Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was a good woman who always made good choice.
Ship.
We're good Mom's Bad Choices.
You single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and.
Found out they were so bad after all.
We're experts, Overshares and your new besties.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mela.
Happy Wednesday?
Did she happy?
Hemp day House? Would it? Do?
I have my favorite hoe in the building?
Do you really?
First off, I am no longer that babbite. You'll always be a hoe in my eye.
We had hovered.
Okay, So if you're listening to this podcast, you already know who it is because you know that voice.
If you don't, let me introduce myself. Because your girl's an author. Now I'm ann author. No, it's your girl. May be one half of the decisions decisions formally horrible decisions emphasis on whrror and now the author of no Hol's bar.
Hey, well, welcome to the show. Welcome to the author club.
Baby, no ship, I'm trying to catch up to y'all. Guy, damn, how does it feel?
Y'all?
Are what a year and a half? Two years?
Two years?
In two years? And as authors? Did it change? Like the price of y'all's pussy?
Like I wrote a birl, this is your interview. Oh look at ye, send your little podcasting ass now.
But yes, the price, look at me?
I go write it to interview And y'all, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Any guy I date? Have you ever such an author? I didn't think so.
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie even going on the breakfast club. Holy shit, I don't even think I can fuck anyone regular anymore? Like your girl been on the fucking breakfast club?
Okay, Like I mean, after you hit certain blacks in your career, you're like, do you know where the fuck I am?
Oh? That's just listen during the week, like the drop of the book. If they get me on, like Jimmy Kimmel or something like that, it's fucking over. I mean, I'll become a fucking nun because I'm gonna feel like no one is worthy of my pussy.
Have you been to the Breakfast Club? Oh you haven't?
All right, Sorry, we're not in the same We can't. You know, we can't do this. But no, it's it's been dope.
I understand that. Did your price go up after you won the Breakfast Club Erica?
I was already had a.
I was gonna say, y'all got, y'all got?
Man? I tell her Landa all the time.
What the fuck are you talking to?
I'm an author? He tries to talk about my spelling and should like, do you know have you read a book? I didn't fucking think so.
Zip it? Man, he's agreeing over there, He's like yeah, and then you.
Guess me, he says, No, I that'sked about the fuck I thought.
That's what I thought. No, it's it's it's interesting now because like, Okay, been talking on the podcast saying all my whole ship over the last eight years, right, but people are just now getting into podcast us and it's now a part of life, right, bitch. Books are forever. People have been reading since the fucking the Bible, right, they've been reading you know what I mean, Jesus Basically, I'm basically a Bible Thumper, Mark, what are they?
What are the People's name is Mark, Jeremiah and them John Them.
My story isn't a book to b.
So yeah, it was.
I think though some of the stories from the podcast are in here, but in such a different way, like I remember and maybe we could talk about anything that y'all have shared that you see it. And when we first started the book, it was really important for me and me and Weezy didn't agree on this at all. I was like, I need to be able to include my shame and being someone who sexually liberated. She felt like it went against the purpose of our brand, like
we celebrate sex, you can't put shame in there. And I was like, you.
Acknowledge this actual liberation without what you had to come to period.
And so I was in this therapeutic journey like really like going back into what what my sexual history look like and in the reflection, really feeling like really bad about a lot of the decisions I've made, the men I let inside me around me, And so I was just happy to include that because that's what you kind of don't get on the podcast, like it's not as
much reflection you get. You get the fucking regret of these niggas, but not like I'm literally in that book being like, yeah, you were fucking pathetic, you were desperate, you were actually insecure. Like I have a whole chapter do married men really treat you better?
I wouldn't ask you about that because that, Yeah, I saw that chapter. I wanted to ask you, like do.
They Well, so, so it's a chapter about and you.
Know how funny.
Way let's go for a second because Okay, so I've watched you through a few different phases. I saw I met you during your married man phase. Yes, and so that that was like when we first came on horrible decisions and we went, yeah, you were telling me a bunch of ship and we realized that we knew a nigga that you pegged and did.
Was that the same that all one meeting?
Oh, that first meeting.
It was great, nic that was iconic meeting.
I don't think I've met anyone and fell in love so quickly, like we're best friends now, like and we weren't supposed to like each other, but we did. And literally it was it was a story of like adult womanhood friendships meets New York that would happen nowhere else. We were fucking swinging topless in a rich man's fucking loft looking over the Brooklyn.
Bridge to some strangers apartment that had like church windows.
Wait wait wait wait wait wait church windows ketemy wait wait. The fact that they were sitting at the table behind us like they weren't even like we didn't even pass them in the club. There was hey, what are you doing after this? Call us? Okay, come over.
Like sure, no problem, we love you.
Hey, no knowing now. So it's one of those things too. Being able to put all my like hotels and growth in a book reminds me of how many times I could have ended up chopped.
Up in how many holy hey, you are you supposed to be here?
Like?
Because what the fuck? I didn't come across the craigsflis killer, but very well probably could have. Like it's crazy, but during that time you were in that you were you were in a different season of your life, and you had told me that you were very and you were very convincing because you had a lot of whenever.
You're going through, whatever it is, whatever you're in, you have conviction.
Okay, I say, I mean he's standing she's standing ten toes down, honey, Because I said, I was asking you about married men and you were like, oh no, I love being was like, I love being the side chick.
It's great, it's perfect.
It's crazy because and I do actually lean into that into why I thought they were amazing. I felt like I got the best version of that man. I never was jealous of the wife, never wanted to be the wife. I genuinely, I genuinely felt like, this is fun. There's no responsibility to each other, and I enjoyed or at least believed they were being honest with me. Honestly means a lot in some capacity.
You're probably right. There's a husband that's cheating. He's probably giving the worst pieces of himself to his wife and then coming out it's like what it says to say the weekend, Like, yeah, the weekend, so you're gonna he's gonna bring the fun and the track.
By the way, I just want to read how I started this off, because this is how much conviction I have, like like and and that's what I did with the book. I started off with how exactly my mind was at this time, and then I look back and be like, oh, bit just because you had no self worth. I tell myself about myself. So it says I would like to let it be known that I have been a proud member of the Side Chick Committee, on the board of the Mistress Missions, and an elected official to the Jezebel
Justice League. Does that make me a piece of shit? Perhaps? And I lead it to just yeah, I was all with it.
And when I asked you, because I asked you in that same I think meeting, I said have you ever have you ever been in a relationship? And you were like, no, at that time, I never met a girlfriend. You had never even been a girlfriends.
As a whole adult, Like my first relationship was at the age of thirty twenty nine going thirty from the pandemic. You guys met him, and I think that that was my thing too. I was so glad it took us some time to write this book because when we started it, even the proposal, the chapters were so different because I was still with him, so.
He would have been like a golden style.
He would have been in here like I finally found love, Oh my god. And so we ended up breaking up and there were so many chapters and that I had to switch. But also it was so hard to remember the good fun, even sexual moments, because I hated him so much at the time. I ended up going through therapy and finding all the beauty that was that relationship because it taught me like, oh I do like intimacy,
I do like this. Like that relationship. Yes, was a fucking emotional roller coaster, but it taught me so much about the love that I deserve to have. Now. Whether it was real or not, who fucking knows, because he's a narcissist. But when it felt good, it felt really good, and I said, oh, I deserve this type of feeling, and so that's like, that's I guess one good thing that I got from that fuck Now.
I will say as authors ourselves, I realized too. I think that when you decide to go on this literary journey, like it actually takes you like energetically, like you're not going to finish the book in the same place that you started the book, Like you're just not you're not for us.
It took us almost two years.
Two years I remember you guys would be in Costa Rica literally like we're here to get away from the noise and write our book, and we and.
We hadn't led a retreat, and by the time we finished this book, we had led retreats, and so we had been in city, we had with women, and we had a totally different perspective as to why this book was important. So like hearing that, and like hearing the journey that you're on, I feel like other authors that are writing books like Don't Rush, just.
Because it becomes so much more full and representative of who you really are, especially a book that's nonfiction that includes your stories like do Not Rush, Don't don't, don't give yourself the three months deadline, Because even through my therapy journey and the ending of that relationship, this shaped out to be so much better than I would have Like at the end of the book, it was supposed to be, Oh my god, your girl finally found love and I got my soulmate and da da Da da,
and there were gonna be multiple chapters even about just him with that relationship ending. The end of the book ends up really talking about my disconnection to, or my disassociation to the word need, and it stemmed from me needing men financially a long time, me needing them to somewhat survive, which is why I talk about how I hate the transactional sex I was having. So it ends in the power of me being able to want a
man not need them. And even though men are always like, yeah, women need men, I'm like, no, there's so much power in being able to exist and not need you to complete me. Because I love myself now I'm happy. But also I get to choose you because I like you, not because I like your pocket, not because you can put a rupo. But it's not it's not for survival.
Do you think that your survival like relationship with survival as it pertains to men, does that come from anything in particular, like in your childhood or maybe the first time you had sex, Like where does that? Is it something maybe you saw your mom go through?
Oh for sure, I felt like so. My mom always took care of men and they've cheated, they were disrespectful to her, they all that, and so me growing up, I was always like, oh, I'm gonna have a rich nigga because I ain't gonna have someone broke and disrespect me. Like my mom wore two jobs. She was a single parent, and then men would come in the house. She would pay they phone bill, cook, clean, do everything, and just
be miserable. And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm if this is what a relationship looks like, I'm gonna do it in a mansion like I was saying, I was gonna cry and a Rose Royce, not a Honda, you know, very early on. But I didn't see any healthy, any healthy relationships growing up. And then my dad at the time was a human atm and I mentioned that, like, if we needed anything financially, my mom was trapped. She
didn't have it, Go ask, go ask daddy. And then what ended up happening was he even weaponized the fact that he paid child support. Me and my dad don't talk now. He feels like he is owed for his entire life because he paid child support. Bitch. You paid a little four hundred dollars a month, thinking that we was bitch. And now that I'm adult, I was like a week literally and there's three of there were three of us. He was paying for two kids thinking it
was doing something. Mind you, Yes, eggs weren't thirty six dollars back then. Terrorists over here, but it was just like, boy, like I'm an adult now that that little piece of change ain't do shit, and so like for me now being able to view my dad as an adult, yuck, I wouldn't even be friends with a nigga like you you know what I mean? And so yeah, I think growing up seeing that relationship between men and women, money absolutely was what it was. But I dive into in
the What's Your Price? Chapter, I dive into transactional sex and the fact that I know it was survival sex for me, like I had rent to pay.
Do you remember the first time you had transactional transactional cool?
Okay? So yes, and no, there's there's one in here that was real transactional. Now, when I was in high school, I was dating athletes, so like I remember just dealing with men with money, and.
You were Dad got fashional athletes in high school? How are you sourcing these?
Well? When I met on Facebook while he was in college and he got drafted, he was from Atlanta. Ended up I talk about him in the book because he was on a mission to make me squirt?
Did you tell the people that they were in the book?
Some people, but the ones in which the stories that I talk about it, there's no identifiers, like this isn't you're not gonna get this isn't superhead, right, So yeah, I talk about an athlete that wanted to make me squirt, and then I talk about the athlete that stealthed me and how I had the problem with navigating the assault. I didn't even think.
I was assaulted, but he stealthed you.
Yeah, so he removed the condom without my knowledge and came in me while I was blindfolded. Oh wow, So so here here I am, I'm maybe maybe twenty four, twenty four years old, we're having sex. I agree to go down there, and so I agreed and consented for us to fuck, agreed for him to blindfold me. We agreed for him to wear a condom. Never wanted a kids was an option. And he's like, oh, he's a fucking athlete. So literally he blindfolds me. We're fucking. It's great.
He finishes, and before he removes my blindfold, he stops me and it's like, you're gonna be mad.
Oh no, that is what he said.
And I was like, what if I'm gonna be mad for? And of course he gas lipped me and was like, uh, it just was feeling so good. It was just too good to what I had to like, and so he paid for my Plan B and he gave me a thousand dollars and I literally talk about wow, like I was a saultant, but the psychology around it was but
it felt good and I took the money. So and there's always been just like this conflated thing, and I think we're talking about it now seeing the Diddy case, right when you have the power dynamic, this super megabig you know, football player in his prime at the time as well, and he gave you money, and the guilt.
And shame about I already agreed to X, Y and Z, so I'm obviously guilty about a you know. And it's like it's not the well, it's because we're just living in a society that like doesn't really encourage or celebrate women that say, Yo, that wasn't right, Yo, that was fucking assault. It's almost like, no, you aren't. You shouldn't
have done that. But it's like if I go fucking rob a bank and then also kill the teller, like I'm a thief and like and a murderer, like there's certain you can't you can't just say because a woman has agreed to do certain things, and she is a deserving of assault or deserving of being like blatantly lied to, deserving of being like a boundary clock crossed. And it's so like deeply ingrained into our society that we also adopt the fucked up narrative that like I deserved this.
But not only that is the advancement of knowledge and language, bitch stealthing. I just learned about what the fuck that was. So I even start that chapter with I'm God's chosen because I didn't get sexually assaulted till twenty seven. Then I go back and realize, oh, wait, no, there was there was an assault at seven that I put in the back of my brain, and then the assault at not only twenty three. Two athletes did that to me.
The other one didn't get the story. He didn't make it in the book, but there were two and when I was eighteen, and the second time I was twenty three. So here I go thinking like, who, I'm God's chosen because it took so long for me to experience this sexual assault, that this baggage, this trauma that most women carry, not even realizing.
Oh it's happening also times.
Yeah, and you just didn't even know, yes, you felt like you were violated, but at the time, that wasn't a conversation about being sexual assault.
And he's also very confusing because at seven at like I'm also someone who's been assault like molested at a young age. At some point, just your body is going to be aroused it feels good, and then there's the confusion, like, but it felt good and my body responded this way, but then I'm holding the guilt and like confusion. You your body, literally the trauma in your body is also confused, and so it takes for you to have the language, it takes for you to feel empowered and independent enough
to be like wait, hold up. And a lot of times when you're that young, your body hides those type of those type of that type of trauma from you because you can't handle it. You can't process it.
Yeah, you can't.
The only think it knows is to block it out and to block it out and to numb yourself out. And what will happen in adulthood. You'll have consensual sex and be able to easily block shit out or go so far, and then when you don't want to do something, it's easy for you to be like okay, because you've done that even in places you don't remember a lot of times and you're like, oh okay, and you just shut down and you leave your body. And I've done it so many times and like not realizing, like why
do I feel this way inside? But it's not connecting to like my heart and my mind because bitch, you don't even remember. So there's like such deep psychology like that goes with it that it takes a lot of time to like educate yourself and really be brave enough to dig back in to your history and after because a lot of times when that happens to you, I don't want to remember this shit. No, but then you have the opportunity to have like I feel like it's like literary therapy.
This no, this was I sat with my therapist to get like I brought up so much of my childhood that I've been with my therapist for four years. We got to my childhood when we got to this book. Because I disconnect myself from my past. I hate my teenage self and I am in spite right now of who I was in my twenties. I'm like she she was,
I literally talk in like third person. She was I hate all the stuff she did, and I and I talk like it's it's not me, not realizing that I don't get to sit here and talk to y'all and be this empowered person without the shit that she did, or without the mistakes she made and learned from. So it was like the therapy process of this was so dope. And then it continued after. Right after I finished the book, I went celibate, and and celibate abstinent. Don't fucking come
from you, bitches. I don't go to church, but it's one of them, got damn words. So I went celibate and stopped drinking because I had to have the reality check of my relationship with sex and liquor, sex and alcohol, my safety with men. I have to drink to fuck.
For a long time I did too, been blacking so you don't feel you know, oh, they're attached to it.
There's times where I've woken up with partners and been like, DDE fuck last night because of blacking out, Like and it had to be like, WHOA, not only are you drinking to fuck this thing that you enjoy, right, you're drinking because you don't feel safe. I learned that I'm not the extrovert party girl I thought I was. I'm really a recluse and like to be alone and really
don't like people like that. I thought I liked being around a whole lot of mo the parking, No, bitch, it's because every time you go out you have a drink in your hand. And so learning myself through the book process, but then also through cold turking liquor and sex also transformative.
One time, I mean Orlando were having and he choked me out and I was riding him, and I had like went out to eat and I had like my tie or something, and like he choked me, and I was riding him and I was fine, and then I must have like blacked out. I must have fainted a little bit. And then I came back and I looked at him and I had to like the first thing I thought was like, oh my god, like I drank too much, Like I didn't remember where I was at, and I just start crying. He's like, oh, you didn't
like that. I was like, no, that just took me to a place that I haven't been to in a very long time.
Oh wow.
And there's been times I've been with niggas and I blacked out drunk, and I'm like, who is what? Oh? Uh? Yeah, you know, but like, wow, it just dragged it drugged me back into a space that I had not been in so long. And it took me a minute to like to put it together, like why was I so triggered by him? Like by that? But I was like no, no, no, no, no, I don't I don't like that because my first thing
was like how much did I drink? Yeah, knowing that that is a pattern that I had been in heavily in my twenties and I had come out of it and been in a safe space, but that reminded me and it triggered me so deeply and remembering like, oh, bitch, there's still some work that you need to do behind these acts, behind these things that you did that you detach yourself from. And yes, you've come a long way, but you don't really come a long way without digging
back into what the fuck? What the fuck was I doing?
Right?
Why?
Right?
Yeah, I'm really proud of you for being able to be here because it has been quite a journey and such an evolution.
How long were you celibate for?
I did I think I was celibate longer than I went without loquor. I was just proud that I was able to make I made two and a half months, almost three months without liquor celibacy. I went maybe four and a half five months.
Are you because you took that break? Do you feel like you're hype? I mean, obviously you're drinking, like, but like more aware of when you're going too far and when you're not feeling safe.
I started getting like like, and I've had lovers of mine be like, Damn, you gotta drink to fuck me. They've said that. They've said that to my face, and I'm like, damn, and I mean, shit, you know what I mean. And that was a hard pital swallow because damn, you're picking up something that I know.
I'm ugh but I haven't I don't want to put yet.
That I haven't unpacked yet. And so that was that was like the push that I needed to do that. And yeah, so that was like I guess from October August through the top of the year. I ended up fucking on New Year's on an island. But but yeah, I that that work. Oh, just don't even get me into it.
But no, let's get into it. Yeah, that's all.
So the crazy part about realizing that connection. And it's so crazy because I have a sister who's twenty seven. My mom is fifty five. I'm thirty four. Without any of us crossed talking to each other. I spoke to both of them separately. They're in therapy doing the same thing I'm doing. Why do I not feel safe with men?
Because you healing? Heals your lady, damn.
Like men like so I talk about my sexual assaulting year, and the embarrassing part is as someone who's only been with black men, who only wants to be with black men, I was so mad that all my assault hers were black. I literally say it in the book, like not even why did he assault me? Fuck? Why was he black? Why did my brother do that to me? Like? Why would he? You know what I mean? I was pissed at that.
I was a place that's supposed to be a safe space, a place that you're supposed to feel safe, a place for having me cry. I think you're ready to come on the retreat now.
No, I'm trying to catch you.
Yeah, but it's it's deep, and it's necessary and it's important that your audience, and our audience sees you vulnerable and sees you talking about this because like you said, like it's one thing to like he he and ha ha and talk about the sex and make light of it, and like you kind of have to to like to get to that part, to get to this point, like
we have to celebrate deeply. We have to celebrate ourselves so deeply in all of our things that that we feel safe coming to the place where like I wasn't safe and this is why I acted out this way.
Well, I think a lot of I think to a lot of sexual empowerment unfortunately that we see on the internet, and the key keying and the laughing is because the women haven't got actually gone under the surface and really explored the darkest parts of why they feel like they need to show up, why they absolutely or why people or why women are hyper sexual Like is it actual? Is this actually you? Or is this your trauma coming through?
But this is a form of protection because you actually don't feel safe and you actually want to repel everyone from you. And this is how I show up. This is me be me being confident in my sexuality because this is my actually my protection from the people that have hurt me, and even further than that, like I think a lot of two like with men black men, specifically black women, US protecting black men to not wanting to not wanting to.
Set them go to jail.
Well, there's a huge community like yeah, you know, it's a huge no snitch community that well.
It's fucking ridiculous.
Like even when you hurt me, I'm still considering.
Like the thought is to protect the abuser, yes, and yes you know like that that that it sucks. It sucks, And I think the work that has to be done in order to feel empowered is what I'm realizing is is sexual liberation. It's not just having the freedom to go and fuck whoever you want to. It's also knowing what your desires are, what you want, what makes good,
and making sure you're doing the pleasure for yourself. Like I tell myself, I'm a pathetic bitch multiple times because I even talk about how wow, sex was actually the way in which I came across confident because if a man fucked me, I got the validation that I like, my whole confidence was centered and if it was wet that juicy, the men wanted it the type been I got and I was like, oh wow, I'm like not confident at all, and I'm seeking validation through the places
I'm not. I don't even feel safe technically, the niggas who don't respect me outside of the bedroom, like there's there's very little respect in. This is such a temporary moment. This is how I feel good about myself and it it that was a hard pill to swallow.
Too, Like your empowerment was totally linked to sex.
It was it was false, like it was false, and I was like, damn, did you did you like yourself? And I think that that's I think that that's what this journey in therapy has done. It has gotten me to like value myself so much more.
Bitch.
It's hard to fuck niggas now because I mean, like, you don't desire it is, Bitch, you don't even know. Bitch, I'm I love myself. It's a little harder to fuck it shit like because I know what I deserve. I have the words in vocabulary to say, this is how I want to be treated. These are the things I want. And as soon as a man admits the baby, a man will tell you what he can't do for you and it's up to you to accept it or not.
So as soon as a man lets me know he can't show up, how I would like him to show up? Oh baby, we ain't got nothing else to talk about. It ain't gonna happen. And I think that for so long I was accepting crumbs, the bare minimum, just to be in the presence of a fine lit nigga with a big old dick, you know what I mean, Like just to be able to say I did maybe right.
But how is this How is this like awakening that you to discuss, like that your sister and your mom are also experiencing right now, Like how has it shifted you guys's relationship too?
I mean, we're The thing is we all got out of relationships with undiagnosed because not many are with men who we perceive to have been narcissists. And so the crazy thing that we don't talk about, like we just talked about sexual abuse, right, I don't think there is enough conversation around what the emotional abuse of an up
and down relationship looks like. A man who wants to humble you, a man who doesn't celebrate you, a man who you know will tie your successes to him being present, a man who's competitive, a man who you know betrays your boundaries and trusts the emotional psychology around also going continuing to go back. That was my first relationship. We broke up thirteen times, and that was, Oh, that's a that's.
A mood a mood.
Wait wait, and and you know what I know, because bitch, every time we did, I brought it to the podcast, so it is fucking chronologicalized on the goddamn show. And he used to suck because you know, we vote record, so I'll be talking about yeah, fuck nigga, y, I'm thinking now fuck that. By the time that shiit Air, I was like, read the comments. There's something.
There's something about podcasting too that people are like, it makes you fucking accountable, and not only I have to hear myself say this shit over and over again these people that I don't even know it makes you be accountable or like, fuck I said this seventeen motherfucking you know.
What's crazy too? As women going through that experience and going back that many times because I was thrilled I was in love with that man. Going back that many times allowed me to understand more so I then got if you listen to the early days in the podcast, a woman kept going back you. I thought she was a weak ass, like you're girl, how could you do that?
Baby?
You know what I mean? And then when it was me, I I literally I couldn't see it until I got out of it too, and I was like, oh shit. But also there's this like dumb ass logic. There's a few dumb ass logics we have to like tell the younger youth, you know they're not gonna listen to because I'm mad that there's stuff that we listen to. His women the older women used to try to tund less, bitch, and you don't really learn until you go through it, so like fucking a guy isn't gonna make him like
you more. And then the other one is you have to fight for love. I used to That was why I kept going back. I'm like, well, they say that relationships are hard and you have to fight for them, and you know you can't just when it gets bumpy. You can't just leave it the first sign. You have to And I was like, yeah, nah, bitch, some relationships deserve to be going after the first They definitely, man.
Oh you leave me so are you leave me so easily?
They do, But I think that because women were romantic, were romantists. Romantic, yeah, romantic on our own individually. I'm not gonna blame everything on the man like we do this ship to ourselves delusion literally like literally when I was with my ex, I remember sitting on the podcast and saying, I don't get to write my love story, Like I don't get to write my story if it starts rocky.
That's just how it is, you know.
And I'm like thinking back now, and I'm like, bitch, that was fucked up, Like that wasn't gonna work from the beginning.
You needed.
Like the back of on the Delulu. I was gonna have to light that.
Up and and and that didn't really have anything to do with him. He didn't feed me that. I fed myself that because that is because that's what I because because I will getting love was being loved was such an addiction for me at that point. I wanted that love to work so badly because I felt in such a deficit of love in my life at that point, so that superseded all fucking logic and anything else.
It had nothing to do with him and the Dick was great, but.
It wasn't like that great, you know what I mean, Like it was it wasn't even the dick. It was like my need and obsession with wanting to feel love and be loved and wanting to just get that part of my life going already, Like I'm tired of being single. I want to start my I want to start my said life already, like as if it hadn't already fucking as if I hadn't already been living it.
You know.
I talk about like, uh, the Dine, the Disney Princess syndrome or whatever, like the fact that in all of our childhood movies and cartoons, it's literally a woman doing like this bitch arial gave up her voice for an.
It's literally part of the welcome package of womanhood and you.
Getting born as a girl, and a welcome package is like haw that a man is gonna come.
And I was watching Cinder Brandy's Cinderella last night with my daughter.
It's been like three part.
Series, by the way, that is such a good It's a great movie, yes, But as I'm watching it, I'm like, so this nigga fucking dance has all these bitches waiting to dance with him, and then a missing shoe and he's wait, he has to fit, and all the bitches are going crazy fighting each other over whether there's making shoe fits, and this Cinderella is over.
Here, like I'm just Cinderella, just just a lonely milkmaid, and.
I'm like, what the right like this is? This is the fucked up I'm like the product.
It's like it's like little Girl propaganda. We're not need to write it like a warning book for the for the like the mothers. This is the things you don't do with please do not gender roles. I'm just saying it's a warning. Disney movie should come with a warning package, like a warning label, like this ship is not fucking real and it will make you helpless and.
Fu even let me see I dance. So there's the aerial, there's the Pocahontas abandon her.
But even even in Cinderella, what I noticed to and obviously the stepmom was evil, but but she she was the one pushing her daughters. Yes, so a lot of times that's it too, is that it starts with your mother too, saying this is what you need to do in a manner to be valuable. This is how you start this, when you did when you do this, this is when you start your life. When you get married, This is when you start your life. Everything else doesn't matter because we're leading, and this is the goal.
The goal is to be a wife and to be a mother. But and that's where to me, not wanting to be either, like I'm now like this modernized woman, of course.
But I wish that we do like what then happened afterwards, I think.
Where it happened.
And I'm not gonna if you watch Beauty and the Beast, the Beast was a whole narcissist abuses of ass nigga like.
For fuck nigga. Literally, I'm gonna sue you.
I'm gonna got the money base class action. This is Hi suing for emotional damage the Tasney World coucher fucking days.
We're coming for you and we want Okay, we're gonna We're gonna put a position in this episode description.
It is a high thought a class action suit against motherfucking Disney because you fucking false advertised all throughout my childhood had a decade of a plus of trauma because of your bitch.
Ass Disney to respond, this is legal.
We're coming for you, I mean, and honestly, that's why I feel like as mothers, I know, we got a lot of backlash coming into this space like this because we talk very very vivid, like very real in this book too, But it's like, this is why it requires mothers like us, and this is why the work that we're doing is so motherfucking important that you writing this book.
Us all arriving here is no mistake the same of your mom and your sister are now in therapy and coming to terms that would have probably never happened if there wasn't for Mandy. What you know what I'm saying, like, there's so much there's so much work in like there's we said this, there's there's healing in the hoeing.
And I just want to say too, for the people that listen and know that y'all are moms and think that y'all are these wild, crazy, you know, insane bitches, y'all have two of the most well behaved kids. I don't even like kids, but anytime I've been around your daughters, just the most kindest, sweetest, most well behaved little girls, and so and I know moms who think that they're fucking a one. Moms and their kids are fucking bitches, you know what I mean. Their kids are fucking dickheads.
And so like, just know y'all are doing right by how you're raising.
That's how I knew we were real friends. When you let us come to your house with our kids.
I was like, wow, because I like them well behaved. Oh trust me, there's don't bring your kids. I have friends that I don't want to be around.
Our kids might have traumatized your cat, though I'm not.
Oh yeah, god it was. They was whooping body ass and then body traumatized. They started fighting back. Oh I know, I know. It was crazy. Well that's that's my that's my nephew. Yes I do. But girl, my voices, do you hear this on the brain. It's just no, no, no, I'm getting secondhand smoking. It smells smells delicious.
So is it is?
It is banana.
This is a nola banana Foster's backwood.
Okay, because this smells delicious.
It's smelling like because it tastes.
I'm taking a break from cannabis.
But I the other day I smoked a backwood like I smoked a backwood, like, did not take the ship, take the ship out of it? No, because I was like, let me just taste what it tastes like, because what on this tobacco?
Right, yeah, this is well.
This is the thing.
What I This is what I've realized because there's a lot of flavors. But every time I kind of smoke when I'm like, I don't know if I'm tasting it inside, it's inside.
Taking the.
Leave a little bit, you know some of them.
You gotta know people, And that's why I'm there, and that's why because I hate I sat a white, a backwood white, backwood way right.
I smoked a backwood white and it was like vanilla.
I was like, oh it was good.
It was good. And I didn't inhale like you know. I smoked like a cigar like you're supposed to. Let it kind of marinated.
Break breaking news and the amount of people that went in shout out to our followers on Instagram, y'all were very concerned for my health and my d ms, and they were also going to drop off weed immediately.
They're like, where are you?
I will drop off.
You don't need to be smoking a backwards like this.
But breaking news. You guys backwards are for smoking. I don't you know that the directions don't see anything. P s A that the nigga's out there, but it says nothing about taking all the picture.
The inside is literally poking out.
Yeah, you're supposed to smoke that.
Yeah.
No, And so I did it, and I was my remix and I was like, do I need to start smoking cigars?
Like for real?
Do you like? I like you smoking cigars?
Yeah, I don't mind. I don't mind.
I've smoked my dad's before, but his are so intense.
That's what happens when you're a side chick. Married men take you to cigar lounge. Yes they do, because the only men there, they're the ones who introduced me to cigars all my marriage. The lounge baby, and and.
I have an old nigga magnet.
I'd be like, you give me the girl one, give me a little cute girls, the little cute one.
I kind of like them fat. It makes me feel like a gangster.
Oh my god, I just feel like a gangster when I wake up.
I'm the same, like an extra gangster, like a music video gangster. Do you have any have you been any bad choices this week that you want to share with our audience. So you're a bad choice of the week.
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
So good.
First off, I've been potting my life away.
Every time I see you freaking talk so much.
I talk a whole lot. A bad decision, no, but I did just okay, So it's a good decision, but it's like naughty. So shout out to Girls Gotta Eat. They gave me and I'm so glad because so I moved from New York to Atlanta, have not unpacked one of my electronic boxes. This electronic box has all of my sex toy chargers. So it has been six months
since I've put a toy to my pussy. So Raina gave me, Uh, Girls Gotta Eat gave me a sex toy, and bitch were like, do you want Do you want a toy for a couple or do you want a toy for yourself? I said, bitch, I'm selfish, give me one for myself. And I said, wait, do you have something that sucks? Those are the things I like and like. So it's this baby. I've been coming in like start a second, I'm like, bitch, normally. It take me a good eight nine minutes because I got a warmer up, bitch.
I put that little thing on it, and it was it was sober to know what to do. I was like, real quick, oh no, no, no, that was my my click got drunk real quick. Okay, like like if you're talking about not drinking for a while. That thing went on on that clinton I said, poop came. So that decision was a great decision. It was a naughty one.
It was a bad one.
All those things. I'm back to. Getting this clip sucked, baby, and that shit felt good. I'm happier back, baby. I'm glad I'm back, because boy, is it fucking caveman old era age should just be rubbing at the thing.
It's very vintag good for you to come back.
You gotta take breaks.
You can't buzze your your fucking graduate.
All I know is that six month break just made it to where I don't even really get to enjoy like the long experience of masturbation right now, bitch. It's like, that's my pussy dot com.
So that was your bad choices a week and not in pocking, not unpacking that one charger.
Oh my like that was my bad choice this whole year. Bitch, Why the fuck have I not charged my sex toys? So I just be at home Vintage rubbing this puss.
Because you're to go home and pluck that ship in now.
Literally, it's so funny because my homegirl was like, you could always stay at my house in l A. And I just had to. I said, First off, a bitch likes to play with her pussy, Okay, I said, I like to be in a hotel room where I can just lay naked, or you be having people come over at the end of the day. Sometimes I don't want to talk to people at all. So I got my little hotel, got that sex toy, and boy, so you've
been having a week rubbing my pussing out. Let me calm down, you have she kind of jumping right now. Oh she happy. She was like, God, damn, thank you guy.
You have a chapter in your book and that it's funny that we're talking about this called how can I expect you to please me?
If I can please myself?
So it's that's the first chapter in the book and it talks about back to even having sex with men. It's about me not understanding my body, not knowing my body, and the only way for a long time being able to come through sex. So I needed a man to come.
And so it just it goes through the journey of literally from me humping a Teddy Bear when I was young, to me using the shower head at home because it felt good to me reading fan fiction where, bitch, why the fuck was I thirteen fourteen wanting to be gangbanged by B two K bow wow and fucking Chris Brown all at once. I'm literally reading this fan fiction like mmmm, So Chris Brown came over and then Jay Bug walked in and where are you reading? Y'all don't know about
fan fiction? My god, y'all can still find it to this day. We looked it up. So they were message boards, so you know how red it is. And the other message board that never gets airtime and gets bleeped out whenever I talk.
About it, so beside one.
The one that is in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one I don't say. I don't say that.
Yeah, I guess we should say evil.
But it's like a reddit, so there's multiple message boards and there's like a category labeled fan fiction, and you go in there and it's people that are writing erotica, but the people in the erotica are celebrities, So as a fan, you could literally look up who you like and read all these stories. And so I was reading these stories and it was like, you know, like, I'm hanging out with the crew and literally, yeah, Jay Book came over and Little Fizz was looking through the door
and I said you can come join. But I was bow wow oh like and literally and literally I'm fucking thirteen, and I'm like, oh yeah, gang bang me b two k yeah wow, Why the fuck did I want that so young? That's how I knew it was gonna be a problem when I started fucking yeah advanced like, and so I talk about sitting at the computer reading this late at night and just just getting wet and not knowing what was happening. And then I talk about hunching
my friends because that's what we did. We played teacher and hunched each other with our clothes on. And so I go through this journey of what what was happening with my body? It thumping, it feeling good when I would rub it on things. And then I get to where I'm in my twenties and I'm like, oh, I know how to touch it, I know how I like it. Oh,
this is what's happening. And I talk about like the way I'm able to get pleasure now with partners and with myself is heightened out of this world because I know exactly what I want and it's because I explored my body and figured out what I like, what I don't like, and then learn how to communicate it. So yeah, it's like, ladies, y'all mad, you can't orgasm? Have you? Do?
You know your Do you like it?
Slow?
Do you like it?
Harden? Once you know how you like it, then tell the nigga, tell the bitch.
Go to fan fiction.
Figure read some fan fiction. I'm mind you, mind you, and those are of course I was a child, But you can go, oh, bitch, if you like white people, I'm sure there's some let me. I'm sure you can read about all them white crackers.
You know what, this is such a female thing because I'm like, like, you know, you can't find the porn category, like the specific porn category that you want, and it pisses you off. I'm like, I should just make my own fan fiction fan fiction.
I'm going to go look up Charlie Hana fan fiction.
Who someone white because I don't know, Yeah, that.
Sounds friends of Anarchy. Oh his the lead of Sons of Anarchy.
Never saw that even so fine, Jason, that is that right period of fan fiction with Charlie and Jason.
You know who I want.
I'm gonna take you. I'm gonna keep it in the same region. This is I want Jason Momoa and Roman Rains. Bitch, look up Roman Rains right now. I took it from acting to wrestling wrestler. I don't even like wrestling is only good for Roman his whole family.
God damn, he looked like Hercules.
He's Hercules.
That's the kind of white.
I like that. He's like tong like Philip whatever, that Filipino.
He's he used to play football.
It's like he's married his wife, a wrestler. I think they all marry each other.
They do.
All the wrestlers like marry each other. But he fine, fine, she fine to Actually not as fine right there, yeah, because he's you know, like, I don't like when niggas.
He needs to have his hair down.
Hair looks like you get a ravage.
I need a ravage even I like hair like don't shave your your hair off. I need you to look scruffy. Yeah.
I like a little scruffy too. I want you to look a little rough around that.
If you start getting grades, keep the salt and pepper. Don't color that ship. I hate that it's getting colored. Keep it salt and pepper.
You went to Georgia Tech. Just maybe maybe he's still.
Maybe you come back. I just want to bump into him.
He's from Florida, and he's from Florida.
Or you want to be so bad?
That's the color, baby Dan, Not you knowing all of his Oh he's Oh he's Samoan and Italian.
So he is okay, part spicy, way, okay, part spicy wait a lottle meat ball. All right, Yeah, I ain't mad at that.
We went on a deep Sorry.
My car later and my fan fiction.
I also lost my card.
Your card, Oh no, it's in your book.
Oh okay, okay, okay, can you you're not gonna read my card.
I know we're gonna read your car. But before we read your card, I want you ask you if.
You have a horror story that you can share with us who stories in true horror form? I know you're a reformed horror supposedly, now.
Go back into your horror files.
I guess, I guess all because in true fashion, why not, I'll bring up a story that I had in the book. My first time pegging went terrible, and it's because the guy was so against the strap, looking like a real dick, So he didn't want and he didn't know, but he was interested, like he definitely liked butt play, and I wanted to get in that boodhle hole.
Wait, but question before we tell the horror story. Yes, why did you want to get in the bootyhole?
Like?
Where did that come from?
Like?
Where was that?
I love?
Look at that. That's in the book too. First off, it was birth from in a hole momophobia. Let's be very clear, so that the chapter that I'm talking about, I start with how I used to think if a guy wanted to have anal sex with me, he was gay, because why would you want anything but this lovely fucking hole right here? Why would you want the back?
Though?
That don't make no sense? And so I go through this journey of unlearning that finally having antal sex, it not being the best, but willing to keep trying, trying all the way until I got an anal orgasm. I started to just really like enjoy male butt two. I think from gay porn. So to me, men in straight porn always looked like they just got out the girls. Weaves was bad, makeup was terrible, and I'm like, straight porn is just not sexy to me. So somehow I went down the rabbit hole of gay porn.
They're all shaved, they're ripped, the fine, they take care of themselves, and I'm like, oh wait, they're having mad antal sex and I don't see ship.
I said, oh, so maybe you could have. Maybe this is like a clean little thing you could do if you do it the right way. But I started like liking mail butt. I started looking at it.
I start.
Over mail, but I did, like looked in jeans. How you used to want to see a nigga being over Dinner's a thing where they make their bootlehole wink girl, what is that category? So boot ahole week but they literally just make it say high like look at me all like yeah, they.
Actually don't you remember that.
Bootyhole?
I that was like six months ago.
I like a winking boodhole.
Yeah it was last year.
You know you don't did That's what that went viral? Little fizz. I think at a week in Boodha hole that that like not.
You're okay, fantasy.
It comes.
It's so crazy, but yeah, anyways, so I grew the obsession of seeing the beauty in that, like the same way men like are asses. I started really liking man but got it and then I wanted to penetrate it. I saw how beautiful it looked in gay porn. Wanted that that that.
You wanted this, you wanted a man to submit to you?
Was it of that too?
But I was like or you just was like you just love to please so much that you wanted to.
I wanted to please him in every hole.
I just want to tell you, if you're just listening to this and you're not watching, for the love of God, tune in because the passion in her face, the pronunciation of mail butts, and like the joy and like, wow, I've never seen joy.
And then I learned science and they said the g spot was up there. I said, oh, I'm about to please you baby, make you feel like you will never let me milk that thing, and so literally, then I learned science. Then I learned science bitch, not you can tell you your prostate is your g spot. Let me get up in there. And so anyways, back to the story. The first time I pegged the guy, he didn't want it to look like a dick. So I got a
prostate toy. But it was so hard and it had a curve, and so in order to get the prostate, it's towards go towards the belly button. So the lady at the store, I'll never forget, she said, if it's if it's curved, if he's on his back, it should be pointed up. If he's on his knees, it should be pointed down. And so when we fucked, it was like it was hard. It was hard, and so I don't think it was very enjoyable for him, and it made me not enjoyable, like enjoying the experience because it
was I knew I wasn't. It had to hurt. Well, I said, nigga, next time, we might need the thing with the little veins. They look like a dick, because those at least feel like skin and are better like material. But it's so funny. I literally do the Keith Lee my first time. Peggy, I'd like to rate it a five point time like it was. It was a bad, bad, bad first time. I'm glad that me and him got to go a second I was. We did a redo.
We did it multiple times with a different toy. He allowed, he allowed me to go and just get one that looked like a dick, and we had to talk through his own internalized homophobia with that too, like bruh, it's a plastic I'm a bitch, which would come like, calm down, it's not a real dick. I just think the material would lead for it to be better. And so yeah, like we did that, and that's when I even started
like the anal training kids. So learn more about the butt plugs, learn more about like the things that I could go in there to help open them up and get them comfortable before I just started ramming them.
But yeah, you're an anal expert.
Yeah, what can't you just give us maybe three tips? I think you kind of just did right now, But like, what are three real official tips? I'm successfully pegging.
Lube and a lot of it. Do not think you'll spit is good enough, bitch, get the lube and honestly lube up the toy and lube up the whole. The more loube, the better. You cannot have too much lube in antal sex. There's like no such thing. And then if there's a lot of it, then his ass just gets to be shiny. Okay, now you got a shiny, nice ass that's loubed up and ready, So lube blue, blue, blue, blube. I I'm not gonna lie. I'm not a gay male, so I've never doushed it. I just don't eat that day, Like,
no coffee that morning. I'm gonna be strategic around if I had a a wet shit that morning. We're not having antal sex to be hard, firm, not a lot of mess, you know. So make sure you're aware of your body. If you drink coffee that morning and blew up the fucking bathroom, that might not be the day for you to engage in antal sex. Like make sure your body is in a healthy state. And then other than that, I already said the anal training that's a
little bit more advanced. I would also say, when you say training, you mean like the size, yes, the butt plug. By the way, I have steps in the books, so get the book. I talk about this too. But the other thing that I will say going into antal sex, whether you are pegging or whether you are receiving, understand that we are humans, so there may be a mess.
Don't make it awkward, don't make a scene. Be okay with the fact that you could be as prepared as you think you are, you couldition there still be a mess. So just be prepared that it could happen and just move on. Clean the sheets, bitch, take it off, put a new set down, Use a towel if you need, use a doggy pad whatever. Doggy pad, yeah, they use that for mostly squirters, but it's something they.
Can doubles at the sex party. I know. I think about it for anal. I just talked about it for squirting.
But if you raise an yeah, I mean that's that's what the dogs do on it, the on it.
Okay, thank you, thank you so much here that Orlando.
Thanks so much for that.
I know you're not acting like you don't know about no boodhle plate. Bitch, Why are.
You talking to really this because she puts it in her fight? Do you think she puts in Orlando's but not Orlando.
I don't know what they done.
Well, when you told me the story about all of the all of the all the batteries and not working. I was like I had I was like, that's all I thought about.
Brouh yes and.
The flashback, and I was like, she's still mad.
So mad I was, But now instead of the mad being mad at you, I met at myself. Why well you didn't charge all your toys? But now I just told you I haven't had toys charge in six months.
That was the last time that was much of a disaster. And when it was other people, depending on.
My it was spons it was very right, like you did you go home before to prepare?
No, it was spontaneous. Yeah, it was like we all across some price, we all go listen lumber party.
Do we ever tell this story public? I feel like I don't think. I don't think we did. I think it was two.
I think we talked around it. Okay, wait, are we able to share it? Yeah?
And if you want to hear this story, you have to run our patrios.
Join the patriot.
Okay, make sure you go to good Mom's Patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices, Real Horrible Decision.
Yes, this is a friend. Okay, So this was going on Patreon.
Ye.
Perfect, So I think you did group chattus at first.
And then I was like, okay, y'all take me out the chat now, fine, see you next time in l a friendship. Okay.
Wow.
And and by the way, you're the only person that shares that experience with me. I have never gang banged another man.
It was my idea. I was like, why not, This is a great idea. I wish now women were.
I wish you had better, but I wish more women enjoyed like just being like referral, let's gang bang this.
Yeah, like can we just gang banging? Like come on, I love it.
Come look at the empowerment of women, like yes, let's train.
Yeah, what are you doing tonight running a train? So me, Mandy Erica, Yeah, we're gonna gout to dinner. Then we're gonna run a train. And what you want to come by?
That?
Would?
I think you did tell Erica that, right? Did you know that we were doing planned that?
We planned it? Like during an episode recording we were like I said it, and then I was like, oh, yeah, guess what we made it happen.
I would call me after let me know how it was.
Because she was like, I can't go because I know his baby mom were like, were.
That we could wear the skuy.
Ethically, I can't do this, but tell me all about it.
Wow, we've had some time.
Wow, and I love you. And did the same glass and a ketemene to a train to run in the trains on a.
Beautiful man we know ended Keademine by the.
Way, Yeah we didn't. He just had it. He tried, He tried, He really tried. White people was just like, you want drugs, were like, well we just had pasta.
Were we just ate? We never did it, so I don't know pasta.
You know, I don't know that's gonna really but you know what, we will show you our titties while we swing on a random swing that's in your living room.
I remember I think I kissed them. I made them say you got the two guys to ki.
You got So these guys were fucking roommates and they weren't they we don't wait.
You remember the guy was like he was like upstairs was and.
I crossed up there. I woke him up out of.
His sleep and then literally sleep their roommates. They're not partners, and here goes here goes fucking Mila, I think y'all should kiss and he's They both looked confused, and somehow they did end up kissing with you.
I wasn't gonna figuay kissing. Toward that trip, I was like really feeling in my prize. I was like, let me make see what I can make people do. And I did it made them kiss and.
I think we three way kissed. It was crazy. Pastass brought us there. It was great pasta and espresso. Martin.
You know, this is also a testament to like, you know, I think I thought you hated me.
So when I was going in to record the podcast, oh.
That day, Yeah, when we were like on defense, we were like we have to fuck her.
Up, Like, oh no, what's gonna happen because.
Someone told me that she don't fuck with me and I don't know why. But I don't even know this bitch.
It never was the case. I never was the case.
I walked in like han Hi alert, like.
By and literally by the end of the episode, I'm obsessed with the both of you and I crashed the dinner y'all were having with Weezy. They're like it was about to be It was a right of of three, and I said, oh, it's going to be four, and Weezy was really not trying to share all his friends, and I was like, oh, I'm coming, even if I have to sit at the table next to y'all, I'm going. I know where the going. I'm going.
Really, she was like she was like.
Three for three, Like I'm sure, Like it's phase one.
She was like, it's strict, it's connected to Cello House.
I was like, usually if there's three cheers, there's four. I think people be able to figure it out. And man, it was like yeah.
He was like, I haven't been to dinner with this bitch in three years, but I'm.
Going today because I love y'all.
And then that the road.
We've been friends ever since, literally like friends, like, hey can meet Erica and our two kids come stay at your house when you're out of town because they got to go to camp. And yeah, here you go, like, yeah, it's been great, it's been so good. I love you, I love you too, I love both three.
I really do love you.
It's so funny because we had so much catching up to do when y'all were just in Atlanta and I even you said it an Orlando said it like, yeah, well, we didn't do much catching up because we were really drunk. All we did was fucking party like and then to the to the point the next day, I was like, can I just see y'all in LA because I am dead? Yeah, y'all killed me, Like y'all may be my only other friends that are the age y'all are that I can't really hang.
Wait wait, wait, wait no, because I'm what do you in the age that we are?
All of my friends are the same age. They're all between thirty five and forty three.
I forget, how old are you?
Thirty four? Okay, so they're all like, you know, a little older, But bitch, they're mature. They not hanging out till six o'clock in the morning. You bitches, keep going, you bitchspect I don't know many people over the age of thirty five who hang out of cars going from one party to the next. But Mila hanging out the car, hanging out like it's spring break, which it was a random Saturday in April. It wasn't spring break, not for us. We don't you know.
Sounds like break to me actually, and it was spring I know.
To right, You're right, but no, I love it podcast festival. Baby. It was we were celebrating you know, now, I've never rock stars of the podcast fest.
It was so much fun. Yeah. We went from that night alone. I think I went to three or four different places because I went. I was at Holiday Bar before we took.
You to the West. The West took me Hollywood Bar. But Atlanta.
I was about to say, you leave it so fucking Erica and Mila to find something that looks so like mind you, I've been in Atlanta. Atlanta is the black mecca of the goddamn country. They take me to the one spot where we're the only blacks in there outside of the goddamn promoters. But it was so fucking beautiful. I was like, you were famous there. Do yeah, I know. We walked.
Do you know Mandy goes to me, she goes Erica.
I actually kind of love it because I'm like, I'm really fucking tired of hearing future everywhere.
I'm actually happy there's white people here. It was I might come back, Oh, I want to go back.
But also their their menu when we walked up on your friends eating this looks good.
Well that's why she in bited me. Because the food they were supposed to I didn't know nothing about the rooftime. I didn't know what they were supposed to be really good food.
The whole fucking astund called everybody hollow. When I say it was viby, it was beautiful, it was giving literally Hollywood meets to Loan, it was. It was fucking cute in Atlanta. Refused in Atlanta, you were like, where is the nigga shit at? I come where all the blacks are? Literally literally Mila was like, didn't come to Atlanta to be It's the only time.
The only way we sayd is I kept having free shots. It did and that's why. And then after that we left immediately.
Well no, I ended up buying around too. I was like, can I get nine please?
We were deep too.
We were so fucking deep, right my friends, Hectar Libby. We had a lot of people.
We have a lot of people. It was though. It's always a good time.
It is true. One thing about the three of us, I will say, we live up to our titles. This is no fake, This is not fake.
We really live this.
This is really who we are.
Horrible and bad, very much, very much.
Horribly bad choices and decisions we're made.
If you hang out with that's it's going to be questionable everything every time, every time. Oh my goodness, did you share an affirmation with us today? Ooh?
An affirmation? Can? We can? We actually go to the chapter where I have the affirmations, from the chapter where I champion being a side chick, because I felt like the affirmations had to come with loving yourself. See you know what, an affirmation I'm good, just fit it out and affirmation. This is going to be so simple, so cliche. But you are enough.
You are enough. That's real shit.
You are enough.
You know, be a cliche the ones that your mom told you, those little nursery rhyme shit like those are the ones that when you get older.
You're like, oh oh yeah. And I think that there's these expectations of us set on by our parents, by society. We're fucking victims of the fucking patriarchy. And so as women specifically, we always feel like we don't nurture enough, we don't care enough, we don't show up enough, we don't protect them, Like there's so much responsibility that we have that sometimes like what you're doing is fine, and you are enough in whatever you are giving. You don't
need to over exalt yourself to show up. You are enough as is, as.
Is, just as you are, just as you are. Organic, organic, no gmo, yeah, no added is preservatives, hero Time, it is terroot tyme. I was just taking a look at it. It's very interesting, actually, hero Time.
Mandy and my friend who believes.
In no astrologies or no stars no mood.
I think I saw you on a clip recently talking about something about astrology, and I was like, bitch, stop.
No way, it wasn't me. It's just another little light skin hope. But it wasn't me, booty hole.
That was me, my little libra Shi.
Nah, you won't hear me.
Mandy is a libra.
She pulled the Lover's card and the upright, it means love, harmony, relationships, values, alignment choices.
Oh, very uh telling, But she doesn't believe in this.
But she doesn't believe it. No, but I'll let y'all you know interpret pour into me. Okay, yes, and it's purest form in the Lover's card represents conscious connections and meaningful relationship. Ooh, this is me. The arrival of this card in tarill reading shows that you have a beautiful,
soul honoring connection with the loved one. You may believe you have found your soulmate or life partner, and the sexual energy between you both goes way beyond instant gratification and lust to something that is very spiritual and almost tantric Maybe it's you with you.
Maybe.
While the Lover's card typically refers to a romantic tie, it can also represent a close friendship or family relationship with love, respect, and compassion flow. The Lover's card is open communication and raw honesty mm no holds barred period. Given that man and women are naked, they are both willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have learned to be open to open their hearts, to open
to one another and share their truest feelings. They shape the container from which trust confidence can emerge, and this makes for a powerful bond between the two. In a reading, this card is a sign that communicating openly and honestly with those you care about you will create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship. BILL on trust and respect.
I love it.
It's mate On a deeper On a personal level, the Lover's card represents getting clear about your values and beliefs. You're figuring out what you stand for and your philosophy. Having gone through the indoctrination of their hair Afont, you are now ready to establish your belief system and decide what is and what is not essential.
To you periods.
It's time to go into big wide world and make choices for yourself, saying true to who you are and being authentic and genuine and all of your endeavors.
Might need to give a little card downy baby. I like that.
We can make a few calls.
I like that.
Well, you guys, make sure you get Mandy's latest first book. That's right, No Holds Barred, a dual manifestation of sexual exploration and power by Mandy Bee and Wheezy what the fuck?
Yes? And the crazy part too is so it does released June twenty fourth, but you know pre ordering. Pre ordering gets tricky because who buys stuff and they don't get anything right. So we decided to give anyone who pre orders the book you have whenever you hear this through July first, there's a form on our Instagram page that is the No Holds Barred Masterclass. So we created
a whole masterclass that includes parts about the books. So the book is broken up into pain, pleasure, progression, power, and so we do a course around it, where each course has two modules taught by both Weezy and I. And in the pain one, I actually have a BDSM chapter, and so I go to the dungeon that I talk about in the book, and like for that, it's like BDSM one on one, but in the dungeon, I'm showing you how expensive, like you know, toys can get, showing
you the most highest quality of them, and then also telling you household items that you could use and safety tips around them. Other one about healing after a breakup. It comes with a breakup playlist of music. Yes, there is guided meditation and then there's a workbook as well associated with the master class. Oh that's so you do
get that absolutely free on the form. You only have to upload the proof of purchase, so the receipt that you got in your email when you ordered it, and you get the master class.
So make sure you get the make sure you do the pre make sure.
You pre order help me to become a New York Times bestsellerst.
Yes, honey, Yes, it's important support black authors. Yes, and we'll put everything in this episode description, Mandy, where can our Where can I try to find you?
Okay, so you can find me anywhere on the socials, probably cussing people out at full Court Pumps. And then you can listen to me every Monday Decisions Decisions and every Tuesday Selective Ignorance. So and then of course if you want to go on the Patreon and hear me talk about mail butt, it is Horrible Decisions on Patreon.
Beautiful you know where to find us at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram. Make sure you follow our Patreon to listen to this very horrorsh tale between.
Jamila and Mandy.
Very crazy, very crazy, very wild.
Very nuts.
Make sure you go follow the Good Vibe retreat. We have some retreats coming up this summer for the ladies if they're almost sold out, so make sure you put your deposit down and come through to Costa Rica with us and make sure you rate and subscribe.
What does podcast are you gonna come?
I think it's as long as as long as I'm done touring. Like the last.
Quarter of the year, we have July thirty first through August fifth, and then we have August eighth through the thirteenth.
The touring.
God, damn it, damn damn.
I need something like And we had one of the year, we had end of the year, top of the year.
We had one spot in Bali, but it's sold out now, So what is Balie November?
Bit y'all better add a spot sleeping with us?
I mean, right the first time?
Okay, don't thriven with a good time? Okay, yeah, Well we'll be we'll talk. I've been to Ballety, I like Bali, and then I'll skip over to Thailand, which I've been wanting to do too.
Oh, I know, I want to get there too.
You'll be You'll be a two hour flight if you're a volley, I think two to four hours, depending on if you know, it doesn't matter you're on that side of the world. But you'll be in Southeast Asia.
I mean, it's a long flight.
You may as well get as much as you can when you get out there.
That's true, it's true.
But thank you guys for having me.
This is fun.
Thank you for coming. Here's to laughs as per usual.
We love you, and we'll see you guys next week.
Say, yeah, it been so good.
Can't you tell I went through a drought. That's until I find a well may might have been known, art that used to be broken tail now got the blues hands and might beyond say just sell throat shots from the pop and this cow wearing our voices patriarch and kept it in the box to exploit its women put the pee and powers.
I was pointless. They want me to be good, so I make bad choice.
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom itters in on for cannabus in their bathbon walked in Boston's cap and I blewis cat boss hope dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no waisted straight.
To it like a dollar sign.
Mother, rent the lover when too with it like a water simmer where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime. I do what doll ain't no one that needs to run it by