Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife, and she couldn't.
She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.
She was a good woman who always made good choices.
We're good Mom's bad choices to single mom who said fuck the patriarchy shared all their bad choices and sound out they were so bad.
After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
I can.
Welcome back to good Mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and I'm Nila. Happy hump Day, motherfuckers. Today is Wednesday.
As always, We've met you every Wednesday for eight years on hump Day, to say, get the humping on.
Speak of eight years, you guys, guess the fuck what it is?
Our eight year anniversary, bait, eight year anniversary.
It's our anniversary. We've been doing this ship for eight year. I can't believe that that's a crazy number. And I actually I looked at the number of eight in the like what it means, because like, what the fuck does eight mean?
This is the longest relationship I've ever had.
And I can't believe that we've talked this many times for the eight years on top of all the other talks that we already have, Like God, damn.
It's you know what we're like, lesbian's turbo because aha, we're turbo lesbians. Because if we've been in if we've done this eight years in a row, that means we've talked like eight hundred thousand hours.
The number eight symbolizes power, financial abundance, authority, and karma and numerology. It represents balance, infinity, and achievement, encouraging hard work, confidence, material success who often associated with new beginnings. It's also the sign of the Infinity sign, so it's forever and ever and ever and ever. Those with the life path eight are often seen as natural leaders, driven by ambition and the desire to control their own destiny through hard work,
efficiency and organizational ability. And in case you wanted to know what it means in the Bible, the Bible, yeah, let's go for it, but Jesus. In the Bible, eight signifies a new beginning as it follows the seven day Creation week, representing a new order of resurrection. It also is connected to the circumcision of the heart and the Holy Spirit. Wait, what the heart circum I guess so because I had to rebad. Is that circumstansiircum heart?
Maybe? Because so that the circumcision of the heart in the what.
It means continuous flow interconnection of the of the material and spiritual worlds.
I like materials and tangibles. I like that a lot, because this is a year.
Baby, this is our I mean, every year, every.
Year is our year. But it feels right that in year eight it's talking about tangible finances because I really feel like this. I nobody say this. Every year we got to but every year we have upped our up our like upped our income up to our our output, uped our you know, we've upped the things. So I think this year it really represents something where I don't know, like and I think about where we started and where we're at right now. I do feel like, wow, we've
grown a whole lot. Lots of things have happened. Yeah, and we've been like working on a very top secret project project, and we've been looking a lot back at our history, in our our content, in our our old episodes, and it is really incredibly like heartwarming to.
Watch us literally grow and just like our faces, our voices.
It's so crazy. I'm just like really proud of the fact that we were consistent and that we stayed down for this.
Do you know what I just realized, Oh my god, I'm getting those months. I just wanted. First of all, I just want us to mark our words here. Sometimes you have to like literally screenshot mark the words. I'm marking this moment right now because when we look back on this moment at the end of this year, there are going to be a lot of things that have
shifted for us. And we can't really speak on it right now, but we have this really these really important meetings next week, and it's the week it's that it's the of our anniversary. It's a week of our eight year anniversary. Wow, we're having these meetings. What the fuck?
What like to the to the date?
Like God, thank oh my God.
Sometimes God be speaking to you, but you don't be listening. You don't really see the the synchronicities, and you don't realize it's it's her being like got you big, God is good man. Yeah, I knew that.
When this moment came to pass, which they're like, what is the moment. You'll find out later. But when it came to pass, it was going to be divine. It was going to be exactly what we hoped for. It was going to be so specific, and it is because we're some specific ass, manifesting ass, which is And on that note, I would like for us to take a toast in honor. You know, I feel like at all of our anniversary shows are all we drinking champagne. But this is really our main day, Yeah, it really is.
We try to be classy because it's usually daytime. But I almost took a shot this morning clean my kitchen, but I didn't eat enough. I still haven't eaten enough.
But you know this one, I have to say, this brand is very strong. It's not for shot reprisado.
I know, for shots it's I wouldn't recommend this to shoot, but this is what we got. And Erica said we couldn't ask our rapper neighbor for juice, so I.
Just already went over there. I didn'tant to talk to him again. God, you could have went over.
He's nicer to you. He likes see it are your share one.
Well. Also on the way over here, I broke the other shot class. Okay, so we only have one, which makes a lot of sense because we all want entity. Put a little loving into this cup of these spirits, this cup of tequila. Please let our entity continue to expand, protect our friendship, protect our protect the stories that we've told here and what other and other stories that have
been told here from our guests, from our listeners. You guys are intrinsically part of this journey in such a intense way, and I'm just so grateful that you guys have listened and tuned in for eight years, watched our evolution, watched our growth, and I'm just grateful that we continue to say yes even during hard times, because that's when actually it means the most. So thank you God, Thank you most hi, thank you motherfucking tribe. We love you. And cheers, cheers go first.
Who it's two twenty two to two?
What that was crazy?
And our tribe is calling us on Instagram? I know who?
What the f?
I don't know what's happening, but wow, what tribe it from Instagram? Twenty two? Baby? Now you look up what that means?
God?
All this, look at look at God. It never ends. Honestly, I feel like we say this a lot, and if you're a newcomer, we're gonna say it again. I'm going to continue to say it. When Erica and I met and we started to say yes, and we started to speak things, and literally we didn't really know each other, but we started to just have joint visions of what we wanted this to become. And they were literally dreams because we had no idea how we were gonna manifest
those things. They were really big dreams, really big guests, and we didn't know shit about podcasting, like not a single thing. We literally just winged it, and we started to see, like so many things just come to fruition and knowing that when you meet someone who you're supposed to create with and produce with, like the entity is created, and our entity has been so mother fun and strong, Like things like this happen to us all the time.
The calls, the time the song comes on, the opportunity just happens to be eight years to the date that we birthed our podcast and started to show like nothing is ever by chance, and it's like everything is a part of the story and you have to pay attention because like whatever you want, you can literally have it's about under like visualizing it and seeing it. And then when you have someone who also shares the vision that you have, it gives it power and it makes it,
ignites it even quicker and even faster. And I think just having someone else believe in something that you also believe in, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm not crazy, I could totally make a million dollars. Whereas alone you start yourself, doubt will stop to creep in. But when you have two delusional bitches but out, yeah, it's crazy.
Boom boom boom boom boo boom boom boom. No. I agree. And when we were talking today about this secret project that we have going, I was thinking, like, you know, we hear about this all the time. It's like you can't just manifest, you have to actually do it. And we did it. We fucking envisioned it. We wrote it down, we made versions of it, like we spoke about it as if it was already done. We said where we wanted it to be, we said who we wanted to
be a part of it. Like it's just we spoke it into existence continuously, over and over and over again, and now.
The fuck it's here, seeing too too too is widely interpreted in numerology. Is an angel number is signaling harmony, balance, and alignment in your life. It access a reassuring sign from the universe to maintain faith, embrace patience, and foster collaboration in relationships and career endeavors and encourages staying positive
and trusting. The path you're on is strong signed to cultivate equilibrium in your life, whether it is work life balance, emotional stability, or harmony in relationships.
YEP, sounds about what we need to do and continue to do.
Your life's son that your life is unfolding exactly as it should, encouraging you to have faith. It's crazy. I already cried this morning, some water sign crying ass bitches. Yeah,
but I'm really I'm just grateful. I'm grateful to be sitting in our own studio, sitting with David who is our OGU, producer, director, fucking videographer, an editor, visionary that really, like, I don't know, I feel like when David came to our lives and we were like we started getting popping, like we started to believe the poppin thiss and we started to see the vision. I like it's killing these clips. Well he is.
He set the standard for our clips. Let's set the standard for how clips like continue to be shared in this space because it started without even it being like I'm not trying toete my own horn, but let me just tell to my own horn for one second. Because I got on the phone with someone today and she and she asked me how long I've been podcasting. I said, funny should ask. It's my eight year anniversary. And she said, oh, damn, y'all,
like I have been doing this like for before. It was like cool, like before people were here and I was like, yeah, we have, and then like we were recording in my on my iPhone, and then we got in the studio because we need to get out of my house, not realizing that that's where podcasts were starting to shift, was like into these like set dynamics, looking like we're on set. We were one of the first podcasts to really up the ante when it came to like the visual of what this show looked like. And
David was a really big part of that. We love you David for making those clips like quick witty to the point so people knew and knew exactly what they were about to get so David's also pioneer. I know you don't know who David is, but I'm gonna tag him on this fucking.
Last time we showed David on the Instagram.
I know they were like, whoa, who was David? Take it? I know.
I was just talking about you, David the other day and I was telling Erica because I said, I think she said you had another project with like with like the like the prisoners and like in jail and rehabilitation. And I said, because when we started with David things like twenty five or twenty four, he's like twenty nine now. And I was like, Damn, David's going to have the.
Most wide spectrum of like the what a real like it's showing his work. No, I was just like the of knowledge.
I was like, he's gonna have the most like random like young white male and to be like, no, I know all about single motherhood, no actually free bleeding, no open open relationships. Let me tell you a little bit more about that. I'm like, oh, Krin Stephans, No, no I know about her. I literally is like, Damn, David is such an insight to like a are psychonists so shout out. Shout out to any man that can thrive in our world, in business and in personal relationships, because
I realize that we're kind of nuts. We're kind I know, chat GBT keeps describing us as fucking chaotic, and I really hate it, but I yeah, it's kind of true. We both have add on a severe level. I'm not claiming that I have to for my sanity because it's the only thing that describes what the fuck that's wrong with me. I just have a lot of thoughts. I have a lot of thoughts, rap it, a lot of thoughts, a lot of rabbit like I often think, if someone had a camera on me alone, look crazy, Like I'm like,
thank god nobody can see this. But for real, for sticking with us, and like riding with us and understanding our vision even when we're late, even when we're have seventeen purses and seventeen bags and we need help moving furniture because we were moving furniture in your mom's office. We were our first studio was her mom's office on the off day, and we would smoke weeds so it could air out, and we would move all of the office furniture out of one office, like heavy shit.
Every time there was.
Something that was very particularly heavy, was the was it the fucking dresser? It was something that it was like always every time, WHOA then we moved it back, like it was really intense. And I'm just really grateful for the whole team, for me, for Tarini, for Orlando, for David, like Shay, you know, everybody who has like really boggled down with us, and even those of you who we.
Had to let go, Bless your hearts.
The show still goes on, and it's just all been very intricate and very beautiful and very intentional, and bitch, it's about to be our whole thirties that we've been together. It's been like thirty to forty. The other day, we have a friend who goes to Luna's school, and he was like, he's friends with Eric his baby daddy, and he's like, you should have so and so on, and
I was like, probably not. And then I was like, if the baby daddy's ever get on the show, just know it's the second to last episode and we're probably at year ten. I was like, at year ten, second to last episode, well, maybe I don't think I've ever had more.
I don't think me and your baby daddy have ever shared more than like four sentences back and forth in the amount of time we've known each other. I like can't even imagine sitting down with him and having a full conversation. It's never happened. I don't think I've ever spoke to him more than two minutes. Maybe mad probably haven't in like a whole decade.
The thing is, he's like fake quiet. He's a libra. He is very like in public, he's very quiet unless he's drunk, and that's how you know he's drunk. But other than that, that was the problem. He was only talking to me.
No, I won't shut the fuck up.
He was only talking to me.
And I was like, and I told Erica.
Recently, I saw him at at the same parent a BSU meeting and he kissed me on the cheek, and I was like, I didn't know what to do. It's like, like, okay, are we friends.
Because we try to test you. You know, if you're listening, you have a baby dad. If you know, baby Daddy's be trying to test the especially after they've been married, especially I do you think I'm gonna be like? I mean, they just it's a test.
I don't even know if he knows.
See, of course he does. Someone has told him, Are you kidding? Yeah, I'm sure they absolutely, there's no way he doesn't know.
And I blocked him or Luna asked me to block him, like a couple of years ago, and so I.
He had But you guys have other people.
Yeah, and good Mom says, probably the world.
In which he doesn't know you're married, which is why he kissed you on the side of your mouth, because he's testing you. Because these niggas like to test just a little bit.
I'm not gonna talk shit because he's been he's been sending money for the first time and the first time in eleven years. So I'm gonna just shut the fuck up. But also, yeah, weird, but I know, I'm really and I'm grateful for you. You're the one who actually pushed us. This is the one thing we have very like slight differences, because we're similar in a lot of ways, I think, but like there are certain things like Eric will be like, no, we have to do this, and I'm like, do we
have to go to your mom's studio? The living rooms so nice, it's so comfy, everybody loves the dining room. It makes them feel like they're at home. It's like, no, everybody's going to the studio. When you go to the studio, I'm like, okay, fine. And now we were ahead of the game, ahead of the curve, and I'm just I'm
grateful for our set. I don't know if you guys realized, because we just realized recently that we have worn many hats including we've been editor, we've been cameraman, we've been set designer, we've been author, we've been orderer of sign we've been set designer furniture, we've been stylists, to make a part of stylists, make about his wardrop hair stylist, train of director, scriptwriter, editor, it, social marketing, you name it,
we've fucking done it. So I also would like, I think I feel this with the year of the fire Horse, and I invite you to do the same, like this is the year and for everyone listening to stop fucking doubting yourself, stop fucking questioning yourself, stop questioning what your talents are, which you've done all the things you've done, Like I think we don't necessarily itemize our skill set in a resume type of LinkedIn way because we're just
doing it. But when you break down, even in motherhood, even stay at home moms, bitch you a cook, your organizer, your bill payer, you know, like your house manager. There are so many things that we do that we kind of like overlook, overlook and over humble because we're told to be humble and modest. Yes, come on, write me up, and I just don't feel I don't resonate with that anymore. I don't resonate with being humble, and.
I don't resonate with being humble.
I don't. I don't want to do it anymore. I want to be main character energy.
Humble is not part of my brand.
Pillars, it's not. Wait, so I note this is totally add who. I was at dinner with some of our friends and we were talking about the pillars of our friendship as a tribe, and the number one one was BBC. Well wait, our friend not a lot our friends were like, the pillars of our friendship is BBC.
I was a.
Community, motherhood, fun but the fact that BBC was number one, I was like, yep, BBC is the number one pillar of our tribe.
Makes sense? Well, cheers to the pillars of our tribe, cheers the pillars of our friendship, and cheers to.
J America to being yourself, being yourself, because being yourself wins. Look at us for winning with a peak sign and jokes that offendman and a book with our ass out in the back offend.
It makes money. This asmr m m hmmm.
I think we need to get Finally, we need to invest in a bar here, like a classy one. Okay, any bad choices of the week.
I love bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom so good.
I'm there are some bad choices this week. We have some people that wrote in some bad choices. And if you want to have your bad choices featured on our show, make sure you go to good Mom's Bad Choices dot com and click our contact and write in your bad choices of the week, write in any advice question, write in your horror stories. We want to hear from you. I actually really love hearing from you, so we want to hear from you. Actually a lot.
More in the dms and the emails and the discord sign up for Patreon. Discord is popping. I'm really like Discord is one of the best things we created because we're in there, but mostly all the other good moms are in there, and they're talking and telling their stories and they're sharing, and they're going on trips and there
it's just a place to have a safe space. And sometimes it's nice to have a safe space where you don't really know people and then you can get to know them, but you have a space to share your ideas, your projects and there's no judgment. I kind of realized I'd like sharing my shit with strangers because there's no attachment.
No, I mean tell you what I'm struggling with. I think it's the most valuable part of our community. And it's ten dollars a month and literally you can you have full access to so much our episodes, early us
talking directly to you, us complaining directly to you. You have a community of women that you can share your horror stories with, your bad choices, and we have a section discord called girl Guess What where you can like share the things your accomplishments because sometimes like your family be hating, people be hating, you need strangers to hype you up. So it's a very beautiful curated tribe.
I'm literally texting one of our past retreaties, like I'm having an impromptu party at my house tonight. I told her Landa, He's not going to be there.
Well, speaking of which, which is so crazy, I called Mela, I'm gonna get to the bad dress of the week. But today just speaking on our witchiness. Literally today, I'm at the computer and I'm thinking about the retreat. And you know, we have a retreat coming up in Costa Rica in July, and people always ask us like how do I know what the retreat is for me? Like
what age range? And so I was, I've been updating our website and I was thinking about someone specific that came to our retreat who I haven't spoke with in like two years. Shout out to Gwen. She came for her. I think it was her her sixtieth birthday. It was like, she's it was her sixtieth maybe I think so her sixtieth birthday. She came to the retreat, and I was like, I need to find a picture of Gwen and put
her on the websites. People can see like it's a range, like we have twenty three year olds to come to six year old.
I want to see her like her drop it low session.
She yeah, because she was lit. When was lit, she was showing us the toe, the tiptoe, the tipy toe stripper. Drop it low anyway, I thought of her. Literally thirty seconds later, this bitch called me. I have not spoken to her in two years, and I answered the phone. I was like, are you fucking kidding me right now? And she's like, I'm in LA And I was like.
It's like, little there's something, and there's something inside you that knows, and like the energy of people is closed, the frequency of energy is much is much more prominent than words. We're limited in language. Start using your like you're subconscious to attract what you need.
But it was like it validated my wishiness valid It made me feel so happy that she felt like she knows that she can call me Like that's the thing when you come to our retreats, like we're your friends for real. After you come and you come hang out with us, like you have our phone number, you can pull up on us, you can pull up on the track like it's real shit. This isn't for fake, This isn't like no fucking ass bullshit where pe No, we're not those type of bitches. So I just was happy
that she a called me. I mean, we already had that report anyway, but I was like, what the fuck my mind? So today I was like, ask for everything.
But I told you that happened to me. Literally last week, I was thinking about one of the girls who lives out here, and I was like, she was like, I don't have a lot of friends in Elia. I was like, girl, call me, and I'm pretty good. I'm good at reaching out to people. I probably am the glue to most of my relationships. I'm on here for somebody for six months or six years and then let me call this bitch. And I literally was like, why did that bitch call me?
And literally I was in the club and the party and the bitch walked in and I said, bitch, I was just thinking about your ass. You never called me back. She's like, I know, I'm so bad at that it was, and she was like kind of that deep voice she's talking me over tonight too. But I really do value all the girls we meet and like the friendships that we make. Also, Zoe's coming on town next week. She wants to go to the woods, but Zoey from Jamaica,
no yeah. Sorry from Joey from San Diego who was in Jamaica.
That's nice. Okay, so we had to some people. Actually these are from the Discord. Shout out to the Discord who shared to some bad choices they've made this week. I'm not sure too, because they're quick and they're bad choices. Like they're actually they're not good choices. Number one. My bad choice of the week is that I reached out to someone that rejected me before. That's the bad choice of the week.
Wait say it again. My baby guys asked, we have to get my kids what No, I'm not.
She reached out to someone who rejected her before.
I have a theory on this, but continue that's it.
That's it.
My theory on this, because I've experienced this is it's definitely because we know this person. Write this from the retreat. No oh, I thought that was the thing about reaching out to people that have been you've been rejected by or actively rejecting you. There is a wound, and this is my theory. I'm not a therapist. I am a sexologists though, so whatever, I'm an expert because I've done this. I do think there's a thread and a wound that goes back to a time where you didn't feel good enough.
Probably a parent or a guardian was not present, and you were neglected in that and you felt not important. And I think that without being conscious of that, you will go into relationships actively pleading for validation because there is something that hasn't been fulfilled. You feel like you have to prove yourself. You want to be like, I want to show you what a good person I am. I'm going to show you what a good woman I am.
I want to show you that I'm valuable. And so you'll go back to a place where you've been obviously rejected and it's like dah, fuck you, but also.
Please pick me.
So I encourage you to take a moment and go back in yourself and in your history of when there was a time in your childhood that you felt rejected and then comfort that version of you so that you can make amends. And so when someone else rejects you, you're not actively trying to fight for it, because the truth is some of rejecting you is God saying pass, like it's giving you a fast pass to the next thing. But if you like, dig your closet and try harder
and try harder. It's this whole fucking back and forth that is a waste of time and it may block you from your blessings. So I do encourage you to take a moment to sit with yourself and say, when is the last time I felt this way? Was it from a father or was it from a mom? Was it this or that? And then like find that version of you and say I'm here for you always. You don't have like whatever the words you need to hear at that time.
Okay, that's it. I agree. I agree. I'm always like trying to find the like not always, but sometimes when I hear these things, I'm trying to like understand, like, okay, well there is there is there any Is there ever a time where it can be helpful to go back to a source a place of rejection, like going back and if you need to go, investigate the why because maybe it is something that you need to work on. The person like passed you up because.
You're overbearing or you're too jealous, like don't jump to it's not you. Yeah, like I don't know, Like I don't always know if that's the case, and so like it could be and because I think that that's definitely true for sure, and like, you know, either way, you might be you know, bypassing.
Like a feeling or watering a wound. But I do think that it's sometimes sometimes it's important to ask, be like, hey, I guess so like you rejected me, what was it? I don't think it's important, but if it's, if it feels important, I'm curious to know, like why, and what was the purpose? Was it to be chosen or was it to investigate the situation? Those are two different things.
Yeah, is it like begging to be in that space again? Or is it to to inquire about self reflection and if you've maybe lacked awareness in your behavior?
Okay, I like that. And so another bad choice of the week kind of similar to this vibe, which kind of lets me know sometimes where we as women are in our needing to be chosen and understand ourselves and why validated this bad choice of the week. I reached out to an old hookup looking for validation about my desirability.
What is desirability? Like if I'm desirable, like if I'm pretty, if I'm.
Like, I mean, maybe she okay, this could be right, as like maybe she went and hooked up with an old nigga to like make sure, like to show that she got it or maybe she reached out. Yeah, it sounds like that's what it is, you know what I Sometimes sometimes you gotta do that.
You can sometimes you remember who the fuck you are, and sometimes you got to outsource. Yeah, you could do a lot of affirmations and shit, but sometimes you gotta go out, put the freaking dress on, put on the stilettos, and say, yeah, you see me, bitch, Yeah, you see me? M yeah, do it?
I agree.
Yeah. So you could do that with someone new, though you don't have to do that with old people. You could do that because you already know those niggas. You already know those niggas want you. The niggas you.
Had, they still know what it is. Go outside, I find some new niggas. I know. It does something about knowing that they're still Yeah, yeah, you know about like knowing that they.
Niggas like once a year, so you remember who the fuck I am. Like if I blocked you all, I'm block you if I remember, so I could be like you see me, you see me, nicking, I know I still look good. You lost, bitch, I.
Had X calming the other day and tell me how amazing I was. And I was like, mm hmm, I know that's great. Yeah, tell me more. M Yeah, thank you. I did feel good evening. Lie Do I want that? Nigga? Now? Do I like the validation? Yes? So I feel So. Do you have any bad choices of the week, my dear.
You know I do. It was from last year and it was like, you know, I like to tell things.
Should we take a shot for it? Sure?
Because techlony, you've only taken one because we're splitting them right.
Yeah, so this is our second and one and a half shot.
This is I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna shorten this because it's a ridiculously long and stupid story. But it's really important because I should have listen to my cut.
Break it down. Let me take the shot. Are you sure to listen to your best friend? Let's not forget about that.
Eric Erica hates me, mabe Erica kind of a little bit hates me making new friends.
No, no, no, no, once, I don't approve of this. Once that you haven't passed my scorpios bidy senses. You know, cancers, they love everybody I'd be like, now, okay, well let me tell you. And it's not even that I didn't love this bitch. I just knew where to keep her.
It's true, everybody, if you're cancer, you're crazy like me, and you bring everybody in. You're like, you're my best friend. My craziness of friendship fucking hoarning is insane. My drug dealer thinks we're best friends. Really, and he calls me all the time, okay, and he's always like last time he called me, he's like, I fell out of my car. Hell out, bitch, Sarah a black eye? Can I just come over? I'm only with this nigga. And I'm like, okay,
come over. Fucking black guy giving he's a kid. That the black woman thing you do? I was like, I don't have any black tricks. I have is the black woman thing? I don't know. He's Dominican from New York. What in the fuck is he talking about?
Whatever?
I gave his nigga some.
Ice, like some ice and some fucking the what's the article?
Anyway? He called me on Valentine Say for no reason at all. He's out of town. He's like, I'm like, why are you calling me he's the drug dealer. He's like talking to me, like, yeah, I'm just watching a movie with my girl. It's snowing out here. I'm like, okay, so we're just talking. I'm like, I'm the jacuzzie with Orlando. He's like, tell him.
I said Hi.
I was like, someone tells Hi. Here goes this bache in the background. Y'all fucking comfortable? I said, are you kidding? I said, nigga, call me back. What the fuck? Why the fuck is she nigga? I said, I'm married. He said, He's like, she's with her man. I said, my husband, her husband. I said, bye bye, don't stop calling me. Why am I arguing with you? Arguing with her? This is the part when my friendliness is just out of him. Anyway, story time, last year, we had we because Erica likes
to forget that she also has these friends. We had a friend and she was really adamant about like really making new friends and spending time with friends that she said she was going to make. So I was like, I'm all game, let's hang out. She got a man and we all started hanging out together. It was like we're doing double dates. We're barbecue and we.
Did a few holidays together.
It was a full on thing. It was fine. Our kids were hanging out. Even though our kids were like low like, it was just it was we were creating a little community. So she asked me in Orlando and Luna if we want to go on a road trip to I mean, I didn't say where, because a place, a place in the mountains, and she and I said okay, sure, I think. A couple of weeks later, we get we our offer to go to breakfast club and the week it was the weekend before we would be leaving like
that Monday or Tuesday. And I was like, damn, that's pretty close. I really need to prepare. And I was like, you know, I already agreed. Fuck it. She was like, you guys don't have to pay for anything. She tells Orlando. All you guys need, all he needs to do is like help with driving. And Orlando's like, yeah, it's only eight hours. I was there like six. I was like, babe, that's not true. It's it's a strong twelve hours. He's like, no, no, no,
she said, like seven or eight hours. I said no. Anyway, remember were supposed to leave I think Monday or Tuesday.
First, well, she telling me the story. She's like, I'm leaving Friday, I'll be back Sunday. I'm like, this sounds like a horrible plan for a twelve hour drive, and.
I was like, I know, but you know, I agreed. Okay, So we were supposed to be Friday, but her genius of a boyfriend didn't pick up the car Friday night, so we had to wait till Saturday at nine am. So me, Orlando and poor Luna is my shit. We all he comes with this van. We all get in the van. There's another there's another friend there. There's another person there, another adult, like a younger adult, a cousin,
and this couple. So we start to drive in and we get about three hours into the drive, we stop and get gas. Okay, it's already late, we're already Saturday. We're coming back Sunday.
It's pretty stupid, but fuck it.
So we get gas. Then we leave the gas station and we get back on the freeway. About one minute into the freeway, the car stops and immediately I knew something was wrong and I said, we're stopped and he's like, I don't know, no, no, keep in mind, this person's in the military, So you would think there's like a certain level of intelligence that you have to have to be in the US military, right or like whatever. So the first thing I say is what kind of guys
did you put in the car? He says Diesel? Sorry, he says Diesel. It's a twelve passenger van. Why And I just got quiet real quick. I was like, I don't know. I ain't no expert. But he's like, the calf was yellow, so I put in Diesel.
I said, I don't know about none of that.
So we're sitting on the side of the road, and we're like in the middle of California. And if you're from California, know there's not shit in the middle. Okay, there's La there's Sacramento, there's San Francisco, there's nothing in the middle of Suddenly you're in a farmland. Suddenly you're in the country with the weirdos, with the weirdos with nothing. We're on the side of the road.
I google yellow cap not correct. Why why was it yellow?
Because it's for it's for carbon, it's for something easily googleble a google abowl. Okay, anybody, First of all, I'm not a car bage, but I'm an independent bitch. I've been alone in this life as an adult for a long time. I've heard some stories. I know for a motherfucking fact, you put diesel on a car, it's fucked. You're done.
I text Orlando immediately he put diesel.
We're fucked. I text him where fucked. I start looking at Ubers rental cars.
I Uber.
There's no Uber anywhere in sight, because you're in the middle of nowhere. This nigga, Oh my god, this is where it really gets.
Clear.
They're in the front seat. He's talking to her like I am gonna. I'm calling the car people right now. We're all behind them. I can I could see him. He's like, he's like yeah. At no point does he say fuck, I don't think it's diesel. Fuck I fucked up. Hey, guys right behind me, my bat nothing. He's whispering like a little fucking mouse, acting like he's on the phone. Bitch, we are in beasts bumblefuck. These people are not coming to get us.
I mean a way.
I don't get out the car to go smoke a blunt. And I said, nigga. He said, nigga, we're in the We're like in the fields like nigga, nigga. He's like, I'm gonna go walk back. We're trying to look at ubers. Nothing is insight. He starts walking back to the exit, which is some ways the way. At this point it's like far, it's not we can't even see it.
Like one minute away in a car.
It's so as he walks away, I tell her, I said, this ain't no diesel car. She's like, I know. I told him.
And she's a pretty cut throat bitch cutthroat.
So I was like, Wow, she's being really gentle, and I figured, there's this is already. It's her child's sixteenth birthday. Her child is waiting for us in ated and like a destination, and then we have to go to the second destination. It's all bad and I'm with my fucking ten year old. Okay, So finally hours start going by,
we start realizing we're not close to shit. We end up they're like, we have to call the police, and I was like, I don't know, you guys black people calling the police in East bumblefuck, Like oh no, Like that doesn't seem like what we should do. But then like she's like, we don't have a choice, and I was like, okay, with all this shit in the car, we have our luggage. Highway patrol comes to get us. He's like, it's about to be traffic hour, bitches. I can take you in one bag. I can take two
trips each of you one back. So me, Orlando and Luna get in the back of a cop car with one bag each. First I have to put my child in a cop car. It's a black woman. This is crazy. We get in the car. We're laughing. Thank god, I mean, Orlando, are chill people because we're me. Orlando and Luda are cracking up, Like what the fuck. We get to the fucking rest stop. There's nothing there. At this point, the air is thick. No one's saying much. They go get
the second round of people. We finally get in contact with a tow truck. The tow truck, NIGGD, comes hours later. This is like, at this point, four hours, this is just we're it's the sun is going down. Somehow. We bribe the guy to to load the van on the back of the truck with us in it to take us to the nearest city, which is an hour and a half away. We like throw him some money, and he's like, listen, I'm really not supposed to do this.
You guys, stay down, don't turn your phones on. I can't have any phone reflecting, like no lights, just you gotta stay down. Like this is really I can I'm not supposed to do this. So Luna's hearing this, so she's like, we have like ice cream because we were at the ice cream set. We're all in the back of this van. We're in a twelve steter van on top of a tow truck, so we're just like we're like bent down. Like Luna's like, he's like, it's cold. It starts beginning to get cold. Go my phone, and
it was like, turn your phone off. So then I turn on some music. She's like turn it off. I'm like, Luna, they can't hear the music. She's like, turn it off. She's frightened. Me and Orlando are cracking up because at this point we're like this is I literally was like, should we call should we try.
To go back?
But there's no way to get back, there's no ubers. Two hours later, keep in mind three hours driving about three hours and this desolate parking off the Furry place. Then we get in the back of a fucking van on a fucking trailer track on the fucking tow truck. We get to the parking lot. We jump off of this machine. Immediately we're like, I gotta get food. The two smart ones who plan the trip they have to go rent another car, so two of them get in ano Uber. The rest of us go get food because
there happens to be like a food situation. And one of the girls, it was her little cousin be nineteen. We were kind of close to the to where we're going. She somehow gets a ride. She said, I'm out.
She got a rhymee, she got a ryde want her homegirls picked her up.
I was jealous as shit. I was like, you're not out.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
She was nineteen. She was like, I'm out. So we go to the thing. We were like like, the other girl is friends with her, like really friends, so I'm like trying not to talk shit me Orlando. Luna's just like we eat.
They come back with the car.
We jam into this car, repack the stuff, abandon that car, drive two more.
Hours to an airport where there's one car.
Left because we can't all fit because we still had to pick up her kid and her kid's friends car.
It is a Mustang crossover suv.
But here's the catch. It's electric.
Oh fuck.
Okay, so we slid up. They go get the kids, her kids, Meat or Land know, Luna and this woman that's her friend get in this electric car. We drive to the woman just happens to have an apartment. Okay, I'm just gonna take the places because it's stressing me out. Happens to have a place in Oakland. We're going to Lake Tahoe. She's like, I'm gonna take a shower because she had flown in from Atlanta to LA to do this road trip. So now we're in the middle of
this thing. So she's like, I haven't showered. I have an apartment in Oakland. We stop at her apartment. They keep going. Me and Orlando are like, how long we're gonna be in here? She's taking like an hour long shower, and we're like, where's the balcony? Can we smoke? Luna is like, what the fuck? It's night. It's like a it's like ten pm at this point. Finally we get back in this electric car. We start driving to Tahoe. We fall asleep. I hear her on the phone with
Alamo or whatever. The fuck is there a charger in this car? Because I don't see a converter. I was like, there's no way we left, and she'd this bitch who has an electric She's like, I have electric car for years and I don't see a converter. I was like, So we start going up the hill to Tahoe and I don't know sit about electric car, but now I do. You start going uphill, bitch, The electricity starts going down quick, so we pull. She's having this conversation on the way up.
Then I fall back asleep. Then we get to a charger. She can't find the converter, and it's cold now because we've started going into this mountain. It has to be like one in the morning at this point. Finally we find a charger that takes a universal fucking card. We have to like turn the car off four to charge's like forty five minutes. Like this shit doesn't charge fast. It's like an hour of forty five minute charge, so we had to stop again. We finally get up this
mountain to this fucking cabin. There's no jacuzzi, which everybody knows you never go on a ski trip without any jacuzzi. What the fuck? So then we get there, they're all sleep and was there?
Who is them?
Oh? Her the smart boyfriend, their kid, her the kid's friend. And now we have finally made it to the house and like, at this point, all you could really do is laugh. The point of this story is, anyway, the next day we wake up. We have one day. We have one day. We just got in eight hours ago. I mean, like, I'm really trying to ski. We make these plans to ski. Orlando and the boyfriend have to go charge the car, get groceries, so they leave. We get dressed to go to the mountain. We get to
the mountain, they meet us. They meet us there from the market because it's closer, like everything's like it's forty five minutes to an hour. Orlando is like, I'm out, I'm getting out the car. He She goes to him, where's your outfit? We had matching outphits. We search for your outfit for an hour. Alta goes, haha, I'm leaving. So I put Orlando and Luna on a ski lesson. I'm on the mountain because I'm gonna milk the fuck
out of this eight hours. Anyway, we come back to the bottom of the hill, the skiing has concluded, and Orlando with his fucking Aquarius mouth, looks at the guy after we go eat and goes, ha, she made you change, didn't she. He's wearing, he's laced down in t in pink full winter soup, full for full winter soup. Mash it with this bitch, and he goes, you went back to the house and change. The house was forty five minutes away.
He was like, I didn't. She didn't make me. I wanted to.
And then he's like and then so we're like, Orlando is so obnoxious. She made you change. If you don't know Orlando, you're gonna know he's gonna be obnoxious. If you can't handle that type of like criticism, you're not gonna like him at all. So then we're finishing our meal, we're about to go in, and I was like, let's go. I'm wet, I gotta take a shower, and this nigga
goes I didn't, Yeah, meet too. I got a shower, and Orlando goes, so you went all the way back to the house and you don't wash your ass and continues to laugh like this hysterically in this nigga's face. I thought it was funny. I thought this is your valid points and I thought we were joking around. Keep in mind this nigga took the electric car to the house and back that we just charged. Now instead somebody,
don't use this as an opportunity. We get back to the house and we say we're gonna go to the car for tomorrow's departure because we have to leave at ten am. Me goes park the car, plug it in, we go, get some drinks. We come back like we'd The part that really killed me is this nigga never apologized, He never said my bad, I fucked up.
He's just fucking creepy, crawling around the back of her at like her little fucking puppy, and this type of person Like I really love this person, and I don't think she's a bad person, but I think this is the type of relationship she's thriving. And she went someone's gonna kiss her ass. And this nigga, I don't even know if he has a personality outside of her. And so all this to say, in friendship.
Dynamics, be loving, but also have like discriminative awareness, and it's not about like she doesn't drink or any of those things, and that's not even that's not even the basis of our friendship. And that was fine, but like there was a personality thing that was like very much, I don't know, there was a dynamic that I didn't feel comfortable with.
One time I slept at her house.
And we went on we did a class together and her boyfriend had woke up at four in the morning to repaint a wall her blue and it was the wrong shade of blue. And she was like, he's gonna have to change that, and I was like, what do you mean. She's like, I was like, are you sure. It's like it's not good enough. She's like, it's not the right blue. He woke up at four in the morning to paint the wall blue and then she says, it's not the right blue. You know what he did?
He repainted the next morning a different blue. I said, oh, bitch, I'm uncomfortable. Is he your slave? Like the link twice? Are you okay?
Nigga?
He was like it was weird. So anyway, we're driving back down after all of this, and it just got weird. And I was just like I was. I was so annoyed by the dynamic. I had gotten over it, but like, the more I peeped the dynamic in a day to day basis, even if it was two to three days, I was like, this is crazy that he would disrespect us so much not to even acknowledge his wrongdoing. It
was just a weird ass dynamic. And when I did finally speak to her, she was like, the only thing she remembered is that Orlando laughed at him, laughed at him, And what she said was he said you're a little bitch. And I know he didn't say that because the kids were right there, We're at pizza. And I was like, oh, that's what you heard, and that's probably was underlying in the sentence.
I can't even imagine Orlando was saying he's a little bitch. He would have never said that, but the laughter and the like you with that probably was what you went and changed. You heard the laughter. The point is you know your man's a little bitch. Oh yeah, this is unfortunate.
Tale. This is when I was texting Erica about the day to day of this trip, she was like, you're fuck lying.
I was like, I'm not fucking lying. I'm not lying.
It's crazy, and like, towards the end of the trip, it just got increasingly weirder, Like it just got increasingly weirder. She made that segment, and I was like, so then Orlando, Orlando, she had been filming here at at our studio. Orlando had been doing some work for her, and Orlando kept telling me she's not paying my invoice. She's not paying my invoice, And I was like, are you sure? He's like, look at these text messages. The text messages were like
HR style text messages. Things were underlined, things were high. I was even who could underline? And text messages like before I, uh, fulfill the payment, you need to do X, Y and Z. And I was like, why is she talking to you like we're not friends? Keep in mind, the invoice is for five hundred dollars, not five thousand, not fifty thousand, five hundred dollars. So finally, Orlando was getting super annoyed, and finally, and I wasn't trying to
get involved. So I finally fucking say let me. She calls me, and I said, let me just fucking hear this call. I said, hey, girl, did you did Orlando fulfill all of his duties for this month of January? She's like yeah, I said, well, why haven't you fulfilled this invoice? Oh? I intend to. I just going to some changes, and yeah, I just he started the He started it, so I figured he should wrap it out the same way. I said, But that has nothing to do with this this invoice. Yeah, but I thought, and
I was like, yeah, this is weird. Even as a business woman, even if you're not my friend, even if I'm not going to continue to work with you, I will fulfill an invoice because what you're not gonna do is go around and tell people the good Moms didn't pay you, especially for five hundred fucking dollars. Baby. Till this fucking day, this bitch has not paid this invoice.
She hasn't paid, never paid. She never paid me never, are you kidding?
I ran into her at the gym, like I haven't set aside. Okay girl, Okay.
I didn't know. I thought that I thought she paid it.
This is someone who is always talking about money, always talking about her sales, always talking about her business. And that was another thing I started to realize there was a disconnect. Weird it's it's it's Saturday at nine pm. Oh, oh, why are we talking about your sales team? I don't. I started to get worried, like, let me write these notes down because I don't know how to do sales. Wait, would you say what?
Would you use what?
And then I was like, I'm tired of taking notes in our conversations. Then she'd be like, I feel like you're always asking about business advice, bitch, that's all you talk about. Anyway, I'll just talk about friendship. This was the most frustrating story I've I've never experienced anything like this.
I that was in the end of that communication, and I felt bad about it, and I and I but I had to keep going and I had to keep going around to figure out what the fuck why wouldn't this bitch pay my man?
And it was just like.
Control and like power and like weird bitch shit. And I asked her, I was like, is it because he made this comment? Is that what is like your personalness? She's like, no, that's a lie. It's a fucking lie, bitch,
because why haven't you paid it? So all that to say is maybe go on trips with new friends early, because this is a second friend in the band of like twelve months last year that I cut off after a trip, and I felt I was feeling bad because Erica and Orlando are always like, you're too friendly, like everybody, and I'm like, I do, but most people are good. These were two very bad examples, and I mean it was a good example because I needed to learn to
have more discernment. And also if the chem like whatever, it was fine. But sometimes people are not supposed to be your fucking close friends. If the nigga seems like he may be her slave, maybe it's not a comfortable situation to be in. You know. It was weird and like at the end of it, he didn't even have a balls enough to say I fucked up and put diesel on a regular twelve fucking seater van. I fucked up, sorry, guys, And she didn't even have the nerve to be like, hey, nigga,
apologize or speak up. They can hear you. And it like, also the payment thing after you've drug me on this fucking forty five hour fucking adventure for no goddamn reason. It was the oddest twelve month relationship I was in, and it's unfortunate that it ended that way because I felt like it was. It just didn't have to end over such ridiculous five hundred dollars circumstances. And I would have even been forgiving of that situation because it was
a mistake. But it was just the lack of accountability, the lack of communication and like the weird shit after and you know, it's just like friendship, I realized, and I had I had to sit with this too, is it like because I think with relationships and with friendships were sometimes easy to like say fuck it, this was not unexcusable because he involved my man involved money and like,
there's no reason for you not to pay it. But I had a strong lesson last year that Erica and Orlando have been telling me for a long time that everybody's not my friend blah blah blah, And it's true, and I'm not going to be less friendly and be less open, but I do realize that maybe take it slow, let me take it like easy, or maybe I.
Don't know, if I don't even know, if I condone would support going on trips early with friends. I just think that because no, you're not about to ruin my trips. Ever, I just feel like maybe it's I mean, I could from an outsider looking in for this particular dynamic. Her personality doesn't align with yours. It doesn't. I know that her and Orlando shared the same sign, but they don't
say there's different. There's different principles going around here. There's a lot less flexibility, there's a lot more like like yeah, hypervigilance. Like there's there's other things going on. So I I kind of knew that your flows and your like go with the flow, and like, no, wasn't going to align with her dictatorship.
It's a dictatorship over there, bitch. No, it's a fucking dictatorship.
And you know, I want to say, like I appreciate her for who she is and not me too. She's she's amazing, she's amazing. She's successful because she's good at what she does.
I just, yeah, it.
Just gotta know who you can travel with, You gotta know who you can spend. You know, you could have just maybe kept it at Thanksgiving dinners and even that had.
Its own instead of well, I'm just saying, but I guess, go with your gut, you know, go with your gut. And like I realize I'm not in deep need. I have a lot of new friends. I have a lot of really great friendships, have a lot of best friends all over the country, all over the world. Like it's not just because someone says, hey, I really want to work on friendships this year, Like.
Maybe, actually doesn't mean you have to sign be the first one on the sign.
And also because if you haven't had that many friendships, maybe there's a reason why. And I maintain friendships pretty easefully if it's right and if it's meant to be, and so I just yeah, that's so all this to say. I wanted to talk about friendship. It's our eight year anniversary. I know that it's not a monolith. I know that it's sometimes you know, I think that hypothetically we'd like to think that all friends are easeful, all friendships are easeful,
But the truth is it's still a relationship. And like even an Erica and Irish relationship, there have been ups and downs, there have been you know, ebbs and flows, and our friendship obviously has a lot more on the line because we share a bank account, we have investments together, We've invested time into our business, so there's a lot of things that are weave together, that are delicate and not to mention and not this is really gets in
the way. We didn't start as friends. We were just two bitches like okay.
And then this didn't start as a business.
It started as a hobby or something fun to do, and that we realize it as a business. So I just I want to give this moment to just like discuss adult friendships.
They're challenging.
Have you had any experience in the.
World, Well, I think yeah. I mean early on we talked about in the podcast I had I shared a friend dynamic of mine. This was an old friend that I had that I realized it was time to let this person go. And I think it was like what was no new I don't know what the episode was called that we did about my other cancer best friend that I had that I released right before I actually met you, And.
You're replacing the cancers.
And I think that like a I know, I know that making adult friends can feel challenging because of just the women that come and come to our retreats who are seeking new friends, women that we reach out to us all the time saying they can't find their tribe. Like I realized how challenging that can be. And I also realized how traumatizing it can be when you do step out and you do have you do think you met a friend and you get burned like this.
I felt like it was almost like taking my kindness for a weekend.
But thankfully you will have proof of positive female friendships. But say you didn't and that happened, like it's going to like revalidate your position about why you don't trust bitches, why you don't have friends. And this is how that
narrative starts with women. It's like they don't have good discernment, no offense, and you do have good discernment, but that in particularly, I think that you are a very loving and open person and so you're willing to overlook or accept maybe is the word people for their differences in regards to how you operate right, And because you're because you can so easily flow, because you can flow with people until you can't because you're still a cancer still.
And that's the thing. My switch off is strong, Like I can be like La and the next bitch it will be a whole different bitch and everyone's like, oh God, who are you? Oh no, I'm like no, bitch, I gave you a lot of opportunities to show the fuck out or like this is crazy.
I think in this in this part of my life and making new friends because I have, like I have acquaintances that I'm like watering right now. And I realized when I was younger, I hash myself to friendships a lot faster, whereas now it's like more of a slower burn probably because my life is moving faster, probably because I have a great group of friends already and so it's not necessarily a need, but there is like a want to like have new conversations and meet new people
and understand their perspective. And as I'm entering to a later part of my life or mid part of my life, mid part of my life where like you know, like our kids are growing up, you know, people are getting married, like wanting to have those type of people around you aside from the ones that you already have. So I get it. But I think that like I'm a slow burner right now in my friendships, and I realize other it feels like other women are too, Like at least
the women that I'm interacting with. It's not like, okay, we like when we met like we were like, and now we're together every single day. When I met Sebastian, no, no, no, it was still some slower at first. But when we decided yeah, yeah, when we decided we had something in alignment pretty quick.
Well, like we're gonna do a podcasts every week. It has to be every week, because that's what so and so said.
But I really like, I was looking at the stats around friendship and it was like forty percent of adults don't have a best friend.
Really, yeah, forty percent is pretty high. Yeah, I would have expected that, and I think best friends are necessary and they're also this is a thing with friendship, it
is a it's a mirror, just like any relationship. I think people underestimate that relationships we as a human race are in community because that is a part of our nature because that is how we evolve, that is how we grow, that is how we gain empathy and I and if you know of like Harlow's Pyramid of needs for a human, it's like community people is what like obviously there's safety, food, water, shelter, but right close by
is like people, other people and like sex. These are things that as a humans we need, like air like food, like water. We evolve in community and in tribe. And that's why there's like all this talk with social media. So many people are so deeply on their screens that there's no human touch, there's no there's no like people are touch starved, and it's it's a big deal because
we need it, you know what I mean. And like even right now, it's interesting because Luna I was telling Erica, this has a best friend at school, and it's like, oh no, no, this per her, and I'm like, yeah, it's so funny. So but I realized I remember having a little best friend, and like it made me a question have been codependent for our whole life? Because my best friend from kindergarten is still one of my best friends.
And like there was times throughout our lot our lives we were deeply codependent, like in elementary school, crying if you couldn't have four day sleepovers, you know, And like I realized now it's like a form of babysitting for the parent, Like of course it gets a bit for five days, let meet the fuck alone, but like our need to feel safe and to feel loved and like and then how you kind of stopped doing that because become a vulnerable, like a certain vulnerability at a certain age,
you know what I mean. So, like, I don't know, I think it's interesting to explore because even with us, you know, like Erican I, like she said, we dove in really quickly, really early, because we had this thing that we were doing and it was fun and it was like new, and I think we both needed a friend. We needed like someone to go do shit with, someone to go do shit with, go outside, someone who understood that we were moms, but we're still going to do
the whole shit. Like there was a lot of elements at play when we our friendship was cemented, but mostly it was good moms and it gave us like this north star to like work towards and to like do something together, and it gave it meaning, and especially when people started like writing in, it gave it more meaning because it wasn't just us, you know, it was like a whole team of people that even if we couldn't see.
And like, as we've blossomed and evolved, it's become more difficult because at first it was just like we're playing, we're talking, and it was like, oh, there's money involved.
Oh, there's business.
Oh, there's things that have like there's things on the line in order to make this thing go, and then like you know, the friendship can fall more and more on the back burner, and you know, it's been it's been challenging sometimes, and it's been I think even more challenging because we have so many things on the line. We have so many assets. We own land together.
We own land, we have bank accounts, our our children are invested in one another. Like, there's a lot there's a lot of things that are that have expanded in a way that I don't think that we realized we were even actively doing, because when we started this, we didn't realize we were like starting a business. And I think, like,
I've never had a relationship like this. I was I've never had someone that I've like I've I've never had a relationship that if it was going wrong, I couldn't just walk away from right and be like, well, we need a break. So I'm not going to talk about bitch like that's not of course, it could be an option,
but I think that like it's not. No, it could be we could be like fuck this, fuck you, that's we could we could but I think that thankfully, like there's there's this there's this tie that's bigger than us
that keeps us grounded. And early on in our relationship, even on this show, even off camera, off this show, we prayed over our relationship because I think our entity, like as we call it, knew that there would be times that weren't so easeful, that weren't we weren't going to be aligned, that there might be things that come up,
and we witnessed it another podcast, Dynamics. We witnessed it with you know, the Mandy's and the Wheezies and and the other podcasts that didn't make it, you know, and we were like, we don't want to be like those bitches, will never be like those. And I think, like what I I know for me this in this dynamic in
our relationship. I never realized how like you think about like like your relationship with men and how it's affected your mental health when it's not good, and like how it like make you crazy or make you angry or like make you show up differently. And I don't think I've ever had that experience with a woman until this relationship. Again, where like like our relationships with our lovers sometimes are intrinsically tied to like our mental health and how we
show up. And I never have had a relationship with a woman besides maybe my mother where that could be tied until this relationship and where I've like where when we're not good, I don't feel good, I'm not good. In so many I'm sad, I'm depressed. I'm like, I feel lost, Like I feel like how much how I would feel like in my lover relationship in that way, And that's not something that I've was I've been prepared for.
I was prepared for and have the tools to work through in times and even verbalize at times, because there's been times where you're like, why are you tell me why you're depressed? And I'm like, I don't know, I'm just sad, and you're like, but if you can't tell me, and I'm like, isn't the depression? Sometimes you don't know what to say, you don't have the words to say and explain to someone why, Like for someone that has
battle depression, like that is that's a thing. I realize it so much as I talk to people that have moved through it, and granted, like my mental health shifts of not all I'm not gonna like they're not all based in our relationship dynamic, but partly yes, like I have noticed how sad I've been when we're not okay. I have noticed how like lost I feel when I'm like unsure about where we stand and how we're moving
through hard times together. But I also know that there's there's never been a time where walking away was an option, you know. And I think that that's the difference between like just a regular friendship and that unconditional friend that I want more women to experience. And because it is rich and there is so much here between us, and like I've just it's just been a it's been such a But then there's also a relationship that don't deserve that,
Like your relationship that you just spoke of. Probably you're not going to invest this much time. You don't have to. But that's the thing is like a lot of women don't have to, I think because they don't have business. Yeah, so it's easier for you to say, oh fuck it, you know, and and sometimes maybe that's what it needed,
but probably not, you know, probably not. And so this I think our friendship has been a reminder or not a reminder just like a mirror and a lesson into not running because I'm a fucking runner and I'm a runner in love. I'm a runner in a lot of places in my life. And this relationship and even the when I'm in right now has like really shown me
like that I am capable of staying. I don't necessarily have all the tools when I arrive and I decided to stay here, but I don't know what to do with it, Like yeah, you know, so anyway, I agree, and I'm glad you said that because I don't know if I necessarily had words to put for that, because I guess that's true.
There's not like generally in a romantic relationship when it consumes so much of your your mental health and you're just your your mood, your your capacity, like if it just your thoughts, your if it, if it just if it overcomes. Usually in a relationship it's like, oh my god, soll I could think about this guy D he's not doing this, he's cheating on me, and then you're like obsessed. Then that's when that comes up. But I have experienced that in this relationship, and I'm like, am I nuts?
Like I am like going to sleep at night and I'm like going through all these scenarios and like, literally my eyes are closed, but I'm like and I'm like, bitch, you gotta like give let this breathe. But it's it I realize. And I realized this one time and Costa Rica.
We were just having a day I think it was our day off or maybe before retreat or after retreat, and you were like, let's not talk about let's not talk about business for the rest of the day, and like for a moment, I was like, what do you, like, what are you talking about? And like it had to sit with that and it really made me sad because I was like, I have spent like, however many years literally thinking talking about this thing, and granted I have
you you want to talk about it too. It's like when you have a baby with someone and you're like, oh my god, first walk, oh my god, they just said their first words, Oh my god, look at that thing way go, oh my god, it's doing.
Stuff and you were doing that for three years and then you're like and then you're like, we talk about who are you?
Oh you?
Oh yeah.
So when you're like, let's not talk about that, I was like, oh my god, Like, have I tended to myself the same way I've thought like the capacity, like my brain like data has been focused on this. Have I taught about Luna as much as I've thought about Good Moms? Have I thought about these other things? My family?
Like my mother really like obviously we've talked about all those things within Good Moms, But so much of my life has been dedicated whether I realized it or not, until that moment to thinking about the next steps of this thing that we built and excited about it. And it's a beautiful thing. But then it's like, oh shit, bitch, Like have you focused on the other things in your life and watered those things too? And so when our relationship isn't good, I'm.
Like, what the fuck?
And it takes up equally as much space, but not in a way that's like positive, so I can notice it more. And it's true, like if it wasn't all these things tied into it, if it wasn't our tribe, if it wasn't us knowing how much impact and how important the work that we do is and how it's changing the narrative for moms and single moms, I'd probably be like I'm just not gonna.
Call her no. And it is the tribe because there have been days where I know we did not fuck with each other at all, and then someone dms us and says, don't stop, don't stop, and I'm like, this episode has no idea how much I needed to hear that right.
Now, literally every time, And we'll send it to each.
Other, okay, basically.
Saying yeah, basically I know you're thinking about what I'm thinking about, because fuck you. But also, look, someone we don't know wrote this.
It means a lot, so like, thank you guys for affirming us too, because like you guys are such a major part of the watering of a relationship that's real, that isn't perfect all the time, that needs to be reminded and needs to be like reignited at times, and you know, like I was, as I was researching these stats of like friendships, it was like, how how much like our personal relationships are the number one influence of our health is the number one influence of our like
mental health, our even our physical health. And then how women lacking friends is as dangerous as smoking and obesity. Lacking female friends as it's dangerous as smoking and obesity, and that women with strong friendships have lower risk of heart disease, reduced stress hormones, and can live longer than
those who lack close friends. And I'm thinking about like in the moments where our friendship has not felt good, like I literally feel like I'm dying a little bit, And i was like, why do I feel this way? And I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like, because
we've literally called ourselves platonic wives for eight years. That's not like it's it's a word, but it's like it's also a commitment to one another, whether or not we those words are powerful and they they do like and that and not because because they're not just words, because that's is who I'm gonna cry, because that's is who
we've been to one another. Like we've literally been that to one another, like or like in ways that I don't even know if I've experienced with me, I haven't, you know, I've I've never shared a banking out with somebody, and I've never like shared like the deepest woes of my life with someone and like also been in pleasure and intimacy with someone and like but also like it's just like it's so expansive and like I'm like, wo,
how could this relationship impact me this much? Like like I've I've lost friends and I've had changes in relationships and it hasn't felt like this, and I had to like I've really I've really been like dissecting that so much more, especially because you know, Meila and I are in therapy together, and like that's I know, crazy friends in therapy, right, but actually not crazy, because like this relationship deserves that, this not just this partnership, this relationship
and our souls meeting one another and like seeing one another in that way to deserve to like have something someone else be like, hey, okay, this is what she means and this is what you mean. You guys are actually saying the same thing, or like can you understand
what you know? And it's like when you are so when we're obviously we're emotional water side women, we're passionate about what we do, how we show up, we are as individuals and what our needs are as individuals, and so like as much as that has watered our friendship, that can also be like we can be really stubborn in that as well, Like no, I said what I said and I fucking meant it, you know. And it's like I'm thankful that we continue to say yes to
one another even in really challenging and difficult times. And like I'm thankful for our tribe who like is constant, like just constant checking in with us and like tell and like watering us. And and I'm probably also knowing too, you know, like a lot of y'all have like you know us, like you know the shifts of our energy. You know, when creation is that it's highest, when it's like kind of dimmed right like not right now, but like just dimmed in general. And so like I've asked, I've asked.
My clothes for my friends who listen, like, do you notice like a shift?
She's like no.
And then but I've had people message me. I've had people write letters. I've had people message me and say something seems a little off. I've had people all retreats ask me, and I'm like, I can feel it. So if you're super tuned in, and you've been tuned in for a long time, I know that it's probably evident. Also, me and Eric are very good at sitting on this
couch and everything else going out the window. There are a lot of times where we were having very heated, sick energy between us that's not always love and butterflies, and we sit here and we're like, we can find the place to laugh, and then we'll close the door and be like bye bye.
And it's psycho. I mean, it's not psycho, it's it's real.
But I think, oh, it's real, it's super real, and I think it's not too real.
But the layer of someone being so deeply.
Enthralled in your life, knowing all your secrets, knowing what your triggers are, or knowing what your history is, and just knowing so much about each other and being literally are the safe place for one another. When that shifts, it can equally go on the other side, like that anger, that disappointment, that frustration, that whatever, that sadness or whatever we interpret as something not in flow or in love.
It feels super personal, especially because we're sensitive as bitches, and you know, and I've I've taken things super personally and I know that I have, you know, And.
It's just it's not easy.
But I am grateful that we have this to to push us and that we know it's important and that we do get calls and we do get you know, fucking messages and letters.
And like this is like a level of mirror work that is like I can't even explain, Like it's like you can't avoid it. We can, we can't avoid it, and I don't, and like we're not supposed to. That's not what like God Spirit, any of the shit had lined up for us. There's like, no, bitch, you're gonna have to sit on that couch and face her and talk to her. You can't.
At some point we're gonna and in fact tomorrow in therapy, the assignment is that we have to like read all of our resentments off and like we've had a relatively good week. We hung out yesterday, which we haven't really
done in a long time. And that's another thing, like so much of our hangouts are just business meetings and so like when you only water one side of it, even though the friendship is what births all this other shit, it makes it very difficult to be creative and be free flowing in the space that is the business part, because the business is the friendship. But you know it's not not you.
Feel that I don't know, I feel like I actually feel that's the one thing I'm grateful for From my side, I can't this is me speaking.
I'm just saying the brand was was birthed out of our friendship. So when there's no friendship, what the fuck is the brand?
Like that?
And then begin and I feel like there's guilt too. People are like your friendship, your friendship, you know, and they're like, fuck, the friendship's not even like join great right now, And there's I'm grateful that we got into bed in this way because we cannot hide from each other, we cannot hide from this work. And I'm grateful that the podcast has been always no matter how much funny and how much sex and how much, it's always been a commitment and a promise to evolve and to heal
and to look at ourselves. You don't have to be just like us. But this whole journey was built in the in the sense of what are we doing now? How can we be better? And it's three thirty three, it's changed. But and I look at that, even when I'm angry at you, eve, when I'm fucking pissed, even when I'm like fuck this bitch, I'm still like, ah,
I know that there's requires deeper. And the truth is we've avoided a lot of probably uncomfortable conversations because for so long we didn't have any deep issues, you know, we didn't have any deep arguments. And I think also because we started not as friends per se, we started as business partners. There's a level of delicacy.
And we didn't start as a business partners.
We start business, we just start as bid You didn't know each other.
Yeah, well, we started as it literally happened all at once. It just kept going. At one point we realized we had a business. We're like, I guess we're business partners. We had already been doing it for like at least.
A year when we realized that it's a tippy toeing around.
Well, I think, like it's just like it's I don't want to say it's normal, but it is. I think when something happens sometimes you're like, am my tripping, let me not, let me shut the fuck up. And then you do that enough and then a lot there's the little seat of resentment starts to build and you just don't share it until now it's a bigger thing. And now the person's confused because you haven't said shit or now the other side is like it's just there's just
so many things. And this is what happens in female dynamics with women specifically, because I think women we hold on, we hold more than men do. Men like they just kind of like they just be flowing. They don't even really be well. I mean, they don't really have drama.
No, men are a whole different, but I think that they're lacking friendships and try.
But I actually respect sometimes how men deal with shit. They can get They will call you out right there and say it, even if it's a joke.
At least they're saying it.
Women will just literally not say shit, you know. And in the spirit of it being International Women's Month this month and our eight year anniversary and you know, our commitment to therapy and the things that we're still we're trying to get comfortable doing, like saying things in the moment and like not taking things personally and and realizing that even if there is resentment, even if there's truth behind the things that we've said, and you agree and
I don't agree, like we know at the very core of what what is happening that we have love for one another and it's not like, oh, I love you. I have you know, like there's like a deepness in the love that we have.
We've seen each other through a lot of major life events, good, bad and different.
And that is there. There's so much more value there than there is with all the whatever else. There is like the richness and the foundation that is there, like the other things can they can be Because at the end of the day, bitch, if anything were to ever happen to you, I would fucking I would die. I'm thinking about it.
I couldn't.
I couldn't really die, Like I would be like, oh my God, Like I just there's nothing in this motherfucking world that like would be is important to me.
No, it's not. And there it's nothing. Even even with all the water under the bridge or whatever place we're in at this moment or have been in the last year two years, there's nothing that's greater than the love that I have for you. There's nothing that you've done that I can't forgive. There's nothing that there's nothing that weighs heavier than what we've created, what we've built, the
experiences we've had together. I mean, like just us in general, just the joy that we've experienced, just the adventures, just the stories we've been able to tell, the boldness that we've given each other permission to experience, like it is. I think this shit weighs so heavily on me because this is so important to me. It really has like
changed my life. You've changed my life, and this friendship has birth something like in me, Like I've shifted because of it, and my life has shifted because of it. And like how close we've been and literally a safe haven in so many and the most difficult parts of our lives, you know, like it has been something true and real that I can always go to you and say, Yo, this is happening or whatever the fuck, and there's always
a place that we can land. Is so much more valuable than any of this other shit that we're dealing with, or that we are caddy or whatever the holding resentment over I just at the end of the day, I'm like, I know we're going to come out of this, and I hope that and I know that we're working on skills that we can come out of it without it being we're writing down taking score of what's happening, you know,
and I just know that's not our story. There's so much more for us to do, and and I think every time we get to a point where we've ignored some issues, it's like the real, the real question is are you ready to really let this go? Are you gonna let this go right now? And it's always like, no, I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want this to be how it ends. That doesn't make sense to me. That is not what we foresaw. That's not why we prayed over our friendship. That's not why we did.
All this work.
And like, you know, as we go into this session tomorrow with all these things, and like I was even thinking, like this is even necessary? Are we like fucking up?
Like are we gonna like be mad again?
It's gonna recognize these things.
But then I'm always afraid, like I'm like, well, maybe we also need to let it go. So everything's like I already said that already, So there's no harbor that I don't And I realized I realized a part of it, a part of I think everyone needs to realize just because someone says something does not mean it's true. Sometimes you say things they're not true, but sometimes you just need to say the thing, you know, and like that could I don't know.
We'll report back next week, but I do want if you're listening, if you have a best friend and like, granted people grow apart, and granted people change, and granted life, and you know, Bell Hooks writes about this is like and this is we experienced this in the beginning. When you're going through the same thing as somebody, there is a level of trust and understanding. And I don't know if it's trauma bonding that happened. For sure, we trauma bonded.
We are the result. We are the beautiful result of a trauma bond life.
It can be positive codependency, codependency and trauma bonding. And that's looked great in some chapters of our life. And then sometimes this is a problem. It's not sustainable. It's not sustainable. It's not I mean, I guess I always said, like, well, what if we get married, Like what's going to happen with good moms? I choicing It's like, well, we'll tell those stories. And I was like this sounds fun.
People wrote it. We're like, you guys are getting boring. I've been going to Costa Rican bitches.
I don't know, just go back to twenty eighteen. You have a lot, you have like six years of horrishness, maybe four, But yeah, this is inevitable and any friendship dynamics are going to change. We are two individuals, although we've been one conglomerate for quite some time. When the like when we realized it was separating, there was a
lot of fear. I can say for myself, a lot of fear, a lot of fear, a lot of worry about that means for us, And like just when you've put poured so much into something, it's you know, you don't want to see it and whatever you're imagined, like however it is, you don't want to see it change or dwindle. But things change.
So that's literally why we're tormented. It's literally the source of ninety nine percent of our pain is that we can't. We have a hard time with that.
And I don't want to choose suffering. I want to choose like empathy. And I realized that, like, am I not being empathetic? Am I not being? And then I am pathetic and I don't feel like it's like recognized, and I'm like, fuck being empathetic.
Fuck that I'm a cold I'm cold fuck all that.
So, you know, and granted, thankfully we are people who look at ourselves, you know, and hopefully we can always have the ability to do that, and you know, just all the things. If you have friends and loved ones that you care about, I mean, it's always worth fighting for, it's always worth working for it, especially if you think those people are smart, emotionally intelligent and also on the
same thing as you. And that's one thing we can't ever say we're not both on the same trajectory as far as evolving, healing, being self aware and being aware in general. And I think if you have those things in common, then you'll all be willing to take accountability and also speak your mind. And also, just what I've had to tell myself a lot in this process is that telling the truth and being honest is it feels scary, but it's ultimately going to bring more love and more closeness.
So if you can get over the discomfort of saying the thing, or you can receive it without being defensive, then there's something even greater on the other side. And sometimes that's difficult. And I was thinking about that with Orlando. He was getting on my nerves last night, and I was like, oh my god, because in my mind, the first thing I say when someone's getting on my nerve is I'm over this. Those are the exact words I say in my mind.
I'm over this.
I'm over that person. I'm over this. And then I was like, you're not over it, You're in it.
Actually, which actually I was like the very bottom.
I was like, you're actually up over it. I was like a campy over it because I'm in it. And I signed a certificate or whatever the fuck this means, and now I'm in it. And I was like thinking about you, and I'm like, fuck, it's the same thing. I'm in it. Like there's no getting over it. It's always going to exist, even if we said fuck all this year. Right now, good Moms is an entity. She exists. She's going to come up. So it's just like we have a baby together, so you know, and she's eight.
It's a big ass kid. That's not a baby, that's not even a toddler. That's a kid.
She's heading into preteen. Maybe that's why she's such a bitch.
It's hormonales, I think fits. She doesn't like those clothes. You're too fast. Oh my goodness, O god.
Well, cheers to our friendship and cheers to growth, and cheers to acknowledging the hard things and being in it for the long run, and also honoring you know that things do change, and things people change, and we have to learn how to love people differently at times, like sometimes the love that you're giving or the love that
I'm giving you a love that you're giving me. For the last however, many has to shift, just like you will shift with your child and adjust to where they're at in their growth journey and in their development and in their story. So I hope that if you're listening to this, and if you have a friendship that might be a little bit rocky right now, you can just take a step back and just give it a breather. But also just fu what is the root and think about that, like, what is the root of the friendship?
Is that sustainable enough for you to say, Okay, well, maybe I can thug this out a little bit longer. Maybe we deserve another conversation. Maybe we need to write some things down and then have a conversation, like not just wing it. You know, where bitches are just like, well, I feel like this what I feel like, because we can feel all motherfucking day, you know, and it's just like having an organized conversation with the person that you care for and that you love for and maybe even
having a mediator. I think that normalizing support in the communication with not just your love space, but like your friendship space is important because sometimes it's like it does take a friend, like maybe maybe a friend to be like, hey, guys, like what's going on, Let's figure this out.
That's good through this, you know, because I'm pretty sure all of our friends are tired of us.
Probably, and having a mediator is like sometimes what has to happen. So that's my spiel on friendship and healing.
And also we're not giving a rule book in relationships communication, Like we have language, but we don't know how to use it. And I think I do think it's important to like find creed and like communication and ways in which communication is makes sense because we could be talking Chinese and fucking Spanish to each other all day, and if we're not speaking the same language and we're not here to understand, it doesn't fucking matter what we're saying.
And especially if you're going into it too, because I was happy to think. Like before when we went to therapy last time, I was like I was feeling like defensive and or like, and I was like, what is my what do I want to come out of this? Do I want to be right? Do I want to be a when? Do I want my point to be across and try to finally say yeah, you're right Erica yeah? Or like? And if I don't get that, is it over?
Like?
You know, like what is it that I fucking want from this? And it's like I want resolve, I want peace, I want flow, I want I want a friendship to persevere. I don't like, can it go back to exactly how it was? No, because we've evolved. It's like it's it's going to continue, whether we're in a good place all the time or whether we're struggling. No matter what.
Things evolved, time is timing.
Yeah, And so I just had to like think about that. And I don't know if I I mean, I think like I don't know if I was successful the whole thing. I wasn't. But I feel like hopefully maybe tomorrow we both can agree to go into therapy with that mindset because we are going to be sharing things that might are going to probably trigger one another, and it's like, what do we ultimately want? Why are we here? Yeah, to sort this out?
Yeah, I mean yeah, absolutely A lot of times someone's not going to be like I agree with you one hundred percent. Yeah, you know, and I was gonna tell you this too, Like there's I always say this Kenya, her fucking communication, her up level communication.
And saying everything you need to say and getting the animal.
Out, getting the animal out, but also recognizing, like the soothing, the soothing is that you may not even mean the shit that I what I need to hear. You may I need to you may not mean, but who cares? Just say it and same I'm sorry for What do you need from me? What is going to make you feel better? I think people don't go to the end and come back. Sometimes I need to say this. And maybe it's not you that committed this first thing against me,
that didn't accept me or didn't or rejected me. Maybe this is for my mom or because of my dad. But I need you because we are under in understanding, and we are in relationship in a way that we are evolving, and we know that maybe there's things that need to be healed, and I if I can do that for you, I'll do that for you, and then you'll be Then you'll be shocked to be like, Oh, I don't care if she meant it or not. I like it, you know what I mean. Like you sometimes
need to have the animal be released. You need to say, this is what I need to be soothed. You need to ask for exactly what you want, what is your request? Because I think sometimes we're just angry and we're just
battling feelings and feelings are all over the place. But if you can say what is it that I need in this moment, and that that person loves you enough to give it to you, and it's not on some ego or some stubborn shit, it's just like maybe I'm not right, I don't know, but this is what I need, and just you know, And sometimes when you find out what you need, you find out maybe this is not even her, Maybe this is the projection of something else.
Maybe I'm mad at her because she's doing something that I haven't been able to do, or that I haven't done, whatever the fuck it is. There is a process in the communication and it relieves something in you and I think that that is something that I was intending on like sharing with you tomorrow, and like, I want you to know that tomorrow I am going in it. I tell myself every time you go to therapy, even though it hasn't been a million times, been like five times,
I'm not going in defensive. I'm gonna be as empathetic I want to. I'm here to understand. I want this to be better. I want resolve like I because I don't want to argue with you. I don't want this to be this weird energy between us. I don't think that's I don't like it. I don't like not getting along with you. I don't I don't like feeling this way. I don't like fucking thinking about you four hundred times a day because I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
I feel nuts, I feel obsessed, and I feel like I want to find and.
I know when we do it's easy.
We've been in fights before. I'm gonna be like, oh okay, fine, but it just requires that we do that thing. So I want you to know as we go into tomorrow, resent speech whatever, it's always love, It's always I'm not saying everything I'm saying is right. I'm not saying everything I'm saying is you know correct, It's just how I've been feeling and like, at the end of the day, in all of it, there's love, and of all of it, I want understanding. That's it.
Same love. You happy at your anniversary? Your universary? Mm. Life is challenging, okay, nothing like a little tequila. This is our fucking good mom's Confessions of a good Mom. This is our reality show.
And then that bitch said.
So we got drunk and we told her everything.
Eleven am even this is our way. Okay, this is what we came up with yesterday. Do you have affirmation?
Go to therapy with your friends.
Okay, go to therapy with your friends, or get the most the friend who's the most likely.
To your friendship. If your friendship requires therapy, go.
If your friendship is important enough to go, go to therapy. And remember, if you don't have any friends, you might have its equivalent to smoking or having heart failure.
Yeah, so you gotter hurry up because you're dying. Basically you're dying. Or come to the good vibratree and make some new friends. If you need a new tribe, make sure you come to the good vibratry. We are going to Costa Rica and you'll get all this.
Do you want to.
Cry in our arms? Do you want to see us crying each other's arms?
That's happened. Okay, I pulled it upside down, which seems more record. Okay, we got the three swords. It's a fucking three swords going through a heart. It's really looks I don't know a bit intense. The so your swords reverse encourages you to pay attention to your inner thoughts and self talk. Your words are powerful, especially those you repeat to yourself day after day. You may be prone
to self criticism, limiting beliefs, and negative self talk. You may identify with an inner mean girl or boy who is constantly telling you why you're not good enough. When you hear these negative thoughts come up, ask yourself whether you would utter those words to a friend or a loved one. And if the answer is hell no, then why are you speaking to those words to yourself? Look how you can shift your thoughts towards the positive to reinforce your confidence. You have what it takes to be
the person you deserve to be. You may also be hypercented, sensitive to others words and need to develop a thick skin. Let go of the hurt and these words are caused that these words are causing you, It will only hold wait TOLEMI let go of the hurt that these words are causing you. It would only hold you back and do some self reflection. What has triggered your feelings and
why and how might you address the underlying issue. For example, if you're upset by a friend's accusation that you are selfish, look within yourself to see where you may be acting selfishly. If this behavior is no longer serving you, then let it go. The through your Swords reverse can indicate that you have recently gone through a difficult patch in which a relationship has ended or been challenged, a loved one has passed, or you were hurt by a situation that
affected you deeply. Thankfully the reverse the reversal of this card suggests that this time has passed and you're on the path to recovery. Realizing that with every cloud comes with silver lining, and you have other things in your life which bring you joy, you have reached a point where you can accept the pain and are ready to move forward.
Wow. The cards.
Don't lie, bitch, the cards never fucking never lie fucking lie.
Okay, well, thank you, thank you cards.
Thank you Spirit for always speaking in all of the ways, numbers, dates, songs, phone calls, tarot cards. When you are the witch, you give everything the power to give the message and you are open to receiving it. So remember that whatever you use as your conduit is valid.
Amen. And speaking of speaking of that and speaking of our community and our tribe, I have a horror story from the tribe.
Let's lighten it up.
Let's go straight from one of our former Good Vibe treaties, Costa Rica retreaties. She's a mama, And actually she switched up her whole shit after she left the retreat, and I was actually saying, you, guys, we have a retreat July twenty fourth through the twenty wait it twenty fourth, the twenty ninth. Come join us in Costa Rica for the good I'm kind of drunk.
I'm good, bitch. We haven't eaten. I'm drunk.
You eat today because I feel like I'm so slurring my words at Come to Costa Rica, bitch. Just look in the caption of the episode. We got a Mommy and Me retreat. You can bring your baby, you can come if you can't get a nanny, and if you don't want to leave those motherfuckers at home, come the next week and join us in Costa Rica for the women's retreat. Anyway, this hory is from a former retreating. Okay,
so the stories from a long time ago. When I was studying abroad, I was shopping at the Unique Low by the Opera House in Paris when this cute, tiny dog wearing an Adidas track suit ran up on me. I crouched down and started petting him. I love dogs. Then his owner walked over and apologized. I looked up and there was an extremely handsome forty year old forty something year old man who was dressed extremely fashionably, yet so casual and effortless. Oh we love a European casual effort lis.
I love a stylish older distinguished, not trying so hard, but he looks so.
Good with an accent. He was racially ambiguous, but oh so sun kissed, with a muscular physique and salt pepper hair and a foreign accent. He put out his hand and helped me stand up. We chatted it up for a little bit before we exchanged numbers. I told him I was going back to the city I was studying in and it was my last day in the city. He told me if I was ever in Paris again, he wanted to take me out. That evening. We began texting and he was asking me about school and helping
me refine my French. He told me that he spent a lot of time in Porto, Portugal, but was going back to Paris in two weeks for work if I was available, and if I was available to see him. After I decided to go, he immediately sent me a train ticket and some money for my travel. Yeah. I love a ticket and some money. I was impressed. So when it was time, I packed up the cutest yet mature clothes my young ass could find and went to that motherfucking train station. I would have loved. What is mature?
I love mature offits you'd be putting on for older guys.
I know, I know, book.
I had friends in Paris, so things didn't go well, I would just go visit them instead. When I arrived, there was a driver waiting for me with my name on a paper, and I started to wonder what exactly had I gotten myself into. But hey, I was in Paris, so it was hard to complain. We pulled up at the classic at this classic Parisian apartment building right around the corner from the Opera House and the store where
I met him. He greeted me with a firm and sensual hug and some cheek kisses that escorted me up stock to his apartment. Y'all, he had the most picturesque Parisian apartment ever when it was tastefully updated. I knew then I had caught a big fish. He told me there was a work party he had to go to that night. It was last minute, he said, and asked
if I wanted to go with him. When I tried to say I didn't have anything to wear, so I'd rather just stay back, he casually told me he was a fashion designer what and could put together something nice for me. It was just a club party, he said. Again. I probably should have been asking more questions, and I probably should have been like, wait a second, this is weird. This felt like a fairy tale, and even now I can't believe this happened. This is the problem with Cinderella.
Bitches are like, well, you have outfits. But wait, it gets crazier.
Oh my god, I'm so waiting. I got hair on.
My hairs went up. So we get ready and head to the club. Go straight to the table VIP shit only bitch my house off. We are partying, smoking, having a great time. I'm getting along with everyone there, and my French is flowing. Honey. I noticed one of the girls in the group was kind of flirting with me, and I was reciprocating, but hesitantly. Because I came with buddy. He must have peeped, because he leans into my ear
and says, does she please you? We we English translation, I don't know how to say.
Let me see, I'm gonna try to read in French.
She didn't say. I was gonna say. I was gonna try to make some shit up in front. We we we we baby, put on my pp I don't know, beating the beast. I was shocked, man, I was shocked, but I was drunk, so I decided to be honest and say, we like this.
Oh I didn't see that.
He gave me a devious smile and told me it was okay. If I wanted to be on her and go home with him. I like this man.
I like him a lot, older man.
And the girls. That's just what I did. We got back from our night out, he ran me a bath and proceeded to give me a real massage before absolutely dicking me down. Maybe and older, but that dick was definitely twenty something. The rest of the weekend was amazing. We got super high and danced to weird tribal music as he told me about Bernie Man experiences. He would dress me up in some of his fashions before we'd go out and take his dog for walk or grab some dinners.
This is like a story that I was, Oh, I love.
He bragged about his accomplishments and showed me all all these pics of him with celebrities.
I'd be like, yeah, baby, I love DNAs honest Ooh you know her.
It was honestly one of the best weekends of my life. So when the car came to take me to the train station and he gave me more travel money in addition to the clothes I wore to the club and a few other souvenirs from that weekend, I knew I definitely wanted to see it. I wanted to see him again. It felt too good to be true, And dear readers, it was.
Oh no, oh no, I want to hit that.
I hit that.
It's strong. You know the backwood the day after its intense.
I told you it's like the corner of my throat.
Backwards are not for leftovers. You gotta eat the whole thing at first time.
This is like McDonald's french fry. Like ten minutes later.
It's not good the next day. If nless you're a rapper. If you're a rapper, you can probably look it. I don't think of tequila on it. Dip it in tequila. See what happens.
Bitch, this needs more than that. When I tell you when I had to revive it back would you did you see that thing? To raady sentence? How to revive the person? We're putting the backwood under a hose and running it for like ten minutes.
No, but we didn't do it. And I wouln't even know where it goes wrong because I'm invested and I'm piss.
I'm sorry, sorry, but I have like this.
I have just like visual of him. Okay, whatever, keep going, okay.
A few weeks after Paris, he asked me to fly to the south of France to see him. So I went to his Instagram to see his sexy face, and as I was meandering through his page, I touched his tag photos and saw a picture posted a few days prior. He was sitting at a Daanner table in Porto with his wife.
Yeah, for sure.
I felt so sick and stupid and felt like I had received all that I could from that situation, so I didn't even bother confronting him. I liked the picture and never responded back to his message asking me to go to Nice.
I would have been to Nise. I'm not gonna front what the fuck I would have went. I would have I you know, you don't know.
Their arrangement said sorry it was so long, but this felt like a safe place to share the deal.
Oh baby. First of all, well who was that? Because I I know her, I feel like that's my friend judahodas terc. She does live a rich lifestyle. I can see that happening for her. She gets all the rich niggas.
She's casually living her best life because she's.
A bad bitch she is, and she's she's young. God, you know, please, if you're young and you're just discovering the show.
Do your fucking things, Say yes, bitch, and also send in the stories because we're just not so young anymore and we don't have as much opportunity. That's not true.
I mean we do if Okay, I'm married, it's me. I'm married, so I don't have such opportunity. But we still have a fun husband. I do have a fun husband, and maybe and we like to role play, babe, can you be Parisian stylists? Give me the part, go.
Go, get the twisty sash, get the nigga with the sign.
I not that I feel like you should fuck up people's marriages, but I feel like at a certain age usually don't listen to me. But also I feel like they have a lot of times they have arrangements, like when me and or Lando are sixty, I might be like, yeah, nigga, go to Paris and find a young bitch. I'm doing stuff. I'm decorating our fucking niece home. Get the fuck out of my face. I used to have an old nigga shout out to Uncle Jim and his wife would call me.
I just text another day, and he's forty years older than me. He's he's seventy eight right now.
I can't believe it's seventy eight, bitch.
We're still great friends, him and his wife. And it wasn't physical because it was certain. I mean, seventy eight is much older than forty something, so I don't know what they're I mean, you had sex with him, so I didn't have sex.
She needs you to go party with him and go have fun.
Yeah, I guess.
I guess when your wife, when the wife knows it.
Yeah, she's tired. And that was how his wife was. We would just do fun things and drugs. I don't know why we're doing drugs. He's very old, but.
That's how he's alive.
That's how he self preserving. And he always tell me, baby, when you get married, just make sure you roll you roll me on the boat, which y'all, I just want to come hang out with y'all. Just come roll me on the yacht. And I said, you know what. And the fact that he knew that I was gonna have a yacht when I was in my twenties, let me
know that he's my fairy sugar daddy. But a story short, say yes, yeh, say yes, and do the things and have the experiences because you might just get a new wardrobe and be at the club with you know, the famous Parisian Amen. Yeah, live your fucking life.
Travel is the place to be a top notcho. I had many travel you can hear a lot of my travel tender stories. But just there's like so much. There's just like a magicalness that happens when you're open, especially when you're in new foreign places.
When you say yes to new places, then I feel like there's a.
And then you're single also that helps, That really helps.
Or you have a fun partner, friend, husband, or you like some of our friends who have who have a marriage, but there they get a hall pass in other countries. You know, there's all different dynamics that can work out. But whatever it is, make sure that you always include the fun and the possibility in your life.
M hm.
So we've talked a lot today and now we gotta get out of here. Don't forget to check out the good vibrantry. Please like subscribe. It's our eight year anniversary, goddamn it.
So if you give us a gift, you give us a gift of a DM mostly as a subscribe. How do you say subscribe? To YouTube no joint Patreon for eight anniversary, Like, come join and you've heard it. It's ten dollars. You can give you ten dollars this month. That's how much your coffee costs. Bitch, okay, and you're getting so much more than your coffee when you come over to our Patreon and our discord community. You're gonna hang out with us. You're gonna get more of this.
You can keep up with me and Mila and what we're up to. You can keep up with other women, and you can get these horror stories in real time because this was in the discord.
Yeah, you can, and there's a lot of them, and even Erica and I drop bars in there too, so and titties.
I almost we have Tody Tuesdays.
Yeah.
So anyway, make sure you go to patreon dot com slash Good Moms, Bad Choices, like and subscribe this episode. If you're watching on YouTube, leave us a review, follow me at watch Erica, and follow Mela at.
You can follow me at Mila Underscore map at Instagram at Instagram.
And we love you, thank you for rocking with us. We love you, love you, love you.
This is fine.
Yeah, I'm living so good can't you tell? I went through a drought. That's until I found out, Well maym have been known Earth? I used to be broken Hell now got the blues in to like Beyonce, Jazam throat shot or Pop in his car wearing her voices. Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploit its women put the pie and powers, so it's pointingless. They want me to be good, so I make bad choices.
Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Fitter's in on put cannabis in their bathbone walked in bossles cap and I blew his cat ball hot dog.
Now I'm immune to.
The cat called Herbie and no waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent the number when too, It's like a water someone where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime. I do what doll ain't know when that needs to run it by