Heartbreak Hotel

Welcome back to Good Mon's Bad Choices.

I'm Erica and I'm Nila, and it's Wednesday, Happy Wednesday, Happy hot Day.

It's still burning hot in the valley. It's it's actually hell.

It's like we actually I don't know how many of our listeners live in southern California and are familiar with San Fernando Valley, but it's hot as.

Fuck, and the devil just happens to live right next door to Erica's very real. It's hot. Wait what is my what? My baby Dady used to say, Oh wait, maybe.

It's as cold as penguin pussy, not hot as panga pussy pain, penguin pussy pay, as cold as pinions, So you gotta think of a better about it.

As hot as oh man, that's scared me. Hot as devil. How the devil's himself, the Devil's.

Dick, the level of focus it requires to a HD bitches.

It's very hot.

My dog is very blond, and my nerves are on low, very short.

Had a long week, and yeah, I'm ready for next year. I know it's like what are you wearing?

You know what? We keep talking about next year? And like I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be much different. Like I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. But I'm not saying it's gonna be bad. I'm just saying, like December thirty first, the ball's gonna drop, and it doesn't mean like yeah, like like.

The ship is doesn't mean tomorrow it's gonna be over. So I don't know.

I'm ready for another vacation, honestly, Like that's what I should professionally, vacation.

You do, I don't know what you're talking about.

You do, You've been on a vacation for like three months?

Shut up? You know what I mean? A real one? What the fuck? Anyway, I'm really excited you guys, because I.

Am wearing our merch right now. We just dropped new merch on our site.

Yesterday, and it's fucking cute.

It is cute, and it says good Mom's bad girl, Good moms. It's good mom, bad girl, has an upside has an upside down happy face, and it has a little weak plants. It's very seventies retro, Sunny Retro. Designed it ourselves. We're very proud, like we're design maybe eleven months to keep this one to sign don't worry.

There's another one coming. Yeah, there's no one coming that's not on our site yet.

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Go check it out.

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It's just content after content after content after content.

Shit, you don't we don't post on Instagram.

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We actually did an episode, a bonus episode of Horrible Decisions that is really really funny.

I don't know if you.

Guys have been able to check it out patrons, you know what I'm talking about. We played never Have I Ever with Weezy and Mandy, and you might be surprised at the things that all of us have or haven't done. Also in true Horrible Decision fashion, you know, they had a little bickering moment there. They're a little little shouting match, a little shouting match, and you know, as the mamas of the group, we had to tell their little I says to sit the fuck down, go in your corners,

You say anything else, not a single word, five minute time out.

I really felt like a mediator. Anyway, I love those bitches, So make sure you go.

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Yeah, there's text positions, but yeah, become a part of our tribe, get a little closer to us.

Help it's knows a little bit. Oh my god, I hold on you guys. I ordered food and now they're calling me.

Okay, sorry, that was very important because if I don't eat soon, I'm gonna eat Erica's head off. I always forget to eat and then I'm acting psycho and I'm like, why am I so angry?

Oh?

I haven't eaten. That must be a cancer thing. It's that much to be a cancer.

Okay, this is what works not gonna happen now that you're dating a cancer man.

You're not gonna just.

Groo's happen in Erica now thinks she's like mother cancers.

She knows everything about the cancers. My guest friends of cancer, my boyfriends of cancer, and you all do this. Y'all are all fucking crazy whatever. Y'all are so particular about weird shit. And also I am not particular about weird shit. I'm actually the least particular person that I know. Is that a hickey on your neck?

Is that?

I'm not kid? I don't even know you could get pickies girl.

I am kicky easy whoa, Yeah, you're like fifteen again.

We're right, We're on a very ghetto episode.

I'm just trying to sage the room.

I can answer it. It's a FaceTime from fucking New York. I don't know who that is. Okay, we're back after four hundred interactions. Oh yes, I do get hickey. And I got a hickey. I feel like sometimes my boyfriend's doing it to kiss.

On me.

On you. It's a term you don't know me, like like help dogs mark their territory. I don't I don't know if I just you don't like that. I don't like that term. Okay, well that's what it's that's what it stands for me. I don't know you wanted to piss on you anyway, so like in you real life, So that's like, oh my god, speaking and pasting on people.

I asked him, like, have they repeat on him? Anyone has the ever repeat on you? He's like, not on purpose. Maybe the shower some We're in the shower and I'm like he's He's like, scoop out and I had to peet.

I was like, when to try. Wait, did I pian have a p on me? Oh? I said I had to be and he told me like piano's leg a little bit to turn him on.

No, no, it didn't turn me on either. That's like how it was nice, Like it's almost as warm as the shower. It's like, well, guys, let me cover that. Yeah, that was basically how it went. I was like, are you feeling rock hard over there? He's like, Nope, not really. I'm not really into piss play into a pissy thing. I could see if someone was really into it, how I might get into it. But I mean, essentially, I do pee on people because you're squirting.

Yeah, and I've you know, recently discovered that I've just been peeing all over the place.

But does it smell like pee? Does it smell like Karen?

You know sometimes sometimes I would say yes, but it's not like a strong set like piss smell, so like I know, it's mixed with some other shit.

But yeah, anyway, we've.

Got onto this topic of peace and how oh because I said he hated me, he's marking his territory.

Also, he kind of I peed on him a little bit in the shower. Didn't didn't really flow anybody's boat. How's your relationship going on over there?

How is everything? I haven't seen you in three days. I feel I haven't seen you in a week. What's going on over there? It's happening, I mean, life changes. Everything's good, you know.

I think, when how long have you been dating? Now it's been April.

Can we can we can we pount the same?

Wait at the end of April, so may June to lie It'll be four months at the end of this month, so mine is like five months. Yeah, so everything's going well. I think that I've just realized that.

I'm not girlfriend of the year. I am sure. It's not that I'm not girlfriend of the year.

It's just like I think that I'm learning. I'm learning someone totally new, totally different than you know, my previous relationships. My other relationship needed attentiveness in a different way, and uh, and it was in it was in more of an

Fake it and even if I did fake it, he would know.

And that's scary, Like that's kind of scary to be it's scary, but also like it's kind of I asked for it because in my previous relationship, like I'd be like, hello, can't you tell I'm fucking unhappy?

Can't you tell like something's wrong.

You're not gonna ask me, You're just gonna like let it be like this, You're gonna just let You're just gonna come in the house. And I'm gonna sit on the couch and not say shit to you, and you're

I probably could cater to him more.

I just I don't know, like I was saying, I think I was talking to I don't know my mom.

I've talked to a few people about this that, like, I.

Think that there's parts of me that are still on I can't access yet with him, because I shut those things down after my relationship ended, because I gave so much of myself so freely, because I was so.

Young when I entered into my relationship, that.

Those things that I could easily access before don't are don't come so easily these days. I'm glad you you said that, because I feel similar.

I don't know how to be in anything healthy, kind and nice, and it is hard for me to like be super expressive and like receive kindness because I was in such a unkind relationship twice. Young Bay was not that nice either, right, And it's just it's an interesting thing to observe myself in a relationship that's healthy and not be able to reciprocate it and then be called out about it and be like, oh shit, that's right, I'm not being nice.

You're so nice. I'm not being nice.

I did some shit last week that was like very not nice and very not thoughtful, and I realized I was seriously just testing the waters to see if how.

Far you could go.

Yeah, and also like maybe just thinking like hey, whatever, like I'm a sabotaging it, well, sabotaging myself and doing some dumb shit. And I just realized, like, damn, bitch, you so used to having fuck boys around that you're not even you're not you can't even receive someone who's who's being kind to you, being commun communicating to you. And then he's like, well, you don't really communicate with me, and I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about.

He didn't dump me. So here we are still girlfriends. Yeah, I think I realized I did.

I I went to the beach the other day with my man and my friends, and I took some shrooms.

And the chocolate one. Yeah you took one? No, I took more. I took two. I took like four, like the no the ones Oka a new bar. Yeah.

Side note, DMUs Everything was just start a side business of mushroom makers.

We are not drug dealers. So many people says to me, where I'm in La, where are the mushrooms? And I'm like, I don't know.

I just like happened to fall upon them. Someone just gave me these and a friend of mine that were they did.

It was yeah, it was.

It wasn't before we go to our next episode. It wasn't like intense or anything, but it was cool. But I have this realization that I am getting everything I want, but I just it's hard for me to accept that it's here. It's hard for me to now accept that it's here. And now I doubt everything, even some of the things he'll say.

Like I'm just I just have a really hard time with men being right in general.

And I realized that, and I always have to like do my Like he'll say something and I'll be like, m let me check on that, let me like research that more, cause I don't know if you're right. And also my man is also just very he like he's very opinionated. He knows a little bit about everything, and sometimes I think that can come off as just like a know it all and for me, like sometimes that it annoys me, and so like I think that's where the disconnect sometimes comes from.

And but like also I'm gonna know it all.

So I just I I just realized that, like I just need to like accept what I have, what I'm getting, and like not try to push it away and be.

And question it so much. But overall, I'm happy. I'm good, We're good.

He's the bomb, and that's it.

I agree, I'm really happy.

I feel like my relationship is like a constant scene from love Jones. Honestly, he's just always lighting candles and offering to give me massages.

Drinks. It's just I'm so hydrated. Honestly, Oh my.

Every love jokes, Oh my god. This is a romance movie. So that feels really nice. It feels really good to just have someone who's caring and attentive and gentle, and I just need to I really feel like after you get out of any long term relationship, you might need therapy.

Everyone, every single one.

I agree, because I have become hyper aware of how my last relationship, not even young Bay well him too, but like one before that with that baby Daddy, that was like forever. It's still so much in my system, and as I'm trying to move on from that, I'm trying to rebel from that. Have a new boyfriend and a new relationship, and you can't do both.

I've been a very rebellious.

Place, like fuck niggas, fuck calling me five times, don't ask me any questions, don't ask me where I'm going, don't ask me I'll see you on Friday. Don't even ask me no soups, don't ask me questions one day through Friday.

I'm an adult and was like, hey, bitch, this is how people show you they care about you.

And I'm like, oh, right, but I'm so used to it being like an invasive you're doing something wrong energy that I just after I got the relationship, but I said, fuck all that.

Nobody asked me any questions.

Well, how's therapy going for you? With better help, it's actually going really good. I realized that I probably need to.

I thought I was healed from things that I'm not healed from, and I need to take time to be like, hey, can we address these things that I'm obviously not over because I see these patterns in this relationship.

But it's still going really well.

I'm happy to just be like meeting right in my living room or in my bed or on my phone, you know, once a week, and I have a female therapist because I prefer to have like a female energy, and so it's just like really like a older woman, mature talk every week. That is just keeping me grounded, honestly, and I'm really grateful for it, and I feel like it's helping me be, you know, be girlfriend of the year, because right now I'm like, eh, I'm like ho.

Of the year kid. Yeah, No, I feel you, I feel you.

I mean, it's constantly you have to constantly check in with yourself, and it does it does help when you have I mean, I guess like a therapist can. It's kind of like an accountability partner, like and I think we are each.

Other's accountability partner too, But sometimes it's.

Good to have, like a someone who doesn't know you, has no you know, preconceived notions on what your life was like, you know, what, what relationships you've been in, and can just kind of give you a really clear perspective and clear steps on like what you need to do to.

Reach the goals, reach your goals.

Cause like I know my therapist, she she's like that, like she actually gives me real advice, and like that's what I really want out of a therapist.

I want someone who's actually gonna.

Like bitch, tell me what to do, don't therapize me.

That's my betterhelp too, because if one doesn't work, you don't have to go to this entire problem. I mean, like you do have to go to the process of getting ig know someone, but you can just feel like this is not working, let me try again, and then like maybe find someone who better works for you, and it's just not like you don't feel I also feel like you don't feel as bad breaking up with a therapist and moving on because it's still the same group right now.

If you guys haven't checked out better help, you really really should. They they're really it's I've never experienced therapy like this, obviously because of COVID. I've obviously never had therapy over the phone, but honestly just kind of like being able to really pick and choose my therapist, like I actually asked for I want a black I want a black woman. I want her to be around this age,

It's actually very affordable. It's super affordable too or anything like that.

You don't even need insurance, but like it's really affordable, like because before.

I'm spending so much money on therapy. After like because my therapist.

Stopped taking my insurance and I was like I loved her, so I was like and we had already like built this whole thing together.

She knew everything about.

Me, and like I've been going to her for a few years, and I was like, I can't afford two.

Hundred dollars of sessions. This isn't gonna work. Well, that's the thing.

And even with me, like we so often get caught up on like I don't have insurance.

And I'd be like, fuck it, I don't need it. I will say fuck it, I don't need a whole bunch of shit.

I got into car accident and I was trying to convince Eric I need to go to the hospital. She's like, ah, bitch, she do. I'm like, I don't have a sharance. It's it's too much. And you know, so like I think we push pushed aside our mental health, and we prioritize going out to eat and drinking and doing all this other shit. But we won't be like, here's sixty dollars this week so I can get my mind right, and let's be real, Like I blow sixty dollars on appetizers and tequila.

I do, so it's easy without blinking.

So it's just really about investing in yourself.

You mentioned breaking up with your therapist, and I feel like this is a great way to segue into today's episode.

We asked you guys to.

Submit your best breakup stories, and you guys delivered as usual. So this week we wanna share your guys' stories, and one of ours. I think I have actually a pretty funny, well, it's actually not funny. It's just it's fucked up breakup story.

Because breaking up is hard, you know, and sometimes it's hard.

Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's very overly dramatic. It's a lot of things, and I think highlighting the funny the lows is important because if there's one thing we can all relate to here right now, like you might be listening and you might not be a mom, like you've probably broken up with someone or been broken up with So let's just gather around, come hither, come hither, and let's.

Share our breakup stories, our heartaches and triumphs.

Okay, this one, so this didn't happen to me, but it was my brother who did this to one of his baby mamas. The fact that this begins with one of his baby mamas. No, I'm just gonna hear, mind you. I think my brother has like fifteen children. Oh not kidding, many of them the same age. Oh no, don't share that please. Anyways, he was living with a woman who had just had this baby. I think he just wasn't feeling her, so he told the woman that he had to leave the place he was running.

He packed the entire place up. She had literally just given birth.

He put her in an extended living hotel and moved all his stuff into storage. As soon as he got her settled into the extended stay with their newborn infant, he moved all of his stuff right back into the place he was renting.

He did all that work just to get her out.

I've never realized the extent mangoes not to not be honest with women.

And that was my own flesh and blood. Damn mo.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. Okay, I've never done anything bad drastic. But have you not, like when a nigga will not leave your house, pact like you have to leave, and then actually leave and then come back.

I'll text you, yeah for sure, if anyone to get the hint if you had, if you didn't know, this was what you do if someone won't leave your house, You pretend like you have somewhere to go, drop around the block, pull back up.

But damn your own baby. But my whole thing is you born. I don't want to move when I have to move. That's a lot like you packed up all your shit in your apartment and moved my nigga. How that is. I hope you got movers because that shit is a lot of stress. Just I mean, there'd be no other way for you to get her to leave, because I would be like, I just had your baby, I'm not going anywhere.

Why wouldn't you.

Just go somewhere for the extended say like, why don't you get the fuck up?

If you just say? God, that was like you got to move all your shit.

I mean, honestly, that just proves in all reality, like fuck boys genuinely do just exist. You had no reason to go to that that was That's ridiculous, And then the other information is just too much.

God.

I wonder if she ever found out, like the baby mom.

She had to know, because who would even drive back over there to see because you would just assume.

But like where like you have a you share a child, never gonna see where this nigga is going or lives like I don't know.

That's that's that's fucked up, guys. Okay, so here's the next one, Hi, ladies. I have an epic breakup story to share.

I was in a relationship with someone for almost seven years.

We met in college, stayed together after he graduated, and moved in together. At some point during our relationship, I since my partner was not being faithful. I felt the need to go through his phone and found out he was still in contact with his ex. I confronted him and he denied it. He confessed he entertained her, but nothing happened. Niggas, oh said, Marriott got the fuck up anyway, For all the men that actually like that is true, All your niggas have fucked it up for you.

I will never believe in nigga that says that.

Anyway, we continued our relationship even though in my heart I knew he had cheated.

I feel you, girl.

I started a new job and I was feeling a little low about myself. I lost my self esteem, I lost my I had lost some self esteem. At my new job, I surprisingly had a lot of my bet a girl. I found myself giving in and having sexual relationships with them because they were making me feel really good about myself, something I was not getting from my partner. I noticed I never really felt guilty about cheating on him. At this job, I met a really nice guy. He

I was so upset and confused. I had another dream.

Same night where I was swimming and noticed there was a drowning baby. I was trying to swim down to save them and I couldn't. Those dreams, to me, were messages that I needed to get out of my very comfortable relationship. I woke up and he asked me what our plan should be for Valentine's Day. I said, I don't want to spend it.

With you anymore.

He was so shocked, but we both knew it was over our Valentine's On Valentine's Day, I took my work crush to balance to a Valentine Times Day concert in San Francisco with Melanie Fiona at the mezzanine.

Shout out to Melanie.

Her songs about cheating hit me so hard. I ended up getting drunk so romantic, I know, and me and my work crush ended up stopping in a parking lot.

Coming home and getting it on.

Eight weeks later, I'm pregnant with a man I don't really know, after getting out of a seven year relationship.

We have three kids and are still together to this day.

My ex later emailed me to confess that he did cheat on me and that he knew I had also cheated on him. We made peace and said our goodbyes for good. That is my breakup story that ended up and happily ever after.

Damn wait, I want to be clear.

She broke up my boyfriend aftere Melanie Fiona concert.

So she decided after this dream that she had her post.

So basically the dream was that she was they were getting married, but she had no wedding dress and she had no wedding ring. And then she had another dream that same night where there was a drowning baby and like she couldn't was it that she couldn't save him or something she couldn't get to him, and like basically she took it as a sign that she needed to end it. She woke up, he was like, are you gonna Are we gonna send balance? What are we going

Really know him.

But you know, they have three kids now and are still married and so it ended up working out. And then the nigga email ran said, yep, I did cheat on you.

Well, ladies, go with your gun. Yeah, go with your gun. Yeah, that's a true story of you know, some don't ignore the signs.

If you're having dreams about drowning babies and naked ringless husband's, specifically ringless husbands.

It's probably not going to work out.

The nigga's a hud, You're not a dream decipher over.

I should be could ride and I'd be like bitch in this dream and nigga was homing and you you were falling and said stop wait what happened.

You saw an eagle fly over. Yet for sure the nigga was cheating. Oh, it's niggas cheating.

Answer is it's a nigga's always the answer, no matter what the dream is, Niggas are cheating.

Pick up story number three.

So I dated this guy who was already an ex from high school and college years after college. Wait started an X from high school and college years after college. He had his own place on the South side of Atlanta, and I had then, and I had mine in the city.

So here we come.

So here he come, talking good game about how he wants to be together and live together and pay rent, and all I have to do is worry about the bills.

Lies.

This nigga moves in and when I asked him for the rent money, he tells me he just moved and doesn't feel like he should have to pay the rent the first month. Nigga, what okay? So he ends up paying the rent late when I tell you, he moved in on the first of June and we.

Were broken up by the thirtieth.

Things that led us to breaking up were he expected me to drop it, drop him off to work on the South Side, and pick him up every day.

Jamie Lyn knows that ain't no right around the corner situation. It's really not. And I was writing a hooptie at the time.

Then he kept dismantling my ancestor altar, which is which is a big no no oh hell no yeah, talking about I'm praying to dead people without having any education, and refusing to read literature.

I gave him day after day, niggas don't read.

Some niggas read. Niggas don't men reading. He was a drink Wayne. He wasn't Jyrhovah's witness, but wasn't witness and shit. So he broke up and it takes him a full thirty days to move out. He takes only some of his things, leaving his bed, which I totally fucked.

True True.

Boo On comes back three weeks later, and when I told him he would have to wait until I got off of work that night to get the remainder of his things, he proceeded to break into my apartment and take his things and most of mine. Tossed all of my books on the floor, obviously not read, realizing the work of the books over the ikea bookshelf, took my

See him again.

And I haven't the end intros maya case of the X. You thought she'd be coming in with the party, right, saying.

Not in my head?

That was that was a good one.

Wait, so she put his sh out No, he stole her ship. She called him and said, Niga, you don't bring my ship back. You're on probation. I'm calling the police. And he brought it, but not the radio because niggas ain't sh the radio.

But like who damn, oh.

My goodness, damn sure, it's just any nigga that steals breaks and in her steals.

Oh my god.

Okay, I kind of just remembered one. Okay, oh my god. This is this is scary. It's a story. It is kind of I guess. Okay, I don't know this will qualify as a breakup story. This is like a stalker story. Okay.

So I broke up with my ex and made him move out obviously, and like maybe we were still move out, but like dabbling, going back and forth whatever, but obviously not together. So just like many I must have done after something intense, you just do weird shit. You just fucking you just try and rebounding, rebounding. Has this nigga at my house? I'm pretty sure I just like found him from like junior high in a DM weird ass guy.

I'm like, nothing's weirder than being alone.

By and we're chilling drinking, and like I'm already really paranoid because this person was already hyper stalking me on a regular basis in the relationship. So like after relationship, he would like call me hundreds of times, sex hundred times. And I lived in a two story building, and I thought, for sure, you know, every little noise I heard, I thought, you know, he was at the door.

I was always at the.

Window, closing blinds, turning off lights, clocking doors. Anyway, we're sitting on the bed and smoking. And so the way my apartment is set up, I'm on the second floor. There's not even anyone belieth me. There's just a gate or something.

And I just hear the gate.

I hear it, and something tells me this is this can't be good. And you literally there's no You have to scale a wall. You have to be Spider Man to get to this window. And this grown ass man somehow Spider Man to the second floor. And I heard the gate. He must have climbed on the gate. So I tell this other nigga get on the floor. So we get on the floor and I start crawling to the guest room.

So we crawled to the guest room because I just got scared because there's a window in my bedroom, not thinking what's gonna happen if he climbs through your window? Bitch me. And this nigga was a random nigger in the other room, and I hear the window open, and I must be froze. I'm like, what the fuck is about to happen? So the nigga just gets up walks to the other room. I just stuck. I was just stuck. Walks in the other room, open to the shit, you know.

He just opened.

He's like, what's she doing, my nigga? That's all you're here? Yeah, I was saying, man, what she doing my nigga? This is crazy. You look crazy right now.

He's like, this is my house. He's like, but you're at the wind you in the window. I shook it in the other room, nigga, I just tart. The niggera like fall down. He closed the window and then, oh my god, I was such I was such so scared that the next day.

I text him. First, I called my friend.

I was like, act like you were at my house last night, just in case, blah blah blah ass.

I called him.

I'm like, oh my god, please tell me you didn't climb up the window and try and break in the house last night. Because I gave Staycy my key and she took she took on her niggas there and she they told me that someone climbed in the window.

You made him feel so did you believe that?

I don't know, kinda, but that was you know what, I'm a queen of a like making you look stupid because I yeah, because I fucked up bag my cheating dings after we said.

All this shit about niggas, niggas, niggas, weird niggas.

Yeah.

So okay, that was my one of my not so strong points of my breakup stories.

Okay, here is another breakup submission. So I broke up with my first boyfriend because I wanted to date other people. He also kind of cheated by asking my friend for sex, which was convenient. That's definitely cheating, right, Yea, It is that cheating or is that just your fucked up Is it cheating the actual act?

Or is that cheating? It is cheating because had she said yes, you would have fucked her. Right.

I just want to be clear, crystal clear, guys. But then I realized, if I'm going to go out into the world of wolves, I didn't want to go a virgin. So I went back, gave him my virginity, and then broke up with him again.

It was kind of like breaking myself open for the world cracked the egg cock yourself. Disclaimer.

This method of breakup may lead him on, make your ex think you're getting back together because entanglements expression is advised.

So basically, if she was like, I want to break I.

Want to break my virginity or lose my virginity with someone I know and trust, and then done and didn't move on, this kind.

Of leads me to my breakup story. Except I wasn't the virgin. Oh my god. I remember I was dating this guy and.

He was just he was so sweet, and I was in I was in high school and he was older than me, and so you know, when you're in high school you're dating someone older, you think like, I don't know, you're doing something or some shit. But he was still a virgin, and I don't know, it just wasn't we just he just was a little more behind than I was. I just I wasn't feeling the vibes. And but I had never taken anyone's virginity and that was kind of on my bucket list, and so I took his virginity.

Like abandoned me. And I was like, fuck this, I'm gonna take someone's virginity. I'm gonna take a man, I'm gonna take a niggas virginity. So I did that.

I was like, you know what, I'm gonna take your virginity and I'm gonna bring it up with you, but I'm gonna do you a favor because you he wanted to lose his virginity, like he was like really was like ready to lose it, and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna give him the best sex that he's ever had, you know, like the best seventeen year old.

Sex I could maybe like actually it was probably sixteen six, maybe fifteen, Oh God Jesus Christ, fifteen year old sex.

I give you the best fifteen year old sex that you ever fucking had.

You're gonna thank me later. I should hit him up. I still have. I have his instagram. I'm gonna ask him. I'm like, change your life right cracked, you open like a little clamp as you do as you tend to do, as you know.

If you've if you've listened to our ex episode, Eric attends to op people have like a clam.

I need to go back and we listen to that episode. I know, I think I do too. We did this episode with where we interviewed our ex exes and it was it was interesting. It was very interesting. One of Jamila's exes in her clearly don't like each other. I was like, you guys don't like each other, like at all. Still, you were like, shut up, you're lying. You loved me? She did she still does.

I feel like we give you part two. I'm like, how many more exes can I dig up? Okay, okay, so there's another one. But this one I asked my.

I asked in venture Bay.

I was like, what's he asked me, what's the craziest shit you've ever done? And I had to really think, uh, nothing, because I.

Don't love these hoes.

No, but honestly, I really don't do crazy shit like that. I'm like way more logical. I don't know, I just do you not?

You don't just like lie to people that come to your window and make up story. Lying. Lying is one thing when I like when this, when you have when you when you feel like you have to move, I don't go like slip tires. I'm not coming knocking on your crazy as a spectrum.

Guys.

He is a spectrum.

Okay, so I'm not crazy anyway, I asked him. I said, well, what is the craziest thing you've ever done? And this nigga here says, I'm actually still frightened. I'm still frightened about it. You know you did?

You called me like should I be worried? Like I don't know, like you were really worried. And I was throwing myself that I wasn't in line.

I was like, this story is going to top of this, this is this can't happen. So he tells me that when in this twenty was like fucking fifteen years ago. Thank god that he found out this girl he was dating was cheating on him. He followed her because she was getting too cute to just go to her sister's house. He followed her and she wasn't going to her sister's house. She was going to her ex's house.

So this nigga went to her house, took her dogs, get break in the house. I don't I don't know. I didn't remember. Maybe he had a key.

Maybe, think I'm gonna need you to know that part of the story. Okay, his nigga's breakaway.

Seven weeks later, I'm gonna be like, he's picking locks seven weeks I.

Was like, what have got time?

He told me that story four weeks ago.

I was just dying to now it's one little detail. Well, actually I do need to know that now, thanks the fucking lie. So he goes to her house and I guess she had a small dog. He took this small dogs ship. He took a plastic bag, took the ship and smeared it all over her closet and in her shoes, in her shoes.

All like like. He he told me like, he was like, did you have gloves on? He said.

Ship?

I don't know. But I was like, oh, this nigg is crazy. Oh my, it was a long time ago. But also I wondered, I want to know what her reaction was. But she scared and he called the police. He said, call the police. Well, this is what really scared me. Well, he said, I well, I thought about what can I do. I'm not gonna go to jail. Can you not? That's that's that's a damaging personal property. I don't fucking know. But can they prove it? Her

I did. I called.

It was like, oh my god, I'm gonna tell you something. Just girl, listen. I think she was in Mexican. You were in mexicost She called me with like spotty reception.

Can you.

Back again? I gotta get better, but literally like I'm gonna go outside. Doctor he love me? Listen, I don't. I don't think that's flat.

I was like, if that's the case, nigga should be terrified of me, because I don't killed niggas in my sleep, in my dreams and are not little.

And well, I guess in my dreams, not in real life. But I don't know. I mean, I just feel like I just feel like maybe she deserved it. I would you know, there's a lot of things I wish I would act more on. I do wish I was crazier.

I wish that I would be crazier because, like I actually get I was excited to know, like what it's like.

To like do something crazy.

It just follow, like get in my car, turn my headlights off. Follow when they get around the block, like just camp out.

Wait, you know what I kind of want to do it. I would get I get too crazy. If I catch you doing something, I don't know what's gonna happen to you. I'm going to black out.

It's best that I take a step back and because and reevaluate how I feel, because you don't want me to pull up on you.

We don't want that. Oh god, Oh adventure Bay. I know, adventure Bay. Adventure Bay. I need to ask poetry Bay, what is craziest break up story? This is very important? Yeah, but you know, at least one thing.

I did a bit about it. I was like, well, one thing's your show is Nigga ain't lying? This is a true story that I would have been embarrassed to share. But I'm so glad that we're being honest here. I will never lie to you ever.

No, but.

Well, my next breakup story is I was lied too.

So I met my boyfriend, this boyfriend that I dated who was absolutely crazy.

In New York. He was like I should have known, Actually, yeah, I should have.

He was like on the corner like selling what's the fucking ship? Where like you like put give money to kids in Africa.

Like give money to different kids. It was like children. I met him on the corner children like No, it was like a group of them and they were like, hath of these notebooks?

Show me a picture. He's like had the gift of gab. I would give him that he's a Dominican from New York.

Okay, fast I met him. I met him in on a trip.

I was out there with my mom or something and I met him. Have like fell in love like he he oh. He also told me that he was a model for Adulchang Gabana and he showed me, even showed me in pictures and they were all like side profile pictures, so like it looked.

Like him like someone else. He had this portfolio ready to he was showing me.

He was like, yeah, like I bought my model for adulcea gabana, Like this is my side hustle because I care about the kids so much.

I have an apartment. Oh you look, you're from La. Oh I have an apartment in La, like just gift of gap. I was like, oh my god, there's an apartment in LA. He's a model. He cares about the kids. He'd be like, he like might we went to Starbucks. He sat down held were I was like eighteen, okay, and so anyway, so this is at the time. I what was I doing?

Oh?

I was working? Oh my god, I was working. We started dating. Oh I wasn't working. I get in records yet. And that's where I met my ex that we interviewed. But uh, which he gets into the story too. Wha wait, this is New York year. I was living here.

He was in me.

The thing I'm talking about that lives to me was living in New York. I was on a trip and I met him and I like made him my boyfriend on that trip. You know, you do ship like that, like you go to six Flags.

Together. Yeah, I don't see each other like four.

Weeks, no, like four months, three months, maybe never again, because like I have a boyfriend though, like legit, like man him and.

We talk of the phone every night for I will fight you. We only met once. I will fucking fight you, bitch. He's coming out here, so like I yeah, anyway, So my dumb asked, like what was I doing, Like I think I I don't know. I had a little bit of money.

I was like working somewhere at the time, and I was started, like he always had a reason why you couldn't buy a ticket out to LA and so I was like buying me. I was like, sugar mama, I'm sorry, Cuddy. I fucked up before Cuddy. I'm being his sugar mama. And like I was flying him out whenever I could, like scrapping up my coins. Like I remember, I asked my mom if he could stay with us, and she was like what the fuck hell no, And I was so upset. I was like, why it was my boyfriend.

Was like, hey, visiting the fuck no anyway, Like I did that a few times. You were in like oh my god, his Dick was so big. He was short. He was like five seven, I'm short five seven, light skin like.

He was like, this is when you're still your lights. Yeah, this is when I was still light skin and he was so he was he was pretty fine at the time. And uh, actually he just sort of following us.

On Instagram recently show I need to see it. I saw him start following us, and I was like, oh no, why in this relationship last it was like nine months? Oh like that, Oh god, what is this hair?

What is that is that him?

Yes? Oh no, buppy, Okay, that's time. But he had like a city. He was ripped anyway, So not only throughout like throughout the relationship.

I had just tried to realize that he was very much a liar, Like he would just lie about show all the time. He did not have an apartment in La, Like there was always a reason why, like we couldn't stay there, Like whenever he'd come out here and be like, oh I'm renting it out to like.

Other models or like just dumb shit other model. Yeah, like it looks like a con artist. He didn't look like it used to be fine. Yes he was finer. No, yes, I promised, crowing, because I have to.

Go deep, bitch, I was eighteen. You gotta go deep, deep, like way deep. Anyway, there was no Instagram deep. He was more chiseled than skinny, Okay, so I uh he I realized that he was like a liar and pretty much also that like it was very I started to realize that that adult chick of.

Bona ad probably was not real either. Okay.

So throughout our relationship, he had this friend and he this girlfriend and when it was like his best girlfriend, and like he was always with her, and every time I went to New York, she happened to be out.

Of town and like she couldn't meet up with us. But he always assured me, like she doesn't trust me, like she's not my time at all.

In fact, she is missing an arm. She told me she was missing in armady. Like that was like how much he wanted me to like just understand that it was just friends. Like there's no way he would date a bitch with one arm.

So it's just definitely not it, ain't it.

So at some point, like I knew it was like we our relationship became very like volatile.

We would argue all the time. He didn't trust me. I didn't trust him. At some point we got engaged. Wait actually, like yeah, it was a like eighteen.

Like maybe nineteen at this time, Like I think I had my birthday, but like because my mom was like another time I got mad at my mom, she wouldn't let him stay.

So we stayed at my girlfriend, my girlfriend Gigi's house.

Shout out to Gig and she had her own apartment at the time, and so I just remember like she left and like we were fucking on the couch.

And like he was on top of me and he was like we were just having sex.

And he was like, marry me, marry me, and I was like yes, And then he pulled out the ring like he had a ring, you guys, he had.

I still had the ring. Oh my god, I'm gonna post it on Patreon. I'm gonna show you the ring.

Guys.

It is like you need to show him this picture. He's not fine. And I scrolled to the bottom and he's still not fine. Okay, it's like you gotta post this one. Particularly Oh god, so that's not a good one. I'm sorry, none of them were good. Shut up. Anyway.

The ring, it was like this tiny, the tiniest speckle of a diamond, like the tiniest Yes, I still have.

It, just just for fuck's sake. I'm actually glad I kept it now. But yeah, I remember, like.

I brought my friends to dinner to tell them we were engaged, Jessica.

And my friend Natalie.

Oh yeah, I think I kind of now remember this story now, yeah, And they were yeah, And I was like, you.

Guys, I brought you here to tell you that we are engaged. And they were like, we're gonna go to the bathroom and we'll be right back.

And they both left to go to the bathroom, like these bitches are going to talk shit about me, and they did. And anyway, I at some point, like in the relationship started going just it wasn't healthy, and I started working at Geffen Records, which is now was acquired by Interscope whatever. I was an intern there, and that's how I'm at my my ex boyfriend and he was my boss, and I ended up I started cheating on my boyfriend with him, and.

He wasn't a real boyfriend to begin with, because he was a.

Real boyfriend, and also because he didn't live here, and also because he was lying they were and that's what you do. Yeah, so can you realize you it wasn't an adulta in goodband?

Oh my, you know what?

Also this thing I gave you an STD Oh no, we're definitely posting hist That was the end of the line. Actually, that was where it ended. That was like the end of our relationship for sure. Chlamydia is I don't have it anymore time. She's a survivor.

If I'm a survivor of chlamydia, no, I know there's a lot of you out there. I feel you in solidarity with THEIA survivors.

No, I've heard it's really bad. It's very like I don't even like I'm not. I just I didn't have any symptoms. Actually, I just went to go get a regular and found out that Oh my god.

Yeah, so.

Is that okay?

I just want to know for the record, is that a story we could tell Lenna and Irie just to prevent them.

Probably.

Yeah.

I'm for sure telling her about my CHIA story.

And I think people need to, like, I feel like we need to destigmatize the shame of sexual transmittent disease because people are out here fucking and so somebody's getting this should happened. People will be reckless like this naked anyway, So we broke up, well, we broke up, and then he still was trying to get back He was still trying to get back together with me, and like my dumb ass was still like I don't know, entertaining it whatever.

I get an email from this girl.

And she's like, Hi, my name is blah blah blah. I'm best friends with your man's girlfriend and they've been they've been in a relationship for a year and a half, and you know, she has told her that you guys are just friends and that like, and I was like, what, No, we've been together for nine months. He told me that she has one arm and that they are just friends. No, he told her that you have one arm.

The ship you can do before Instagram she told you. She told me her thing, you have one arm, and you just give him money. I was, I'm literally gonna d m him. Who the fuck thinks of the one arm?

Like that's the worst thing you can come up with, that's gonna make that's gonna brings off her.

Well.

You know, men they always feel.

Like if they downplay a woman's like physical physical and physicality to another woman.

It's for sure guarantee that that means we're not they're a trial. They would have never fund that nobody had one arm. He totally made it up, totally made it up, just fucking just no one asked you to do this. So here's the thing, though, I guarantee and I also probably would have never found out about her.

I mean, at some point I would have got this email, but like I, he could have just been in New York children with the bench, like I never would have even known, Like he didn't even have to do this live.

It was just a dumb ass live. I guarantee you, wherever he is in the world, he still is a pathological life.

So then that was that, the chamydia and then the one arm, the dual one arm and change.

That was the end of it for me.

We broke up, and then I and I jumped straight into my next a traumatizing relationship.

Heaps I were here discussing all of our traumas every week.

Yeah, and for years that guy stopped me, like heavily stopped me, would not leave me alone, flew out to La, showed up at my mom's house just.

Like your mom's, and she was like, you wanted him to stay in my house, bitch. Yeah, like showed I like, I think I brought him there one time and he like, and that was like three years before, and he remembered where she lived. Three years later. It was like he came back three years later. Could hit my friends up for years.

So you tell the one under girl's friend that he proposed to you, but you were actually engaged.

Of course, of course I did. I think at some point too, I had. I said, you know what, I think, this is like a promise ring. This is not an engagement ring. It's a promised ring. It was very small, and I could not accept this as my forever. And also you were crazy, but that day.

Was so good.

I'm minus the dirty dick's that I've seen him. I'm even more confused.

I am gonna find the photo you have. Sebastian Spashion can vouch for me. He was a mine back ben he was.

He was smaller and he was chiseled, and he just was like got it, know, he.

Was just so.

If you want to see Erica's other half to this epic breakup, go to patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices. We're gonna call Sebastian live, get his response. Live to these looks, this engagement ring and this overall relationship.

That's right.

Go to patreon dot com backslash good Mom's bad Choices so you can see what this fool looks like.

I'm telling you, Fash, you better not for me. Negga, don't want to do it right now.

I need to know.

Well, that was entertaining. Yeah, so breakaps are not always great.

While we were sitting here doing breakups, I came up with like three other episodes. We need to get everybody's best cheating stories and the dumbest shit you ever did for some pussy or something like Erica accepting as a very tiny ring on the couch of her friend's house.

Engagement type shit. I mean, he literally asked me to marry him while he was inside of me.

I feel like that is just fucking that's just really manipulative, And of course I'm gonna say yes. I probably was like mid orgasm too. I don't even know if I said yes to him or the ring.

I have no idea, but either way, still unweed to engagement so true.

I've been engaged twice and don't you do modern day Elizabeth Taylor. Anyway, you guys, we are having our first meet up since COVID. We are having a social distancing meetup in downtown LA on September fourth. It's a driving movie, y'all. Yeah, we're gonna go watch next Friday. And you guys definitely want to come. I know you guys have been dying to get out. You guys are supposed to stay.

In your car, so you know, be safe, do that.

And there's also contactless food service and the food service. If you guys have in La, you've probably heard of Comfort La Bomb Black Owned, Yeah so good Bomb Soul Food Restaurant, and who else. Oh there's a Mexican restaurant. What are they called?

Fuck, I'm forgetting.

It's on the website and Mama Soul is going to be baking and having all of her delicious cakes. You've probably seen us post about it. But it's an outdoor cinema event. These events are gonna be happening throughout LA, I mean throughout downtown LA, and it's just a really dope experience.

I'm really excited. You know, I've never been to a drive in.

You haven't know.

There used to be one in the valley years ago, there were still two in LA. You need to really do that. I am about to. Oh yeah, I'm shocked that this is your first son. I know, and I love Next Friday, so we're not bringing kids?

Hell, okay, okay, yeah, let's be clear, guys, probably don't bring your kids because it's next Friday and I'm gonna be smoking weed.

I'm gonna be hot boxing the fuck out of my car.

Sounds like a great plan, right, I'm gonna have snacks and shit and ordering food. Yeah, so it's gonna be fun. Comes and it's like our first meetup in months. Yes, I know, if you guys like, we usually do monthly meetups sometimes we try to.

Sometimes we even do two.

The last one we had was in New York and it was so amazing. I'm actually like, if we were gonna end at all meetups, I'm glad it ended on that one because we have met with some of our New York tribes and we had the best dinner.

And like the best time. Yeah, we had so much fun with them. We went Dan say yeah afterwards, it was just it was just fire. So I'm trying to like relive that slash top that this time, So come through.

Hang out, roll your joints, bring your wines, bring your friends, build that car up.

Go to Instagram and get our discount code.

Yeah, if you check out our link in our bio, there is the link right there, and the discount lasts until this Friday, So you definitely want to go out and purchase those tickets before.

Then Friday, the twenty first August the twenty first, twenty twenty.

Yeah, and they're almost sold out, so I highly suggest that you get your your tickets now because I think last time I checked, they were already at fifty percent capacity.

Because obviously it is a social distancing event and we need space. Yep. Anyway, you guys, I hope.

You have oh wonderful We.

Hope you're not cheating or getting cheated on. But if you are, life goes on, sorry or good for you, Life does go on.

Just open the relationship up. And if you haven't yet, if you could, please do us the favor and go and rate and review us on Apple podcast. It just takes five seconds. Give us that five star rating.

Don't assume our content if you're not, you know, just at least saying hey, I liked it.

Yeah, it's very we're asking very little of you. Yeah, there's like a good amount of thousands of people listening right now. Please just take one second. It would make a big difference for us today. Just do it today.

Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the Apple iTunes whatever the fuck Apple podcasts, keep scrolling and at the bottom.

I think it says rating with you. Boom.

It's that easy, thank you in advance. All right, Well, we'll catch you guys next week.

The boots from a cup of

Her luck again again he La