¶ Intro / Opening
Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. She couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was a good woman who always made good choices.
We're good mom's bad choices.
Who single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and.
Sound out they were so bad.
After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
I can do it.
Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.
I'm Erica and I'm Nila.
Happy humpday, bitchous.
Happy hump day, y'all.
How you doing.
I'm doing pretty good. You look pretty thank you.
Yeah. Orlando said, you look like young like that, but you do. I'm not young. You just look you kind of look like I guess you kind of like a teenager, but like a youthful not like yeah, like beautifully youthful?
Is it like because it's half a pack?
Is a ponytail situation?
Yeah?
Is this is this where I'm at in life? Like I had their ponytail with youthful.
Well, I'm wearing my hair down because bitch, I put my pulled my hair back the other day and I'm the grays that have accumulated around my fucking hairline since I had took my braids out. I was like, are the braids pulling grays out of my head? Like I swear to God? And when I put them and I did not have this many grays, And when I took them out, I had like unearthed more grains.
I don't know if I don't know if braids work like that.
I think it's I think that they've been like pulling at the root, pulling, pulling the grays out.
Yes, I don't know exactly.
About going blonde again, I've been read for like two almost two years now, and so that I can blend them with the end kind of helps hide the grays. But I just took new headshots and my hair's red, so I.
Can't take more.
They're expensive. And that's the thing about acting that I remember, like not like really hating, was like once you took a headshot your age, David your agent being like, well, you can't change your hair, Yeah, you have this hairstyle here, although I don't know if that's still the same anymore. Like I feel like, well, if you wanted this color, bitch, change it, like get created. It's because casting directors are
¶ gray hair, and the quest for youthful vibes
not creative and they need to see.
Exactly how you look.
Yeah, I think you could always get blonde and get new pictures by David.
I just get a wig or a wig. Just have my red wig on, but have blonde hair underneath.
You looked at Brittany Runners that rig wig all the time. That afro wigs looks like a wig to me. Yeah, it's too perfect. You know what confirmed it was wig? When she was doing all that back and forth with the baby, she had the I have wig braids.
Oh, she had braids on.
They were like just straight backs. That's just probably a wig. It's a cute wig. Maybe I need to get a wig for real. I took my hair down because the fucking brading lady was like two hours late, and me and Danielle called ourselves splitting the travel fee. She came like two hours late. I was already tired. I was like, I only taking out the front. I was only at the front, rebraided, and now she decided to go and I wasn't gonna go. I was like, fuck it I'm
gonna take them all my hair. No, you had the bob for like three days, no, like one day.
I called her that night. I was like, call me back, bitch, what are you doing with your hair?
Like, what are you trying to get to? What's like the goal? I don't know or theneath hair.
I was just I just we were retreating so back to back that I just kept getting braids, and we're about to retreat again. So I'm gonna keep it. I'm gonna get it professionally done. I'm gonna see how it looks with like a professional press out because I don't have those skills at all anymore, and my hair is not trained, and then I don't have to.
Get it like cut like a certain way.
Yeah.
And then also my hair is like half permed, half natural, and it's horrible, so I'm probably gonna cut the shit off right after BALI. Yeah, I'll just go back to having no hair because that's what looks best on me, and I'm gonna only I can only rock that for so much longer. I think, like the short hair used to make me look like more distinct and older, but now I'm actually older, so I would not have.
To grow my hair out, so now I need to look younger. Yeah, now you need a pony tail. I need a pony Yeah. Next you're gonna have a fucking scrunchy in your hair.
Yeah.
When I turned forty and I'm wearing only scrunches, You're gonna know why bows and scrunchies.
You're gonna know why? How are you? What's been going on?
I'm good, I'm I'm just actually, I mean, if you're watching YouTube, I'm wearing my leopard cat something dressed. And I had this in my car because I recently had an audition yesterday. And yeah, I've been like slowly creeping my way back into that world of auditioning again, and I feel really good about it. Like it was I had this audition in person. It's my first in person audition. And probably I said five years, but now i've been thinking about it, it might be like six years. Because
we've been podcasting for how many years? Seven seven and a half going on eight. Yeah, and I think I stopped acting like probably.
Like year one of our of us, maybe year two, maybe second year, but maybe a lot.
I feel like at that point too, a lot of auditions started to be virtual like yeah, like you said them to them.
Especially after twenty twenty, there was.
I didn't see I did an audition in twenty twenty. I stopped auditing like twenty nineteen.
Yeah, a lot of yeah, a lot of them are self tapes.
Yeah, and so like I've been doing self tapes for the past few months like here and there, but this was my first in person audition, and that shit felt so different.
It hits different.
It felt so different, it felt so good. And I've been just like easing my way back in because when I left acting, I like felt really disheartened. I really felt like, maybe this is just not my calling. Maybe, like you know, some people you gotta have like real conversations between maybe you don't, but like you know some people like who are trying to be like rappers and shit, You're like, baby, this is ain't good. This is not your calling. Baby.
Never I've never had the heart to tell anybody.
You know, because like, who are you to tell someone call? I'll do it, right me. But like I think sometimes like you have to have these real conversations with yourself, right, Like it's maybe it's not about your call, it's like are you going to do have the time to invest in this right now. So that's where I kind of was, I guess in twenty nineteen, because I've been acting since I was as a kid, and I just I've had moments.
I've had little breaks here and there, but just like nothing that I felt was like substantial enough for to like keep me going in this direction for another however many years I was going to do it, and so I was kind of sad. But I think good moms like took over our lives and this has been such a masterclass of like knowing myself and understanding myself, and I think that was like the missing piece for me
as an actor. It was like I really didn't know who I was, So there was like this and granted, when you're acting, you're playing other people, but there's there's still like a knowingness of yourself in order to be able to at least for me. I'm not necessary for other actors, but at least for me that I think that that was been That's been the missing piece for me in my art in that space, and so going back into it, it just feels different. Like when I went to the audition, I walked in and I could
hear a girl was auditioning in the room. They were giving her notes and I was like, okay, let me step outside because I don't even want to hear.
I don't want to hear it contaminate.
But the way God had like lined up this day for me, like I got I was. I got there like right on time, but I got a parking spot right in front. And it was at CBS Radford, so it's like there's like no parking over there. And I was like, Okay, we're gonna make this easy for myself. It was so fucking hot. I was wearing this dress, walking in the most uncomfortable shoes. Look at they fucking whatever. They tore up my feet. But when I got in there, it was just like it was nice and cool. There
was someone in there. I walked out, I went to the bathroom. When I walked out of the bathroom, like she was leaving, I was like, perfect. It felt like it was just like he's my audition and that's what I needed. And I went in there and I fucking killed it.
I did so I did so well And welcoming you back to the space and it feels really really good to be in person. We talk to a lot of actors they really like the the like the self tape element because it just it requires less of your day, right, Like you're driving across LA to go to a fucking.
Santa Monica, you know, and.
It's always at four.
It's always at the worst time. Yeah, like three pm when I go to pick up my kid. So granted, like I know that, I like I'm on a high of like in personal auditions. I don't know how long this high will last, but I just know I appreciated that, and it made me think about just how many of us have these dreams and passions that we start in our in our youth or like maybe in our early twenties, and then like life hits and you're like, shit, I gotta get real. I gotta get or maybe maybe it's
not even about getting real. It's just like this isn't working for me right now. And sometimes it's like it's not working for you in that version of yourself or in this point in your life, but it doesn't mean it can't work. And I think that that's been like the message for me in this new chapt is like I'm walking into this a total like a different Erica,
but a different version of myself. I when I was acting before, I had put so much pressure on myself every time I went in an audition, and like I didn't get a call back like it was it was started to really fuck with me. And I've been doing it for years and it didn't fuck with me for a long time, but towards the end, it was like this is too much, Like I can't deal with this rejection anymore in my life. And now I'm like I'm just like like going in and like releasing it, you know.
And it's like it's like if you just get to play. And I started to play, and I think playing in person with someone else was like part of the reason it felt really good, whereas like when I'm doing like self tapes, I am playing with someone but just it's just not the same energy.
Yeah, you don't feel like the nerves, the nerves, it doesn't feel as like yeah, like the adrenaline is probably not going as hard.
Yeah, there's like that feeling that I've I just I remember so so clearly and like I almost forgot how all big of a part of this, of this portion of my life that acting has taken because I've stepped away for the last six years, and but I've been acting my whole fucking life and I almost forgot, like I was like, oh yeah, this, oh yeah, this other thing that I do. Yeah, and it's like it's feels
it just feels really good. And it just made me think about how many mothers, not even mothers, but I would say a lot of moms, how we've we we side step our dreams or we put our dreams on hold. And granted, sometimes you have to like you have to like you know, there's a lot going on, but that
¶ Erica's return to acting: first in-person audition in six years
I don't know this like come back to it, you know, come back to it, revisit it, and maybe it is maybe that is a time in your life that's done. But for me, it feels really it feels really good,
and I feel really supported. And I had so many people in my dms like cheering me on, and it's like a level of like support that i've that I have now because of maybe the platform that I have now and also maybe just me sharing vulnerably, like my fear around this and like allowing people into my process as like stepping into this new form of art or
this former it's not new, but yeah new for me. Yeah, and being honest about like my fears, being honest about like, you know, some days I feel confident in something, you know, and like allowing people to support me, you know, whereas I think a lot of times we feel like we have to like become masters in silence or we can't like share the journey of to the win because it makes us look like we're not masters, you know, like we're not already walking.
In like everybody just shows up an expert about suddenly Eric is on a TV show. There's no process to it, and like we've normalized that in ways, and so.
I'm actually enjoying. I think I'm going to share more about it, just the journey of it, because it's like acting is hard. It is like a being a creator in in in general, there's a lot of rejection and even Iri like, so did you get it? Did you get this show? I'm like, Iri, listen, I'm gonna do a lot of auditioning. I'm not going to get things right. And like I'm glad that I even get to show her that too, because I think it's you know, I
think as a child, I didn't even understand that. And I started acting when I was like eight years old, so like the rejection part like took pros. Yeah, yeah, so it's just.
Like this is fun.
And then one day you're on set and you're like, oh, that's cool, but it's not like it's not like uh, you know, like livered. You're not gonna like die without it because you're just playing, you know, during the next thing the next day. That's interesting to have that observation, like doing it as a child and then just to understand how serious we start to take things and how taking things so seriously kind of starts.
To steal the joy.
Fuck it up, steals the joy away from just knowing it like as a child, because I auditioned a lot as a child, and like yeah, there's like even thinking like the fear I have now of like someone's like okay action, I'm like eugh, But like that is it's like what is the awareness that we grow into that starts to make it like so fair, feel so stressful, such so heavy, like so weighted, so heavily on us, And then what is this other piece about thinking that we have to show up an expert and not like
the process between it and like dub bitch, Like that's the whole.
I mean, and when you share the process, you actually get like literally energetically in the world, so much more support to like to actually propel you to where you want to be. You know, That's what I was feeling, like when people were like messaging me like, oh my god, that's so great, I was like, wow, thank you, thank you, Like yes, yes, actually I need this, especially in the
beginning of my process. Now it's kind of like makes me think of like when we when I first started dating, and you know, I joined Tinder, where I needed the validation a little bit, like it's it's less about validation and more more so.
Based firm like oh okay, like it's okay to talk about this. It's okay. Someone says, oh I really needed to hear that, or whatever the fuck. It's true.
I think we underestimate the community piece and like how much like encourage, like how much it drives you. And yeah, that's a good I'm happy that you like put that perspective, because that is I think it is important to revisit things as like with a new eyes and just removing a lot of the pressure because we do live in a society that aid tells you that you can't master more than one thing.
It's like, well, if you do this, if you podcast, you podcasts, it's.
Like, which I had a whole lot, Like there's so much other there's so many other parts of me and as a podcaster and as an author and now as these other things. It's like, of course if it contribute to other creative outlets, because I'm a creative in all the ways, like as a vessel. So it's nice to see you like take that perspective and then like remind me even you know, and even I re see it. The SA We're in the car, me and Luna and
we're listening to the radio. I think we're listening to like Big Boy or something, and I was like, I think I want to be in the radio, and Linda is like, I think I want to be an actress, but I know that's not gonna happen. I said, speak for yourself, baby, because everything I say I want, I get. And I was like, you really have to be aware of like if you want to be an actress, if you want to be an actor, say you want to
be an actor. I was like, and then I was like, I'm an actor, and then she was like repeating after me like, oh no. I was like, I'm going to be an actor and she's like, I'm going to be an actor. I was like, no, say I am an actor, Like I am an actor, and I was like I just started saying all these things that I wanted to, like that I wanted to be as if they were already existing. And I was talking to her and I was like, when I was little, I used to like accept awards, and like, I feel like a lot of
that contributed to like where I'm at. I was like, I wanted to be a writer and I didn't know how the fuck that was gonna happen, but I'm a writer now.
I was like, you really have to be careful.
And I was telling her like envisioning, embodying, and I was like, and using your imagination to feel how it feels. And I was like, things are scary, but you have to always know that you're capable. And I was just like talking to her, and you know a lot of times she's like, Okay, wait, shut up, but I'm like, even if you get like one percent of what I'm getting, you know, and even just sharing that with her, I don't even know what the fuck made me say that I was like, I want to be the radio. I
think She's like, I want to do this. I was like you, well you can, and I was like, we got to get away. You got to get over this fear and you got to just say fuck the fear
and push past it. But it's nice to be in the position to a be able to revisit things, have a community to support you, and then also be and it's doing something, not from the beginning, but starting over with something and having our child, your child bear witness because it kind of reminds you of like where you were as a child and how you didn't you didn't take on those l's or you didn't even think of
them as l's. You're just doing something to do it and it's fun and your mom does your hair and you show up and you go in there and like you know, as adults, we lose that because things get too serious. And it's the same as like even relationships, things get too serious to think about bills and Nicholas.
You are not doing shit, You're not doing this, and it's like we always I think the biggest, the coolest blessing about having a kid is it kind of pulls you to always come back to that childlike version of yourself and to sit in like what is the difference between now and then?
Oh, bitch, I'm a stress a bucket full of stress now, and it's like, fuck all that.
When I got back from my audition, of course, was like, so did you shoot it? I was like, no, babe, it was an audition and she's like, oh, those are sides and I was like, yeah, so can we read them? And so like we we're reading them and in one of the size it says something like something about like bitches and it was her line, and she was like she tried to skip over it, and I was like, why didn't you say it? She said, and she was like and I was like, okay, but I can tell
like she was like really into it. She wanted to keep doing it over and over again, and I am. I am grateful that I can share that with her, that like, yeah, I'm not going to win every time. I'm not gonna like get every part. That's just not the process. And her can and she can see how resilient I am when it doesn't go my way and
that I keep going even still. And actually this particular line of work really shows you that because it is a constant release of like going in and doing the work, prep preparing, preparing as if you've gotten the role, and then releasing it and then you never get to do it and you like you have to like move on from it. But thinking about the community and having the community or like I've always had community, it's just I haven't always asked for the support in that way. I mean,
obviously Instagram has made it much different. And also like thinking about but even like I shared it in our group text with our tribe, like I shared it with my friends because a I was excited to share share it and then when I got positive feedback, it made me feel good, you know. And so I was thinking also like we have this in our Discord channel, shout out to our tribe on Discord, we have a channel
called girl Guess What. And I was thinking about that yesterday and I was like, this is like girl Guess What, Like this is why these channels are important, because we share in our girl Guess What channel, like, Hey, bitch, guess what I just did today, and everyone says, oh my god, that's amazing, Like you need people, even if
¶ Wrestling with rejection, pressure, and rediscovering joy in creativity
it's strangers on the internet. Or strangers on the discord that are like future sisters to hype you up, especially when you're, like I guess, entering into a new news space. Yeah, I mean whether not even just a new space. Sometimes
you need it just in life in general. But it really helps, and it's helping me stay ignited because I know, like that there'll be moments in this journey where I'm like, you know, I'll feel defeated, like I really wanted to roll and I didn't get it, or like I'm tired and I don't feel like going on a fucking audition because I've just got back from working recording three episodes
or whatever, mommy all day, whatever the fuck. But it's like those it's those moments that I'm like trying to stay presentent so that I can come back to that feeling that I felt when I left that audition, that first audition after six years, and remind myself why it is I'm doing it, because I think that's where I lost sight of. That's what I lost sight of in my journey into the space and my journey out of it. When I started podcasting, it was like I was not I didn't know why I was doing it.
Anymore.
I was like, am I just doing it because like I've just been doing this for so long, Like, No, I'm doing it because I love storytelling, I love like the art of it, I love the production of it. I want to direct one day. I will direct one day. And yeah, it feels good to kind of to be
able to do that. So if you're listening to this and you have like a career or something that maybe you've put on the back burner that's like still keeps you up at night that you still think about or you steel like, damn, what if I what if I could have fucking go explore that shit, like for real,
like go explore. It doesn't have to be like balls to the wall, quit your job, you're gonna go, but like just go revisit it and see if it feels different, because nine times out of ten, like you've evolved and like you're going to show up in that space different than you did ten years ago.
And it's it's true, Like I think that there's such a there's such this this non spoken, like weird thing, especially with the inner, that that there's no process and that you have to be perfect and then you have to just like know everything and be an expert and when you show up, it has to be exceptionally perfect, and it's like it's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous concept. And even like you know, I can relate, it's on a
very like minor level. But you know, like I finished school two years ago and like in sexology and this TANTRUC practitioner and I've taken clients privately and like one on one, but I haven't felt like I've like fully stepped into it, and like I don't know what I've
been like afraid of. And like I was thinking the other day and I was like just thinking about all the all the things that have led me to where I'm at, just in general, like hospitality and now I do retreats and like just a people person I've always been and like that I've always wanted to write and I wrote a book. And I was thinking, like in high school I took just because I took it. I took a sexual behavior class at Valley College in eleventh grade. Why who the fuck knows, like a two and a
half hour class like once a week. But I was like, because I've always loved this shit, I've always loved human sex, sexuality. I've always been intrigued by like psychology and like you know,
storytelling and all these things. And it's like we grow get older and we think that there has to be this like huge title or this huge big break, or there has to be this thing that like makes you acceptable by the masses as the as the master of But it's like, what about the fact that like just intuitively, these are things that you fuck with and enjoy and like and that's generally how you get like the big break when you're just doing the art for the fuck
of it. Like Eric and I are sitting here because not because we were like we're gonna be the best motherfucking podcast podcasters in the business.
We were just like, yeah, this is fun. This is fun. Oh, this is this is new.
Oh I could take pictures, so this is fun, you know, and like the curiosity and like the the the energy of something new, and like the collaboration obviously and the friendship.
But just like I was doing, like asked the sexologists.
On my stories and people are like, oh, thank you so much for asking me questions and just participating. And I'm not really someone who likes to talk to camera, but I was like, oh, maybe this is it, because then I have I have a.
I have a.
Like a huh a prompt. I have thinks I have a prompt and it makes it easier to talk, you know, and just talk about it. And I was just like, it's something very small, but it made me feel good and so I understand and like and.
I was just like wondering, like what has stopped me?
I got the piece of fucking paper, It's printed out, it's framed.
Like I didn't never need the piece of paper.
I mean, obviously to know certain things whatever, But this idea in this mainstream society that we need a piece of.
Paper, or we need the big break, or we need to be on six.
Seasons of sex and the city to be recognizable and to like show up and like in all of our essence, Like you've been an actress, you know what I mean. And it's just like I do resonate with that, especially as a mom, because a lot of our our focus goes to others, to our kids, to our marriages, to our need to make money, and not so much just to the art of existing in the presence and the art of creating and like supporting yourself in the community.
So I'm fairly happy for you that you that you jumped back in and that you just did it and that it felt really good and like that you're committing to do that again and like, yeah, I'm I'm excited for just the blossoming and the growth and like what
that does. I think like when you water other parts of your artistry, like it it automatically waters other parts of your life because you're watering yourself and you're going to be creative in more than one way because you're being creative in one space.
You know, Yeah, thank you, And it does feel good. And I'm I'm going to share more of the process, so make sure you you know, you just keep affirming a bitch over here, you know, little more affirmations on the journey. And also being an actor is and and a creator in general is it can be a very lonely and also like it's hard to not judge yourself, you know, because you're always kind of it's being evaluated
and being evaluated in some way. And so I want to encourage everyone listening to like, if you need people in your life to hype you up, like let us hype you up. Join our discord there's a whole community of people there that I'm utilizing. Well, I'm utilizing on this next journey of you know, starting something new in this way.
I think people have a hard time saying I need to be hyped up. Yeah, hey, can you support me? I'm feeling scared. That is not something that we've been like, uh like uh massage.
No. No, We're not supposed to do that. We're supposed to be modest. We're supposed to be humble.
We're supposed to just like move in silence.
Yeah, like and not talk about the thing until it's arrived because it's bad luck or it's untasteful or whatever.
The people are gonna not think I'm good.
At it all that you're about to hear this journey and when I fucking make it on the big screen, bitch, I'm having a fucking viewing. Fucking screening. Okay, we're celebrating.
I'm in a view of I'm viewing of all your of all your stories up till that point.
Maybe that too.
Okay, cut the real GB, Cut the real GB.
We need.
It was gonna be an hour.
You remember when I started in the bathroom, I told you bitches you were gonna see. Oh you don't let me play it for you because I haven't hear mydica. Now I'm accepting my Emmy always knew it.
Yeah, So anyway, I speaking of getting a job.
Oh, I was just gonna say, speaking of sticking to
¶ is rightttttt, some of you need to keep that job, no shade!
your passions and your passion projects and the things that you love and your hobbies and your arts.
Yeah. Did you see Tabitha's recent reel that everyone is up in arms about pissed? Well, you showed it to Okay, I showed it to you. What are your thoughts? Basically? Actually, let's play the clip here.
Hello, dear, real quick that this is not to discourage you, because I want us to be clear about it first. Okay, you kind of been in this place for a long time. Okay, now listen, you got good ideas, baby, you got good ideas.
Your execution is not as good.
Okay, You're followed through not as good.
¶ How openly sharing fears and progress within supportive communities helps sustain motivation and combats the loneliness inherent in creative work.
The ideas, though, are great.
Entrepreneurship.
It it's not for everybody, and that doesn't mean.
It's not for you.
But but right now, these last few months, few years, you know what I'm talking about. Maybe it ain't it ain't been working for you, Okay, And and you're doing a lot of robbing Peter to pay Paul. Okay, you you done got yourself in some mess, and it's time for you to get a a job. Can you hear me? You You just gonna need to get a job for a little while, okay. D It don't mean your ideas ain't good. Okay, don't mean that maybe one day you could be a good entrepreneur. But you have proven to
yourself and everybody else that you owe money to. Okay, that it ain't working right now. Okay, it ain't. It ain't work for a while. It actually has never worked yet. Doesn't mean it won't ever work. But right now you need to go to work, and you're gonna need to get a job, okay, and then keep working towards it, but at least you will have a job while you are pursuing that thing. But right now you need to get a job, baby, all right, that's it.
I love you. They're going to watch your business. Okay.
Have to have a good night tomorrow, have a good day.
But even if you can't have a.
Good one, don't today'll go messing up.
Nobody else is here.
Don't be mad at me.
Okay, So the bitches are mad.
I feel I'm gonna say, how oft this is right? I mean, the two things can exist at one time, too right.
I think it's the messenger that people get mad about.
You know, she's made it and she's rich. Well, it doesn't mean the.
Message is wrong at all. It's just like people take issue with the messenger and often can't hear the message because of the messenger. I think that I don't think that she's not the right messenger. I'm just saying I think that that's where the issue lies for a lot of people that are up in arms about her saying this.
I think that a hit dog will holler and if some that And I'm not saying stop and abandon your dreams, but I'm saying people, I know I've said that we've been delusional and it's worked for us in our life. But I think people are delusional in the sense that people will suck, like will jeopardize their livelihood for a dream, and sometimes it works, and sometimes you end up homeless.
And you can't a part of the story. And that's part of your story, and that could be part of your story. If you're a lone, single wolf alone in the world, and you don't have any cubs to care for sure. If that's your story, you've you fucking couchsurfed for years and then you made it. Congratulations. I don't believe in.
CouchSurfing for years over a certain age, I don't believe. I'm not saying like I think that some people sometimes pursue their side hustles to a point where it's it sacrifices there I don't know, stability, their mental stability. It actually sacrifices the dream. Most dreams require some sort of investment. So you know, like if you're a rapper and you want to be a rapper, you gotta have money for the studio. You gotta have money for the for the video.
You gotta know if you want the video to look good, you gotta have a.
Fucking main hustle to supplement and support the side hustle. So I just think, like I think it actually is is more.
It gives more to the side hustle or to the passion project if you have the means to not be worrying about food and shelter and how you're going to feed this main hustle. And I don't think a lot of people want to hear that, because.
Even on the retreats, I feel like people get the holy ghost of spirit and they abandon they jump ship. I've seen women be like, I'm in year four medical school. I'm quitting. Fuck it happened to her, by the way, I need to figure out where did she open up that dance school and she quit medical school? And I'm pretty sure it worked. I don't know.
I believed her, but and sometimes it works, and only you know how how how how deep the fire is burning. But I do believe in Like, it's really hard to focus on a passion project if you are fucking about to be evicted and starving.
Yeah, I mean I think I think that also, and I know because I've been there.
I think that also, like sometimes you have to quit the job, go through entrepreneurship or whatever, do the passion project fail, maybe even go homeless to then realize, like the lesson of okay, let me recalibrate, I maybe need to do both. I can do both, or like or figuring out what that looks like. I think that's something.
I think that also, as I'm sitting here thinking about why women are so mad about this, because there's a lot of facts is also it's just a sensitive time because facts, because there's the fact of the matter is faxes.
There's a lot of faxes.
I had to say that there's a lot of faxes because there's a lot of people that have lost their job, Like it's not so easy to just go get a nine to five, especially in this climate where three hundred and fifty thousand black women are out of work.
Exactly, That's what I'm saying.
I'm saying, if you're just setting like if you're sending in your resignation letter from a good job right now, rethink that.
Well.
I think that she was more speaking to the people that are have been living off of their dream and the dream is no longer working and instead of realizing and jesting and shifting to the time that hey, maybe I need to go back to that job, they are scheming and scamming and borrowing money, not paying people back and putting their families in jeopardy and putting themselves in jeopardy.
And I think those things can be true, But I also know that the climate of finding work is also it's easier said than done.
Hell yeah, this worker is not easy to come by right now. People have been looking for jobs for over a year, Like it's not we're not in a place.
AI is taking over, you.
Guys, And that's what I'm saying, Like even the jobs that maybe you might go back to to go get your nine to five have changed, like that position no longer exists anymore because AI has taken over. So her comment is mirroring people's fears. And also, like I said, the messenger of her Tabitha, who is super successful, is on home shopping Network on the post right before selling her products, you know, living in the life of her.
But that was not always that. She didn't start there she was driving uber of course not.
But I'm just saying, these are the These are the triggers that people have for the messenger that's being said. It's kind of like person when Kim Kardashian was like, bitch, you need to work harder.
That's a two different. That's two different. That's totally different.
Though we've seen she's talked really transparent and I don't even I'm not even a huge tab at the fan, Like I don't know.
She's shared. She has shared her journey, which is also part of like what we were talking about before, Like we have seen her audience has watched her struggle and her growth all the way.
¶ Conversations with kids about dreams, affirmations, and fear
Why why it's probably even more triggering.
I mean, I feel like it's it's triggering, but it's also like I saw you go get it, Like I can't really be mad at that messenger because you've actually probably experienced hardship. It'd be Kim Kay, you were sucking Very Jay's dick, and your mom made that shit work, and here you are now you have a fucking BOLLI.
Her baseline was privileged, like her daughter. Her dad was a lawyer, like you know.
She Paris Hilton's assistant.
You know, so it's not relatable, Like I don't want to hear that shit, like I think I was watching.
I was thinking I was.
I was listening to a podcast about the founder of Glossier and she's like, oh, I got an internship at Vogue because my neighbor got it for me.
And then I asked, can I do my own column? And like, turn your shit off. I don't hear his fucking white bitch talk about how she had an internship at Velu and then it spawned into Glassier. Like to me, it's not relatable. I don't want to hear that shit, like, it doesn't sound like you've strapped up your boots. Bitch, you were already in a privileged position and then you got more privilege. Oh, magic manifestation and not this thing. She hasn't worked really hard.
But I'm saying most people don't even get to the internship at fucking Vogue because you don't live two doors down from the they get vote right, because your daddy doesn't know his homeboy or whatever the fuck. And so it's like we're starting at two different starting points. But I think that there has to be yes delusion, but there has to be reality. You have to And this is coming from a bitch who daily tries to escape
¶ Saying YES to delusion but also saying YES to reality!
the three D world, as in right now, I'm trying to avoid all things.
But the reality is the reality.
Bills have to get paid, your stomach needs to be fed, like your kidney to be fed. Things have to still on a day to d basis be taken care of.
And it's not fun.
I've been there, and it's not fun to be worrying about that shit. So get your ducks in a row and then pursue and pour into the other shit and like, do both. And I know it's hard and it's easier said than done. But like abandoning ship on all your fucking responsibility.
Ain't it so? Tabitha? You go ahead, You keep telling these bitches okay, because it's true.
In breaking heart news, Baddy Winkle has passed.
¶ RIP , that baddest old lady on the net!
Let's take this moment of silence for Baddie.
I feel like we did to smoke a joint for Batty. Do we have weed for Baddy Winkle?
What's in that thing? It says two grams of something.
This is like we gotta smoke in bad Yeah, yeah, this is for Baddie.
Is a big fat If you're home right now, and if you don't know who Baddy Winkle is, open up your Instagram. She's the baddest bitch of the elderlies. She's been. She is a geriatric barad bitch.
And she's a geriatric bad bitch, and she's.
Been a jeriacic bad bitch for some years. She was born in nineteen twenty nine, twenty eight, So how old is that? Somebody do the math? I mean in nineteen twenty eight. Oh my gosh, she's a cancer. It makes so much sense.
How old is she?
Ninety eight?
Wow? You know?
I because she was being a bad bitch.
She lived that long, and with technology and weed, I'm going to live at least to one hundred and eleven.
Okay, well, let's take a moment to bless this joint for Baddie Winkle and all the elderly bad bitches, but specifically Baddie Winkle, who.
Like really set the precedent for geriatric bad bitches and for us to just always be bad bitches no matter how old you are.
Yes, may we always remember how bad, how good, how sexy, how you can dress like a little hoochie at any age, and you could smoke weed at any age, and you could still party with the young'ins at any age, and.
You could maybe even become a seventy eight year old influencer.
Yeah, you could be a.
Late late late in life TikTok star on the rise, and Batty Winkle showed us all that there's no side project that doesn't matter.
I don't know who her great great granddaughter was, but they really put her on.
They put her the fuck on. So bless their family, Bless Batty Winkle. We love you.
Rest in power, Rest and power. Batty like that shit up, but for real, I do want to be. I do want to live into my elderly bad bitch years. I want to be a geriatric bad bitch. You are, and so it is, and so it is right.
I want to really be at least one hundred and eleven.
So the old the one thing that you have to do, or that we have to do, if we're going to be geriatric bad bitches, we got to take care of our bodies so that we're not in pain, so that we can still like throw we can. We don't throw a hip out trying to be a bad periatric bitch.
I have literally almost thrown a hip out just fucking for like extended amount of time, more stretching. I know it's crazy.
So now I haven't been in the gym lately, and I feel really good about it. I'm not gonna lie. I feel stronger, and my butt I feel like it's getting bigger.
Good. I'm gonna show you when this is over so you can affirm that my butt is getting bigger.
Why don't you show us right now?
Okay, I was gonna take my pants down.
Okay, Oh you can pull the panther on okay, oh oh oh oh, what color is my thonge let's see purple, like purple lavender.
Okay, let's see the butt turn the butt.
Oh oh.
A little big, Yeah, I see it.
I see it. Wow, look at that wagon. It's gorgeous.
I see it if you guys, don't you? But I don't know what the fuck you're doing and surging my eight week my two week workout plan. My butt is huge, huge, looks great.
I think you're on your way to being a geriatric, bad bitch.
Not too soon, okay, I'm just saying like you're on the path.
Okay, first fifty years. Fifty years is what age is like? The geriatric come in.
Oh right now, they're calling us geriatric pregnancies. We're already geriatric. I rebuke that in the name according to medical.
No, but I really have thought, like Tama, if I want to keep going hard in the paint like this, I have to go hard in the like the workout. So I know soning and I'm going to take vitamins and seamas. And I always say this like every other week because the government's trying to kill us. But I'm really tapping in now. Yeah, so I won't be a geriatric dead bitch.
Yeah. No, I've I've been taking my tinctures every morning. If you follow me on Instagram at watch Erica, come take your vitamins with me in the morning, because it's the only reason or way that I can remember to do it is if the Internet holds me accountable. And I think that I was having this conversation with my friend yesterday because my high school reunion is coming up and I'm missing it. I'm not even gonna go. Why because I'm gonna be in New York.
You're really looking forward to it. You really had big plans, I know, but I like money show those bitches spas.
I told them to FaceTime me when they get there. It's not the FaceTime FaceTime me at the reunion. But I was talking to my friend who went to high school with because she just went to Vegas. We used to go to Vegas every birthday, like from like age sixteen to maybe like twenty five or something. I went to Vegas with her for her birthday and it was always like debaucherous and then like you know, life happened, babies happen, marriage happened. Anyway, she was like, I want
to go again. So she went this year and I told her I was like, we had just got back from the retreat, like, girl.
I remember, so did she have a great time?
She was like, it's not. She's like it's not the same. What I did learn though, was that the day parties are still the best thing. Really, Yes, the night is where the night's not where it's at. It's the day party, pool party. And I was like I always knew that,
¶ Embracing imperfection: why the process beats perfection every time.
like even then. But she also said that it's just like it's just like as she's gotten older, she realized, like the spontaneity, it's harder for her to be as spontaneous because like she has, she doesn't the plan.
Like if if I take shots in the day, I can't. We're not going on.
It's not even that, it's like where are we going tonight? Like I don't want to meet a guide the casino who's going to guide us to the club and we're gonna figure it out from there?
Like no, right, we're gonna stand in line?
Hell no, Like no, I want to know where we're going.
Do we have a table?
Who's the you know, you kind of have to be fluzy enough to meet the guy with the table at the casino.
But she said the one big takeaway was that she needed to dress up more. That like she's been knee deep in motherhood for like the past. She has two kids and they're like both under like six or something. And she's like, I've just haven't been myself. I haven't been dressing up. I haven't been putting the dress on,
putting makeup on. Like it's just that's my lesson. And she's like, and I realized that I need to work out, and that like this body is not the body, not like you want to have the same body, but that this is a time in our life that kind of like can make or break how we look in the future.
I read that at thirty six, like this in your body starts keeping the score for real.
Right, So, like those usual tricks that you used to do, starving yourself for a week and then you have an ab that shit doesn't exist anymore. There's no muscle underneath their babe, there's no muscle that's lifting that ass up anymore. So you like, stopping to drinking soda for one week isn't going to make you have a fat ass anymore. You actually have to do weightlifting.
It's so crazy you said that. I was literally like put like doing leg presses in the gym, and I was like, you know, I looked like this for a
¶ Why the ages 35-40 are critical for your geriatric bad bitch-dom!
long time. And I was like I danced in senior year, Like how long does memory memory muscle? Like what does a mess muscle memory work? I was like, this is probably my last.
Year, Like I really have to keep going because my twelfth grade muscle memory is not going to serve me at age thirty seven.
Oh my god.
So yeah, I was thinking that about like my abs and like the little bit of muscle like definition I have in my legs. I was literally like the last time I like consistently worked out was all throughout high school as like a dancer, and I had like a fucking Nazi ass dance teacher.
But yeah, I was like, I have to develop this discipline.
Or else I'm gonna lose it and I'm gonna be like a skinny, flabby girl and I don't want that.
Yeah, So this is a crucial time. This is a crucial time if you're listening Buckle.
Up, Sugar Cup, Buckle up, Sugar Cup.
Due chapter bitches, if you are around the age of thirty five to forty, get it together.
Now the time we are getting together.
This is the year.
This is it.
We're already at the end of the year, so this is We're going to start early with our year's resolutions. We're starting now in September.
So by January it'll be like I'm already in it.
I'm already in it. Like you don't have to get ready, You're already a stressed out You're in it. We're like, actually, yes, let's talk about these resolutions now. Think about your resolutions now.
It's pre resolution time, pre resolution.
Yes, I think that actually that needs to be a serious thing.
Pre resolution, because then you won't put so much pressure on yourself New Year's and then you'll be like already, like.
This is it. This is the time.
You're already embodying the thing that you are calling.
In So.
And also, my vanity just won't allow me to look my age like I have to always I don't care where I'm at in the world, how I am.
The young bitch is always like, oh my god, really you're all right, You're like, yeah, I united, bitch.
This guy asked for my ID the other day and I was like, thank you for that, and I was like, God, I've reached the apra I'm thinking.
We got it.
I remember being around I remember being around other women that would.
Do that, like my mom, like thank you. We gotta stop doing that. That's gonna age es too. Just more things we gotta stop doing. Happy happy birthday. No acting shocks when people are like, oh my god, you're like I almost look at them like, well, your your your.
Use your trans age anyway. So it's fine.
But if someone said, my I d I'm gonna have to get if. If I'm going to get an age change with today's technology and a certain amount of money,
¶ Milah is getting an age change
I'm gonna get it.
On my breath, i can't breathe. Yeah, you're here.
Here first guys, Oh my god, Jamel and Matt and I'm getting an age change.
Oh wow.
Okay, I'm not gonna tell anybody except you everybody on the internet who heard.
But after that, no way speak of it.
We'll delete this episode. Delete it, like Bobby, Wait, did you see Bobby and Drake's new entry into podcasting. Apparently he deleted the episode that they did.
How does he have the power with her?
I don't know they deleted it, but anyway, I'm getting off topic, but it made me think of we could just delete, just delete it.
Oh, just like our wholeness. Remember Drea said delete, we delete that episode.
It didn't exist.
We never said it. My people were back. No, it was deleted.
When people started saying something I don't remember or that
¶ CLT + ALT + DEL Theory
I don't I'm not going to recall them, and to say control A delete, control out delete, control delete, it was like start malfunctioning.
Control delete.
Oh no, that was deleted off my record.
Control out delete, that was deleted. Asked me something right now?
I asked you, if I was born in the year I was born, were you born in nineteen eighty eight?
Control out delete?
Okay, I'm trying to think like what I would think if you said that. I guess it's like confusing enough for me to be like, let's move on. We're moving on. Let's subject Is she robot?
Is she human? I don't know? Control al delete?
Wow?
Yeah, control all delete? Is that the name of this episode?
Maybe yesterday when I did ask a sexologist on my stories, somebody said, like, do we do are we counting people that we had sex with? Like if it's just intercourse or like what about like deep intimate like connections?
And I said, you're counting whoever you want. It's up to you.
If you don't want those niggas to count, control delete honestly, like if you were a condom, that's already control a delete. But just in general, if you want to delete, let me tell you from someone meet. I delete shit from my mind. I tell these two motherfuckers right here never speak of it again. And if you talk to me like it exists, IM gonna look at you crazy as hell.
And you've seen me do it. You've seen me do it. I will control all delete some shit, and you.
Can't do niggas, bitches, whole years of your life control out delete I I nobody can tell you what happened. Your body can know the fuck it can control. Delete it from my memory. Don't remember shit, but you're living a memory all by yourself. Don't know what you're talking about. Don't resonate, don't identify.
I don't don't. I don't know her who her?
Who? That wasn't me.
That's another Jamila, literally another treat.
Treat your past selves like bitches. You don't know because I'm a different bitch now.
I mean, I think that we should give ourselves the grace to do that, because sometimes you have to create new neuropaths in your brain in order to even really believe it, or else you're just lying to You're just lying.
You don't believe. It is an idiomar basically controlled delete, like remember it and then you delete it.
You reprogram it. Yeah, so like's not deletion. It's more of a different outcome.
This is actually a new version of DMR. It's my I disbirth it right now.
It's called control delete there and if you come in my d MS, I can lead you through it, control all delete and we can just reprogram the whole It could just be gone.
We can.
You can reprogram your whole life.
I mean, you are a licensed hypnotherapist.
I know I'm not.
So she's going to control all delete.
Anything that you want out of your life. Just call me.
If you're digmatized right now, you need to hypnotize that nigga out your life.
Get undigmatized. Call me my miss cleo.
I'm not joking that that would be very powerful, because when it bitch is digmatized, it's like almost worse than heroin.
It is.
It's dick cessation.
You need to be hypnotized to remove it from your subconscious and then your body will respond. It's your mind that's sucking up right now, and I can help you with that. Look, I got a whole new nigga. I controlled all deleted a lot of dicks out of my life.
Once.
It had me fucking crazy, worse than fentanyl.
I saw it.
I was there, I was actually crazy like a crackhead. And now control Delete I like this, this is a commercial.
We're obviously very high. Now I'm convinced control delete. I'm sold. Okay, So if you if you experienced DMR, there's another, a whole new level new ship you didn't even know about yet.
I've been using it in my whole life. Actually, now I'm realizing and it's worked just great.
Yeah, yeah, perfect. Maybe I need to I need some I definitely need some control all delete. I feel like I've controlled all delete, but then it always comes back to haunt me. So I haven't fully deleted it. Perhaps you got it like a delete it. This is control a delete somatic edition. Yeah, get it out of your body. Then, so those first there's the first level one of control delete, and that's the mind, and then we master the body and.
Then it's gone, not even in the cloud nowhere. Oh my god, are you gonna pull the tarot time?
Oh? Sure?
Unless you have any bad choices this week?
Do I have any bad choices this week?
Bad mom?
Not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
So good.
I'm I don't think I have any bad choices. I had some challenging moments.
Yeah.
¶ Bad choice of the week Segment
I had a moment where like it was just like there was a lot going on and like Iri, it was like with sha Keem and Iri and Irin like threw something at Shakeem's face and he's like been in pain and so he was like, ah, it was like he like cowered in pain. And I was like, oh my god. And then she was like and then she started crying. She was like felt bad. But then like it was like this whole thing that happened, and I was just like don't. I was like, don't you start crying?
Like why the fuck are you crying?
Like you hurt him?
And then I was like, oh my god, because she feels bad. But then also like now he has to take care of her anyway. I got I was overwhelmed, and I was just like yelled at her and then I was like are you okay? And then she went upstairs, and I was like, what the fuck do I do in this situation? Like what is motherhood? What is like girlfriendhood? What is the right thing? Yeah, and so I had to go upstairs and talk to her, and it was it was fun. It was actually an opportunity that I
felt like there was growth and understanding. But in that moment, I was just.
Like, this is too many people to manage. Fuck, it makes me feel like the manager and there's so many people.
The bad choice was like do I need a girl? Do I need to be a girlfriend and a mom? Like why do I do any of these things? I could have just been Erica and where I am.
It's been me and that's it, and not brought no other problems in the masterhood myself, that's a mother. Instead, I've brought other elements in here that now I have to master and work on and do the work.
Why got it?
Like why God? Why do we off for these lifestyles?
So that wasn't that's my bad choice of the week was I guess those negative thoughts. I was like, I don't know, I don't want to do none of this ship yeah forever and then but then I got past it and it was great. It was like and I was happy that I got well, happy I got to talk to him. I like have that opportunity with her, and it was fine, and it was what we're gonna say.
Also, you don't have to be like the manager. Sometimes I just let some hash it up.
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and sometimes like yeah, when it's been two d she was talking ship.
To Orlando, he like got in her ass. I was like, you, like, you're acting crazy, Like what the fuck?
So yeah, and you know, I also went to back to school night high and I didn't like take into account for it. And then she started talking about sixth grade and then I just start crying and to school night because I was high, and I was like, I'm prepared. I was like, why is she talking about this? And I was like, oh, because she's gonna graduate.
And I was like.
Trying to hold it together, and I'm like I should never have gotten high before this.
Did you actually cry? See you cry? No?
I was like trying to hold it in. And I was like she was talking to like a group of parents. So I was just hoping that like one tier didn't come streaming down my eye.
Wow, Wow, that hasn't happened. Yet I know it's coming though.
Fuck it was.
I was like, I was almost offended that this bitch brought it up without like precursor, Like I know we're at the parent teacher fucking back to school night, but bitch, stop, slow down.
This is the day one. Why are we talking about junior high? You need warm bitches. You say this is a junior high meeting.
Yeah that's true. You know, like send a junior high subject to.
My inbox, so I'm prepared to talk about junior high things.
Yeah, because like, what, why are we talk about the end of the year. It's motherfucking September.
We just got out of summer. What are you talking?
I think you're talking about homework and things. Now I'm crying because you're a bitch. She was a bit. She was a very nice woman, but you know what I mean.
You know you're caught off guard.
Fair pick a card? Bit, it's reverse though, did you did you shuffle it?
Guess?
So I just pulled the same card we pulled last week? Or is this first week? Oh wow, it's just a reoccurring card I keep pulling, but it's upside down, so it's gonna have a different meaning.
Which is the tower, and the tower looks like shit is shit is going down there. It looks hectic, it looks but.
If it's upside down, it actually looks like they're rejoicing.
Okay.
The tower or reverse suggests that you are undergoing a significant personal transformation and upheaval.
This differs from the experience.
Of the tower upright, where the change is often because of external circumstances and may even feel forced upon you. Instead, with the tower reverse, you're instigating the change and calling into question your fundamental belief systems, values, purpose, and meaning. You may go through a spiritual awakening as you discover a new spiritual path. You may change your beliefs and opinions about important topics, realizing that you can no longer
¶ Tarot Segment
support older models, or, in more dramatic cases, you may go through an existential crisis where you seriously question your life's purpose. While this can be an unsettling time, trust in the process and know it is for the best. You're creating change and transformation so you can step into a new and evolved version of yourself. It also can be a sign that you are resisting change in delaying
the necessary destruction and upheaval. You may be in denial that change is occurring, or you may be clinging to an old belief system even though you know that they are no longer relevant or healthy for you. As much as you don't want to, you need to go through this difficult time to learn a valuable lesson and make progress in your life. And know that you continue to resist this and know if you continue to resist this change, it will only force its way into your life even more.
The growth and transformation that the Tower brings is inevitable.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Yeah, okay, God, I hear you Tower twice. I let me be more clear. Let me make it clear.
I know we rarely read them upside down too, but that was actually very clear. Yeah, change is a coming. That was my download I got doing our psilocybin in Costa Rica too, which shit is changing every second, every breath, every moment. Everybody's growing, So do what you want with that. Thank you guys for listening. Hi, I'm high to rest
in peace, Battywinkle rest and peace baby. Subscribe and like this episode and comment and communicate with us, because we are communicating all the time and we don't know what the fuck you're thinking. So it'd be nice to know what's going on over there and go see us on YouTube. I showed my butt this episode very important information. Follow us on socials at Good Mom Underscore, Bad Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices, the Good Vibe Retreat ww dot Good Momsbadchoices
dot com. You can find me at Mila Underscore map. If you have any asked us sexologist questions, I'll be asked. I'll be answering questions on hump Day.
Oh I like that.
It makes sense. And you can follow me at watch Erica and make sure you follow our discord so we can hype you up. Make sure you go to patreon dot com slash Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, Petreon dot com slash Mom's Bad Choices and join our discord community. We have an amazing community of women and men over there, and these different channels that women are and men are connecting in and one of them we hype you up. So let's type each other up and be brave and you will.
Love you.
Yeah.
I'm living so good.
Can't you tell?
I went through a drought that's until I found a well madem have been known earth. I used to be broken tail now got the Blues DC like Beyonce Jisell throat shots with popping his cow. We're in our voices. Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploits. Women put the PI and powers, so what's pointless?
They want me to be good, So I made bad choices.
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Gitter's in on. Put cannabis in their bath.
Bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat.
Boss tied dog.
Now I'm immune to.
The cat called Herbie and no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign.
Mother Wen the number went to it.
It's like a water sum where you in the winter resential will when the summertime. I do what all ain't no one that needs to run it by