Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mela. Happy Wednesday mother, Happy Wednesday wife. How are you feeling? I'm great?
How are you?
I am?
I'm good.
I'm doing good, you know, mom life juggling being a superstar and a mom trying to get people to pick up my kid from school so I can interview the biggest rock star of them all.
Agreed, Agreed, but all's well.
How are you?
I'm great? You guys, if you are not following us on YouTube, you should specifically now this is the time, because bitches have leveled up today.
Okay, Actually I did a wrong thing and I started to look at our our or comments on YouTube last night.
How would you do that?
I don't know. I was just curious. I was like refraining from talking.
Shit you this is what you do in the late night. I know.
I'm like you on Lipstick Alley, Like, why don't tell me when I did that?
Secret?
Anyway, someone requested that we start showing our outfits. They said they were fashion nistas. I mean, never show our outfits. So I just wanted to say, for whoever wrote that comment.
Did you get dressed specifically for this you didn't even know me.
I get dressed every day.
What are you talking about?
I'd like to think that's for me.
Yes, we have our titties out and sometimes me and Erica. Most of the time we always coordinate because we're spiritual, which is wife's no. Oh my god, I'm okay. Let's why should be introduce our guests. I was going to tell about maur witchy incident over the weekend. It's really not that intense.
But what she's talking about.
We were sitting in the somewhere and I had a specific thought about a particular random person that we both know, but it's not a very close person. It's someone who lives in fucking Costa Rica. We do not talk to him often. And I was like thinking of him, and she turns and looks at me and goes, have you talked to Gilly? And I said, stop right now, get the fuck out of my head.
I do not appreciate it, and she's like, what are you talking about?
I was like, bitch, I was literally thinking about this nigga right this very instant, and you said this to me. It scared me really bad. I mean not scared me, like I knew we're connected and we're witches.
But that shit.
I was like, this is this is on a different level of connection. I was like, are we talking without talking? Are we that close that we're talking without moving our mouth?
Yeah?
Yeah, so it's it's official.
We're witches.
Anyway, we have a very special guest here today.
Who's blessed us with this poppin' ass studio setting because he's Poppington, the rock star of all the og the original best to ever do it second time on our show, the Dad, the entrepreneur.
The King, the mogul, the mogul. Damon, motherfucking dash.
I like that one. I was expecting an applause out there that.
We can have that later.
How are you?
I'm good better now?
How are you? I miss you? Friend. Last time I saw you was randomly in the backstages of Coach.
Yeah. Yeah, you're having a ball. I was.
He was escorting his daughters around like a good dad.
The good rock star dad that he is literally like.
His daughter's like we're leaving, Dad, He's like, I gotta go. They were really bossing his ass all over.
Erica told me she's like, yeah, I saw Dave. It was so cute. She was he was here with his daughter and his daughter's son. They're making out. He was acting I mean daughter's boyfriend and not daughter's son.
They were kissing. They were getting real. It was right in front of your face.
Was Eric I saw because she was like, damn, was acting so cool and they were just making out. I was like, guess that's what his rock star dad's all about.
You just act cool?
Well, you know, Ava, But I have a thing with my daughter's is I'm actually like a straight slave for them. And the reason why is because if they get with a guy, the guy has to treat them at least as good as me or as me, or if not better. And you know, she has someone that really respects her and that actually does the right thing by her. So you know they're in a relationship, you know what I mean. It's not like a hookup, even though if they're kissing, I don't want to see that, but you know he's
doing and I know that. The reason why is because she's seen our relationship Raquel's and I and the way I treat her.
So she caught one a good one, you know.
But so he comes to Coachella, Like when I took my daughter to Ava to Coachella when she was fourteen years old. So then when Tulula turned fourteen, Ava leveraged that and was like, you know, Tulula's fourteen, so we all got to go to Coachella. So you got to get the tickets, you got to get to the house. And it was really nothing I could say to that, and I actually enjoyed it, you know.
So I got that off. I don't know if Tallula.
Wanted to go as bad as maybe Ava, but she got that off her bucket list. And I was able to take both of my kids to Coachella when they were a certain age and then together and then you know, Ava graduated college.
That's amazing.
Yeah, the good part about Ava is that I've taught her a lot of my ideals, but she's like me as a woman. But you know, I never have had to feel that like pain of a daughter that's not doing the right thing publicly, you know what I mean, or just you know, sort of disrespecting or.
Growing or going through it.
She never went through it like that, and I appreciate that, and I got to give a lot of those props to her moms as well. But she's been classy she's kept it classy and she's kept me proud, you know, like she did it. She graduated college. And I didn't care if she went to college, but she went. But I'm proud, you know what I mean, she chose to go. I'm more so proud that she got to go to college without debt, you know what I mean. So that's where that pride comes in. But she had the discipline
to do it. She's in a proper relationship. You know, she does a modeling one too.
You know, both your kids are beautiful. First of all, they're supermodels.
Yeah, my two daughters. You know, I got Boogie and Lucky and now baby Dustco as well.
Got boys.
Yes, all your kids, thank you.
We all make some beautiful kids. Yoh, I got some too, Baby Dosco is ill. This is the first one I was able to raise every single day and art detective life where I never leave him, you know what I mean. Like as soon as we've done here and right back there, and I'm actually going to do an interview with my daughter about our TV show and Love for a Living about my children's amazing.
It's called in Love for a Living.
Yeah, I like that. Rocket and I are in love for a living.
I like that. I want to be in love for a living. I mean, I am in love with you.
Well, the trick about making money is doing something that you would do for free, something you enjoy so much that you actually get paid for it, and it never feels like work. So you know, why would you create a career that doesn't include the person you want to be around the most. That means you're not going to be around her or him when you're promoting and you're all doing what you got to do.
So my model, even with.
My ex wife Rachel, I create businesses with them so that you know, we can do it together and we never leave each other. And you know, when there's a dream that's made, I was there to help make it come true because overall, that's what your man is supposed to do. He's supposed to make your dreams come true. If your man is not making your dreams come true, he's not your man.
Do you hear that?
That's a fucking word?
Do you hear that? No, it's been I've I have really loved watching the evolution of you and Roquel, because I've known you now for almost ten years.
I think more than that.
No, I mean it was right right before I got pregnant.
That's when we first met. Yeah, like a year before that.
Yeah, so like eight eight nine years my daughter seven.
Yeah yeah, and with the vitata, yeah yeah, that's the Veta.
She just like defriended me.
I don't know why she's around, I know, but she never had She doesn't check any she don't.
She don't be going nowhere.
She would be on the ground, she don't.
She's fighting people's rights.
That's good.
People. But I know, Rocky started off as your assistant and then grew into being like the wife your Wifey.
She changed my life unsuspectedly.
In what ways did you think she changed your life?
Well, she became my muse, and I wanted different qualities in a woman that I had prior to so before in a very egotistical way. I was really into dating famous women and models and all that other ship. And you know, I was really, really completely and everyone knows it's in love with Aleah. And even while she was alive, the relationship was painful because she was always gone and I was always gone. We both we're professionals, and again
we weren't working together. But you know, I forgot what I was talking about.
What we were talking about, well, just saying how like how your expectations what.
You so, you know, around the time I met Rocky, it was like I just wanted a girl that was beautiful in the morning.
When she woke up like that, that was it.
I was like, as long as when we wake up she's gorgeous, you know, because that's when you spend the most time. Like when you get into a relationship with somebody, you got to wake up with them every day and go to sleep with him. And it's not like you're out and dressed up. It's how good you look when you dressed down, And she's just perfect when she's dressed up,
you know what I mean. And then you know, it was about her showing me the things that I wasn't really able to do because I became successful relatively young. So going to supermarkets and just walking around in the street and walking dogs and one of the bars, just regular shit was like a big deal for me. And she enjoyed things. And because she didn't know who I was when she met me, she never had any expectation, so everything that I did is a surprise to her.
Or do there's no everyone else that I've ever met. It's just this is like an entitlement of everything being big Willie no matter what you know. But her her family, there's no entitlement. You know, they had no expectation. It's just, you know, everything feels like appreciate it. So she's always
appreciated everything that a lot of people don't. And then just like you know, wanting it, knowing like wanting a girl that paints and it takes pictures and draws and you know those kind of cooks you know, take does yoga, you know, takes good care of herself. You know, when someone takes good care of themselves, by default, they got to take good care of you.
You know.
So if you see a person a partner in their house is dirty, then don't expect them to clean yours. If they don't cook for themselves, you can't expect them to cook for you, you know. So if somebody doesn't do something for themselves, it's rare they're going to be able to do it for someone else. That's the reason why when I work with people, they have to have a dream and I have to see them working on it, because the amount of work you put into your dream
is probably exactly the amount of work that you're putting into. Mind, So if I see being lackadaysical about your own, I know you being lackadaisical about mine, right, I.
Mean, then, even if you are putting more into my shit than your own, how long will that last? If you are not committed to yourself. There's something to be said about someone more committed to the relationship than to themselves.
I don't think that's healthy.
Well, I find people that are totally like will commit to other people's dreams versus their own, and that's not the right relationship.
Do you But do you want that person?
Of course not. But I think I see that all the time, and just in every aspect, not just relationships, and as well.
I think the thing about relationship of finding the perfect partner is like with rocky things that people look at in other relationships that I've had as faults, she finds as strengths.
You understand what I mean?
What are some examples.
She doesn't mind women around, She doesn't mind it at all.
Well, And when you say women around, are there just women around in the house and the bathing suits and all the cuttle pockets and the pool, are you interacting with women? Are you just making three way kissing them?
Like?
What level of around is she accepting of? And the people weren't prior to her.
The level of accepting when you guys were in the pool.
I haven't announcement.
I want to tell you, Dame, after that pool they so, I know everyone hears this. If you're listening, if you're a longtime listener, you know that I'm a three way kissing bitch.
I'd be three way kissing.
I don't know why it brings so much joy to my heart does, but it's it's because of Dame.
I know you really didn't. You lit the fire in her.
Ever since, Dame, I have been three way kissing. Ever since, I have been on like a like a fucking manifesto.
Come everyone gather around you. You you no, we can't do that. We did four too, I have you know, I reserved the four for us.
I haven't taken that far, but I have three way my fucking life away.
I wasn't expecting you to say all that. I see what we're working with now. I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Last time, last time Erica and I went to the house, we all went swimming, and.
Why not Damon gave us.
What kind of show did you think you were on?
Dave?
I know, we're never rock star moms.
The fun we're rock star moms.
We tell it like it is in the pool, and then Rocky came and then we wait.
Okay, let's we don't want to tell everybody.
So I thought it was lovely.
No, No, that was great.
Anyway back to you.
Damn, I got out, Dame dash that's crazy was the next question.
He that you hear that?
Guys, I've out, Damon. Damon started sweat. I'm sorry bringing it back.
So what you're saying you think previously in relationships have you have you tried to fit into a box of like what's like a normal I guess monogamous relationship would look like.
I think I was always tried to put be put in a box. No, Like, if you're attracted to a man because women like him, and then you get with him, you can't be mad at women still being attracted to him. And you know, if he's a witty, humorous, flirtatious kind of a guy or charming, you can't expect the person to stop being charming.
You know, how do you think you balance that though, like, how do you I mean, obviously.
I know Rocky and I'm with Rocky every single day.
You guys get tired of each other.
Never, That's the thing. I never get tired of being around Rocky. You see, I don't be out. I got what I'm looking for. I'm not out recruiting. I'm not out recruiting, you know. And I don't disrespect our relationship by lying. So, you know, we have a very honest relationship. And it just so happens that she's one of the most confident people I've ever met in my life because it's not like an issue that has to be pushed. She doesn't like dudes around me, Like she doesn't like dudes.
I don't like dudes, you know what I'm saying. So we have that in common. But she really does, like she feels you know, she knows, I guess from being around me. She knows every single thing a dude's not saying, and what a dude is thinking, and what a dude has the potential to do, you know, So she just like cut all of that off completely.
So you know, I have.
Friends, and I have a lot and I have consistent relationships with them, but they don't entail me being away from my girl, but it doesn't entail my girl being around a bunch of dudes, you know what I mean.
So it works out that way.
So now that I know you guys, you guys just had a baby, were not just how does dusk going to year and a half? Year and a half times? It's flying And essentially, I mean, I guess it's almost like a second chance of fatherhood for you. Not that like you needed a second chance, but like we said, like this is the first so I.
Needed I needed a fifth chance. That was my fifth chance.
I needed it, sorry fifth And I know, I know, Rocky, you know, she really really wanted a child as well.
That's all she wanted, right, She didn't care about anything but having a child. And actually we went through IVF and fairly far along in the pregnancy it went wrong and you know that didn't work out, and a year later we had a baby. I mean, we really had to. Well yeah, and we're starting the process again today. Yesterday she started taking the shows. I'm like, yo, I'm fifty one, man. If we're gonna do this, we gotta do this now. But yeah, every relationship that I've had Prior to this one,
I've had to fight to see my children. My children have been used to hurt me, which hurts them, and my children haven't been able to have the luxury of seeing both of us at the same time and enjoying both of us at the same time and not seeing
me hurt because I missed them so much. So being able to art detect the world where I can be with my child every I've been with baby Dusco every single day since he's been born, Like I've flown places and come back to New York and back and think New York and back in the day Nicolett and I just because I can't be I can't do it. I have a different option. And it's the best feeling in
the world. There's nothing better, you know, like just watching your baby grow and being able to invest time and him, be able to just be with both of us or one of us and just pivot back like it's crazy to be able.
I know that I've been.
I've been the person that's rocked him to sleep because every day.
More than anyone. It's not like we swim three times a day.
We went to the doctor yesterday and the doctor was like he's at a four year old level. You know the things he's doing. And I don't think, you know, he's a super genius. I just I think every child is a super genius if both parents can invest a certain amount of time.
And that's another thing. Is Rocky does that? She done, made two.
Books, coloring books, she makes his food from You know, he's complete.
It's the dream.
And I always remember where I came from all the time, not to say the hood, just where I was mentally and what was hurting me, So I know what was hurting me before it was hurting me that I couldn't see my children. My whole life has been court and being positioned just so I could see them the moments that I can, the pain of missing them on holidays and birth days, and Rocky stuck with me through actually
every bit of that since Tallula was born. And then I know the pain of wanting to have a baby with a woman and it not working out so quickly, knowing that it's the perfect relationship, like finally I got the woman, but we can't have the baby, and I subsequently we went through some shit that I never ever went through, you know, a different kind of pain, but I knew that the only reason for that darkness was
because the light was going to be crazy. But as an adult, I was able to art detect what I wanted the first two three years to look like for us, and we've been living it, so I'm actually living in my dream right now. But I had to visualize it first, and she visualized it, and we fought hard for it, and that's why you marry it. It's like sometimes you got to feel some pain to marinate it when you're not in pain, and that's what's fucked up about humans,
like trial and everror. I'd rather be able to learn from somebody else's pain, but I actually had to learn from my own. But I'm lucky enough to be agile and to still be healthy to get that other chance to do it right. Had I not been able, like you know, able to just graduated college, had I not been able to experience what I've experienced now, I would have really missed out on the meaning of life.
So you know, as moms, we're so busy.
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Like a lot of people don't get to go through that. You get that lighter back, you got to be a lighter passer, backup past that fireback.
Well, I think it's amazing. I think obviously, I think as mothers and women, this is something that we you know, we had Joe Budden on the show and he he said that mothers are the primary parent and I took issue with that because I felt like, no, motherfucker, this is a this is a two per situation. We both laid down had this baby and said we were going to be there to hear what you're saying and saying that you want to be there through every step of the way and be involved.
Every doctor's appointment, and that's what I mean.
He said that that's just how it goes and I said, no, that's a choice.
That's a choice.
That's for sure a choice like men make that choice of like, yeah, you got it, No.
I got what happens when you get to spend that time, you get to see how hard it is to raise a child or baby because a baby needs to be watched twenty four seven. They're always moving around, so it's hard to have time for yourself. So if Rocky didn't have the support system, I would I don't even know. It's still hard with the support system, but you know we I'm no one's complaining. We love that kind of hard, you know what I'm saying, Paul, So.
So I know again.
I was having an argument with a debate with one of my friends that I resp backed a lot, and I was like, yo, women and God to me man, I'm a slave for and you know that's what makes me a king and that's why I deserve a queen. And he was like, no, you bugging. The man is the prior and the man is I'm like, yo, everything under man's control is fucked up. He's still fighting wars. Don't see no women really setting it on people like that. You feel me like it's crazy, it's all under the world is.
Messed up under men's control.
So of course a man is going to make women believe that they're smarter. But women create life and that's the closest thing to God, I know, and I get a lot of pushback for that, but I don't care. That's just that's that's what's made my life to what it is.
Do you think you would?
I mean, I agree one thousand percent, And I think that's why the world isn't a deep imbalance, because men have been tricked into believing that otherwise. But it's not really hard to figure out if you're paying attention. Do you think you would have been that aware had you not taken this last like, had this experience and been in the house every day raising your child.
Oh no, no, no, never.
I can't believe how much work it is to be a mom, you know, and that women do this on their own, and that men don't have the strength to see it through where a woman just won't give up on their child. So when you just say let your mother take care of it, that's like saying I'm giving up on my child.
And then you're not visualizing how much work.
Like when I think about rocky doing certain things I think about or even me what it's going to look like in the future, carrying a baby while you going shopping or going to the doctor, and what could happen and all these things. I just I couldn't have pictured that. It's that much work to take care of a baby. And I actually have to give my you know, my other kids mom's kudos despite how I feel, because they took their challenge on and they they did a lot without me.
You know, I just would.
I don't know why they chose that, you know what I mean, I was fighting to be there, Like that's the crazy shit is I'd be the one fighting to be there.
You know.
You got to remember I had custody of Boogie when he was eight, so I was a single father, and I wouldn't do that to another child ever.
Again, it's affected him to this day.
Do you think it's your lifestyle, the rock star lifestyle that they like they don't understand or they don't they don't understand even like the idea that you know, you would have other women in the house and also be married essentially, and that's not the I'm just curious because, like I know, because you have perspectives.
My first child, I was twenty so it was never really like that.
M hm.
And you know, I was married to Rachel.
And again, I have so much respect for my children that I don't really get into that.
You know what I mean.
But at the end of the day, they she just wasn't like you know, I guess Rachel was like with like swing on girls the club, like jealousy, just just disrespect, like a girl might just come up and kiss me and she'd be like and it be the whackest punch in the world, you know what I mean.
And I'd be like, you gotta stop doing that. You know what I'm saying. Somebody's gonna whip your ass, like you know what I'm saying.
So it wasn't even about And again I would never what I've been used as an example of, which is even great. My daughters will probably never get with a man like me, you understand, I mean, they know what a man like me is.
And I'm like, that's a choice.
Would you want your daughters to date a man like you?
No, I want my daughter to date the man like she's dating, like he does everything, but he's not.
He has you know.
And again it's not you have to understand the issues I have. You know, these are like I think they weren't me sometimes being a little insecure. My mother died and that was my worst nightmare when I was like fifteen, and that from in that space on, I was very leary about letting myself get close to a woman. And then I get close to a woman and she dies in a plane crash. So of course I'm like, I have a fear of being invested, and only you know
what I mean. It's like I already know it. You know what I mean, and I think Rocky understands that.
You know what I mean.
But it's not like I'm not don't get a twisted I'm not in a bunch of relationships with a bunch of women at all. It's just they be around, you know what I mean. They're around to hang out and to kick it. But she just doesn't have any issues with it, you know what I mean. Where the women that I've been with before just they just didn't want girls around me at all. But again I wouldn't either,
you know what I'm saying. But I think our relationship would be different if I wasn't around Rockel every single day. So if I was leaving her to be with other around women, that would be different. But I don't want to. I have no desire to do that. You know what I'm saying, Like, what's your I forgot?
Yeah, tars, Oh that makes total sense.
Your birthday just passed.
Yeah, happy birthday.
Thank you?
Grounded home life is really important. You like nice things, stability, independence, independence. Are you a preature of habit? Like you do? Order the same shit over and over again. You go to the same places, Yeah.
Eat the same food. I mean, I don't like to take chances. And I like to.
Control my environment. Mhm, so like Coachella. I can't control the environment, so anxiety all those people. But I do like to be able to make my rules, you know, without them breaking any laws.
What I think, what I was going to say is that you know, I know you have a son and a baby son, a baby son, and obviously you share this, you share this perspective of that women are gods and all these things. Like, I guess, in what ways do you are you going to raise him different than you
were able to with your sons? Obviously I know they were there, I know you're there, but it's anything different that you would change versus the lessons you taught your older sons versus you know, now having a much younger son.
Well, the difference between my first son and the rest, it was like I had just made all that money as I had him, so it was like I didn't really know how I was new money and I had he was outside.
Him and my nephews was too cool. I wanted them to be as cool as me.
But that's too cool because I get you in trouble, you know, you gotta be They was outside. So like you know again, I had boogie with all my nephews, the heirs, Darien and little Darien, Nico Dash now little Stevie, little Bobby, and little Kathy and even little Austin out here Stacy's son.
Those little motherfuckers are all the same age. And they was bad.
And you know what I would do is I would give them my cars. I didn't really use, like my van, like I had the van custom before everybody, but once I got sick, I'd give it to them. And their nanny was basically a driver with a gun. And I would hear now that they're older, i'd hear the stories and I'm like, and they all got in trouble or every last one of them. You know, they're are like they're good now. But for my other nephews and my kids, especially my boys, I tried to keep a lot of
that cool shit. I teach them the ideals, but I didn't want it. Wasn't like I don't have them running around, you know. I almost wanted to be a little corny, just a touch, you know what I mean. Too cool means you've dealt with pain too much.
Too cool to get you fucked up out here.
I have a question speaking of pain.
I know you've talked about, you know, just understanding how you relate to women from your past experiences and some of your trauma from your mom and the relationship that you had. How have you like that's first of all, bomb to be able to recognize exactly where it's inflicted and how it's affected you in your relationships. But how have you worked on healing that?
Like?
Are you in therapy?
And yeah, I did a lot of I still do therapy every week. But I'm lucky enough to have like a friend that's a therapist. So you know, we got that show Healing is Gangster, But before that, like when I'd have to get court order therapy, like I had to go through like supervised visitations and therapy just to see my children.
But it really did help. I'm glad I went through it.
So what I learned was when you're spending time with your child, like I had Ava and Boogie, they used to be in my world with me. So they'd come to the office, my office, and they come to my events, and I felt like that was me spending time with them. What I learned was I have to go to their office, so you know, it became for tulula tulula time, and we would make you know that, we would make her environment. I would basically go to a seven eight year old's environment and create that.
So now if you go.
Into baby duscos it's an environment, it's his environment. We don't really try to bring him in our environment so often. That's why he doesn't come to the office. You know, we uh, we create an environment of his that we hang out in.
I'm so glad that you said that, because I think that's something that a lot of parents miss, not just dads and moms too.
But well, I had to get professional help to realize that I didn't just that wasn't just something in your mind.
You were like, what I'm doing, I'm spending the time, or at the show, they're seeing Janet Jackson in person, they're doing this, Like what the fuck are they complaining about.
What's crazy is how confidence you could be in something that you're so wrong, and then when you figure out or find out or get enlightened or have that epiphany, it's your responsibility to change immediately. But some people don't, even though they're conscious, they go by pattern. But yeah, therapists, I needed that?
Was that just one? Was that just one breakthrough? Like they just she just broke it down like that and you just understood it or it took time for you to get together and they stood it.
As soon as she said it, because I saw, you know, when I went to the therapy. It wasn't like us sitting in a therapist from what we were in like a nurse, you know, like a romper room type shit places