched the show at that point?

Never?

Okay, never?

I never I heard of this show.

I was like, there's mostly been only white women.

It was zero. I watched zero episodes, And at that time my life, I didn't know who Chris Harrison was. He's the goat host of the show, right, he was doing it for like twenty years or whatever.

But has it been around twenty years?

It's been around since one.

It has been around that long. We're in high school. The fuck.

It has been around since O one. But no, I didn't know. I mean I knew it was a white show because it wasn't in It wasn't just in my circles, right, That's just how I knew it was a white show. But I was why not?

Were you like one of two black guys or something on the show?

Maybe three?

It's a good question. I think. I think after the first day it was like four max five of us, And I'm talking about that includes have black guys as well. If you have black and you I'm including that.

How long did you How long did you last?

You guys sexology? How long did you last?

Mate?

I got sent home. There's a thing to call hometowns to where they go like to your mama house and they meet your people or whatever. I got sent home the week before that.

But you you opted to go home?

Right?

No, tell you inside scoop.

They they I got I got sent home. Yeah, I got sent home.

He got sent home, Jamila, Okay, mouth, Okay.

His mom told him, don't come home. No, who can't use my comb? And so he didn't go home home home, like, don't said, don't bring up black, don't no girl home, she can't use my comb?

Okay, So okay, I got it.

Don't bring a non black woman home. Let me translate.

Well, you know, you know what I find if it's curious about this to me? And you know, how how old were you when you were on the Bachelor one?

But it is kind of.

Like swiping right a little bit because it's very based on like what you look like at first, right for.

The lead person, the male or the female like the bachelor bachelorette for them a bit more so, I mean, maybe they have.

A different mentality going in, like they're not they know, they're not just looking for someone with looks and there.

I mean, I think about it like this, like if I was ever a bachelor, if it's thirty women, right, I'm only going to be sexually attracted to probably for y'all max, probably six, right, unless they ask me exactly

You did that one too, I did.

Yeah, Peanut Gallery over there.

There's never been a black bachelor.

There has Yeah there was, yeah.

One time in twenty years. Once in twenty years.

Yeah, once in twenty will be in twenty twenty four, once in twenty three years. Yeah, it's crazy.

I can see being a Bachelor.

I mean it's it is such a phenomenon, like I like the kind of loyalty these contents, like as you as a contestant, and like the Bachelorette, like the fans.

There's like such super fans.

I mean there's podcasts literally just just about the Bachelor, and they kill it, like they get crazy.

He listened to Black Girls One Road, shut Out.

Yeah, yeah, they kill it.

Like there's such a there's such a huge market.

I think at one point that show, that franchise was the second biggest unscripted television show in America behind Shark Tank. And so yeah, the show is huge. I mean going to other countries and getting recognized is pretty cool, Like I never thought that would happen. So it's a big show.

So then from there, how how did you get from there into sex coaching and wanting to be a sexologist and like, were you always interested in sex?

And like, yeah, I mean not, Okay, that's a stupid question. Were you always interested in I guess coaching, coaching, leading in the sex industry.

So what's funny is that I remember I was in I was eighteen, and I told my homie shout out Jay caused me. I was like, bro, I'm thinking about, like, what if I became a doctor of sex. I really I remember saying that at eighteen. I was like, look, I'm gonna have money, my wife gonna be uh good, she gonna be feeling good because I'm gonna be sexual. What it would also have a mindset to understand some things from a mental aspect. I said, well, mama gonna

How old were you when you lost your virginity.

I don't think I've ever said it.

Eleven was a girl older than you?

Yeah, significantly.

What's significant at eleven? Like yeah, so yeah, she was four.

Nineteen, w we gotta go find her.

That's not that's that's pedophilia.

It is okay, is your nanny like a girl in the neighborhood.

But I remember when I was five years old. Yes, women do stuff too, for sure. When I was five years old, my babysitter, like yeah, like fondle. It was like I remember, I was in Germany, were playing hide and go seek, and I came upstairs and she was naked on the bed and like, so yeah, there's definitely moments that I think helped me to become a sexologist, to understand and to work through my own emotional wounds, and to really I got into the field, like will

Yeah, I'm really happy that you just, you know, called

Even if it's not just like that, you know.

And I think it's just such a it's so fucked up that we live in this world that kind of makes it okay for boys to like have these these sexual experiences with people significantly older than them, and they don't really we just don't really talk about it as what it is.

I think that's a part of the issue right there, is that we in our society talk about how niggas ain't shit, and I agree, niggas ain't shit a lot of the times, right, But what we don't hardly ever talk about is that at some bitches ain't shit either, and so like, but that aspect, since we can't have that conversation, right, A lot of men just compartmentalize things and just put that down. But women do the same thing, put stuff down, compartmentalize fawning, right, and so therefore you

I can't help but think that like because I too, have met a lot of men that have been raped or molested in their childhood and they won't.

They have a hard time calling it that.

And I think, I wonder maybe you can shed some light on this because I'm not a man, but I feel like rape, well two, I to have to say that out loud somehow that becomes part of your identity.

Emasculating.

Yeah, words matter, words matter? Where's matter? Right?

So Like I'm wondering if it's that word in particular that doesn't allow men to really acknowledge. I mean, I'm sure it's more than that, but I wonder I'll so if that word, in particular, as it pertains to a man, makes them feel like we weak or like, ah, that's not what happened. I can't relate to that. Well, and don't get raped, But think.

About the word rape in general. I'm gonna have to put a trigger rinny on this episode, but just in general, even for women.

I've been raped, and it took me a long.

Time to say that that word, particularly because it felt aggressive and not that it had to be a part of my identity, but that that was too heavy of a burden to put on somebody. Like even if someone has forced themselves on a woman, a woman's not gonna

I don't think it's just like an automatic thing, like you're born a man, you're born a woman, therefore you

To the feminine and the masculine.

Yeah, to be able to be a nigga. Don't mean like that don't mean you are not hard. That don't mean that you were queer of some sort. That just means like you able to speak on your shit and then stand up and stand on that. Right. I think that that, I think truly that makes us stronger. You feel me like we talking about what strength? Did you mentioned the word weak mealer? Right? That makes you stronger? Male or female? Right?

So, like growing up, I'm curious about your upbringing and

Not at all, I would say. I remember one time I think my mom called me looking call me looking at like a Playboy magazine of some sort, right, and then she got mad at me or whatever, and my grandma was like, at least he's reading Never.

Okay, Granny, I never get that.

Shut out, so you feel me?

And then not at least he's reading the pictures, Granny, you know you feel me.

It was words in it, but uh, you know what is a wreck? Right? You know you don't know if we talk about the country were talking about, and so like, there wasn't I remember mom when I was like eleven, twelve thirteen, maybe she sent me she gave me a pamphlet of like how to look at your testicles or whatever it is, make sure they straight. And that was

Oh no, ye.

Would you say there was like one six?

Because I feel like, because now you work in this space and it's you know, like tantra specifically, it's it's it's like for a straight black man from Texas, I'm not being a what do you call yourself geographically discriminative. I'm just curious because like that's such a I don't want to say it's not a wild practice.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Foreign It's not.

It's taboo. It's not traditional for a black person period. We think anything outside of Christianity is the devil.

Yeah, Buddhism, Like, how.

Do you go from not having you know, any sort of like guidance per se then to this space like was there? Because a lot of times I do find that men that are sexually explorative and very open usually there's like that one partner that like bust them open and that one woman that like opened them up. Was that is that the case for you or was it kind of just like a journey of like an un like um blossoming.

I don't think nobody had to bust me open.

I was just I came out, for lack of a better word.

I came out ready. But yeah, I didn't have that experience the work I was with somebody who just turned me out per se.

Well, I wanted to turn you out, but just like opened your mind sexually for you to just be open.

No, so like I'm not I'm from Texas, but I live around the world from from child up right living in Europe, which definitely opens your eyes up. And then as a young man I went back to Europe and later for five years. And so I grew up Christian in Black Church. But I think one of the dopest things that you could do is explore for you and be authentically you. And so my grandma and I just

I'm like, you mean like your grandmother.

Yeah, because like.

She's telling you about her partner.

No, I had to like open it up right because she we don't have that relationship, but she respects what I do, and I respect her as a human and a woman and a sexually liberated individual. And I was like, well, don't you want him to last longer? Don't you want him to be able to know what to do and

I was more so saying like, you know, I know the practices that you guys are doing in Tantra are like, you know, if for someone who's not who hasn't begun to kind of journey into that's would be like.

What the fuck are y'all doing over there? You know I think this, I'm sorry that cuts you off.

No, I always say, it's like level from where we are is like starting off at level.

Ten and I and I would say, and I told Erica this too. I'm like, I'm a pretty open bitch. You know, I'm pretty open as a you know, regular listener may know. But there were points in this process where I was like, this is very interesting because it is it's lineage based. We're learning like practices and meditations that are thousands of years old, and it's very foreign.

If someone if I like, you got to ease.

People in, but like I what I really like, Well, there's only a handful of black kids, like students in our cohort. But also like I think that me and Mike have talked a lot a lot about this, but even back to what we were saying about the masculinity, I think that there's been like a heavy cloak over society's eyes, particularly for Black people because slavery. But there's

And there's also for men.

You have to be able to cry and acknowledge your issues and like all these things and be self reflective and that's actually a masculine man. And to have control and discipline over yourself, not to cheat, and to be faithful. And niggas are so men. When I say niggas, I mean men. Just for those who are just joining us,

I'm pretty sure Geez probably fucked around.

He was trying to get with fucking me along. I would be too, he said, let me get in this.

I would be too.

I don't see it.

I want to say something to that.

Don't want you to finish your thought yea, but okay, my thoughts be long.

Yeah, I know I get long winded.

I get high.

That's the problem.

So I just think that.

There's this huge, this huge confusion in our culture and even for women too, thinking that that's what masculinity means. Or if fucking Drake paints his nails yellow, he's sassy or whatever the weird shit you know, you wear this outfit or you wear the man person, like that's the least of the everybody's work, Like how are you holding down? How are you holding me down? And how am I holding you down? And I just think like it's the balance of both. We both have to have equal parts.

What never, no, whatever.

But the point is.

I had a very weird visual when you're saying.

When we open up this flesh box.

All these words all flash box.

Yeah, this is a flashbox. Essentially we're being just a flesh suit.

Flesh suit. I got that.

I got that from somebody. It is though essentially we are we are, we are souls just utilizing this body so we can touch and feel in this lifetime, you

But I just think, like if.

If you just take twenty minutes to just have common sense man or woman and you're like, let me just be better, Let me just be better. Let me just be a good person and respect the person I'm with and get to understand the other opposite sex more, just because that's a part of coexisting in the world. Then you kind of want to evolve, and you know, like that's just like it's just like a white person benefiting from white privilege. You know, like some white people just

Know they benefit from this system that exists.

Okay, sorry, I was I was like, I was just gonna speak to the fact that I think that at times men actually do want to be expressive and their feminine talking. When I say fit, I'm spickly talking about strictly talking about expressive of emotions emotions, right, you feel me, whether it be sexual emotions or angry emotions, you feel me, or sad emotions. But you know these stories I heard, I mean stories I've seen myself and from the homies that when they try to speak to their women, or

What do you think women can do to support their man's vulnerability? More like what I'm I'm hearing that, like, you know, the mistake that women make is you know, like because sometimes I probably have been part of this because sometimes I don't I have this well. He was kind of crazy though, but I didn't understand his emotions, so he would cry and be like, what the fuck are you crying for? Like this doesn't make any sense? Are you manipulating me?

That answer?

But but I probably did cause him more trauma because of that. But but I didn't start it, you know, I didn't.

Start I just added to it.

Okay, but I didn't start that trauma to crazy from the beginning. But I but I guess, uh, yeah, what is what can a woman do? Maybe if maybe like someone who's listening right now, maybe they know, like, you know what I did shut my man down? How do I fix that? How do I what do I do to make a man feel safe?

Like?

What is what is elementary that maybe we don't get as women.

If a woman were to say to her partner after after kind of like coming at him for showing his emotion, I would say, for example, not when he doing his thing, you feel me, whether that be playing the game, watching watching the game, or doing whatever the case right, but like tone, timing and turf matters, and so I would say, you get that out the way, and then it's like, hey, beg I felt I felt weirded out because I haven't seen this before, and so I did this whatever this

So I should get off the dating app.

I ain't say that now shit.

Evolved people need to be with evolved people. If you are, that's a.

Good dating app.

Claim to fame the Tantric dating app evolved evolved people.

How do you vet them?

When you say, have y'all talked about that? When you say tantra like how you got to like decipher this ship?

You know what I haven't, because you know what I

This is not that type of thing.

It's a practice that is whole encompassing and tech teaches you how to like use pleasure as medicine. So I mean I don't I I haven't really like led with it's not solely sex, but I probably should start.

That was great.

I love the way you spoke with how do you speak about it.

Healing? I say that all your biases that you have, all your conditions, that you have, all your uh, the way that you see the world, we help to to erode that and get you back to your full self, your fulfilling yoga, you know, I say, yoga of us, of nervousness and regulation.

So what you have to do to get on the Evolved Dating app is first you have to complete me and Mike's course. Complete the course, the ninety day course. You can be then vetted into the system.

And then yes that's a good months bad choices, of course you I got that.

Then we need to look you in the eyes, make sure you're not fucking nuts.

Only come here when you want to do function like just start for the first five years over on Hinge like me and Erica did, and then when you're ready and you realize there's nothing out there, you can come over to the Evolved that I.

Definitely wasn't on the apps like that. I really wasn't.

How did you meet your girl?

My homeboy actually hollered at her at the club, but she stood up and like her height kept going to his height and.

Stop, You're like, get out of here. No I was.

I wasn't even there though, and so like he tried to like this is what I was told sold from both of them. He tried to like dance with her whatever, and she said she tried to spend, but she couldn't.

Like, oh no, she had a duck.

Up, you know what. She was like, you nice, but I can't do it. And so then you know, he put me on.

So this was later. This didn't all happen in one moment in the club.

No, this was, like I guess, in a weekend. He was.

It ain't gonna work out somebody on the date.

He well, that's beautiful. Look at that. I love one man can do that for one another.

See, I think, so I do, Like I think that we showed in our own ways you feel, I mean, yeah, we do. We can get a lot better though.

Yeah.

So I'm single and I I'm still learning how to date properly because I don't know what that means anymore?

What tips do you.

Have how do to date properly?

What tips do.

You have for someone who For me, I'm celibate right now and I don't plan on having sex, but I've been having like these really interesting interactions with intimacy, but not like physical intimacy with someone where like I'm in their energy and we both obviously share like this attraction to one another, but we're not acting on it, and so it's like kind of like building this Like I don't know, it's like.

Energy between us. But I guess my question is like.

How what is not? What is? If I'm what is like you're being celebtate right now and then having that energy building? How is that coming true in your life? What do you feel is coming out from that?

I don't know.

I feel like I feel like it's healing something in me that I felt like was like taken from me in ways like that I don't actually have to give my body to someone in order to I don't know, like feel intimacy really like to feel and I wouldn't even say love because I know that, but like it's more like this intimacy that I felt like my partner lived across the country, so there was already like this gap in our intimacy anyway, and so like when we were together, like I craved it so much, like we

Know, when you're away from someone for so long.

Like so I'd had these like really intense moments of intimacy that felt like otherworldly because not well because I think we also had chemistry, but all so because of like that that longing. And now in this situation, it's kind of the same, but it's healthier longing.

You know.

It's not like, oh, you're not here and I'm longing for you, or like, you know, are you cheating on me?

Like and I'm like I need to be near you. You know.

It's more of like a I don't know, like building some sort of like safety around the intimacy.

That's good. I mean you feel comfortable with that. Y'all going It sounds like y'all going into your space.

No, no, no, this is not my pace. It's my pace right now.

You're trying something new, Okay, that's what it is.

It's been good.

It's been challenging, but it's been fulfilling. Like I don't have any big desire to change to like move faster or forward, you know, I mean, but now I lost my train of thought because I had a question about dating, and now I don't know what it is.

You know, I think it's in New Year and you're still in in How do you call it cuffing season while your girls been out of the game a long time?

How do you call it cuffing season?

She said, it's still cold?

And I think that.

What I hear like people are tired, you know what I'm saying. And I think women are confused. I know a lot of sane, sexual, cool, successful single women who genuinely deserve like good partnership, you know, like this is my wife, so we go together, you know, basically minus sex, like basically everything except sex. And I think that what women for women who are trying to date. Seriously, what do you think or like five things men like women get wrong in dating?

I think that, like how you just explained y'all's beautiful relationship, I think that when you are in an intimate relationship with a person, like the person that you love, like in love with, I think that person has a unique way of pulling out the emotional wounds within you. And so I think it becomes different with that person versus like y'all as friends or home ever the case, whoever the relationship may be. So I think that it's different

I think I wonder if, like, do you think that women who are like very forthcoming about what their intentions are, is that like a mistake that women make? Because I feel like that's how I've led in the past, and I don't know if that's served me or hasn't served me. I don't know, Like I feel like because like niggas will lie and say, yeah, I'm ready for a committed relationship, So like does it even matter to say that or

How do you feel about that?

I think two ways. The first way, it's like if you're a salesman. Right, let's say you work I used to work in Dialer's Ladies shoes department. Right, I've done a lot of different type of sales jobs, right, And as good salesman, they're going to pick up on what you want and they gonna know how to pivot to

You guys been partying all day.

You're like, so listen, I'm like, only dating intentions as a woman, I've had I've had niggas tell me that on dates and immediately I was like, oh, nigga's crazy.

Like even if I was into.

It, I would immediately run. Orlando said this to me one time, one time around mushrooms. We have known each other like a pretty good amount of time, and he was like, what are we doing here? And I was like what.

I was like, yeah, that's not a good time.

Though it wasn't a good time, but also like I I I think I have issues with commitment in general. But also I even met Steve harvey fucking book where he told everybody terrible advice as if he's a master of fucking dating. Whoa, and everybody took it and he made millions of dollars. But like he's like, tell someone

Like that's the Yeah, it's the intention.

Like the attitude, you know, your last name, like, oh, that's a mistake that some woman make, because I feel like I feel like women have been fed that information as well.

Steve Harvey, which I don't know why you took Steve Harvey's advice.

He is not the dating master, but.

Neither one of them because she's dating his ass he weren't to pay for years.

I just had a realization they are trying to make Lori Harvey like a dating.

Expert, aren't they? Have you been seeing this on the internet?

It just all hit me because she's a regular, are they.

They're like I've seen like a few place to her.

She's smart, she'd go into sex ology.

There's somehow they're like changing the narrative around, like because typically a woman, especially a black woman, dating like multiple celebrities in like a period of like two years, she'd be a hoe. But Steve Harvey ain't playing that ship with his.

Daughter pr Campaign.

Well, I think that they have crafted away or she has been smart in the way that she's talked about her relationships where I don't know if you've heard anything she said. It's not like she said anything like profound. She was just like, you know, if it doesn't serve you, like don't don't stay or whatever, like women deserve to be treated like goddesses, you know, Like that'sic shit. But

Because Steve Harvey coined himself as a dating.

Expert, which I don't know. That's what I'm saying. The bitches who went like listen to him, like the same thing with the Kevin Samuel's nigga, you have to question, why are you asking this man for this advice if you were asking seeking Like, I know we need male perspective, and I know we have vastly different perspectives, so I understand having insight on each other's perspective, but also like why, like certain people just can't give me dating advice because you're not even on my level.

And I think that's where women fuck up too.

Is like even for us, women like us who talk candidly on the internet about sex, have a lot of fun and have cucumbers in people's mouths at live shows, and it could be depicted a lot of ways, and I think for a lot of men, it's intimidating and there's a label that it's associated with a certain type of woman. So I know, like I'm not gonna date a regular like a pastor. You know, he's probably not

Mom theme about watermelon going.

Into I'm high.

I was like, well, you could break it up, cut it up evasicially, just won't let it go. That's her.

You won't love me, will respond to me.

No watermelon lobido trick. Put cut up an entire watermelon and put a coconut water in there, you know, like mix that up and blend that up.

He really believes in this because he said this to me.

Man, it makes you like horning watermelon coconut like not.

Just the deray apartment, Like, get get up in there, you feel me. Yeah, get the green as well, get not the green outside. I'm something the white the white white. Okay, interesting, ladies, Well, I mean here's things about that too. You gotta stop.

You gonna stop what coming? You stop ejaculating.

It's to stop ejaculating.

Yeah, doesn't mean he gotta stop orgasm, just separating that.

To preserving life force energy or right, you don't come.

I didn't say that.

What the fun said, I.

Recommend the ship and not do it yourself, because I.

Do do myself, but not one hundred percent of the.

No, I just twitch.

I'm trying to hear what you. I was trying to hear you. I was talking. I wanted to hear you. Could you. I want to make sure and say what.

You said, when you have sex with your girlfriend, you don't nut every time? Like if you can not, I don't think you're like I know, sometimes you just don't. You know, you won't nut, But like, do you intentionally not nut at this point in time?

Yeah, of course he's a t Yeah he does nut something I doesn't.

I do, I do. But then there's also tons.

Of word what does that have to do with him?

I'm he's talking about like that men should preserve their nuts.

I'm asking if he does that too, Like, if that's what he's doing, I'm.

Saying, as a man in this practice, he's absolutely not nutting one hundred percent of the time he's having sex. Okay, that's a part of the practice.

Yes, okay, I'm asking him because you're not his penis.

I mean, I'm his song at Sisters.

I know exactly what he's doing.

I know his practice, I know what.

He knows, so I know he's not Mike's my friend. So we've spent a week in fucking Mexico talking about strange things like preserving life for his energy.

Yeah, I say about the time, Yeah, I was just asking because I was curious to know what Mike's answer was going to be.

I you know, I think that if people feel like they hear that it feels so appalling to not nut because even me, I have a breeding kink I want to see come and I think like it's so it feels like alarming, Like what do you mean you don't want me to nut? You know, like I think men, I think that's like something has to like slowly, slowly like put on somebody, because I think everyone's immediate response is hell no, yeah.

I mean well, I think that everyone also has different practices and how they practice tantra. Some men, like I think about Sting like he was one of the first celebrities that really started talking about semen retention and he wasn't coming for years, like so I don't know how long, Like how deep in the.

Practice are you? Are you not? That was my question, like are you not nutting at all right now?

Like because some people like that that's what they do and they preserve it for whatever it is that they're waiting for that.

Question speak is like are you really are you really doing your practice over there? Money?

That's not what I was at now.

That's why I was like, why are you attacking me.

In tangent words?

That's like you're not No.

I was just asking because like I don't know, like everyone you know, in any practice, you go through phases where you're.

Doing that intensely. You're just sprinkling it into your practice.

It's not it's not a phase. It's a part of life. So it isn't an error, It isn't a chapter. This is the book. And so there are times to where I definitely do ejaculate, but then there are times of where I don't, and so and so when you.

Do that, when you do ejaculate, it is like even more pleasurable.

Right, pleasurable, stronger, more in general semen. But then depletion entiedness is even more.

So you feel more depleted as you've practiced it more.

Like because if I'm going like, let's say I go at right and then really ship but you out it out. No, So like if I go thirty days without and then having lots and lots and lots of sexual activity, like it's different if you don't have no sense. That's why I look at you that way, because the question is so multifaceted if you're talking about individual that doesn't know, but also they're not having sexual or activity a lot, that's completely different versus someone who has a lot of

Women need to not do Women also need to practice this now because we don't ejaculate, so we're not like, so what it requires a band to create? Semen like that the life essence, like literally the blood, it's imagine, it's it's to make, it's to procreate. So it's taking all the best from all of your organs. And so it's depleting him every time he does it. But for women, we don't nut like that, so it doesn't it's not the same thing. But it's such a it's such a

Wasted inside me for no reason.

But yeah, but it's it's a deep, deep spiritual practice. And I think once you understand the spiritual side of it, then like the sexual side automatically evolves and like grows.

I feel like I've learned a lot today. Guys.

I'm happy that he's here because I'm trying to talk to all my friends about it, and they're just like, I'm like, it's medicine.

No, we just gotta start appreciating. And then they just be like one day they gonna come at you and be like me, La, something different, it was goodie, And then and then their ears are opened up.

A little more. I'm passionate about I'm passionate about it.

Mike.

Do you have an affirmation that you can share with her our tribe?

Do have affirmation to share with the drive les ask our guests?

Then maybe you have something that's I don't know, maybe trick, maybe or maybe not.

Okay, It's simple. When you ever have a thought that you don't like, or I thought that you've been on, you've been holding off for too long and it's not a good thought, just have positive thought, positive speech, positive action. There you go. That's simple.

Positive thought, positive speech, positive action. Good mine, good one. I like that we pulled a card Okay, I think I've gotten this one recently.

I've got that with a lot of trauma. Okay.

It says heartbreak, emotional pain, sorrow, grief, hurt.

That's right, that's what I pulled it?

Was it upright?

Mic?

Maybe this is for someone in the collective. Well. The three of the words turns up in a taroor reading, it signals that you are feeling deeply hurt and disappointed. Your heart has been pierced by the sharp blades of others hurtful words, actions, and intentions, and they have inflicted intense emotions of pain, sadness, grief, and heartbreak. These events are unexpected and come out of the blue, making them

I think that I have a fifteen step process to becoming the main un becoming, and I just finished three steps, and so I think that that is the dying of that owed me and growing into the new me.

Yeah, I mean not even then, it's just being this time of the year, but I feel like I resonate

It was.

It was. It was like there was things that happened that woke me up in ways that were super necessary. And so I just think, like, maybe you're feeling the same way.

Yeah, I said, I think when you talk about your friends, they'd be like, bitch, what the fuck? Like when you talk about this stuff, I think a lot of people

Where you know.

I'm just Mike Johnson.

Was speaking about Deep Tantra and sex. Did you bring a horri for ust Mike Johnson?

Mike Johnson, I know you have some.

Horror coming to the stage. Mike Johnson. No, I think we'll be our stripper in Dallas.

I mean that in the best way possible. Don't be offended.

I mean it's the name of a star star baby with me.

Do I got a horror story, a horrible story?

No, it could be good. Some horror stories are good.

Oh yeah, yeah, horror story. Mm hmm. I'm glad it's me and not my homies up here talking about me. H what horror story do I have? Horrible story? Do I have? There was once a point in time in my life when I was at a certain location, uh, when I was way way younger, that like it was really bad because it was like a group of women that took a picture. There was a certain percentage that I had relations.

With they were all in one picture.

Yeah, multiple times in that period of my life. And so yeah, it was a horrible story. I said that the most discreta you took.

You saw a picture and you had been with most of the women in the picture, like.

A group of friends.

Yeah, but it was just like a thing, and so I had to change that. It was a period of my life. I'll say like this as I'll say, it was.

Two years of my You're getting very I'm trying to decode what the you're saying pouring outside close girl friends.

No, So, like I was in I was in Portugal at the time.

Particular location, I was living.

In Portrage at the time. I was on a military base.

Okay.

Uh And it's only like six hundred people on that base, okay. And so therefore, you know, if you're obviously cut down from that the people that fet your group, obviously, I mean, it was it was just bad. It was like it was just a lot it was running through the base. It was like a lot of it was like a lot of.

Percent Is there a lot of sex happening on military basis?

Hell?

Yeah, it's like it's like.

Es, yes, yeah, it's people that get deployed.

Oh my god, that's like the perfect a lot of only fans, people in the army that are like you can get maybe like they put I don't know, masks on or something.

Wait, am I the only person who ever considered that there's crazy organs.

It's like it's a bunch of boys and girls on them, like a camp camping out together for months.

Okay, it is not just like that.

There's always some there's always some dark ship that happened too to the women, like there's always some strange there's always.

The more men than women. I know.

So I don't know that even seems like a good environment.

Honestly, a lot more especially in the Navy.

I don't think it's hard to have, you know, had your pick of the litter when there's mostly there's not a lot of women, and I would assume, right, you.

Know, this is the elevator version of me. I'm not going to even respond to that.

You really want to say the old me want to say something, but I'm yeah, I feel like you have more better horries than that. But I'm gonna let just like be shy I'm excited.

I'm gonna have to go on Patreon and really spill the tea, all.

Right, patre So it could be thirty thousand less people in our business. That might be better. Well, maybe we'll do a little after dark real quick. Thank you for coming to hang out with us, Mike. I'm so happy to finally see you in the United States. Right in civilian worlds usually at a tantric.

Buba Mosquitos and.

Writing a lot of.

That sounded weird, But tell the people where they can find you.

If you care to have a conversation, or care to have something to say, get it off your chest, or just have some advice, you can go to filling scene dot com. We have a newsletters to where you can write in and we have experts in the field doctors, clinical therapists, and sexologists to respond to you.

Amazing and you guys, you know where to find us. But more importantly, we're going on tour and we have some shows coming up and we're so excited to bring our Confessions of a Good Mom to you.

We're going to.

Philly, Dallas, DC, New York, So, Charlotte, Houston.

And there's one more.

I can't you said for DC Philly, Philly, New York at Atlanta, Elena.

So make sure you click the link in this episode description. Get your tickets before they sell out. It's going to be sexy, we have surprises. We're gonna be there. It's gonna be fun. Bring your lover, bring your partner, come alone, find a friend, join our discord, make friends there, because that's how a lot of the tribe connect before the show. They link up in the discord and then none of them know each other. Then they all leave as best friends.

And is that it?

That's it?

Love, I love you, Just move me hop.

Elana j Solo Bala record the Lalos and Elasi. They asked, hmm,