Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Nila, and it's Wednesday, Jula, Happy Wednesday.
Happy Wednesday. What I don't know? This is our first time recording separately, even though.
That's why we're awkward.
Hell what you said. Even though we're in the same city, we sometimes we don't. We even get tired of each other, even though even though even when we do we still have to talk.
Sometimes it's just you know, I have big plans today. Well actually I have actually no plans actually, and I don't have my daughter for the next like hopefully day and a half. And like I hadn't got no man to come over here. I mean I do have a man, but like he's not coming.
I have mine. He's just not coming over.
He's just not coming. He's not invited today. And I just need me time. Just no energies in my space except right now via the zoom the internets.
I'm actually I'm happy that you mandated this space because I didn't like mandated. Bitch, Like I don't really want to be around anyone tomorrow. I'm like, I don't want to see you either, bitch. Actually I just saw you all day, but today I was like, you know what, I don't want to I don't want to see anybody today, and I just want to get high and get my nails done, and I hope nobody talks to me.
I think I'm even gonna like leave my phone. I think I'm gonna get crazy leave my phone behind. I don't for what, What the fuck do I need it for behind?
I thought you said you weren't going anywhere.
Well, I mean if I do leave, like I can just leave it behind, or I can actually just turn it off.
I'm gonna try that because I have to really get it done, and I'm the number one distracted person.
Like there's really no reason for me to have my phone on. Like Ari's with her dad. He's got it like work. I have nothing for work on the plate today except this, and that's it.
I know. It's you know what, we love our job so much that sometimes it's hard to forget not to think about it.
It's so it's impossible.
I don't know.
I'm like talking to people all day long on fucking Instagram. I need a break. I love y'all.
BRB, No, honestly, okay, Speaking of technologies and conversations last night me an adventure Bay. This is the most romantic educational thing I've ever done. He is reading a new book called Okay, I forgot to write it down. Whatever. It's like a book about men and how they like their approach to loving women is wrong. It's like, I
really want you to hear this book. So he gave me his audible log in and then we called each other on speakerphone and listened together to the audible to like five chapters and then like we would pause and discuss it and.
Then go back. Wow, this is so mature.
It was so mature. I was like, this is lovely. I'll see you tomorrow evening for the rest of our chapters.
Wow, okay, all right, I'm gonna have to try this.
It was really nice. And the book is really about men, and if so, I was just like interested in seeing it. But he talks hence my situation, my sticky situation I got myself into, and my begging. He really talks about women about you know, like if you're attracted to a certain type of woman who's kind of wild, and he specifically so it's not trustworthy and you know, but this is what the book said, she's a little wild, just
not trustworthy. But there's a lot of passion and polarity in the relationship because there's a high female energy compared to like a high male energy. And then like you could find a safer woman who might have good conversation and maybe trustworthy, but it's going to lack of passion and and he's like, women need to feel comfortable, even if she hurts you, even if she fucks up. You need to press into her and bleed love into all
of her pores. He's like, press her up against the wall and bleed all of your love like water into her poor.
What book is this?
Okay, it's called It's all The Way of the Superior Man by David Dida d Ei Da.
So, I don't know if I like that book title.
The Way of the Superior Man. At first I was, I was interested about it, but it talks a loud about polarity and female and masculine and feminine energy, and not in the sense of like I'm a female, you're a male, but just like we all kind of have different energies, and like if I have more masculine energy, I might attract a man that has more feminine energy, and that as soon as we neutralize the energies that
we know what, we kind of become friends. If I'm doing things that is, I generally expect a man to do make decisions, and you know, i'd lack. I'll start to trust for him to make decisions if I have to start making them, and then we'll become friends because it will lack in the bedroom. Anyway, I'm becoming very mature over here. I'm listening to Audible with my non man at night tree.
That's I mean, that's a good way to pass the time.
It didn't matter that should I mean, And it's a nice way to expand, like to have insight on things about yourself that maybe you weren't recognizing. And then for your man or your woman to have insight and and and from a third party. It's kind of therapy, like he's talking to you and then you can discuss like huh, I do do that or yes, this is true. I do need, no matter what you do, to lean into me and trust me and love me through it, because
that's what I need to trust you. So basically I recommend everybody do that.
Okay, okay, hm. Anyway, relationship tip of the day. M hmm, that's cool. Well I didn't do anything that sexy last night.
You saw me, I saw you.
And then I went to bed and I was really happy that I woke up one didn't have to do zoom school.
Oh my god.
Oh speaking of kids. Speaking of kids, you guys, we are doing an event on October twenty fourth and twenty fifth. We partnered up with Outside Cinemas. It's a drive in movie experience in downtown LA. So if you're in the LA area, you definitely definitely want to come. It's actually my birthday and it's all being out with you girl on my birthday. Bring the kids.
It's also a Halloween event because if you're like anything like us, we're obsessed.
No how serious we take this ship.
This is our most serious holiday of the year. Of course, it's Halloween, and the fact that people are discussing it's being canceled is absolutely fucking absurd. And so Halloween is not canceled. We are meeting up in downtown LA at a drive in. It's a two day we have. There's two opportunities to come, bring the kids, pop open your trunk bycorn. They're having a contact patching Coco. We're watching Coco,
which is like the best movie. We're dressing up in our costumes so your kids get the opportunity to showcase their costumes. There'll be a car costume contest with Coco and friends. There's a mobile pumpkin patch. Each kid will receive a little mini pumpkin, and there is going to be a photo activation, so your kid will have the
opportunity to get out of their car buy appointment. Only you and your family or whoever's in your car can go take cool pictures with you know, a little setup and it will be like a little old, safe, COVID friendly Halloween celebration. So like, don't don't be scared about what we're going to do this year. We got you covered. Go to Outside Cinema and get these tickets.
Yeah, go to outside Cinemas dot com. Definitely, it's gonna be it's it's gonna be so much fun. And tickets are really limited because it is a COVID friendly event and we're really taking into mind so social distancing for the kids, but also still wanting them to have a good time and be able to like trigger read and do the pumpkin thing and like, you know, I expect y'all to bring your best Halloween costume game, Okay, because I already got mine in the in the mail. Okay,
I'm ready. I gotta do a little few more tweaks to my Blackest King outfit. But when you, bitch and see me on the scene looking like find your way back, Oh my god.
That's what you're gonna wear?
That one? You know she does that?
Are you getting like a boom box so you could just like bust out in this dance?
Oh my god. It's such a fucking good idea.
But first of all, if you don't have Patreon, you need to get it now. Just to see Erica doing this Beyonce and interpretation, it's very.
Daddy used to keep me too.
Wow, who knew you've been following the move so.
Bitch, I've watched that video so many times. It's so fucking dope. Her outfit, that's like my one of my favorite outfits of the whole shit. Irie. I was trying to get her to do this other blue Ivy look. She's really into blue Ivy. I really wanted her to do the My Power blue Ivy look, but she chose the brownskin girl look, which is like debutante with of course, because it's like a princess, right. I saw Beyonce and Blue. I expect you to come through. I know, Mila, you're
gonna come. You're gonna come to serve.
Yep.
But actually Sunday, the twenty fifth is my birthday, so come out. You know it's a Detos celebration. I am. I am an altar. I am accepting gifts me too, O friend that to.
Me, preferably weed.
I am a walking altar. I will accept all gifts, cannabis and everything else, jewelry, candles or hair oils. Bring them to hair oils. Wow, bitch, Yes, my hair's been so dry lately. I don't know what's going on.
No, it's gonna be really really fun and really safe. And for those parents or families that are not comfortable with the trunk or treating, yes it's trunk or treating a trigger treating, all the kids will get a little bit of candy, emphasis on a little bit, but we'll have uh, we'll have things for the window red or green. If you feel comfortable, you could put it in the window green. Come on, give us candy. And if you
don't feel comfortable. You could just put it on red without even having to be awkward and tell anyone and people will know to roll right pastill roll back. It's super fun. We've been taking the kids and it's just something to do. There's not much to do right now. It's an experience they get to chill.
Love that. I ever since we went like a few weeks ago to see Space Jam with the kids, Like outside cinema is so cool because IRA's never been to a drive in. I don't really I feel like I went when I was a kid, but I don't really remember, but like I just love it or something. It's just like, I don't know. It's just an experience to have with your kid and like it's easy.
You just chill sit there, it's true, and talk.
And the food is bombed too. The food is actually really bomb.
I'm rolling weed right now and I'm pretty sure I got a weed crumb in my eye. But speaking of kids and weed, we have a very special episode for you today, very educational episode. And I don't know how we've waited this long to do this episode. We've done some similar but this one is specific to our Canna mamas out there.
Our cannabis, what did you let's see you boo ganggang? And also the ones that aren't can of mamas but you know, don't you know, want to be want to normalize weed in their households, even if they don't smoke weed. We get a lot of questions all the time about
how we talk about weed with our kids. Obviously, our kids are five, and there's there's some of you have kids that are much older and maybe haven't you haven't started that conversation yet you feel either late to the party or you don't know where to start, or maybe your views on cannabis have recently shifted and you want to start, you know, a new view of how you and your kids talk about cannabis. This is a really great list. We came up with five easy.
Ways the first and for those of you who didn't know, I kind of encouraged Erica on her kid in her Kid in Cannabis Journey when we started hanging out more via the podcast. This is definitely a topic that people get weird about, and especially if I know we're in LA. It's it's legal here, so it's a lot more normalized. But I think normalizing weed and normalizing smoking weed is
super important in introducing cannabis to our kids. If it's if something seems scary, if it seems like this big, scary illegal drug, then your kid will kind of have that perception of it going into their their life. But if we normalize it at a young age, if we let them know, hey, mommy's not doing anything wrong. I smoke because mommy needs a break or whatever. It's not a big deal. I tell Luna, Hey, mommy's smoking weed right now. Go inside. Look at this flower, you know,
I name it. I show her. I want her to smell it. I want her to see it, because then she realizes it's not some big scary drug or whatever they say to you at the Dare commercials. It is simply a flower.
Yeah. I agree like not making it a big deal. And for those parents that don't smoke, I think the opportunity you have is that when you when your child does maybe see someone smoking on TV or anything, calling it out there and saying like they're not doing anything wrong, it's not a big deal. Or like you know, sometimes kids like because they've already been conditioned and they've already someone has already touched them, and their perception of what
is good and bad, like they can be. They'll giggle or they'll like, I know, Iri like sometimes when she thinks things are like naughty, like she'll like, you know, she laughs and giggles, and it's like those are the times you're like, hey, like, actually that's not weird at all like that. I mean, no, mommy doesn't do that. But like if they do, it's not it's not a bad thing as long as they you know, they're doing
it responsibly. So I think that normalizing it again, like Jamila said talking about it, it is a flower showing them showing them weed, especially if you are a can of mom, like you have weed in your possession, pull it out, show it to them so that they know what it looks like, so it's not the scary thing that they don't even like they just see people smoking and they don't actually know what it is.
I know, for both Erica and I, our parents were like smoking in secret all the time. But weed is the loudest drug there is. You can smell it, so like it's almost insulting to your kids to be like nothing's happening over here, you know, Like I felt super insulted as a kid like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? What the fuck are you doing out there?
Well, just yeah, it automatically starts this layer of distrust.
This layer of distrust and that your parent is doing something really scary. I think it's really important that your kid know that what you're doing isn't something really bad, that you're not a criminal, but while partaking and so that is initially will always change their perception, you know, going into trychildhood and then adolescents and adulthood.
Or second tip we would give parents who are trying to figure out how to discuss cannabis with their kids is education. I mean, educating your kid is really important about it. I think having an ongoing conversation with your child about it, not you just kind of saying, okay, this is what it is and then moving on and
hoping that that's enough. If you have kids that are you know, teenagers, maybe explaining what you're using using it for so, explaining the difference, the differences between medical and recreational, and you know, obviously a lot of a lot of times those lines blur, for sure, I mean, for sure, on my end, absolutely, I think I think Mela, you can agree to that.
But absolutely this is a I mean because what I think. I think we've used it both medically and recreationally. But I think it's important that kids know. In fact, our kids per specifically know even though they're five, mommies smell, you know, sometimes during work breaks and sometimes during work. Erica and I really do use weed as a tool as a release to relax and also as a creative tool to kind of help take us there to get in our creative process for different things. And I think
it's important that we explain that to children. I also think I've also explained to Luna, like it helps people who are really sick, you know her she her grandmother had cancer. You know, I use that as an example to help with appetite, to help with actual medical coal conditions. And I think we forget that, as you know, in society, as they've painted as such a negative thing, that weed actually helps people and who have very are very ill.
And it's important to remember that it is a sacred herb that is in medicine, and then it comes from the earth, and things that come from the earth rarely are here to harm us, and a lot of times they're here to aid us. And weat is one of those.
Things, right, I mean, if you're using weed for medical use only or sometimes those lines get blurred. I mean medically it's medicine. That's it. Like there's not kids understand what that means. And I think like maybe even saying to a kid, like if you saw, like you know, my medicine for my heart condition, my diabetes, like, are you gonna start putting needles in your arm? Like you don't touch other people's medicine, right, Like, so you shouldn't touch my medicine.
Or you don't use medicine when you don't necessarily need it, you know, right, right, So I think that's really important to let them know all of its beautiful, wonderful uses.
Yeah. I mean, we had an episode with a friend of ours, Natasha, and she's a big cannabis advocate. She's also an Indian woman and obviously has had a lot of pushback from her community about her use with cannabis, and she's very public about it, and she's used it for PTSD and anxiety and it's really helped and you should,
guys should should definitely check out that episode. But she talks about how cannabis really saved her life that she had tried to use you know, xan x'es and different types of prescribed medicine and nothing really made her feel like herself. And cannabis was something that really really helped her. So there are so many heat, there's so many studies, there's so many healing things that have improven that cannabis
assists with. And so it doesn't have to be and understanding that it is that it is.
It's not.
The scary negative thing that people use and drug addicts for drug addicts. I mean, I think when I was a kid, I remember my grandfather. I think I've talked about this on other episodes, like labeling everything as dope like dope like and in his mind too, like when he thought of dope, he thought of like heroin. Right, But like under that whole umbrella is weed, cannabis, but alcohol, for some reason, is this separate thing. And let's not
forget you guys. There was an alcohol prohibition, and essentially there's been a cannabis prohibition and it's still going on in certain states, but alcohol prohibition obviously no longer exists. I don't think anywhere in the world. I mean, I could be wrong, right, even.
Though alcohol is much more harmful than weed will ever be. It's actually like a form of poison, but.
It's now legalized and people use it if you use it responsibly, like you know, I mean, obviously, the blurs of responsibility, the lines of responsibility and alcohol get very fucked up a lot, because it really is poison in many ways, and cannabis obviously is not poison and does
not have the same side effects as alcohol. And still there's still this prohibition going along going on, but it has I think, I think progressive people and progressive states have legalized it, and that's for a reason, so that it doesn't have to be, you know, this this negative thing, especially if you're using it recreationally. Just as like simple as I pour a glass of wine, I should be able to smoke a joint. Like Nobody questions me when
I'm at a restaurant drinking three tequila sodas. But if I'm if I light up a joint, it's like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, And you know, it's speaking of alcohol. I've actually been taking a break from alcohol because I don't know if you guys follow my stories on a personal page. But I'm like a workout queen.
Now, oh, a workout queen. Okay, yeah, girl, Helton surprised.
If I start my own fitness page, I'm gonna start a side hustle of training. I'm just gonna record all of KT's workout and just like start my own shit. It's a k but low key. It's been like a little bit difficult. I'm like used to having a glass of wine at night or like a drink, and so I found this, actually found this distilled non alcoholic spirit. I've like it's the only one in the world. A friend of mine told me about it, and it's called
seed lip. So it's just it's crafted without alcohol or calories or sugar, which is really important because I'm a workout queen.
Now, oh okay, your health is fitness.
But you know what I love about it is that so it's it's flavored and like I can make it really cute, Like I put a little bit of ginger all in there, put a little muddled strawberries, and I be feeling them like I'm having a drink.
Oh okay. So it's like I've heard of like a non alcoholic beer, but I haven't. I think this is the first non alcoholic spirit ever, which is really which is really cool because just because you don't want to drink, you want to feel like you're drinking and like not necessarily a beer, so like that's.
Right, that's you, you know, like I get it now because because I haven't been drinking, and like if other people are drinking like that, you feel just like they low key make fun of you. You're like, oh, you're not drinking, especially me, because like I love I love my tequilas, and like you know, some people are like, oh, you're not drinking, So now I just be pouring up my seed lip. Nobody asks me any questions because they just assume that I'm drinking. And it's actually really good.
They have all these different flavors. I love it too because they deliver it straight to your door. So you want to check them out. Check out seed Lip Drinks dot com and you should use good Moms fifteen at check out for a little discount.
Don't say we never gave you anything. Good Mom's fifteen at seed Lip drinks dot com.
For all my mamas who either don't drink or are trying to do better in life. Drink all the time like.
Me, And that's I'm totally the person like you don't want to drink. You don't drink.
I know, bitch, I know, I don't know. I'll be mad, don't So don't be surprised when I pull up with my seed lip drink. I wat, I'm gonna start giving this shit to you. You're gonna be like, I'm so drunk, you know, like the plus.
I doubt that, but it will look like you're drinking, and so I will make fun of you less.
Anyway, back to back to the cannabis's education. Like we said talking about it, not just having the convo once.
That's another thing. Not having the convo once. It's not something you just leave. You have to. I mean, just like we train our kids about like stranger danger, don't accept food from people, don't accept don't let someone lure you into a corner. We start training them early on things like that, scenarios that could possibly happen. Do the same with weed. Do the same with those common conversations. If somebody offers you something, you come talk to me.
If you the more you strategize and have these conversations in your household, the less the more likely when it comes up your your child is going to come and be like, oh, mom, so and so mentioned this and she's trying this and then you and she's not scared. He or she is not scared to have the conversation with you. In fact, they're familiar and they're prepared about all the possible little situations and scenarios. It could happen
at a party at school, blah blah blah. You know, because these kids been trying to educate your kids for you, and you got to get down on that level.
I'm got to get ahead of it. And for those who have teenagers that you haven't had that conversation, like it's time, it's it's time. Don't wait. You're a low key kind of late, but it's okay, Like you can there's still there's still time, but it is time. So number three, like Jamila was saying, it is preparation. You know, how do you prepare your child for that inevitable moment
that they're offered weed and you aren't there. I mean, I think one of those things is I don't even want to call it this, Like there's got to be a better play way to say this, Like the state the stranger danger. I'm about to light up too. Hold on, let me light my meetups.
Speaking of smoking, made smoke and smoking, I'm actually smoking from our good friend Jessica. Well we know fourteen, Jessica. Sorry, Jessica Hooper. The I think this is the Via. This via the Via strand, which is actually delicious and smooth.
And yeah, she gave me some shit, girl, That shit knocked me the bug.
This is the sativa. This is the sativa one.
Okay, well that one probably gonna have you like up at the other. This is one she gave me.
Wait, look why I have two. This is one by my bed. This is the Indica, and then this is my one I dis rolled for the daytime. I almost smoked this because I was too lazy, but I said, I know better, and you know what. Speaking of different types of weed and educating our kids on it, these are conversations that even need to be had, especially if
you have older children. Obviously we're not breaking down the different we strands were smoking to our five year olds, but we're aware and it's taken us a long time in our adulthood to figure out what weeds work for us. We used to be very down for the sativas. Only then I started didn't Erica started giving me coffee plus the sativa dad or up and you know, And there was a time I wasn't asking what kind of weed I was smoking, and then I would feel like I
was having a fucking blacks rainy cloud over me. During the sunny days, I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't move, so I was smoking fucking into because during the day not getting shit done. So there is a weed journey that even as an adult, I'm aware I've gone on to get to a comfortable level of knowing how much I should consume, knowing when I should consume, what works for me, and you know when I should if I'm working,
if I need a hybrid, et cetera. These are conversations we need to be having with our kids, like Nigga, you can't smoke all day. You don't even know what you're smoking and what time it is. It needs to make sense and by having these conversations, they'll know, like I'm not taking that from me a little Johnny from up the street because I got to go to school. That might make me go to sleep right again.
Like yeah, with that idea, of like not taking weed from strangers. And I think even like using the analogy of like would you accept a bag of chips from a stranger on the street, Like what like if a random person came up to me on the street and off said, hey, here's some chips or at a party, just gave me some chip, I'd be like, what are these? Why? I don't Like, I would be like, you know, and like, I think the same applies to weed, Like you don't
know where this person got the weed from. You're not saying that it's a bad thing to be interested in it, but be responsible about who you're accepting things from. You have no idea, especially now in this day and age with all these other fucking weird ash strains.
What's salvia?
Well, salvia too, like sala as.
A synthetic weed or some shit that makes you crazy.
There's all types of weird shit out there that have and you just don't know where people are getting things.
People are lacing shit.
Parent for me as a parent, like I don't want to instill fear, but I also but I do want them to know. Like Nick, just come over here and ask me if you're interested if you got someone offered you some weed at a party and like, you know,
you are now interested. You said no, you're now interested, Like talk to me about it because I would rather that And you say no than like you take some weed and then like you're so high that you can't even move, like because I have literally smoked indicas where like, bitch, I was like, I definitely can't drive for sure, Like know your limits, because there are limits in weed. There isn't amount of weed you can smoke, where like you're you probably should not be operating a vehicle.
Oh no, it's happened to me. And now I'm gonna tell my as soon as it is old enough to understand this story, I'm gonna tell her. One time I was driving and I was so fucking high. I was at a red light and then the green light turned and my friend was like go and I was like looking for the gas with my foot, but I couldn't find it. You guys, I couldn't find it. I swear, I see, bitch. On one time I smashed my own finger in the door of the car and I had to like a quick thought of like trying to pull
it out before first opening the door. This is all high shit it.
This is why I don't believe you need to tell them, like people will try to say, like, man, no, like there's no such thing as being too high to drive, like you can always drive when you smoke weed. No, that's a lie.
There are such things as being too hot.
There are limits. There are such thing as being too hot. Now, can you overdose on cannabis? No, it would be almost damn near impossible. I think that. I can't remember. I was watching I read some study on it, and it was like you'd have to consume Like I don't think it's ever pounds of weed in like an hour. That is literally basically you can't. It's impossible. So no, and and that should and that and can you overdose on alcohol? Yeah,
you can. So that just gives you the perspective on like the obviously the safety and the spectrum, but like you still need to be responsible.
I mean so, I think I'm just gonna say even the fact that alcohol is so damaging to the body it's literally called intoxic toxication, like it literally the only reason and it was taken away and then brought back is because they realized they had a way to make money on it. By taxing it. At the end of the day, you know, I'm anti government, even though I am gonna vote. Oh what, Yeah, I've.
Turned it into lead.
Not in belief, but you've just thought I would just would never not do it. And even if maybe it is rigged, which it probably is, I'm gonna at least do whatever I can in my power to not put any woman in a position to not be able to get an abortion.
I think.
I'm so happy to hear that, amongst other things. But being as anti government as I am, you have to be real about like the things we're consuming and the information we're consuming. And like alcohol is terrible, I know because I drink, and like it makes you the physically sick, much much more ill than the power of cannabis and the healing components of cannabis. But up until now, in certain places it hasn't. They had and had a way
to make it taxable. The government and the laws don't necessarily give a fuck about your health, your wealth, your spirit, what's healthy for you. They care about this money. So I think a lot of our podcasts and even this conversation, when coming to cannabis and normalizing it, is like we have to re educate ourselves and dismantled what we've been taught and what we've been fed and really see what's the truth? You know, Like is this plant that I
can grow that's naturally made by God bad? Or is this like highly toxic liquor that they package and beautifully colored bottles so we can consume it? Is that actually damaging? But that's legal as soon as my kid turns twenty one and in some places eighteen, you know. So I just think the truth sticking with the truth and not just what you've been taught or what school has been taught you're socially what we've been taught, but really the truth, finding information that's true.
I agree. I also think that how your kids can learn or be prepared to handle certain scenarios is just actually relating them to your own personal life, Like for me, like I remember the first time I was offered cannabis, you know, and like what those scenarios look like and the different stances that you can take, Like sometimes kids just need clear direction, like hey, listen, Like you might be at a party and some guy like you don't know that seems cool, is gonna be smoking a blunt
and he's gonna pass it to you, and you might feel peer pressured to say yes. You might be intrigued to say yes. You might be like fuck no, but I don't know how to say no. Like these are the ways that you can handle that situation without feeling judged or you know, like and if you are intrigued, like,
let's talk about that too. So I feel like just giving them scenarios, even if they're like, you know, personal, it's always best to be personal, I think with your kids and be able to be honest with them, I think, And I think also preparation for yourself, prepare yourself for your child to maybe finally be and not finally hopefully be honest with you and say, mom, I want to smoke weed and like or asking about weed, and being prepared to be calm and not judgmental so that you
can create that trust. Like that's the hardest part because as parents we want to fly off the hand and be like what the fuck? Who Oh I knew I didn't like Jessica. I knew Jessica was smoking that weed. Is that why you're asking me? Oh, you want to do it already? You want to have like, right, what kind of weed was it? Where was it? What time was it?
That?
Like, just chill, take a breath. Being able to have that ope, that dialogue is and that trust is so crucial. I'm not telling you you can't punish your child or be stern with them or even get upset, but just be careful with that because it's hard to go back, especially if that's how you enter the place, like the first time is like you enter it tripping, like you might trip along the way later on because they're just
being irresponsible. But like, let's actually have a conversation that's okay, let's establish trust.
And remember like how your your first conversations about certain shit, sex, about drugs, about things you want to experiment with, all the dumb things that someone told you, you know, like and if you had that you had a parent, you could talk about it too. You know. It's so important. It really does in those sensitive times. It really shapes how they'll come to you with other issues in other areas too.
Right, So number four is discretion.
Discretion, This is really important. This is why I also say, like i'd like to like, I know, my kid is five, and I try to talk to her normally, like not like an adult necessarily, but in a way she understands.
But like because you know, discretion is important. You have to be able to feel out of environment and know if it's a safe space to talk about certain things, to do certain things, to know be president who you are and where you're at, you know, as black children, and you have to conduct yourself a different way in the world, and as black parents, we have to relay that to our children in a way that they're protected and they're not unaware, and also you know, without damaging them.
So it's a very difficult conversation, but it's something that we do from hopefully we touch on from the beginning.
But like with things like weed and with raising free children and freely expressive children, there are things that they might be confronted with differently as black children and weed, especially in certain places as one of them, you know, you might get caught with we and have a completely different circumstance or response than somebody else that doesn't look like you, depending on where you're at, just like in
any type of situation outside of our house. So you know, it's important that you really choose what you're doing smartly and wisely and who you're with and where you're at. If you're in Georgia, even if you're in LA, you're underage, you can go to jail. I don't Once you go to jail, I have no I can't do anything for you. That's out of my control. But if you come, if you come to me, then we could seer this thing together and I can protect you because I only want
your best interest in mine. You're gonna do what you're gonna do regardless, but like, let's do it right. If we're going to do it, let's do it the best way possible. So yeah, even having the discussion about who you discuss it with. You know, it's normal in our house, but you know down the street you're friends a Christian, don't talk about this over there. If they have questions that they don't feel copetable talking with their parents, let
them know this is a safe space. But you know, you're ass don't be going to school talking about me smoking weed or whatever we do in this household. And it's like we don't keep secrets, but we know who and when it's safe.
You know, Yeah, that's a big one, like for sure,
especially because of cannabis. And it's like like the way that it's viewed in certain places, like they are, there are people that will do the most if they find out you smoke weed around your kid too, you know, as a parent too, I think I think we me you, Jamila, we have the luxury of living in LA Like that's really not even on our fear of ours for someone to call child protective services on you, right and be like you've been smoking weed, Like we'd be like what
you know, but like that just unfortunately is not the case in certain states. And so if you you.
Just run the risk of yeah, they have to know the risks that you're taking by partaking, and why it is important the environment that you're in.
Yeah, and how it's a risk for everyone involved.
Oh my god, I feel like such a mom giving this speech right now. I'm just feeling very mamash. I'm really a parent.
Wow.
Yeah, I want to be having to tell them of these things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think lastly, is I mean respects. I mean some of some kids just like there, you have to respect your child's comfortability and boundaries around smoking, like smoking outside in open areas. If your child is like clearly bothered by like naturally bothered by your cannabis intake, Like you need to understand your child's boundaries and they have
to understand yours, you know. And so I think a mutual respect is really important and checking in with your kid asking them questions, and that's how you do keep the ongoing conversation going, you know. And that is kind of again like tying in the whole aspect of normalizing it. So and I was just saying, you know, and being an example of what a responsible cannabis smoker is versus
a pothead cannabis smoker. You know, your child is going to see you using cannabis in whatever ways you use cannabis. So if you use it to cope, they probably might use it to cope, you know. And if they notice that you smoke cannabis at times where you feel very upset or you know, like, you kind of do shape the way that they could potentially use it if they want it, if they were interested in it.
Yeah, I think respect also in respecting your child's boundaries, you'd be clear that like, I'm not your friend, I'm giving you respect by being honest with you. I need you to return that respect by not abusing me, allowing you to have a safe space with me because everyone doesn't have the same luxury. And yeah, I can't just get high and blow away my day. It's something I do after things are done or because I know I can do that while it enhances what I'm doing. And
some people do great. Some people smoke weight and get super productive and do great. If that's too or power too, but you I need to see that you're using it like whatever it is. It's responsible, I'll like, and it's respectful. Respect me if I'm like, don't do it at my house whatever whatever my rules are, respect them because you don't pay no bills. So it's not about like being your friend, your kid's friend and your homie and like
smoking with them per se, I think. So it just has to be like a mutual respect and everybody has their different levels of comfortability of what that looks like in your household. I didn't smoke with my dad or my parents, you know, until probably like seventeen, and that was like the first time ish and then now you know here and there. But I had to become an adult, even with my grandma. Wasn't until like my twenties, you
know what I mean. I had no idea, but everybody has a different level of comfortability in their household, so just kind of find out what that is for you. Oh and one last thing, if you're listening to this and you haven't had any conversation about cannabis, it's a secret in your house and you have a whatever, however, old kids, when to have the conversation. I just think if you could just comfortably kind of start rolling it in now, do it. If you can start normalizing something
that you've realized you should have normalized before, do it. Start. It's never too late to start having the conversation.
Especially if you really want to be up. If you want to know, some people don't want to know, some people don't want to know about that. Like I think it'll help in other areas of relationships as well. There's so many taboo things that and once those things are broken, they unlock these certain parts of your relationship that you any other way would have missed out on. Life is short, man, Connect with your kids. Don't set up boundaries with them for no reason that they don't have to be there.
Not to get deep, but like I do, like I think about like I never really fear death before, and I still don't necessarily fear it, but like the fact that I like, especially now in the time that we live in, like thinking about leaving my daughter here, I want to have the best, most honest relationship in all ways,
in the way that she allows me to. You know, I know she's going to have her her things and her secrets, and I don't expect to know everything, but like I want us to, you know, be boundless if we can. And I think a lot of that starts with just getting rid of like these fucking stupid rules about what parents how and what and how parents talk about things that are like sex and cannabis and alcohol and drugs and mental health and.
And mostly things that are inevitably going to come up no matter what they that no matter what, these things are going to come up. And how are we gonna how are we going to introduce them? How are we going to co exist with them and prepare our children in a healthy way if we're unwilling to have uncomfortable conversations and be honest and be real, you know, be human.
It's so important, I think honestly, when you give, when you give yourself permission to do that, and then you give your child permission to do that, and you encourage your child to do that. They then go out into the world and have a sense of fears and being honest in who they are, you know, because they're not trying to hide it from from themselves or from you
or from anyone. There's like a sense of confidence that you kind of are aware, you know, right, you get you kind of give your hift, your child a gift of just being and and being free to express themselves, and then you can receive it and sort through it with them versus being closed off even in some places, you know, even in some ways it affects the entire being of a child that show.
Well, we hope these help. We hope these help you guys, you know, you can hit us up if you have any questions. Please feel free to share your journey with cannabis. There's I know, there's moms that listens that have already done this. I've already done all these things.
If you have tips, please share your tips. Yeah, because I mean, I think the more as a community we discussed it too, and the more as a community we normalize it and we can kind I take from each other's you know, they're lesson plans That's how I saw another family normalize it and show their very small children plants before I ever had kids, and when I had kids years later, that's exactly the model of another you know, model I adopted and then added whatever I thought was appropriate.
But had I not seen that, maybe I don't know if I would have felt as comfortable doing it or understanding that. But just because I saw that shit that one time, that one family, I was so totally like, oh, yeah, I'm on board with that because I saw it. So I just think it's important that as a community we.
Yeah, I think if you're if you are on our Patreon, then you know that you can watch this episode. You can watch all of our episodes. If you guys have tips, leave leave the tips under in the comments of this episode. On Patreon, we have a lot of I'm like really
like our Patreon. I'm sorry, we're starting to post more like personal journals and stuff, and like I love connecting with my like I don't know those like my ride or Die tribe members over there where we really go back and forth and talk intimately about like different scenarios. I get. I get so much advice from you guys on there, like some of you guys that are like you know, have three kids, already been married, like you've lived a full life. I need all of yours. I
need all the advice I can can. So make sure you follow us on Patreon. That's a patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices. We have a lot of other secret episodes there, and like I said, we'll be reaching out to the people's Also, if you guys can't see.
We have merged. It's so cute. It says good Mom's bad girl and it.
Has been wearing our merch right now. I'm very proud of this merche. I think it's very cute.
Your boobs look are really good. Wow, you don't wearing rop know you? Like, never not wear bro I don't know why not. If I had big boobs, I would never wear a row, just like because.
Because I still get under boobs sweat. I don't like the way it feels. Okay, anyway, make sure you go check out our merch on our website and uh leave that five star rating on Apple Podcasts and follow us on Instagram at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices and share us with your friends.
Tell a friend to tell a friend, tell.
A friend and tell a friend you ain't got to be a mom and to kick it, or well you could be a daddy. We love daddy.
We do love a saddy. Send dudes please always thank you. Thanks, I love, I know, I know everyone.
Anyway, We'll see you guys next Wednesday.
Please bye Ella solo recorder. Then let's us stay us mellers come on and don't do so. Then the swim, the storm, the mens come home and go
Mm hm