¶ Intro / Opening
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. She couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was a good woman who always made good choices.
That shit, we're good mom's bad choices. Who's single mom?
Who said fuck the patriarchy shared all their bad choices.
And sound out they were so bad.
After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
I can do it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Nila.
Happy motherfucking Wednesday.
Happy Hemp Day, bitches. How are you feeling?
I feel good. I feel like I have my hair slicked back, which I haven't done in a very long time. And I was like, oh, there's my face. Yeah, like I have a face. My hair is normally like covering my whole.
Now I have a face.
It's true because I've been like slicking IRI's hair back, and I was like, let me just let me see what's happening. And plus I my grays, so I was like, oh my god, I have a limited amount of time to capitalize on this middle part being totally dark. So I don't know. I feel like, look, I'm giving a shade moment today. If you're on YouTube, go check us out. How are you.
I'm good, I'm feeling good. I yeah, I just shouted and get back in the swing of things. Oh yeah, we haven't really been. We haven't recorded in a couple of weeks because we were on the road. We're about to leave again. So yeah, it feels nice to be back in the studio and just chilling, trying to get my life together. I feel like adulthood is a constant, like pendulum of balance of routine and dinner, and you're on it, then you're not, and then I'm always always,
It's always like a forty sixty for me. Sometimes I'm in the I'm in the thick of it, and I'm like, oh yeah, And then sometimes I'm like, oh my god, my house is a mess. I need to make dinner again for the four hundredth day this week, and.
Fuck yeah, I don't want to eat anymore. I'm so I wish I could just put one of those things in my throat, like those tubes, just this feeding tube, just feed me nutrition. I'm so fucking tired of figuring out what the fuck I'm eating next.
I'm really over it.
I am too. I don't want to I like food. I don't want to be fed by a tube. But I think going on retreats really spoils me because we get like three meals, delicious meals planned every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes they even come back gaining ten extra pounds. I'm like, look at that ass.
You know, did you gain ten pounds?
I don't know.
I don't really weigh myself in my head. I did because I was eating so much in Jamaica and like without even thinking about it, you know, And then here I'm like food, fucking.
Shout out to our Jamaica tribe and all the ladies that joined us at our Jamaica four to twenty retreat. That was our first cannabis like focused retreat. And when I tell you, bitches can smoke men under the fucking table. Like I've never seen women consume so much cannabis in a five day period ever, so much so that I
got at infection. Afterwards, I came back with a heavy coffee and I was like, why am I sick, and then Aaron like sent me an eye cloud and there were multiple photos of me in different outfits smoking three blunts at one time, like in my mouth, like like cheech and chong, and I was like, oh, that's why we.
Weren't fucking around. I'm pretty sure, like we you smoke like two ounces of weed?
It was no, we smoked four ounces of weed, not two ounces bade four.
Yeah, we were really getting it in and it was great.
I literally I was looking at pictures and I have a picture on like sleep but there's another picture.
I'm like and shout out to Brushes and Buds Melissa from Brushes and Buds and Buds in Jamaica, because she not only hooked us up with a beautiful like what is it a paint and smoke or steam and paint situation where we learned how to smoke like the Rasta's out there callice out of the chalice and the steam, but she also blessed the group with a bunch of different types of edibles. So there was like crownies, cookies, then there were these teas and these bags of it.
But frozen drinks, frozen drinks.
And these bags and people just we're smoking, drinking the cannabis. I was like, oh, was everyone standing? The only thing we were missing was like some cream. We needed some cannabis cream.
We always need to just bathe our bodies in it because we were pretty high.
I led my first cannabis breath work workshop, which I feel like I got to take around the world. Now I feel like I feel like I've invented something that I now need to go on a world tour breath work cannabis workshop. So I'm pretty sure we are going to be doing this, like probably annually. I think the Cannabis for twenty retreat is a new staple of the Good Vibe retreat.
I definitely want to go back, so I'm I'm sold. I had a really good time. I had a really good group of women with twenty women, and we just did a lot of adventure, a lot of smoking, and a lot of eating. And I am grateful because that food was bomb.
And if this sounds like your vibe, we have another retreat. It's not a cannabis retreat, but we be smoking there too. We have two retreats in Costa Rica in July and August, So if you want to join us, come We're actually almost so hurry up and book it. Check out the Good Vibratory. Click the link in this episode description and put down your deposit, make payments, and join us because we will feed you, we will get you high, and we will heal you.
Don't make any excuses and don't get left behind.
Fomo's a bitch.
You will see us on Instagram having the time of our lives in paradise.
Amen.
But today we have a very special guest, so I didn't want to wait any longer. Today we have joining us the expert, the expert.
Intimacy expert millions of women around the world, Susan Bratton.
Hello, beauties, Hello, happy to be here, Welcome to the show. I just adore you both so much. First of all, you look beautiful, like in your shad.
Oh thank you.
That is just when you walked in this morning, I was like, oh, she is so good.
Yes, tell me more.
Oh I will, I can, I can literally keep on going. And I didn't. I have never seen this little what do.
You call it, I don't know, like a lip adornment, lip adornment. Shout out to what's her name in Costa Rica?
Essence?
I think essence.
Yeah, this woman in Costa Rica. Again, if you join us in Costa Rica, you can get this lip adornment only she makes beautiful, beautiful jewelry.
Like so pretty on you, thank you. Yeah, it's stunning, especially with your hair back like that and the shape of your face and then just that lip adornment. The symmetry is really appealing. It looks really pretty and very exotic and very like I don't know, like it definitely wants me to make out with it like that is the first thing I thought was, like, what would it be like?
This is like this is this is a mature lip like a tongue ring. I don't want to get a tongue ring. This is like the next one and you can take it off.
Yeah, I don't think you can make out with it.
I think you can, but it was the thing that out but my hip was, oh, that'd be an interesting thing to experience.
Yeah, you know, and you can like swap it back and forth, you know what I'm saying.
I love it. Yeah, and me let's got her Bindian. She's got a pink beandion, so she's got her good mom's bad choices bindi on.
I think that's what that is I like to wear the Bendi's open up. My third eye activates some chakras.
I love it.
That sounds great. Yeah, so I'm very happy to be here. I brought goodies. I brought so many goodies. And I can't wait to see what you want to talk about, because I do like to talk about lots of sexy stuff.
Well, I have a question because I was looking on your website. Can you tell me what an orgasmonaut is? Yeah, I said you are a self proclaimed orgasmonaut and I was like, I like that term. Tell me more.
Yeah.
Well, and it's particularly good when I'm wearing like a silver Licras spacesuit.
That would be great.
That's my favorite, of course. Room that is all costumes in lingerie.
Yea in my house.
Language comes in lingerie to my house.
Oh I'm so much bigger than you guys, your second lovely But yeah, so when I was first. So this is my second career. I've been In'smithy expert to millions. And I didn't start out with the millions. Oh we
lost our book. I didn't start out with millions, but I worked my way up to it over the last two decades that I've been a sexpert, but it was my second career, and it was my second career because I fucked my husband for twelve years and never had an orgasm, No Jesus, and you know, I could have an orgasm with my vibrator, but I couldn't have an orgasm from intercourse. And I'm like, this is ruin, this is ruining my marriage. I mean like I was avoiding
him for sex I was given in mercy sex. I was like, just do it from behind and get it over with kind of thing. And it was shitty. We were miserable. He was miserable. I was miserable. It wasn't good. So we were like, well, what are we going to do about it? Okay, well we'll read some books, we'll go to some workshops, we'll talk to some therapists. We'll
see if we can figure this out. And that was really good for us to do, because, in all honesty, most women who don't have orgasm for intercourse think there's something wrong with them. Oh, I just can't, and then
their husbands think, well, I guess she's broken. But I'm still going a fucker, right, I mean, And this is kind of what we where we were with that and I was just recently watching a very big podcast with a sexpert on it who was saying, you know, you don't have to have orgasms, you can just enjoy the closeness. I'm like, fuck that I'm allowed to say fuck right, Yeah.
This is a space free space.
Space is a filled space.
Getting fucked over here saying fuck, we're getting fucked.
So, you know, I just really hate it when sexperts who obviously aren't coming well are sexperts I hate about. Don't worry that you're not having an like forget. So I devoted my whole career, my second career, to orgasm experiences techniques. How do you come? How many ways can you come? What's the pathway? Because in the grand scheme of things, we have an operating system. Our body is an operating system. Humans Homo sapiens work the way homo
sapiens work. If you want to elicit an orgasmic response, you do these things and it makes you come, And there's over twenty ways that you can come. But I didn't know all of this until I kind of started to try to solve my own problem, and I learned how to have orgasm from intercourse, and I was like, whoa, I need to teach the rest of the world how to do this?
It changed your marriage.
It was just like it was just like your own exploration, or did you have support of like someone else also guiding you through this experience.
I had support of people guiding me through the experience. It may became my mentors, and I ultimately I went to workshops. But ultimately what happened was I took the work that they were teaching in workshops and turned it into online programs. Twenty years ago, when this was just so new and it was their work, I wanted to carry on their legacy. So one of the techniques that I've been teaching for two decades is a c literal
stroking practice called expanded orgasm. There are regular orgasms, there are multiple orgasms. There are extended orgasms, ones where you're coming for a long time, and then there are expanded orgasms. And expanded orgasms are almost like a quantum gasm. They kind of they stack, they get longer, they get more intense, and they're the kind of orgasms where you can touch source, see God, feel you know, feel guy, I feel connection
to all things. They are the ecstatic bliss orgasms. And so I learned that practice and I wanted to carry it on. And I remember when I was first learning the practice, I was coming. So I was like, how long could I come? You know, like can I come for an hour straight? You know, this is what you do when you learn how to come addicted.
Yeah, let's keep got drug.
What's the upper you know, what's the upper possibility? And I called Patty because I was coming so much at that time in my life where I was having like come hangovers and like it was really you know how you get fuck brain and you're like, it's going to
¶ Susan's previously dull sex life, awakening through pleasure, and how orgasmic healing saved her marriage
take me a while to get back into reality. Yeah, And I called her one day and I was like, I am I feel like I am coming to the point where I'm out in the like I'm out in space and I'm on the edge of this cliff and I'm standing on the edge of this cliff and I feel I'm getting goosebumps right now thinking about it. I feel like I should step out, but I'm afraid. Will I come back? Doctor Patti, she was my mentor will I come back? She goes, step out, You'll come back.
Might take you a while to recover, but you'll come back. And that's how I came into like being the orgasmaaut, because it was the stepping out into space, the abyss of pleasure, the abyss of ecstasy that is never ending, because when you you touch source, God, Gaia, whatever you want to call it, you suddenly realize how connected we all are. We are one thing, we are my cellium, we are connected, we are a web of life. And
that was so cathartic for me. I had had a lot of sexual abuse, a lot of traumas, like we all do. You can't live in this shitty, fucked up culture without having those traumas. Even if no one's ever literally put their finger on you and abused you, it's still an abusive culture, especially for women. But it hurts our men too, it hurts us all. And so I that's how I became an orgasmaaut. And then I went on to be like, well, how many kind of clumbs
are there? And like I took my I'm kind of like a sciencey nerd girl, and I just took my sciencey nerdiness and was like, let's see how many ways I could come, Let's keep, let's go. And That's what I've been doing. And then what I essentially do I like cooking, so I liked cook I could give you three or four my best easy recipes. If you need any, let me know, because I like to cook at home. And I wrote the recipes for coming, and that's what
I've been doing. And I think if I look at twenty years of work, I've published forty four books in programs, thirty four of which are my own. My gravestone's going to say she had a lot to say. I just really like to teach people how to come really well. And of all of those, I've written about twenty different kinds of orgasms and exactly how to have them. I give it away for free. I don't even sell that stuff. But my crowning achievement is all my work in orgasmic intercourse,
because that was my core sex wound. Was almost losing my marriage over the fact that I didn't want to have sex anymore because I wasn't coming. And I think there's so many women who are having very minimal orgasmic pleasure, if any, from intercourse. And I love intercourse so much that being able to come really well from it has been such a joy. And I've learned so many great
techniques about orgasmic Intercourse. So for your listeners who are interested, I put them all for free at orgasmic intercourse dot com. Let's keep it simple and if you're not currently coming as well as you'd like to, and you like to fuck and you want to like to fuck even more, that's a good place to start. So that's where the orgasma nat was born.
I love that.
I love that.
Exactly. Always feel like putting a flag on the mid a flag on a pussy.
I was like, the way you're glanted the flag has a pussy exactly.
Exactly.
You mentioned like you mentioned that you have like these step by steps and obviously we know that every woman is different, but so I'm just wondering, like, with that, is there also a piece that because you said you experienced so actual trauma and all these are things because I think a lot of times and not I think, I know that many times for women it's a lot of what's happened to their body, that there's things that are trapped that they can't move through also mentally, So
like is that a piece that you start with or do you go straight from the boty? Do you start with the body or do you start with like the mind and the like energetic body.
I think what I like to do is I like to explain to people. And this is men too. Men can have twenty kinds of orgasms. Like they're kind of lagging in the orgasma orgasma sphere. They're like, well, I know I could have a peace bot orgasm, but I'm not sure I want to touch my butt, you know, Like that's kind of where they are. Most of them. Older guys are much more interested in prostate orgasms, so they know they care about their prostate health. And so
all bodies we are bodies can come really well. And there are three kinds of orgasms. There are locations to touch, Like I can touch my clit and make myself come. I can have intercourse and make myself come. I can have an analgasm. I can have a nipplegasm. I can have a throat gasm, all of.
Those kinds of throat gasm.
Yeah, that's one of my favorite. We can get into that later. And then the second thing is techniques, like an expanded orgasm practice. It's a very specific five clitteral strokes. It's five clitteral strokes that elicit the exact response of this expanded long calm that you get and then you
can stack them and they get even better. Or like female ejaculation, I consider that, yes, you can have, you know, a feat, you can have release your feminine waters, But how do you do that in a way that is cathartic healing, opening releasing to release your amrita, your divine nectar. There are ways to do that that I think are really important, not just what we see on porn, which is just like put the hammer down on our g spot and like, you know, wear your arm out and
she'll eventually shoot out some fluid. Like that's not the right way from my perspective to approach female ejaculation. And then there are objects of desire, which I've brought some for you today, because when you think about objects of desire, it could be you get turned on, getting spanked. You could it could be leather, it could be lingerie, It could be sex toys, it could be you know, some sexy candle wax dripping on you. It could be you know,
sensation play, whatever. And so that's its whole category on its own that creates orgasmic experiences. But that's one thing, like the techniques themselves and all bodies work the same. But here's what gets in the way. And this is the answer to your question, and that is that if you touch any given woman on any place in her body and ask her, like, if I touch your mom's or your clitteral hood or the tip of your clitterists or the entrance your vagina, your introudal sphincter, there's my
sciencey girl nerd shit. You might be like, oh, I love it when you touch the entrance to my vagina. And you might be like, I don't love that. It feels painful or shameful or numb, and so orgasmic activation is understanding that anything that you currently feel is pain, shame, or numbness can be transformed through loving touch and heart
connection into pleasure. And that's how you can activate. You can bring online all of the neural pathways from your genitals, your breasts, your lips, your ass, your belly, like porgasms, footgasms. You can come in so many ways. When you establish the mind body connection, our brain being our biggest sex organ you know, you've got to get the neural pathways established and sometimes re established after traumas like g spot active for healing the enteric nervous system from shame and
¶ What it means to be an "orgasmonaut" and why most women are settling for way too little in and out of the bedroom
abuse and all of those kinds of things. So I think when when people hear about orgasmic activation, they're like, oh, okay, so you mean I'm not like, I'm not born this way. It's not that I can't have a particular kind of orgasm, it's just that I haven't yet. Then you open up all the opportunity for orgasmic cross training. So it kind of is like, Oh, tell me more about that. And that's where I recommend using a lot of different types
of tools. And I brought some to show you anytime you want to activate that tissue, because fingers are great, tongues are great, penises are great, but so are these pleasure tools. Show me the tools about the back. Okay, So I brought a few things. The first first thing that I brought was one of the things I do every year is I do something called my Sex Top Sex Trends, and my top sex trend of twenty twenty five, which is the year we are in right now, was
Yoni massage. Women want Yoni massage. Men are like, I need to know all about Yoni massage. My lady wants Meoni massage, and what do I do? And I really like teaching people a lot of different ideas about how to approach the yoni, but also I like to give them tools to use. And this is one.
That I love.
It's called the Queen. And what I like about it is that it uses this technology called pulse plate technology like this, and it has two motors. It has a trouble and a base in this pulse plate. And what I love about it is that it goes deeper than the skin it and you guys are going to put links to everything, right, okay, good, So anything that I talk about, you'll have a link on your Yeah it's nice. On nipples too, you'll have a link below your videos,
right yeah, okay cool. So I won't worry about exactly where all these things are, who they are. Just remember, if you want the Queen for yoni massage, you'll know it's the Queen.
Little asmar for hear that it's going to be your on.
What is this called the Queen? The Queen?
This is your quick This is your clip on the Queen.
This is your quick.
Quit you'll quit.
And I like that because it activates all that tissue and it penetrates the skin and into the erectile tissue of the pussy, and then blood flow runs in, and then it expands your pussy lips, and then it expands all of the erectile tissue inside your yoni, and then there's more surface area. So everything starts to feel better because you're getting way more signals to your brain because
you're all plumped up. You know how, when you have sex for like the whole weekend, your pussy feels so good on day two or three, like better that it did on day one. This is like day three pussy essentially what it is. It's just it really like plumps it all up.
So I like that.
And then another thing that I really like is this This is called the Curve. And one of the reasons that I like this brand as well is that it's darker colors. And I feel that if I were a black woman with a nice, beautiful, dark skinned vulva, I wouldn't want a light pink toy as my only choice. I would want something that's more like matching my vulva. And so one of the things I like about this particular brand that I'm bringing to you is that it's not all super bright pink colors.
I hate bright pink vibrators, don't, I mean, And I don't know if my vulva is like I mean, I guess it's darker than my natural skin color.
But yeah, and it gets darker as it gets more.
But I don't think it looks stupid. I have used me one yesterday and it was like this light pink one. It actually sucked. I realized I lost my wand I don't know where the fuck it went. My housekeeper, I'm pretty sure, took it out of my suitcase and placed it somewhere.
She just washed it.
She doesn't know what it is, I think, because no, because there's been times where she's put it in my like hair drawer, like where my like my hair products go. Then she's put it where my skin good stuff goes. I don't know where it's at. Maybe she finally figured it out and got grossed down and threw it away. I don't fucking know. But I was looking for it for like an hour yesterday because I was in desperate need of an orgasm, and so then I found this
like lone random vibrator. I have a bag of vibrators are all dead, So I was pissed, and can't find any chargers.
And I like, bring back the battery.
Then I found one. It was the Satisfire some shit, and it was the one like the section remember those one that was like it's called air stimulat, Yeah, the air simulator. And it was like it had it wore. I was like, and I was like, I don't know how long it's gonna work. I had fast and it did, it died and the it died, I was like, I already came, but I was like, I wan't.
To do it again.
And then I did it again and it died in the middle, and I was like it was going. I was like, I guess that's all I get today.
But well, the good news is I brought you some vibrators. You get to do. This is this is SUSY's Sexy show.
And this is right on time. Literally, I was thinking. I was like, we're going to get you on line and buy a vibrator.
Don't do it because most of the stuff that you can buy is garbage. As you've noticed, it's crappy. And so I mean the I've had my curve for so many years and I saw the same one and I use oils it doesn't bother you.
You you use that inside of your is it topical?
So I I love this because it's both. And by the way, I have not used these. There are my demos. I'm not leaving these with you. These everybody touches these things.
You do not.
But it's funny. My girlfriend I was talking to this morning and I had to borrow something to bring here to show you that I forgot, and she she's like, uh, you, well, you know it's no problem. I mean you've literally given me toys that you've already used, and I'm like, I
have it's just pussy juice among friends and water. But anyway, so what I like about the curve is this is a G spot wand wand but it feels fantastic on your clip, in your introidal sphincter, on your in your vestibule, and in your G spot and also just shoving it all up in there, which I love too. And this has base and trouble. So you can get the rumbley vibe and you can get the buzzy vibe, and you can get your perfect mixture. And Pussy's different every day.
She wants something different every day, so I just give her whatever she wants.
Oh, this is the hot octopus.
Yes, And what I love about it is that I like to go down on my partner and give them a blowjob while I I know.
Hello, Hello, is that you? Is that pussy? Is that you?
Yes?
Hear me? Are you ready?
Or I'm always talking to you?
I know It's been a while, but I'm still here.
I'm still like, bitch, where have you been? Yeah?
So I love that one because I love to have internal stimulation while I'm going down on my guy, because I have throat gasms from the stimulation of his cock in my throat, but I also have orgasms from my.
Yoni, so your throat is orgasming. Yeah, And so what is I don't know if I mean, I love I love the second dick, So I don't know, Like, what does it throat gas? Maybe I've had one? What does it feel like?
What does you'd know if you had it? A lot of women they're like, oh, I have a gag reflex. I don't you know, Like I don't really like that. I do not, But your gag reflex is really just the beginning of the orgasmic contraction, and if you relax, you start to have contractions in your throat and your
spit changes over time. Like first it starts out almost like prec really clear and slippery, and then ultimately it gets very like white and foamy, and then you have these contractions and your pussy contracts and your throat contracts at the same time. It's like two ends of the same tube basically. And you can even ejaculate while you're having a throat gasm, Like you can really get extremely massively orgasmic through your whole body from it.
And I know the throat and the pussy like are connected, but I didn't. I didn't even think about having a throat gas at the time. I mean, like yeah, like I know, like when when I choke, then it makes my pussy like exactly right.
If you kind of move through the choke and into like sliding the head of his penis right at the
¶ Susan breaks down over 20 orgasm types, including throatgasms, analgasms, nipplegasms, and more
top of your throat, you'll start and you relax, and you just feel your way into it. You'll start to have orgasms, mouf gasms, throat gasms.
I do like to use it like a like a vibrator. I'm giving head need too, but sometimes I won't stay. You gotta like jest, you know, Oh, I've.
Got something to show you for that too, But before I do, I have another vibrator that I love. This is called the Atom and I like that it's black, which is nice. And this is good for and I'm a little bit of a size queen. I have to admit that, you guys, this is like a cockering. It's a it's a double vibrating cockering. And one of the things I like about this is not for a diminutive penis. This is not but you stick your dick on your balls through there.
Oh okay, I was gonna say, because this is.
Right, you stick your dick down your b birthy there. It is girthy and it's really nice because it has a peraneal vibrator for him, so he gets a vibration under his ball.
Go down here.
Yeah, I'll flip it around.
So this is the bottom. And then this is for you.
No, it's the opposite. Let me show you. It's his dick and balls are shooting out of here. This is tickling underneath his balls. His dick is here. This is where your click goes.
Well, I see, yeah, And.
So this is really good for slides and grinds, especially cowgirl. It's really nice when you're in control and you can kind of go on to that vibrator the way you want it to be on your clip. You can go up and down really easily with it too, which is nice.
See.
Yeah, the other way flip it around, it was.
I had one toy like that was it wasn't a cockering situation. It was like one that goes in like in and the other part stays out, and I just I did not have success with that. So I'm like, I kind of gave up on like all in one toys. Yeah for you know, couples, but maybe.
I try tested one. So yeah, let me know if you want one of those, I'll send it to you.
I also think that sometimes men are really can get really weird around using toys, like they think it's like exclusively for women.
It makes them like if you need it, then they're inadequate or.
Like, well it's it's that. And I also think there's this stigma around this is for they think it's gay.
They just need to be trained.
Everything is good.
I know they're like only gay guys.
Okay, my guys absolutely love toys. As a matter of fact, I'm always like I've got a new toy. We're gonna try, and they're like, oh good, that sounds fun. And a lot of times I'll have sex for a long time with them, have lots of orgasms, and they're done and they've come and I'm like, I got some more in me and I'll just lay back against them. They'll play with my boobs. I'll get out one of my vibrators and give myself a couple more orgasms, and then I am toast.
Wait, talk to me about your guys plural you guys do I do? So you have a husband and a boyfriend, and so they they it's not a separate situation. You guys play together.
We do both.
Oh like okay, so you have your own situation. So how long have you guys been in relationship.
I've been married thirty four years. And my husband and I like some variety. We have an excellent marriage. I love my husband. We are in business together, we have a beautiful daughter. We are a really good couple, and we like a little sexual variety. And I really like having sex with two men. I like having sex. I like having threesomes and foursomes. They're really fun for me. I enjoy it. And by the way, I'm not recommending this for any of your fans and followers. I'm really
not here proselytizing about my relationship. You just asked me. But my job is to have hot sex and tell you how to have it. So what am I gonna do? Fuck the same guy for thirty four years and be like, I know what we're thinking about sex. Every party that you have is they add some wonderful experiences and they're different, you know, they're different. They have different skills, they have different they have different experiences. So I've had I was
telling Mela this yesterday. I've had over a thousand threesomes.
Wow, you are a real threesome expert.
Because and and really I love threesomes. They're my favorite. Four somems are fun. But I love a threesome and I've been having them for twenty years.
You know, it adds up.
And so it's my current boyfriend I've been with for four years and he's a darling and he and my husband are fantastic with me in bed together. You know, we just have so much fun.
Is he younger than you or older?
He's sixty seven, I'm sixty three and my husband's sixty two.
Oh wow. Yeah, okay, And I'm having the best sex of my life.
And is your.
Boyfriend and married as well? Or is he in a relationship? No, he's been married three times. And he's like, that's that's not for me. Honestly, he said, had I known the skills you've taught me, communication skills that you taught me in this relationship, I probably would still be married to my first wife.
Oh wow.
Because I don't just teach hot sex techniques and like what I like to call erootic play dates. I also teach bedroom communication skills, dirty talk, pillow talk, things like that, and I also teach sexual biohacking and sexual regenerative wellness. So it's like the body, the communication, and the techniques are a really well rounded sexual skill set. So I really teach people all three things. Yeah I love that. And we have a new girlfriend and.
How do you how do you sour? How do youriends?
She found my boyfriend on field okay, w on a date and she really liked him, and she showed up. I mean she showed up with a pie, you know what I mean. Like she's like, I would really like to have sex with your boyfriend, and.
She came to your house with a pie of course, what.
A woman, and cane patch for my sore back. She's a doctor and uh so super sweet. Yeah so the so I really liked her and I was like, yeah please that yes, yes you may, but she had to screen in. So I'm the chief advocacy officer of a company called pro dx Health and they're an STI testing company. They do at home tests. So the new generation of STI tests is you get a box sent to your house. You put this little thing, it's called a Tasso collector
on your arm. You don't even have to go get a blood test, you don't have to have a needle, you don't have to do any stuff you have to go anywhere. It's just a it's like a little capsule thing.
¶ The science behind expanded orgasm and why it's not just about sex it's about source
It's almost like a continuous glucose monitor type of a thing. But it doesn't you don't just stick it in so far. It just it literally adheses to your skin and somehow it gets the blood out into a little vial. You send that. You do a little swab.
So it's not a needle though, no it isn't.
It's called a Tasso collector, and you send it back and within twenty four to forty eight hours. You've got organized, easy to read results on your phone.
Wow.
And so she came over and she and my husband and I did our test together because if someone screens into our group, then they have to take this full panel test. And that's what the URL is. By the way, full paneltest dot com will put it on the links below your video because I like people to know where to get everything, because nothing makes people more annoyed as like, where the fuck do I get that?
Talk? Got to go back? Was the timestamp?
Sorry about my big feet sticking out here. So yeah, so she screened in. We had this little like date and she came over for dinner and then we like did our blood tests and we swabbed our genitals and we all did our boxes and we mailed them off and then she was screened in and she's been dating my boyfriend, and uh, then I was like, you know, you're screened in. You if you're interested in being with my husband, you're welcome to do that. He's amazing, you know,
and it would be his joy. He likes variety, he likes you, he's very impressed with you. And and she's like, oh, I definitely want to. And so the other day she came over and she had her first date with him, and it was so cute because at the time my friend was over rubbing my back. So I've had this back damn back problem. It's going away. I'm feeling better today.
I swear when I sat with Mila at Lunchester day, she made me so happy to talk to her that it like cured my back, like I'm eighty percent better and the doctor struggling for two weeks. Because she's so precious, holistic, it was so nice just to be with her. I just loved her so much. So she came over and I was getting a back massage and I heard her go into the room.
My husband.
I set up the whole bedroom for them. I made it really nice. I made this little silver bowl that was my grandmother's full of like some things I have brought you that I'm going to show you, and laid it by the bed and set everything up with the fascinators on, and did the whole thing, all the pillows and all the things that made it really nice in there.
And so they were in there and I went outside after my massage and I was laying out in my front yard on my chaise lounge, naked, getting some sun, eating some chocolate chip cookies, strolling threads, which is what I do. And I am like a massively progressive political nut and so like, I have to see what the fuck is going on in our society right now. You know, I'm always like, oh god, the latest horrible.
Thing, got it.
And so I was listening to them making love, and I was listening to my husband. He was giving her Yoni massage, he was given her an expanded orgasm date, and then they were making love, and I heard him talking her through the whole thing and encouraging her, telling her how pretty she was, telling her how pretty, or pussy was noticing it, getting like more full and rich
and you know, velvety and like all this stuff. And then he started telling her like fantasy stories about how he and my boyfriend were gonna have so much fun with her and all this stuff, and she was like moaning and coming. I'm just sitting out there's girl and threads. Listening to her come was so nice. I enjoyed it so much. And later she's like, I knew you were sitting out there because she told us she were sitting out there and she's like, I knew you could hear me,
and it was really turning me on. And it's like that's a good partnership where you know, she she can come over. Sheould bring a pie or something, you know, or some line Kane patches or whatever and help mommy out and will we make love? Yeah, we probably will. I'm a little slower. I'm not at on the scale of like how straight or why am I? I'm more
like a sapio sexual. I fall in love with the person, and so I just have really enjoyed her, enjoying my partners and how great and kind she's been and how lovely she's been, and so I feel like it just adds so much to my life, like it just works
for us. And I have a daughter too. We're all moms. Yeah, we all love our baby girl girl mom girl mom's and my daughter's twenty eight, and she loves my boyfriend and she loves my husband and she knows and if she watched this podcast, but she wouldn't, but if she did, she'd be like, yeah, that that about sounds like my mom?
You know how fine with that? Because you guys entered into this dynamic twenty years ago. Right, So your daughter was eight or wherever it is.
Eight eight?
So how was that?
I never told her? Okay, we never did anything in front of her. But when she was about twenty years old, she goes, mom, are you and dad in an open relationship? And I go yeah, and he goes okay, And that was all she wanted to know.
She knew a little bit, but she probably had language for it.
Yeah, she was like, okay, are you in an open relationship? And I was like, yeah, we are. She goes okay, but.
She knew the work that you did, so she did so she probably knew before that for a while and maybe like finally got the confidence to ask.
We know how our kids don't really give a shit what we do.
You know, I don't know yet. My daughter's tin it's to be seen.
Yeah, they're in their own life. Yeah, in their little la la land, and that's where we want them to be, to be like Rainbow Sparkle, pony shit, that's what we want them to be. Were not who mommy is fucking And so we were never you know, out and you know, in that way in front of her. But we do travel, like my boyfriend goes with my husband and I to a lot of places, and our daughter goes along. Like we are a happy family. We're very kitchen table Polly.
I heard you guys talking about polyamory and monogymy on, what was that adorable guy who came on? Uh uh Fontaine?
What was his first names?
So cute, so cute, so cute. But yeah, when you had your party Fonteine episode, and you guys were all like ethical one other kind of nominogamy with it, Like I know they're just words, but we have ethical nominogamy. We are kitchen table Polly. We are one big, happy table.
Polly.
Is like, you eat dinner together, you know you you go on vacations together, you have Christmas together, Like that's just what we do. Are you public, Polly, Yeah, well girl, I'm on your no.
I mean, like when you're out and about, are you like kissing your boyfriend kissing?
It just depends. Here's my thing. I don't want to trigger anybody ever about anything like That's the last thing I want to do is make somebody feel uncomfortable. And so I know that's why when I started talking about this, I was like, I am not recommending this for you. This is high stakes shit. I am a trained professional, like I have. I have done the work. I am sixty three years old, I have gone through a lot of shit, and so I'm not here recommending it for anybody.
It just works for us. We just like it. It suits us. So and how long will our girlfriend be in our polypod screen?
Eddy, I don't know.
I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about creating joy pleasure connection community, you know, with people who are like minded, open, who love to make love and have great pleasurable times, you know, and eat homemade food which I like.
I didn't like to eat, and fun.
Yeah, that's what I know. It's I like to eat, I like to I like to fuck, I like to ride my mountain bike. I like to sleep.
Those are that is a very good.
Mountain biking.
Homemade homemade food I hear specifically, chocolate, cookies, threads.
Sound like my type of gow. Honestly, I'm gonna come over, need you for sure?
Maybe I'd like my type of parties, costumes, lingerie, cookies.
Oh and one more thing sor right, So I gotta can I show you a couple more things? I really I'm like such a Santa.
I mean, I just kept sex Santa.
I am a sex Santa. So do you want to see my I love to get fucked up in fuck? Or do you want to see my favorite new I love that I can say fuck as much as I want. Or do you want to see my new fucking sex.
Toy I love to get fucked up in fuck.
Okay, let's get fucked up and fuck. Then I'll show you the sex toy.
Do it.
So this is a brand that I fell in love with. So one of the things that I do is I I moderate panels at the x Biz show on sex tech. I'm a sex tech nerd. I'm a sciencey nerd. And when I was at the show, I met this company Nude, and I fell in love with their vapor djix.
I really like that.
So I have a supplement company, and I have sexual vitality supplements, libido botanicals, and I have been studying indigenous wisdom for libido botanicals, going back as far as as the written word and beyond. We we humans, we hopo sapiens. We have been running around on this earth, licking plants, looking for shit that gave us a boner. Clip boner, dick boner, you name it. Forever. We love to feel
¶ Yoni massage, the Queen vibrator, and why most sex toys are designed without Black women in mind
turned on, and so my favorite turn on is cannabis, but I love it when it's mixed with libido botanicals, and that's what they do. So what I have here is I have the vapor djias. They have them for men and women.
It is cannabis too.
It's cannabis and mixed sex vape. It's a sex vape and I did that. Feel free to have a puff off either one fashion fruit ones.
I think.
That one's strubb. There's many flavors, and what I love about them is that they they they get oh take the lid off. They get the flavors from the terpenes. So they use only essential oils and terpenes for flavoring. It's all natural ingredients. I love that. So they're not they don't use butane or any of that nasty shit either. They have really clean formulations. I'm a c I don't put anything in my pussy or my body that isn't clean.
That's so that's just what I like. And so they have those, and they have these really nice pre rolls and they do like blue lotus and rose hips. They get singles and got they've got really not. It's a little harder to open joints.
Yes, sex joints, Well, where have they been my whole life? It's next me my favorite two things.
You know why I wanted to show up.
Cannabis and sex.
Give me some more.
Exactly it could be if it's not coming out, it might be cold.
You just have to suck on it.
It's rolled in raw paper exactly. And then they also have these sex bites. So these are really strong. These are Delta nine plus Labido botanicals.
Oh, there you go.
If anybody buys them, do not eat a whole one. I'm looking right at the camera right now. I know where the camera is because you my new little girlfriend when I had my Grandma's silver platter and I had some sex biz.
On whole one. But what happens if you a whole one?
But we went out for tacos after and then we went to see Sinners, which was fantastic. Have you guys seen it? Yes, Oh my god, it was so good. And my husband originally he was like, I'll have the tacos, but I'm gonna just go home. And then of course they ate the whole of the sex bites and he's like, well, I'm going to sinners with you because I can barely move.
Can you please roll me into the movie theater?
Oh eat a quarner. He was so fucked up. So I love those things. And they make them for men and they make them for women. And they're labida botanicals, so afrodisiacs with cannabis. That's a very good combination.
Yeah, so intrigued. I'm so glad.
And then these are gummies that don't have any can us in them. They are only the libido bit botanicals. And these are capsules that only have labida botantic What I want to know, what are the libido botanicals. There's like, uh, there's horny goat weed, there's cordis SEPs. There's you can probably read it with your young.
Eyes Guama, yeah, baron wart yes, longfolia, yeah.
Longefolio, that's tongueketlly yeah, steps yeah, cordyceps is the mushroom complex and so uh they work really really well. Don't you love my little balls?
I love those.
Just more of the same.
I'm always wondering about female enhancers because you always see viagra.
I always see like the hunt for the guys. You always right at the liquor store. They're always like, what is like?
What are like?
What are the symptoms of like a female enhancer working? Because I like for men, it's like your dick gets hard.
Well, clip boner. You get a clip boner and you get wet, and you get turned on and you feel good and you're in your body and you get horny's.
About five minutes.
Be careful. That's pretty strong, okay, just so you know you'll be you'll be stoned all day if yes, the stone. That's what I like about the vapordis ax is like you take a sex gummy, you take a sex bite, but it's gonna take an hour for the edible to kick in. Right, Only take a quarter. Even though you smoke a lot of pot I smoke a lot of pot.
I, only take a quart. I mean, I gotta be careful with edibles in general. They hit me my body is like.
But you can take a couple of hits off the vapordisiac just to get things going while the edibles kicking in, and you can take the libido botanicals. The capsules are good for the weekend. The gummies are good for the night, so the capsules are super saturated. They actually cook the ingredients in a way that makes them very bioavailable.
So basically they work all week.
Yes, exactly.
Wow, all right, I have.
Now that we're fucked up, let's fuck.
Okay, let's fuck. Come on, let's get.
Too So here you go. Can you pass it down? Yes, thank you. Here you got me that. Open it up. I'm gonna show you what it is. You'll have to stick your finger, your beautiful fingernail in there, but they're probably strong, so you can do it. Good, good job, perfect, yes, good climax together. Yes. So this is a Dutch company and it comes with two parts. Yeah. Just take that little thing out. Yep. That's this little thing that's a
handheld piece. And then there's straps in there that you can strap on as well.
Oh wow, yep.
And so you can just hold it on your clid if you want to. It's a vibrator.
Wait this, yes, but oh my god, they stick together.
They do because they're magnetic. Get the straps out this, nope, go in there a little further. Dig deeper, erica, dig deeper this yeah, okay, oh wait, there's silicone pads. And then are there some straps in there?
No, I don't see straps. Where's your straps? This is not a strap.
No, let me see those things. Let me see that these are the silicone pads. Is so weird.
Huh.
I don't know why there's no straps of mind had straps in it? Are there straps in New Yorks?
No?
Oh, well they come to straps. All I ask about that because this is a new product for me that I am really out in love with. I think it is. But anyway, that little thing cops on your mons and it goes like this, so the point where the real action is goes down and you hold it. It kind of goes up here. You can use the silicone pad to pop it on there. I don't know where the hell of straps one or the straps.
Around your thighs.
Yeah, wait this what does this do?
That's the silicone pad that goes on here. And then it's like sections. So it's up here on your mons. So your vagina is open, so you're you know, you can get in and this is a proximity sensor to this. So this goes on your man's penis. And let me just take this little let me take this little thing off. So I just think these things are so fun.
That looks like it might be tight this time. What we need for the couple stretches.
I know it stretches. And this goes on his penis. It doesn't vibrate. It's a proximity and it'll go on. It just goes on his penis. And this is good for guys of any size.
So when you use this, are you supposed to put your penis and your balls inside just your peniska that just.
Goes at the base of your shaft and then as he is fucking you, as he gets closer and deeper inconnects. No, it just makes the vibrator. E turn on the vibrator, press the button internal the vibrator as it as it
¶ Thrust-in-time: a Taoist technique to make intercourse more orgasmic and deeply connective
starts to vibrate as you move the penis proximity thing. Yeah, it's on.
Look feel so okay? So this goes yes, yes, And this goes on the.
Guy and as he gets closer, it'll go there's an app and it could be that I have to make it go to the proximity thing. It could be that. But as he goes in and out, is it doing it?
Okay?
Good? I know, and I love that because it is exactly It is exactly what you said.
You get more I'm getting? Is it doing it? Maybe to turn on a little bit lower?
Can I just throw this on this over here? Okay? Good? So it goes nice and high too, And it's super fun because I have this technique called thrust in time that is really good. You know. I like to help women come from intercourse. That that's if you just want to hold it on your clip, you just slide that on the whole thing and you just you can just hold it.
If you want to use the straps, put this on here, yeah, like I get it.
Yeah, keep going.
Oh and you just hold it with your fingers.
Yeah, and then you could just have like this. I gotta find out about those straps. Is because I like the hands free.
Where's the shops they go run your side?
Yeah? Wait, this goes down right, this goes yeah? Okay okay, so then this is and.
Then he goes in and out And I teach men this fucking technique. I trust in time. It's an ancient Daoist practice. I know you like your your energy things. It's an ancient Daoist practice that helps men last as long as they want. It's a stamina technique. But what it also does is it toggles the female sympathetic parasympathetic nervous system so that she comes better and harder, or
even comes for the first time. And the way that she does is that he uses a series of short, shallow strokes and long deep slow strokes, and he does it kind of on a ten count where he'll do nine shallow strokes and one deep stroke, and then he'll do eight shallow strokes and two deep. Oh, you got the rhythm. And when he does that, at first, he's consciously incompetent, right, He's like counting, but he's not counting. I'm like, don't count out loud. We know you can,
we know, we know you got there. But he just gets that idea of shallow and deep strokes. And when he does, by the time he gets to four or five deep strokes, you are going to come because it the way that it's toggling the nervous system, it's making your pussy reach for it. Like when you want one more long deep stroke, you want it so bad, and then you needs back to the short strokes and you're like.
God, nerve, we want we'll right, and so.
Your pussy's gonna be like you come, you just come. And so combining this fun little clip vibrator with the proximity thing with the thrusting path ship, thrust in time, thrust time I'll put I'll put a link under for a thrust and it's a thrust in time dot Com like I have. So I have the world's.
Websites do have I have?
I got like fifty and I love to name ship. I have the best collection of you r L in the world. I mean my brand is better lover dot com. That's my brand. That's a good brand, right, So, I mean I just love I'm my husband. I'm like, I need to buy another u ur L. He's like, okay, what's this one gonna be?
What a good team exactly?
Anyways, So fun fun, fun.
Right, Yeah, yeah, very grateful. This is good and I'm going to thrust in time tonight.
Yes, I want to hear about it.
Yeah, this is pretty This technology here is they're getting getting really amazing.
Isn't that cool?
This is cool?
Yeah?
They better send me my damn straps.
Yeah yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'll learn about that.
It's a pretty like you could just I feel like this is like very like you could hold it profile. Yeah, it's a low profile, like I have a mushroom and I'd be like, excuse me, hold on, Kate, can you back up a little bit?
Trying to get my friend in here. So it's basically a threesome. I love that vibrator.
I hate that thing.
Why it just doesn't do anything. I like a strong vibe.
I do not like that.
I don't that was like for some Yeah, that same company makes this. This is another one that.
I also like really hard massages. So I just.
Feel like I like a hard massage, but I don't want a hard vibration of my cla.
You know what I also don't like.
I don't like very hard jacuzzi jets for an extended time. It makes me like it give it to me hard, baby, Like I like a hard massage, a hard vibration.
One of the things I like about this particular wand because if you like, if you like a lot of vibration, you generally would air toward a wand because wands no.
Why do you think I was pissed I couldn't find a fucking wand exactly.
And so what I like about this is that it and it's from the same company. I'll put a link below to this wand. It's called the pro wond. And what I like about it is that you know how wand heads are big.
Some of them, I mean mine is small. I have a magic wand and it's like a yeah, MANI magic.
What I like about this is you can put that in your pussy.
Oh really, yes, it's a slide right.
In your pussy. I mean, look at it. It's not that big, and so it's kind of like a wand. But when you tease your introidal sphincter, when you know the round muscle that is the opening to your vagina. When you tease it and then you slide that right in the entrance to your vagina, you're getting your G spot and you're getting that sphincter muscle which loves pressure. It has mechano receptors. So that's why we love the feeling of a cock sliding in our pussy.
Even the G spot, I think people think that it's very deep on the top end.
I think people assume G spot is some are very deep in the that and it's actually more in the entrance.
Yep. Yeah, So anyway, that's a nice product from that particular brand too. I am always looking for a nice lightweight, super strong.
And this is a light way.
You're like, it's not way you can use it when you're fucking you.
If you get pulled over by TSA. It's not so traumatic.
That's why I like my little one small screen.
I'm sure you'll find it, honey, I'm sure it's still around. It's gone some of the internet.
Yeah, see that. That is the one thing I don't like about the wand I prefer sex toys that are darker. That's why I liked what I brought you today because I don't want bubble gum in my pussy. You know, I just don't know.
I like black. It's my favorite color one of them. Anyway, Yeah, that bubble gum in my pussy.
Yeah yeah, Wow, this was lovely. This is These are beautiful things that I didn't know I need it. I'm so excited to try this today.
Yeah. I like to have a lot of like accoutrement to my love making, but I also like to just you know, ascend into bliss with nothing, and so like I'm a very equal opportunity lover that way where sometimes I just want bodies, maybe more than one, and sometimes I want fun toys, weed, vibrators, bells and whistle things, and it's all on the table. When you get it all on the table, then you're starting to have some fun. Then you're not like, oh, should I use this? Will this make it so I can have?
No?
No, it's gonna make you. It's gonna activate your orgasms. It's gonna make you come better. The more toys you have, the different places you stimulate, getting all that pussy online, it's just gonna make you come better even when you're not using them.
And different types of orgasms.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, Well, thank you for bringing all of these amazing toys, Santa.
Our sex life in an hour. Wow.
This really came in the nick of time, because literally yesterday, when that stupid fucking vibrator died on me, I was like, Okay, well it's time to buy some new ones. And here I am.
What do you like? What do you want? What do you want? Pleasure? Give me your orders so I can have them sent. What what's appealing to you?
Well, I mean this is appealing because I wanted to I want I realized I didn't have I had this other thing to try, but I didn't want to try. I wanted to try something with my partner. This was this is great. I'm excited to use that.
And they love when they're plunging into you and they see you going. You know, I feel so happy.
So yeah, and then yeah, I mean this wand is always going to.
Be okay, so wond you got it.
I'm really excited about this another one. I want to have more to do with my partner.
Yeah, and toys.
Have you you've played with toys?
Yeah?
And I love seeing his dick and his balls squirting out of that thing.
I've never got that thing.
I never used. I had a cock ring and then one time I pulled it out not with this guy, and he got mad and a cockering. Yeah that's just like shoot.
It basically thinks that dick is soft and you're trying to help him. But if you were, it was, which is why he was triggered.
It was.
Do you know I'm the Queen of Pean This is one of my other names because I love orgas Queen a pen because I am the woman who has helped almost twenty thousand men learn how to use a penis pump for reversing atrophy, improving a rectile function, and even male enhancement, which is make your dick bigger, which all guys wanted bigger dick.
You know that ladies put your husband on, put your boyfriend on, exactly. I mean, that's obviously I think that. I think a lot of women too, Like I know, for me, like when I was experiencing this in a relationship, granted I was in my twenties, and so I just didn't even know how to talk to him about this. And yeah, at first I thought it was me. I was like, yeah, I always think it's I was like,
is it me? What the fuck? And then come to find out it's not me at all, because we have spoken to other women about this particular person and it's not us. But I think there's a lot of shame for men too, because there's I mean, they're supposed to just get hard, like that's their only fucking job, right, and they can't even do that well.
Well, But it's also like it's it's not a big deal.
But if you if we can talk about it, if we can talk about it, and we can just like talk about it, we can have solutions, we can ask Susan, we can do the heart filled things. But like, if you are so defensive and triggered by us even considering like this can be better for you.
And for me, then how the fuck are we supposed to improve.
It's like men have such a sensitivity because there's so much ego tied into performance and boners and.
Like, you know, like let's just talk about it.
Let's but if you're not willing to seek the assistance to get better, I mean even when you're like a lot of times just talking about I'm not coming, you know, like how did that conversation go with your husband after twelve years of marriage and you're like, I'm not orgasming. Like some guys could take that so personally and be like, fuck you bitch. Everybody loves this dick, you know, which they most do, and you're like, no, you're lying. I
just talked to the girl last week. But it's like if you just have the if you're expanded enough, you feel safe enough. And that's another thing I feel like to women always talk about their safety and how like we can come in our orgasms get larger as soon as we feel safe and our nervous systems are like, you know, and a good place. But I think men
¶ Why Susan loves sex toys that vibe with your partner, not just beside them
also really require safety, and it's like, I don't think women really talk about that different.
You know.
Yeah, we're the same, but the.
Parts arranged in different orders exactly.
And it's just like I think that women also forget that men have to feel comfortable and safe in the conversation of how can we improve this because they are sensitive as fuck, more sensitive than women as we know, yeah, yeah, you know, and we have to like and we have to learn the language of like affirming them while also saying there's room for improvement, you know, because it is a sense of subject. Everybody wants to think they're a
sex god, and everybody's not. Most of us aren't because we haven't been taught.
There's so much to learn. I mean, I've been literally focused on learning about sex for two decades straight, and I constantly learn new things, and I'm constantly incrementing my skills and my ability and my orgasmic potential and all kinds of things. So that's one of the things I love about sex. If sex were brand, its tagline would be sex There's always something more, and it never and that's one of the things that my mentor who taught me to be an orgasmonaut. She's like, don't worry, baby,
You'll never run out of things to try. It's there's always more. And she's she's in she's pushing her eighties now, and she's still got a great sex life.
Really.
Yeah, I speak from stage a lot about sex span. Why extending your sex span.
Extend your life self span? Well, and you like your health and your life or your happiness. Yeah, yeah, I definitely I understand that. I agree with that.
Does she have a partner?
Yes too?
Who's who's old? Who's old? Are they older too?
Yeah?
My grandma told me before she passed, blessed her heart, she said, And she's a Christian.
She said, God cursed us. Oh, I said, what do you mean. She's like, I still work fine, everything works fine.
Yeah, but the men they don't work well. I have a whole regenerative stack that I recommend for men so that they have a bang and boner for their whole life.
That was the only always be reversed.
That's literally the only negative thing I ever heard my grandmother say about God. That's the only negative thing I've ever heard to come out of her Christian mouth and right and before she died, she told me listen when I die, I went, I was like, what she's like. I was like, She's like, I want to tell you about something. I was like, oh my god, she's gonna give you money. She's gonna tell me what the stashes. She's like, in my room there's a Crown Royal bag. Next to my bed.
There's a wet bag Crown Royal bed.
Oh yeah yeah.
I was like, oh my god, I'm the only granddaughter. I'm going to have the money. She was like, it's my vibrators. Throw it away.
She was like, I don't want your aunt to find them. She's so square.
And God and thank God. When I was there and I was like crying and I was like, let me go Royal.
Shelly had one wish. I was looking through a ship and then I found it.
What kind of vibrad?
I didn't go I'm dying to know what.
I didn't go very deep in back, guys. I just like I just confirmed it was in there.
There was like I think it's like the want and I just laughed and also threw it away.
But for that to be her last request and for.
It to be a me I was, I know, I mean I never told anyone that, but I just thought only my grandmother would have such a request.
So I have a request yet, I'd like to end. I know, we need to bring this to a clothes
¶ Grandmas use vibrators too
Such a nice time with you too.
I enjoyed it so really pleasure, Thank you.
I wanted to know if we could do hashtag mom brags.
Oh yeah, I would like.
I would like to hear something you're really proud of your daughter about.
Hmmm, would you like to go first?
Sure?
Luna is ten, and you know what, I'm really proud that she's developing and like coming into her womanhood.
She is sad, and she's very like level headed.
That's nice.
She's very clear.
She's like, you know, one of the teachers at school told me, you know, I have to tell you about her. She and I don't know what I thought she could tell me, And I asked her what was she gonna tell me?
She was like, I don't know.
She was just saying, like some of the girls, they're like acting weird and sometimes we will play, sometimes we don't, but like I'll just basically I'll remove myself, you know, like she's like, I just ill good.
She'll play myself.
Yeah, She's like, I'm good, and she can remove herself, and like it really seems like she doesn't take it so personally, and it's just like I think I remember at an age, but you know when friends start, you know, getting catty, just feeling sad. But I just feel like she's like very clear about who she is and what she wants. And I feel like it's like, wow, you're
pretty emotionally you know, like expansive at this age. And it makes me like very proud to know that she made me some of the work I hope that I've done to plant seeds that is like, you know, starting to develop in a way that's meaningful that I see like conversations I didn't have with my parents and just her. Oh, if I was there, I would have said, you know, like she's very I don't know, matter of fact, and
I love it and she's hilarious. So I'm like really enjoying her developing as like always been my best friend, but really like knowing that if we met in a different life and you weren't my child, I would really enjoy you.
Nice. She's sovereign she's self possessed. I love that. Boy, that's the kind of girls we want to raise, right, Sovereign at ten is what we need, sovereign from the minute we come out of the womb, you know, to support that in our daughters, and to see that in your daughter, that's lovely.
Yeah, I love that. I'm very proud.
Yeah, me too. I'm proud for her.
Yeah, I love her so much.
I get a contact proud high. I like mom brags.
I think I'm I think I'm really proud of how compassionate my daughter is. I think that I've I know that about her, but hearing it from other people like I recently too, I had a parent teacher conference and just like hearing her teacher express to her how fair
she is. Oh nice, Because she's in a phase in her friendship circles where there's a lot of they're like kind of getting into like the mean girl moments of their life and like the division, and she doesn't go for it good and she stays out of trouble, like she's not gonna follow the pack and just see fuck around and find out. Yeah she's gonna be like yeah, I don't think so, I'm gonna remove myselfles same with
like what she just said. In that way, I also think, like, you know, me and my daughter too are like are on a journey right now of like learning how to express emotions, and it's been like it's been for me, I think challenging because like when they say, like your children are your mirrors, like I've of course I've experienced that, but I'm very much experiencing that right now in this moment with her, because as a young girl, I had a really hard time expressing my emotions and I realize
how I still maybe have that you do. You run deep,
¶ Cannabis and your libido
and so.
I can tell I could tell at the minute I met you you run deep. There's a lot going on, but you don't show it. It takes you a while to show.
Yeah, i have a lot of scorpio in my chart, and I'm just an observe. I'm an observer, so I like to observe and then and I decide how much I want to share. And I think that I see that in her as well. But I also see like we've been having a lot of conversations over the last week and that I met a beautiful point in our relationship where like I have the opportunity to shift that and she's open to it, and I wasn't sure if she was going to be And so we had a
call with our community. Shout out to our Discord community. You guys like really showed up for me the other day on Zoom because I was having a really hard time and I was feeling really emotional about it and like feeling lost, like what the fuck do I do? Like how do I do this? I don't have the tools. I thought I had the tools. I don't have the tools.
And they gave me a lot of great advice. And I talked to her about it the other day about like just some things I want to implement and just like our every day mom practices, mom and daughter practices,
and she was open to it. She didn't resist it, she wasn't scared by it, and so I just I think I really appreciate just like how open she is to wanting us to be closer and better and she's not I think I'm I'm lucky that she's at an age too where she's ten and there's still that desire for mommy, you know, like I've caught it at a good age, Like she's not not a good age. I was saying, like, if you have a fourteen or fifty
year old, it's too late. But like I think that there's still this like malleableness that she that she has this curiosity that she has. So I'm excited that I get to do that with her, and she is like my she's my little friend. She's my friend, and I'm just grateful that I get to like do life with her in this life and that she's teaching me because I realize, like, fuck, we're learning together. I really don't know. Jamila asked me the other day, like what would you
have wanted in that moment? And I was like, bitch, I don't know. That's the problem. And so I'm figuring it out now and I feel like it's helping me heal something in my little like little Erica through her. So I'm just I'm grateful that I get to do that with her.
Oh that's so sweet. What was the best piece of advice she got from your discord grouped?
She started a journal with her?
Oh yeah, I thought that was a really good.
Like start a journal like with each other, like so like I write something, she writes something. It doesn't have to be heavy at first, like something light. My friend also, she works with kids. I was talking to her on the way here and she was saying that I should have. She's like, have you ever had a feelings wheel? And I was like, what a feel What's a feeling wheel?
She's like a wheel where there's like thirty different feelings and like you, she picks how she feels today and she like she's able to identify it because sometimes like you don't even know how to identify what you're feeling. And I was like, bitch, I need a feelings wheel.
Yeah, like Orlando has one as a screensaver.
Yeah.
I was like, I need a feelings well because.
We're not really trying.
Our language is so limited, and I think we were thinking I can speak English, I can read And it's like when you ask about emotions, it's like angry, sad, stressed, anxious, pissed off, really pissed off, you know, like furious, fear, scared.
But they really don't they don't extend much out of that.
Like there's like probably like if we had a test right now, like as fast as you can write down twenty feelings, we're probably gonna cap out at like fucking twenty five each. I mean, unless you've been studying your feelings less, it's probably less.
So it makes me realize like even you're like, oh, how was school and they're.
Like good, yeah, and you're like wanting more, but you don't know the questions to ask. It's like that is the most telling sign that we're all out of language, including our ten year olds, including our thirty seven year olds. Like if you don't expand in that way, like damn, I realize I don't have a lot of ways to express my emotions and that leaves me limited and limited in my expression and how I share and let people in.
And then you don't like take the extra step to be like let me go fucking look and then tell my kid this at this early age so she's not
stuck or feeling stuck at this age. It's like there's a learning that we have to continue to indulge in as adults, specifically with language, so that we can connect with other people in our communities in like an adequate way, and that we don't really do adult it's not like promoted and so like it's limited in the bedroom and your relationships and with your kids, and then they just repeat the cycle because we're teaching them the all ten feelings.
We know.
Yeah, oh, I love that. That's great. The journaling thing is a neat idea.
I like the wheel, like getting a physical one and then making it everyday thing so it doesn't feel like when we're in when something's big, then you the only time we pull it out where it's like okay, like what if you kept it in the car and every time you pick up from school you're like tell me how was today? You know, like make it a practice.
I like that.
Yeah, I love that. That's so great. Yeah all right.
Hashtag to the shows mom bragged by mom.
I know exactly. Hashtag mom brag. Let's get them. My daughter's twenty eight and she didn't ever feel like she did well in school and now she has a full ride scholarship to get a PhD. I gave her a DK eyewitness book on sharks when she was like seven or eight years old, and she's like, Mom, this is amazing.
And she became a marine scientist. All these years, and just recently she had applied for a Fulbright scholarship and she has been helping her friends in Africa apply for scholarships like she figured out how to do it, and she's spoken on climate change climate change conferences and done a lot of work in Africa, and so she was really wanting this Fullbright scholarship. And I was worried with.
The current administration that all that shit got wrecked with DOGE and all the wrecking ball of what's going on with our USAID and all of those kinds of things.
And I was like, Babe, you're not going to get that. She's like, Mom, don't be so negative.
I still have helpe.
And I'm like, all right, but I'm just trying to be reasonable, like I just don't think the full Brights are going to be happening right now.
She calls me and.
She's like, guess what I got. They have given her twenty six thousand dollars and to do her dream, which is to go to Tanzania and to work with the fisher folks of the reef coastal reef communities, which it's mostly women that do the commerce. And she is setting up a sea cucumber fingerling baby aquaculture farm with these women and they are going to grow sea cucumbers and release them out on their reefs and when they grow up on the reefs. They can sell them to the Chinese,
who buy them for their longevity biologics. The Chinese like them because it makes them and there are longevity biologics and sea cucumbers. The problem is that the reefs have been decimated by people trying to feed their kids, selling
off the sea cucumbers and not replacing them. And so she's setting up an aquaculture farm with on Zanzibar off the coast of Tanzania as her one point oh to prove that this can be replicated all over the world, because she said, I can try to save the reefs as a marine scientist, but what I gotta do is I gotta I gotta fix the poverty on the shores. It's not the reefs, it's the poverty on the shore.
They're gonna just keep going. I was watching some sort
of like it was a documentary. It was like a it's like a short documentary about something similar to that, where they were like like the locals or the local fishermen, some of them ethically fish, where they literally just go down there and swim and like spearfish, and then some of them just let off bombs ye and they're just letting off bombs for just like because they need to feed their families and they need to just get a bunch of shit at once, and it's totally damaging.
They're putting just kill everything and take it up.
Yeah yeah, okay, yeah, it breaks all the carl. It ruins everything. So I love that she is focused on lifting up the indigenous people, not being She's like, I'm not going to be a scientist coming in and telling the local people what the fuck to do. I'm going to go empower them so that they can live a better life and take care of the thing that they've been living off of for eons. And so I'm just so proud of her, and I'm just so happy she got that scholarship. But I'm so glad I was wrong
and she was right. And I say it because it
¶ Ethical non-monogamy, kitchen table polyamory, and how she manages a husband and a boyfriend with her daughter's full knowledge
was that DK book that started it all and the fact that I never would let her give up her dreams and that she I never let her think she was stupid, even if she thought she was, I was like, girl, you're not.
They're so hard on themselves.
They're so hard on themselves, and so having our young women be able to show other young women what is possible That's what makes me so happy. And that's what I love about mom brags. It's like when you when I hear what you're doing with your daughter, when you hear what I'm doing with my daughter, When we when we get the opportunity to share that with your audience, that's that's that just lifts up everybody. That lifts up all women. And when we lift up women, we lift up everybody.
Amen, because we run the world.
Like Beyonce said, okay, wait before we get out of here, three things. Oh okay, do you have an affirmation that you can share with her audience. I feel like you've said a lot of them, just like right now. But I'm just wondering if you have something that like maybe you know, motivates you or maybe it's motivated your daughter to just keep going or get you out of a rut.
Yeah. I have like like a saying that I've said to myself my whole life, and it was from Janice Joplin. Yeah, and I'm a sixties girl, you know, So it's don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.
Don't compromise yourself, You're all you've got. I love that.
Love that Next because we can't leave this episode without you're sharing a horror story. I don't know if you did it.
Did you say horror not horror?
No kind of a combo deal. It could be like a horrific horror story.
Like it's usually just when you're like really horing out. You're a top notch ob like a top notch.
I think I'm the top not just hoe now, I mean I kind of think that. Yeah, I meet my chocolate chip cookies. Listening to my girlfriend get fucked by my husband. I'm enjoying it with all her little goodie bowls. I think that was a pretty good horse story.
That was a pretty good one.
You're right, You're right. That was a good horse story. Okay. And so lastly, then you pulled the four of cups.
It's Tarot time, guys, time.
Susan pulled the four of cups.
It's like a man sitting by a tree contemplating his three cups in front of him, and there's just one cloud cup from the sky giving his fourth cup, which is I don't know, is that God, is that an angel? It's just a cloud hand very interesting. The fourth cups. When the fourth cups return turns up in a tarot reading. New invitations and opportunities are flowing to you, but for now you're saying no and turning them away.
Perhaps to prospects.
The prospects do not interest you, or your cup is full, or you already have too much on your plate. Use your discernment to decide on what is truly important to you, and don't be afraid to decline new projects that don't align with your future path. The four of cups can also indicate a time when you are turning your attention and your energy internally to realign to this new phase of your life. You might need to be standing on terra firma before you can decide where your next steps.
While you may need to decline some very alluring opportunities, you do so knowing you will be in a better position to say yes to the opportunities that are a better fit for you. You're creating the space within yourself so that you're ready to accept new opportunities later and give them the best possibility of success. Use this time for inward reflection, grounding, and contemplation before accepting the big thing.
Yeah, that's exactly what's going on for me. That's why I started that intimacy alliance with all of our fellows experts because my cups are running over getting a lot of opportunities now, which is wonderful. It only took me work in my ass off for decades, you know, that's how it works. And I have so many good things coming into me that I wanted a place to say, can you would you like this one? Would you like this one? Would you? Because I can't do them all?
And that's my real joy. My real joy isn't that the opportunities come in.
It's that I.
Can channel them to people that I am lifting.
Up with me overflow.
Yeah.
So that's what I'm doing with my flow right now, is I'm I'm I'm letting it flow out beautiful. Yeah, and that brings me the most.
Joy, wonderful And yeah, you've been so kind and just showing up happy and beverly and ready to get all your toys like Santa Claus.
So I'm grateful. Thank you, It's been a joy. Shout out to Kenya for then, thank you, Kenya. Yeah, this is why I love what we do.
I love to connect with other women, other people that are just on the same page, open minded, talking and like this is how we create can comunity, and this is how we change.
The world by conversation.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you, thank you for having us tell everybody where they can find you.
Sure, Betterlover dot com is a good place to find You can follow me on Instagram. It's my name, Susan Bratton.
And of course we're going to link everything in this episode description and thank you Susan for joining us. You guys know where to find us, or maybe you don't, but if you don't, it's Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram. If you're listening to this episode, please please please give us a review. Yeah, give us five stars because we're educating you and we're entertaining you. And also make sure you subscribe on YouTube. Make sure you follow
the Good Vibe Retreat on Instagram. Take a peek at all the work that we're doing over there. We have some amazing retreats happening this year and also next year, so stay.
In the loop.
Join our newsletter, be the first to find out where we're going next in the world next year.
Good Momsbad Choices dot com where all of those things list.
Yeah, and you can follow me at watch Erica on ig me Mila underscore map with the two peas and we'll see you next week.
You bye bye Lees.
Yeah, I'm living so good.
Can't you tell?
I went through a drought. That's until I found out, Well may my have been known Earth. I used to be broken tail, now got the blues in to like Beyonce jaw throat shot or Pop in his cow wearing our voices.
Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploit it. Women put the pee and powers, so it's.
Pointing that they want me to be good, so I make bad choices. Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom. Gitter's in on put cannabus in their bath. Bon walked in bossas cap and I blew his cat ball hop dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother rent the lover went to it. It's like a water someone where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime. I do what doll ain't know when I needs to run it by