I Said No MotherFucker

We walked along the beach. What a moment. Now he has my head is he kissed me. I want to spend my luck with you. I want you for my just been at the time, she said, not what you want me.

Welcome back to Good Mops, Bad Choices, Episode thirty.

Hey we made it. It's thirty, dirty flirty, thirty, thirty and thirty. We're thirty. We're podcasting and doing things. It's episode thirty.

That could be.

That could be our new intro music something like that. We need to intro.

So I know, because technically.

I have no idea. I do not know what we speak of. Maybe not admit to mindous. You said you own know you bought it.

I do, so it's yours. Anyway, they're stoned again. So we're recording this episode a little early because we are going out of town and stuff and so apologies if we're dated.

Oh, we're gonna be a little dated.

But because by the time this airs, we're gonna know if Brett Kavanall is honest.

Yeah, I know the US Supreme Court, what do you what do you guess? Yes? That isn't Yeah, yeah, I agree, yeah, yeah.

I'm for stopping these white people First of all, Clarience got gone on black ass.

They are definitely don't give a fuck. How many pussies? What's Clarence Claires? What's the face? He's in the clear. He's good. I mean it's not good. He's terrible.

But I just know they're not going to recognize it as anything, as an injustice, and they're rarely like believing r now, So I know, hopefully if we're wrong, especially because that means who knows what he's what is he going to do once he gets on the Supreme Court?

I mean overturned row versus way do a bunch of things for the immigration. So I don't know who knows, who knows? Maybe he'll surprise us, I don't know. All I know is when I saw his little screaming face getting all rouled up, something in me told.

Me he did. My psychic intuition said he's guilty. Yeah.

I just think that, uh so many women gits abused, Like of all my friends, I can think of, like off top, like eight people have experienced in some form of fashion, some inappropriatingness from a guy, and you kind of like brush it off because that's what guys do.

That's how men act like fucking savages. But that's just not true, and that's unacceptable. No, it's not. But it's even like when I was.

Because so, guys, we're obviously talking about the sexual assault case of accusations against Brett Kavanaugh, who is up for to be Supreme Court justice, which is a lifelong appointment, and he is being accused by three women of sexual assault.

One of which that happened in two in high school and one in college.

Yeah. I don't no, one in high school, two in college. And I don't know if that's the main reason people are dismissing it or just general people dismiss stuff like this.

And she took a polygraph test that came out that she was not being dishonest, but they rejected it.

They rejected it, and she also gave the notes. She gave permission to her therapist to release her notes, which she talked about this incident back in twenty twelve with her therapist.

So I don't know, I don't know.

Yeah, it looks like you no, no, no. All In all, though we wanted to talk this along with Bilkosby's recent sentence, we wanted to talk about sexualbse.

Yeah, it's a serious topic, and it's something that I think so many women feel uncomfortable about talking about, or some women don't even realize they've experienced it, right, you know what I mean, because you start to put the blame on yourself, like, oh, I asked for this, or.

I like a real disease.

You know we're here now, so now I have to right, No, I don't want to see your penis. You know, these are all in some form refreshing ways. You know, people overset their boundaries.

Right, Never have I been like you will, look at this pussy, look at this?

Right?

Can you look at this? Can you imagine? No, I'm not going anywhere. Come on, I'm not going anywhere, like please come on, I mean not.

So it's like demean men because I know men get sexually assaulted as well, which I know it's not funny.

I know it's not funny. The sad part is men. All the guys I know that have been like molested. It's always I'm talking about men, like about well, you know, I know one guy I dated, he was molested for a long period time by his mother's boyfriend. That was a real place in molistation, but a lot of times I've talked to guys and I'm like, how over.

You when you not share your virginity?

They're like twelve, eleven, thirteen, I'm like, how old was the person who It's always an older woman or an older person at least a king who knows what they're doing.

And I'm always like, yo, that's not funny. You got fucking rate.

That's the lessation that is very disgusting. Even I for like seven, and I'm like, that's not cool.

It's so true. It's so true, Like they don't mean.

Multiple guys that have told me that they lost a virginity to like a much older, like a baby person, but they don't even view it as they're not when they're telling me. They're not telling me because they think they've been sexually assaulted. They're either like girl almost bragging about it.

Yeah.

I thought if you guys be like, yeah, you know, I lost my virginity, it's like twenty year old. I was like thirteen.

I was like, that's that's rape, that's yeah, or like a seventeen year old and I was twelve, Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like the babysitter.

Yeah, I've heard crazy shit and it's like, yeah, dude, that that's you might need to heal from that.

Yeah. Yeah.

Also a big thing about like experience something experiencing something like that when you're younger is sometimes you.

You like you numb it out, like the trauma is so great that like your body makes it you think it's a dream or like they suppressed the memory because it's too traumatic to relive and you feel gale and you don't know how to communicate it.

Yeah, seriously, I mean, I mean, I know, like I know, maybe not cases of sexual assault for me, but I've definitely like had moments of like where like something has triggered a memory for me where I'm like, oh my god, is that And I'll be confused like was that a dream or was.

That all right? My tripmen? Right real? I'm like, oh no, that was that was real?

And like when that happens, it's just like you still don't because like even when I think about stuff like a memory that I have that I like I can't remember, I'm still not sure like what is real about it?

And what is it not? Right? Yeah?

And because you're thinking about it, are you what is fabricated or what is memory?

Okay?

So I have my friend this topic came up with was talking to my friend on the phone tonight and she was saying that she when she was like little, like six five or six, she always wear of her neighbor's house. There was two little girls over there, but she never like she was always asking them and your dad's going to be home? Is your dad going to be home? And even her mom thought that was weird. Even if their mom thought it was weird, Like why do you keep asking that? She said, I don't know.

So she said she.

Later started having this dream that he'd come in the room and touch her because she was sleeping in the guest room, and her body would is like tense up and get really stiff.

This is the dream she's having.

But later in like when she was eighteen, she took a psychology class and they were talking about how as children we make things into dreams because we can't process the trauma. And at that moment she realized that shit wasn't a dream. This was what really happened, and her body she was just thinking it was a dream. She's like, I've never had that dream when I was at my house, only when I was there, So that's one way you know, like people are like subconsciously don't even realize these abuses

He was older than me. I was probably like three or four, honestly, and he was he was older.

Maybe I don't know how much older, but like a teenager or I can't really really it matters.

No, it's maybe like eleven or ten or something. I mean, that's pretty much's a lot older. Yeah, maybe it was nine or something. Matter he's three or four. I don't think I was like traumatized by it.

But what did he do, like to like go in my pants and try to touch my pet?

You know? Then I get confused because I mean I think a boy. It depends on how age he was. But a boy at a certain age doesn't even know, like they're both right, right, I'm not, But at the same time, if he was at that age, he should know. And that's even a big of a problem with parents. Aren't teaching the kids like you don't do that, you don't touch anybody.

Yeah, but I remember mom telling me, like, always in the bathroom, someone tends to hear you tell me. And I told her, and I like, I don't really remember happen with that. My grandmother must have said something to them. But at sixteen, I was like, am I tripping? So I asked my parents do you remember?

Like it came out. I was like, do you remember? He's like, they asked me, do you remember that? And I was like, yeah, I do. I don't think I'm traumatized or anything by it.

But the crazy part is is that had I not drove past that house at that moment, and I may not have.

Ever really remembered that.

Not really huge deal or anything, but just how your mind can be so tricky. Even I have a cousin and recently she's thirty two, and she was she smelled the scent and it started triggering these really dark memories of being like raped by a relative when she was like six years old, and then she started to play out other things in her mind where she was like she she she associated that with like with like, like like sex with love.

So she tried to make her brother touch her.

She tried to touch other people because even as a child, she she didn't understand.

She didn't.

You can't fully comprehend that. And it was someone she loved and a door.

Yeah, she thought he was like giving her like affection appropriate effects, right, but six years old, raping a six year old?

And the fourth the crazy thing is is that thirty in a growing up this is my close cousin. She was troubled, She got kicked out of schools a lot, she was she was angry. I'm we humped like and she even had asked him like me and me and her oh no, But I'm just saying, you know, she was hyper sexual, but she did never even understood why until she smelled this sense and it triggered all of these memories. And I'm like, fuck, can you imagine at thirty two years old suddenly.

Everything you're like, oh oh yeah.

And even she apologized to me about like things like when we're kids.

I was like, we're both kids, Like we don't fucking know.

She's like, no, it was wrong And I didn't even know, and obviously didn't know your drinking. But a lot of times that behavior stems from some where you learn that behavior from. But I'm just like I've always thought, like I'm a I know, I'm a very sexual person, hypersexual, and I'm probably that's probably like one of my vices.

I think also like you might just be sexual. Yeah, but I mean, I'm just trying to find like a good reason. But I think, but I mean, there are things that come up, you know, that can trigger you or influence you know, your level of importance on things, whether it's sex or whatever.

It is, right, you know what I mean.

How we view sex, how we how we go about getting sex, like the kind of sex we like, right, you know, And that's another thing I talked about my weird porn fantasies wait, what were they?

It's always like older, like being take advantage of. But I'm like, oh yeah, what's wrong with me?

Or maybe this is just my season right now when I'm meanto is that in a recent thing or it's more recent like the last year or two.

I like bondage, So what does that say? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think. I don't know if does have any correlation. Like to be tied up.

I mean I like to watch it, and no one ever does it, even I've asked multiple people to kiss pissed I am how.

Many times I gotta tell the nick of time me up? Isn't that a fantasy? Is it just my fantasy?

Oh?

You don't get anything out of it, so therefore it doesn't that okay? You would have well, I guess I think. Also I'm always afraid like someone's gonna judge me because of my fantasies.

And then some people are scared to like tie a bitch up. Clearly, clearly I asked my ex to do this for like seven years. I would want to be tied up and gagged a little.

Yeah, just like tease me, show me your skills.

I've been tied up and gagged and I was hot, hot, hot. I really like to fulfill fantasies to the off topic, which maybe not off topic because maybe why do I like to know? Because I'm sexual to it, which is totally natural.

But this also goes back to like why as women we have to even question our sexuality?

Did something happened to me and I oversexed? Because men just fuck all day and it's all They're not wondering. No one's asking them, Oh, they must have been raped? Were you molested? That's why you like to fuck so much?

Right? But yeah, but we do experience more trauma than men.

I think women experience more trauma than men on a daily basis, between getting cat called all day long to just like just just being demeaned all the time.

Absolutely, even as questioning our five percent more than the next bitch sexuality goes to show that, like, as women were just held to a completely different accountability when we're when something happens to us and we're raped and we're fucking, you know, like the victim is like what was she wearing? You know, what was her sexual history? What like what did she do to get to deserve this? And I think in even some one state, there's.

Like a point.

There's like a point of entry, like once the dick is in this reagina, then like even if you say no, you can't count at as rape. There's like a specific amount like point in which they dictate no, no, it is rape or you must continue, which is even quay.

So if it's all the way in, then they can't corry rape.

I just I just yeah, that's the funck. Who's there and how would they know? How who's there to measure?

Like I guess just hearsay, But I'm just saying that's an actual lot I read it.

Okay, so don't know that's insane. I mean I don't put it past America, Okay, well right, I mean obviously past America. That's crazy.

I mean even just.

Super low minimal charges to pedophile, to fucking rapist, all these like it's just like, oh, bad boy, Johnny.

You know, it's just not eagle. No, it's crazy.

And I mean we'll probably never really know if what happened, you know what I mean with within this case in particular with Brett Kavanaugh or you know, clearly it didn't matter with Clarence Thomas. But that's what's so sad like too. You know, like this this woman doesn't have anything to gain from this. If anything, she's going to she's giving away a part of her life, you know what I mean, Like people are she's she had to move because she was getting death threats from people who support him.

H Like, you know, her job, her job probably you know, she probably compromised everything and compromise everything because but she's the victim, and she's the victim.

Yeah, it's it's she's like a doctor's and she's just like she's super educating college.

Yeah, the doctor of psychology. She I think palout, she's a professor pado out. So I can't remember what college.

At the hearing, the woman on the board or whatever said, how do you know it was him? And she was like just like how I know I'm here right now, I'm talking to you.

And then she broke me down, way down. She was like, the hippocampus sends.

A sense a vibration to the I was like, oh, but she told.

I was like, oh, she just told you how the brain work works. Take notes? What No, you had enough fish sheets? Did you eat your pasta? Oh? Yeah, she has some more. She eat some of Luna's fish sheets. Damn god, I want something fishies. I want donuts? Oh? Should we get I don't know what? What do they call it? All the Krispy Kreme? Why do they close donuts up so early? Don't they know? People? Hi? People want donuts? Oh my god, we should open a late night do That would be amazing. You know what I

I wanted to open a delivery ice cream service where someone walks around like you don't how like they have the Mexicans, like the Mexican Like you want a donut car, yeah, like have the little cards and like yeah so I or like you know, they serve like the Mango and the bomb. But you would travel around downtown. It was specifically for downtown donuts.

Ice cream. Oh if they travel.

Around with ice cream and they scoop it at your door, doorfront ice cream.

This is your idea, This is my idea. It's a genius. It's genius.

I would I mean, I'm very similar to very so much an ice cream truck, except in downtown.

People want door to door service at a moment. We live in it.

We live in a town where we want. We have Postmates to go fucking grocery shopping for us. I'm really sorry we got high before this episode. Okay, our tangents on donuts and ice cream trucks and fissiness ideas are horrible.

First of all, it is nine thirty eight. Where the fuck are we going to get some donuts from? I don't know, I was freaking.

I just thought of it.

Yeah, we must make them. No I can't. No, no, it was your idea. No, no, I'm bad. It's a bad idea.

Anyway, back on dry background dry. Yeah, So I was actually when I when we were talking, we were talking about this topic, I was trying to.

Remember.

I don't have any specific memories of being molested when I was a child. I know, like my mom taught me very early too, like his name would to my mom's super paranoid about it.

Like I remember having like a rash on my vagina when.

I was like seven or like six, and I'm will be like, who touched you? Who tell me what's going on? Who's touching you? And I was like no, and there really was no one. I think it was like the soap was like irritating me. But definitely later on, Like I was telling to me, like I have this one incident and I'm like actually embarrassed even share it, Like I've never really shared this story with many people at all because I felt so gross and I felt like it was my fault.

Like I like I felt like a hoe, you know what I mean. I felt like a whore.

And he knew he was making me feel that way, so that he knew I wasn't gonna tell anyone.

He's just manipulating. Yeah.

So basically, like when I was like twenty or nineteen, I really wanted to sing, Like I was really like wanted to have this career in singing.

I was writing a lot.

I was interning at Geffen Records and Interscope, and there was this guy there and he was an A and R there and he befriended.

Me and you know, found out I wanted to sing.

He had a little crush on me, and I knew, but I was like whatever, you know, we're cool. And then he started inviting me to the studio. He was like, you should come to the studio. I was like, oh, ship, Like the I want at the studio, like I want to play all the heat that I had in my gard how and I went bay, this is my favorite one, bitch. So I played mysel my stuff and.

He was, yeah, you need know you need more production.

You need like let me help you, let some producers writers, you know, la la la la la.

So I'm like, oh my God, like he really wants to help me. Blah blah blah.

So we go into the studio a few times and we do like maybe like we like start.

Things, don't finish them.

You know. I'm really like focused, like trying to like show him that I'm like serious about this, you know.

I think, like I don't know.

How many times I went to the studio and this happened. But one night we were there and I remember like there was somebody there. The sound engineer guy was there and he was also there was like all this. So this guy was like helping me with vocals or something, and we're doing the song it was going to and then he was like, Eric could come in the back, come back in the back and talk to me. And I was like okay, and I thought it was weird, but I was like what e's And so we went

Gol like da da da da da. Like he was asking all these questions. I thought like he was really interested in my story.

And then he was like no, but like what are you willing to do to like have a career?

And I didn't understand.

I was still like trying to tell him, like everything I was willing to do vocal and he was like well, and then he used a refereuse a reference of an artist her name is Nicole Shu's and gir pussy Cat Dolls, and.

He was like she was willing to do whatever it took. Oh my god, what a piece of shit guy.

And then what are you willing to do? And he just kept like positioning did say what she did? Yeah, basically said that she slept with Jimmy I mean to get her to get her to get her on the pussy at Dolls, which is probably bullshit. Maybe she did who knows, but she's actually really talented and beautiful.

We fucking saw the very first reality competition she was on.

Yeah, oh my god, that made that made the pussy Cat Dolls? What the fuck was it called?

She was on?

To show you?

Before that, I think, yeah, yeah, that one bitch was working either way, but anyway, So basically, he just like kept pressuring me, and like.

Finally I understood what he was saying, and I was just.

Like oh, and he was like, yeah, you know, you might have to do some things.

And I was like I don't know.

It's like, well, you're not serious, Like you're not really serious about this then, And I was just at that point in my life. That's why I was so like, I felt so shamed because I was like, am I this week? Am I this desperate? And I said okay, And we went to this hotel, this cheap ass hotel, and I just remember him getting taking his clothes off and he was just like overweight, hairy, shame on, older, much older than me too, he was probably like forty two,

And then after that second time, I like, I was I never I couldn't even talk to him anymore.

I was like, I can't even and so I just I blamed myself for that and because I felt like.

Okay, you're not You're not a child.

You are the fucking thing is like nineteen twenty years Oh, I know, I know, I just I don't even feel like an adult right now.

No. And he prayed on me, He prayed on he prayed on.

All my shit, you know I do. I mean at that point in my life too, like I did, I was always seeking male attention and male validation, and I felt at that time that I didn't feel powerful. I felt like men were in better positions to help me to.

Do and he used his position to manipulate you and a lot of twenty year olds a lot of I felt that. I felt like, like I don't want to say weak, but like there's so many times I wasn't like, get the fuck off me, I'm ready to go where.

Now you know what I'm saying, Like you were like, I'm not, I'm a fucking with you. Also, there's a confidence. I don't know why is.

That, but I also think, now i'm thinking about it, is that I also felt like, because of my issues and insecurities and my needs for male validation normally for male botchers, that I actually want to fuck.

But the fact that I.

Knew he wanted me, and I knew he thought I was so beautiful, Like there was something about that that I was like, fine, I'll let you have this.

Oh my god, that's weird that you said that, because I.

Can relate to that, and I don't think i've ever noticed that that feeling or thought in that moment until you've saying it. Now, like some strange, some strange satisfaction.

That you have.

You feel like you're in control, but you're not you're not because you're actually getting like taken advantage of.

You're almost aware of it. You're using your like oh yeah, like it's me, yeah, to like downplay.

I don't know how to describe what that is, but I'm sure some of the people are listening.

Maybe you can relate to that. But or is that like to make yourself not feel I think too, maybe, But I don't know what it was. It was such a fucked up feeling.

And it wasn't until like probably.

Like a year or two later that I realized like I was taken advantage of.

And and I realized that when I ran into him at a party like two years later, and I saw him, and I was like paralyzed, and like I felt like trauma, trauma, and I didn't want to I wanted to leave, and I didn't wanted to see me, and like I was trying to like avoid him at all costs, and like we didn't talk. I know he saw me, but I just was like he knew too. He knew because he didn't even tried to come.

Over there and talk to me. Yeah.

And usually if you're all give with somebody, you leave someone good, you know what I mean.

Yeah, you don't have no guilt, Yeah, but I couldn't.

Like it's just it's one of those incidents like you just feel so like I felt shamed. I still feel ashamed, you know what I mean to talk about it because I know the woman that I am, and I know who I am now, and I know like even then, I knew I was capable of like come on, like I think back on that moment, America.

Come on, like, yeah, me, I even had a conversation.

I've done a lot of stupid, stupid shit, and it's a lot of it was like when being manipulated, not being like it just feeling strong, not feeling strong enough, not feeling strong enough.

Honestly, that's really it.

And it's like crazy that something still like your your body and like you're uncomfort your discomfort wouldn't be enough at any age to just be like nah, like well, I don't know that is tippy, Like why does it take thirty years for me twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty seven years to just be like no, like you don't mean like have confidence enough to.

I don't know. I think that's crazy. I think what are we not telling our.

Girls that it's that first of all men think it's okay because how many times also have you even like in high school or whatever, college shit last week, if you like, someone's trying you and trying you and trying you and trying you and trying and you're like no, no, no, no.

No stop stop.

They keeps rubbing on your back, fucking keeps rubbing and keeps touching you and try and try and touch you for trying, try and trying, try and.

Be like no no, no, no, no, no no.

And at some point you're like, fucking yeah, and it's definitely happened to me.

And I'm like, even that is like, no, dude, no, do you.

Lack that much self control? But even that is a violation of your you know, well, I feel like.

The word no has been changed so many times, you know what I mean? I feel like no can Sometimes it just feels like, oh, this is what she wants.

She's trying to like.

She's trying to let a hundred know, she's trying to like make beg for it, you know what I mean, She's trying to make me beg for it. Or you know, they just don't know turns them on because they you know, they want to convince you, and they want to show you their dick or whatever that they can do it, and like you're gonna like this.

Dick, you know what I mean? Dude, when I have a son, we don't play those type of games. It's just no turn turnover, leave immediately. Yeah, like that's yeah.

Like first of all, you don't need any you don't need no pussy that bad. And second you're a girl, like you're a respectful, self controlled.

Man and no it means no. And you have a mother and aunts and sisters.

I mean, you're all messages that like boys need to know because what.

In the fuck I mean even just like not even like like yeah the no, no, no, no, no of course, but like then there's moments where like you're having sex, you you initiates, maybe you initiated sex, okay, and then you start having sex and then you have sex and then you're like, wait, I don't really want to do this, but you just let it happen because it's easier. It's like you don't want embarrass them, you don't want to make it a thing, you don't want to be you

Fuck it, get off, thank you, have a good day, like or we could just chill again, you know what I mean.

You have no idea how many times I've been situations like that.

Yeah, me too, And just like.

And I can count on one hand how many times I've said get off, Yeah, I'm good. I've maybe, like I don't know how like probably twice. Yeah, out of all the times that I was like, I'm not really into this, right, even like having sex with like an ex boyfriend, you.

Know, yeah, I'm even having sex.

And and that's even more confusing because you're like, this is my boyfriend. We do this all the time. It's not like this is the first time. But like I don't want to have sex.

You know what I mean.

And that's happened to me, and I'm in a relationship and we're in an argument, and in my mind, I was like, this is weird, Like in my like I felt weird even repeating it to someone else, because like, this doesn't even sound doesn't even sound right. But if I fucking say no at any point in a relationship, married whatever, no, no, no, right, yeah, women definitely get brushed under the rug. I think that's why a lot

Yeah, I mean, I just I think about, like, okay, how do I and because society, you can you can only teach your kids so much, you know what I mean, because society also influences all these thoughts too, like what do I need to teach Iri to be strong enough to like, first of all, well, we need to be able to talk about sex with.

Our kids, openly, openly about.

It and not like just avoid the subject so they can kind of figure out limits on their own, you know what I mean, Like we have to discuss it with them, because I mean, it wasn't discussed with me.

I mean obviously my mom was like, no.

One talks to your touches, your vagina, but she wasn't like, and you know what, I guess that if you're having sex and you don't want to have sex, you can say no, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, like when she found out I had These are things like when you find out your child still starting to have sex. These are the conversations you need to have with them, as uncomfortable as they probably are, they need to.

Hear you didn't do it so much that they get comfortable. That's how I feel like we should have such an open dialogue. I mean, I know everything doesn't happened, how you whatever, but yeah, like this is going to be something we've discussed from like eleven on, because these are not to encourage it, but like you have the power.

Yeah, yeah, it's true, because how do you prevent that?

Like just oh my god, it's so scary, it's terrifying.

Even oh yeah, even to like we were both discussing. Like when I was like fifteen sixteen, there was a dude who knew how old we were, took us to the club, got me shit face drunk, like super drunk, to the point right black dot.

I thought that I thought you slipped something in my drink, but like I know, I just block up when.

I drink a lot of drink a lot, or maybe he did, I don't fucking know. I was sixteen years old, but like he was, he had to be shit in his thirties and who the fuck wants to hang out with the bitch in high school? And literally like who wants to fuck with like Loki pasted out bitch because like if I.

Don't remember, you know what I mean? And because it's a whole Yeah, it's just immediate.

Well maybe it is like that too, people like that, and so later we stay friends up until recently. And his girlfriend now was like twenty nineteen twenty when you met here, dumb and also like he would tell me that he likes like teen porn and now like I didn't want to like.

But I'm like, oh, this is your thing. People prey on easily.

They don't want to deal with women because they know they're not up to par for like girl woman, So they actually prey on like young.

Yeah, women that are just learning about sex and what's normal, what's normal for sex and what isn't and they normalize a normal behavior right early.

Yeah.

Yeah, So there's just so many, so many levels to it, I know, And it's crazy because ninety percent of the time statistically it's someone that you know.

Yeah, that's why you have to be careful, Like with family with you know, even when we had that talk with Jessica when she came on and she was talking about like talking about sex with your kids, like and she I remember she talked about that percent usually someone within your family like that, even.

Aunts and uncles, they shouldn't be changing your kid. You just don't know. You just never know.

And I was like, and at first I was like, well, I don't want to live in a world where like I just think I'm accused, Like I always think someone is going to be harmicy.

But to eliminate it by only you the only deals that you and the dad, Yeah, eliminated And then like, yeah, your parents they raise you, how the unlikely but didn't. She also tell us about a case where the grandpa was touching the little boy mm hmm, and he was like, in diapers.

That's crazy.

So it's just yeah, and also go with your gut, because how do you feel like a lot of times, dude, it's in your gut, like you know, if something feels off, you know, something feels like comfortable and anything. If you don't know, you have that thought even one time, trust it. Don't take any chances with your fucking kids.

That's crazy.

It scares me.

Of course, of course it's scary. I mean, you know what. Also, though I think I talked about this too, it's like I feel like.

I feel like the like the because of the situation that I went through with my baby daddy and him being falsely accused of rape, like my perspective change. Like I've talked about this before, like he was a false accused of rape and the woman was lying.

You know what I mean.

And it's like when those situations happen, it gives ammunition to people like President Trump or like you know, these people that don't want to believe women, you know what I mean.

And it shouldn't take like just.

A couple of liars, but like, see, you're all lying, you're all fabricating the truth.

No, but because of that, that's where that that's where, that's where it's where the seed is grown out of you.

Like I can't even believe that president our president. I can't. I can't even call him President Trump, but he is our president.

Unfortunately, he has spoken out about the situation and saying like, oh, like all these lies and all of this and all of that and everything is created by the Democrats, and like all these got dam accusations ain't all lies.

Bruh.

It's like saying Bill Cosby, Uh, Bill Cosby's shit was all a lie. Like forty how many people came out was like crazy, forty thirty forty people came out Like at that point, one.

Of somebody's not lying, somebody's selling the truth, you know what I mean. Do you talk about his sentence and his quarters? No? Yeah, so Bill Cosby was sentenced to three to ten years. I don't know if you guys have seen his mug shot, but sh is it's really creepy. It's sad.

It's very sad and creepy. I mean, that's I don't know should have be said.

Is it a limit? Kay? I'm trying to say as I'm smoking, I'm like an ash limit to go to jail.

No, like a sad statutory rape, no sagitation, a limited statitute of womens.

Yeah's limits of statutution. Oh my god, that's for fucking mind.

A limit like there's like a time limit up until you can, like you know, be a quarter crime. Quarter crime that's only in rape. There's no limit of statute, limit of stuf altitude.

Oh, oh my god, in murder is no, only only certain things? Why why rape? Because they don't give up? Because women, because women are the ones that usually getting rade, but they don't give a fuck.

They want to like, all right, you know, women, you have up until you have twenty years to talk about this.

No, you've got twenty four hours if you don't report it. We don't get DNA. Yeah that's true, but no, you don't get the rape. Kate, you're dead. I can't believe. Well, I can't remember what the what is the How many years is it? Is it like three? Ten? You said? That's first of all, I don't know how many years do you have to report a rape?

Like?

Isn't it fifteen or ten?

It's like fifteen, that's it has to be fifteen, Because I think, how long do you have to report a rape?

Siri? Siri? How long do you have to report a rape which has happened? It sounds like talking with someone might help. The National Sexual Assault Hopline website.

Offers content, Oh you did no, go back in there, it's not in here.

Go look in there, close it down.

You racey better see it, Lynette relaxed, calm down?

How long was that like that? I just noticed. It doesn't fuck did sire answer? No, it's here's a number. I feel like it's fifteen years Okay, you might be right. It's because I mean the still Cosby should happened a while ago.

I mean there were ones from way back in the day, but this was like one of I think this was the most recent.

One, and that's why he got Yeah what you made? Wait?

So okay, fifteen years ago he was he was useful enough to drug a bitch.

And yeah, for sure, what wait? What are his quarters?

He so he's in a single cell seven by thirteen feet ten foot ceiling.

He can he has he can buy a tvablet, tablet and books, a radio, books, a radio, and a tablet for texting.

Oh, to do emails, to do emails, so he can basically talk to whoever he wants all day long. Well, I don't know, I don't know. I mean a tablet.

Yeah, I guess it's just like a limited limited edition jail tablet.

I don't know.

Oh, and he's right by the infirmary, just in case anyone was concerned.

But he might go into popular general population in ten days. Yeah, what do you think they're going to do to it. He's probably gonna be the king.

Of that fu.

Oh.

Also in the article we read, they said they've been calling him OG, which stands for original gangster. Don't ask us our source, but that's what the article said.

Oh yeah, I mean fuck.

The thing is I don't really feel bad for him because he looks.

Like a pretty uncle. Who I know you did that ship, but yeah, I mean I didn't get me away with ship. They've made an example, lot of billy example. I have to be an old black man. Why couldn't they guy like get someone? Well that's what I mean.

He needed to get got, but I'm just saying that I couldn't. The first example been like, what's the guy? Everybody's going crazy? Oh Harvey Wine ste Yeah, well he's definitely going down. He better, he better go down because this ship is all recent. So many people are coming like people who are now yeah actively acting.

Like yeah, yeah, nigga, you know what you did.

Yeah, Stevie's a creepy What are we doing.

To raise creepy people is a question. Creepy men, creepy man. Maybe there's creepy woman too. We don't know. Of course there are there's a creepy women that molest girls, boys creepy.

Yeah, like what's happening that it's just that, okay, which is the whole different thing. Because I sat next to this Oh my god, I wish I could find her name was I should look her up. I met this girl, Sarah I think her names stare on a plane. She works for Ashton Kutcher's nonprofit, which is like aimed geared towards finding people who like who make child porn and like do sex trafficking I think the United States globally, and she makes the actual program to like to find

Is it an illness or is it trauma from their childhood?

I guess like with this approach, it was an illness, but either way trauma or an illness. If that trauma has developed into use six shit, some sick shit, that shit.

Fixed, I feel like we have a we have a way of making everything.

Curable. When you're saying, what some shit is just like an illness or like.

I think that I think that like should happen to people that definitely affects their life. You know, people have terrifying, horrible situations happened to them that you know, could potentially make them serial killers or rapists or whatever that may be. But I don't know if I would consider I don't know. I don't think trauma is an illness, you know what I mean? Because I think that's where that's like where

Wait, okay, so you've seen Frankie and Alice. Yeah, that was that with Calgary. Yeah yeah, So it's this movie hal Iberi does and basically this relation amendous experience happened to her and she produces all these different personalities. She's a schizophrenic and doesn't recognize she's switching between these different personalities inside of her.

And this is a true story, I know. So what I'm saying is if trauma, trauma can trigger.

Trigger and you're like your cellular memory can be triggered so much that it does, it can be considered a

Yeah, you're right. Actually, you're right. You just convinced me, okays convinced it was based on the story.

So I've come to the conclusion scientifically sold but also I really wanted to talk about too, the guilt that as victims when stuff happens to you, that you behold guilt and you're like, it's my fault.

This happened because of X, Y and Z, and how important it is as we go into our adulthood.

Even small things, big things, whatever, even things that you may have in some might consented to or didn't say anything and allowed the shit to happen. All of these things things we collectively need to be like, that's that I'm not letting this like this guilt and this this feelings that I didn't do enough like steer my whole life.

You know. No, Yeah, I just had an equiphany when you were just saying all that. Sorry, I just realized that a lot of me and a lot of like, I think that situation with this guy that I had sex with and I didn't want to I think really well, A it steered me away from music for sure, Like I had so told you before, Like after that like I slowly kind of just stopped like wanting to do

So this is you know what I mean.

It really affected me and my confidence in like what I'm good at, you know, because especially because music had been so important to me and I felt like I was really good at it and it was like my whole life and then to find to put that in suddenly that was questioned.

By an older person in power, and I believed it, you know what I mean.

And just how that can like shape the landscape of your life, Like who knows, maybe I would have like been more successful music had I just persevered and pushed through that and didn't let that situation like shape me in that way, right, And that's that's that's.

Kind of scary. You're so probably so unimpressionable even that's what I'm saying. You do think I could be fucking Britney Britney spears, bitch.

You can't go with any bit more current than Britney gonna you want to do the next Britney Spears, baby, baby, that's gonna think. No one's gonna think your talents. I could notice Britney's talent. I could be something gone. I could have been launch all right, okay, all.

Right, I.

Can't be There's no limit. Wasn't it Britney pop? Because that'sn't you? Very differently I would write pops. But for me, I really wanted to do more. You know, you need to might have need to pull up those EPs for good girl. Don't make me pull them up making me the intro the intros to this episode. We need music. Oh my god, maybe I have like a really deep song I composed the beginning of this episode. Oh my god, I can't wait. Oh my god, I have one. Can

Anyway, anyway, that just like when you were talking about that, I was just like wow, Like I was kept thinking like how did that situation affect me? What did and how did I really feel after that happened? And I did I felt obviously like dirty, ashamed, but I also felt like I wasn't good enough.

No no, no, no no.

But I also felt like I wasn't good enough, you know what I mean, Like I'm not worthy. Yeah, and I think I still carry that now. I think I already had that in me with my dad and like him not being around, But this was a different not good enough like my dad wasn't obviously thought.

But sometimes when you're when you're used to receiving like a male attention in a certain way, we kind of continue.

We kind of like it shows up in different forms. Yeah, it shows up in different forms because we're not realizing we're we're doing it because but it's almost like.

Because like my dad, like for me, like my dad not being around and not choosing that to be in my life, I felt like not good enough to like for his love.

Right with this, I felt like another man of power, not.

A dead father figure, but maybe in some way, yeah, because he was guiding I wanted to guide me right, and then he wanted to have sex with me in order for that guidance to happen. So then like I felt like, well, maybe I'm what I'm providing. Like the music isn't good.

Enough, right, So then that kind of correlated the other things. It's all correlated, you know, and it built upon it, and I think that's probably why I was.

I've been very insecure in my life, not those not just those two situations, but they definitely for sure shaped a lot of things for me now that I'm thinking about it.

Hey, you guys, guys enough, No, close close the door, close the door, close the door all the way. No, oh, don't hurt your fingers.

I think even like high school, like that's why I said, whether you consented or didn't consent?

Is even like high things just just shit, like even stupid she did in high school? College? I I wild out, like wild out, and even now is the adult have to go back and be like, Okay, what the fuck was going on here?

But and was it like a lack of male attention from when I was young? Am I just fucking wild and free and crazy? Did it just sound fun? But also like do I subconsciously still have guilt from those things?

So that's true, it's true, it's true. Anyway. Oh wait, do we have a question about email?

Do? Yeah?

Yeah, but I still I think I think I'm happy.

We're in a place now where you know, we're at least supporting each other more, you know what I mean. I don't really think things are changing that much, but they're slowly starting to and hopefully, like.

Women just need to.

Get in power powerful positions and just shut the ship down, shut it down, you need, it's just right, just go to oundboxes when it's recent. Oh going, Oh, okay, So we had a question from someone in our email, which, by the way, you can.

Email us Parental Advisory gm b C at gmail dot com. Again, that's Parental Advisory GMBC at gmail dot com. Feel free to email us asking us, invite, telling us some horries, just to say, hey.

Girl, hey, you know, free shit if you're gonna be in the LA area. Okay, So this is our question from anonymous. I have an eight year old daughter, who's my best friend, and it's been a whirlwind, whirlwind and raising her as I became a mom at twenty Now that I'm twenty nine, the sing and single, I'm curious on advice on dating and putting yourself out there but being cautious about letting people into my space and protecting my peace. I don't know.

That sounds like two conflicting things. Wait, how does she?

How does she? Basically, how do you put yourself out there and dating, but also be cautious about letting people into your space and protecting your peace?

Yea filter? The filter, the akna happens out.

Yeah, you know, But is it like, don't lie yourself, don't try to compromise too hard in your brain to yourself, you know.

Don't ignore the red flags. You see a red flag, believe it.

You know who you're really not that into. And when you see that, when people tell you who they are, believed them. I mean, there's basic boundaries when dating. You can put yourself out there. You go on dates, obviously, don't bring people back to your house, maybe drive your own car maybe or separately. Always obviously, you don't immediately like introduce anyone to your kids. No guys should ever be around your kids without you.

Being there period. I mean I don't know, Like you just have to feel it out protecting your peace. I mean, if he starts disrupting it early on, no, it's just gonna get worse. Yeah, what I mean, if you.

Feel this should mean there should be no disruption of peace in the first eight months, six to eight, like literally like forty six.

And also take a look at the like why your past relationships haven't worked, and try to notice the trends and see if there are any similarities popping up in him that remind you of your ex because or something you don't want in your life or don't want to attracting your life. Because I've had to do that, I've had to sit back and be like what is it that? Like why am I I'm dating the same person but in different forms? Like there are very different but they share one quality, which is narcissism.

Why do I love people that love themselves too?

Yeah? Yeah, but they shut up in different forms, Like there's the nerd narcissist, then there's a thug narcissist. Then there's like the yoga narcissist.

Right, you know, there was all different types of versions of that, and so you know, like for me in dating right now, because.

I feel like I am like, i'm very I'm actually really hyper aware of that too. I'm like maybe too hyper probably be like, oh my.

God, it's conceded. He's conceded. He's conceited, and he just like looks in the mirror something he like wiped the book. Oh no, you love yourself.

Let that buggers say, there, no, no, But it's just something that I just look out for now. But also, like you if you put out good energy and you put out love and you're like in a place now where you feel like you said you're ready to date, and like you feel like mentally you're in a good place, like you'll start attracting good people, and you know, you just have to kind of like feel it out.

You have to feel it out.

Because I definitely am like now that I feel like in such a better place than I did a year or so ago. Like I'm attracting different types of men. They're still not perfect men, all of them, but they're different than anything I've ever attracted. And also I think I'm also in a different place want to be different also well, babe, Okay, come in here. She's an't ask for issues. We're gonna take a quick break, guys, br b anyway, okay, sorry about that.

We're back.

I think we answered her question. I think, yeah, you know, just you have to get out there. You know what, you're filtering until you encounter. Yeah, you gotta get out there, that's true. And then you gotta filter.

And you're twenty nine and your kids are your kid is older, like, get out, you're lucky.

Get on tender asa, Yeah, get on that ship tender and bumble not bumble, just get on Instagram because apparently these days just using the d ms.

But anyway, I think.

Me and Jamil are both really tired, and Hi, the kids won't leave the room, so we're gonna We're gonna to end it now. So thank you so much for joining us. If you haven't checked out our last episode, you definitely should. It's a London Brown. We talked about if men and women can actually be with patonic friends, which was an interesting discussion.

Don't don't touch that lamp.

And do you want to say bye? You guys over here? Okay, all right, bye, okay one two three?

Bye?

Okay, mom, bad.

Choice. That's Whennie follow us A good moms underscore bad choices and we will see guys.

We a bye f Savada.

I'm like Baba.

I'm not Bobiba, I'm not b Staa.

I'm like to Baba.

I'm going to make it an hour, Savva.

You go Savada by agreeing without you, I'm in Helen.

You're not a good A three without your perfect vision. It's not a good without your mother.