No More Running feat. Marion Jones

Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

She couldn't.

She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.

She was a good woman who always made good choices.

That shit, we're good Mom's bad choices too, single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and sound out they were so bad.

After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

I can do it. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Meila.

Happy Wednesday, bitches.

It's Wednesday, y'all, and we're back in the studio.

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Anyway, we're back in the studio. We have a very very special guest today. I'm very excited.

I'm really excited because I'm fangirling because she was my idol growing up. As a former track star. Myself, I have a very short lived track star career. You don't know this about me.

Oh apparently not. I learned to the new every day. She's a soccer star track star.

Now depends on the guests.

Anyway, I would like to welcome to the show, former world champion chap track star. Also, I didn't realize you played in the WNBA coach mother, motivational speaker, the one and only Mary and.

Johnes recently podcaster.

Yes, overall icon first black female athlete on the cover of Vogue, Darling. I remember that Vogue cover. That was really beautiful, that red dress.

Yes, I wish I could get in that red dress.

Now, good, you do look great? Really good?

How are you?

I'm I'm joyful.

Yeah, I'm happy.

I am. You know.

I don't get back to Los Angeles very often, and coming back home and just being in this space is nice. But just kind of where I'm at in my world is a joyful time.

I didn't realize that you were born here, like that

Like us, we rarely get anyone others, particularly other black women who are from valley.

So yeah, when you all said that you were from here, I was like.

Wait, what, I know, it's very rares. Very well, it's not rare anymore. I think there's a lot of black people in the valley now, but like in the eighties and the nineties and and before that, like, no, that.

Is I told her, gave the way, Yeah, trailblazers. Growing up when when I I grow a person, so I was like five. Growing up, I thought that all black people nodded at each other, like in the mall in public because my parent, my dad always to other black people. So now and like I'm always like to black people and they're like, I'm like, what the fuck you didn't get the memo we're in the valley. You fucking you're not at me.

I think it's a man to man thing.

Oh yeah, or at least smile.

But you know, I do think I would like to say that we need to bring nodding to the women too. We need to do an at least a great bab like something like the men nod and the women do you have to poke your lips out like that's the.

Stank poke.

Girl.

Hey, that's too much me.

Another black, another black fucking harlem shaking. Oh my god, you're trying to take my man.

Oh my god, you start to shake, you know, your titties start to move and.

Stuff ain't taking nobody's man. Want to cleave it out. This is a p s. A announcement to all black people, people of color who live in places where you were the minority and there's mostly whites, you better smile or nod or when you see another black person. It is just the role of thumb. If your parents didn't teach you, I'm gonna teach you. You always acknowledge another black person just to say, hey, I got you. If something goes down in this mall, I see you.

Well I think that's what I think. That's what it's rooted in. What it's like, Hey, like there's there's a few of us over there work Just in case there's a few, I mean, I see, just in case I acknowledge one, two, three, four, yep, counter.

Even like there's for a minute I started noticing people like when all this twenty twenty, well, when the America was happening, when I would see like a black person pulled over, I would see other people like pull over and just like kind of wait for them. Yeah, I remember that too, or like sometimes like I would. One time I went to the ATM. It was late at night. I was with Luna and I went to the ATM and I saw a guy like waiting for me, and I was like, he's gonna fucking rob me. And then

You tell them, girl, let them know which.

You know my middle names Asada, y'all, Oh God, here we go. Don't start with me.

I'm just saying you should have run down all her credentials. She was a server in Atlanta, Mida Jamaican Trey LAWNI she's the sex of the podcast.

I'm gonna go there, but thank you for going down the list. I was only going to say that my middle name's Asada, okay, because I'm a black panther at heart. If you want to go down the rest of my resume, those are also very important things.

My hospitality got it, very top notch hospitality server here.

Ask about me Atlanta.

Put this on the comments.

You're in Atlanta in the two thousands and you saw me at the hotels doing my thing. Put it in the comments. Any of yer couldn't know what's up. I know we all know.

We've all experienced it. Every person.

My dad would be like, I know, we all know, we all have heard it.

At what point is it like like it's too far in the past, so when you're like six years old.

You're still gonna be erased very soon.

What would ask?

They're erasing everybody mine.

That's That's why I'm a storyteller. This is this, you know what, she could be a race.

I'm not mad at certain things being a race.

Every every story contributes to like the the final product of like the meal. You know, every dash of salt, even if he spilled too much that time, like it always like it always equates to how we come to show up at this point. So I'm not really about erasing. I barely erase pictures of ex boyfriends and she because I gotta remind myself, like, bitch, memory did it.

I'm gonna disagree. I'm all for expunging certain things that expunging take it off the fucking record.

Okay, what would you take off?

I would take off. Oh yeah, one of my boyfriends, the one with the one, the one with Michael Jackson impersonator, would be expunged because it was that.

His career, that was his career.

Basically basically, yeah, he's still doing it.

He's very talented. Yes he looks like but he's a questionable human and for some reason, everybody knows him and every time I dated him.

And if you talk about him on here now everybody's good. You guys, please look.

At up everyone time I mention him, and I because I now, I mention it because I'd like like to get a kick out of it, because people are like, oh, yeah, I know, blah blah blah, and I'm like, yeah, I used to date him. They're like, what the fuck?

When you told me that, I was like, do we need to be friends? Still? Do you? Would you expunge anything from your life record?

Oh?

Yes, the same thing, so a few relationships. But I'm similar in the thinking, like what you said, like everything is creates where I'm at now, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

It means it doesn't exist for everyone else to view.

I'm not saying that deletes from me, and I'm blacking it for publicly. Okay, well yeah you no, No, I think that you know everything. Everything you do leads you to where we're at right in this very moment. So yes, but we could have left mister Michael Jackson, I personator off the record.

I'm gonna have to get to Google, and I'm gonna have to get to I'm gonna have to go down this rabbit. I'm gonna have to go down this rabbit.

Marian, It's really all over. I was proud, I will stalk in my defense, I was like seventeen, okay, and he was much older than me, and he tricked me. Okay, he was taking me to nice dinners and I was in high school, take flying me out to Vegas and I was in high Yeah, I was at my dad's house.

Oh my god, I'm so happy I'm not the only fucking badass teenager who was literally lying about being in the state. I was literally underage and flying to Philadelphia to go see like drug dealer and niggas that my cousin cousin hooked.

Me up with.

And I'm like, I'm that Daniell's No.

Well, see, I would tell my dad. My parents didn't talk, so I knew if I was at my dad's house there was no way to was going to like reach out and ask. So he was always my scapegoat. So thanks Dad, Our kids.

Are being locked the fuck in the house.

Hopefully they just tell us.

Yeah, my kid's pretty.

Are they on on social media?

Your kids like have her own account or you let them go go on there.

I mean, well, Erica just exposed my daughter that she had a TikTok recently, and I remember it on the way to school yesterday and I was like, she says something about TikTok going getting banned, and I was like, speaking of TikTok, do you have a TikTok? And she was like, yeah, I know you did, because Erica told me. She's like, I was like, why would you get to TikTok And when you have a cover star, it's like the kid when she's like, sorry, mommy, I just wanted to see some of the songs.

I was like, did she go babyish when she.

Said she was going to delete it? It's Luna, I tried.

I saw you on TikTok last night.

Girl, last night.

She was she said she'd be saving things and liking things on our page. That's how I found her on TikTok. I wasn't like looking for her page.

What do you mean she's save shit on our page?

She literally it said like Luna web or Luna with like emojis.

And shit saved this video of ours.

Yes, but no, it's her videos on our page because you know, our kids take our phones, create content and post it without our consent. And I've had to like tell her, like, girl, you can't just she'll like do songs that are like inappropriate and like there's like one like don't drop the soap in the shower and I was like, and people were like, where's your mom, like in the comments like go get your mom, and I'm like, what the fuck.

Or she'll like.

Then Iri was posting kids from her school. I was like, babe, like, you can't need my permission to post.

So yeah, like you know your mom's are famous.

How old are your kids?

Twenty one, seventeen, fifteen?

Okay? So there are they on the socials things. They have their own accounts and doing all the things.

But like my village, my people are all follow them and so and I do too, and so if anything pops up, they're not.

They barely.

They like to repost their friends stuff.

They're not doing too much original contents. Thankfully.

We're living in a weird time. You guys grow raising kids in this time, but it's so different than like what we grew up as. It's just like what the fuck?

Yeah, And I mean we chatted about it briefly, just in terms of all the distractions they have now, right, it's like for us, well, for me, there was no distractions. It was get out when the light when the sun comes up, you're outside, right. You don't even come inside to go to bathroom, like when when street lights come back on, you come inside, right, and there's no there's no electronics or anything.

And it's a much different time obviously.

I mean I I Yeah, we were talking about that because I was. I was telling her like I was an athlete from the like from as early as I could be an athlete pretty much like. And I don't know if that was because of me. I'm pretty sure

Now your downfall it was, it was literally the next Marion Jones. But I would have been I could have I could have been the fastest woman in the world, just like well never no, never, know it.

Wasn't for that devil cannabis.

No.

But I think about my daughter and like, I just I haven't really pushed it on her in that way. And as I was driving here thinking about you and thinking about me and my trajectory and how sports is really was a major part of my life. And I was thinking, I think sports was also such a an activator in my confidence and working with people and like

Like fuck.

But I was like, oh my god, am I had I too late? Is my daughter not going to be a track star? Is she not going to be in the WNBA because it has been playing?

Stressed too much about in terms of not like pushing her because nobody like pushed me.

Yeah, how I was just exposed to it. Like my stepfather loved.

The Dodgers and love the Lakers, and we would go to games and he would sit down after the races and the competitions and the games and he would force the only thing he would force me to do is watch the post game interviews. And I never understood then, but he was teaching me how to be humble. He was teaching me how to communicate my thoughts.

And my ideas right and the more that I'm.

Around it, like, and that's just the same thing with my kids, Like I don't push them to do anything, but it's.

Always on the TV.

We're going to games, we talk about it. They're exposed to it, they understand it.

So yeah, I mean, it's turn a game, man, you know, go to a game. I know, you know.

I think my daughter affinity to basketball really is because her dad loves basketball so much. And that's like, girl, I would say, so, and that's there, that's their time together because I have her most of the time. So when they are together like that, he's watching the game. And so she's like she'll come home and be like talking about all these basketball players' names, and I'm like, who, Like, you.

Don't know, Like, just give us one name, girl, Lebron.

I knew you so easy, Lebron.

That's all I got. She said, some guy Shaka Shaka one. Yeah, Luka, the big one, the one that we were talking about, the big white man. Yeah, okay, so yeah, thatman Russian talk about. She was She's like, Luka Dagadogovich got traded to the DA he got the biggest contract and blah blah blah, and I was like, what, Okay, you are living a whole other life at daddy's house because I

I know it was almost a shock star for someone you were.

You were almost a black panther.

Missed my time. I might bring him back though black panthers too.

I think it's time.

I think it's time. Think about time.

If you guys want to start the bake, I'll be the Angela Davis here. Okay, we're bringing it back.

No, we're going to tighten up that fro though yea safe, it'd be.

Safe enough so we don't get like go to jail. But you know, yeah, I would love to know. Okay, so you grew about here, how did you What was your entry into sorts and track?

And yeah, you know, I'm all.

I'm from a single parent household. My mom who's originally from Belize. Oh wow, Yeah, beautiful country in Central America. She came up to the States when my brother was I have one older brother, he's five years older than me. She came up to the States just for better life.

Started in New York.

A lot of Beligians, you know, start there, and then she had family out here in California, Los Angeles areas.

So she came out here, met my father I was born. They were divorced when I was.

Three, and yeah, she just started raising us, and I just naturally gravitated towards it. You know, I have an old he's five years older than me. So I like to joke, but not really. When your older brother is picking you to be on his neighborhood teams, you know there's something a little.

Special, right, Like he was bypassing his buddies because.

He wants his little sisters chosen.

Yeah. Yes, like I'm good, I gotta be.

So just got involved in every sport.

My mom and my stepdad married, and he really was the catalyst to getting me.

To love sport.

We would go to Dodgers games, we would go to

Still slaying of the downtown.

They do, they're here. How old are you when your mom married your stepdad? Hey, I must have been about four, okay five so, and he was.

He was significantly older than my mom. He was former navy, navy cook. So he would like, he's stay home, but my mom had to work.

She would drive.

From the valley to Beverly Hills and then we moved out to Palmdale. She would drive to Beverly Hills.

And what was she doing in Beverly Hills.

She's a legal secretary yep.

And she would commute and it was just a really good time in my life.

Yeah.

I love that you had like a stay at home dad. Yeah, So like was that I guess was that did that impact you in a way that it may be different than it did?

I guess I never even really thought of it like that.

You know, he was just everything, you know, he was warm, he was loving, he was intelligent, he could cook, and he was when he was in the navy, he was the cook like thousands of men.

Oh, I've shared this story.

Recently that you guys remember back in the day, there was this a store called Fedco.

It kind of was like the Costco now.

They have Costco and Sam's Club now, but before then it was Fedco. Anyways, he would go to Fedco and he would load up on like meat that was on sale, just because he had a history of having to cook for thousands of people.

He would load it up in the freezer and he would go bad and my mom would hate it.

Right anyways, the food was amazing.

I just I felt seen and heard and it was amazing.

And then he passed away when I was nine.

Oh damn yeah, and my mom was forced to be single parent again. And at that point, my biological dad, who was here in Los Angeles, had decided that he wasn't a part of like wanted to be a part of my life. My brother and I have different dads, and I having my stepdad in my life and then not.

Having any father figure in my life.

Even though I had a father, like a biological father who was alive.

We didn't want any parts of me.

It was just really hard, and my mom was dealing with grief in her own way, and I was dealing with grief in my way. And then I become a teenager, and then you know teenage girls, shit hits the fan and I don't know how to like what where to turn to. But thankfully I turned to sport.

Like that was my.

Alcohol, that was my drug of choice, and I found that I was just very good from the beginning.

What was your first sport?

My first board was soccer. My mom coached, my older brother brother was the assistant, so cute. I loved it.

And then track there was a little recreation community team in Palmdale because we had moved out there to have to buy a house more Land, and yeah.

It was just it was good, good and yeah.

From there, moved into basketball and it just kind of By the time I was fifteen, I was competing here at UCLA and the meets and qualifying for the Olympic team.

So you knew in high school that you're probably going to go to the Olympics, Oh, no doubt.

Yeah, wow, Yeah.

I just I was I was the type of kid whom you didn't have to like push I was waiting at the door with my backpack. I was going to bed at eight pm the night before to make sure I had enough sleep. Right, I was like, come on, Mom's that's who I was.

A natural drive for it.

Natural drive eighty four.

I was nine years old in nineteen eighty four and that was when the Olympics came to Los Angeles and did you go?

So? The tickets are expensive, single mom.

So, but my mom found a way to take me to the Olympic parade and this is when the athletes would be paraded down the street prior to the games, because she wanted me to just be in that space. And that summer, I sat in front of my TV and I watched for the first time, and I knew that that had to be me.

I didn't know what's sport. I didn't know, but I knew I wanted that moment when they're about to cross the line and you can see it.

I knew I wanted it. I wrote it on my chalkboard. Olympic champion at nine. So fast forward to fifteen. Made the Olympic team decided not to go? Right?

Picked up basketball?

Or why I just said not to go?

Well, I wrote Olympic champion on my chalkboard at nine, and I knew that at the age of fifteen, I would just be on the relay and although I would have gotten a gold medal, it.

Wouldn't have been like you.

Yes, and I wanted my first to be me, So.

We opted not to go wow, and I stayed here and mart strategic. Yeah my mom, My mom said, you also stayed here because you needed to get your grades.

Was your mom at that time kind of like your manager or your guide essentially, or did you have like coaches that were kind of guiding her and giving her and what's the best path for you?

At that point, My mom was sacrificing a lot of like drive time from here to there to get me to training. And I wouldn't say a manager, but she was definitely the guiding force in terms of Okay, you probably should do that meet, you probably shouldn't do that meet, and so yeah, she was kind of running the show, and especially even when it came to the grades. You know, my mom is tough, right. She comes from a background,

So yeah, fifteen.

But then around that time I started to pick up basketball and loved it, but skill wise I was very athletic, of course, but skill wise it wasn't up to where it needed to be.

But my athletic ability overshadowed it.

So I think my senior year seventeen, I decided to take a basketball scholarship and travel cross country to North Carolina.

Play basketball there, and dabble in track.

So if you know anything about the California track world, like it's strong, like we have some of the best in the country come from this area. And so the the decision to travel cross country, not go to UCLA, not go to USC, not go to Stanford, and go to North Carolina like the track role.

Was like what what?

I just I loved East Coast, I loved.

The campus there, and and it was a good decision because my freshman year we won the national title.

Wow.

And also you were going to shine there.

I was gonna shine.

I wanted to shine anywhere, but you were really gonna shine there in basketball. But I would imagine anywhere I would have shoed not right like it is.

Told me to be humble. Yeah, that was a given right.

But I also wanted to play. If I had chosen potentially to play out of Stanford or u c l A, my playing time because I was still very novice in the sport of basketball, would have been limited.

So I chose the school like North Carolina.

Who didn't have an extensive history of success in the women's game, and I wanted to be on the court. And it was a good decision because my freshman year we won the title. And yeah, yeah, I also, you know, had a desire to I have a gift for gab a little bit, and broadcast journalism was something that I was interested in.

Great program there, and so that's how that all.

Came to be. Wow.

Yeah, as I'm thinking about your your journey and also like the passing of your stepfather and not having a father figure. I know, just in sports in general, a lot of times coaches kind of take on that role or in that realm, and that can be like a blessing and it also can be challenging because you're kind of trusting these men to guide you, to protect you within that I guess in those early years in that journey, like was that your story, like did you have that?

Or my story was that I disguised a lot of the pain and poured it all into my sport. Like I don't even think they like I communicated that I was struggling because I didn't want anything to distract me from like as very goal oriented then and now, and.

I didn't even want to distract I needed them to.

Be focused on the task at hand, which was training me to get where I needed to be. And it was it was just a really challenging time.

I mentioned that.

We won the title my freshman year. My sophomore year, team traveled out to California to Los Angeles. It was the first time I had come back here since going to college. Hadn't seen my biological father, and I don't know how many years. And so I'm playing at Polly Pavilion at UCLA. We were playing Stanford, we were losing.

Focused, right.

Yeah, I didn't know how to we come back out from the locker room.

We lose, We lose the game, but.

I'm excited to see friends and family that I hadn't seen, and particularly just the like connect with him, and he was nowhere to be found. Fast forward and fast forward, and then we'll back up if we need to. Two thousand and one, on I get a call from his common law.

Wife that he had passed.

So seeing him at the game was literally the last time that I saw him.

Wow.

And again, so many unanswered questions, so many answer unanswered questions, but one of them that was answered was all along I thought, I wonder if he knows anything about my success like my successes. Does he know that I went to North Carolina? Does you know I played basketball? Does you know I won the national championship? Does he know that I'm Olympic champion? And seeing him at the game,

A scrap book. Wow, like scrapbook.

Of like me in Sydney and again, but the questions are like why why a scrap, But why not just pull up right? Yeah?

You know who knows. I mean I could go down that road and.

I have for for many years, but it was just a real hard time in my life.

Yeah, I mean I would imagine that's I think for any young girl, Like the father is such a complicated and get crucial figure in our in our existence, and it always so much of how we show up in our relationships, so much how we show up in our decision making comes from whoever was that figure in our life. And so if there was, if if you luckily you had someone enduring I guess a lot of your formidable years.

And I think even even more so when you when you participate in sports.

Right, because it's like a man dominated world.

You know generally, and the idea that you know you don't have anyone to turn to when it comes to that it is just and we also are from a culture whereby those times are slowly, thankfully changing, but you know,

Don't air your dirty laundry, right, like the.

Mental health thing and that you know, I certainly wasn't sharing that with a coach, like I said, nor was I going to get any type of therapy to help me navigate through it all. It's one of the lessons that I've learned, especially with my own kids. Right like I'm going to talk to them, I'm gonna make them talk, right if I'm not comfortable, if I feel like, I'm gonna get help.

And it's so much different than what it used to be.

Yeah, there was a time as teenagers or as kids, it's like you'd be seen not heard. You know, it's very much like we don't tell our business, We don't talk about that. Are not talking about their own feelings, let alone asking you how do you feel?

Or I alone paying somebody.

But you better come talk to me, and you better not tell none of your friends about this, this and that. And also just like imagining that the big emotions of grief that you're feeling, but without the language you don't like if you don't even hear your mom or your dad, or you don't even have the space to discuss or communicate about certain about feelings. You can't even vocalize or verbalize how you're actually feeling to anyone anyway. So your

But thankfully for me, you know, I have friends and no people that in dealing with all of that, they turned to drugs, and they turned to alcohol, they turned to overeating and all those things.

And so people are like, well, well, thankfully you turned to sport.

Yes, and no, right, it's still an unhealthy way of coping, right, it's still even even to this day addictive. Right, Like when I deal with stuff, I go and work out. Yeah, right, instead of sitting down and getting through it.

Right, it's my outlet.

And so yeah, you see people see on the success side, oh like that they don't know the demons you know that constantly.

Are there because it's not toxic.

Yeah, well they think it's not.

I mean, that's so interesting, like using something that people say to dive into when you're having.

Something healthy as your outlet.

Yeah, they'll say, google extra exercise over a.

Walk a run, and you're like, that's all I ever did.

Cry and scream and talk about it, but you know, all right, I'll go the treadmill.

I mean, a good.

Balance of all of it is is the healthiest way, you know, And I'm grateful that I never turned to the bottle, right or.

Do what we do?

Been the fastest woman in the world two thousand in four, two thousand and three.

Don't go to that, don't go to that reefer.

Look at these legs.

Okay, oh my god.

I well, you know, I think too, like when we talk when we think about like toxic traits or not toxic trait, but like using these type of healthy things for toxicity or not to avoid yourself essentially, like when was the point in your career where you couldn't run anymore, Like where you couldn't run away from your demons and what and and maybe you're still dealing with that because I think it's a lifelong Dirney, because I know we are.

Yeah, you know, it's it certainly was during some of the hard which we'll get to, I'm sure here in a little bit. But that was, you know, after the Sydney Games, and I had so much success, and I was, you know, America's Golden child and on the cover of every magazine, and and you know, when shit hit the fan, you know, in two thousand and seven, in two thousand and eight, and I, you know, shared with the world that I had made some poor choices and I had

Oh my.

But you know, whenever I.

Share that, people's reaction is similar, but I always like to follow up.

I say it was also a blessing.

And the reason is because it forced me want no pun intended to slow my ass down and to assess figure out who I was, not who I was Mary Jones the track and Feel star, right, but who are you at the core? And I think so many young athletes and entertainers like like you you define who you are by what you do, which is sad. And that time locked up away from everything that I understood was real, like, Okay, you're not just a sprinter, right, Like, you're so much more.

You're gonna be okay. And you're gonna be okay.

And I knew the moment after I pled guilty in the judge handed down his like this crazy sentence, which was so far, so far from what we anticipated, it was going.

To be more severe.

Correct.

So when I pled guilty, what generally happens is the court will do an investigation of the charge and the offense, and the court usually will recommend a sentence to the judge based off of it all right, like is this.

Person need to be locked up?

Or can they potentially serve the community by doing probation? All that, and my recommendation from the court was probation, like, hey speak to young people, right, like we think that. And three hours later into this sentencing, I'm having to look at my attorneys left and right.

I'm like, did I did I hear?

Right?

Did he say six months?

And just being in shock.

I'd never been around anybody who had been to prison.

I don't know anybody.

My only exposure to like prison life was that show that used to be on call, Locked Up.

A lot of show, right.

I probably shouldn't have been so into it because that became my face. But after the sentencing, walking down the steps there in New York and thousands of cameras, and I made the decision that so many people had embraced me in my highest of moments, right, that it was only right to speak. I could have easily just like disappeared, but I said no, I'm gonna speak. I'm gonna make my apology to the world that I'd let so many

She was whispering in my ear, saying, baby, you'd be okay.

And in those moments, even locked up forty nine days by myself, you know, twenty three out of twenty four hours a day, locked up, sometimes all day when the guards don't want to take you out there. There were some days from like wait, you know, let's cat, but the majority of the days are like you got this, you got this, Your your future is going to be okay.

Wow. How old were you at that time?

I was still in my twenties right, which is which is crazy when people are so critical and I get it.

Right like everybody like I was. I was.

I was that.

Person to so many people.

But you're human, your kid and that you're a human and your kid.

And now at almost fifty, I'll turn fifty in a few months.

When occasionally you'll get the people who try to come at me.

I'm like, dude, right, you're talking about it, like, let's put.

A lens on your twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, can we do that?

Well?

I mean listening, thank you for sharing. And I'm just thinking about this golden because when you were running track and during that time, it was literally like a golden era of track and field for you, and then even like the men that were running as well, it was just like this beautiful era. There was so much hope and there was so much You're bringing so much pride, especially to black people, and you kind of became the poster child not kind of, you were like the poster

I also had made the decision. I mean, I'm just out of teenage years. Success came my way so fast, so much money, right, and.

You know you, you.

Start surrounding yourself. And I've shared this a lot of times with like a yes crowd, Yeah right, these are people who are gonna.

Patch you on the back. Oh you want to make this, Yes, that's a good decision.

Yes, an outfit, yes.

Right.

And I start to start to distance myself and pull away from the people who are gonna give it, keep it, to keep it real with right, my brother, my my family, right, my close friends. I started to distance myself from them because I'm like.

Hey, I'm I'm the star. I'm the star.

Right.

And that, right, is what happens to a lot of young people who find success early on. I equated to being caught in a wave, and it takes you further and further out awave from reality.

Right.

And the reason that I go back to saying that that time, that hard time, was such a blessing because it forced me to come back to shore, forced me to plant my feet in the sand and say, hold the hell up a second, it's time to get rid of some people in your life, right, And which is hard, right, Like, we're also a culture that's that's very loyal, right, And and there you stick with you know, you gotta stick with our own and sometimes you got to go through

Right, which was I'm thankful for, you know.

But during the time where you were at, you know, like in right before the Sydney Olympics and your your husband was.

Your coach, correct, No, No, it wasn't my coach.

Oh, but he was involved someone I'm sure he was involved in he was an athlete as well. Well, what do you think what was the moment in which you said I because I know I remember watching your interview on OPRAH where you said you could have won without the performance enhancing drugs. What was the moment in which you said, I'm going to take these like why why? If you already knew that?

Well to understand get a little context of it all. During that time, there was just a lot of athletes in the news and performance enhancing drugs, right, there was also a need, especially for the elite athlete to make sure that whatever nutritional supplements were taking weren't tainted.

Right.

You go into a GNC, for example, you don't know how they prepared it, right. And then, as the most tested athlete in the world, the most tested drug tested athlete in the world during that time, I needed to ensure that my stuff that I was taking wasn't tainted.

I believe in a drug free sport. I'm a natural athlete.

I know that I'm talented enough to win, so I am the advice of my team hired a company to make sure that the supplements that I was taking were clear and clean.

Right.

And again, you know, I'm whatever age I am in my twenties, and you everybody has their role on.

My team, right. You have the messeuse, you have the coach, you have.

The manager, you have all this and you kind of just say, this is what I want, I will pay for it.

Make sure that these are natural supplements, and you trust.

Trust right Like I don't have a biology degree, right, Like, I'm not testing everything that and.

I am again tested every week and.

There's there's no red flags.

So I am assuming that everything that I being given that I'm told is this is drug.

Free and I'm passing every test.

And it didn't come to my realization that I had been taking a performance enhancing drug until fast forward to two thousand and seven and federal investigators call me in because they want to ask me some questions. Right, And by that point, of.

Course, I had seven years after the fast right.

So and so I tell my attorneys like, yeah, I have nothing to hide, Let's go in. I've been tested, I've been asked about it. Let's go in, and let's just kind of like put an end to this.

And so at this point, since two thousand you've you've stood on your ground of I did not take Yeah.

I'm running.

I'm still the fastest woman in the world.

And I had made a decision note to distance myself from certain coaches that I was just naturally.

I had had my first child.

And I didn't think that it was going in the right direction. And so by this point I had a new coach, a new team went in there in two thousand and seven, and they started asking me the questions and we could tell very quickly that it wasn't just a hey, it was more like, we think you know a lot more than what you're telling us. By the time the interview wrapped up, they decided to pull something out of their briefcase and kind of like slap it

I made the decision to say, oh, shoot, this is what it is.

Regardless of if I knew what it was or not, if I admit to having taken it. Everything that I've dreamt of that nine year old little girl, my mom traveling up here to the night it states for a better life for her family, like the fortune, the fame, everything would be questioned and would disappear. So in that short amount of time, I made the decision to lie, I don't know what it is.

I'd never taken it before. By that point they called it. They were like, we're done.

The issue And many people don't understand is that prior to that meeting with them because I had nothing to hide, right, So federal investigators shared with my attorneys, Hey, we're going to have her sign what's called a Queen for a Day letter.

They still have it.

It's under the disguise of they call it something else, but in essence, what it is is if they believe that they need information from you. It could be for any a murder, a theft, whatever. You sign this letter and you say you will tell the truth no matter what it is, and we will not and cannot prosecute you, prosecute you, So.

You're under oath but in a way, but it's not any way, right, But if you sign it and then you lie, that's where the shit hits the fan.

And I signed the letter prior again nothing to hide. I lied in it, and then they were able to use that against me. But you know, you fast forward a few years and had my you know, because the timeline is weird. Two thousand and seven is when I decided to tell the world that I had lied and all that, But two thousand and three was actually when they called me in, right, so we had said two thousand and seven, it was actually two thousand and three that was the year my first son was born.

That is, I'm a mom. That is important because you all know when you become a.

Parent, like things shift and you start to realize like your lifestyle or what you're doing or saying or not doing not saying can and will affect them someday. And I had my son and I'm telling him, you know, you know, when you make more choices, you know, you got to come and tell Mom and we'll deal with the consequences.

And the sooner you tell me, the better, the better.

And I'm just a hypocrite, right because I'm holding onto this lie and I'm running and I'm successful, but it's just heavy. Two thousand and seven, my second son was born, and at that point it was just I mean, I'm still competing, I'm still doing well.

It's just the burden of it is too much.

And I decided to you know, I'm going to just deal with the consequences whatever.

So so had you never said admitted it, then what would not nothing have had happened? Or was it just as personal like it was.

Just I mean, I was at that point still very heavily tested every week. By that point, I hadn't taken it since two thousand and you realize, right once I realized, But yeah, I mean, nothing would have I don't know. I really don't know what the consequences if I never had said anything. But at that point, it wasn't It wasn't even worth going down that road anymore.

Was there a.

Reason why this company would have, under the guise of everything as natural, been given in this fucking Olympian this drug without your knowledge?

Well, I mean it wasn't.

There were a lot of athletes that had hired this particular company.

And the more.

Success the athletes, and we're talking about athletes, the elite of many different sports, right, the more success the athlete has, the more prominence this company will will become.

This sounds like they did they take any accountability for what happened, or you know, they.

Went down, they fold down.

But I was the I was the only athlete to have been given any prison time.

Is that because you're black?

Well, I think I think that there.

I think there were a lot of other athletes of color.

I think that one would have to go to prison.

They wanted to make an example of.

It, and that's what the judge also said. The judge, he said, we're going to set a precedent.

Yeah, they wanted to make an example of it.

You know.

It wasn't until years later that I also found out that he was this particular judge was up for re election. Right, it was the biggest case during that time, right, so he high profile. But you know, you it was the decision that needed to be made. It was it was the right decision. It was one that I was fearful

And so to fast forward a little bit to kind of.

Where I'm at now and the decision I've made, because I made the conscious decision once it all went down to step back, right like after I was released, I needed to be present for them.

I needed to step away from the spotlight.

When I was released from prison, though I still had an aching.

To compete to participate in sport.

Track was off the table.

But as you all know, I played basketball and I also had on my bucket list to play professionally, So I made a WNBA team and I played.

For a few seasons.

And I did that so that my kids can when they're old enough to follow the trajectory of my career in my life. And they were going to see the success early on, and then they were going to see the hard times and the bad decisions and for me just to disappear and never would send. I think and thought a message to them that you know, you make things happen in life and you just.

Stay there back it up. So I said, you know what, No, I'm putting myself back out there.

I'm going to attempt to make a professional basketball team. Right after all of this, I hadn't actually played basketball competitively and over a decade because I was running and competing.

I made a WNBA team to.

This day, the oldest rookie in the WNBA. And I

Can remember what experience other than them.

And so after I decided to step away from sport altogether, I then really needed to take another step back. No, it's my kid's time, Like I need to be present for them.

Not knowing if if.

I was gonna put myself ever back out into the public eye.

And a few years back.

I says, it's time and what is it time for Marian It's time for the world to see that, like.

You don't have to stay in that place.

And not just specifically with my story, but my story resonates if you think, no, not everybody can relate to being you know, you know, running fast here today, Olympic champion, all that cover a vogue. But everybody can relate to being knocked down in some capacity. You lose a job, somebody dies, your relationship fails.

You don't got any money, right, you've you've fucked up, you went.

To really everybody and everybody experiences that in some way. Everybody needs to know that you don't have to stay there and this is how you can get back up and to be able to use my own It's it's hard to have to be that that poster child now right, Like I would love to stay the other poster child, but I think this one is making even a bigger impact on the world than just being able to run fast from.

Here to there. Because only very few people can relate to that. They might be inspired by that.

So right, like you said, you know you loved watching me, and that was but really seeing somebody.

Like like the phoenix, like the rise again.

Meaningful and it relates to everybody.

It's you actually are become the more authentic version, whereas the other place feels like aspirational, where now it's I feel it's very equally as aspirational, but there's like a groundedness in it. There's a reality, there's a relatability, there's humanity, there's people can actually see themselves in you, whereas before they're like, I don't know how and like it's great, like I want to take a picture with her, but but other than that.

So that is why you asked early on in this like how am I today or how? And that's why I can sider here and say I'm like, I'm joyful, right because the journey for me hasn't been easy, but who is it easy for anybody?

Really?

I'm just sitting any place where I know that what I'm doing right now is it's what it's God intended me to be doing.

Good. Mom's bad choices. Yeah, it's the rise, It's the lesson that you learn from it. All the lesson that you get to like live out loud too, you know, like you said coming being you know, Black people, a lot of our things are We're taught to sweep it under the carpet and it's it's something we keep at home. We don't talk about it hush hush, like the I didn't come home last Like you don't tell nobody our business.

Is what social media like exemplifies, like everybody wants to show their best life or in social media and my reality and one that I choose now because I'm also at a point in my world that I'm not going to allow my narrative to be written for me anymore as young, right, you kind of let know like this is who I am, this is what I did, but this is where it's going.

And there are.

Good days and there are bad days, and folks.

Need to see all of it.

How is your marriage during that time, Like, I know, you're no longer married, but like you were married when you were got locked up, you were married and came out. You know, how did that affect your marriage?

It's certainly a strain, certainly a strain because I you know, we talk about like not airing any dirty launcher, Like I didn't even share certain things with my husband about that time, right, And so in his defense, right, like he entered a relationship with all without all the moving parts, which is unfair, right, and something that I am saddened

You say kicking, I don't see, it's not like a thing.

For the ten plus years that I was away from the public eye, like I was living my true and authentic life, right, Like I knew for many years that I, you know, there was an attraction to women and you know, like guys were cool I also knew that I wanted kids, right, like you know for that and it's not well not even that's.

That's the full truth now.

But you also during that time you fit into a certain stereotype like this is what you know the female athlete should be, this is what sponsors are paying for. It's this pretty picture, right, and you know I mean.

To be totally transparent.

You know, my the culture in which I was raised in very conservative Bellisian culture, like you know, I have a mom, that's just not a thing, didn't support me, right, It didn't fit in that. So again you make choices and you just get to a point where I'm just like, it's just as heavy. It's just time to be me.

Were like you, the world doesn't.

You didn't share that everyone doesn't gay.

Everyone is funny because now you know everybody now will come in and say, oh, I.

Knew all a long, you know how we get.

The way he was running. I thought that I see when you cut all your hair off, the only gays do they.

And so this this journey back for me, this like second wind per se.

It's just me living my authentic.

Self, like I am who I am, right I do.

I'm not at a point where I'm like I care what they say, like this is this is who I am, and my story is strong and powerful and I'm passionate about it and this is my life and this is my fa this is my world.

Take it or leave it right. You don't have to like me, but you can keep it moving. How did your kids take it? Was there a moment you had to tell them like listen, mommy's lesbian again.

It wasn't like that coming out way.

It was just like it was just a natural, like after a divorce, dad. And you know, I made certain choices to bring whom I'm bringing around them, which I'm very cautious about. You know, there were and they're all different ages and different understanding levels, and you kind of figure that out along the way.

And it wasn't any I mean it was. It was tough because.

It's not dad right.

It would like who is right?

But again it wasn't like a shock factor or anything like I'm living with my partner now, my daughter lives in a household.

My kids know mom. I think there's, like.

Said, this misconception that like when when you when you lay it on your kids, like these life choices that you've made, If these life choices that you make are making mom happy, the kids are going to be happy. You know, they don't really give a fuck, like they care, they do give a fuck. They give a fuck that their mother is happy and that they're showing the mom is showing up for them.

And so I think that never and of course that never changed.

And I think like for the moms listening, who are you know, battling with, whether that's their sexuality, whether that's you know, leaving dad, whether that's career changing, location changing. And that's even a message for me myself too, is like we're always so concerned about if we're going to fuck up our kids, and the way we surely fuck up our kids is not being ourselves or.

Hiding hiding trauma, right, Like that's another thing that you know, we in our culture, like you.

Don't want to share that you're going through.

You're strong, everything's fine, and your kids feeal you. They came from you. Then that energetic and bilical cord is real.

My daughter, I could get in the car and just having a rough day.

And I won't say anything.

She's like, she'll get from school, She's like, what's wrong with you? Yes, I'm like no, I'm good to stop. So she will literally turn down the music and say what happened today?

Right?

So to think that just because you don't say it or you don't show it right, like they don't know, and.

Then that's it's a confusing.

Time for them anyway, and you're intelligence.

Yeah, yeah, they're already hormonal and I'm mad for no reason. And now you're going to sit up there and lie in my face. And just like you tell your kids, you can't lie to me, I know everything before it happens. It's very much the same way. Your kid is super intelligent and intuitive, mostly because they're closer to God the younger that they are, and second of all, because they

You know for moms, Jenny's mom is Polly.

Yeah, you know, they're going to commune like who, like, you know, what I mean, like our mom's not binary, they're they you know, like the kids are so more further informed than we were, Like there's it's so much more like present in media and we can't hide it, so it's like we might as well talk about it. And I always thinks like your happiness as a mother, as a parent is so important that like denying yourself the truth is essentially teaching your kid how to lie.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's same. I think that, like, as women, we carry so much shame, and it seemed it seems like the world, maybe not I want to put it all in the world, but the world was trying to throw you away, then keep you down and use everything to just suppress all of the accomplishments that you've had. And I'm just so inspired by your journey to say no, I'm not done and like you're not going to put me away.

You're not going to put me in that box.

Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I think that like more women need to to abide by that rule and realize that there's always a second chance, there's always a second wind.

You realize that it doesn't matter who you are. And me, he could be an everyday show.

I mean, oh, you could be a doctor. That's like I want to be a hola hooper.

And that's I mean in regards to my podcast, that's that's what it is like it's entertainers and people that you know, but it's also like everyday people.

That have hit success in life, whatever success looks like. I mean, you could be the deacon in your church.

And you mess up right and you lose it all, and then you just make the decision to you know what, like it doesn't have to end here, Like I don't have to stay stuck in my past, and it's and you know it's my affirmation. We will get to that, but like it's you know, your your setbacks in life.

Can be like a catalyst for something even bigger.

It could be a catalyst for like your your big comeback And people say, you know why come back? You know why play in the w NBA, right Because again, like for me, my kids are everything and they need I needed. I needed to be okay that I had created a narrative so that they can.

See it, that you're in control of it, right.

That I that I'm in control of it, and that in it the world can see and need if they need an example, Hey, it's me, yo, I love that.

After me, your setback in life can be the catalyst to your comeback, your biggest comeback.

Your cat your setback in life can be the catalyst to your biggest comeback. Yeah, I resignate with that. I think even with Eric and I, like we were in a very place where we're like, we're single moms, we're a stereotype and the statistic and like it's over, you know, and we're just like, fuck it, We're gonna we're gonna talk say the things, talk about dating, talk about things that are not likable for women and mothers, and we're gonna smoke our weed and we're gonna stay it out loud.

And you're probably gonna fail at some point in it a little bit here and there, but it's part of it. And it's also like prepping for the failure, right, I call it prepping for the hiccup, prepping for the roadblocks.

Because there's going to be a road Yes, there's going to be a hit. There's going there's no human that exists that has not fucked up.

So even in y'all's example, I mean, I'm sure you all and have shared like the hiccups even into getting to where you are right now. For anybody like seeing hearing this to think that it's been smooth sailing the.

Whole way right, that's illusional. Shit will get hard and you will be okay. You know, Amen? Do you want to do Tarot time?

Yes? Tterot time.

Of swords? Interesting? It seems like there's of sports is It's an interesting card upright?

It actually represents betrayal, deception, getting away with something, acting strategically. Traditionally, the seven of swords indicates that betrayal, deception, and trickery. You might be trying to get away with something and are sneaking around behind other people's backs, hoping to go undetected. If you're lucky, you might get away with your secret intact, but if you're unlucky, others will soon find out what

Know, but the reverse is interesting to The reverse says you may doubt yourself and your abilities. For example, if you have started in new business and you think to yourself, who am I doing this? Know that this fear is talking. Go get out of your head and trust that you have everything that you need to make a new venture

Yeah, well, thank you so much for coming on our show chat. This is great. Where can people find your podcast?

You all the things everywhere?

No, you can find a second win podcast wherever you get your podcasts, Spotify wherever that is. Of course I'm on Instagram and TikTok.

Yeah, you're on TikTok? Can you be doing TikTok?

I mean, I don't dances all over, but are you sure you do it right now? Over?

Oh my god.

I had a guest come on the other day. She's like, we need to do TikTok and she's like, I can find one. In four seconds she went, this is the dance. I was like, oh my god, is that how easy it is? I'm over here like searching for hours, like which one speaks to my soul?

Like we learned that dance about eight seconds and we did it, okay.

And then when TikTok disappears, all that hard work.

Right, TikTok and go nowhere? Girl, They're not going to let that thing go nowhere.

It's too much money.

Well, we will make sure to link all of your links in this episode description, So make sure you check out Marion Jones and make sure you check us out. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast. Like we said at the beginning of the show, if you didn't listen, bitch, now is the time I say bitch in the most loving way, loving living way, but I really do mean it. And also make sure you follow the Good Vibe Retreat. We have three retreats this year that are still available.

Yeah, I'm living been so good? Can't you tell I went through a drought. That's until I find a well may my have been known art? I used to be broken tail, now got the blues dance and might beyond, say Jazell throat shot pop and this cower in our voices, patriarch and catch it in the box.

So what'sploids?

Women put the p and power, So what's the pointless?

Say?

Want me to be good?

So I make bad choice?

Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom. It he's in on the cannabus in their bathbon walked in Barcel's cap and I blew his cat boll hop dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and the waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent the lover, when too it looks like a water summer where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime. I do what doll ain't no one that needs to run it by