I'm Dating A Married Man

good at like. I don't have game when it comes to dating so like, but apparently have a really good DM game when it comes to like getting podcast guests.

this week has been very interesting for me. You know, I remember, like a few episodes ago, I was talking about how this year, that this this next year, and like me, turning thirty two was really a year and confirmation to me that I need to follow my intuition. I need to follow my gut. I need to follow my body because my body really tells me everything before anything else. And this week was confirmation of that. So where do I begin? Have we just getting right to it?

Once upon a time? I feel like this is a question that's come up.

I was like, damn, he's kind of fine. So Erica proceeded to continue to talk to him.

and he was really like supportive of our ship. So, you know, we started to get to know each other a little bit more through text and facetiming. And you know, I was like, it was he was cool. He was cool. There were things that I wasn't sure about, and I'm specific, Fuck it, we're gonna tell the story. We're telling a fucking story. There were she was questioning. He had a rather strange octave voice. It was like and when she told me this, I was like, what the fuck do

you mean? What do you mean by that? You need to be more specific.

I never realized, like voice, Okay, I got to add that to the list. The manifestation voice, deep voice, low octave. So so these exchanges continued.

What do you think about this? For this, like for Patreon, because yeah, he gave us advice about shit, you know, so for the sake of this, and what we were calling him to each other was our O G. Patrearg. It was our O G.

was cool. I could tell he was like a little nervous, but I just like figured, I figured because like it's, yeah, it's our first time he fucking drove to see me like far, and you know, it's just it's we're in a new city. It's exciting. So I'm aggressive, so you know, I tell us ask to come over and sit next to me. We start making out at the restaurant. Erica is really good for me, public makeup. We make out at the restaurant and then we, uh, we go out. We go out. So we went to like where do

we go? If you did, you come with us? No, I had to go. We went to like this, We went to this. Oh, we went to Pals and it was like it was it was Pride night, so it was like a blot of gays there and we were just drinking and ship and after a certain amount of time, like I was drunk and I was ready to go. So we went back to his hotel and he was staying like down the street from where I was staying, and uh, yeah, we had sex. We hooked up and it was cool. It was good. Actually it was pretty good.

Would you say. He was like looking deep into your eyes. He was like, well, first he didn't want to have sex with me. He said, I don't want I'm not having sex with you because I wanted to be meaningful. And I was like, this is meaningful. Wait wait, I assured him. Well, he was trying to be like like he cared I wanted to be meaning and I was like, I'm horny. We've waited, you're not you don't live here, We're fucking I'm horny. The end, I'm naked, let's go,

so you know. And then this was also like one of the red flags too, because after we hooked up, I'm a cuddler, Like I'm super affectionate after sex, especially if I enjoyed it, which I did. I didn't even want to really cuddle with him, to be honest, Like he was trying to cuddle me, and I was like I was doing it, but like there was something that was like just not right there, you know. And so that was like my body couldn't really get into it. But whatever. So then the next day we have our

shal Live show, right, so I talked to him. He's asked me how it's going. Me and Jamila are running around like fucking crazy bitches, as you already heard, and we get to the show. We do the show, and at the end of the night, I noticed that he wasn't there. The guy I brought to the guy I brought to her date was like, oh, where is so and so?

the hospital right now. And I'm thinking, like, didn't he send you a picture of a like a band or something, yeah, like something like a hospital. Yeah. So yeah, So all at first my friends were like, he that's bullshit. He didn't get a fucking car accident. That sounds like some bullshit. So I'm like, is it bullshit? But then he sent me something like confirmed it wasn't. So whatever, he didn't come. I didn't get to see him before he left. We only had that one night. He goes back to Charlotte,

I go back to LA. We continue to talking, not every single day, but you know, every other day consistently. I would say uh at this point, like so he told me, oh, I don't even told you this. So he told me the reason why he's a single dad is because he was engaged and the woman he was engaged to, who is the mother of a child. One one weekend he went to a concert and he came back and she packed up all her shit and moved to London with his son. Wait, I hadn't. I don't

remember this, he said. He just came back into the house was empty. Yes, well not the house empty where her ship was gone and his son was gone and they were across the pond and she had moved away, and he was devastated and that uh yeah, And so now he shares his son. When we first started talking, he had his son. So he's like, I share my son six months out of the year. I get him for six months, gets and I recall her be like it's a really weird setup. Yeah. I was like every

six months. I was like, how is it? He's like three right, Yeah. She was like, I was like, the baby's gonna forget who's who every six months?

to the Bahamas. This is like maybe like three weeks two or three weeks into us talking, He's like, I'm going to the Bahamas, and uh, this is where we're going to do the trade off. I'm going to bring my son. She's coming with her new soccer player boyfriend and she's going to pick up my son and we're going to do the trade there. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. And then I was like, is she an immigrant? Why can't she come to the States. Why are they

making up in the Bahamas? I had so many questions, right, and so he was like yeah, So he goes to the Bahamas. He texts me some photos from the Bahamas. I asked him how the trade off went. He said it was hard. I didn't like really want to go. I'm gonna have to work that out. The son didn't really want to have to go. The son didn't really want to have to go. I didn't really want to go. And then like I guess he lost his temper more

than he wanted to with her. That he's gone now and he's with her in London and he's not going to see him till Christmas. So I was like, you know, that like pulled my heartstrings because I'm like, damn, like that must be really hard. I can't imagine being going

six months without seeing my daughter. So then at some point along in the story of their relationship, he tells me that she's in DC and that he needs to fly down to DC to see her because she has something to tell him, and his son is with her, and so he just hopped on a plane because it

was an opportunity to see his son. So he goes there and he tells me that, Okay, she told me that she's pregnant and she just needs She cried and she's a mess, and so I just took our son for the day and let her like do her thing. She'd confess all this at the hotel. He's asking me for advice, like what should I do? And I'm telling him, I'm like, she probably needs you to be her friend right now. She doesn't need you to like lecture her, Like I'm over here giving him advice about how to

deal with her. And he's like he calls me back later and tells me like, thank you so much for that advice. It really was helpful. I really appreciate you. Blah blah blah. Okay, So then at some point he tells, like, at some point in our talking a few months ago, like a month goes by, and he tells me that I don't know what happened, but oh so then we were planning to wait this up. No, that's afterwards, when was this? At some point, he gets his son back

because she's a mess. She's partying, she's going out all the time. Did she not keep the baby? She's yeah, she's not, she's not. Oh yeah, she got an abortion. She got an abortion. She's partying all the time. He just went to get his son. Now he has his son, So now he's back to being a son. Hey, I have a question.

with her. You know what she did to me, She like moved to London and like left me over a weekend. I could never I could never forgive her for that. And I was like, well, you know, I mean I get it because if you were in love with her, I would understand because I have a lot. I'm still untangling this relationship with my baby daddy and like trying to like, you know, close that chapter. So I get it. You know, we're just talking as because I feel like

we're having some experience, you know. Anyway, So we he just tells me he's coming to La which is actually this week. So this is after after Atlanta. This after Atlanta, he tells me, I'm going to to LA for work and I would love to see you. So I'm like, okay, let's do it. So because he's such a fucking planner, he sends me notes and like wants me to fill in the days of like what we can do on the calendar, restaurants we can go to. But he would you mean like in your note. Yeah, he sends me

Apple notes. You know I'm talking about. Yeah, I'm getting a little friends. Yeah yeah, this is oh wait, oh so like, uh I'm free. No it like literally says Monday airport drop off seven am, check in a hotel like eleven eleven am, uh, find bluesy like, eat breakfast at a breakfast spot, find good music. Ask Erica like literally detailed, like he needs to know what he's doing all day every day. Yeah you know, okay, keep going, Like you know that kind of speaks to my heart.

But also like I'm kind of that person, but I'm mostly not. I need a little bit of that, but I also need to go with the fucking flow. So I was also trying to encourage him. I said, what if, like we do something crazy and we don't plan some shit. Well we know why the nigga has to plan everything, So anyway we plan. He's excited to come to LA.

So I'm not really that excited because even through all of this, even though I know he's a good like he's checks out on a lot of boxes, there's something that's off like our I don't know, like he seems like nervous and he's not like he's not funny, which is really important to me what it is, Like he'd like our conversations are fun. I think I'm the funny one in the conversation. Like he's amused by me, right, and like he knows you. He thinks he knows you

because he's listened. He is he like really listens to the podcast. He knows all of me and Jamila's businesses like business like hat like all of our bays, all of our shit. Okay he really he really? Yeah? Okay. So I end up I end up not being finding out I'm not going to be in LA when he's here. So I call him and I tell him, like, hey, so I found out actually have to go to LA to New York. During that time, I'm literally like leaving the day you come and he like has a like

a meltdown over the phone. Can you give you an instant replay?

a reaction to disappointment. And I heard it again after that too something else like it's a thing which I don't know whatever, So I'm like, okay, so that was weird and I talked about it later because I was like, that was really weird, Like I said, you aren't making all these noises, and also like what are your expectations exactly, like like where you can see each other another time? And that also let me know too, because you know, i'd be obsessed. I'm not obsessed. I didn't like you're

obsessed or you're not. Yeah, I'm not obsessed. So I was like, you need to chill. So he apologized and was like, yeah, you know that reaction. There's a lot going on that day. Some things happened that day. I mean I had a hard day at work, and then I found out I'm not going to see my son and until Christmas. Now until after Christmas. Wait, I thought he had the son because she was going to the club a lot. Okay, No, this is okay, my timelines off. This is like maybe like a week before he got

his son. Okay, So I just said his son just happened recently. I just got his son back. Okay, recently, Okay, like recently to this very moment. Okay, Okay. So I'm like, he's like, I'd found out I'm not going to have my son, and it was just then then I get that, and it was just all these blows and I just I just didn't take it. Well. I'm sorry. I want you to know I don't have any expectations. I know,

like you know, you're not looking for anything serious. I'm not gonna I'm not envisioning us getting married in your backyard or anything like that, because I had said if I ever get married and again, I would just get married in my backyard. And I'm like, okay, that's a strange reference that you remembered. That was weird. Okay, You're not gonna get married in your backyard. I mean, it's not like that, it's not like that. I'm like, okay, cool. So I'm like, well then we'll see each other some

other time. So what happened? I'm going to New York. We're calling each other.

said accommodation. He's saying accommodations. You know we're basic. Hello Hello, did you say accommodations? Hold on one second, I think I'm getting married. Yeah, well, actually I'm free because you just said the magic motherfucking word accommodations. Oh god, it's true though. Oh it's so sad. I'm actually embarrassed. It's okay, we gotta grow. We're growing. But not only that, my friends were like telling me I was being too hard on him, like because I would tell him like there's

this guy. I don't know why I would say that, Okay, so so so much so that like the reason Okay. So at some point he said that to me, and I still was like I'm not going to see him, Like, well, I'll see him some other time, not like I'm never gonna okay, but a little bit You're like a little bit no, for sure. I was like, Okay, that's kind of sexy, but also like I have to go back and see like my daughter's coming to the East Coast, Like i gotta get back to Pennsylvania. I'm not going

to extend my trip whatever. Oh because he then he suggested to come there. Yeah, he was like he was like snow Alegra was playing at Webster Hall on the twenty fourth. Wait I want to take you? Wait was sorry November twenty fourth at Webster Hall. Get us two tickets? Okay, got it? So anyway, so I'm like I don't know. So that I told my mom about him, so I was like, Mom, like I met this guy and like, I don't know. I showed him her. I showed her

his picture. He's like he's cute. He's cute, and I'm like, he's like he's a corporate job, like has a good job. Like he's the same dad. Is that a rapper? Shots that? Wow? He could be the one. Wait did you say did you say Bank of America? Did you say Sellars? Saying health in Hell? Yeah, I said health and sure did own his own. Yeah, So all he was checking up all these boxes, you know, and he's young, Like he's

like yeah, anyway, So I told him. She's like, I was like, mom, I really I like him, but like his voice, I don't know, I can't you know, you know, it's a thing. I was like, his voice kind of irritates me. And she was like, what do you She's like, call him, call him right now? You did? You know? Everybody said that when you said it. I was like, well, call him, let speak or anything. Well first because I called. The first time I called was Sebastian and his ass

is so motherfucking extra. I called and then he was like hello, and I had to hang up the phone because he was so goddamn loud. And then I was, and then he was like I called it back. He's like, are you okay?

so I call him. I'm in the car with my mom and I call him on speakerphone and he says a few things that I know my mom liked. First number one, please please, I didn't hear this. I was telling him was I'm going to get my nails done, and I'm like, he's like, what color you gonna do?

And I was like this basic nude and he's like, it's not basic, baby, it's classic excession thing a mom and be like she was like I saw her like start nodding her head like yes, bitch, yes classic friend Chip never on too basic classic And then he was talking about him. He was like, yeah, he went shopping and I don't know, he was just talking about shit whatever. So we hang up the phone. My mom's like, he is his voice is not that bad. Okay, you're being

so hard. Why are you so hard on everyone? You're never gonna find someone to do this hard on someone. She's like, what's what's the hold up? Just go to the concert. And I was like what she's like, but it's fine. I would have been like snow there. So she gave me the green line and I was like, we canna watch my baby? Okay. Well I can't say no, so I said okay. So I called him that next day and I was like, I'm going I'll stay. I'll

stay an extra day. And I was like, you know what, maybe I am being too hard on him, Like let me just like just stop, just just stop thinking, stop feeling, stop overthinking, and just go with it. So that's what I do. So he books his ticket and we're planning, sends his adds adds the plans to the calendar. We're looking forward to it. Oh. He also buys me a birthday present. He bought me a whip, which you did not tell me this. We were going to keep this

a secret. Yeah, why no, it wasn't. I wasn't. But yeah, he bought me a whip. Wait wait, wait, hold up, hold the fuck up? A whip as an yep, my flog like the one like King has with multiple Okay, okay, he sent it to your house. Well, I don't know if he's gonna send it anymore.

let me just stuff. Then the universe said, bitch, fuck you. I didn't know. I didn't know. You offered a lot, saved your hotel. I did, okay, but then a good night. Yeah it was one night. Literally, I just think all the details, bitch. Sorry, Well, we got to save them for everyone else, a secret whip to save them for everyone else listening. So then I'm calling, I'm on the phone, I'm at the office, and I'm telling I'm like, okay, bye, like I haven't said a happy birthday because I didn't.

I realized I forgot, which tells you a lot as well. So I was like, okay, well, I got to go and he's like, oh you aren't you forgetting something? And I was like uh And I was like, oh shit, it's your birthday. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Fuck happy birthday. Oh my god. I felt so bad. So we hung up the phone and this girl that works with us at you know, at the office, she's like,

you forgot his birthday. She's like, you have to send him something because I told him about him the night the day before and she and I showed her his picture and she was like, he's the best. What is wrong with you? Like she was all teen hitm look at God. And she was like, we have to send him cupcakes. I was like, I don't know his a dress and she was like, oh, I can find that, don't worry. And I was like, well, actually she is like she's crazy. I love her so fucking much. Thank

God for her. Actually, but I was like, no, I know his one of his friend's Instagram. So we all like DM him and tell him. I want to like send him something. I couldn't find it. I could not find this motherfucker's DM. So she's still like steady googling him. She's like, doesn't he know what his homeows. I'm sure there's like homeowner records, Charlotte. But then in the process of in the process of just searching his name, which

by the way, I have done, but I did. I guess I didn't look very hard, She's like, oh, he has an engagement website, and so she clicks on it and it's him and baby mama engagement photos and and I'd never seen her before. I don't even know her name, Okay, so I asked. I told her. I was like, oh, yeah, well he was engaged. I knew that. I was like, yeah, they probably took engagement photos. That didn't really shock me. I was more intrigued, like, oh, what does she look like?

You know, bitches, you know we're so basic and shit, what does she look like? So basic? And I was She's like, you never listened her Instagram. I was like, I've never seen her before. I don't even know what her name is. And I was like, okay, well, let's just get the address I want to send the fucking cupcakes. So she pushes that aside. She fucking finds his address, bitch, because it's just crazy. It's just crazy. She finds his address. I know it's the right one because of this photo

he sent me up. I know, I saw like a stalk. Well what was the photo? He like took a video outside of his house because it was raining on Halloween. Who oh, and it was like a cul de.

them to send it. I know he's out of town, but he's going to be back that night. So I asked that they they'll send it to the latest driver. And I write a note and I write, I bet you thought, I bet you thought I forgot can't wait to see you in New York, Love Erica. So then we should we get those We get that handled pay for that. So then so then she's like, okay, wait, so let's go back to the girl because I love this bitch. And she's like, who is this bitch? And

I was like, I don't know the baby mama. She's like, let's give her instagram.

She's like, oh maybe that's no, that's my New York. Oh that's not London. And then I'm like, wait, what do you I don't see any London. And then I'm like, wait is that him? And it's a picture of them as a family, but not like a co parenting picture, like I'm fucking married picture, and I just keep digging. No. Then she goes, okay, well, oh wait, let's click her blog.

So let me click her blog and it says they're like one of the posts is the Bahamas and that's where he told me they did the exchange and it was this year. So I click on the fucking blog, bitch. For first of all, it's broken up by day. So day one, Day one, me and my husband Keishan went on a boat. Today there's a picture of the I'm on a boat like cheers in Champagne and he's laughing.

She's fucking looking fucking fashionable and they look like a fucking Instagram ad and I'm and then day two my my my Insta husband because he guess he takes all of her pictures. She literally my Insta husband, like my Insta Bay husband, some ship like that. Because you know, I clicked the blog.

saw was that. Then I saw Halloween photo and it was not just him as Martin and his son as a Martin character. She was fucking genu bitch, she was Gina. I was like, oh, you just left out Gina. You just well the fact that he said me and my son are Martin. I knew that that was bizarre. You can't have Martin without Gina. You're so right, right like the fact that you guys.

You didn't even put the rest of it on there.

do that. I would never ever ever do that, even as a single person I'm conscious of, Like even who I allow her to see or hear me talk to the fact that you would allow me to engage and you're married in your home in the like, it's just mind fucking blowing that he painted this entire picture of himself being the single father too, like preyed upon my

singleness in a way. Knew that that was a common ground, Yeah, a common ground or like something for empathy, for empathy, which I'm like, I don't want your fucking empathy or for empathy for him. But I'm just saying, but that's how he viewed singleness, right, Like it's so it's so terrible. I'm it's so hard. I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's just like I was literally on the like I fell to the floor. I was like, shut the f. I was laughing because I was like, this can't be happening.

I haven't talked to her in like a week or two. And even told me like when he oh goday, So he told me that, Like I was like, how is he doing adjusting to being back with you? And he's like, you know, he still asks for her. Still he still

asks for his mom at night. I'm like, thinking back on these moments, how sick you have to be to usual child as a bait for a bitch like I have bait for pussy, as a bait for attention, as a bait for whatever imaginary relationship or fucking idea you've had in your head about what this or we could be because I know you thought about it. I know he envisioned what our shit would be, Like how fun I felt, how exciting I felt to him, right, he was so excited was the idea of me. Right, And

that's really sad. It's it's just.

like that's admirable. Like I'm proud to have someone even like listening to us that, Like you know, it's taking in what we say as mothers and cares like that. I felt that you with that, Yeah, wow, Like I don't know, I just I'm happy I'm reaching the single dads too. But it's just so crazy how I don't know what he thought in his head, what how this was going to turn out? But anyway, So after I found out all this shit, right, oh okay, let's get back onto the store. So after I found out all

this shit, I was like, what the fuck? And I didn't know what to do except call the cupcake place and make sure they expedited the cupcakes immediately to his home because I wanted to make sure they got there before he did. And you know, part of me was like, that's a bitch move. But then I said, you know what, Erica, you're always so fucking nice. No, someone needs to know, and that's someone. It's probably his wife, because I'm worried

for her. I am. I am her because this person, this isn't the first time he's done that, and he has no concept of real ill a fake Instagram account where I'm sure he's reaching out to multiple women he follows. I saw when I looked at his following list on there, because one day I was like, he's not following anyone or followed by anyone, but he's following like sixty something people and they're all like a lot of more podcasts.

They're all men's podcast h yep, and other things. Other male things like that he wants to keep up with like sports things, but a lot of women. And I was like, hmm, Now, looking back, it all makes sense. He has a secret Instagram account that his wife doesn't know about because he probably has already gotten in trouble for being on Instagram doing dumb shit, doing some dumb shit. So now he has a secret account where he reaches

out to people. Fuck it has Patreon where he like, that's how he lures the men in, like supporting the dream, right right, supporting the cause, supporting the dream, and he happens to be fine a little bit. I don't know about that voice, but he happens to be fine a little bit, and I feel like I don't know, Like I don't know. I've I was so disappointed with myself. I was like, how did I not? But then I'm looking back and I'm like, no, I didn't do anything wrong.

I went by I went into this with like a pure heart, pure intentions. I didn't follow my gut. Yes, that was It challenged me because I was like, am I being shallow? I'm trying to push through this, you know, and whatever. So he texts me after I find out because he has no idea I've found out. So we had talked about Frozen earlier because we're parents and that's what we do. And I told him I fucking hate Frozen. I really just don't like that movie. I'm ready for

it to be done. And I can't believe there's a whole other one coming out. Like I thought we were off the Frozen train. I reach back on it, right. So he sends me a link to some Frozen memes and writes in capital letters, just to fuck with you. So I send him a link to his wife's instagram them dressed up like Martin characters and write in caps, just to fuck with you. And I texted Mela this and I'm like, bitch, look what I said. I'm like, She's like, did he answer? What the fuck? What is

he doing? Radio me the fucking silent? But I saw that he read it. Because I don't know if one of you motherfuckers that has listened to right listening to this podcast right now, if you have your messages capable of people knowing that you read them, why, I don't understand that. Do you understand you ever did that? No? No, it's great for me because I know you read it,

but like, I've never understood the logic in it. I don't want you to know what the fuck I'm doing it all right, right right, I don't want you to know that I'm not responding anyway. Tell me that's a red flag. That's like a red flag for me. If you keep your messages on red, you're maybe a serial killer anyway. So he so, then nothing, he says nothing. Then I go back to my Instagram because I had sent the link of the girl's instagram to Jamila, like

can you believe this shit? And the link is expired, like her instagram no longer exists. So I'm like, wait, did she block me? Like? How does she know who I am? Already? What did he tell her? Like? What the fuck? So then Jamila goes on her Instagram and she's also blocked, and then Sebastian goes on his. He blocked all my friends from her instagram specifically. So I'm just like, I don't know, Like I was just in pure shock.

to our show, sent us money from Vegas. Oh he was so invested. Listen. I forgot about that. Oh my god, he was so invested.

an explanation. I'm a good person. Call me right now. And he did no hered this, So he called me and he was like, hey, I don't I don't. I know. I can't apologize or I didn't apology. I can't apologize that. It's not gonna make anything better. I don't even know what to say. And I was like, yeah, I don't know what the fuck you are doing. I don't know what the fuck to say either. You are a sociopath. You disgusted me, You had your son in front of me.

You talked about your wife as if she was basically like a deadbeat mom. Meanwhile, she's living in your fucking home, you're married. And he was like, I just I got into deep and I didn't know how to get out I'm like, got into deep.

like this. Like I wonder, oh my god, this is you guys, if there's any podcasts out here listening and this sound this story sounds anything familiar, let us know, we need to make Wait, what if he's done this to other all other women that he listens to.

is that his daughter? I'm like that was my fucking daughter, and like, you know, it's just too much. It's just too much. So this week was just really stressful. I didn't honestly, when I talked to him, I got emotional because first of all, I felt triggered as fuck. I was like, god damn, like being on the other side of this, but like obviously what happened to me in my last relationship and there being another woman, you know,

she knew about me, where is this I had? But she had the option to say I'm good right this y he took advantage of me and like tried to like manipulate the situation and tapping into things that you on the podcast From the podcast, yeah, that's really scary. Oh yeah, And it's just like it made me sad because I was like, wow, is this what men are men are so hos currently always like he's a nerdy ass. Yeah,

he's not like something with a lot of swag. No, he wasn't like something like I need to think it was it was the player, you know, and that's why too. I was like, Okay, he's different, he's not like most of them, because that's the kind of thing I usually like, like I must conquer. But I just it made me feel like, is this like humanity? What I Is this

all I'm going to get? And also like why is it that I keep attracting weird people like this, like narcissists, and like, I just it's like I felt betrayed.

Are you who you say you are? And he's like, even if I was, if I didn't, if I was a liar, do you think i'd tell you the truth right now? And that's a good point. Actually you caught me because that guy that you're dating, the other guy. But I got emotional because I just was like, wow, like I just I don't know, I just I'm trying to be vulnerable and I'm trying not to let things

like this jade me from love. I know, because you already are like, don't trust people, right, And it's just like I don't want things like this jading me from love. I want my heart to be okay.

of that fucking airplane. That's a hell opdah. It just brings me back to that whole idea of like thirty two for me and this next year really honing in on my instincts and not questioning it and not letting people make me feel like I look at everyone with the side eye, because no, whenever I don't look at someone with the side eye and not to not and I really don't look at everyone's side. But when I go against my gut, I know who my people are

and who aren't. I think, I know, like sometimes my people, your people might not be my people, you know what I mean, Like some people that you connect with just I'm not gonna connect with it. And I just I know what kind of energy I can work with and be around. Obviously his energy isn't for anyone. Yeah, he's literally just fucking with you know what. That's the thing, Like, that's the thing that's what's scary.

don't get me to twisted. Of course, people always have men to say about a scorpio, but I've always told me meant scorpio men are liars, and like this this like and I you know, like I try not to just be live my life through horoscope, but truly I don't November. Look, this was like confirmation there's a reason why I've never fucked with a scorpio except for the person I lost my virginity to virginity too, and like that was it. It just was too we both can't

be dark, we both can't be moody. We like we need I need someone who balances it out. That's why someone who makes me laugh is important, because it really is like, I know I'm funny, but like I need someone that's a little like lighthearted, lighthearted, more lighthearted than I am. So but it's hard.

I know that I've done the work and that like even I have met really I've met men with really great traits and great qualities and they might not be the men for me, but I've still met, like I've had met men that have given me like hope and like oh wow, like oh I can't ask for that. It goes back to that list that we write like,

oh this is actually possible. I know I can do that because I know I can't have because it's right and it was just I don't know, but I think the lesson for me was like, yeah, trusting your intuition and also probably not like fucking at your workplace, because essentially that's what it is don't fuck at your workplace for podcasting. That means don't funk the listeners. Okay, don't do that shit. I'm cool. If you're listening, I'm not fucking you. Don't fucking st no listener, no fuck rule.

don't know how I've been blessed with this friend. Like he's just a ride or die type of nigga. Okay he I told him the story and he was like, oh, hell no. He's like this, why I don't fuck with niggas. This one niggas ain't shit. You know what you women, you just put up with so much shit and we just keep doing this bullshit. He's like, no, no, no, no, it's not today. He's like, you know what, you were really nice with your ex and you didn't you didn't

go down that route. But you don't know this nigga shit and someone needs to know and it's his wife. And I was like, oh my god, I don't know. Wait, you need to be if you want to be convinced to do some shit. Concobaba, should I keep this niggas car hold on? Let me Sebastian that's gone said, look how many keys should I write? I'm here? Should I pop the tires?

I looked. I looked on her blog and she has an email address, and I was like, well, the way this nigga went in her fucking Instagram, I'm sure he can block the bitch like block, I'm sure he has access to her email. I was thinking that. No, I

thought that too. I think he probably got the email. Anyway, Sebastian wrote an email on his own behalf as my friend, breaking down the storyline, the timeline, and why her nigga is crazy and that she needs to be careful and basically it was like, I'm not saying this to ruin your marriage. I'm just saying this because I feel like you should probably know what's going on. And my friend is hurt, not really hurt, not really hurt, but like

you need to know pauls and know. I was like conflicted about it because you know, my ex's mistress messaged me and it was really hurtful. She also is vindictive and had an agenda. Yeah, she was really hurtful. But at the end of the day, I'm glad it happened. It had to happen like it had to, and I'm a better woman for it. And I'm not here to have this woman make a choice about her life. Whatever she might very well stay with the man. God bless you if you do, because you go need a girl.

But I feel like she should know. But I do feel like I should have written that letter. I just last night was just too overwhelmed. He wanted to do it. I didn't give a fuck. He was over there typing, not at my like he was on FaceTime, like.

absolute great single mother. So as she's telling me about this new single man, I'm getting to know him through her. I continue to get an idea of who this man is. And one of my first questions about him, of course, was is he married? He seemed like too good of a man to be single. She then explained that he has a and an ex assuming that is you. As time goes on, he starts to feel comfortable informing Erica about how you left for a soccer player and got

pregnant but had a miscarriage. So but it had a miscarriage or something. So of course, her being a single parent, she felt for his She felt for his story, and they continue to talk. As some more time goes by, he then tells Erica that you have his son, and that he spends six months with you and spends six and spends the other six with him, and that he is he is headed if I'm not mistaken, to the

Bahamas to do the exchange with the child. So while this is all going on, FaceTime calls have been happening. I Sebastian spoke to him at least twice. Pictures were sent from what my best friend Erica told me, he even face timed her with your son on the phone and had him say hello to her. Remember, she's going about this as if he is a confirmed single man. No confirmed, bitious get your confirmations don't just take single. You need to get a confirmation certified. Let a confirmed

single man with no woman on his end. Oh my god, this, this run on sentence is giving me anxiety. Single man with no woman on his end. Fast forward. Sometime they find things in common such as music, the single parent life, and other things as well. He calls her on a daily and describes his day to her, sends even more pictures, and eventually, one night he felt he was a bit lonely and started to do this sexting thing. Why did I let him send this ship? Oh god, you're in

the same fucking go Oh my god. As pictures were being sent, I'm guessing the idea of a meetup would be super fun and cool, not super fun and cool. Oh my god. So moving to her. So moving to her arriving in Atlanta. This is oh my god. The way this is written is like like how people talk. It's crazy. Okay. So moving to her arriving to Atlanta for work. But put a little time aside. Wait, I don't know, put some time aside for single? Single? They met up and I will spare the details, but I

can't keep the facts away. But they did have sex. Oh my god, this She had no idea he was in any type of relationship. So fast forward to today. She was reminded that it was his birthday. She sent a nice little message to him and then thought, hmm, let me go ahead and send a little gift to him. So in search of an address to surprise him with a gift, she comes across something that mentions him being

engaged about five years ago. So she's like, Okay, I heard about this, but he's single, with the burning curiosity of what you look like? Burning? Wait? Did he put burning? I hate him? Do not do not read this? Amok he did, but when he read it, I don't know. It just sounded like how we talk. So it's different burning, oh God, with the burning curiosity of what you look like and an idea of who he was with prior Wait, who he was with prior to wait, what you look like?

And the idea of who he was with prior to her Erica, she did a bit more digging. Come to find she learns that single is a married man and from your perspective, he's a great husband. Father. You guys just went on a trip together. I'm not telling you this to break your family up. But I'm telling you this so you don't suppress. Oh my god, So you don't so you don't surprise, get hurt with surprise, get hurt when you find out ten women down the line

from now. I wish you luck, and if you have any further questions, feel free please feel free to contact me via email. Stay strong, and I'm sorry about this. Not in a dick in their bed? Oh my? Did he cross out your face? He said? You can only see her shoulder? What is the Oh is that music? Does? He sent me a snow a Legra song. God, well, I want you around? Oh my god. Yeah, he was in fake fantasy, sending me pictures of his son in their living room playing just crazy shit. Our flight information,

he paid for your ticket to get extended. No, his his flight information.

I dodged a bullet because God be looking out. Thank you, love you, and again like counting my blessings, counting my blessings, like honoring my intuition and the things that I feel and not letting anyone or anything deter me from that because I look sometimes look for people, look to people to validate my feelings, and then it confuses me when their validation is different than what I'm feeling. So then I start to question what I'm feeling. So I'm not

doing that anymore. I can't do it anymore. Like this, this is the last straw for real, Like mm hm nope. So I'm just glad that I feel like I dodged that bullet. And that was my week this week. Alright, I'm gonna pose a question. Yes, that's a crazy week. I feel like I was affected by that week.

relationships and they are allowed to have this. I'm actually always attracted to men who are very respectful of their women and speak highly of them and speak honestly about what their issues are and that they're in relationships and they don't want to leave those people and from like and some people don't you know what I mean. But it's just actual or it's just that I just feel like, give a bitch is an option, but to create a whole false I think.

said probably a little bit. That's trembling lip bee. And we all know he's a fucking narcissist, But I'm just saying, like that missed that, like that he's like it's always taking out. He's sneaking out to like Chicago to go fuck this married woman and it's exciting and it's exhilarating. And it's like same with this guy, Like he's sneaking out to La to come hang out with me, Like he's he likes that. That that part of it, that's part of the whole story. He's telling himself that it's

this fantasy, but he's away. I left my wife for her, and like we raised our own kids together. But it's never really that, like no, never would be now when it's I bet all day yesterday, all he kept thinking about was losing his family and oh my god, oh my god, like I love her, I love her? Fuck fuck fun? What have I What have I done? What have I done? My son? Oh my god, I'm gonna lose everything. And it's like why does it have.

all time high. We live in a weird world. Guys, Google that shit, because if only I googled a little harder, I could have I could have found this out day one. Low key, well would you even know?

I don't know. I wish him well. I hope that he oh and that he can go to therapy and work through his freaking issues because he clearly has a lot. There's something there. I feel like it's in childhood. You forgot to stop telling stories. He does have some childhood shit, some traumas that he shared with me. If they're true or not, I don't know, but whatever they are, I hope that he finds some sort of peace.

from childhood trauma. A lot of times, if a child has experienced really serious trauma to check out, they can create these faults like these, like alter lives, because whatever they're going through is too much for a child to experience. So sometimes it's carried on into adulthood to a place where it's they believe it's so hard themselves that delivering it doesn't feel or seem like a lie to them, and so it won't feel like a lie to you, and then they can dive deep into it and it's.

have Instagram. I mean, I'm not saying that everyone has Instagram, because they don't. But just make sure check that phone and check out them. Just google that name because if I had just scrolled out a few more. But you know, everything happens how it happens, I believe, you know, we're approaching the end of the year, we're cleaning up house, getting rid of everything that we don't need to bring

with us into the next year. And I feel like I feel like I am I'm coming to a closing of what I've learned and then last three hundred and sixty five days about myself and in conclusion and what I what I what I need, and also in my single in my journey being single, you know, like it's really been a journey. It really has, and I'm actually enjoying it. It's kind of crazy and sad and scary and like I want I cry a lot, but then also like there's moments Where'm like, oh God, thank God

I'm single. It's like I'm enjoying the journey. And if I don't even single, podcasting, all the things that can happen, you know, So I don't know, I just who I feel like, did I tell? Did I tell everybody that I had get it out? What the fuck are you trying to say? I would just like to say that I know we're saying people are crazy and we shouldn't sleep with listeners, but I did sleep with listener one time, and I knew he was married and they're an open

marriage and it was open and he's not crazy. He's just regular. It was fine. And even though he said she didn't ask, she didn't tell her. Wait, she asked, he said, I said, did you tell her? He said, no, she didn't ask. But so is that how they navigate through I'm assuming so because if you have an open mariage and I even have like a girlfriend. But I mean, I.

I think three is the magic number. Okay.