Jesus is King?

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Bye, I will not buy you soon, man.

I'm broke arow gotta make a big hand, A time to quill. I'm gonna make a meal. I don't need a deal by my mama house and a brand new car, myself a crib pay all the bills. She never had to work to live. She never had to work to live all I ever wanted was a break, never wanted a hand out.

I keep my head up.

I sweat.

I hate asking for a favor, even though I need help. My God, it's me now, Mama race fol kids on her own, two baby.

Daddies both welcome back to good mom's bad choices.

I'm Erica and I'm Mila.

And it's Wednesday, bitches, Happy hump Day, Happy hump Day.

I hope somebody is getting humped tonight or this morning. Me too.

Speaking of humping, I was reading one of Beileed Jay's.

Posts and she was just saying that she sometimes she's feeling like she wants really deep connections sexually, sometimes she just wants like very.

Surface day physical connections.

And I was like, that's so interesting, because like we actually really do go through seasons, you know, like sometimes I want to have deep spiritual sex and sometimes it could just be like a casual encounter. And that's fine too, but sometimes I think you need different things.

I agree, because there was a time in a season where all I really wanted was to have really.

What maybe say something go lay down.

I'm going to, but I have to told you, I have to finish and then I'll be in there.

Okay, please go lay down. She's so tired.

I know she's she's literally staring, like hanging on for dear life as I'm talking about my sexual seasons.

Okay, yeah, go it there, Okay, good girl.

There was a point in like my entry into singleness where I really just wanted to have like aggressive, disrespectful sex, honestly and now, and that's really all I wanted. Like I noticed that with every person that I had sex with, that that's what I wanted, to the point where I almost felt bad about it, Like I was like, what does this say about me?

What's what's happening to me?

But and then like now I'm in a place where like I still want that, but I like also need variation. Then there's times where like all I want to do is be like cuddled and romantic, and there's times where I just don't even want to have sex, Like I don't even feel like being touched. And yeah, I think you have to like honor where you're at and try not to judge yourself, because I definitely did.

And now looking back, I'm like, why.

Just do it, Just be in it, just do what she fulfills you. In that moment, maybe explore why. But sometimes it's just what you want, some weird, freaky, kinky casual shit, some real deep, soul depth shit. I just thought that was a cool subject. I hadn't thought about it in that like, it's going to change your appetite for and your needs are going to change. And I think we've been taught to shame the part of us that's like lusting, lusty and wanting just kinky casual sex.

But that is just a.

Part of the human nature. Sometimes it's what you need. You do yourself a service, denying yourself. I feel like, anyway, that's all because we said happy hump Day, we can real deep already.

I can deep, bitch. I'm tired, Like I really, you aren't getting deep at nine thirty pm.

You know what early?

Nine thirty isn't I thirty?

It feels much later, I know, but like.

Oh god, my daughter's awake.

God damn it.

I know I didn't.

Really Yeah, God, honestly, the school shit's kicking my ass.

I'm tired, bitch. I'm tired as fuck.

Welcome to the club.

Yeah, I I've been like this morning. I woke up at like six am, to try to exert what I did well. I woke up at six, but I actually didn't get out of bed till six thirty to try to exercise. I'm like, my moms do this shit. They wake up earliest buck and they work out or like drink their coffee and like do things.

Early, you know.

And I'm like, I'm literally waking up to wake her up to get together, to get her together, to try to get me together, to get her there, to get me here, to barely get shit done. I'm like, Okay, maybe if I started waking up earlier, I just have to make it a habit. I know once I do it. Like I remember waking up around six am for a while and it was fine. It's just it's like working out and also not going to bed at two am.

You know, the way I look dropping off londing to school compared to the other moms. When I pick up, I feel I have to really step my game up because in the morning it's so I just literally roll out. Sometimes I'm just wearing a hood and like.

What are the other moms are like.

Stylish full dress?

Really, I mean.

Most of my moms at her school are in like workout gear. And I'm like, bitch, are you really going to work out or you just able to work out gear on? Because I know I'm wearing workout gear and a bitch is not work it out well.

Workout gear is also La fashions.

It's just comfortable. Yeah, but that's like people people were to work too.

No I think in La No, I know, we'll hang out and work out gear. No workout happening, No, I know.

Because when I'm when anyone comes from New York, they're like, you guys are so casual, wet, like we're like spandex.

I'm like at four pm, like, what's going on?

Almost if someone's like wearing a casual business business casually?

Like where the fuck do you work? Where are you going? Right?

Oh my god, come.

My life's super cash.

Yeah we ro that week.

Girl.

This is just gonna make us more tired. But I'm ready to go to bed after this so tired.

Oh my god.

Sorry, guys, this is probably not id for anyone's listening to this in the morning.

This is terrible.

Get up, we got, we got come on, Like these bitches are yawning on the podcast. Nobody wrote that in the review We're up and we're pumped and we're ready to go.

Oh okay, baby poop and his diaper, guys, baby Jack Jack.

Yeah, So how was your weekend?

I saw you went to Sunday service, Kanye West Sunday.

I did go to Kanye West Sunday Service, you flake, dummy.

No, no, no, I did want to go. It's just I had priority.

So I was inviting my friends and like, you want to have a Sunday service, and they're like church.

It was like, no, bitch, Kanye, no, I'm not going to church.

It is church.

I know, but I didn't realize it was church because Zaia actually shout out to Zaya.

Actually, Zia's if you listen to our song that opened this episode, that is Zya Belle. She's bomb and also she's a boy. Remember at Sunday Service. Sunday Service superbomb.

She gotta just go check that out, Ziabelle.

Everyone in that choir is fucking insanely talented. I heard like when you were posting and like Ashley was posting, it sounded amazing.

It does sound really good. The aesthetic was really beautiful.

It's all like fresh flowers and shrubbery and that orb that or the orb in the ceiling with this light ultra light beam ultimately, is that what that was? You know it's not an ultra light beame. It was really beautiful, and you know what, I actually, I'm going to keep it all the way one hundred. I felt really guilty about all my anti religious remark rhetoric rhetoric because I do get beside myself with the anti religion, and I

I did was back in nineteen ninety eight, I believe this.

Two thousand and three, Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry two thousand and four, maybe now. Two thousand and three, I was super into church and I was in the youth group. We were like leading youth, fucking youth services. I went to winter Camp Church winter camp and the music was the part that I could get lost in and unexpectedly I didn't really anything. I was signing up for this part. But there was a pastor at Sunday service. There was two and they had they were both men.

They were both men. I'm from Atlanta, one was from Compton. And they preached a little bit.

They did some word and it was it spoke to me, and I was kidding, what was what was like the theme of well, what service.

I've heard a lot of things, but specifically what I remember was don't be burnished on fire?

It was on fire? Yeah, I think it's fine. Right?

Wait?

Was oh, basically like, you'll fall and you'll get back up again, and you'll fall and you'll get back up again, and you'll fall again. But Jesus always forgives. He's constantly forgiving. He doesn't care about yesterday, I doesn't care about tomorrow. But right now, as long as you're getting back up again, getting back up again, then God is merciful, and then

To, you know.

I was just feeling like, when you know, sometimes.

You just be doing a lot of the same shit because that's what you're used to doing. And I'm like it just spoke to me like you'll fall and you'll get back up again, and every time he's forgiving and forgiving and forgiving. And that's how gentle you have to be with yourself, you know what I mean. And we forget that. We're so hard on ourselves, we're so harsh on our expectations of ourselfs, not realizing like we're human.

So that was a pretty powerful message. The music was powerful.

It was just the energy was really it was really dynamic, and you felt that shit, You felt the presence of God and you felt like everybody in the room is

I think really at the root of religion, like before it became a means to control and you know, influence sway, I think that's really what it was. Like that's why that's how they were able to package it in a way, because we do we feel that whether we feel that connection to one another to like, you know, a deeper existence than just us, but also this this.

Like primal feel like.

Connecting to source.

Right and the need to feel.

I don't know, open enough to charge up from it, to be filled up from the word, filled up from the you know, the gospel.

Like there's all these like words that we were taught.

Was it was did he did Kanye Like do you say anything? Or did he do music? Or did him or what was he do?

He was there?

Does he lead it still or is it like no, not lead it, but but he leads it at the person in the center like leading the choir is another man who talks throughout too.

And you and was like, you know, it doesn't matter what you did last night.

Maybe you smoked some stuff, I know, but maybe you drank some stuff you shouldn't. Maybe you late, you woke up with somebody didn't want to wake up with. No matter what you've done last night, whatever you did yesterday, God doesn't care.

It doesn't matter. Today is what matters.

You're loved, you know, like, and I think people we all need to hear that.

You know, he was kind of off to the side.

I think he does like those you know, the buttons the mixtape, like you know, and.

Then he got on he got on the mic.

He performed a lot of some of the songs from Jesus's King you know that chick fil a song which you would not stop singing after it.

I don't really.

Listened to his album.

I've listened to like maybe like the beginning of it, because I'd like to listen to albums in their sequence.

And I started playing it and the like I think, I like, I don't know what happened. I got distracted or.

Something, but when I heard him, he's he's an insanely he's amazing. Like what I heard, I was like, oh, I mean he's always he's just so incredibly talented and unfortunately, like we get bogged down by his views and all that other shit, but you know, being able to put that aside and like see, like what he There's one thing you can say about Kanye West is that he is able to rise and rise and rise and rise again and reinvent and inspire and build and his vision he is.

He is a genius in so many ways.

I think the annoyance for me is like the fact that he always feels the need to have to like get everyone's.

Approval on that.

I think maybe like it seems like he's I don't know, it doesn't matter. The point is it is like I think what.

He's doing is amazing.

A narcissist, there's that yes, Is that what you're gonna say?

No? No, no, no. I was just saying like, well, well, part of it was this.

That is like I thought, I feel like, you know, he's always needs to be validated as this genius.

He needs everyone to.

Saporate where it's like, dude, you we know right, you know, yes, baby, you know where they are.

We'll get him. I don't know what do you do? Just open them? Was that door?

But a part of feels like part of me feels like it's low key his persona at this point, Like even while I was there, he was performing church on Sunday or whatever, and he's like, this is the greatest song ever rap song ever made in history.

That's just how I feel. I'm like, Okay, Kanye, sure, whatever.

You say, you know, I mean, he's still Kanye.

He is still Kanye.

But that's what I'm saying, Like that's almost like branding a genius, like he's just turned you know, but that's actually who he is and you have to love it.

You know, you could disagree with a lot of shit.

He does a lot of extra shit, but like at the end of the day, he's an incredibly talented artist, and most people like that are like crazy mad geniuses, you know.

Honestly, Like before you invited me to go to that, to that, I had been like I was thinking, like, I don't know. My mom said something recently to me, not too much, just enough thank you. Maybe she'll that'll translate to something the chance to shay. She listens pretty good, she does.

I feeling she's gonna pour it. It's all gonna just go everywhere. But whatever gets across that bridge, we'll get there.

She said something about like I remember like there was a time like I grew up going to church with my dad, like that was our thing. Like I didn't see my dad a lot, but when he did pick me up on Sundays, that was his thing, like he was repenting for his sins of the week and also picking up his daughter.

He hadn't seen.

I'm going to heaven. Yeah, period, And.

So I grew up like going to a black church like that was my first entry into church.

The church was like the black the choir, the.

Music, and I remember before I even understood what any of it was like that's what connected to feel it. You felt like everyone coming together. You felt like everyone Okay, I'll be learned one second. You felt everyone coming together, You felt everyone's energy, You felt like people n you felt like people needed help and people were getting help.

I remember bringing my friends to church with me. Oh my god.

I remember bringing my little like two of my little white home girls to church from like Archer School for Girls, which is like the super real, like prestigious middle school. My mom sent me to and I took them to Church of the Harvest, which was at the Palladium at the time. Yes, the Palladium was having church also a place where people do drugs currently, Like that's where like li so just performed.

Like that's a concert a concert hall.

Yeah, and people like passing out and ship and speaking in tongues and they were all like scared, like first was probably.

The most around of black people they've ever seen.

They were so scared, and I just kept I was like proud. I remember being no, not just proud of what It's fine, you guys, this is like totally like and being like this is like I don't know, I don't I just remember this feeling of like this is how we do it.

Yeah.

Also church though too was like confusing to me though, because my dad didn't pay attention much.

He would play games with me all the time.

And then then at the end would go talk to like uh, the like the pre preacher or the pastor at the end and go do his like secret like private talk or forgiveness or some shit. But I remember like, I think my really like, for me, church became negative when I got to you know what, I think it was my like when I got to high school, when I started going to Catholic.

School, What do you think of it?

Why?

Because I think that's interesting.

It was so different than anything I was used to.

It was so like, oh, oh, you're saying that your church experience at Notre Dame.

I mean it's not even I didn't even go to church.

I didn't grow up going to church every Sunday because I just also didn't grow up with my dad my mom.

I also got a different perspective there.

You go.

I also got a different perspective because my mom then started to go to church throughout on and off throughout my life. I felt like started going whenever there was like she was going through going through something, and it.

Was always it was. It was much different than the church my dad would take me to. And I never liked that church.

Was it Catholic or regular. It was like non denominational, but it was very like it was in the valley. It was very Caucasian, and I just remember it very boring.

Like it just changed. It just changed.

And also like it really like the people that were teaching me religion and high school, it was a lot of shame involved. It was a lot of shame. It was a lot of guilt. It was really guilt driven, like if you don't do this, then this is what happens, and if you don't like believe in this, then you're going to hell or like you're not a good or you need to do more work so you can be a better person.

That was absolutely where I was like, ah, I'm cool to the point where because I was doing bad things and then I felt and then they would tell me things like when you're in one of g when you're one of God's children, he also will punish you when you're doing.

Wrong, and like so stupid.

Now I got caught like two times in a row snaking a boy in my room, were having sex or anything, and I got caught twice and I was like, oh, this is cause I'm I'm a Christian. Now God is not gonna let me get away with this. And I was like praying on my knees. Oh my God.

I know. But there's a lot of reasons I'm turned off by it. The guilt, the shame.

There's so many things that come naturally to us as women and as people, sexuality, sensuality, being in touch with that, Like, I don't like to I don't think in any situation you should be guilted in doing anything. There should be no if you do this, you're gonna go to heaven. If you don't, you're gonna go to hell. That makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like it's like trying to make a fearful people, and I think that's like a fear tactic.

I don't believe in that, so I but also I went.

To that winter church camp and the last day they started speaking in tongues and then they were like like trying to really pressure us into catching our tongues too, and we just weren't catching the tongues, and like to the point they went on the way, like we went back to the cabin and they were still trying to force the tongue speaking.

That's too much.

It was too much. And then one time my youth pastor said something.

About my cleavage. Of course, you know I'm gonna huci since I came out the wound. So I was just like, why are you looking at my cleavage? This is strange, Like I wasn't even thinking about it.

You're not, You're never thinking about it.

Then there's then there's.

Like the black side of me that like I associate I associate like Christianity with like their their tactic to make like slaves, like give them a little something, but take away their freedom.

I totally cannot wait. So if you is your history with the church in Catholicism.

No, did you go to church?

I went to Catholic schools, right, But did you go to church like in Philly or did you I.

Went to I always went.

I went to church with my grandmother and I think she I don't even know like Baptists. And then when I moved here, my dad is and I grew up in a very anti Christian family. My dad was like, hey, no Jesus, some white man that is not like it was like some some of white man made it that a long time ago, and everybody believed it, and that made sense.

To me that as I got older, but then I don't know what happened.

Eighth grade, I got into it, but as I became more aware it doesn't.

It didn't sit well with me.

This huge white, blue whyed, blonde haired figure looking really sad down at me from the cross, Like when I went to Lutheran school.

In seventh grade, I went to you know.

Catholics high school, and I just it just made me uneasy. And the fact that like, I mean, black people are really really into Jesus. And then like definitely in the South, then I went to I went to church all the way up into like college, but like towards the end before I moved from Atlanta, I was like kind of getting just after the music was over, I'd be like

I remember watching my dad put money and it was always he never put less than one hundred dollars, and it was usually two or three. And I always remember like, WHOA, that's like that's a lot of money. And I was like thinking, like why.

Do we like?

And I'd see like because I'd see him put this money and then I see the next person and be like five dollars, and I see the next person it might be like ten dollars, and I'm like, WHOA, why does my dad feel like he must deliver this much? I mean, is he I mean, obviously he's giving what his percentages?

Well, they tell you, no, I know that's what I mean. That's what I mean. But like he's really following that. And my dad grew up in the South, you.

Know, he went he grew up in church, and it was like, I feel like he went to church out of just habit because that's what you're.

Supposed to do.

And like for me, like when I when I went, and I did enjoy it, like I enjoyed the energy. I wouldn't I wouldn't say I really like paid. I guess I did pay attention to the message. But once we started opening up the book and reading shit, I got kind of lost and I remember Sunday school was really a.

Time just to flirt with boys. But I don't know like more more recently lately.

Honestly, in the past, I would say, I mean, I've I think, like because I had Catholic school kind of steered me away from religion and a say, in a sense in my early twenties, I started like thinking thinking more about what my like what I did believe in, and I was like, Okay, I'm a spiritual person.

Okay, but what does that actually mean? What does it mean to be spiritual?

Is it just that, like you know, I ask for things, I talked to this imaginary thing every now and then, or I believe that there's something bigger than me that besides me. Who like, what is what exactly it is my spirituality? How do I define it? And I've gotten in and out of like trying to figure that out. But recently, I just I've been feeling called to go to church in some capacity, whether it's church or a space that I can go and.

Be committed to devote.

Devote to that, to figuring out what that means, what that what the spirituality means, and exploring that more because there's just been too many times where I've been like, wow, shit just is working out. Something is looking the fuck out for me. And it's not just by chance, and it's not just by accident or because I'm a good person or car or luck. And it's like I feel like I've been feeling called to like honor that in some way because I should, and I'm grateful for it.

And if you can.

Sprinkle some motivation some you know, some other like deep shit in there, I am in. But I just I have to find what that means to me and where that means to me I'm like, where do I find this perfect balance of all the things I need in la? I think that hundred dollars Kanye, Yeah.

Yeah, No, well no, I just I don't know. I don't even think he charges.

He does. Ashley bought tickets.

She did, yes, Oh I thought it was free.

Oh no, we could just go to the forum for free and show up.

Well it was church. Wow, I'm one hundred dollars.

Oh yeah, this was a new come up.

Oh wow, I didn't know that. I thought I was. Yeah. I think that.

We rarely get to go to a space amongst other people and then like bear ourselves and like take off the load of the day, take off the stress, take off what you did yesterday, take it off unloaded, and bear it. Like there's not a lot of places that were willing to be completely.

Naked.

Well, we're all here because we want to do something. We want to do some unpacking.

And I think that was which was what was really beautiful about Kanye, because it is still Kanye.

So it's like, is this a concert? Is his church?

But people are like like that's another thing for raising of hands, the dropping of knees. Like, to me, that's saying like I'm coming and I'm dropping all of my everything that I have, like all the all the the faces and the masks that we put up every day all the time, not even realizing.

It just comes to a place and you could just like let go of all that and be like I'm here and I'm laying down everything, and I'm asking for this, and I'm you know what I mean, Like that's a really beautiful thing.

I I think that wherever you go to seek, you will find it. Like I've practiced Buddhism, I've chanted namio hole range Kio. I've been to Buddhists like spaces and you go in front of a scroll and you ring three bells and you nomio ho range geykio as many times as you can, and that shit seems strange in a room full a lot of people. But then like there's this powerful movement of this. It's like they call it a miss this mystics being mysticness. And which other

Okay, that's what it's called.

Yeah, s re F. It's like self realization fellowship all paths that oh.

I've walked over there. I did met it. Actually I went there with my friend.

The lawn and we meditated there and then we went They have like this bookstore and they talk about like the guy who founded it actually have his booked, right.

Oh yeah, I always see yeah and Pamahansa Yogananda. But I really feel like there is this omni present spirit amongst all of us that connects us, that's in God, that's in our ancestors, that's in our angels, that's in our kids, that's amongst people. And I so whenever we can acknowledge that and give it power, it's so it's also giving ourselves power and that you know, like there's obviously.

Something bigger than us.

But I think sometimes we get I get stuck on the fact, like why we got to calm he him?

Who?

Like like what, why does it have to be Jesus, Jesus Christ, our Lord, our savior. Those words make me uncomfortable. And I know for some people that's like, oh no, she's a heathen.

I don't know.

I believe that there's a lot of godly people that have walked this earth, a lot of healers, a lot of people that possess supernatural abilities beyond the realm of this world even tonight, like looking up at the like I came outside while you were cooking, and I was looking at the moon and it was just like, it's just this this orb that's connected to us and controlling like I was saying, like controlling the ocean.

How can we think.

That it doesn't control us that we're not connected to. If we're connect we're If we're connected to that, how many other things are we connected to that we don't even realize it? Then that's why energy is so important. We are all connected. Everything we're connected to. I'm connected to this fucking because it came from a tree that you know.

You know what I mean?

Like, well, because they're all man out of the same shit.

I know, it's just we're particles and cells and atoms. I just feel like I don't know, like there are I believe there have been holy men like Jesus or Buddha or whoever. And there's not just one specifically that I don't know if there's one person or thing I would worship.

It's more like I honor energy.

I see the God in you.

I see the God, you know, like these are just you have the honor energy, you have the honor what comes natural to you, and I don't. Sometimes I get stuck between, like, do we need like discernment? Do we need discipline in certain areas? Absolutely, But I also feel like there's so much to learn and being free and honoring all parts of yourselves because there's like, there's things

Because I think inevitably that feeling eventually gets manipulated in some way no offense, like I somewhat in all religions and all in some ways there's a controlling.

Aspect of any system. There's going to be people who take advantage of that system.

Yeah, And I'm not saying that because there's beauty in all of it, and I get that there's discipline in all of it, which you know could be argued, which is why women have to wear this and whatever. But like I think that, I don't know, is it sad to think that? Is it human nature to just want to control?

Oh?

I always battle this in my head. I battle what is human that's our fault. Yeah, Like what is human nature?

Is that our one fault? Like not one? But like obvious there's more? But is that the core of like.

Like no, but like if I give Erica a seventy percent power over a system, are you going to inevitably abuse it?

No?

I would hate to say that, Like I would say, like, you know what I mean.

Does it just take one bad apple to ruin the bunch?

Are they just some fucked up people?

That's what I mean?

Like, I don't know, Yeah, Like do do some people actually need religion because they can't gauge just a regular ethical moral compass of love by fucking neighbor because it seems pretty much given? But then we see that it's not. And I would like to say that's the route because people have been hurt and so they act out and hurt other people.

But are people just born that way? Like do people? Like do people need these systems to be moral?

This the systems of what we're religio religion? N I know, I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so either. I mean because I'm sure Christians kill?

What do you mean You're sure? Right?

I'm like, yeah, so you're not exempt, No.

But I do believe that, Okay, I don't know. Like, so I battle this because I want to believe that everyone is born pure, that we're all given the same opportunity the like in like once we're born, like in a perfect world, right, I think even in a perfect world you can have the perfect everything. I think just like there's people that are born and just I don't know, I do believe like.

Evil can be born as well. Oh for sure, it's not like everyone is just pure.

But then it's like, where does that come from?

That a past life, reliving something, living something out I just think, okay, and then that's another thing. Religion, So okay, what is religion at its core? Religion is so quick to frown their nose that that really anything witchcraft, witchery like brew.

Ha.

But at the end of the day.

That depends what religion.

But yeah, yeah, true, But like all of it is ritualistic, the blood of Christ, the blood and body of Christ. Like that's strange, you know. So it's just like it's circumclis and all of them. Yeah, oh God, don't get me started. I watched this documentary Orthodox Jews.

I don't want to talk about it. I told you no, but I already know a lot.

Okay, yeah, okay, I gotta say it. We're talking about religion. We can't skip over it. I don't think they do it well. I know most people don't do it anymore.

But very early on, in very extreme situations, the rabbi would cut the baby and then put his mouth on the penis to I don't fucking know what.

I don't know.

I know, I know, I'm not.

I don't mean to laugh, but like, no, it's not it's it's not a laughing matter.

But that's their tradition.

Yeah, and then there's another there's another Orthodoxy Jewish tradition where they.

Match the husband in life. They get married, they.

Go in another room while their entire wedding party waits out in front of the dwarfs for her to consummate the marriage. So essentially, your whole family is waiting for you to fuck in the next room and then you come out. No, they put a hole in your dress so you can stick it through. Then they come on like oh opah, and everybody knows. Basically just like your cherry pop in the other room, and then you have a party and I was like, whoa, And I think that's.

Been going on for centuries.

But there's different and many different religions though not just orthodoxed no, but there's a.

Lot of like we've seen pedophilia, sexual magic and acts that are taking place in religious like.

So much. It can all get murky, It can get it can all get murky.

Even the witchiest of the witchy shit. It gets a little scary too.

Well, No, that is scary when you're you can deal, when you're dealing, when you're dealing.

In harnessing energy.

It can get murky if you have bad intentions. But at the very root of it, all the ritualistic and the sacrifices, it all comes from some like rather pagan ass shit. It's true.

All it takes is one dark thought and then that thought turns.

Into hmm, no, well everybody has dark thoughts.

No, but I mean, but some people act on them. Okay, well some people don't, you know. That's the difference in sanity. I have a lot of weird fucking thoughts. Okay, do I do them all?

Thank God?

No? Okank god?

No, I don't know if we just confused ourselves bad now, I sound.

Like a creep. What kind of thoughts? Is air? Fuck is going on?

Everybody has crazy thoughts.

You're not alone and you're crazy thoughts.

Just don't act on them if they're crazy. Okay, So because I felt, okay, what would you do? What?

What?

How are you going to instill spirituality or religion in your child? Because I realized what I took. I mean Erica and I took Luna to Sunday service. She was so over it.

She was like, how would she into it?

At first though, she was just like whatever, this is? This the last song?

And I was like, and she would try to sing some of the songs she knew, but she was well, you know, she could have also been just trying to be a fret.

But could she sit or was she standing the whole time?

Okay?

I picked her up because sometimes other people were standing so she couldn't see.

But I'm being that small having all these people stand around.

You sounds.

Are we supposed to be taking the kids to church so they know some sense of the Lord. Because I was like, she doesn't know anything about church?

She was like, what's happening? I always been asked them about God lately too? Oh my gosh, what did she say?

Said the sweetest thing the other day, which also touched my heart in a way where I was like, okay, like I'm letting her lead this conversation. In some ways, I want to see what her like. I know that people or there's inevitably someone has told her what God is, whether or not I know it or not, whether it's at school or you know. But right like, we were looking at the sun and she was like, look at the sunset, mommy, and she was like, how is it

That what God is? Is God in the sky? Where is God?

Imagine her child? How foreign and strange is.

Is he coming to dinner? Who can keeps on talking about him?

I haven't seen it?

When do we meet him? What the fun do you mean?

Like?

Why does he look like a bird.

She hasn't asked me all those questions yet, but I think she understands that it's bigger than us, that it's not like someone that's gonna that's coming over anytime soon, right, you know that he you know that he's around and he's or she is responsible or it or whatever is responsible for you know, beauty and things we can't explain.

So I don't know, it's interesting. I don't know. I want her to believe that. I want her to I want her to believe in the power of energy me too, and.

Really the power of beautiful things happening.

Beautiful things happening in connection, and really that it's all inside of you, because truly, that's what it is. And it's just like, I don't know, we spend so much time looking outwardly and trying to find this bigger purpose going on all these that not to knock anything or about trying to go on retreats or like, you know, trying to find something because we all get to that in different ways. But really it's just it's always here.

It, right, Oh, I feel connected.

Hm.

But I don't know if I don't know. I'm gonna if anybody is listening right now, if.

You live in the LA area and you know of some sort of place of worship, I should explore.

I'm going on a tour.

I feel like all the black people and m I go to one particular sho.

I know it's called like the one, the one right, Yeah, No, I'm cool on that one.

It was nice when I went. I was too high that day to like be into religion.

I was just like, it seems I feel like that's also a scene.

It is a scene.

I'm not trying to go to LA everything is No.

It's not I want to go to the SRF. Okay a is bomb that seeing like a scene when.

I went, But the music is not going to be like what you're trying to get.

I know.

That's the thing. Where do I get the whole balance of it all?

Is can Kanye Kanye like I even Kanye Choir elaborate with self Realization's fellowship at Lake Shrine.

Let's put that out in the universe.

I'm going to start my own quo Sia, starting my own choir? Is that is my first.

Know when you're.

No.

Honestly though, I mean, I I think, I think, I'm like I honestly like, there's been so many times, especially the last time was in Atlanta, like when we were out there, like I finally just surrendered and I believed. I was like, something bigger is going to make this okay. It's going to be fine, and I know it's not a coincidence when it happens. And then it happened, and I told myself, if it happened in a way, made a promise, not a promise. But I was like, like,

So I was like, this is so weird non religious relationship. I guess to me our parents we're also on our religion together.

Jesus Christ, Oh my goodness.

I just think, really what it is is like for for me, for Lunin, for the kids. It's just letting her know that divine things happen when you allow them to. There have been so I'm not really like religious, but like, there are things.

That happen all the time where I was like, it's yesterday.

I remember that name that popped up when we're talking about.

Oh right, right, that was so weird. It's God, like, Hai, I'm around, it's me here.

Yeah, I'm showing myself believe it.

Even that moment that you're talking about in Atlanta when.

We were bad, we were in.

A bad situation and Erica usually be stressing the fuck out, and this is a good valid reason to stress the funk out, Like they're gonna come get this ship. We're gonna have to pay another day and we don't have the money for this ship, and you're like everything else has worked itself out, It's gonna work out. And I was like, hmm, that's new, but you're right, so okay, Like I'm always like, well, if you can't do anything about it.

You just be.

And literally that was the defining moment in our in our fucking manifesting of shit happening for us, because looking for Jamel not having, not having, like he'm not answering the.

Phone for hours or at all.

We've only met him like twice at this point, and we see this man walk through this place.

It was just so crazy. I mean, I want our kids to know that's there's something someone rooting for you. So have faith in that and follow that and don't miss any messages from anyone and any small thing that seems a little bit missed it.

I have a question, irin, what is God?

Oh kind of people? That makes people?

People? That makes people? Because God as people? Okay, where's God? And God in God? God is in God? Kay? Does God? Where God? Where does God live in God?

Oh?

Okay?

Cool? I like that.

It's a good description. Well, on that note, it's late. I gotta put this little one to sleep.

No, yes, but I love you.

Oh you're out. I love you too.

Ooh it's here, Oh my god. Oh oh more.

If you are in the LA area, come hang out with us on Saturday nights at a simple bar off a Kawenga in Hollywood Hills actually.

Like Studio City, not what like. I don't even know how they got across it.

That's it goes up. It's like the hill Us. It's in a little plaza. It's cool.

It's a dope.

Bar.

They play hip hop and the drinks are good, and we'll be there. We'll be there hanging out nine thirty ish nine pm nine.

I think we already committed to nine Yeah you know really yeah, we'd be late nine thirty.

Don't get there and not say hi. That's weird.

Yeah, please don't do that, Like, just come say hi. Work, That's why we're all there. We're all there to say hi.

Oh.

Also, bring a single friend, bring a tender date, a hinge date.

Maybe that person that's been in that inbox that you're like, I.

Don't know should I do it? Where should we meet? I don't want to like be weird. Just invite them there, simple bar. We'll vet them for you.

We're professionals, professional tender vetters.

Any other announcements, Oh yeah, we have a big announcednage.

Sure, dude, after one complete year of really strategic have been one year, it's been a minute, I think, so I don't even think we It doesn't matter.

The point is we stalked and stalked and stocked like we always do.

The point is is just do it.

It's God.

Just ask.

If you don't ask, then you'll never know. This is We're proof of that. Okay, this podcast is proof of that.

Just everything that we're doing is proof that if you just try and just fucking ask and don't just do it, just do it like Nike. Anyway, we have fucking Sean King coming on our podcast.

Yeah, that's right, you heard her.

Sean King is coming on Good Mom's Bad Choices.

Yes, and we're so excited because we've been following him for a minute. I just have so many questions, and I'm sure maybe you guys do too, So please please email, please email us any question, you have, anything you want, just go for it.

This is your time. If you've ever.

Wanted to ask Seaun King anything, or social activist or a black man, or a father or just an overall just educated human some shit.

Here you go. You're welcome.

Seaun King baby will be in New York.

Yeah, next week we will. So if you're out there, let us know. Okay, let's go do some shit.

Let's go get into some shit.

Oh my god, are we gonna have a New York meet up?

I feel like we don't have any time, but we need to maybe just like a just like a bar, a happy hour, meet us a happy hour.

We actually have to we just announced it, so if you have any happy hour suggestions.

Please let us know.

Yeah, anyway, anyway, we will catch you guys next week.

I told you I'm your littery.

Don't need some ticketsh mama, Please, you're comforted with my sheep found It's like a crush appreaching.

Never led on me, My mama, she inspired me like you.

Good woman.

She could say the world, but tell me who gone save her?

Who gone save her?

Blessing woman.

She could say the world, but tell me