Joy Is A Choice Feat. Jared Brady

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Yeah, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Meila. Happy Wednesday by Happy hump Day. How are you, my love? I'm good? How are you?

I'm good?

My hair is pink, guys, dyed my hair paint because I'm going through a thirty life crisis. To me thirty four years to do this finally, did it. I've always wanted to do it, even back when I loved Chalise, I wanted to do this. Yeah, it's giving me. My mom wouldn't let me do it. But here I am with pink hair. So make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel. If you have not yet, you're missing out. We could be watching all of these beautiful, wonderful episodes

So and I have long hair, so you should come see We've had We've done the hair switch ups.

We're doing the hair switch up? Or is this a thirty life crisis. I'm just kidding. Okay, you know it's.

Just BlackGirl magic.

I could change that. How are you? I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

A lot is happening this week, and I'm just trying to stay grounded and grateful and all of the things.

But I'm good. So you guys, you know it's June, and all June, we have been highlighting the Zaddy.

We've blessed you this month with all the Zaddies, all the fun zaddies we could find, hi love. We personally sourced every single Zaddy in our friends circle and beyond to bring you a blessed June.

Various ages, various people from all different walks of life. We wanted to really highlight dads because.

And just the male perspective, because you know, we gotta we have that little bit of balance over here, you.

Do, because we are just going in with the divine, and.

You know, the divine feminine really really requires the welcoming and the opening for the divine masculine. It's very necessary. We all have to hold space for each other.

Amen. So anyway, I'm happy to introduce Jared.

You guys doing.

He is the host of Enjoy the podcast. Yes I am, and he is also our girl, sham Boudrum's baby daddy, husband almost father of two.

Congratulations, your hair matches the light. That's the part of the pink, you know. And my office is pink and green. So oh it's like AKA colors. Yeah, we're all we're all in lineming here, Okay.

Okay, yeah. I think I was like, do I need to start wearing pink? I was like, this kind of goes with everything it does. It's neutral. I had purple last week and I hated it. So originally started with purple and then I said no.

The pink is definitely your legs. Purple was not it, but this is it.

It was looking kind of gray.

I don't know.

I was like, is this gray?

I don't I see like a little bit of the purple still, like underneath a little bit. So it's kind of giving ombree vibes.

Really, Oh my god. Okay, then I really am living out my Collie dreams because she had a specific photo like a.

Little orange and I see that like and she had a little orange in it too.

Shout out to Kalise. Can we get Kalise on the show? Someone who knows Kalise? Can you call her? Actually?

Last time, every time we asked for someone, someone's like, oh I do know that person.

So yeah, color my god, I.

Hate you so much right now. I remember being you consider that I love song.

I fucking loved that song. I considered a love song, like you know, it was like a scorpio love song. And also, uh, I just want to below with you. Try me because I'll be the one that makes you happy.

Okay.

Yeah, that video was yeah when she was that was the video. That's what I really remember.

It was all dirt. I don't want to know. Okay, please someone find Kalise so we can sing it. Do you go to her farm?

Oh my god, that'd be great. It's done already, did, It's done?

Sorry?

Ared here, I'm enjoying it.

It's a show. It's a free show. I think those songs might have been a little bit before your time outkay. I mean, here's the thing.

Kalise was a moment in time, So even if it happened before me, it's going to bleed over.

That's true. You got to go back to that every time because.

You're hell are you?

I'm thirty years old?

When's your birthday?

October seventh?

Oh my October baby?

Is that good?

Yeah? I'm an October baby?

Okay? Sweet? So what Libra? And I am a Libra the twenty fifth? I'm a scorpio, your scorpio. I'm a cancer cancer. I'm asking. I know what they mean.

I don't.

You've never dated a bitch that told you all about the sign.

Not even everybody.

It'll be online people, people will be you know, Oh, you're a Libra. That means that you're this, You're that.

Into the stars and the moons. No oh, I feel like I feel like she'd be.

Like, this is I'm not either.

It actually makes sense.

Yeah, I can see her.

She's a realist.

Matter of fact, I read a book about it and don't it doesn't matter. No, she she doesn't.

She doesn't rock with it. I don't rock with it, but I respect it because the way I look at it is like, if the moon can create tides, it probably does something to us. But does that mean that I'm an asshole or I'm like balanced, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't think an asshole is generally like a standard description of a sign. I think people will make other assholes.

Every time that someone guesses my son or ask me my sign is and I tell them libra, they always go, I.

Mean, honestly, my baby, my baby, that is his birthday right before yours. You see, that's that's PSD.

I know some really great male libras, like they're all you guys are you guys are kind of can navigate at least I'm not going to read you. But this is my experience with libras is that you guys navigate alone really well, Like you can go out to the movies by yourself, Like you can totally just like do your own thing. You're fucking cool to just do that. I feel like, uh, you guys are a little weird, not weird, this could be any time. Like they're just odd.

Don't know you like your other stuff like your moon and your.

Well, actually I was born on the eclipse and so a libra libra. Yeah, so we had I had someone read us our whole cast, and you know, they were they were going in and talking all their ship about me, and they say, uh, I couldn't understand it.

So I was telling them.

I was like, I don't know what you're saying right now, because you're telling me all these things and your house is here and this is that, and I was like, I can't understand it. So I can't do anything with the information that you're getting me.

They weren't explaining it. Well, you have to go to someone that really knows how to break it down. Well, because I agree because I've read the charts.

Yeah, what the fuck? What does this mean?

My seventh house is where? And why does this matter? But we got a reading in Costa Rica. Shout out to Sylvia and Cestra. She's actually going to be on our retreat in Costa Rica natal chart readings, and she was the first woman that really was able to break down things for me in clear fashion, like this means this is like this is your wound, this is like

Yeah, that's what I need right there. I need or just tell me, just say, hey, watch out for this.

Well, how do you think you are?

Like?

Who do you like? How would you define yourself?

I would say that I'm emotional but creative. Also, I think.

You're like emotional. On what we're like sensitive or I.

Don't think I'm sensitive, but I feel a lot I have. I can describe what I'm feeling. I have like a really good conflict resolution, you know when disagreements happened. I'm easy to work with. But I also feel that I also have like a like an X factor about me because it's like there will be something that somebody does that would just turn me off from them, but it

So I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know how to answer. That's a heavy question. How would you describe yourself?

Are you asking me? Yeah, I would say that I am hard working. I would say that I can be intense, but I can also be very like airy, like I'm down, I'm down for the adventure for me, Like I'm a realist, Like, yeah, does this make sense? Yeah, Like, sometimes it doesn't always have to make sense, but generally I like things to make sense. Yeah. I think that I am very intuitive and because of that, like my energy can shift a lot constantly, So sometimes people find it hard to read me.

Like, is that in line with a scorpio? Yeah, I've dated too scorpios before, shan one of them destroyed me, one of them destroyed me.

Forget please forgive me? Do you know what? Though, Like, I don't know this woman, and I don't know where she was at the time. An unhealed scorpio, and granted we're not all healed, but like the ones that are really toxic, we have fucking nuts. Yeah, we are not good people at all.

You hear that it's your fault.

Yeah, girl, I'm telling you it's it's true. Like we can really be dark. Yeah.

So the second one was was great. She was like the total opposite and I destroyed her. I wouldn't say it was. It wasn't calculated, but she was the person that did it after, so it could have been.

It was passive aggressive, it was sub conscious.

Yeah, maybe it wasn't. It wasn't premeditative, but yeah, it was bad.

You know, my other Libra male friend, he's really good at the cutoff game actually that I'm thinking about it, Like when he's really he's emotional too, actually, but then when he's done, he's like, yeah, I'm good.

It's like it's true.

Yeah, it's true. My mom's a Libra, but I think men and women are different.

Yeah. Maybe what Shan is a aries.

It makes sense very fire and air my m Yeah, okay, will astrology's choices astrology we always ask all of our guests to come with an affirmation. So, Jered, did you bring an affirmation for us today?

Yeah, I mean I don't know if it's an affirmation. Actually I never actually given myself an affirmation. But what I will say is that I do live by the saying that I want to be synonymous with enjoy and and know it sounds weird, but that what I mean by that is that when you think of joy, when you think of enjoying anything, I hope that I'm creeping up in the back of your head when you think of that word, you're like, Jared enjoys life. Jared is

I want to benonymous with enjoy. I really like that.

Yeah, thank you, Yeah, like yeah, she's enjoy Yeah.

You know. I want you have the picture in your mind when you think of me, of me smiling.

It's like being synonymous with pleasure, you know, like, oh yeah, like it's a pleasurable experience to be around that person. They're always like pleasurable, theresure synonymous with pleasure. I want to be synonymous with pleasure like that. I want to be just always finding the pleasure and all the things. And however, I'm moving through the world because there's just so there's so much pleasure. Handle smells good, this sage hanging with friends, drinking wine, taste good, laughing.

We had a good laugh earlier. Got good. Do you feel like Because I now that you say that, I'm taking note to all your brands and they always kind of have that peace in it. The joy part is, is that something that you've always found easy to access?

No, So I.

Came up with that, I guess affirmation when I did a bag of mushrooms and I ate a bunch of mushrooms and I was just chilling in my apartment and I was just thinking about the word enjoy and my life was shit like it was like terrible, poor broke, you know, no, nothing going good in my life. And something in my head kept telling me, you got to enjoy this shitty time, like you have to enjoy this. You have to enjoy this so that you can enjoy

High Wow, that it all makes perfect sense.

Yeah, it does.

It sounds like it sounds like a.

Good system to eradicate the bullshit all the things that don't bring your joy.

You know what, you have to be ready to face that some of those things are like things you want to change and you.

Can't keep, or the ones that you can't control, so you have to like acknowledge like, Okay, there's certain things like I don't like that I can't buy this car. You're like, you can't control that completely, but you can and you can make steps to like get to that space. Or I don't like the way that my relationship is with my mom, and it's like sometimes that's just the relationship and you're either gonna have to find the good

You know, that relationship with your mom that you don't like, you don't enjoy some of the what are the things that you actually do enjoy and how do you cultivate that and only allow those parts.

Into your the way your interaction with her is now, It's like I love when we when we talk about food.

Let's just let's stay there, let's.

Just say let's do it.

I mean, if you know someone's trying to beer the conversation and argue or some shit, I'm not talking to you about that.

That's true exactly.

Yeah, you for sure. I recently I took a kind of a break from them because I was kind of avoiding mushrooms for a while. I don't know why. I was like I felt like I was I was going to face something I didn't want to face, or something that's part of it, right, And it was like I didn't know what it was, but I just kept avoiding it,

Oh, I had those like chocolate bar thing and they have like little squares.

Yeah, and like.

I've had chocolate before and generally I actually like chocolate because I feel like it really helps mask the taste. But this ship tasted so fucking nasty, like I ate it and I was like, oh no, it tasted like barf that it was really bad. But it was bad. It tasted bad. Then I should have known that it

I'm going home.

Yeah, And I went home.

And then I like got in the car and I was like, I started crying, and I was like, why am I crying? I was like, this is I've been avoiding. And I was like I need to just face the mushrooms and face the music, and you face the mushrooms. And so I recently decided that I'm going to start microdosing because I was for a while, especially during COVID and it helped me so much. Yeah, just to kind of ease my anxiety, a help me be more present because I struggle with being present always kind of.

Like, well, you got a business, you got the podcast, you probably got you know, you got a full kid. You know, you got a lot on your plate. So it's hard to be in the moment with yourself when you're your entire world is thinking about how do I

They don't even know each other anymore. We're like, who are we right? What are we even here for?

Now that now the kid's going, I don't know why we're even still together. It's because they gave all their love to the kid.

Well that's what we're supposed to do, like give it all.

And if you don't, like you're selfish and you're weird, like God forbid, you go like take time for yourself, like I'm doing some shit, you know, like I need this.

I mean, you actually love your kid more when you do that too. So right, people always always like I've had people judge me and say it is your kid, your kid is number one, Like you know, you preach, can you preach all this ship and da dah dah da da. But like I'm like, yeah, yeah, she's not number one. No, I love her and she is. She has changed my trajectory. I've I've you know, she's my best friend. However, I'm no good to her if I'm not number one mutually and if my relationship or you know,

Ain't different. It ain't different. That's the thing too. People got all confused. I don't know.

Anything about I guess coupled partnership and raising a human because that's not my experience.

You don't get a break. Yeah, you're with you are all together as a unit majority at the time when we're in a place like we've done that, but it's so far gone now, like we do get to drop them off where you don't really get to have a weekend and it's normal, like where the fuck.

Are you.

Exactly, whereas we have the opportunity to have the tapic like oh, okay, oh this is me, this is what Oh, this is what I do on my days off.

Yeah, what actually are some ways in which I think I'm interested in the male perspective on this, Like what are some ways that you are you kind of make space in your relationship in that way?

Yeah, it's all about intention Like we have to be super aggressive and intentional about scheduling time for us, and it's it gets to a place where you you got you get so caught up in life that you don't plan for yourselves and our situation. That's like getting a babysitter on Thursday so that we can go out and actually be together and not think about the child that

I'm tired. I'm gonna I don't forget this ship and the reason this.

Yeah, No, I love that.

I feel that's really cool that that that you do that. I think that it's hard to sometimes it feels you really do have to fight because life will fucking make you so exhausted. Yeah, I mean maybe, I mean my relationship was gonna end regardless, but like there were moments thinking about that, like I really didn't fight that much. I was tired, and I was just like, and if you don't have another partner that's also fighting, yeah, it kind of makes it impossible or someone that's at least

Yeah, well it's marriage is like I mean relationship, relationship. Yeah, Like I feel like relationships, especially when you have another life in the world, is all about if we're both thinking how do I make your life easier? If we're both thinking that our life is gonna be easy because we're both doing things for each other, that is gonna make the life easier for each other.

So simple for that guys, And I think people sometimes think if you're making life easier for someone else, and either like there's self sacrificial in ways, like maybe you're not doing something for yourself, but if it's mutual, then everyone's making sure we get taking care of as a unit.

Yeah, well you'll get that day. So like, well we'll have talks to be like what's your what's your ideal schedule? Looking like how much me time do you want? How much us time do you want? And how much do you want for like us as a family, And then like Jo ask me the same question and I'll tell her like this is my ideal schedule and this is your ideal schedule. How do we make these work so

You know what I mean? Like I don't want to You're not my woman.

You're a woman who loves me right, and I love you, and so like you always hear that term like oh my man, you're like I am because I choose, but like, I'm not your man, you know what I mean, We're both individual humans who are going through life together and we just love each other, right, you know.

I think like you and Channe also, like you guys have began your relationship with that idea too. Write I remember watching a clip of you guys when you guys were talking, or maybe Shan was talking about I think it was right before you got married, and it was like one plus one does an equal to it equals three? Yeah, And I loved that concept of that idea, and I never really like, I guess like imagine that in my head and I was like, oh my god, this makes

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like you and I the person that the version of myself that I am from being in a relationship with you would have never existed if we never got together. So like, you're not we're not making like we're not making one. It's just like a whole other entity. And I did like that concept and it felt natural. I mean, given the way that we started. We started

Bad Starvest fuck buddies.

It will be a success, You'll be like, but if it is hard, because I also know that there's there's an evil side to that, to that story.

I don't know. I agree. I think like we talk about this, like not starting with the expectation of forever, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, I think the most successful relationships are ones where you're like brutally honest, like that's what I did last night, you know, because you're right, they're inevitably like no matter how authentic you are, when you go on a date and thinking someone's super hot or they're impressive, you are ways are being performative.

Like, hey, where are you going? Which, oh, I'm not invited yeh.

But like last week I went to the game like with the way like some ship like and then all these like human you know, emotions come up that are not really healthy because you've gotten so caught up in this ritual of always being together and yeah, like and it's ways performing and it is it's harder to like start to like someone and being like kind of attracted in love and have good sex and then be like okay, let me let me just tell you, you know what

I'm not playing for you to keep me.

Yeah, And I think a lot of women especially have to do that, like.

Well men do it too, But you know what, I can't you know what this is.

This is a bad message, Jared. I know I don't agree with this. That's first I want to say that I think that dick good dick and good pussy, mostly good dick. I think as women were just we're just controlled by this our vaginas in ways.

I know you are, for.

Sure, but I know I feel like we get lost in the sauce a little faster though, And so like if you if you're, if you're fuck buddies and it's purely based on sex. I think women have a way of compartmentalizing. But over time, we're gonna start do I love you?

Well? Why do you think that is so? So like if we unpack it a little bit and we dive a little bit deeper, like I agreed.

And accept certain toxicities, and reality is about that person that they don't really shouldn't they shouldn't accept.

True, But like if you dive, if you keep going underneath that, it's like, yes, there is stories of people, you know, getting into fuck buddy relationships and then it ending terribly right, But did they come into that in the start thinking I actually am very interested in this guy, and I'm going to accept being a fuck buddy because that's what he says he wants so that I can give him this good pussy so that he eventually and then on top of that, get hurt. Yeah, and then

Well, yeah, you have to be mature and have to say I want this and you don't want that. Yeah, because a lot of times we find secretly they're like okay, and then they're getting hurt and like low key abused because they're saying they can handle something. However, on the on the opposite end, what I will say is, for sure, bitches do that, like I'm aa cook, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna wash his clothes and then he's gonna fall in love with me, and then Nick's Joe and they're mad.

You know, I'm just doing a boyfriend activity hunt all day every day, doing all the things, showing pulling up at the house every day, eating dinner with the family, you know, like gifts for the kids, buying kids for the kids.

Like yeah, like there is well he's doing boyfriend activity.

He's not.

He's not open holding his agreement from the jump.

So I think that's where, you know, and then when the bitch starts catching feelings and you're like he's like whoa who look at like wondering where you're leaving on Saturday, not coming home like or whatever, the next day and you're like, what you mean, I told you you know what I'm saying. Like, I think it plays on both ends, you know, it's I think, I don't know. We're all parents agree that like humans are just like innately a little manipulative.

One thousand percent one thousand percent, especially babies and children.

Oh that's their survival tactic. But like, no, I agree, like there is there is that. But I think that, I mean, maybe I could be completely naive to this, and I just feel that I can't see myself getting into a relationship today with somebody that I know is pulling a super manipulative tactic. Right, that's like saying this thing, but their actions are saying another thing. And I would see that and be like, you know what, this may

Shan totally seems like the type of moment listener fu buddies, you leave, you leave after it, don't cuddle me.

Let's not talk about.

It all the way to the point where she would never text me.

First she told you she was not gonna text you.

She tell me this, but but yeah, she never.

Rules of buddys.

She she knew what it was.

And so I and I've definitely been in fuck buddy relationships prior Shan. That never worked out because neither one of us are holding up thing to you to become more.

She become more appealing because thousand I told she got to play the game I told.

I told Shan, I said, I said, this is terrible, but like you know, she she know what it is. I was like, you know, when we started having sex, I didn't know that you would be like future. I never looked at you that way. I looked at the situation like dang, like there's a sex ologist. I'm about to go and learn some few things. And then after a few months, when this dwindles out, then I'm gonna know a little bit.

More about sex. And then now my sex life is good.

I was trying well with two kids married, But.

It's a mutual exchange. I'm going to get some moves, We're going to entertain each other. Then it's a mutual exchange, just like we're using each other.

So and she used me to she was reading books and doing things and she didn't get to do before, and so she was trying out things, you know, she was learning on the same time.

Her little like like, you know, it's so true because I think I told this, like I have a fun buddy and very same like very like minimal other stuff other than sex, like we'll shoot the ship, I have a drink. And I was like, all right, But one time he did like sleepover and it was like iddled me a little bit, and at first I was annoyed and then like kissed me when he left, and I was like, is he cool?

Yea, My mind started to tricks on me, which is understandable. Though it's understandable, like it makes sense. And that's the thing is, like I don't think that I'm ever trying to demonize the person that falls for someone that's pulling these manipultive tactics because they work, and they've been working for centuries, you.

Know what I mean.

It doesn't it doesn't mean that you're a terrible person or you're a person that just can't see red flags. But at the end of the day, they're like dark psychology for a reason. There's a reason why you know, these tactics work. You know, do you.

Think that they're asking for myself? Do you think that when we because okay, you said like dating someone and then seeing red flags and be like, oh, I'm cool. Do you think that when we see red flags and we lean into it, it's like the unhealed parts of ourselves Because I've seen such toxic red flags and I'm like, run, run towards it, you know what I mean. Yeah, Like but then you come in, but sure finally walk the fuck away because and then that's where like that high high, high,

Sometimes, you know, toxic sex is fun, Like we can't deny it. You know, facts is from scientific there's a you know, I have this story where like you know, me and my ex were getting to a crazy argument and she hit me with a car. What after she After she hit me with the car, we went up and had sex. Whoa, and it was awesome sex. No, it wasn't that I didn't get like ran over like words,

You know what I'm saying.

So, no, I don't know that's crazy.

You're never like you trying to speed off in an argument.

Yeah, oh yeah, I know.

I'm not the only toxicigure in the room right now.

Careful, I'm like, I don't.

In the heat of the moment you met.

Pa Jared, I'm shocked you seem so calm.

You know we're talking about like exposing his toxicity. I know everybody thinks like Jared is just you know, but he confessed he's a little toxic.

Yeah, what's your most toxic trait? I know a lot of people are weary about therapy.

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You, super healed or no, No.

I have talked to you know what it is?

You know? I got it. I got it.

I figured it out.

When we're in a disagreement, we have to end the argument.

Like I can't just let it go, Like we can't like if we're like in a disagreement of like whatever it may be, Like, it's really hard for me to go to sleep mad, and it's really hard for me to leave the argument, like without coming to some kind of resolution.

Do you do you have to be right or do you just want to come to a resolution resolution. I don't have to be right every time.

It is because space is good.

It is toxic. The other person doesn't want that, like they're not ready for that. And then it's being forced upon you because I've experienced that because he was toxic and he was crazy. But did you go to sleep man?

Go to sleep man?

Sometimes there's no resolution and you guys need to just shut the fuck up.

Yeah, because now we start arguing about Now we're arguing about shit that don't even matter. We started working about semantics. You know, it starts getting into like you said this, now, I said that. No, yesterday, two forty five, you said this, and so it gets into the we're like what do we We're not even arguing about that real issue anymore.

Well, so I'm curious because you went from like getting hit by a car, like by a car to like savage like toxic sects. And now you're like this evolved version of yourself with Shan, and you like, you know, like texology terms, you know, Like I'm curious, was it, like, you know, maybe getting hit by the car or what made you break away from your toxic Were you just tired?

No, it's funny because I don't think that, you know, I have this struggle all the time of like you get become alone and you heal and then you find your person. But like I really found myself through that relationship, through that, through that that type of interaction with Shan, you know, I was already on track, you know what I mean. I was I was at I was at the place where I was honest. I was at the place where I was like, I don't want a relationship. I don't want to do this. But that's not all

Yeah, you know, And I just had an epiphany.

I think, ladies, if you're listening, I think when you get a get a man like that his later twenties, right before the thirties, I'm feeling like, if they're smart, if you get a young smart one, you can like teach them and guide them, like Shandon.

Just fat out fact honestly.

Like Orlando's like when I met him was like twenty nine. You know. Now i'e thirty one, strong, thirty one. He's talking on podcasts. Podcasters are smart. They're doing a lot of talking. I'm literallying daily, literally, I mean I told you me andn't I don't have a conversation. And I was like, why do you think this is so easy? We're communicating all the time and talking about our feelings exad because we're both podcasters. Baby, we're mature and we're

What do you think about this relationship? Do you think abot this?

What do you think about that? And it's like the most like fucking annoying, talkative, fucking relationship. But here we are. This is what you need to do. You need to find an early thirties, late twenties podcast here and mold them and tell them the game and they have to be ready to absorb and then they get a husband.

There's some fuck boys that at forty years old though, So.

That's what I'm saying, that's why you get them when they've been around, like they have a lot of young peatures that are crazy and then now you're like, let me show you the way. You know, you're like, let me show you. When it's like I'm saying, I'm gonna be honest, and then they'll be like, huh, this is kind of cool.

Yeah yeah, mesmerized, you know.

I just I broke the code.

Yeah wow later only two hundred plus episodes, thank you.

Oh my god.

I never I never thought that I wanted to date like someone who talked as much as me.

But you know, like get the content.

Do you talk a lot of off air? Uh?

No?

Sometimes we could be quiet, but if you talk a lot, like in general, I do, especially when I get excited, really excited about a topic. Yeah, sometimes I shut the fuck up. Oh yeah, but sometimes after talking for so long, I'm like.

Okay, yeah, see, I'm like, I like being quiet a lot, like if I'm in social environments around people or you know, but if I'm around like friends or or even chant, sometimes she's like, fucking speak, yeah, talk, and I'm like, you don't understand. Like, I just like watching you. I like being in your presence because the way you just atee that spaghetti, Like I learned so much about you.

I think I'm similar in that way too. It's like, I mean obvious, I'm a podcaster, so I fucking talk for a living. But I like silence. I'm definitely an observer. If we can't sit in silence, then it makes me nervous. I feel like I have to like, oh, yeah, you have to be able to sit in silence, like I have to keep talking now, like what I don't want to talk? Yeah, And then I'm like, what the what do you have to talk about? Shut the fuck up?

It means more to me. I mean it's not for everyone, Yeah, it means a lot. It's just dope. It just shows me all the like small bits and pieces of you that you probably don't even realize in yourself, you know.

So I know in your like you're married, our father of you know too, Okay, do you know if you're having another girl.

We're having a girl.

You're in the house the whole lady.

Yeah. Yeah, they out number me, know, yeah.

Woke little babies, a little woke baby, little feminists.

Yeah, they're they're they're they're deep right now.

But when you and Shan start as fuck budd you guys are so entered into like an open relationship too, right, yep? And then is your marriage open? Is that something that you Yeah, it's weird.

It's like we're not like I'm not like we're not doing anything right now because we're just so busy. You got the baby and everything. But our relationship has not changed since the start, just the titles, I guess and the more that we share. You know, it's a long life.

Do you feel like it's shifts, Like obviously relationships go through shifts, and like you might be more heavily you know, active in your openness, you know, early on, and then you know, you get do you find closeness and then maybe kids get involved in things. Do you think that I mean, this might be a silly question, but like not practicing your openness makes you get farther and farther away from it.

That's a good question.

Maybe I probably you know, it's like it's almost like fighting for your relationship or like like we were talking about earlier, like fighting to stay in this in this.

But what is fighting to stay open?

Like somebody? But I no, you know what it is.

I think when you're when we were younger, there was a lot more opportunity to meet more people. There was a lot. It was just there was more opportunity there. I think right now with you know, even with going through the pandemic and then now we have a child and another one on the way, there's like a lot more demanding at the home and what we are creating together that I just don't think there's that as much opportunity. But the idea and the fundamentals of our relationship is

Do you guys play together? Have you guys? We haven't done anything together. We've talked about it.

There's been potentials, there's been you know, situations, but we haven't actually both done something together with somebody.

Have you ever been to a sex party? No?

But we actually we almost went to one, but I think what happened was like, because what happened we got invited to one or maybe we looked one of the all internet or something. I don't know have it, but we found something we were going to go to one early on when we were first started dating. But I don't remember what happened. We ended up not going. We always wanted to, we never just ended up going, though.

Yeah, I mean I think I think that relationships obviously like they're lad. I don't want to make it sound like you have to fight just keep your marriage open. I was just curious. I was just curious how that works, especially I mean now that you do have kids, and it's not something that they maybe would be accustomed to experience of you as parents, And I don't even know

Weird? I hear that, And it's something that people have asked me before, you know, even before we even had kids. They're like, but what are you children? And it's like yeah, oh god, yeah, but it's like forbid, do do do people who are not open? Oh? Thank you? Do people who are not open do they like at a certain age be like, so mommy and daddy are having sex, you know what I mean, Like we're not.

I'm not.

We're not sharing our sex life with our kids like that, you know what I mean. We're educating our kids on sex, but we're not being Like so Mommy was.

Well, wouldn't be like necessarily sex, I mean just even showing affection to you know, like other people, other people, like you know, Like, I don't know, I don't know how you guys navigate with just your regular friendships. So like, do you like like hugging a woman, Like would it be uncomfortable to see daddy hug a woman and give her kiss on the mouth or even a kiss on the cheek, Like is that awkward?

Yeah?

I don't know.

I don't.

I don't.

I haven't really thought about it. I mean I know that that's just like I'm not like that right now, you know what I mean.

Usually, if there was.

Something that was crossing a line, I usually would have wouldn't even do that in front of you know, my kids. But yeah, I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about that. It's a great question.

What's your type?

I don't know.

I had a type, Like I'm going to be open right now today, if you're gonna fight to keep it open.

You know what it is? I like, you know, I like confident. You know, women who are sure what they want and what they what they want to have in the experience. It's I like older women. You know, not nothing against younger women, but I just older. I mean everybody out did has always been older.

Than me by how many years?

Like? What's the look five?

I mean, shen is I don't want to put it. I don't even do that.

I go do that right now.

Oldest woman you've dated dated.

Okay whatever dated dated, dated dated.

I think the oldest was like six or seven years older. When I was younger in high school, like I was, there was like a thirty six year old that I was messing with.

In high school. Yeah, you look like a baby now right now, little baby.

No, I just graduated.

I was like eighteen.

I can still imagine you looking like a little baby.

I did, I did?

Was it?

Was it?

Your teacher?

Uh no, I don't no, no, no, not a teacher, but it was a it was just a woman.

Where the did you mean?

Is this your porn category?

Are you like in MILFs and like teachers?

No? No, I When I was younger, I was definitely was going into the older category. But I think that now it's just it's more about like the maturity and experience rather than the age, you know what I mean. So I think that's what I was searching for when I was younger, was just somebody guidance, guidance, you know, but not even how don't even call it guidance, Just

Which were bitches that were maybe running over with you off with cars. Yeah, well I can see different. I don't care about none of these. I got no time, you know. I feel like I'm learning so much about you so quickly. I think we have a game that we play with our guest called Trigger, so we get to know you even quicker. I'm going to say one word and then you respond the first thing that comes to mind. You don't have to think about it. Too

I've been, I've been. I've been honest.

Think it okay?

Fatherhood, Uh, great monogamy, it's cool. Boxers or briefs, boxers, idole.

American.

Most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

Skinned up in ocean.

Kevin Samuel's. Yeah, bad habits.

Uh love McDonald's.

Fish filet. No, the only thing that on the menu.

Marriage It's great, Molly, I've done it.

Favorite Strand.

Indica Strand? Is that.

Strand strange? I'm like, is that a merger? Shannon?

You have to be like, does it have to be like the name?

Hm?

Oh no, no, no, no, I I don't know. You know it's it's a strange and yeah, it could be. I guess could be either it's again.

You know you got.

I'm high from earlier and I'm about to keep getting high, so I don't really need you.

Wait.

Can I tell the story about when I was high and I ordered the coffee and I tell everybody that you tell me, I'll tell you later.

It's so stupid.

Stay at home, dad, I'll do it. Black women love it. Happily ever after. It's true white women, one time, one.

Time, one time, one time, I will even one in my life. Really, you're from the valley?

No, well, my dad lived in the valley, but I lived in the I e.

Not me being shocked really in the valley, Like I'm not a black woman from the valley.

My brothers from the valley. He said he'd only been with two. Where's your brother at brother? Really he's twenty three?

Turn on.

Aggressive mm hmm, turn off messy.

Favorite porn category.

The four women page? Part? Yeah, what do you mean?

The four women page?

There's a there's a section, there's a topic where it's four women. It's just a little bit.

More uh less wrong?

No lighting, I like, I like it's important. It's important. It's important. The lighting is good, you know what I'm saying. They just they get cinematography. It gets like, you know, like, have you ever watched like an Erica Left film?

No?

Okay, so she's a woman porn director.

I feel like I've heard of her.

She just makes better porn.

Okay, So now I can't wait to go home and go to the women. Oh my god, that rose Okay, favorite position I like.

I don't know what it's called. But when you're on top, like I say, I'm on the edge of the couch and you're on top, and I'm like holding your ass here and I'm moving like this like a ride.

I don't know if hold on.

Sorry, guys, moved the mic real quick.

I don't know if it's a your like.

I'm on the edge your model.

Like this, like you have more leverage with your hands. Yeah, well, like you could stand up like baby boy or you could do that.

But yeah, I like to I like it like that.

Celebrity crush. You know.

I was just talking about this and we're empty right now. What there's not one, there's not I haven't I was just talking about this with a friend. I was like, who if someone slitting your d MS, who would you risk it all for?

And I don't.

I don't know. You think that was the first person that came to mind, But it's like would I I don't think I would would.

Everybody in this room would do it. Pregnant nine months.

I'm just the father that stepped up.

Single mom terrible.

That's not good. And on the guys side, what is it good? Is it good to be a mom?

You do realize you're sitting but in our studio, like we could jump you right?

No, no, but but but but no, why said it? Though?

Oh my god, that's what you think. It's going great trade. We gotta put Jared in the trunk.

I wouldn't want that for anybody.

We don't know he ever got here.

We have.

Do we'll take care of him.

No, I don't mean that in like a disrespectful way, if that makes me sense.

It's more like, what you're not making it better?

He said, what do you.

What do you think? What do you think I mean by it? Though?

Wait, what's.

What do you think I mean by it?

He said?

Not even like that.

I mean I just mean like, what.

Do you think I mean by I don't know?

You tired fast? You feel bad?

Yeah?

Yeah, I feel bad if we if you have did this single?

No help? This is our media needs to be better.

Oh my god, oh god.

Here's here's here's my thinking. Here's my thinking. Here's my thinking.

Not for the week of high but I don't know if it's.

Here's my thinking. Here's my thinking. Shan Shan had COVID for two weeks, so I'm having.

A single mom for ten days.

It was hard.

It was hard. Oh my god, this is fresh off of a baby twenty four hours for.

Vibes, and that's where it's like, Oh, that's where that that's where the side comes from. Oh my god. Well, not not to say that it was not like a dish, if that means I could see how it could be interpret.

That way, though, Mom is gonna come for you. Oh my god, get you ready for your d m.

Well, my heart is good. It was coming from a place because like that felt like it's hard.

You can't believe it.

It's hard.

I was actually just talking about I was trying to be enjoy it.

I was just talking to Shan. I was like, I don't know how single people do it. This is hard.

Oh my goodness, it's hard. You don't have a few more sex magic. I never thought of that.

Infestation masturbation.

Masturbation is good. What is that? Like? You manifesting how you masturbate?

Now you manifest what you want when you when you claim.

Oh I've never done that, Maybe I should try that than therapy, it's good, you should do it.

Best advice you've ever gotten.

Uh, you're worried about the critics that ain't protocol and insecurity. Everybody got it? M hm, you have an insecurity.

Yeah.

I think my insecurity is that you won't I won't be accepted by the people I look up to.

Is it like your family or those like?

No, Like let's say, I don't know, like because I do music, so like there's there's artists that I look up to, where there's artists that I that I like study off of or learn from. And if they were to hear any of my music and say, oh this guys trash like that hurt your feeling that.

You're an artist and you're sensitive about your ship.

Yeah, yeah, words of I say.

I mean I used to feel that way a lot about like wanting to have like the respect of my I guess idols and ways and of course you want them to it. It feels nice, but.

Yeah, but yes, it's the ultimate place that you want to be in, you know, but it's still in security sometimes.

No, that was it?

You're still upset about that single life?

How about this? What if this is a learning moment? What do you think?

What if this is a learning moment? What do you think that What did you feel when I said that it's were you raised my single mother or yeah, I don't know.

It was like you say terrible. What did you think when I think when I say single mom? Like, what do you think of single moms? Like you could have said strength?

Well, I was thinking about and so what that is all true, But the thing that I thought of I was like, man, when I was taking care of ru for two weeks.

That's hard.

No, that was that was that was a real response. It's true. It is hard, very difficult.

And more and it's powerful too. It's strength that those also.

I think also, I think we always talk about this just in general. You know, single moms, particularly single black moms, get labeled as struggle, as a heartache, you know, but like we're well you know what I mean, like or that there's.

So everything is reference point, right, So I think what's cool and interesting is that when I say terrible and that it's bad, that you were thinking of yourself in that we're not yourself in the sense, but like the single mom is who I'm talking about I was talking about when I was saying it, I was thinking of the dad who didn't want to hate, help take care.

Of it, and she has to go through both experiences either one, whether it's getting an abortion or having the baby.

Right, and so so at the end of the day, let me just make a choice. Well, at the end of the day, it's like that at the end of the day, you can't think of the baby from a selfish place. Even if I didn't want to have the baby to begin with. Now it's not about me in this moment. It's about what's the healthiest for the baby.

I mean not that was dark because I'm dark, but I was thinking, or.

That happened to that, that's unfortunate.

Or you've chosen to not or you know, women also choose to just not have like have that person in their life, like have that person have access to their kid. There's so many scenarios as to why someone would be a single parent, the father leaving.

Yeah. Well, and that's the thing is like, if you're if you're thinking of one word answers, you're not going through scenario.

We're judging him.

You're going off the would say you're going off the one scenario.

What I want you to say that that's that's that's kind of.

I want you to react. No, we're kidding. We know you're a nice guy. Some of it is that kind of a nice guy.

No, I said, yes, some of some of it everybody wants to be We all got a little scar in us.

Wow, that was deep. My daughter's gonna love that. Evil people of the world. No, yeah, scarred, mufasa. You know your friend, she was just very scarred today.

Just today you you pulled a tarot card.

I did, and you pulled strength.

The strength card represents strength, determination, and power like the chariot. However, while the chariot signifies outer strength and will, the strength card speaks to the inner strength and the human spirit's ability to overcome any obstacle. Strength is about knowing you can endure life's obstacles. You have great stamina and persistence

It kind of sounds like what you kind of I don't know about Libra, but it sounds like kind of this episode you're saying that, like I don't know, like you have to. You're a watcher quiet you know what I mean, And but that you still and that you nap, but you still navigate and like you're a powerful force.

Wait, listen to this. Your strength gives you confidence to overcome any growing fears, challenges, or doubts. Feel the fear and do it anyway. If you have been going through a rough time and are burnt out or stressed, the strength car encourage you to find the power within yourself to persevere. Hey, you have got what it takes to see the situation through, so it is to its eventual end. You're a loyal friend and a solid supporter, hey, and.

The loyal partner for and you're holding your wife down even though as hard as fun. You made it through.

You made it a.

Strength card, strength card.

I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry.

We are with you, but it's so good.

You might feel compelled to hold space for someone who needs your strength and support, and it seems like you do that very well. That's really like it.

Is balanced, that's beautiful.

You are cards.

Is that you against that too?

I don't know anything about it. Yeah, I got I had my cards pulled one time in uh turks and caicos. I don't remember what they said.

We asked you if you had a horri Oh yeah, So it's four story time and today's horries are brought to you by the vitamins.

The vitamins. You guys, check out the vitamins. They are our favorite imaginal vitamins. They literally listen neiversary period, you feel like you're a little off. Every woman goes through this. No one wants to talk about it, but let's just talk about it real quick. Jared, I'm sorry here. I mean, you know you're married with sexologists. You know, vagina's be

The It comes with a really cute applicator that for me, I really enjoy because you don't have to worry about just getting it to your finger length.

You could really get it in up there. You really love that.

I do.

Really.

At first, I was like, Oh, I really do like that applicator, So do you?

I do?

I do? Wait, so it's like it's an actual like.

It's like no, it's a vitamin. It looks like a like a capsule and it has bork acid in it, and bork acid is like a magical ingredient that helps neutralize the vagina and a healthy ease.

Is it? Do you eat it or do you know it's positive?

So you put this.

I don't know I've ever seen a suppository like it's like a tampon applicator.

Oh yeah, So you put.

The vitamin in there and then you put it in your vagina and then you insert it and then you can go to sleep. You go to sleep in the next morning, your pussy's taking Wow.

It's like.

This is a real fact.

No really, I mean yeah, honestly, if you're experiencing anything off sometimes like I had a friend always having one particular partner and it was just not mixing at all. And basically they said, there's no fix. Yeah they can't, they can't have sex anymore. The vitamins fixed it.

Wow.

So anyway, tell us your hoary stories.

There was a time I was I used to like bartend and used to also work for like different weddings, And there was one time I was working a wedding and this one woman that was part of the bridesmaid was there. You know, we're talking, we're chopping it up, and I was flirting with her, but I didn't really expect nothing out of it. It was just flirting, you know,

It was a porn show.

I wouldn't say it was just it wasn't like it wasn't like disrespectful. It was just like, you know, here and then after I got done, she was like, oh, my turn and then she started going and squirted all over me and I wasn't ready for it, and so I remember after that time, I was like, this is what it is. This is what it feels like.

Oh my god, your turn? Yeah?

How many?

Like, how long after the your turn did it come?

It was pretty quick. It was pretty quick. I thought it was like I didn't fully understand what she said. Yeah, until it happened. I was like, oh, she said your turn, it's cold and uh and then she left. I like her, I'm going to do that. I was like in my head, I was like, dang, maybe I should ask next time.

Damn so violated.

Oh my god, that was great. Yeah yeah, Well can you tell our people where they can find you?

Oh?

Enjoy Jared Brady all social platforms. Also, we have a podcast, Enjoy the Podcast where we talk about everything he hasn't told you yet. So anything he's hiding from you, we probably said it on that podcast. Oh wow, spilling the tea, like we've break the code a couple of times.

The secrets.

I wouldn't say secrets, but.

You hear that, lady. This show is for you. This is for This is a show for women to find out if their niggas age ship.

But you know there's times in that when we're telling the truth that sometimes can ruffle some feathers or we're learning. We're very open to learn.

The truth is the truth.

If that's how you feel, you got to tell us how it is. That's the problem. We want to be lied to, but you need we need to listen.

We are always evolving and growing and we have a really big women audience, so they're quick to educate us very quickly.

We'll definitely check that out, and you guys know where to find us. Make sure you check out VI Vitamins. You guys, it's at Vaginal Vitamins dot com. Make sure you use our code GMBC for a discount. If you haven't checked out our retreat, it's coming up. It's almost time. We're about to get the fuck out of here. If you haven't booked your summer trip, this is the one. We're going to Costa Rica. It's our third and fourth retreat.

It's July thirty first and August tenth and trap Yoga Bay will be in week one hosting a workshop. Also, Samaia Sexual Essentials will be in week two hosting a workshop. It's going to be magical in the jungle and yeah, you don't want to miss it.

Make sure you rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you love us. If you haven't done it, I know we have some o g rs that are listening right now. You have never left us a rating or review. Bitch, no, right now's the time and anything else that's it.

Cat you later.

M h

M hmm.