Porn & Parenting

Think like the inside of your baby pink behind our love that doors crazy, pink like the tongue, like goos down, maybe pink like the parrot as well. Think when you're blushing inside baby pink.

Is the truth you can't I Hey, guys, welcome back. This is Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and.

I'm Nila, and we are really excited because we have two special guests that we were lucky enough to get on Good.

Mom's Bad Choices and I've been.

Looking forward to this for months. Yes, we've been plotting on you, so please welcome Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noir.

Thank you for having us, of course.

The bomb ass parents, King and Queen of Kink. What's your title? Tell us your your handles, like your instant handles and stuff. I'm at jes sitting Jasmine pretty much everywhere at King the Walk.

So we're really excited to have them because not only are they in the kink industry, the adult film industry, but they're also parents.

They have their little baby. What's your baby's name?

Majesty here, I'm like, wait, I don't know the baby's name.

Eight week old Majesty is here. In the next room, and you know we let the kinky parents.

Sure do.

And I it's so funny because Jamila was actually the one that put me onto you guys. And this was like before I connected with him, Like, she was.

Like, have you seen them? Have you seen them? Look how amazing like their lifestyle is. They are so open.

And I was in Florida and I happened to connect with him on like an app and.

I was like, give me, look, this is the same person. I was like, it's consense. I was like no, And I was like, how am I in Tampa? Does he live here? I'm like, what the fuck are you?

Of course.

I like you am.

I Also my followers know that I'm like the Queen of Tinder, is the queen of But I've retired recently.

I'm kind of back on. But I have some bad experience. You have the best. I have the best experiences. I mean we have them here.

No, it's true, You're right, Tinder works very well for me for people who are looking for sex.

Actually, I'm sure I had a lot of BDSM session.

Book of sessions, you know.

But when I when I when he when we were talking, I asked him because I knew I was like, what are you doing on here?

And he's like, this is how I get a lot of my work. What is BDSM.

Bondage, dominant sadism, masochism, submissiveness.

Okay, we're going to ask there's a lot of ways that it's broken down.

We're going to ask you that a lot because even though we're both freaky parents, our terminology is not that on.

So educate us please. Yeah.

I'm really excited to be educated because we were looking up stuff and I.

Was like, wait, what the fuck does that mean? I was like, we don't. I want to know. I'm asked that.

But yeah.

So that's how I connected with King and I was like, please can you be on my podcast? And here we are.

I was like in June, yeah, and she like he said yes, yes, I manifested this from Instagram when Instagram works in the fa for us and we didn't have the slide in the dance.

So how did you guys meet just like this on the radio show? On the radio show?

Really?

So you guys are both just happening to be on a radio show to get this.

So I was hosting a show called The Emotion Picture and we were doing a show about behind the scenes of porn, looking at how people and porn have relationships or don't.

And he was the guest on the show, and so, yeah, how long ago was that.

It's like.

Like that, oh cool, Yeah, prior to this relationship, had you ever dated anyone in that industry.

Or were you in that industry? No? Neither, okay.

Oh so the podcast you were on or the show you were on, but I didn't have something to do with that particular episode.

We kind of just explored all things relationships and love and yeah.

So he was on that show and Cinnamon Love was on the show.

His segment was pre recorded, so I was like driving across the bridge in Tampa talking.

Interviewing him, had no idea what he looked like. Really, you were just like just oh wow. Yeah.

And then when the show aired, we had to find a picture and you're like advertising, Okay.

I'm right, I'll do the follow up on this one. I'll do this further investigation. Thank you. Are you guys both from Florida, No, neither one of us. I'm from New York, what a Queens.

I'm from Jersey.

Okay, so I'm not even far from each other. No, but I've been living in Florida for a really.

Long time, and he's a newcomer down there, so you were already out there in Jersey.

Well, yeah, I was. I was in Jersey. It's funny. I knew one of the other hosts for over like ten fifteen years, and at the time, Jasmine was working on building her own company, doing parties, teaching pole dancing, and I was doing a Rody Touch massages and working doing my own parties. So they kind of was like, hey, we should we work together or something like that. That's that's kind of what started off.

So prior to that, you weren't doing like there was no film.

Oh no, I was. I was doing for.

I was doing that, but it was at the time I was I was more focused on I have a company. It's called Central in the War and it's based basically like when women go to like male strip clubs or whatever, they're usually created by men with men's perception of what they think women want, and it's usually what men want to do to women instead of what women want to experience. So I created Central in the War as a company

In the war, and it just became as yo, that's King New War right.

And it was basically based on when women want to go out and let lose have a good time. You know, if men want to go out to a strip club or like a massage parlor or something's boys will be boys have a good time. If women do it, there's all this judgment that's that's attached to it. And I wanted to make a company that was just like women can go out have a good time, enjoy themselves or within the privacy of their own home having a right

You don't have to just show up and someone's like no choice, you know.

So you know, that's kind of how that started, and we both looked at what each other was was doing. It was kind of like, yeah, we might be able to put these together. And that's how we came up with fantasy flight parties.

What better way to have a woman's perspective than.

To thin and the same thing that's what was happening with my events is that we would all the women would be sitting around saying, like, you know, how do men want their dick to be?

So like I don't know, yeah exactly, you know, questions like that, and like, you know, well communicate with your partner, but I don't know how.

And so it just worked out that, you know, we would be doing these parties and King would be doing erotic touch in the back. And then when we had a question that we really needed a men's perspective, which the answer usually was every man is different and women had we're having a hard.

Time realizing that.

It's like, oh, no, all guys think the same way, but when they would actually hear it from a man, it's kind of like it's sunk in a little bit better. So yeah, they believed him because he had seen this, Yeah exactly.

It's almost like a double standard, like women lost when when men kind of know women are a little bit different, but women we think men it's just it's a pussy, just put it in or or you know, like there's no no nuance, right exactly in that way.

So that's what we created the party and baby I think.

I think at a certain point also, I had stopped doing films and doing webcam stuff as much because I was doing work in the community. So then people at the parties would start to be like, how come all porn is with black focus so stereotypical and it's just trash, and it's just like they would pick a pick it all apart and just say, like, why are we always treated this way?

Why do we never see black people kiss on film?

Why is it there's no real kinky stuff with black folk unless it's also racist, you know what I mean?

It was, Yeah, that's true.

There are like it lacks level a lot of blackborns, or you see a lot of interracial It's.

Like, yeah, it's true. I've never even thought about it, but you're right.

Like I see a lot of like beautifully shot porn with white people and not ever with black people, or if it is, it's usually black on white ryep.

Yeah, it's never.

So would you guys say there's like discrimination within the porn industry.

Or absolutely on many different levels.

Have you guys experienced that personally, like, and that's why we have royal Finnish films. So that's just exclusive your ship for you guys.

And we both we both shoot with other companies if they contract us to work for them. But it's like we get to turn down all that discrimination or the racist or the stereotypical shoots because like, we can make what we want. So if you're not making something that's coincides with who we are, then we could stay away from it.

That's interesting because I live in the valley, so I know a few porn stars myself, not just any like educational as you too, educate educated, yeah, or that too. I was told one time that a lot of times women or whatever people will shoot and then they'll get the footage and later they will never they can't say anything and won't be informed of the titles of the film.

So what we're we've been touring the adult industry for people of color. We've been doing that here in the UK, really educating not just performance but also consumers of exactly what you're saying, kind of like consumers can help break up that break up these stereotypes by asking for what we want to see. But a lot of times, like you said, like I didn't even think about that, we don't know what you know, it's just what's given to us.

And we think like maybe maybe.

Black people that are imporn don't want to shoot SA see stuff, and that's not true. It's just that the opportunity isn't available. And then educating performers on going through that contract, Like so for us, we were you know, we won't sign a contract unless we know exactly right, and if we can't have it exact, then we'll say, you know, no derogatory terms, no racial play, like all of those kinds of things. And they don't have a

Right, No, it's true. It's like this doesn't work without me.

I never know.

It's kind of almost like I hate to compare it to football.

But like, but I think about that, Like, you know, I'm like, y'all need to just quit because they can't have a team with that, right, Okay, just like you guys, like, we're definitely the robot dog root.

Dog is going crazy.

Literally, I see it looking it freaked if that shit freaked me out. Earlier I was cooking. I have a robot dog that well, what does it do? It's like a real dog.

But no, it's my my my my stepworld is like a real my stepdad got my daughter that for Christmas like two years ago.

My daughter's three, so now she's finally.

I just found it yesterday and I was like, let's like busted out, and she's been scaring.

The ship out of me all day. I don't know how to control it.

Like look, Tamilla, she's like, I'm going to turn it on. It's going to find the charger itself because it's low. I'm like, oh, I'm got a house break. Yeah, I love you, motherfucker off.

Sorry anyway, going back to what you said, I mean porn.

We're literally sexual sexual athletes the same way football players expected to perform on the field. We're expected to perform on film a lot of times. You know, there's a lot of a lot of jokes within the industry. It's like, oh I get to the bed today, you know, not like jagged Rocks or fall, you know what I mean, like all these all these crazy places, but you're still supposed to make it look beautiful.

And sexy and all this other stuff.

But I mean, we within the industry, you run into just as much racism as you run into in everyday. Like you know, porn is just the microcosm of the larger society. And unfortunately, we live in a country where racism is pretty much widely and openly accepted. So it's the same, it's the same thing within the industry. I was working for this one Uh well, I didn't actually work for them. I was booked to work for this one company, and basically they had never had a black

So I was like, you know.

That they're out of touch, out of touch people, they're in touch, it's.

Not And they tried to play it off like oh no, no, no, it's not like that. But literally, going through every single one of their scenes before they ever had a person of color or male of color on their site, was always everybody was either an orderly or a doctor.

And I personally like doctor in the war that has a.

Real nice I thought it would be very nice, you know.

So actually what wound up happening.

We wound up one of the times when we were actually out here in La we shot with a really really dope company called PARAPERB and collaborated with them, and we were both sexy demented doctors and that was actually that that was actually one of one of our very popular scenes. So you know, it shows that people do want to see black people have sex in all different roles.

You know what I mean.

And that's the funny thing.

It's not like, you know, we were going to be getting all deep into neuroscience or anything like that.

We're gonna.

So it's just like so crazy that somebody can't see past like black man doc, like you know what I mean?

In their fantasy.

So it's like we we still just as a society, have a lot of work to do, and I think that that's one of the things that we're doing through porn.

You know. It's like in every single aspect.

Unfortunately, when you're black, you are the first black person to do X, Y and Z, no matter how crazy it might seem or menial or whatever. The however, people kind of divvy all the work up, but you're still going to be the first one.

And as the first one is a whole lot of shit that you got to take for it.

But owning your own and putting out positive images of yourself in ways that you know people can reflect and it's like yo, to be able to bust your nut and not have to feel racism at the same time.

SS Like for real.

Yeah, that's I mean, I appreciate you guys, because I didn't.

Even considered that.

So I'm happy that you're enjoying the work in that industry because it is definitely racist.

Even I'm just I don't even I'm not even a huge masturbator or porn bowyer, but like now that I think about it, like going thro those categories pages, right, I don't see this ship. But yeah, that's a big job.

I do watch porn, and it's so crazy because you know, like we're both pretty pro black, but I've never, like, I don't know how for some reason.

My brain like doesn't go there with porn. Like it's just you don't think.

I don't think of I don't get outraged, but really I should be, Like, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, Wow, there isn't a lot of like black love and porn. There isn't a lot of like, you know, people in powerful positions and porn, I mean, like playing people in powerful positions.

Because it's in our regular media too, right, right, So how yeah, it's almost like you accept that, but I also but I feel like it's in our regular media, but I feel like we have there is.

A there's in a shift, and there is been recently, Yes recently, of course there's racists, but there's the racist film more comfortable being racist than ever at this point, you know what I mean. But I just mean like there's powerful there's women that are in powerful positions.

There's black men that are in powerful positions more.

So than there were twenty years ago, for sure, And so it just just it just it just dawned on me that I never like equated that to porn.

Like I just kind of like, oh, well, torn, I'm not even thinking about.

It, I think because porn is still one of those markets that you know, there's there's shame that some people have actually like there's aspect of it, and so like, literally porn is the only industry I can think of.

And we talk about this in our in our in.

Our series, like you can literally show up as a director and be like, I'm not working with any black women today.

You can literally say that on set and they be like okay, you know, and rock with it.

But if you work for I don't know, Viacom and you show up and you say that shit, you're gonna get fighting.

Yeah yeah, yeah right now.

True.

But is there nobody there's no like policing and porn or how how does that work?

But it's when you think about sex and you think about how like even going back to what you said, like about about athletes, about how the black body is perceived and how it's devalued and we're just a vessel. So it's like sexually we're a vessel or black man is usually perceived as this dick that's there to please a white woman, even if it's the white man watching that black man please that white woman. You know, Black

Women, you know what I mean.

And usually the black women are extremely disrespected. There's this one where they like put Confederate flags on them, you know, So what's wrong with these black women?

Oh my god, trying to check and turn into other God damn.

So it's like if you if you have an industry where that's where that's widely accepted and people look at it, like even if people are like, oh, well it's a joke, you know, like that's that's not fun, you know.

What I mean.

So so let's talk about just what you said, So what's wrong with these black women?

Right?

When you go to a set, sometimes you don't know what you're shooting, right, and then like you said, there's there's a contract you know that you have to sign. But even I say, you get all the way to the end and then they drape the Confederate and you're like, well, no, no, not doing that.

You have to pay a fee for killing that shoot probably reached the contract, you didn't, right, And so if you're just just you've just performed all these sexual things and then at the end they're like, and we won't pay you, so you're gonna do this.

No, and you're gonna pay us for wasting. So not everybody is in the industry because you know they one is like you know, for us one it's enjoyable too. We want to bring a different look, a different feel. You know, our intentions aren't solely financial, but if like if that was how I had to take care of my family, This is a part of my budget. The shoot is in my budget, and now I'm gonna be under like I'm just gonna maybe hope that nobody sees it.

Scenes that degrade us or what have you.

It's a hard choice to me because you feel like you don't have a choice. I almost like you're I'm sure they make you feel like, well, you're not going to work again anymore, or this or.

That stories about like bull jangle, so performers in the Vaude field circuit where you were black and you still had to wear black face if you wanted to perform and sing because you love to sing, right, you know, So it's unfortunate. It's like I meant, you know, there's so many rappers that if you actually spoke to them, be like, wow, are you smart as hell?

I graduated college and you talk like that on the record.

Every other word is nigga is nigga at which you have an extensive vocabulary, but you know that's what white folks want to hear, and that's what sells.

So that's what you do.

That's going to cut you a check for Yeah, that's unfortunate.

That's that's the and that's why I say porn is just a microcosm. So it's like things that we have to confront on every single field of play or you know, we don't get any progress anywhere.

So be good consumers if porn, purchase it, if you watch it, and you know, if there's a company that you really like, just ask them, email them and ask them to see black people doing other things.

Or you know, like I really love the quality of your shoes too.

It would be great if you and you know, wherever your fantasies can take it.

About that, I want to do that here. Okay, So I have another question.

So obviously you guys kind of met in somewhat in this industry already, Like, how does that affect your relationship? Are you guys like to have an open relationship? Are there insecurities because of it? Because of the nature of your work? And how does that? Do you have rules around your because like I know, I've seen like stuff with you and her and you are and other women. Do you uh like have played with other men? Yeah? Do you guys have agreements surrounding that or how does that work?

So we we met in the industry, so that that's one. It's like, you know, we're not going to in some form of industry, and we've I've developed like my role in the industry through our relationship, so that's not an issue. Our work stuff, And we also came into our relationship me exploring different styles of relationships, and King was already established as polyamorous, so no surprises there.

And this is your first polyamous relationship. It is too, you know, it's really interesting.

I think I've been kind of in living kind of alternative lifestyles within monogamous relationships for a long time, but never knowing like what was happening or what I was missing, or or even.

Thinking like gosh, like I'm going to be with this person forever. Okay, yeah, I.

Guess I could do it, you know, but thinking those thoughts were really really natural for women to have or just for people to have, like you know, oh, this is just like maybe cold feet or something like that. But then meeting him, meeting other people in lifestyle experiencing different things that I was like, oh, you know, no,

So for me, I don't really consider myself polyamorous.

I don't have that yearning to love lots of people in a very very strong, intimate way. I am more like to play with other people and even more so to work with other people. I get totally turned on by the fact that we make money being with other people.

So that's kind of like my big thing. And can you can explain yourself better.

Then I definitely get to turn on from the money aspect as well. But I've been Polly ever since I was probably as far back as I can remember. I was never the jealous type, and I kind of always go back to this relationship I had in high school where my girlfriend she was exploring primarily with her bisexuality, and she was kind of like, I don't know how to tell you this or whatever. I was like, go, I'll have one, do you. You know what I'm saying,

And I've always.

Enjoyed getting to know new people, and like just my capacity for being able to talk to different people or manage relationships has always been more vast than other people.

I know.

The swinging stuff I got started with real early, because I mean I got involved in this industry when I was legally able to do so, so since I was eighteen, So I was kind of like, not that it was just like all just poured on me at once, but as different parts of it open to me, Like I really my first real experien instance where they was through like cuckolding, which.

At the time, you know, you're like eighteen and you're trying.

To I need to educate me, please care listeners.

Cut holding is when a man likes to watch his wife with another man, got it. So there are different levels and extremities to it, though, like sometimes it's because that man feels inadequate.

Sometimes it's because.

That man just really likes watching his wife be pleased, so sometimes they'll join in.

Sometimes they watch from afar.

For me, it was primarily because like I've always just been very dominant, so it was more like men who wanted to be belittled or humiliated as I was with their wife.

So you know, I got my.

First work in the industry doing that, and that kind of led me into the BDSM stuff and the bondage and dominance and submission and all of that, and at the time, like trying to explain to my friends who are just kind of like you know, doing the basic eight trying to get a nut, they to do that too, though, scared the.

Ship out of them.

When told, they were like, what what do you mean? That doesn't make any sense to me?

You know, is that my dog?

Again? I think you might need Okay, I'm yelling at your dog. Your dog has his name is Chip? Guys, okay, appropriate.

Robot dog holding them past.

Jackson video back. Remember she's like in Tokyo and she's like, no, no.

I didn't have Are you sure it's not Michael and her the world?

Okay?

I don't know. Sorry, I'm pulling that ship up on Okay, okay.

So that brings me to another question, because I had this conversation with somebody briefly over the weekend. It was somebody I didn't know, and she was kind of young and like immediately when she made the comment.

I was like, eh, never mind.

So I don't know if I don't know if I was like I had to go back because I drove up north this weekend for like two days, and I drove back. I had a client up there and my best friend was up there. But I don't know if I was mentioning like I'm interviewing this really cool coup blah blah blah blah, and I was like a friend with a friend, and she basically.

Made a comment about, like to the effects of I.

Feel like certain people, oh, like people in the porn industry or like sex industry, something's wrong with them. They have something wrong with them. They you know, like they've experienced some type of trauma.

Trauma.

Obviously I'm not in the porn industry directly, but it immediately rubbed me the wrong way because I've always been a very sexual woman, even as a girl, Like I remember, like, I've always.

Like, I've always been really open. I love people.

I love like, I just genuinely love people, doesn't matter like man or woman. But if like souls connect, they connect, and that could be on different levels intimately, like sexually, like attraction has a lot of different you know, that's true. So I was like, for a brief moment, I saw myself like getting irritated and engaging in conversation with this like twenty five year old girl.

But then I was like, I don't need to say that. I'm not ageist.

I don't know just say they like like say it because she's twenty five, but you know what I mean. But I was just like, not necessarily like, I understand where you're coming from. I do know a lot of like strippers who've had a dark past. They a lot lesbians who maybe have been like had trauma. But that's and you know, some people are comfortable in what they do, and that's.

Just how they choose to explore.

You know, like, just because you're not comfortable with it and it makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't necessarily make it feel like, you know, doesn't mean that there's something wrong with everybody who has, you know, a sex positive perspective?

Do you, like, have you how.

Do you deal with people who have like limited and closed minded perspectives or you know, label you you must or like or has there been some stop or something that you think, like directly because for a long time I have close ass friends who would tell me like, I mean, you know, I was my twenties. I probably was fucking way too much for no reason, but like, you know, like maybe there might be something wrong, maybe trying to fill avoid I.

Don't know, but at least I considered it. I was rationalizing with myself.

But being like the like socially, you know, there's there's there's judgment, and there's labels put on people who who are sexually comfortable and.

Even with my closest friends even until now.

I sometimes I try to explain to them certain experiences by because I'm like, this is a good story and they're like, oh, you know what Jamilla's you know, maybe you need to look for relax and sit and meditate. I'm like, this was my choice and I wanted to do it because it was fun. So like how like because.

I've literally had to sit with myself and be like, has anything happened to me?

Do I need to have like avvolation and if needs something, I've like harbored deep down in my toes that I can't remember, and that's why I'm this fucking But like, what's your experience with that?

Like, so let's talk about this. So my background, I'm a therapist, Okay, that's right. Yeah, I'm currently practicing on licensed practice.

So you're practicing justine like with sexual like sexual not everything.

Okay m hm.

So from you know, general anxiety to serious trauma the whole gamut. People have trauma traumatic experiences.

You know, in general, there are.

There's no high propensity in this industry, In that industry.

You know, it's I mean.

That person's been here really drawing a picture with a really, really, really broad stroke. There are definitely people in the industry that are probably more open to talking about their trauma because you will find that in this industry people that have traumatic experiences have used porn or the sex work to empower themselves to take back control of their sex, sexuality, things that may have been violated as young.

Adults, what have you.

But don't I don't know what the rape statistic is or the sexual assault statistically with some like, you know, like one, let's just say, like one in ten women have had some type of sexual inappropriate advance towards them. Not one in ten women are in the porn industry. So and again, don't take those numbers. I'm just kind of drawing, you know, drawing a picture here that just as many women in the porn industry are just as many women at your local community college that have, you.

Know, had some type of trauma.

So to suggest that it's just wrong, But you know, when we do talk to and I do a lot of therapy for people that are in the industry or in the lifestyle because they feel comfortable like they don't have to they could tell their good story, and I'm like, yeah, like that's a good story, right, and you know, they'll say that being in the industry has allowed them to have sex on their own terms or you know, the things that maybe they were shamed about, uh, you know,

I'm assuming that you're gainfully employed, your children.

Are well taken care of, it look beautiful, your skin looks, but you're taking care of yourself.

So that that number is so arbitrary is just like placed on you by society.

So I think that people have that idea that people who have more sex or people.

That are don't care, you know, don't care.

What people think, something must be wrong with that. And so I think that's where that idea comes from. But without a doubt, you know, Just like if we were saying, like, well, accountants, I hear accountants, you know have high levels of sexual side like yeah, you know, and there's must be something wrong with them to want to play with numbers all day.

Nothing that happened to them when they were younger, you know.

But as far as my own experience, I've definitely have and it's sadly I can say, like most women have had some type of inappropriate sexual contact, advanced non consensual sexual event that happened to me. That's not why I went into the industry. I got into the industry after what I was well into my thirties. I think those traumatic events have shown themselves in other ways.

But I've been, you know, as a therapist. I've also believed in going.

To therapy, So I've handled that stuff the way that people should, kind of a tree additional model. And I still find porn in the adult industry and adult entertainment to be exciting and fun. And I don't feel like I'm drawing on it based on those experiences or because of those experiences.

I mean, I agree with you one hundred percent. I think if.

If you looked at it like everyone in our industry, like porn does not have some sort of like lock on people who've experienced sexual trauma. You know, if you just look at people who've experienced sexual trauma and all those people are in porn, there'd be no one to watch it because we'd all be in it, right, you know. It's it's unfortunate that people do at the same time, you know, like what we come to now know is.

Like slut shaming.

Usually it's because they themselves feel that they can't get out of their box or they're ashamed of what they do behind closed.

Doors, and they're like, damn, I wish I mean, I really throw it down.

I wish I could do it on camera too, But you know, I don't have that confidence or my family or how I look at myself will change.

So, you know, I don't think that there's any more.

But I definitely agree with what Jasmine said that there are so many people in our industry who are comfortable in their own skin that they're willing to share their story because they feel like their story can help others.

And I think it's the same with most artists period.

You know, like if you speak to people who are musicians, they're willing to share a lot of traumatic stories with you because they're in touch with that part of themselves and also look at what they do as art as a way to overcome their.

Trauma, celebrating even for us this podcast, the first thing I asked for, like, bitchalla, honestly want to be you know, because we are moms and that's a whole different thing like your mom. You can't hate that way. You're not supposed to have that much sex, you know, and there's like all these like especially for women and moms, and you know, so I've found that through like being honest

But another question, because I heard you say.

Wait, I have a question, because I don't think we got to get to the question that you actually asked them before, which I'm interested in, is when we talked about you got your guys's relationship, how do you deal with do you I mean, I mean sure.

I'm assuming, I'm not assuming. Let me just not frame the question this way.

Do you guys experience any sort of insecurities and how do you deal with them? Like what are the rules of your openness? Do you like, if he came home after having like sex with somebody else, do you guys talk about it or is it just like, you know, what happened and we're going to take a shower and go to sleep, take a shower.

We're so different, and I think that we're both very different in the opposite.

Way than people think.

Yeah, like if.

If she goes out with somebody, I'm like, oh, give me all the details, please, you know, I mean, it turns me on, you know, like especially I think also because like especially when we first started, because this was something like a lifestyle, I have been living like I'm like vicariously living through her first experiences all over again.

So I'm like, yo, what happened? Like, YO, tell me all about.

It's like, I don't want to tell you, but you know, I mean, we do have certain rules that that we set, and those rules can change over time in one.

Way or another.

You know.

The main one that we have is being open and honest with one another, even if it makes the other one of us uncomfortable. I think one thing that I always say is that jealousy is a natural human emotion. Envy is dangerous right. And it's funny because there have spend times when Jasmine has been with other people sexually, and none of it has remotely made me as jealous as when she had this friend and they went to the gym together.

And I was rich.

I was like, but I want to go to the gym, though, Like, but you don't go to the gym until nighttime, and I like to work out in the morning.

Like if.

Hey girl, I'm terrible at five in the morning, I'm still up from the last night, so I shouldn't be at the gym.

But but that's true.

It's just like the things that can make us jealous of somebody else, we always make it like it's this sexual thing and this that and the other. Like I love when she's pleased, whether it's through me, whether it's through someone else, and it doesn't always have sexual sex isn't the only things that thing that pleases us in life, you know.

So I just love seeing her happy.

I love knowing that she's content with life and living her best life like that. Legit makes me happy and that's what I want for her, because that's what I feel love is to me. Love isn't like you gotta do everything in your life with me, or that shit ain't worth nothing, you know what I mean.

Like that, to me, that's not love, that's control, you know exactly.

So it's like when you when you do get these natural feelings of jealousy, like we're all going to have them, whether you have an open relationship or you're completely monogamous or whatever different levels you have, but usually it's about your own ship, and mine was like in that situation, it was just like I really enjoy working out with her.

She's really she she pushes me, she tells me like, yo, your foremost off and ship, you know what I mean.

Like she's good like my boys don't care about that, you know what I'm say. So Like in that particular situation, I was just like, Okay, well, you know, I'm not waking up at five in the moment, you know what I mean, Like, that's not gonna happen.

So maybe she'll help me in other ways.

And it's more about myself than something she's doing, because it's not like she was sneaking off to the gym with her friends, you know what I mean.

So no, but I mean, to me, this.

Is always a good example when I speak to people who are like, yeah, I want to try an open relationship or my first three soon, or this or that or the other, like you're gonna have a moment where you are like, I don't know, you know what I mean, You're gonna have that moment, but it's like, how do

You know what I mean.

I mean, yeah, I get jealous, but it usually has nothing to do with him and has nothing to do with the other person. It is because of something I'm not doing. So like maybe a couple of times if like he like went out on a date and I didn't have anything to do somewhere, Yeah that's I mean, And I'm like, well, why.

Do I care so much?

Like I knew he was going I don't feel I don't feel like my relationship is threatened, but it's because I'm bored and like this is who I would hang out and you know, so so it would be you know, reasons like that.

So it's not it's definitely not an insecurity.

I don't think that we could be in our relationship if we didn't have confidence in ourselves and each other and in the relationship. But you know, there are some people who don't really want the best for our relationship or don't understand open relationships, and that kind of can get that can get a little annoying and taxing. Sometimes you know, we won't we'll see it for for the

So like told you that this was being funny.

But you know what the nice thing is is that he'll come and he'll say you were right, you know, and I saw it for myself and the same thing with me, Like, you know, he'll say, like, don't you think it's a little interesting that this person you know didn't say hello to me, like, why would you do that? We are, Yeah, we're a unit. It's obvious, we've discussed this, but they try to throw shade. So those type of things, you know, people get really focused on, like what about us?

Sometimes the external.

Factors that are a little bit more challenging than just like he and I think about, you know, our relationship.

I think like at this point, I've always believe like fool's fall, you know, like if you stand for something, if you stand for love, you stand in that relationship, like you'll be able to work through anything because you're standing on a strong foundation. And our foundation is strong. So it's it's way more like it's funny people have a less of a reaction to me being in porn, then they do it to me being in an open relationship, you know, like they but like and not even that

Okay, that's what people probably.

Think, like, No, but I'm talking about people who are interested in one of us. Usually those those people, they before it ever even escalates to anything of worth, they already shot themselves in both feet and both needs because because they're like, you know, just as Jazz said, like maybe a woman is approaching me talking to me, but you don't speak to Jasmine or they.

Won't say like like how is she? Exactly? You know, how is your day? How are your kids.

Care about all around them? How's your kids? How's your mom?

Again?

And we don't we don't lift each other up, And so I probably I would assume is that a lot of the women that maybe approach are you know, it's kind of like a competition to them. I feel like, oh maybe I could take him. You know, it becomes like does he really love him? Let me test the limit, let me test him to see if he'll stand for her.

And that's but I.

Think, no, exactly, I think, of course, like because I think we did an episode about open relationships and just the idea of ownership, and people want to own you, and they just can't understand that you guys don't own each other, but you guys still love each other and you've chosen each other, and it's just like I think, it's just it's an interesting.

It's an interesting idea, just a lifestyle.

Because even for me, like I I came, I was in a relationship for seven years, and throughout those seven years, I wanted to have sex with other people, and I spoke to him about it and it just never came to be. Later to find out that he was having relations with many people, and I was like, well, damn nigga, like I told you, like and now I don't want to do that with you because now I don't trust you.

I can't imagine also.

Bindly and jealous, but that's I'm I'm jealous, but I'm not probab jealousself.

You didn't have someone liked good lie that.

But I can't even say that though, because even with my last situation, I just was dating someone else. It's the first person I've dated since that relationship, and we have had a very open relationship, Like I asked him, have.

You have to someone?

Yeah, if that's someone cool, and there was no argument about it. But for me, I really enjoyed that.

But I also realized my e how attached to my ego I was, and like I was like I would I would get it would hurt me a little bit. But then I was like, well, I'm glad that I have a choice, Like he's not robbing me of my choice, Like he's telling me what he's doing, and I can either choose to stay here or I can choose to walk away. And I realized from that situation that I have to kind of lead every relationship at least for me like that because I want to confront my jealousy

It reminds me of when we were doing when we were doing our parties all the time. I mean, we still do fantasy flight parties. Make sure you book on everybody out there and podcasts, man, Yes, but when we do when we do our fantasy flight parties, one of the questions I would get would be that, like, what what is it that this woman does that I don't do?

Like?

And I remember one time.

You asked the ladies, like, how many of you have looked at your own vagina right?

And hardly anybody said that they had right.

And so then I'm asking, like, you've been with more than one man where all their dicks exactly the same? Hell no, So why do you think every vagina is the same?

You know?

And it's like this whole thing that I just got a message recently from a woman who's trying to figure out a situation with a partner, and it's just like, maybe she's not doing something different. Maybe it's not the feel or whatever. It's just people are different and nobody is the same, whether it be inside, outside, emotionally, anything, and if that person is looking for something else, it

I have an example of that.

So early on in our relationship the birthday sex lady. Okay, there was a lady that he shares the same birthday with and they will kind of hook up around their birthday, and so she likes she's also the you know lady right, Oh, well she's around January too.

I like naming them. So this there was one moment that she likes. Anal said, I don't.

I am not in love with it, like you know, I'm getting familiar with it, but love it like no, And that's something like he should be able to try. I mean, if I was guying, I had to. I mean, I've done drop on scenes and it's really awesome to do it, but like to receive it not.

It doesn't work for that way for me. So you know, in the beginning, I'm like, damn, like she can take it up the ass and I can't try harder. Yeah, then I'm like, I don't want to try. I don't like it. I mean, I don't hate it, but I don't love it.

And we know, you know, we talk about like with sex, and it feels so much better if you are enjoying what you're doing.

So who am I to stand in between him and her ass?

Right?

So I'm not gonna be in competition with with that.

There's other women that he stated, like the one that likes to play like basketball and boxing, and she's like low key, like you know, she's like the gym, like the gym lady was, you know, to me, I don't want to do that ship. I don't want to No, I don't want to spar with you.

I don't want to fuck. I don't want right, that's.

Not fun for me. But it doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with me because I don't want to do those things, and there's nothing wrong with him for wanting to want to do those with a woman I like to I like to zumba, right, So that's mine, that's my I love I love it.

It's like, okay, you know, I can't like dance anymore.

Like I don't want to go late out out late at night dancing so I can get like a little taste of like loud music and movement. Yeah, I got a couple of them. He won't ask him you want to go to He's like, I'm not doing that. He just looks crazy. I'm not doing again, And.

Who is he to stand in between me and my zoom? Yeah, I guess it's kind of understanding that you're never going to be everything to.

Yeah, And that's why I like this relationship because I don't want to be and I feel obligated to trust too much and being I think like this style of relationship is really good for women that are a little bit older, have children, have businesses, have a lot of responsibility that and maybe don't you know, just don't want to be everything to every single person because there are times in my life where I feel like, you know, this,

So I'm okay, would that? Yeah, I want a question. I got a lot of questions. I know, I got a lot of questions pertaining to this topic.

Okay, So I know you mentioned like birthday anal girl, Like how how like that's.

An awesome superhero name girl?

She comes found your birthday birthday?

Literally has there or is there currently like on either side or together like a long term person that everybody's cool with you like respects the relationship, respects you.

You guys know maybe you guys do stuff together.

Maybe not, but it's like a like, have you maintained a consistent like girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever girlfriend outside of your relationship.

And are there rules and are there rules around that? Like if she.

Had a boyfriend that had been around for like the last five years, but he was totally respectfully totally cool with you came to Christmas, Like how is that?

Is that okay? Or is it like okay?

Would be unfortunately, like for example, we had we had somebody that we both played with a little bit. I was dating her more, but she had a primary partner that in one instant she ruined it for all of us because she said something to the effect of she was gonna do something that was not really permitted in their relationship with her primary partner, and well, for us, it just debted it. Like for us, it killed it for us because we were like, well, that's your person.

You know, she runs her own business. I'm talking about she like, not hit my bad. She runs her own business.

She's a mom like on some supermom ship, very dedicated to her family, runs her own practice, so not just one business, but like three, you know, so automatically for most men, it's like they want to step in and be like, I want to take care of your own situation. Yeah, tell you what what you're gonna do, even though you know I might not the dude might not even make as much money as you.

Whatever, trying to stop you from making yours.

Or you know, so like I feel like we run into that with certain men who when they approach her, their approach is just while off. So that that's one thing, and then on my side of things, a lot of the women who approach me are trying to do the same dumb ship women were trying to do before I was even with somebody, which has changed me for who I am like.

I don't want to be saved. I'm good at how one. So it's like, you know, they'll try to step in and be.

Like, sure you want to do this porn stuff, like yeah, it's working really well for me, you know what I mean, And like as I transition into just being a business owner, I'm still going to be doing what I do, you know what I mean. So it's just kind of like that is a turnoff. So we don't really run into people, especially if they're more on the vanilla side of things, who can even wrap their heads around what we do and then the take the porn and the kink and

Oh no, the pickens get slimmer, right.

If you're out there and you don't like to hustle, that's okay.

We can use it. Domestic help the children read.

Speaking of children and family and all that, can you explain to our listeners what sex positive parenting is sure.

So sex positive parenting is really just being able to have open communication with your children about sex. It's protecting your children from outside influences that educate them or miseducate them about sex, supporting them through their sex and sexuality journey, and also having good sex. Even though you have children like you having good sex or you guys, the parents are still continuing to be able to have good sex.

And that is sex positive parents as well.

It's like teaching our kids, not shaming them for having sex, you know, making sure that they're prepared if that is the route that they're going in that it is pleasure based, not pressure based.

So yeah, it's so interesting to say that because I was listening. I was listening to this TED talk and they were talking about in I guess.

It's in like the Netherlands.

Uh, that's just like the women out there and just in society out there.

I guess they talk about sex.

I mean versus America, because Americas are so like shameful when it comes to sex, but they teach, they start talking about sex at such a young age with their with their with their girls, and they've got boys, but specifically their girls. Teachers, doctors, parents, that it is pleasure based, that they know what they want, they know that they don't want that. And in America, like I mean, at least I mean for I, adults don't know.

I think I think it wasn't until maybe like in the last I.

Think like maybe seven six seven years that I really start having sex for me, you know, like of course I had play miserable sex, but I wanted to please the man I was having sex with, and if I didn't, I felt like I failed, you know. And it's just crazy that we don't teach our kids about that.

I mean, I don't know when the right time is too, I don't know if there is a right time. There is now it's right away.

I mean, you want to start at least introducing anatomically correct terms to children from.

When they can listen talk, so not even just when they can talk, Yeah, just.

For them to hear it, because it's important for them to be able to if God forbids something bad happens to them, to be able to explain and to let people.

Know what's going on.

Yeah, no.

We did an episode about that because one of my friends is a therapist and she was like, she told me about so many different court cases with children where they called their vagina a butterfly or something just like a creature of some sort, and they couldn't convict that person because they couldn't identify their body. And from then on I was like, well, I was telling my daughter like, that is your vagina, that is your breast, like.

No, peope, no, chee che, I don't even touch it lately.

Yeah, and that too, like just asking questions casually, yeah, like do an't eOne touch your vagina today? Oh no, okay, cool, let's go eat, like making it normal and not like did someone touch you?

Would you tell me if they did? Like what are you doing?

Right?

Has been like forever you're scorn, like, oh this is bad.

I think that's probably half my masturbation issues, Like I feel like it's naughty and I'm like, I'm sorry your body yeah yeah, and then you like, wait, you're thirty to explore yourself.

And you're confused.

Well, unfortunately America was started by.

People who were too proud for England, so you kind of you kind of look at like the people and the way this country was was built and the different social warriors that have pushed this country along for all of these years. Where it's so interesting, like I literally when jazz is breastfeeding or something like, I want somebody to come complain about.

This shit because I want.

But it's like, we live in a society where sex will sell everything, but a woman is shamed for breast feeting.

Oh my god.

And it's like products that don't even have nothing to do with sex.

You know, it'll be someone that's half naked, but then at the same time they shame you for your body or for sex, right, you know. So it's like this crazy twisted idea that you know, kids are sold sex but then told that you know, if they touch themselves or being you know, if they just want to be naked, you know that there's something that's horrible about it and that they should feel bad for who they are.

So you having because you have two kids, and how old are they seventeen and fourteen?

Seventeen fourteen?

So you did you start teaching teaching sex positive parenting from the beginning or is it something that happened much later? And then also, how do they deal with or how do they do they embrace or do they embrace your lifestyle?

Was it a hard transition even or how do you avoid it? Because there's like social media and so no, we don't avoid it. We so we co parent the girls.

We've been co parenting in them since they were twelve and eight and twelve.

And no, I didn't.

I started off very similar to the way that I was raised, which was you know, no communication, very like strict and you know, trying to avoid them ever having to like confront sex, which is ridiculous, and you know, they just like you said, like masturbation.

I was like, oh my gosh, like my daughter is masturbating.

But I you know, I guess maybe as a therapist and as a child that that masturbated as well, was able to say, like, this is not sex, Like she's not in there having sex. She's self soothing, you know, And a lot of adults can use self soothing, you know, instead of always reaching out for other people to help them or or not sothing. So it just became more of an issue like if you're going to do this,

You know.

I was calling them silly names too in the beginning, and then kind of moving forward, which kind of propelled me to be like, all right, you have to figure out how you're going to communicate with these girls about sex in a way that's not going to shame them, because I was working through my own shame around sex, and I'm like, you know, this is what everything every challenge that you have as a woman and as a mother, even as a parent in general, when you're struggling, all

You know for us, we probably like.

Stumbled upon porn, and you know, I didn't realize that at ten years old, and she would be like looking for porn or maybe stumbled upon it and then went down. Yeah, I thought like at that age, maybe she'd be like, oh my god, like this is discussing my computers broke or something.

The first time I saw porn, I was about that age, and I was totally intrigued and wanted to watch more.

Right, So, so what was that? You know?

So I had to have a conversation with her about that, and of course, you know, initially I was like I was heartbroken, like what did she see?

What did I do? Yeah? How did how did I let this happen?

Right?

And then it turned to a conversation about like porn is for people that are eighteen and up. So it's not like don't ever watch it's discussing it's bad. It's when you're supposed to you can watch it. It just like everything else. If you saw your kids looking at a bottle of beer, you'd have to explain that, you know.

Dances, so you know, it is what it is. I didn't want to.

I didn't want to shame myself for enjoying pole dancing. And my daughter, who is a gymnast, would say, like, well, if you like tucked your hips.

Under and tighten your core, you'd be able to hold that longer. Like shit, okay, you know, so.

Like little you know, things like that. They've been along the journey. As far as I'm knowing what we do. They know I don't want them to stumble across it. They embrace it, like you know, I don't know how to explain it. They're they're fine with it. They love that we make money, that's number one. They love that we're happy. You know, nothing about their foundation is threatened by.

What we do.

Social media is black.

Both kids yeah, happening if their friends ever like, have they come to you? Like my friend said like like, how how's that obstacle?

So it's happened in the beginning, well, once it's happened, and my daughter was like, oh, yeah, they found your Instagram page and I was like, okay, good, so y'all on Instagram and I spoke to the children that were following me and maybe their parents as well. So I think when the kids saw that, like oh shit, like we can't like her mom's bed, like she's not gonna let you shame her, and you know, I just said like, if you're looking at my sights, then you're doing something inappropriate.

My daughter's kind of like, what what's happening?

You know, and then they feel a little uncomfortable like oh do I tell her? And my daughter will say things like well, you know that's an adult site, so you're not supposed to be on there, right, So educating them how to have comebacks if you know, they're.

Fine in that way, Like the weirdest one.

One time, my niece and I taken her out to go shopping or.

Something for school. She's like a whole bunch of my friends followed.

But at the time she was in college, but it was still She's still a baby to me.

So I'm like, what do you mean they followed?

They need to not be following me, And she was like, I'm nineteen, they're in college.

I'm like, well, tell them to stop following.

You tell a ninety year old not to do something they don't.

I mean, I think it's interesting just because most most of our family, we're open and honest with them because we wantn't want them to be like blindsided by somebody. So I think it's very important to let them know, like this.

Is what's going on, this is what's happening that way there.

So did you have like a sit down with your family or was it just more of like gradual, gradual and gradual and.

Then with the girls, like I had decided at a certain age kind of like all these things kind of happened, like right around turning thirty.

That I want to be who I am.

You know.

That I'm their mother. I will provide for them, I love.

Them, I'll do everything that I am supposed to do and more.

But I have to be who.

I am, and even if they don't like who I am, like, that's okay because when they become older, they'll remember, like, they'll respective respect it, and they'll be who they want to be as women, you know, and that's fine with me. I may not like that either, but as long as like, you're okay with it, and you know, we talk about natural consequences with everything, like being imporn means that there are some natural consequences.

You know, maybe you'll lose.

Some respect from some people that you probably don't even care about.

You know.

Being in the adult industry has its perks and it also has its drawbacks. There's certain things I have to tell my daughters, like block your page. I need to see everybody that is following you. We can't post where we are in the moment that we're at that place. So it has it's it's it's drawbacks. But at the end of the day, they're seeing two people that love

Offer that to their children. I think we only have a few more questions.

Guys.

I want to get you guys out of here because I know you get a baby, but I just have a I wanted to ask you as far as the femdom and all that and everything in that world or I'm so like stupid wanting to talk about this because I'm un educated.

But are you do you? Or do you consider yourself a dom? Or are you? I know you do, so, then how does that work if you both are? Or would you ever? Are you ever submissive?

No?

Have you ever been? Never?

I mean I've put myself in situations where I guess you can consider it.

I don't know. It's hard to like, I'm not a submissive person.

I've never been a submissive person, always kept both middle fingers up to authority.

But you have to be a submissive person in your and like you have to be.

There are situations and circumstances, like for example, with flogging. Like I've been flogged before, but I didn't consider myself to be a submissive when I was getting flogged. I wanted to know how it felt so I can apply it on other people and know what I'm doing. If I do something nice for Jasmine. I think people's perceptions of what domination and submissive are are are almost like as rigid as every other box that people try to

Like, no, I'm a dominator that ship, you know what I mean, Like, it's not it's not like that, you know.

I Also, I don't consider Jasmine to be a submissive at all either. We're equals, so we don't dominate each other. There are certain like I guess sometimes you will say you're a switch, but I don't really look at you as a switch though, you know what I.

Mean, Well, yeah, I'm not.

I do like maybe situationally or if I say, like, you know, like you make all the decisions, but it's it's still very like I'm making a.

Decision right.

And well for professional purposes. Sometimes I do switch just because I want to try something new. Like one of the cool things for me about being in the industry is that you like, where else are you going to be able to like put a strap on on your foot and fuck somebody.

In the ass, like on your foot, yeah, like this, yeah, like you know, or wrestling, and I, you know, those.

Experiences just don't like pop up on my Facebook feed.

So I some there are some being tied up and tickled and forced orgasm and things like that. I've been able to do, like fun shoots like that that require me to take on a submissive space even though I like cursing the whole time. So that's why I usually say I'm more dominant, but I'll say that I'm a switch because I him be in those situations and have fun or explore them.

But yeah, we don't. We don't dumb each other like we.

Just do you guys have any specific fetishes that you guys are into individually?

Like what are yours and what are yours? Is there anything you're not into?

I mean, I guess there's some if you're not if you're not like submissive, there's probably certain things you're probably not down for.

But yeah, but even though I may like them to do other people right now, I think so it was edging for a while. Now it's definitely spitting, yeah, like and someone's not everywhere all over them.

Yeah, I like that, And then edging can you explain to what I know?

So edging is when you are withholding someone's orgasm, you know, so you're bringing them like just to a point and not allowing them to have an orgasm.

That's one of the forms of edging.

For me, I think my longest lasting fetish. And it has not changed, like it's just like ingrained to who I am. It's just I'm an exhibitionist. I love to be wi it never fails, like someone's there watching, I'm extra turned off.

As of late.

I mean, I would say different forms of impact play have been more and more what I'm into, Like I got into flogging about three four years ago and now I'm into whips.

Can you tell us for the listeners? What's flogging?

Flogging is everything? Flogging Flogging is an impact play that's done with.

It can be material of any so it could be leather, it could be like elk, it could be plastic cord. But it's usually like tassels like these right here. I bring them with me sometimes because people ask these questions. So it's these kind of tassels and you work them about someone's body. So it can be light touches, it can be sent touches, sensual touches.

This is kind of like this chain nice, So this is what I see you whipping around and.

Dangerous.

So like the impact, Like if you like getting spanked, you like getting spanked, so it's it's similar to that.

But each material is different.

Each way that you hit someone is different, so it sends different sensations through the body.

I like doing it rhythmically.

I'm a musician, so like the rhythm part of it is a big turn off for me. Watching what it does to a person's body, like how it changes their breathing or how it makes them move in different ways, Like it's an extreme turno because it's just like another way to please somebody, And for me, I think BDSM. I love it because as for play, it just extends everything.

Who knew there's so many levels to this interesting.

And that's the other thing that I feel is.

Sexy and romantic about it is, especially when you're doing it with your partner. It's like y'all are learning different things together, and mostly because both of us, Like Jazz is real nice with her hands, Like it's beautiful to watch her and like the hands she can warm somebody up for me to then go even harder with a different kind of instrument, or she takes to riding crops, and so it's like we're learning different things that we then use together on people.

So for any of our listeners who like are interested in just getting more and just experimenting in any realm of this, what would be like, what's like the beginner's guy, Like, what's like, how do you intro into.

A fantasy flight.

Because I tell everybody a fantasy flight party is the same as when you go on vacation.

You know where you want to be, Like I want to go to Turks and kkos. You don't fly your own planet. That's what we do. You're like, I want to learn how to flogg.

I want to experience being flogged, or I want me and my friends to just have a party where we find out what our kinks and our fetishes are. That's where we come in. We wear those you know, with the pilots. We get you there. You know, we set it up, We make sure that it happens in a way that's going to be safe and pleasurable, and judges or if you don't want to have it be a group. We do private fetish training one on one or for couples.

Email for these schedules.

You can do info at jet Sitting jazz dot com or on any of our social media and will direct you based on.

What is come go down on us and go down, go.

Down people going down in them. Okay, I have one last question, one last question just because you just had a baby, and I know when I had a baby, I know we have a lot of listeners that have children or are pregnant or thinking about having kids.

For me, when I was pregnant, I don't know about you. I wasn't horny at all. I didn't want to have sex, and even after having my kid, I think I think I was just I was definitely going through postpartum and also I I wasn't comfortable with my body anymore, and which definitely didn't make me feel comfortable having sex either.

My partner didn't understand what I was going through. How did you?

How did you feel when you were pregnant as far as sexually and then how now because you're the only eight weeks postpartum, how are you transitioning back into sex?

Are you having sex.

Or do you have any recommendations for people that that are because I feel like I wish I would have had someone to explain what was going through, what was happening.

Yeah, so, yeah, this is really fresh for me. So in the beginning, I was sick the first three trimesters, so that was gross. No, the first I mean I meant to say the first three months.

With all three children. The first trimester, it was horrible.

So we didn't have sex then because I would literally like throw up. After we had I was I know, I felt bad, but we found other ways to connect.

With one another.

I think that's probably the most important part. Like even when I didn't feel like turned on a horny, I felt loved and I felt close, you know, just him either taking care of me or like when I was going through a lot of like hormonal shifts, he wouldn't feed into it. He just kind of like let it pass, you know, but still validating the craziness, but let it like let it pass.

So that was important.

The second trimester is when we filmed our sacred sex film, like just.

One I saw that congratulations.

So that was fun and it was fun to do because we were trying to figure out like what positions to get into and I think I was self conscious of my body and like what can we do? And then we would start and then I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's no, no, that don't feel good anymore.

Like wait, you on the baby, you know.

But it was fun and because it forced us to communicate, he had to do different things, and you know, so that in itself, it's like if you don't go in with the expectation that you're going to be like smooth like butter, and that you are going to stop a couple of times, you might laugh at each other, then you're going to go into having a good time. And then towards the end, I kind of felt like I felt big, and you know, it wasn't It wasn't quite the same.

I did watch a lot of peorn because you were traveling a lot by the way, you know.

And the interesting thing is that I watched things that I wouldn't normally watch that way.

I was watching a lot of gang Bang I don't know, and I don't I normally like nothing's wrong with them, It's just not my genre.

And it was like, I don't know, I need to go and test and see if it still works.

Now I was gonna, you know, I haven't that's your normal genre lesbian? Really yeah, I hate.

That was like me.

It was like the first porn I ever watched, and I just still love it.

Still doesn't.

I used to like it, but now I'm like this, this is fake. Don't run it for me.

I think it depends on who you watch.

You don't watch girl, I never lets me experienced, and I was like, it's just well, well for me, and I'll go back to the pregnancy thing.

Let's be important. It's just it's softer sensual. It's more sensual. That's it.

I mean, women we connect much faster with each other, just not even sentually, just you know, hey girl, and you know we know how to be like instant best friends in the moment, so that trans translates.

You know.

There's also like a lot of white girl porn and it's like, oh yeah, and I watched it.

I don't listen to the sound.

Yeah, I mute it, or I like playing music because I audio will turn it off.

Yeah, I'm like, okay, none of this. So I was watching silent gangs.

And did they have clo.

You that? Oh god. So the third times was a little bit more challenging.

Yeah, a couple of times, like and then I wanted the baby to come out, so you know, let's do this.

So that wasn't super sensual. It was very functional.

And then yes, we've had we had sex, like the day that I turned eight weeks like eight weeks post part of and.

Actually four days ago. It was good. It was really enjoyable.

I am conscious of my body, you know, I'm not comfortable and it just doesn't feel like, I'm very I am aware of why my body has changed, that it's going to take some time for it to go back into place, or maybe we'll never go back to how it was. But I my new normal, what I wanted to be. It's going to take time to get there. But it doesn't mean I'm comfortable. Like you know, coming here, I was like, Okay, this is vague enough, and can.

I breastfeed in it? And can I say thank you?

Can I say it for a long time? With these buttons and all that kind of stuff. I just put a postpartum project on my Instagram and website today and it talks about all of those like the shift mentally physically, and also doing a nude photo shoot six weeks out.

Yeah, I was six weeks in DC.

Six weeks postpartum, no makeup, no filters, no touch ups to the just this is what a thirty eight year old woman's body looks like after having her third child after fourteen years.

And you know, it's not so bad. I bet, girl, because you look good. Thank you dude.

But I don't mean yeah, I mean I think most women I'm probably don't you mean she was like this small when she was pregnant and then like what like like bounced back like five seconds.

But like, yeah, when when I first saw my baby, I was like, what is going on? Even sex? I was like, what is this? I even thinking?

Like when I do get back down the side, like my breast stag before, so like are they going to be even more? You know, I had to stretch marks and are they going to be even worse? So all of those things. But I've never been turned down because of my body, you know, And so I'm like I don't think that's gonna happen.

Yeah.

Yeah. And then for you, I have like pregnancy sex. What is that like for a man? Is that is Is it true that the pussy is tighter? Is it?

Do you feel the baby's head? Like honestly, I know you don't, but you know or have you ever had pregnancy sex and porn? Like prior to that, I hadn't had it in porn, but I had in life.

Yeah.

I know it wasn't his baby, Let's get that real clear.

I think it was.

Would you have been opposed if she wanted to have somebody else while she was parkning with your baby?

Because that's a big man thing, because you guy are so open. But like for a man shot, I didn't do any penetration. Okay, yeah, would you have had a problem.

That's our body for to make that ship.

I was no, very yeah.

I think for me, even even in the first trimester, she was like I'm sick and all this, you know, I was just like, my baby is sexy as hell, like when people say that pregnant glow, Like I saw.

That in her the entire time.

You know.

It's just like I found her to be even more attractive. And even if we weren't having sex, it was just kind of like let me, let me, let me talk to you know what I mean, let me touch it, let me hold you, let me what do you want? What can I get you? Like, I felt very much connected and sex wise, like when like especially, I mean I think about the scene because it was it wasn't like at home. You know, when you're at home, it's just kind of like, yo, let's get it in, let's

Like it was that aspect of it.

Really made me, made me appreciate just what a woman has to go through body wise in a situation we've had sex so many times or shot so many times, and any other time she was like I don't give with a camera, like let's.

Get it, you know.

So it was like, I don't know that is the pussy did for I mean, I felt that she was wetter all the time, just natural body stuff is going on. So that aspect of it, but I don't know how to explain it. It was just like a different kind of connection, a deeper kind of connection.

Cool.

Yeahful, Yeah it is. No. You guys are amazing.

Thank you so much for coming on sharing your life, a little snippet of your life with us.

I we have we had like a lot of questions coming in. We're like, oh my god, we have so many questions, and I feel like I feel lightened. I feel super enlightened. Yeah, and I feel like my perspective has changed.

Like im not not to say that I was judgmental, but I didn't understand fully. I was intrigued by it, but I didn't fully understand how you balance your lifestyle. And it seems so.

Non natural and normal. That makes sense. I'm really excited for all of our listeners.

To hear it.

Yeah.

Yeah, definitely make sure that they go to Royal Fetish xxx dot com, jetset and Jasmine dot com. And if they are going through certain things, then they need to go to.

Blue Pearl Therapy. It's Blue Parol Therapy dot org.

Awesome, cool, thank you, thank you, thank you for having us. Well, guys, that's it for tonight's episode. Make sure you also follow us I could Mom's Bad Choices.

And we will see you next week.

Oh and we're gonna out you out with Kimar's new song that you can find on Apple iTunes called and.

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