Love's a B*tch Then You Die

What's up you guys?

This week we are talking about love withdrawals.

Erica is traumatized by her great baby hears and contemplating if it's time to start considering freezing eggs.

Do we flow too hard? And will we be alone forever?

Healthy love, a whore story involving male squirts.

And of course, our live show, y'all.

Our live show is this Saturday. We can't wait to see you guys. If you haven't got your tickets, make sure you do. They are in the episode description. It's gonna be late, it's ladies night. Call your friends, bring them over.

Get your wine, get your read and join us live performances, special guests. Yeah, it's gonna be dope and a discount for patrons.

Ooh yeah, hmmm that felt good.

No, Jamila is not having sex, just releasing, just.

Releasing my emotions and feelings for the day.

What's up, guys.

This is Erica and this is Mela, and it's Wednesday.

Kids are in the other room jumping on the couch. They gotta go to bed soon. So this is gonna be a short and cute episode. Okay, we're gonna keep a real, real cute, quick short I say that now, and then I start talking and I'm.

Like, lah blah blah blah lah. Shall we start with our taro pol?

Sure? All right here with that?

Also side note, Jamila tried to shuffle these cards earlier, and I feel like I gotta do like a boom, like I got to do like a story real, just showing you guys how this bitch shuffles cards.

It's fucking crazy.

Well, first of all, I don't know what you're trying to blast me because you handed me the deck and said I never do it, and I said it's for a reason. I don't know how to shuffle. I'm not good at shuffling. I've never been a good shuffler.

It's not my thing. I didn't know how bad it was. It was embarrassing. I was like, what the fuck are you doing over there?

And you were just like and apparently you didn't listen to me because her.

Shut up her trying to shove cards into places.

It was weird anyway, as I was shuffling too, fell out and so you know in whichy tearo card world that means you.

Got to read them.

And I thought it was very interesting despite my shitty shuffling.

I thought it was interesting.

That what fell out was two queen cards, as two queens are sitting here.

Okay, preach, bitch, preach.

So today we're going to read both cards, because that's how the world of magic works. If something jumps out at you, you take it as a sign.

Boom.

Okay. So the Queen of Swords.

The Queen of Swords combines the mental clarity and intellectual power of the suit of Swords with the maturity and receptiveness of the Queen.

You hear that you have to be a receptive if you're a queen.

Okay, okay.

This Queen of Swords notes that you are a truth seeker.

You're open to hearing the thoughts and opinions of others, but ultimately you filter that information to decipher.

What is true and what is not.

Are you a liah I'm not.

When interacting with others, you will not tolerate mistrust or excessive fluff. You prefer to get to the part of the matter without engaging in too much chit chat or gossip.

It literally sounds like me.

It also kind of reminded me of like the conversation we had this morning in our meeting and what we want to listen to or not.

Right, Yeah, we heard you, but nope.

Never Really, The Queen of Swords suggests that you have an innate ability to tell it like it is. You're a quick thinker and highly perceptive, piercing through the noise and confusion to get straight to the point. There is no beating about the bush. You're softening of your comments, opinions, and thoughts. You are upfront and honest in your views, and you expect the sign from others. For this reason, many people respect your opinion and come to you for advice when they need clarity.

Okay, okay, Queen of Swords, Okay.

People do not mess with you, not because you threaten them or inflict violence, but because you set expectations up from the front. From expectations upfront about how you want to be treated. Some people might be intimidated by you, but once they get past your tough exterior and develop a sense of trust and respect, they see your softer side.

Am I the Queen of Swords? I feel like I am her? She is me.

Okay I read the other one, babe, I pulled it up on your song.

Okay, So the second card that fell out of Jamila's trash deck.

Watch how you talk to me, bitch, Watch how you talk to me. You haven't gotten in a public fight yet. There's the first time for everything.

Oh shit, damn, Okay, you're right, but I'm not. I'm ready. You ready? You know what?

You know?

I will feature I will fuck you up, honestly. Actually, today I realized how much this week. I realized how much taller than me than you were. When we took those pictures and it was by your nipple. I was like, what the fuck is this? Am I this tiny of a human being? I didn't realize you that smalling?

That tell you those pictures?

Right?

Yeah, everybody, I am very sure.

I know these pictures are very deceiving because I have a long neck and it's true, and I have long legs. I've appear taller than I am in real live I'm only five to one?

Are you only five to one?

Wow?

You are small?

I'm six two guys right, you just said they're like, oh my god.

I'm not like five seven five six.

But I was gonna really fuck everyone happened and then be like, damn, this picture is tall.

You're a apart.

Okay, Queen of Panicles, upright, nurturing, practical, providing, financially, a working parent.

The fuck wow, I told you it was interesting that these two came out of the deck.

Okay.

In the Queen of Pentacles, a woman sits on a stone throne decorated with car decorated with carving of fruit, trees, goats, angels, and other symbols of material success and sensual pleasures. She cradles a gold coin with both hands and looks down on it with loving care, as if to nurture the symbol of wealth and material success. Okay, So the Queen of Pentacles is the nurturing mother of the material world.

At home, she knows her love for others by cooking.

She shows her love for others by cooking nutritious meals, maintaining a clean and inviting home, and giving warm cuddles to those who need it most. She is also able to work a full time job and make a financial contribution to the household. Okay, bitch, often as the primary breadwinner.

Okay, she is.

Masterful at taking care of the practical needs of work home family, while also giving her love and support to those she cares.

If this is not the cancer and scorpio the fucking tarot parts.

Literally, yeah, would you like to eat baby?

I will cuddle you mean mole.

You're like, are you talking? Are you telling the truth? Are you lying to me?

Okay?

When the Queen of Pentacles appears in the tarot reading, you are embodying the ultimate working parent archetype. You care for your family and domestic responsibilities while also making a living for yourself and creating financial abundance. You can maintain a healthy balance between home and work by integrating the two and finding your new place of flow and alignment.

Oh.

It's also important for you to live independently with a stable income.

You Oh, you basically this at.

The same time, you find time for yourself and prioritize me time in between all of your other commitments.

Shout out to self care.

And actually in tarot life world, as cards come up, I know you usually pick one. You're supposed to read them in relation to one another, So if like one comes before one like, that will change the interpretation of whatever the message may or may not be. So I'm just going to go right into my intuitive nature right now.

Oh, go for it.

I'm gonna say that these mean that even though we got news that we didn't really want to hear.

Today, it's fine.

Okay, stay clear, be clear of the plan, hear other people's straightforward opinions, but also know that the finances and the financial stability are coming, and the freedom to be more nurturing and maternal to our kids and have more free time with the abundance is also on its way. So who cares about that meeting we had earlier today? Okay, okay, yeah, because we're very clear about the messages that we're getting and we're also maternal, awesome and financially abundant, abundant.

Okay.

Well, on that note, I would like to lead us into the affirmation of the week, which I think goes beautifully with.

That reading and our feelings.

So the affirmation of the week is any door that closes leads me to bigger and better opportunities, period.

Any door that closes leads me to bigger and better opportunities, period.

Yes, yes, and I agree, m hm hm.

So anyway, Hello, Hi day, Happy hump day baby, how are you doing I'm doing good. I woke up. First of all, I stayed up way too late one day this weekend. I don't know if it was Friday or Saturday, but apparently I can't do that anymore. Okay, I'm getting residual fuck ups. On Monday, I was supposed to do something this morning. I literally went back to sleep because

So I was just like, I can't get out of bed. I'm not going to force it, go back to sleep.

And then I was just like I had to give myself a pep talk because A had to get out the fucking bed and do stuff. And then b I was just like it was very interesting to watch the energy kind of drop, and I was just like, well, this is this doesn't matter. I mean, you know, at the end of the day, we're still so very clear about where we're headed that like our affirmation said, it's one door closes, it's because it's supposed to.

And so I'm just you know, trying to stay up. How was your day?

My days started off great. I spent the weekend with a LoVa, and yeah, I was like I had like a pretty long parent baby free weekend or week weekend from the I don't know, from the Thursday till Monday, which literally never happens ever, and so it's like I got into this weird zone. Like to me, it always takes like about a day and a half to like decompress from motherhood and you're like, Okay, I don't have a kid, and you're like, oh shit, I don't and

So yeah, my this weekend, I went, excuse me, God, I keep.

Sweet Jesus this.

Week good thing.

This is a four twenty friendly autie.

I know. I'm sorry.

I'm gonna get We're gonna get bad reviews again about our eating on eating while we're podcasting. We don't really eat what we podcast. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Was it that time that I was chewing with the chips that was like two years ago.

I was the one time they're talking specifically about us we hate uh oh yeah.

So I woke up and I just I felt great. I had that call which wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. And then I went back to my love and then I was like, oh my god.

I'm in love.

And then he left and then then I was like, oh shit, it's Monday. I have like to get my shit together, and so I've just been doing that all day.

But I don't know, I've been like feeling weird.

I was telling Jamila, I was like, I think I'm having like like a love withdrawal, Like like I'm having love withdrawal, Like I got like so much love and affection all weekend from someone that I care about, and like then it was gone, and then I was And then I got that we had that conversation earlier that didn't go like how I'd hoped, and I was just like, I'm sad.

Everything was sad.

I was.

And then I was like, we have so much work to do this week. I'm like, this make's gonna be horrible, Like this make's gonna be hard. I'm like bitch relaxed. Literally, I was like, bitch, is only Monday morning.

You've got it.

You've got to try harder talking all the self care shit, I'm just melting.

Like no, it's well, we're setting ourselves up for failure. And honestly, I'm we we have okay, So we have a Our show is coming up. Our show is on Saturday, which I am really excited about. I think it's gonna be dope. It's just like whenever we get ready for a show, there's like just a lot of anxiety. Like at least now we kind of have like somewhat of a team that can kind of help us, but even then,

Mercury is a metro great.

Yeah, So I've just been like thinking about all those things. But it's gonna be great.

Everything is gonna be great.

Well, the one good thing about what we do is we like hyperventilate and then it is always great.

It is, It's always always fucking great. So I don't know why I'm gonna stop today, I'm stopping. I'm stopping I didn't.

It's my anxiety.

Denouncing my anxiety. Fuck that.

You should denounce your anxiety if you're driving right now or your kid is being fucking annoying in the backseat.

Fuck it, denounced that ship, denounce that. Yeah, not today.

I ain't got time this.

Week, anxcitty.

I got too much ship to do. I'm getting it all done.

I'm reclaiming my time. No. Yeah, being a human is like, can you hold on you guys? It's her dad? Okay, hold on?

Why did my baby daddy look kind of fine right now?

What the fun was that up in my mouth? I need I'm here on the wrong show.

Go back in there and come back.

You're help.

I don't know who, Get the funk out of here. Who the fuck are you?

What are you get the.

Guys?

Everyone, Let this be a testimony.

Let this right here be a goddamn testimony that if you're having love with draws.

You need to stay away from everybody ship. It will fuck up your your perception quickly.

Can you see good? No? I don't know. That was I got flustered. It was weird. Yeah, I don't know. Get this bitch some love. You need a It's okay, I love you. You trip it? Oh my god? What's it's? Your love? It's a love, Your love is love? Oh my god, who guys tell me this has happened to you? Helps? And help? Don't you hate when that happens? Now? Was weird? I was confusing. I was so confusing.

I mean, I get it though a lot of times.

I've seen that every daddy and I think he's attractive, and then I have to remind myself.

He's a mean person. Oh yeah, you know what.

Also, I realized also i've been money.

Okay.

I did an epiphany this week. I was driving and Nigga must have drove by.

Don't couldn't see this Nigga's face just all black man, And the way I looked over to the side to look in the other car made me check myself.

I was like, bitch, what is wrong with you?

But you were just like I was to see him.

I was going to break my neck to see in that motherfucking car. I don't remember, because bitch, no one could see that far that quickly.

And you know what it made me. I was so.

Disappointed in myself that I said, oh no, this is not your fault.

It's your hormones.

It's your body, you know.

It's not even being logical. I have a theory.

It just came to me when I was acting crazy. When you're a woman of a certain age, your hormones are going crazy because it thinks you're in the period of making babies. So it's almost like primal. You're like, you know, you're just like your body is responding to the fact that you're supposed to be mating.

Well, that makes perfect time.

Actually, I said some crazy shit last night and didn't need to be set all out.

I'm telling you, you gotta be careful of this body.

Bitch.

She she should be tripping, honestly, you know, you gotta be careful with the hormones, the primal, you know, the animalistic side.

Sometimes I'm locking myself up for the next seven days. I'm going quarantine.

I'm quarantining myself from all dick and all male interaction.

Yeah, maybe even female Okay, that's it.

And it may even correlate. I don't even know.

I don't know if it's age or maybe it really correlates with our cycles.

I'm sure there's some sight like that your hormones are shifting a certain way.

Because I think I am ovulating because certain times, because certain times I'll be cool off dick, and then other times I'll be like a fucking hyena.

So it's not me, it's my hormones.

And I start ovulating tomorrow.

Who knows, you know, it doesn't. We need more research. But the point is just be careful out here. Your body will play tricks on you.

It's you.

Gotta use your logic. They're two different people. You gotta gotta integrate them. Yeah.

Yeah, So, because I'm a doctor, apparently everything you said, I'm like, she's right, Yes, hormones check woman of a certain age, check.

Doctor Mila math. We here to talk about female reproduction hormones. Okay, I approved this message.

Oh my god.

Well I also because I was so I was on, wait, what is oh my god? Okay, yeah, because I literally was in the kitchen I was telling to Mela. I was like, I think I'm having love withdrawals, and she looked at me like, what the fuck are you talking about. I was like, I don't know, Like I just I've been in such a great space and like something just

I don't know.

And then I was like, I just feel like I just got all this. My cup was like overflowing and I'm depleted. I'm depleted somehow it's been drained somehow. I don't know when it happened, but I was looking up some of the symptoms of withdrawal and in love addiction and in sects because apparently they're they go hand in hand.

And I'm gonna guess, and I don't know if I'm right about this. I have a feeling again, doctor Mela math on love and relationships. I have a feeling that women there are more women who have love addictions than men.

More women.

Yes, I would say that too, because innately are we want to nurture and to love and to feel that love, you know, because we're given Like the fucking fairy tale narrative from straight out the Kouchi.

It doesn't really say which one has the most, but I'm gonna probably say that is love a form of addiction?

You may be addicted to love.

Intense romance can often come with symptoms resembling addiction, euphoria, craving, dependence, withdrawal, and relapse. The brain scans have shown that it can be linked to drug addiction, like activity in the brain's reward centers.

Damn yeah, So feeling love from someone else and like attention and companionship from someone else probably does affect the brain the same way that like any drug would.

Oh my god, Okay, it says. Is love addiction a mental illness?

Jesus Christ, it probably is.

Even though love addiction is not recognized by DSM five as a specific diagnosis, there is enough literature data to support its characterization as an end funded mental disorder.

Well, that disorder is probably the lack of self love.

Some of the symptoms are exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, We'll see how I sleep tonight, dreams of acting out behaviors okay, intense loneliness and distress forgetting the bad and remembering the good, obsessive thinking, depression, anxiety, denial.

This just sounds like womanhood.

This is.

Bites I am bitous.

Normal.

It couldn't be married. Couldn't we we'd be lovely together.

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe she tried different differently. I mean, I think that sounds pretty accurate. I don't know how to cope. It says how to cope, write a letter to your addiction outlining why you're leaving it behind. Dear love, list the destructive behaviors, the addiction has led you to do, how it has limited you, and what is motivating you to change. If your addiction involves other people, cut off all communication with them with a clear conversation about your commitment to recovery, Okay,

To like you said, you don't want to tell me you know.

I'm even guess that would work because someone told me I be like Nigga, I find with you no problem.

Just told me that, No, you're addicted to love me. I am.

I have an addiction.

I have a love addiction because I'm mad love me, Nigga. I just want to give a shout out to my open relationship boyfriend Orlando Roy Wow full name wow of a harder Sauce podcast, because today, ladies, it's my man's thirtieth birthday.

He made thirty, so.

I never really got to do like one of those radio song requests, and I love so much.

That's what if you could, what would the song be?

Damn it, that's so good. I don't know.

I can't think of it right now. I'm on the spot, but I just want to be like how Lando Roy is me from the valley.

I just want to say, I love you. Happy birthday, baby.

Those since you walked into my life, nothing's being the same, honestly, for real.

Have ever heard them?

Yeah?

I love them.

Happy birthday, Orlando, Happy birthday. Welcome to your thirties, thirty thirty, Welcome to your thirties. It's better from here, baby, this gets better. Love, addiction, all kinds of shit.

Oh that's what made me think of him, because I feel like loving Orlando and our open bondship, I feel like it's definitely it's such a healthy love and I'm never going to forget it. I'm never I'm gonna always hold the standard because I don't have to be anybody different than just who the fuck I am. I don't have to lie about shit like it's a very beautiful place to be, and it's very much works against my love addiction, because I think that everybody has had a

We have some love addiction.

That's true.

So shout out to my boo.

He's thirty today and together we are embarking on a non love addiction.

Real love. Healthy love prevents love addictions.

And also like speaking so as my love, that was my lover all weekend, unhealthy love, because I feel.

Like I'm happy with draw No, no, no, no, I'm just kidding. Well, I think what it really says is one thing, it's healthy. Like sometimes you missing it is that's fine, especially when you've been with.

Them for five days.

But what I think it is is like even for us, even like in the thoughts about this meeting not going exactly like we wanted to, you know, it's just about like the Buddha.

The Buddha like lifestyles that like shit is going to happen.

That's what guaranteed.

That's guaranteed, and like relationships will come and go, things will change in relationships. Sometimes it is not going to make you that excited. It's just that you're with them for five days straight and it was like a treat. But you even even that same very healthy love, you could move in with the motherfucker and you'll get bored or you'll get like it won't be as high high high.

Everything's not going to be these highs.

But it's in maintaining like it's in maintaining a like high in your in the fluidity of the ups and the downs, you know what i mean, Like, because I'm sure you guys hear us of the podcast week to weeks sounding crazy, like I'm so I'm working out every day, I'm working up at six am, I'm manifesting everything perfect. You're like, okay, bitch, and then next week we're like, I'm on edge, nobody loves me.

Hey, this is my testimony, open diary, bitch.

Oh bit fucking diary.

Yeah, I mean it's true, it's true, and I'm fine, I'm good.

I just I think.

I think that I I'm really have gotten really good at setting boundaries. However, there's certain things that I know I notice in myself that like still exists that I need to work on, which is like obsessiveness, obsessiveness like I can become you sual that psycho laugh That was.

That was race between that and my wheezing, because I.

Bitch is the joker. Who are you channeling your fucking Gemini mash?

Oh my god, I really am falling apart.

I thought my baby daddy was fine for a sec. Wow, I think that, Uh yeah, there's an obsessiveness I have. I think with men, like with the people that I love in general, like males, males that I love, whether it's daddy issues or.

Just what do you mean an obsessiveness like when.

I really love when I love you, like I will think about you all day and also just well I don't really been thinking about him all day.

I guess.

I guess it's like, well, it's fun, it's fun to fantasize. It's like high school girl, schoolgirl.

Like I guess they start like building frameworks of expectation and like I don't want that, like I really truly don't want that, but I start feeling like this this is I'm like, okay, chill. Like even when I what I said to him in the bed.

The other night, like today, what I told you. Yeah, when you told me that, I.

Was like, oh intense for me.

It's like me, I was like, I'm setting a boundary, but also I'm being crazy.

Yeah, I don't even know if that's the boundary. That's a timeframe bit like an expectation in the.

Next five to six months, approximately on July first, actually revisit this conversation, and.

If these things haven't happened, then I'm out.

Yeah, like that just said, I don't know.

I do feel like.

Sometimes you I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like there's got to be sometimes in spaces and places where people know like, Okay, I got to figure this out, you know, let me figure this out too. Let me not just like live in La la land and La La space and think that this is how it's going to be forever and but.

So so yeah, so what do you when you say this is how it's going to be forever? What if you're in a good space with him right now, what would be wrong staying in this space.

I need commitment, Okay, that's just yeah, that's what.

I don't know if I want that, but I know that, Like you don't know if you want that, but you need commitment.

Well, it just what the fun that is gonna make any sense?

I guess it's like we've been down this road for a long time, and I just feel like I don't want to waste time any more time if it's not gonna if we're both not gonna at some point get on the same page, because I'm taking up a lot of space energetically for this person because we have a history and like I love him, I really truly love him, you know, And but I also know I don't want to be in a relationship right now. But I feel like I also don't want to take up I don't know,

But then there's the.

Other part of me that I don't know, maybe that's in anxiety me and it's telling me like, no, you gotta figure the sh out bitch, like you're not gonna do this forever, Like what if you're missing out on like another epic love because you're over here wasting your space and energy with someone that like you're.

Not You're not.

This isn't gonna work out, you know. So I don't know. It's just it's the battle of like being like.

An overthinker and then being a woman overthinker, flowy, chill woman, like, well, I'm flowy, but I'm an overthinker.

It's like a part of even I feel you because I think that's kind of what we do, you know, like we want to know because ultimately it feels like if I don't know, but the.

Thing is like I don't want to know, but and then I feel like by then I will want to So like I.

Think, if we don't know, and then what does that mean?

Like what if I'm not with anyone? Because I'm just so flowy for the rest of my life. That's what That's what it is. That's what it is. I'm so flowy that what if I flow so hard?

I'm like I wake up one.

Day like fuck, I shouldn't have flown so hard.

I should have settled down because even with Orlando, you know, like that has come up because that's what bitches do, that's what I do. I'm like, I'll let go back and forth in my mind, like he's too young, he can't be nobody step daddy.

He lived far, you know, like we're.

Like besties, I mean, or like try to like make it logical in my head. But I'm like, bitch, I don't I don't want a relationship right now, and I don't want to limit my relationship like how it grows or what it looks like with him thinking that there's some destination because we've discussed, like he could have a.

Full on like get a girlfriend and.

Have an augous relationship and I'd be like, oh, yeah, I love her for you. I love that, like I want to meet her, you know what I mean. Like I've gone through that too, like and I don't know.

It is hard.

I don't get it.

Being a woman is like tomorrow and might listen to this and be like, actually, I don't feel that way anymore.

That was crazy and actually, why did you say that to him? No, wonder he's not calling you back, bitch. No, I don't know. It's like.

I mean that's and there's obviously like there is a hesitation because.

Like I don't want to be his girlfriend.

I don't want to be a girlfriend to anyone right now. But also like there's this weird there's all this also like this feeling, and lately I've been feeling it more of like urgency, Like I don't ever feel that way, but lately I've been having like brief moments, not an overall feeling, but like moments of like do I got to.

Figure the shot out?

Soon?

Like?

Am I supposed?

I have?

Like two people I know this week I saw posts freezing their eggs and they're younger than men.

Lie, they were.

Like documenting their they're documenting their egg freezing. Yes, yes, so I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, is this something I have to consider? Can you start thinking about this? But I want to waste my time with this nigga? Do I should? I like just be open, real real open, so then anything can flow.

In Like well, well, it's just like anxiety that there's not enough time, that like you're gonna blank and something's gonna be gone.

Well, because it does go that way, it feels like it's I feel like there's moments in time where I'm like, how the fuck am I here right now?

Like that that she went by the fact, right, I mean even iris she's.

Like a walking time stamp, Like I look at her and I'm just like, oh shit, Like, how the fuck did we get from here to now?

You're like a thirteen year old with fucking corn.

Row braids, like rolling around here with fucking curly ends and shit Like I'm like you were just like had one curl and no teeth, right, Like what the fuck?

So I don't know.

I guess this week, I'm just feeling like I feel like my feeling like my age. I'm feeling like there's a part of me that's becoming insecure about my age. And I don't know if it's other people's insecurities, but because there are people around me that like say weird shit, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

And I'm like I'm and now I'm like, am I right? You know? Overall I don't feel that way.

But these gray baby hairs are not helping anybody's fucking feelings without age, and neither are these fucking reminders on my phone that nobody asked to have photos, Like with these photos that they just open up my phone, It's like a.

Triggering ass photo on my phone.

I'm like, why this is that? Facebook, bitch?

I remember when you were.

Like sixteen and you know, didn't have any fat missing from.

Under your eye.

I'm like, oh, yeah I do now, Thanks thanks a lot.

So anyway, welcome to our inner psychoe thoughts. I'm young, No I'm not. I'm old for sure. It's don't have any more babies. I want a boyfriend? No I don't, Yes I do. I'll give you six months. I've in an open relationship, not anymore, psycho.

Oh gosh, you guys have to come to our live show. It's gonna be so it's actually, it's gonna be so fun. I'm so excited. We are gonna have a few special guests we're gonna have.

Should we tell them? Are we going to tell them? Should we tell the people who our guests are?

Yeah, okay, We're having sexual essentials as a guest, which I'm really excited.

You guys. We took her dick writing and wait, dick.

Writing Escorting a masturbation writing in class.

We took a two day course.

We did a two day course and I'm here as a motherfucker.

I'm here to a testimony.

Okay, this is a motherfucking review sexual essential essentials.

That's what happens after you take a class's sensuals Isn't that? Okay?

She could teach you anything you want to know. She's a master at her fucking craft, A master, I tell.

You, the fucking beautiful goddess master.

We went to her deep throating and mass weight what was it, masturbation and scorting class that was day one, which it was so amazing to see, like there were like two hundred women in that room, all there to learn about their self pleasure, and like a lot of cameras were on and know we were there not masters, because I know when I interviewed her when she came on the podcast, I was like, so, what do y'all do any.

Of these classes a camera? Like what's going on? No?

No, wait, because we were at our friend's house to take the mass station and squirting class, and so I was telling her, I'm like, fuck, at six, we have to take a masurin a scoring class.

She's like, yeah, but you could have to go in the room. I'm like okay, whatever.

And then later it dawned on me that she's really First of all, what are our.

Best friend in the world, shout out to Nisha. She was gonna let us go in her.

Bedroom and squirrel masturbated squirt all over the room for the sake of the class, which only.

Your bestest friends will be.

You're like, yeah, you can do it, but just not right here, not in a living room.

So so the answer is no, everyone's not open legs masturbating on camera.

But but you.

Are getting like, like, it's it's I don't want to give away too much.

It's just great. It's amazing.

She's a great teacher, so informative, entertaining as fuck.

First of all, hilarious.

And then we went to the dick writing and dig deep throating class and that was if you saw our Patreon where we took a deep throating class from Sex Essentials. This one is like on crack Okay, this one is like highly extensive. I learned a lot and I've put it to you and let me tell you, I'm here to say the ship fucking works.

The ship. You thought you were good at second dick, you're not. You're not. You're trash.

Yeah, honestly, you're trash.

You're on the low spectrum of just okay.

Mediocre at best of four two point eight. Oh oh my god.

But anyway, she's gonna be on the she's coming, she's coming to the show, and I can't wait to have her.

I can't wait to have her on.

And then we're having Bruna, who is going to be doing a reading, which if you guys came to our Manifestation event, you know Bruna, and you definitely remember her reading because it was spot on. It was people were crying, it was crazy, it.

Was yeah, she was She's on her ship, she's on this she's with the And we're also be joined by Jessica Rose, who I hope you guys saw our fucking music video appearance because we're video hos now.

Yeah, yeah, you guys, we are full fledged. I am Melissa Ford. Yeah, I'm Melissa Ford.

Yeah.

In the early two thousand, what's another one?

Who are you gotta be another name?

There was a Gloria, Oh, Gloria from the Big Pimp video or the Body was here the Buffy the Body, Buffy.

I think you're Buffy the Body because you're the big body Bens. Duh.

Yep, so we lived out all of our dreams, even wore my cutoff booty shorts.

She did the remix of Doja Cat and Sweedy song best Friend, which has been my shit.

I told I swear to God like I manifested this ship.

You can't tell me I didn't because I've been telling Jamila for like four weeks. But I want to make TikTok, which I still think we're best friend. I was we have to do it, and every time we we get to around to doing it, it's late and we're like, yeah, probably not.

Going to make a best friend TikTok. Eleven pm.

Yeah, dinner first.

So Jessica asked us if she could write a song, you know, inspired by that.

No, she just wrote it. She didn't even tell me.

She told me.

She was like she wouldn't wanting to do it, but then she was like, I'm gonna do it with this song. I was like, shut the fuck up, You're not doing it with this song. But it's bomb. It's hilarious. Shout out to Sebastian and Resa who helped us because you would have been there to character everything.

Yeah.

But anyway, Oh wait, do we want to read a horry real quick.

Oh yeah, do you have it? I want?

This one is a good one.

Oh who so oh speaking of horries, can you guys please submit your hories top notch horries.

For the show.

We need to read them from anonymous hories for the show.

Come on, bring your best, bring your.

Best, because I don't try to play us with.

Like oh and then I know, honestly make us feel like we're the biggest hoes in the internet, and that can't be true.

No, send them in. It's anonymous.

Okay, so here we go.

Hey, so, back in my day, I had a lot of horries, but selective memory has has had it with only one. Okay, anyways, a few years wait, you guys, I'm sorry, I stop smoking weed anyway'd actually, anyways, a few years back before my hobbies, by hobby, I used to fuck this Nigerian guy.

This is actually an important detail.

Okay Nigerian Okay, what are you doing looking for this?

Later?

Anyway, he was an international playboy, so it was nothing serious, but whenever he was in town, we would do our thing.

We got out, We went out to.

A lavish restaurant and then back to a nice hotel where he would give me gifts or money for school books, laptop or.

Whatever I needed.

Damning also some bombastic oh ps.

Anyway, one day he came through.

He came through and we were fucking, and he was about to come, so I started sucking his dick.

Tell me why.

All I felt was a faucet of what I thought was pissed. The amount of liquid came out of his dick, had my mouth full, puff out cheeks, and it all kept going.

I was pissed.

I cursed him out, like did you just fucking piss in my mouth? I was livid, and I'm a bitch when I'm mad. He was like, I guess I'm the only African man you've ever been with. He's like, oh, we African men can come like that. Oh we oh he said, Oh, we African men can come like that when it's really good. So what you got out of it is that was the male version of squirting, the male version of squirting. I still didn't believe his ass. I was like, nah, you pissed in my mouth. Left

I don't know.

I never heard anyone else talk about this happening to them. Till this day, I still don't know what that was. That I can say. The amount of liquor that came out of Batman's dick was something I ain't never seen before.

African men right into the show, let us know, women with African men right into the show, let us know.

Yeah, if there's any women that have African men as husbands or partners or former lovers who have had a faucet full of liquid in their mouth, male squirt, let us know.

Let us know.

So, I mean, let's good.

To know just in case, I mean, any African men, and I won't be up.

I like African men.

I've never experienced this from an African man. Interesting last thing, guys, if you are on our Patreon, you guys are up for a treat because if you are part of our Patreon tribe, you are getting a discount to our live show on Saturday. So if you are a Patreon make sure you go to our patreon to check out what that code is. And if you're not a part of Patreon, you should be because it's lit.

It's lit, It's lit over there.

We have a deep throat class over their restrectional essentials.

We have sex positions one on one.

We have lots of confessions, private things we don't want to talk about on here.

And you can watch all of our episodes instead of listening to our scratchy asthmatic voices, and make sure you come to our live show. I'm gonna leave a link to the event right in the episode description. I can't wait to see you guys. It's gonna be Ladies' night.

We turn n in.

Ebb Rabastian is performing, Sebastian Mego's performing.

Pour your drinks. We're gonna play some drinking games.

So if you don't know what you're doing this weekend, you don't have a Valentine's Day, Fuck Valentine's Day anyway, because it's made up, fucking bullshit ass holiday. But if you love Valentine's Day, you should also still come because.

We're gonna have a great time.

We're gonna play a lot of drinking games that you guys can play with your friends at home.

Or on Zoom or however you want to do it. You can just drink with us too. But yeah, I love you.

Hey, guys, have you joined Patreon, where we offer even more juicy content.

Yes, y'all.

We have secret episodes, secret segments, and some very personal blog posts that we don't share on the interwebs, So make sure you go check out our Patreon. That's patreon dot com. Backslash, Good Moms, Bad Choices.

Here's a little sneak peek.

I mean, she goes through like a whole series on how to warm up your asshole before actually having anal sex. You know what she also says is she's like, men, look, you're gonna put it in someone's but you should really know what that's like.

That that actually kind of makes sense to me. I think it's fair. I mean, I think it's and I think it's hot.

Actually, do you like to watch like gay sacks like porn?

Mhm