Insecurities

M d.

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I roun me to be on g.

Classic shit.

I'm looking for a nigga to give some baby's a handful of louise. He sprinkle of day, best man. I ain't got no type like Jimmy and Swaye Lee's. But if he can't fuck three times a night, I tried to fuck fifty for a powerful hour. But don't let a nigga want to do is talk power for hours.

The pussy up.

Make sure it's the kyo.

Step your banks up like you're moving at ye yo. Somebody going make sure cuchi oke though I heard she think I'm trying to get a kouchi to Quavo. They always want to beat it up, coon up the pussy man. Maybe I should let him or to tune up the pussy.

All these baid.

Wild challenge niggas lying and shit. Many steady white niggas say tying my shit drink with a hundred million Yoi's fining me shit. But I don't know if the pussy by door, if he crying and shit me still be in my DMS, I'd be having the dubleum. I used to pray for tomes like this man who's here is my baby. He ain't taking the hel but he took it. Linda Ridley when I said, go to hell, used to fuck with young thug guy dressing the ship, going to

Baptists.

I'm just like, welcome bye, good mom's bad choices. It's Nila and Erica and we're back.

Yes, we are looking rough as fun.

Yeah, we uploaded one video to our private that's not even private, are you to the count that no one knows about because we've only uploaded.

But I just want to give an update that we do have one video live. We won't post it yet, but.

It's there. That's there, and it's gonna be. We're making progress. There's gonna be a couple of some coming out there.

We're gonna go just do it slowly, but really we're just gonna upload them and then they'll all be there eventually. Yeah, there's like ten This one, however, that we're recording right now. This is some real mom realness because we don't love this so hot. I'm not gonnat like. We even had the nerve to do it on selfie mooe so we could see ourselves.

I'm just trying to make my hair look bigger so it distracts from what's happening below the hair.

It's pretty tragic, but I had a rough day and this is what I look like.

And it's it's nine and so fuck you.

I just kind of late and my kid at school tomorrow, So let's get this happen.

How was your week? It has been good. I went out this weekend. I told you guys last episode, I believe I haven't been drinking.

So it was my friend's birthday. Did did they talk about this already?

No? Yeah, it just happened. And usually I'm the wasted one. But then like now I've been somber and they are ways said. I'm like, your nipples are out at the club again, get us together, And my friends are like, bitch, your nipples are always out even when you're not drunk. I know, I know I have. Yeah, So yeah, I guess I was making a hypocrite, but I was like, oh, this really makes me not want.

To drink so much.

These bitches are wasted.

Well, people become very annoying when they're drunk, yes, and when you're not noticed, you're just like, oh my god.

Also, we went into Lila. We talked about this like way before me and Erica went there. It's super bougie for those of you who don't live in the LA area, so bouge.

All the like celebrities go there.

They have like dancers that look like roaring twenties break assy just like walking around stone Face. Basically all the employees are stone Face because everybody Alian is a bitch, even if they're in customer service and they're under twenty three, and they basically try to make us move after like they said, we didn't call them hint our reservation.

I was really fucking annoyed.

Dinner was six hundred fucking dollars.

And they're made us And then we were with one cheek and she she has the nerve they're being mean that are trying to make us move because we were taking too long and they're like.

She was like, I am a yelp elite and I'm good, And the manager, straight faced as fuck, said I could give a rat ass about Yelp because if you guys know La No, Yeah, that first of all, never have I ever heard anyone go to a club and be like a restaurant, loud, round bar. No one ever goes to those type of spaces. And it's like, I'm gonna I'm a Yelp Elite member. You know what that means. I'm here because I found it on Yelp.

And but you know what, I think people that are Yelp Elite members, they get perks in certain places, so they start filming themselves because they'll go to some restaurants and check in and like a person with the restaurant be like, we have an elite member here. I should be a dessert. I love restaurants. So that was really funny.

And then okay, so then we went to another club, and as soon as we walked from the club, like literally within minutes, one contact started sucking up, and I was like in the bathroom like people were walking into me. I'm trying to put it back in, and then like it fell and then immediately after the other one started fucking it fell out.

So I was in the club like I feel like I can't hear what I.

Can't see, So I feel like our rhythm was off and I was sober and I still thought.

I remember was off, idn't see shit?

And then it was just when if you wear contacts and your glasses, you know how it feels to not be able to see and be out it feels fun.

Plus my friends titting yourself.

She was drunk.

I was like, I am too bright, just so sober for this shit.

Oh yeah, I was like, oh my god, what about here? What did you do?

I had a weird week.

I feel like all week I was just feeling really weird, like I felt very needy. I feel better now. It's crazy, like a few days does. Because I was going through some shit. I was feeling really neat, I was feeling really insecure. I was feeling fucking just kind of crazy.

And I mean, I know like where some of it stems from, but I think I swear to God that it's it's the planet's in retrograde.

I swear like there's like I don't know if they're.

All still there, but like six different planets were in retrograde, and I could feel it, like, and so many people I was talking to this week was talent were telling me like I'm like, do you feel grasmy?

And yeah, do you feel crazy? Because I feel crazy.

It was just like an overwhelming I think I think so many people just were feeling it, not just me.

Yeah, it's it's been an interesting week.

It' is't that weird? How like you can wake up feeling one way and then ida feeling that the way, and it's just like what.

The fuck consistency here?

I mean I definitely I gradually had to like make some changes this week to like push through that.

I think we're definitely contributing to how I was feeling. I was also feeling really tired.

But you can hear it. GM is recommending me touching my necklace. She apparently she's a sound.

Sound mixer.

You know, we got the airplanes going by. The keys in the bag were only just like next ship anyway, Chase.

I yeah, So I had to make some changes that and that like that I that needed to be made, and I started to feel better, but I know that it was bad and there was some other just the universe was just draining me.

Yes, man, Okay, be careful, be careful, okay, okay, thank you.

Oh my god, my child is like someone's auntie auntie.

I said, you said be careful.

I'm saying no, she's not jumping on. So yeah, that was bad and now you're feeling better. I do feel better.

But in that in the midst of all of that like neediness bitch, I joined bumble, I joined riot. I like reacted with my tender like I was like, I was like.

I needed male attention, and I don't know what that was like it was so weird and like.

Did you get it or you just speaking? Were you successful?

But like I guess I sort of was in one situation the other situation. It wasn't that I wanted like physical attention. I wanted like emotional attention, and both of them were unfulfilling, you know, they didn't fulfill me. And that's why I was like, what is happening? Well obviously, I just it was just something deeper was happening, you know, and now it's slowly becoming I'm slowly seeing through the light.

I'm so unhappy, and I'm like, I'm not I'm actually very happy.

I'm not unhappy. I just feel weird today. Yeah, sometimes you can just be like I feel weird todays, I'm having a weird day.

It was like five days.

But yeah, but a for a while, I was like, is this feeling ever gonna go away? And then I did. But yeah, that's my emo. Last week. I'm emotional, so I know that's my emo. Last week.

I feel like something could happened, but I can't remember because I'm emo.

I can't literally not think past Like yesterday, I'm like, Saturday, what I do? I don't want to fuck I remember? Well, Yeah, I don't know what yesterday.

Yestually were productive.

We were so productive gym. I got a smoothie, we went to the office, we got notepads and ship we got like five emails completed.

It was the most productive thing we've done.

Every uploaded video we uploaded the video, we edited it, we edited, we had together. Oh man, okay, And they were like that took a lot out of me, especially with the week I had.

I felt like exhausted after that. I can hardly take any calls. I was like, this up my phone call saying we must have been working. We would to take the kids in the park.

Oh my god, I had a client.

I was like, I'm the ship. Did it made it next to all the other in predicted in productivity of the week?

Oh okay, But oh, by the way, Rya is racist. Yeah, that's exactly where I was getting. By the way, Riya is racist. At that time, I said Ria is racist because except me, I was right. For those of you who don't know what Riot is is a dating app that's like for like it used to be the La of dating.

If you could put dating in an elite.

Club of like bouginess, it's it would be Ria.

Have men there.

You have to have references from Instagram. They have to fellow you have to and you have to be white. Make sure I must be white. They must you must have passed.

Yeah, And I was like, well, she's lighter than me.

Did She's so happy to be like she said, I'm lighter than her, much.

Wider than she, has more followers than you.

They did not dida. I'm Hebay said, the're putting your wedding. I remember, but either right fucking appreciating.

All I know is that I have been on riah

Like six pack mod, like what the fuck? And then there's been a few black guys, but.

They're all like recognizable athletes. They's a comedian like There's but.

There's I was engaging fully in Horio because I felt like it was for been fruit since they fucking didn't accept me. So I was very excited to get my hands on it. And I was greatly disappointed. We saw like maybe four black guys. I feel like they only let the black guys on that they think the white girls want to not even yeah, people like t o like white bitches want to. No black girl really wants to.

No, I wouldn't do it, and like, I don't know.

It was just I was disappointed. So the report is My review two years ago was also bumble as well. Bumble.

I don't like having to reach out first.

I mean I didn't like that. I don't really don't like Okay. So anyway back to this sweek's current events.

Nicki Minaj dropped her album Fire. I don't know about Fire, okay whatever. I the two songs, but you know what, the two songs I like. I do like it a lot, though I.

Do like a huge like Niki maybe but from the nineties. But I can't lie, Like I can't deny that the bitch can rap. She really can't.

She's quite a character. She really can't I just think sometimes I get bored with her music. Honestly, sometimes it's boring, but it's not because she can't rap.

I don't like what. Yeah, I'm not a fan of her singing. That Barbie dream.

Song was good, yeah, because she's like talking ship and it just made me like, brought me back to the old nineties. And it was that Biggie sample. Yeah, she was talking shade and just.

Like being like that bitch, you know. Yeah.

And there's another one called rich Sex with Little Wayne, which I like.

I like that one too. That's been the two I heard.

And then I think we heard hard White that was true, but apparently she dissed.

Cardi b Oh, what was going up the pole?

Like I never had to climb the pole to be the something? Oh okay you that weren't you a stripper? And be's in the trap? Remember that music video. She was pretending, but she was acting. She her whole ship is like stripper culture.

Yeah right, her.

Image is stripper. Yeah, you know, if you didn't if we didn't know, you would think you're a stripper, Like just looking at your image that you portrayed to the media. If she's trying to if she's trying to divide the strippers to make a choice between her and Cardi. Cardi is gonna win Cardio's stripper, she proud. Yeah, true, but honestly, I mean, obviously, I think Niki Manut is a way better rapper than Cardi B. But I still just love Cardi.

Well mechanics.

I like dance.

I like dude, I do like that, And so I did like that she it was funny.

She talks about young thugs wearing dresses and dresses, which we.

All know to be true.

I do think I feel like everything she said was true. Yeah, so unbelcome popular culture.

Basically, do you think she was alluding that he was gay or just because he was dancing?

She was remember those remember those selfie should I talk to you about last week? And the thing it's like dancing in front of it is his selfie and says it to you. That's very similar. I could see Odell doing something like that. So that was you're soft, you're bisexual.

Which is you know, we don't bash bisexuals. We both are, but we just know we'd.

Rather just be that. Yeah, Miko's and her dance Dan and uh dj Khaled it doesn't eat pussy, but we already knew that, and she's not down for that black Oh and oh did anybody see that? Of course my accurate shade group. Did you see that comedian overlooking Safaris. I'm like, you're a girl. That's what we do. I'm very emotional. Gro you know, if he grows in Soto,

So yeah, we knew Tiger but had that hairline.

I didn't know that he had a hairline implant. I did. I mean, if you look at old pictures, do I ever see his head anymore? He was like, he always wears a bandana, doesn't He in rested it on the internet because I specifically saw that he didn't have air that he did because I'm not a Taiga fan, so I wasn't like keeping up with this hair.

I like that.

I like his new salt. No, I can't even lie. Oh it takes and then he has another round with that iggy alia. Yeah, I feel the same way about it. But by Girl, But by Girl.

Takes that ass somewhere useful, like to ship back.

I mean, I just don't like her whole image whatever. Maybe she's a nice person, but I heard she's not, so I think her brand is I don't think she can commit to it. She's not a good enough actress. She doesn't even leave herself. Yeah, so it's not believable that she was believable. I'd be always because she looks like a little hotty, sticky like white girl shop her body. I did like her. Dobry is pretty sometimes it's sometimes it she doesn't when it's recorded, but I just she doesn't. She doesn't.

She doesn't sell it enough to me.

When she came out with that first album, Trap Art, I think it was something like that I liked her.

I was like, oh, this is different, like you've been here, were really talking she had been in the interviews.

Yeah.

Then then I saw her perform for the first time, like maybe like a year after that came out, and I'll never forget, like she had like this black hype girl on stage with her who was like totally overshadowing her.

And then I was watching her and she looked like she was scared and you know how, and then she like she dies on the She cries every time on the internet someone says something bad about her her Instagram. It's like, yeah, you're not giving enough actors. She did all this work, you did all this work in the studio, all the good writers, and bitch, we don't even believe you. And that is that gets that's a buzzkill for me. Yeah, like you need to have the full package to be an entertainer.

And then she has some people like she had said some racist shit no way, yeah, and her tweets people dig up tweets.

Oh yeah, damn, who's the tweet diggers? Like who's your what's your job? And then she was talking about like she's the slave master. No, yes, she called herself the slave master. Yes, why would an't even even approve that? Then she was talking about Mexicans and her tweets. It was crazy, it was out of control. Oh well she's ex Yeah, she's been ex by We already spent way too much time on that.

Anyway, Aretha Franklin was in the hospital. Apparently she was gravely ill, which scared the ship out of me, because like, I feel like Aretha is one of those ones.

That lives forever, right, Like, what do you mean? What do you mean like she's sick?

What?

No, don't don't touch Aretha even death.

Back the fuck up. Yeah, But apparently she's back home, and I know she is. I gotta be in her lazy that's she's. Yeah, music's in her nineties, she's gotta be. I want to look it up.

She's gotta be like at least ninety Franklin age.

Oh. I was like, I'm no pop culture genius.

Seventy she's seventy six. Oh god, my bad, girl, My bad.

This bitch. Don't put fourteen years on her. Damn.

I'm like, oh my gosh, it's old. Okay, you're right, you're right, you're right, right, really.

Holliday, right, she's one hundred. Oh my god.

Also, oh uh, our.

Deer, not let me mark that our dear the dear President of the United fucking State only know States is a fucking asshole. This week again.

Breaking news Trump to an asshole.

Okay, the forty ninth week in his entire pregnancy, which has been everyone.

Basically called armrosa dog, which you know, people are trying to treeble are saying that it's racial. Honestly, I don't think it's rachel because he calls it many people dogs. He's called it many different racist people of people dogs. Do I think he's a racist? Absolutely?

Do I think everything he says is racist? I mean I guess if you're a racist?

Yeah, right, Like this is what this is? Just him being ample warming?

Is it real racist? I mean I was fucking I mean, and then, uh, what the fuck is her name? Amerosa? Girl? God girl, we ain't reclaimed?

We a You still can't come to the cookout?

No, you absolutely can't.

You and Kanye can go kick fucking rocks.

Did you see that? Did you see that? Someone was?

Like Kanye tweeted like in response to remember when he was on jermy fan and he didn't know what to say. Yeah, when people asked him like how after everything that Donald Trump has done, like can you like support him or like basically like you, oh the travel band, you have children like.

You famously said the statement George Verus doesn't care about black people. You obviously acknowledged, and we kind of expected you to not take you know, fucking the you know, not support Yeah, the Sunken Place roll, and he had nothing to say.

Oh, then in his tweet he said, you know this is live TV, like you as you saw, Like I was processing what I was going to think and what I was going to say, and then they cut to a commercial break, so I didn't even get to say what I wanted to say. I shout out to the Jimmy Fallon team, you guys are classy, blah blah blah nigga.

Then you're gonna answer a question, So so what do you said that? Furthermore, Mom, you're talking about processing a question. There's many questions I wish you had processed and that process. If you can't answer that question that quickly, then why aren't we even supporting this person?

Exactly?

You obviously didn't think about all this shit right before you endorsed him, and he's literally taking fucking kids from their parents because they're not American quote unquote. That is racist as fun. And if you've got to think about that, you think you don't need to think at all. Yeah, did you watch Insecure?

Yes, yes, you know, I watched it.

I watched it.

Huh why did you spill water?

Did you sell water on the floor? Why? What? Oh my god, we're gonna take a quick break because there's water on the floor.

Yeah, we're back.

Our kid is playing with an umbrella outside the house. Probably dangerous, but this is like the forties. We don't have three episodes, but the tenth episode, we're like, don't work with the umbrella. I stop playing with umbrella. It's not safe. Every week they play with the fucking up. Wish you had it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, iriate.

She's running through the house with the umbrella like she's married, poppin'.

Wait, Iri, they're gonna do like a dcase and we're gonna be mute, but you're married your kids.

Put that umbrella down. Put it, Put the umbrella down. No, we're playing with the umbrella anyway.

I tell a point. You just give up.

Oh hell yeah, Insecure season premiere, Season three, Season three premiere. Everybody a bunch of Insecure, right if you don't catch up.

It's so good. It's so good, it's funny as hell, it's related. I just love it. It's just because it just feels like, you know, real conversations that you have with your friends.

So it's quality writing.

So it's a really good TV show. It's super.

Honest.

Yeah, and there's definitely some zaddies on the show.

Zaddies with their asses fully.

Out and they're fully boiled.

Damn, Oh my gosh, there's worn. Oh no, it's just sitch you. I don't know. I don't want to rut it, Like what if people haven't seen it. You haven't seen it, then you're late. You're late, so you have free days. I hit the fifteen skip button real quick, wish mute now, I mean, I think it already happens. The production of this this season looks very classy, very high quality, beautiful. I love the fight and the O in the lift.

Boy, do we know who's a love interest.

Yet you can tell, yeah, he didn't tip for fifty dollars. I wouldn't write a show, so I can just write and fine niggas like, no, babe, I haven't cheated, it's the show. No, I just need to make out with him.

Because it was written in my show.

I just wrote that part, but it was just for the show. Everybody said I should keep it and cast this finance interest. Right the fuck. He might have put the tip in, but it's for the show. We're paying the bills. Not to self write a show. Seriously, Oh my god, because yeah, yeah, lots of flying point men. Okay, so Daniel's saying on Daniel's couch, could you say, like a friend that he bons couch while he bons somebody else in the next room. I don't that would be

I mean, if I had no other place to go, which it's she knows she can go to Molly's house, she just don't want to go.

She had like three friends, Like I would be you know what I would.

I would be at Molly's house, low key, I would in the bougie apartment at Molly's house.

Yeah, but you see how they digger.

Still, I'll figure it out, but I don't have to hear this dude other bits.

And it says he is fine Jesus, Jesus totally okay, Yes, yeah, I've been looking forward to the rest of this season.

Yeah, me too.

I'm looking forward to it because I don't know what happens at all. I am I need him And I really just called up on all the seasons like this week because then it was coming on for other reasons.

But but I think watching that made us think, well, partly watching that, paired with just things universes brought us leaves us to our topic today, which was fired by a d M that we got in our t MS.

In our.

But oh should I just read it?

Yeah?

Okay, So we.

Got a d M from one of our listeners, and it was so interesting because perspective is everything, and that's what I realized, perspective that it's just so crazy when you see that other.

It's just a bug, what the fun is?

Definitely mortified of all insects. I told you that bug was gonna come for me later.

It was just like it wasn't even a spider.

This bitch got fully fully a close. I get a shirt. Oh my god, this bitch is literally walking out of her room to change your shirt because she had a I don't know what kind of bug and I didentifiable bug on her neck. It looked harmless. Oh my god, I stressed me out. What was it? What kind of bug? I don't know. I'm not the sucking.

It was a big it.

Was string to dry.

It looked like this.

Oh my god, this is exactly Oh hell, no, wa it's like a caterpillar.

Oh my god, that is like a cade. Oh my god.

Oh okay, Well, you guys have witnessed a phobia or her phobia. I'm sorry that you had experienced that, but I'm deathly afraid of bugs. All okay, Anyway, I was just we're just saying. What I was saying was it's crazy what you you think people seeing you when people were in and they don't, And it becomes an insecurity that no.

One even notices, like an invisible insecurity. So okay. So she says, Okay, so today I want.

To discuss how to get past this particular insecurity. And this may or may not be worthy for the show, but still very interested. It's worthy, I have an extremely bad insecurity. I have an extremely bad insecurity or hang.

Up about my feet so to describe it.

If you've ever been passed out drunk, you understand the magnitude of the insecurity.

I would not let someone I was sleeping with remove my.

Shoes and socks while while in an incoherence state.

I mean, I was pretty much passed out drunk after vomiting. I don't remember this, but this is what he told me.

He was a fling at the time, non existent now, but has never seen my feet as many of my three partners, who I assume don't think anything of it.

But I intentionally, I intentionally leave socks on.

Your partners definitely know this right right, and I notice what it does those socks manes. Yeah, but it now has gotten to where I will avoid relationships, dating, cuddling, et cetera.

If I think for a.

Second, I will have to take my socks and shoes off. That said, how do I get past this? I know some will care and some won't. I just can't find the nerve to find to find out who is who?

So she sent us her feet.

Oh okay, so then she said, so this is the next question do I do. I preface it with a disclaimer I hate to do that and lead with insecurity and a lack of confidence.

Though, please give me some insight. I have attached a picture of them.

Lay So she sent us her feet, and girl, they're not even bad, like they.

Are not actually so cute. Actually I was. I was like trying to find what she was talking about, really examining the thing. She's like, yeah, I'm taking there some bundion. There are no budians. I have real bunions on my little toes look like little buns. Literally, they're not cute. I'm like, girl, I went tree those feet and that gives your own fus about wearing a sock. I'm farefoot all with her. How cute her feet are because she

But you were fed up if it's like the fourth finger, that's like right, You're like you can't really hide that one, like I'm dancing the.

Club, So like that's a deep and security. So one of my biggest questions was when we talked to her, did someone say something to you like about your feet one time and ever since then you've been like hung up on it because it's like it just hits you because a lot of times i'd be really I realized that insecurities come from like small comments from significant people we think are significant at the time, and then we can't let it go because now it's pointed out to us. So what you said?

She said, yeah, she said yeah, she said yeah, was like when how old was she? She said she was really young when it happened.

I think, I think, yeah, but I forgot when remember like an X or something?

Okaybe And then Jamila proceeded to post a picture of her feet, and her boyfriend message her and said gets.

A sadly as feed off the ground. That was like the clothes.

Fuck.

But I mean I think the advice you gave her was like I don't like, I don't like my feet, and I just go out there and we encourage her to encourage her to like at least try to wear slides and.

Because I mean, mostly no one is going to care.

No one's gouna be looking. Niggas don't care about feet. Look, they look at your rouse, your chitties. But and yeah, thinking about your vagina, Yeah, that's what I think. And like you might find like a one in ten foot footage and even he's gonna be happy to have those two feet, right, Like if you told me specifically, like early on, I'm like, your feet are ugly, And I was like, really you think so put him a little clothes, but why but I painted them. Yeah, I said, you

I think even though like you're skinny, but to me, you're like, you're not like crazy skinny you're like model skinny.

I've seen photos. I'm like, oh fuck, look skinny and I'm not tall, so I look taller because I'm skinny, and I have really big feet for a small pert. You've always sick too. I like rabbit feet, like the back rabbit thumber feet. That's how I looked. But there was a point in my life where I was and I'm like, I don't like my back. I feel like I have like your bad spots on its not like

I mean all the time, people probably gonna like your insecurity is about like your skin or you know you cheeth, or like were.

You teased and stuff. Yeah, like like when you're a kid and cansa shit of course you remember is sash. It's like the end of the world and bad skin, all types of shit. So all those things were things that was made for them and made aware of. And because I was made aware of made aware of them, I always like, you know, I'm judging myself. Yeah, but what she was experiencing was like, no, I never want anything extreme. I mean my obvious they can't hide roundhole body.

I look back on pictures like before having Iron, I'm like, what the fuck was I tripping about?

Why was I obsessing and thinking? Like I was insecure about my legs. I thought they were too thick. But you know, I always went to school with like such small petiitue white girls and like.

I was like a grown black woman, like in like sixth grade like juicy thing ass I was like this height. I was like five six when I was like eleven, you know, so I just was towering over everybody.

And I remember my cousin used to always be like, oh, you're so big, like or something like. I remember feeling like I'm feeling really insecure about my like just feeling giant and not like small. And I think that's kind of like.

Because I definitely felt insecure about my weight for at a very young age. I think because I started like modeling and being aware of like that.

At associating age. And then I remember the defining moment was my cousin one time she Oh my god, she was listening to this Yes you fucked me up, it's you bitch. She had like the skirt and I was like, can I try it? Not She's like, I don't think it's gonna fit. It's one size fits all.

I like your now or She's like she.

Was like, it's one size fits all, but I don't think it's gonna fit. I was like, and then it didn't fit. It was like one size it's all.

For like you know, I means, and I had the body of a woman that's just so funny.

I thought you were so excited China, because I did. My feelings are hurt, and I did try that on.

I was like, bitch, you know, I'm competitive even though my feelings are hurt.

I'm getting my I'm gonna cry after this, but I'm gonna try this ship on. Oh my god, how insensitive we are? Is a young where the fox? Does that come from? Mimicking?

I think mimicking out of.

People being evil?

Yeah, it's yeah, because she was being mean on purpose.

Like it wasn't like play at that point.

It wasn't like like when you're like fiving just sanction r you know what I mean.

My kids say the darnest thing. Teenagers are asshole the end. What else are we gonna talk?

Oh?

I mean, I don't know. I think insecurity has come from so many different places.

They can come from, like what obviously with like social media, watching other people.

They can come from like I mean, I know, for me, like caring yourself. Yeah.

I think I took a break from social media this weekend and it's started.

I took a break, I think, But I text you on Friday, I was like, I need a break.

I'm taking the weekend off and I still haven't logged into my personal one because that's the one that like.

Is like, don't get dumb. I don't know.

Why, but I think because I have to work on like work social media every day and be on there and just like consuming ours. That is just too much for me. And I love I've been nice. Getting anxiety.

I'm getting anxiety.

But yeah, you just start it's not even comparing, it's just starting judging yourself. Even that even like it is that, but it's just like just the looking at shit just gives me back.

Yeah, like why am I looking at it?

This is the third time I've seen this? Bullshit? Who is this?

I don't know it's a person?

Right?

Do you even take English? What the fuck? Yeah, it's it's ridiculous. I just find myself judging people, judging people too. You know, it's true. It's just a lot. Hence Bay we did this episode. Well you guys make them. It's look cute, you look really cute. I have like megap on from like thirty.

Fourteen hours ago, I look pretty rough, but you look beautiful too.

What about okay from Yeah, so I was reading okay, you know i's were reading the four agreements. Did you remember the part where it says it was just that book as a child, someone is her child, like a mother's child is singing, and she's really irritated. She's irritable, she's annoying. She's had a lot of shit going on that day, and she like snaps out on the kid and that's like, stop singing. You're singing is horrible, it's

Sometimes, and you know it's gonna scar their child in some way, some way, in some capacity.

I mean maybe because we're not impaccable enough with our words. We're not impeccable with our words. And I know I'm not shit, but yeah, like even me, like my mom.

One of the things that my mom said to me as a kid, and you know, I because I started like doing.

All like modeling as a kid at a young age.

I went to school with so many like white kids and just became so conscious of my like size and stuff. I remember, like I was around eleven and I like was really like I.

Was looking in the mirror and I was looking at my thighs and I was upset.

They were like running together and like I was chafing laughing, but I'm serious, wait my tea.

Yeah, and I crying to my mom and I was like, Mom, I'm fat. I don't feel pretty. I had braces at the time. I was like breaking out at acne. You know, my hair's frizzy. My mom hasn't figured that out yet, you know, like.

You were like awkward thing awkward at least, yeah, you know.

And I just like, you know, she and she was like she as a mom, wanted to help me, and so she was like she got me a meal plan, which then made me even more conscious.

Of my weight.

And then if I ate bad, she'd be like, Oka, you told me you didn't you want to lose weight, and you're eating this, and like became I.

Became like always saying that. But it would hurt me.

Even though like she was just trying.

She was coming out face of what like trying to help me, you know what I mean. But I took it.

Very personally, and I'm a sensitive being, like I might act like I'm like rough.

And tough or hard and on the surface, but I'm soup.

I can get hurt deeply like and you'll never know, you know.

It'll come out later. So like, oh my god, I was like, I'm like it just felt I don't know, it just it was my mom.

So you know, like you said, like when someone that close to you or someone that you you know you value their opinions, says something like that, maybe maybe you've already like said you're insecure about it, and they're just like acknowledged acknowledging it. For acknowledging it for the second time, it makes you feel like, oh, well, what what slood now like?

And then you never forget that. It's like just those little defining moments.

And I as a parent, I often wonder like what I mean, I have to be more mind I mean I try to be, and I will be, and I'm kind of going to continue to try to.

Be mindful of what I.

Say to my daughter and how I talk about her insecurities with.

Her or being coming a ton of talk, how you talk about her in general so that she.

Doesn't develop insecurity right, and or how I like walk her through them, you know, and out of them.

Yeah, I mean and even not just physical stuff. I think like my parents were always like you didn't try hard enough. You are trying hard if you're half asked it like are you dumb?

Are you stupid?

You're not trying hard? And I'm like, I'm making good grades, you stupid? But there was not I don't feel like I'm like I'm also supposed to be a water sign thing.

I'm also highly sensitive, but I act very tough.

It's the cancer in me, like the hardshell and like and I could say anything anybody, and I'm like, stop being so sensitive. But me, I do take things and I get really defensive. All my friends are like, you're so defensive. I was like, no, I'm just right. But I think that that defense is because I feel like I feel like my parents. I was like often attacked and not praised, like it was like an understood thing, like you know, we love you, but you need to

But it just triggered, you know, it made me.

It made me start to realize, oh shit, oh wow, you're talking to me fucking crazy, and how often, like was this a regular thing? And you know, it made me think how much did I accept in my previous relationship, you know, disrespect because you know, you're low key disrespecting the shoot out of me. And now I'm a grown woman at night and I can say, hey, my feelings are hurt or I can recognize it. But it did,

But maybe before, I mean obviously before.

There wasn't that, so they didn't have the same tools. So maybe I'm just gonna chalk it up to that, chalk it up to that since you didn't have them tools, so I'm gonna give you a pass kind of Well, I think, yeah, I think hard love also, like it's just it's a definitely like a generation like that, that generation. Yeah, And I'm kind of a hard lover because of it.

You know, Like you know, I feel like like child, he tell you I love you all.

The time, and shit, and that's not healthy. That's not healthy. And like I have to remind myself even with my kid, like you're so beautiful, you're so smart, you're intelligent.

Wow, that's amazing.

Because I'm I am, it's easier for me to be like, well, you're still a product of your parents, you know, a parent saying I'm a product the way they the way they brought you up, my childhood, my environment, parent rearing, nurture first nature. But in your childhood, Yeah, your childhood and your product of you know, the things that they taught you, the things that they normalized. And that's with anybody.

But yeah, you know, like you have to check yourself because you probably do do shit that they do. You're not even aware of it, you know what I mean? Because I know I do shit. Sometimes I'm like, oh damn, that was like my mom. I do it in relationships, you know what I mean. I do it a lot with men, and I do things that my I've seen my mom do and that she even acknowledges that maybe aren't good for her and haven't worked for her, but I've seen her do it and they become habit for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely will see the same and eyewitness a.

Very unhealthy relationship for.

Many years, Like my parents were together since my mom was fourteen, my dad was like seventeen. So honestly, in my eyes, they're like still mimic those age groups, Like they never grew, they never evolved from those, like in a relationship standpoint, they are like still very immature. And so I had to realize that in order for me

Do you have any insecurities that you just developed, you think from after having Luna, Like about anything in particular, like my body, your body, anything like anything that that you made up in your own mind that wasn't necessarily brought on to you by an outside I mean yeah, like by an outside.

Person like your.

Mom or your dad or your big daddy, or like like like my parenting.

It could be could be parenting, it could be your body. I mean for me, like I mean, of course sometimes I question my parenting. Of course. Yeah, no one really knows the right and so one person can say one thing to you. But for me, I mean physically, yeah, my stomach. Like I've said before, like I hate my stomach. I don't hate it.

I'm learning to love it. But it's definitely different than it was before.

And it's not tight like how it was. My stomach has always been something that's always been flat my whole life. I never had to worry about it. Now it's I have loose skin, it's never going to be like tight as tight as I want it. And it's something that I've had to really get get used to. It's been like I considered getting like the tummy tuck at one point and then and then I was like, yeah, girl, I even got I went, I went to get consultations,

There's like that is enough to be toughed. You don't have enough skin to be touched.

Girl.

No, see this little area that this the second it's so since second pooch here it's tiny. Yeah is that your see sections? No, it is down here. So this skin, well, it's just I mean, I know I can probably fill it in with muscles, like if I got really buff, like stretch.

Out, but I think it's time to have no apech. Okay.

So I was being lancy and I went and you know, I'm sure a lot of women can relate, but I didn't go through with it.

I didn't go through with it because I was I kept thinking, like I don't want to fucking major scar, Like am I just what if something happens. No, it wasn't like that type of ten. It was like a little it was like a mini tech Okay, but it was enough to make me feel like, oh my god, like this is I'm so insecure about this, Like I

Start cutting it up as ramost amost go, start cleaning it.

Okay, thank thank you, take it pick it up, baby, Okay, okay, thank you.

I think my breast right like as you guys all know, my breast friends for two and a half years, and I don't really hate my breast, but I do want to get them done eventually. Yeah this Your boots are like perfect perky. They are not Yeah, yeah, they're very slow. There's like a flat, flat, flat, flat flat.

Boot at the bottom, but they're still small. I mean, so yeah.

And then I also my boyfriend telling me I have those big ass nipples, sucking nipples, like baby sucking nipples.

They looks like they've been sucked heavily.

I mean, that's what just some people's nipples look like.

I thought it was rather regular myself.

But whatever, everyone has different nipples. Uh yeah, that's really I'm pretty lucky when it comes to like my body type.

I was hoping to have gained weight.

And I didn't, and I was pissed so like mostly my my breasts that changed, you know what.

I've like this week, I felt insecure about this has nothing to do physical, and I had to just like I think it was part of that whole like way I was feeling earlier. I started to feel and this sounds really terrible and I don't like I love my child and everything. I started to feel insecure about having a child and dating. Yeah, like I felt like, how do I should be doing it? Like no, like I

Someone with a child. And of course I know why that thought came into mind, and I don't I think that, but that's what I'm saying, Like, it's crazy how insecurity there's insecurities that come in to go because yeah, it wasn't like a strong.

One, but it was something that I thought about and I felt weird about for a minute and I was like, wow, my life, I like it put things. It was a defining moment where I was like, Wow, dating with the child is not the same.

It's different. It's not the same as dating with without one, and you're noticipating.

It's something you have to adjust to, and like some people adjust to it just totally normal, and I think I did adjust to it quickly, but I like, I think it's also normal to have insecurities about it too.

Fuck yeah, that was one of the first things that I like, I don't have to date and I'm don't have to tell people have the kids, which is not a problem, Like obviously I'm not gonna I don't lead with that though. When I date, when I go on I mean, I usually like they know by the end of the first date.

Yeah, but like not usually you do, like even though like.

Like on my on my dating profiles, like I don't have to show my kid, you know, I don't you know why I did it on my previous tender. I someone pushed me about that too, but I thought, like you should know now I am a mom. Let's let's lead going into it. No what it is.

So if you can't handle it, keep on keep on going.

I understand. And also like someone because I was really insecure about it too, because when you date single, you're like, I'm.

Single, I have no kids.

I'm a most valuable player, because that's that's what like you think.

Even with men, we do it. He's saying, oh he doesn't have the kids, he's never been married.

These are things that are like in our mind's perks so naturally as women especially, we think it's like a non perk when we do have kids. But you know, my friend brought to my attention is like, girl, low key. It's better because you will find men who are more serious and they're gonna be less willing to waste your time and they're like, oh, she has a kid, she's a mom. Shame play, So I kind of feel like

Most of the time.

Yeah, but but I did.

I feel I felt like, wow, like this is gonna this is harder, This is gonna be harder.

And that's also send me from your last situation and the word convenient. You aren't convenient or someone else is more convenient than you, which is code for I'm needy, and I don't understand that you're not going to always be available because you have priorities what you're your kid, which is not like I don't want that to be a priority as it should, but I can't handle it, which in my I mean, that's honest, but it's also unmature.

I don't like that I can even have those thoughts.

Yeah, And then I noticed as moms dating guys who don't have kids, I get really defensive about men who don't have kids, putting giving me input about like my mother, like oh you smell or oh she's still up, you know. After it was random guy on tender and he was like, hey, called me one night. He's like an old school guy and he's like, oh she's still up. It's ten o'clock.

And I'm like, yeah, shit happens. But like my other thing is like, look.

Yo, if you don't have me fucking kids, you'd have no clue how this shit is. Because she's a grown woman that she doesn't listen to shit. I have to say, I can't wait till you get a kid, give me a call. And yeah, it's like you're judging me, and you're probably like, oh, she doesn't.

Have her kid together, she's you know.

But there's there's all types of variations of insecurities and that comes from you so much shit, including being a mom, which I think is totally fucking sexist because I doubt very seriously. You'll hear any single dads who feel any less than the rankings because they have a kid. I mean, and if they do, it's so slight. It's so slight. I think they probably do, but it's it's definitely not a deal breaker. It's definitely heavier on the deal breaker

How do you have you ever dated an insecure guy? And how did that work out for you?

Horrible? Yeah, insecure men are the words.

Let me repea this.

An insecure man is the fucking worst, the fucking worst shit ever, the worst species of a man. It really is. It's a fucking turn off because for all, first of all, versus Burkio and cancer and we's wild. No, but I have a lot of personality. I'm not even to man horn, I'm the bomb. No, I'm a people person as fuck. And I genuinely I say this so much. I genuinely love people, like I really like to get to know different people. I really like to like talk to people.

I love people. I love how the different variations they come in.

I like talking to people, like being inspired and just getting anxiety thinking about it. So like, you know, some guys don't want you to be so hella topic I've gotten, Oh you're so friendly, which means you're kind of poochying around the room. But if you don't know, I came with you and you're not like exuding confidence and like you're doing you well, I'm doing me.

It's very annoying.

And not even just that, Like Ani who calls you constantly is the most fucking annoying shit I've ever experienced in my life. My ex could call me I kid you not. It's like seventy eight times in a row. At night, I would have like one hundred and.

Forty text messages that would be like my ex too, not my baby daddy, but the one before him, Oh my god.

Yeah. Yeah. It was just it's just it becomes a turn off, Like you don't at first, like at least for me, at first, it like was like we felt like it felt like an obsession between the both of us, and then at some point, like I think I was young too, and then.

You realized like this is this is not cure, It's not.

You just love me, Like this is fucking annoying. You're trying to like fill some void that I can't fill. My ex used to fuck me and asked me questions. Remember fucking interrogations. He would literally gas.

So tell me where you were.

I was like, I already told you you're really fucking up the sex here because I can't focus when you're asking me so many questions. But he was dead serious, and I was like, I can't believe you would fuck you and ask you question didn't he had already asked me when he like, asked you sexy, Like, I guess that was how after fifteen times.

Of it, have you fucked anybody else?

Are you?

I'm like, shut the fucking looks.

Stop?

Maybe like maybe he thought. He was like like tell me it's mine, tell me literally like just tell me just just I'm like, no, just have you ever been like actually I do to be like, yeah, no, I have, Yeah I did?

Did you? I'm like I don't know. I thought you want me to say yes because you, like I thought maybe it would turn I didn't stop. Yeah, I thought maybe it would turn you off. I thought there was a creature behind you. I'm so paranoid, you're so parsed.

But no, I can't the for me in that relationship that I was in where he was super jealous and I.

Just it just became obsessive.

I feel like when you're in a jealous relationship, it's it's it's doomed to become physical at some point. Almost if it's not like, if it's not emotionally abusive, that it's going to become physically abusive, because it leads to that.

You're right, because there's a that is so true.

I never thought, but there's a fucking thin line between you know, I'm just casually asking you some shit too, I'm I'm haggling you like it's it's it's intense because they build up this whole story in their mind of what you're doing, and then they can't be convinced otherwise.

And then and don't get me wrong, I think I've I've been insecure.

I think everyone has been insecure relationships before. I think obviously they show up in different ways. Because even when you were asking me earlier, like would you rather be in like a super like would you rather be the really super jealous guy who's insecure, or like someone who just doesn't care at all, And like, obviously I would rather be with someone who doesn't care at all because the other side of it is too much, but like

Do whatever I wanted, like no questions asked, Like, baby, I trust you and I love that show. Three years when me and Erica first started hanging out, like again, we started hanging out mostly to make the kids hang out, so we didn't have any friends with kids, and so like we just start.

Talking because what the fuck else are we gonna do? So I'm like, no, my Bavie's he's knowing as fuck. Oh he just asked me one million questions, call me one million fucking times.

She's like, really, I could leave the house naked.

And a naked could be picking me up and my baby like peace, I'll catch you later. I was like what, She's like, Yeah, it's fucking weird. Yeah, And I'm like I hadn't I couldn't even imagine it. I'm like, you're lucky. Yeah. I mean, at first it was cool, and then it.

Got to the point where like when I found out he was doing them an shit he shouldn't be doing. Then I was like, oh, that's why you don't ask me, because because you don'tant me to ask you shit.

So then I even started to girl.

I tried to get him to like, I tried to get him mad at like me and my friend devised a whole plan witch like my friend's like, oh my god, my home, but yes she was. He was like, I'm gonna call you three am. Like I'm gonna call you like four times, make sure your ringers on. And I was like okay. So he called me, and he called me and Nia did not wake up. Then finally the third time he woke up, I answered and then I was like hey.

And then like then I was like, I don't know.

We had like I got really nervous too, I got scared, and then like we had a talk and then we hung up and then Freddy was like, you're good.

Okay. I was like what the fuck. I was like, we're over.

He doesn't care, so but but so his insecurity is that he obviously needs to seek attention, but he needs attention from everyone, which is why you know, he doesn't want me asking him what he's doing because he knows he's not doing anything.

So it's just it's just interesting how insecurities show up in different ways.

Because my baby's daddy would literally it was so bad. The trust issues was so bad, Like I went out not to go places because it was just so, it was just I'd rather not deal with it. But then I would like find screenshots from bumble from fucking tender. I'm like, Yo, you're a fucking idiot. I'm like, you treat me like a child. No, oh my god. He would say when I would go out, let's be good, okay, be good, which is a trigger.

Yeah, I read that shit.

I'm not a goddamn puppy okay, and I'm not your child. What the fuck? This? Be good? Me a read a relationship or the fuck.

It's so it's like sets the tone before you walk out that door, like I'm yeah, I'm going to fuck up your night.

Now, don't be this is another quote. Oh my god, I have so many text messages. Don't be out the door. No, hoho shit.

Who oh, it's like fourteen million times. Don't get there, don't know ho shit. I'm like, what is th shit?

I'm what qualified? No, But I'm like, you keep telling me that I'm going to do the hot shit exactly because it's not like you don't try. And that's exactly what happened in.

My last relationship. He always thought I was cheating on him, that I fucking cheated on him. Yeah, they're like, you know, I ended up just cheating. I was like, I might as well be cheating because apparently I'm cheating already girl.

And then like, first of all, I was so out of the relationship and in the relationship like it was she had.

Been over a long time ago. Literally, I was probably like pregnant.

Finding and they're gonna tender and she texting bitches. I was like, you're a fucking idiot that you would give me this much stress and this much bullshit, and how my friends were like, of course he's projecting, because that's what the fuck he's doing.

So I was like, this doesn't make any sense. I'm so confused.

I'm so over it.

And it did develop.

My relationship became very hostile, very abusive and and even to the point like before it got physical, is fucking emotionally abusive, like hoh shit, you'll be like, you know what everybody's how everybody thinks that you want. It was just like trying to just strip me and luck, I mean lucky for him eventually I did. I was like numb to it, and I wouldn't like see it because I saw him as a child and like.

As my baby.

But I was just like it was over it now to this day, honestly, like it's a trigger any kind of fucking rules, any kind of fucking any insecurities, and of course we all have in securities and relationships. It's a part of like being the part to be sure that shit, I'm like, ooh, run, bitch, run, I don't have no time for this.

That's probably the point where I'm like, maybe I do, you know, open relationship because I have zero time for anyone to feel like they own me.

And I feel like I people get in relationships with people for like the same reasons they love them, They find reasons to hate.

They find reasons to hate them for.

Oh cool this, Like they may love you because you can work a room like you can debate people because you're charming, because people love you, and then for that same reason, they'll they'll fucking start meeting you and not be able to handle that and become deeply insecure, and uh, that's I will never date like that ever again.

I think it's like you have to be able to find or you you hope.

To find a balance, you know what I mean. And you know it's just everyone was going to have a little insecurity.

I know, I realized in my last dating situation that I still am not over a lot of my insecurities for my last relationship.

And you know, my.

Insecurity is in my relationship where that I just constantly felt like I had to keep my partner's attention that like I you know, then my physic then physical insecurity started to come into play because I saw the women that he was looking at on Instagram that that maybe I didn't look like at that time because I just had a baby, or even before the baby, like my like I didn't have like a like my booty.

Wasn't big enough and all these shit.

That shit that like didn't really bother me at first, but the more and more it's just the longer the relationship happened, the more in scare I got, oh for sure, And you know, I guess those are my insecurities.

I never was.

I've never been the type of girl to look through your phone. I think maybe I've done it like maybe two or three times in my life. I think also because I know I'm going to find something. You look you're gonna find. But also and I know I don't want people going through my shit because you look, you're gonna find something that might be a little inappropriate.

Doesn't mean I cheated, but or you'll you'll make it, you'll translate, you translate it that way. But I also learned dating an insecure man or being an instacure relationship period makes my pussy dry.

It makes me very drum.

But it will also start making things that are not have not been normal to you previously.

It will be tied for tat.

So I am not a look here through the phone, because I'm guaranteed I'm going to find some shit, So I look when I need the proof, not already know. But I start to be this person that I wasn't calling and then questioning because I'm trying to be spiteful and get you back, because I want you to know how fucking annoying it write that or like, see you're

So no insecure niggas.

Sure, yeah, it's it's a very big turn off.

I mean I can't say no insecure niggas.

Every person, like I say, it has insecurity, but just don't lead with it. Yeah, Like like she said, like should I like it? Going back to the person who said, who uh wrote to us and our DM, she said.

Should I lead with this insecurity when dating? Absolutely not.

Nobody wants to know your insecurities up front, Like because of course.

Everyone has their insecurities.

It's not to say to hide them, but like that's not nobody wants to hear this shit on the first day.

Oh, by the way, like cause it does come it comes off very insecure and unsure of yourself, and it doesn't come off cute, it doesn't come off like comfortable. Okay, girl, let me, oh, let me make you feel secure, at least not for me.

And maybe some man likes that. And those are the type of men that are gonna pray on you. Yeah, she has a weakness. Oh she's not.

She's not. They're already gonna pray on you. Yeah, Vagina, they're already gonna pray.

As soon as a man finds your weakness, they.

Will like exploit it like no other thing you've ever seen before.

My ex used to date like some old school Insta video.

Ho.

I wish I could say her name, but I'm not gonna give her that much of it.

Do I know? She is probably not?

How many instas are there?

Sounds familiar, sounds like thats like an Instase name whatever. But she had like a real big fake body like she's Latina. She had like long like hair. She's reminded me that you can't dress that well, you know, think boobs like her face was a very cute, but obviously, again my body is nothing like that. So I'm like, how do you like this?

Both?

Like I had found a video of him fucking and I could not get the image out of my head. I couldn't have been Oh god. And that's another thing. If I would leave, I was so this is on the other side. I was so paranoid about this nigga and we moved in together. Like any notebooks from the twelfth grade, any any anything on my computer, I was mortified to leave them because I know the nigga would just be like go through everything. Oh my god.

That's how I was like. I'd be like, oh my god, I look my computer over, but he's gonna go through my email like that was I was.

I remember being stressed out about leaving shit so many things. You know, you didn't do anything, and I'm like, did I do something? Did I list? So I was like, this is making so much anxiety, so much anxiety. I'm surprised I don't have a full fucking head of gray hair because I was. It was so anxiety, dragon girl. I couldn't like everything. I was like, if someone mentioned the wrong name from the twelfth grade bitch, I was like, don't talk about my twelfth grade boyfriend.

You know he's It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous.

Oh my god.

I think like the biggest part of like all of that is trying not to, like you said, like you get like you're triggered by that, so like sometimes you probably could be triggered by some ship that really isn't that, you know what I mean, It just reminds you of that and right, and then being able to separate those things.

And I have to be able to differentiate, like, Okay, now it's the time to be like, look, babe, due to the levels, like okay, so he gets passed levelfore it's okay to just bring it down and not acknowledge it and keep a movement. But I'm so that sounds super insecure. I'm like wanting to hit attack, attack and hit the road running because I'm a good runner. This

Okay, I.

Was like, I can steel. I was like, I can't make any questions. Am I smart?

Yeah? No?

That shit is not cute and it gets old. It's really bad.

And like you know what what what?

What term I like most like, it's the it's the the puppy syndrome. Like you can like if you get a puppy and you try and squeeze it to death, as soon as it gets way from me, it's gonna fucking jet. If you get a puppy and it's nice to it, it will always come be back for food and ship. Just like a bird, you cage it as soon as you open that gate, it's gonna hit. But if you like, let a bird roam freely, it will fly back to you every time. Because there's less there's

So I just got like a flashback.

I feel you. I feel like I feel you. What anything else about I mean, I think, so, what are you, how do you how do you deal with yours? How have you dealt with your insecurities? Or how are you dealing with your insecurities? Because obviously it's always like a kind of a work in progress. I think, I mean physically physical, like I've literally come like this is it, this is it? This is what I look like. There's I mean like I could exercise, i could eat more.

I'm talk about a vat talking about vampire a year, and then yesterday she brought it up again.

I was like, bitch, when are you getting it?

It's like eight hundred dollars, so no time soon.

I was like, do you give me to buy your face because I until the ships on group on bitch, I ain't getting enough to over bitch or no, is it like Booker?

Oh yeah, because you told me it was another one and that's the lot Okay.

But mostly the other insecurities that I'm trying to work on are having flashbacks, like of comparing myself to other women because you ain't shit and and because that's.

Unnecessary and it's it's it's mental.

And even just like being defensive getting flashbacks, I'm trying to run every time someone like remotely reprimands me getting jealous, you know, just like I just have to like think to myself, like is it really that serious?

And bitch, you need to stop myself.

Bitch relax And you're not gonna have big sick size and a fake ass or big tips.

That's not your body type. Get over it. Who because who's into skinny women? It's going to be into me, you know. But if they ain't they and men can have many types.

You know. You can like Erica and you can like me, and you can like Betty for next door, you know. So I mean it's just mostly like self love, I think, and like constantly reminding myself like I'm good as I am and things that I'm you know, and not being defensive and taking oh again, the four agreements, not taking things personal.

That's you.

It's another part of the book specifically, it says, even if somebody calls you fat, it's not you. They're projecting on you. They're trying to make you feel bad. And if you let them make you feel bad, you're agreeing to those terms, and I'm just like, I'm not going to agree to that. You want to see what everyone about me cool, I'm not agreeing to it. I'm not taking it personal. That's you the fact that you feel

Yeah, how about you, that's a big one.

I mean, because I do take things personally all the time. I think I'm still figuring that that out. I think some things I've been able to work through and just talk myself through. Some things I've just cut out. Like if you start making me feel this way like m I'm just gonna cut you. And maybe that's not the best Maybe that's not the best practice because maybe I'm not fully facing it and dealing with it.

But sometimes I'm just like, you don't want to date anybody who's bringing out like negative things or making you second guess yourself. That's not a relation.

Why it just feels like this is not serving me.

And I don't mean that in a selfish way, but I do in a selfish way.

And she'd be.

I think I think physically that my physical things. It's a work in progress, you know. I mean I went to therapy not just for physical insecurity, it's just for like life shit. But it's something we've talked about, and you know, she's at first she would tell me like, okay, touch your body and look in the mirror and talk to your body.

And she made me do it in front of her, and I was like, this is so funny, weird. No, no, I'm just gonna first because imagine you're looking yourself in the mirror and talk to your talk to yourself, And isn't it hard. It's so weird. It's so weird being with her doing it. And then it was even almost weirder by myself because what's making you do it?

Yeah, and are things that like to praise yourself aloud?

So is weird.

And she's like, you fucking talk shit to yourself all mother fucking day your head, So like what's the different. Just humor yourself and talk some good ship and maybe you'll believe it because you believe all those shit that isn't true, you know, And like I know that that's true.

But then but then I think that too.

I try to and I have, I mean, I try.

To have to figure out different angles to embrace it more. And that's one of the ones that I feel like has been the strongest. Made me feel the strongest, is that like, no, this is like the house of life and there ain't no comparing.

You know, you know so, and you know also like and I stop in my.

Whole game, so I never stopped. I never stopped it. So I'm gonna try that.

But I'm gonna try looking at myself and make in the mirror and like talking positively. Yeah, like she was like you tout your thighs and be like, I love my thighs. They're soft, they're strong, they walk like they get me places like but you know, yeah, like one's legs walk. Yeah, you be grateful. Yeah, just like I'm sexy, like and just keep saying I'm sexy. I love this body. It's sexy and sexy and it feels weird as fuck, but until it doesn't feel weird doing but who cares?

Sometimes I feel like I'm failing it most of the time, but I'm trying.

I'm trying. There's a there'd be ship you have never noticed your whole thirty or however many years of life and someone else will brings some.

Shady be like are you fucked? No, I don't think about that.

She too weird my shoulder? I have you got a beard?

Bitch?

Like oh number seventy to So I was gonna be something that somebody doesn't like. So love your whole self period. So we have a hory and is a continuation of our guest of our our mur DM listener because after we spoke to her on Instagram DM FaceTime, she apparently she was on the way to see her a guy. Yeah, because we encourage her, We're like, girl today, try to go worse. Just try to wear sandals.

Just try to wear something where your toes are shown, and just like go.

Out the house.

So she messaged us and she said, and it's a horri because it's kind of a horror story, like not like not good like scary, like scary hole horror, horror, not horror, it's horror horror.

More, this is very scarien like h O R R O R.

To clarify, Okay, okay, good day girls.

I went over there in my slides, I had on socks, but I didn't let the feet bother me. And when he's and when he went in for the oral sex, I let him slide my likings right off along with my socks. Now that's progress.

Sucks all calves. Exclamation mark, exclamation.

Mark, Thank you so much.

Now, had I known his oral and dick gang was so whack, I wouldn't have spent a second on that mental strain about my feet.

How does the six three foot man have a little dick?

And how do you get to be forty one and don't know how to eat the cooch?

Girl? That is a horror story.

That's I've been in. That horror story I've been in.

That is that a two I've been in that one, okay, and it's what the fucking fuck? I remember the discovery of why are you sixty? This little ass stick? So to say, the least stereotypes are like fake and you know that's probably insecurity of his and if it was, then nigga, you better know how to eat the Cohi, you better love, you better love be prime time top notnch cushy. Ear.

Yeah.

So if you're a guy listening and you know we can't all help, but begin, like I said, this is the body I got. Let's not you know, some guys, it doesn't matter. It's the emotion of the ocean, not the size that matters. And it's true, and it's also the works of your mouth more specifically, it does. There is a whole species, let me just be clear, a big, tall, burly men with little dicks.

Okay, shack, oh shack.

I mean I don't know that personally. Everybody everybody she carean Stefan.

Anyway knows her.

Can you call us?

I would really like to talk to you. But but yeah, it's a whole species, this epidemic.

And I'm a lot of black men too, So don't get a twists black guys have small dicks too, sure, and white guys have big dicks, and you know it goes a lot of whites. I don't have a lot of experience in any other ones outside and oh there's also species of short man with big penis with safe piances and that is more like a win.

Like you open up a small treasure, you're like, ah, it's a million dollars.

I did not there was a corner. That's a nice one, but forty one and not knowing how to give head concerns me. That is no bueno, sir, What the fuck that is? And if you're like a girl man, if you're like over twenty five and you're like not one thousand percent sure about your head game, you need to practice. You absolutely need to watch some videos or like take a grapefruit and practice on orange, whatever you need to do.

Yeah yeah, and listen to next week's episode. You definitely don't want to miss next week's episode. We have a specially.

Two amazing guests on who are going to educate us on everything sex. Yeah, and so much fact, so much more.

You can get some tips. Oh yeah, you will benefit. You will be tipped out, tipped.

Out, and you might want to tune in. I'm just gonna leave it there. I wanna leave it there because can you. Yeah, I mean, I'm at thirty. I know my oral all my sex skills are strong. I don't even guess. I mean, I can always grow, but yeah, but I'm confident. I'm confident too.

I'm very confident, almost too confident.

It's like, oh, what's you? What are you good at?

Well?

Have you heard as a backworld's cowgirl? I'm I'm just tony kind of, but mostly I'm telling the truth.

No, Oh my god.

Well, anyway, thanks for tuning in to our Insecure episode.

Thank you for your your submission. You're asking for advice and following through with it. It's step one. You're making progress, girl, And let's everybody talk to ourselves in the mirror tonight, and you know, tell our body how healthy and beautiful and sexy it is. It is, because it is, and maybe even masturbate do it.

I've been trying to encourage Jamila to masturbate more, and I try, but then I feel like I like I've come prematurely, like I'm embarrassed, I feel like I have some issues. Well, you just gotta keep doing it. It means you're feeling yourself. You come and prematurely, shit, you turn yourself all the way on real, real quick. It's it's not like that kind of premature. It's like I'm like almost gonna come, but then you have to relax.

Yeah, I just have to give in.

And actually, honestly, I've had some of the best orgasms by myself.

I can't believe I'm thirty, the biggest ones. But really, are you like, because I'm sorry, are you inserting? Are you just clatural stimulation?

Both?

Really, it could be either one. Mostly it has to be. It either has to be clatural and internal or just clatural. It's usually nice. Just only just internal is when I actually have a real penis inside of me, right, and it's like, you know, the warmth and it's the whole deal.

Okay, well I need to work on it.

Yeah, but if you don't feel like masturbating, just touch your body and tell it nice things, embrace it and love it, and it's gonna feel weird, but fuck it.

Who cares even tell your face nice things too. So everything you're so, you're so your spirit.

Yeah, because that's that's difficult too.

Sometimes sometimes I'm like in the mirror, I'm trying to tell informations because I know I'm supposed to.

I don't believe them. Then I don't know what to say. I'm like, what else? You're smart, you're nice, You're bound.

I should have wrote this down.

Okay, well like you said.

It next week, we love you, all right, I'm just playing.

I remember when I used to have a crush you on special led shout out designer, because you made it down a special lead. You want to fuck me and you gotta get some special headed because this pussy had these niggas on some special.

Meds, like Mike Tyson.

He was biking my ship talking about Yo, why you got these niggas biking this ship on the rail. Lets you make these niggas scrap for the pussy young and man, lady luck get the strap of this pussy. And now what the hell of Bell Beckel bringing the cake till I saw him hopping out of cars dancing the drake. I've been a five star bitch man. Word to Gotti I'm gonna do that nigga future dirty work to Scotti had to cancel.

DJ called, boy, we ain't speaking.

Ain't no fat nigga telling me what he ain't eating.

White g in the game with.

The hem of yelling gang gang the same what I meant when I said a gang bang takashi want to Menaja said, Grayway cursed him and went to kimm KHN Gateway and Captain Bobby dream House. Then you can play the park. I ain't trying to bust it open in the trailer park. I'm just playing.

I'm just playing