Friendship Separation Anxiety

Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mela, and it's Wednesday. Happy hump Day, ladies and gentlemen. Happy hump Day. H u mp baby humping up and hempy hepping.

Read a shirt that says hump or just happy hump day happy.

I'd be weird on Wednesday, specifically, Yeah, your Wednesday shirts, your Wednesday shirt, yeah, because we drop on Wednesdays, having like your Friday shirt is like drop the goddamn kids off shirt, Like.

Oh what if we oh yeah, like we did the days of the week shirts.

Yeah, you're doing a good job Monday, Monday, oh yeah, or like, fine mom, you're doing a good job Monday.

We already have fine Mom. Okay, fine mama. Monday. Tuesday is tip me Tuesday, Tuesday. Put your cash up on the back. Hompday. Wednesday, Thursday, remember Thursday. Thursdays be Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, or this week is almost over, bitch, thank god Thursday. That's too long, right, there's a lot of shirts. Okay, we can we can barely keep up with the monthly drops. Speaking of which, keep an eye on our our shop. We're having some really cool four to twenty drops this month,

A lot of cute stuff on our on our merch store. Guys, it's not your typical merch store where like people just put their face on a shirt that you don't want to wear.

No, no, we're not going to do that to you. We'd realize no one wants to wear pictures of our face on like any of the other podcasts, no shade, but nobody wants to wear a picture of your fucking face, even if you're selling thousands of them. Just let me tell you first, you'd be selling more of everyone then put your face on merchandise. Yeah, some of them are cute, though there's some are cute, but ours.

I think our shop is really unique and it's curated and it's really high quality, and we'd be really taking our time over there.

So make sure you check out Good Mom's Bad Choices. I mean, look at us. We're fashion so if you're watching this episode, you'll see we are very fashionable.

Right now, I have a blonde pony on yep, my hair is blonde, so the pony has to be blonde, even though my hair is pulled back, it doesn't really look blonde. So then this pony just looks kind of absurd.

It's ombre. But I have a hat on, so you can't really see what happens. You were attaching your ponytail underneath his hat this morning.

And I'm really I feel like this is my new look. I'm gonna get really into my pony bag. Well, I tell you, when you get in your pony bag, it's something. It just gives you bad bitch energy because I remember that full like two months I was wearing ponytails, so I feel you it gives you like a dominatrix.

I'm a boss bitch. I want it even longer.

I feel like I need to find to like figure out how to like extend the braid to like my knees at least.

No. I support that. I really I might. You know, we might have to do like a ponytail Day is another shirt doesn't ponytail Saturday. Yeah, I'm wearing thigh hi it's raining, so this is my brainy look. I'm wearing thigh high leather boots. Pleather boots because I support animals and are good. Mom's love flower embroidered sweatshirts, very classy, and it has a sativa hybrid indica on the sleeve because it's really important, very very What are we smoking

Our girl kay Kola has a lot of amazing stuff on her shop. But she also has these pills that you can take for anxiety. And you said they were working right.

They came up right on time. I was really in like deep thoughts. I was somewhere on Google like adults and like no anxiety, and then then those came in the mail and I was like, oh, bitch, just take these. These are natural. This is more on brand for you. Her shit is her All of her stuff is really good. I've been using her. It's like a whole system, the no filter filter system. Yeah, I got the no filter wash face wash wash in the night morning. They have the night cream and the day cream. Oh did I

Wait before we say that, I just want to if you guys are interested in trying her brand, make sure you use our promo code g NBC twenty for twenty percent off. We'll leave the link in this episode description. Support black women, support mothers, support former guests, support brands that actually fucking work because there's a lot of trash ass brands.

Out here, and or Katie Brands is the bomb. Yeah, I agree, And this month is all about wellness. But like I was going to say, let's do a challenge, but we're not going to do a challenge with whether it doesn't require drinking, because we're definitely drinking this month. I'm strongly committed to drinking this month and fucking. So that's strongly committed, strongly committed to drinking and fucking this month. That's not off the table, but we are still going to.

Wait, it does have directions here says take two caps full to a glass of water twice daily.

I just just to put it in the water, just to drink it with water. I don't know, but we don't have any water, so let's just do. It's gonna go straight to the head, Okay. It's an herbal rum tonic infused with hondorn and bush herbs to reap health benefits of blood purification, removal of intestinal parasites, detoxing the prostate, improving hormonal balance, and hangovers. Bitches need to be balanced, so pour it up.

Thank you, wife, you welcome. I just want to say, also, I hope this isn't poisonous. If it does and we're dead by the end of this episode, it's because we because we trust people from the internet and beverages.

Well, honestly, I just feel like our tribe is protected and no one's going to try and kill us. But if you do, now everybody knows. Cheers to more health April Wellness, Wednesday, wellness April. Oh shit, that's okod that's good. I can tell it's gonna work.

That is cleaning my blood bitch for sure. Whoa m okay, well, that's good though. I have to like that's like a cinnamon e some cinnamum taste or something. Okay, I w I need to they'll wake you up in the morning. If you guys are interested in ever advertising your small businesses on the podcast, makes sure you email production at

That's kind of how we've grown just having our friends help us.

Yeah, you know what, closed mouth, don't get fed, don't be nervous, because that's the only reason this podcast is last for four years, because me and Mila just keep asking people for shit.

Don't ask us for too much shit, not too much. Don't ask us for dumb shit. If you have, like if you have a real business and you're really trying, please but don't be like just on some bullshit. And here's a tip to keep the email short, very short. We have very I mean, I just told you I learned. I think in the beginning of our business, we were fucking sending epic long emails. Bitch, nobody was writing those emails. No one wrote us back. Yeah, good, Like, let's you

You swear that you're the size of your hair growing out gives you versatility, It does, Bitch, You better just shave those things because you're you're gonna get a faux hawk in like four I mean a faux dreads in like two weeks.

I'm probably I know, I'm gonna give it in like two months when it's the summertime, when I go to the tropics. God or Coachella. Uh, you're right, you guys, Coachella's coming up.

It's April. Coachella's coming up. You know, we fucking thrive in two places, New York and Coachella. Okay, New York, Coachella, Coachella, Momchella.

This is our ship.

You haven't listened to our former Momchella episodes. What the fuck are you doing? They're epic every single time we go.

And this is our first time going since the pandemic. So we're like really going to be really excited to get out the house. And I have a lot of mushroom powder from Costa Rica, so we're about to go crazy.

Yeah, and we have our some of our mom friends that haven't been out the house. They like have babies, they've been waiting to just get out, and we're all going.

It's a crew. We're going.

If you see us, say hi, advite us to the parties. If you're listening, you've got some VIP passes. Send the bitch, send me a VIP.

Passia, send Eric, can you play you top dollar for your VIP pass? I can't. I need it.

It's very crucial for it's very crucial for my ego. It's very crucial in general. And these bitches do you bills making fun of me now, But this bitch will be the first one slipping off the wristband and putting it on herself to get into the VIP. Absolutely, it's gonna be. It's gonna be best. I want to be on the golf cart in the backstage. Okay, me too, me too. I'm too old. We're too old to be general.

Last time I was general, I almost fucking died. Was that when we went together? It was when I we went Actually was twice I went with you, and then one time I went just with Wait, was that with my brother? I was with you?

Well, I've been twice with him. Okay, so one time was my brother and I lost him in a sea of people and my shoes.

It was just terrible. It was just I'm not cut up for that anymore. In my mid thirties. I can't. I can't do it. Here's the key, Like here's this is what happens. You can still party as you get older. You just got to party.

Rite you got a party at a higher level. Like some people like you still got to Coachella. Yeah, bitch, I go to Coachella. I fucking love music festivals. I love going to see artists. I love just said you still go to Coachella. Someone said that to me, like you got you like to go to music festivals. I'm like, do you have you don't like music? I'm confused, you'd rather just listen on Spotify?

I got it. I feel like music festivals are like the hippie person's church. It's like the largest, like biggest, like church convention, but in spiritual music, like free spirited realm.

It's that it's like you get to see twenty concerts in this very short amount of time.

The vibes are amazing because everyone's there for the The fashions are amazing. I like to go for the fashion, meet freddy people, you dim into people you haven't seen in years. Everybody is very It's kind of like a sex party. Everybody's so open and kind and friendly because they're all here, like we all know we're here to like vibe and so the vibes are open, and I feel like the heart chakra is very like present and

I know. I went to a festival a few weeks ago, smoking grooves out here, and I almost didn't go because I put it in the group chat and no one said shit, and I was like, are you guys? My friends are not like what the fuck is happening? And so I said, fuck this, I'm going to go without y'all. So me and Ashley went and it was amazing, and I was like, that was like a baby that's like a baby festival.

I wanted. I wanted wanted to go, but I was having mom gil and you know what, I rarely honor my mom gil because my FOMO was high and I was just like, so tied. We've done so much in the last month. I was like, bitch, sit the fuck down, and my spirit was like, you know when your spirit tells you bitch, sit the fuck down. I was like, I can't even fight with this urge to not go. And I wanted to go. Though. Cool, it's cool. We can't hang out every day. We already do enough together,

This is?

What if you guys are just joining us? This is these are real? Are you gonna leave? I'm gonna have a sip of it? Is she going back? I don't know.

You know, I'm a coffee addict. If anyone needs coffee in this room's fucking me. You just had a alixir? You're right, Okay, I'm fine.

She just wants to go to the back of the coffee shop. She can go. I'm not gonna fight her for that. She can go.

When you told me you're going to New Orleans, I like, I got a little bit jealous, just because I'm like, so used to like doing everything with you, And I was like, bitch, relax because we see her for every five seconds.

You don't want to go to knowing I feel that way with you, I'm like, even with the first of all, I'm like I want to go. I'm like, do you think she needs a break for you? I'm like probably, But I was like, I want to go. I'm like, bitch, it's fine if we it's a separation anxiety. I was thinking that. I'm like, is something wrong with me? Do I have? Am my codependent in every aspect of my fucking life. I was like, bitch, if you don't sit down and not go with her, I had to really

I know we're the best us in her head, but like, honestly, take a break for your fucking friend, you know.

For promote that enough. I'm like, if we don't take breaks, we're gonna hate each other. I'm like, no way, there's not There's no way. God, the amount of time that we enjoy spending together is so insane. This week Okay, let me just give you, like, let me give you a brief between like Wednesday to Saturday, and let me tell you what we got done, because it's fucking insane. Okay, So just imagine it's just a five day period and you have to do the following things. We hosted a mixer,

We went to Yeah, then she was kersteneck out, then he left, then we left, then we ate, we ate, We went back to the hotel room. We wrote for hours, like we were high school.

Students that needed to make a deadline, like twelfth grade passing grade depended on this night, I was up, like literally, I was like I'm out, and she be like I'm not. She like left the light on. All of her was.

I was like punched over and punch over in the corner, typing naked. I was like, wow, she's she.

Was ahead of me because in the process of writing this book, we haven't really talked a lot about writing this book because we've been avoiding it. You know, one of my childhood dreams is writing a book, like it really is. I was getting my lashes done. I'm at licensed as a titian. I do lashes, and so I was getting my lashes done this week by the person

Well because you were in your privacy was invaded a lot as a child, and your diaries and people.

Reading your shit.

But now this is like you get to tell your story and the way that you wanted to be read and the way you want it to be received.

You know, it's crazy, but I feel so much anxiety about it. I'm like super excited and I feel super activated, but then I'm getting these periods so I'm like, oh my god, what if it's not good enough? Or like am I an author? Like I've never written a book. I've never written a book. And then these chapters that we were writing have been super and super intense. It's

Well, yeah, it's the journey of figuring out how we author. But I know for me, you know what, in my reaction to writing, it wasn't like it was TENSI ish.

I just would get.

Really exhausted immediately. And I realized it's because I felt very exhausted in that time in my life too.

And I remember sleeping.

Actually, I remember like there were times where I would sleep for like long periods of the day, and that was depression.

I didn't even realize that I was in that space.

And I noticed when I was writing about certain things and not just like you know, my my experience. But even the joy, even talking about the joy was exhausting to me in ways because I was like just revisiting the whole overall experience and like.

Yeah, it was. I'm glad that those chapters are done.

Congratulations, my love, Oh my god, congratulations, so fucking happy. I know that we have to do some more edits, but that part, yeah, I feel like I like I threw up, I purged, I did purge onto the paper and.

Now you guys get to read my purge at some point in twenty twenty three, which I even I dealt with that too, Like am I saying too much? Is this too much? Is just too honest? Right? Me too? Who's how is this going to be received? Too? And then you know what my hater like, do I am I look like a bitch? Do I?

Like I kept I've started to doubt myself, Like am I a bitch for sharing?

This? Is it my fault?

Like?

Did I? I obviously have?

I know I play a part in whatever has happened in my life in general, and just the choices that I've made and like the growth that I was at at that point in my life, but.

Like, oh no, now I'm wondering. I'm like, damn, did I put enough about like where I was at? Like am I just like this was stupid? Let me tell you why. I mean, yeah, reflect on that too, you know.

But because I did, it actually made me really have to be more accountable too, Like how did I play a part in any of the things that have happened in my life, whether it's the daddy issues, whether it's the relationship with my family, whether it's a relationship with my child's father, whether.

All of it, Like what is my part in all of it?

As like an outsider looking in before I just put it all on the internet, put it on the internet, put it in print.

We've already put it on the internet.

We got to put it in every print forever for someone to read. And I guess, I don't know digest whatever interpretation they get from that.

But that's the beautiful thing about this process is that, and I'm doing it with you, you know, is that we can put it on paper and then we can have conversations like maybe because I need to like revisit that in a different perspective, and like also I think it's kind of dope, not dope, but it is different that. The truth is, me and Erica knew each other during that period, but we weren't near each other.

Well, the thing is like the first six chapters of the book is not even like we hadn't even met yet. Yeah, everything before that that, Like, I think we usually talk about a lot about our inception and like from that period on. And that's why I feel like this is definitely a different for me too, Like I feel extremely exposed and vulnerable and like I don't always feel comfortable

It was so fucking stressed, and then we had like we also spoke at podcast Movement. Shout out to podcast movement, evolution, evolutions.

So I was twenty two downtown, the biggest podcast convention in the whole motherfucking world, which is it's amazing what they do. It is they are like, it's a really that convention is really dope. There's a lot of like resources and people there, and I feel like there was definitely a different vibe than the one in Nashville that we did it last year. And yeah, we did a panel and it was about how authenticity can leverage your podcast and it.

Was cool, like to really reflect on how it has Yeah, how like like, yeah, that's really the scariest part of this is like how authentic You're gonna be real real. That's what my mom said. I told her what the panel was. She's like, what does that mean. I was like, well, I guess just how being yourself can really be beneficial. She's like, oh, yeah, I really look up to you. But you know, me and Erica since this was not so like it was intentional, but not in the way

I love being a corporate bitch, okay, corporate corporate, a corporate, authentic.

Creative bitch like that.

That space feels exciting to me because I make the rules and I can say whatever the fuck I want. And I cursed the whole time during the whole my whole panel, because that's who I am and that's what you're getting and that's why I'm here.

You know, And it's like, I just feel like it's it was. That was really cool and fun. I love that shit. It was. It was. It was an and you know, we all we've done it before. We got a bigger stage, we had more people come, and you know, people are engaged and you see people in real life they say I've listened, and I love that. Like it's just so much cooler when you get to really connect and have conversations and and be with people in mongstter industry and shake it up because you know, it can

You know.

Like, hey, and I remember the first podcast conference I went to. It was like Digital Hollywood or something here. I remember like someone gave us tickets and I was like taking.

Notes and I met and I met fucking cam Sex talk with my mom, And now we're on Pleasure podcast and like, I just think it's a testimony to the power of using your network, of using your network, because I didn't even think about that that you met him at that convention and now like he's like we work with him, yeah, in his business, But that's a lot of people we've come across, and like that's the power of making friends in your industry and then utilizing each other.

And that's another thing we did in this last five days. We like, yeah, we like solidified and had some really cool you know, some of our guests come and commit to coming to the retreat and adding value to the just the healing that we're all going to receive.

Yes, So I'm just yeah, I'm so excited. I was just talking to someone. I was like, I can't wait for the summertime. I was like, I can't wait to get back to Costa Rica. I'm ready to get I just love it there. It just gives me like this energy and I feel like there's this soul. I don't know, I have this weird connection to it. I don't know, Like I know that you do too, I don't know, but it all feels personal, Like when you go there, it's like your own personal connection to the space.

You know.

That feels like Yeah, So I'm really excited for our next retreats and it feels.

Grounding the next group of women. I know, I get to meet more women and like I already feel so close to the ones that like we've met and like we still talk every day every day.

Every day, we'll talk every day in the slack, and we fucking share pictures and stories.

H and you know meet up whenever we can, and everybody's meeting up and it's just like it just feels bombed and I'm super excited to you know, have gone through a good vibratory experienced it and then not get to do it again. We've extended it one day just so we have more time.

Yeah, I think that extra day is going to be really amazing and just like chill because the place is so it's like there's so much to do, but then there's so little to do.

Also, like it's really your choice. It's a small town, but you can.

Go ziplining, you can go whale watching, dolphins swimming, like all types of stuff.

And it's just like has a soul to it.

It does.

It's like a personal like you know what, like someone that you love and you've known forever. Soul. It's like like kind of like a like an embracing I don't like a really cool grandmother, the coolest, the coolest grandmother you could think of, like like and she has like so much knowledge and so much like everything's gonna be alright, Like going to visit like the most hippie ross to Grandma and she hugs you and makes you good food. That is the vibe. That is the vibe of the

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Happy Sexual Wellness. What else did we do? We went to a fashion show. Shout out to to our girl Ashley, who is the founder of the Model Experience. The motherfucking Model Experience actually was so fucking amazing. I cried, like I kept crying. I was so embarrassing.

This never happens where I'm like just so proud of my friends, and I'm just crying everywhere.

It couldn't stop.

It was so it's just been so amazing to watch the progression of her business and to see where she I've known her for so long, to see where she started and her to now like just have this epic modeling business where women get to go and like feel seen, like use these like these things that are nately in them, which is like to shine, just to shine and to feel confident and to feel empowered and to like all the women that were there, all the like the young

Oh my god, what are you wear? And like everyone was just coming together and making friends. So they're all in it together. Yeah, And it's beautiful to give people the opportunity to feel good and seen and photographed and have the opportunity to live your dream on a high in high end experience your family and friends to be able to come see you. It just it was really beautiful. And even like the designers were bombed, you know, like up and coming designers that you may not have like seen.

Yea?

Yeah, something free? Yeah? Oh god, I'm high right now.

But we're gonna leave them in the episode description because there were some really dope designers there were from that show, and it was just what's the name Benjamin, what's the guy's name?

Benjamin was there? He was like model the guest.

Yeah about the red carpet, I know, our first red carpet and we were high so awome, Oh my.

God, I was so fucking uncomfortable. I just looked at all the footage. I was like, please don't and I could see us like like walk stop, walk, smile or like didn't they ask us questions?

Bitch?

I was like wow. And then as soon as we fucking got out, she was like, do we need media training? Bitch? I was like yep. We were struggling. They were like, what is your fashion style? I was like, I just like addressed how I feel. And I was like what is my fashion?

Like what are you wearing? And I was like, well, I'm wearing Zara. But I was like, do I want to tell her I'm wearing Zara. I'm supposed be working something fancier. I don't know a fuck, Like I got these pants and some random store. This is a panga mall, Like these shoes I've had for four years.

They have better, Like we're not we need to get more details, cacaline, like this is a festival designer. Yeah, that's what I wish i'd really know his name. I would have sounded so much. I was like, I have something. I was like trying. I was like, maybe I can help her. I was like, do you remember you have the same You have to do something from him too. I'm like look at the tag I don't know Afrikhaan. Yeah, and then I think I was like, this is the only one weekend. Then we went to we had dinner

It was beautiful. They were fine, and we drank and I flirted and I was on the phone from the bathroom for like twenty minutes.

Are you yeah? I don't know if you remember that. What was I doing? Who knows? I was like, sure'll be fine here talking. I can't believe you left me for twenty minute. You were fine, And I said, I just noticed, like you did. Okay, Well, now she's pissed. Fuck you. We'd leave me at the party for the gay party for minute. I was like, she's up with her people. Yeah, I was flush. I'm going to go in the bathroom and flirt with my boo because I'm drunk. Yeah.

Yeah, we got there, and then we also went to another party. Actually it was like it was like church. We went to Trap Care Chrap Chap Karaoke, Trap Karaoke with hosted by.

Mouse Jone, and that shit was dope. It is mouse Jones, right, Yeah, Okay, that shit was dope. It was really dope. That was my first time getting to go to one, and it did feel like church. I was like, oh my god, look at our people singing together. I love this here. Everyone was so into it.

Everyone was like, it's another like community thing like and that's what the like the theme I feel like for me over the past obviously like yes, community is important, but I feel like seeing so many visual aspects of it over the last few months has really really made it me really understand how much we need each other.

Like I looked out into the crowd and everybody was smiling. I was like, what this is fucking I know. I mean, like, first of all, music, like it's so crucial to our happiness. Community really is crucial to our like to our humanity and to like pleasure and the freedom to just be and be free and sing and dance and smile and laugh and be amongst people you don't know and make connections like that's what this shit is all about, you know, like exchange of energy, like good energy. So it was

Yeah, that's really what I took from that day because like when I was at the Model Experience, I could just people can't you have to come make up ready, and there's so many activations, like you have a space where you could walk the runway, you have a space where you can take a photo shoot, you have like all these different places. So people come and you get to see their individual and what their representation of them shining looks like.

And that's like what I love to see because I'm like, okay, they were shining.

Yes, Like I think I had a whole crystal fucking I don't know, veil over his body and shit, I was like.

Okay, that looked for coach for sure. Right. There's a lot of books I need to get for Coachella. Yeah, So it was just it was a beautiful weekend and then I wanted to be a hoe, but I just we went home. I want, I was exhausted. I didn't knock the fuck out, and yeah, no, it's Monday.

We're still going. And then we went to a soccer game and we were soccer moms back at it. That's how it goes.

Balance, baby, its bad choices. Yeah. Shout out to the grandma's that were grandma's this whole day down. They held it down. They kept the kids for two days because it was physically impossible for us to mom. Nope, momming is hard. I was. There'd been no way we could have gotten everything done that we had to get done. There's just no fucking way. There's no way. No. I was. We were talking and I was like, you know, I

It wasn't a sacrifice. They have grandparents need to see them, Okay, you need for time. You need to see this person that I made from you. You are the ancestor. Okay, go be with the grand baby.

Honest to god, the fuck right, my mom be. Actually like these new school grandmas, the new school grandmas, they don't really make the grandma's the same, so they're not getting a baby. This is the thing. They might nag you out, but just your baby, the new school grandma's.

My grandma, I told you, came every weekend, my whole motherfucking life. Drove from like Orange County, which was over an hour away, never missed a weekend, never ever, ever, And I thought to myself recently, well, I was just chilling with her because I loved her so much.

Where the fuck my mom was doing her shit? Where the fuck was my mom during that time? She was for sure doing hoh shit. She was out and I didn't know because I was a kid. She was going to dinner with her friend. She will be right back. She was working, you know, like what the fuck? She was not doing any of those things. Mom, I know you weren't. Where were you? Where were you?

Because I feel like at all I didn't even notice because I just loved my grandma so much and she was coming every weekend.

But they don't make the Grandma's like that, No, Moore.

The grandmas are like two days in They're like, hello, yeah, well what time you said you'd be here?

But literally we called. Both of our moms were like hello, they were so excited. I was like, hello, I don't if I have to get up, do I have to want me to get that? Yeah, I'm just I'm just like I'm you know, I'm over sixty now, so just saying like, wow, you really make me do this with your kid. I'm like, okay, well what are you doing. You're writing a book, give a conference. Okay, well you're sure you're just not gonna mom, so you fuck your daughter? Huh so you just can't do it all? Okay, Wow,

So I think that's where the guilt comes from, because our work is not like it brings us joy.

It makes me happy and it looks fun. So then people get confused, They're like, they're not working. I'm like, bitch, Yes i am. I was on the Turk contest. I I had to. It was a networking event.

I mean I had to be there anyway, so I might as well have T worked. I mean, I should limit my tworking because I'm working. It's a part of don't work.

I'm talking while I'm working. Sure, talking while you're working? To Wednesday, Yes, I think it is. Let me write that down. Where's my phone? Fuck? Tworking while you're working? What's the while you work? Yeah?

Got work and talk and work talk talk talk, work work. Oh my god, I fucking love beingang twins or they Okay, I think we should play.

The song right there, because you know what.

I was going by that JJ insert what's the way I was going back and listening to our old episodes. If you guys have time, if you're just starting here, I encourage you to go back, go way, way, way back, because there was a time where we would open up all of our episodes with music and it was highly curated. It was beautiful, and I'm very upset.

That we can no longer do this. We don't speak of those times. Dear, we don't know what. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, never mind, don't don't do it. I don't know that you can go listen, but we don't have no idea about those. They're done. Get a sued, but it's three anyway. But yeah, if you're in Atlanta, hit us up. We will be there for the world.

We'll be there wrapping Talia at the Natural World Hair EXPA at the Atlantic Convention Center.

Ooh, the twenty My afro is gonna be so motherfucking wow. I guess I have braids are really make it. Yeah, bitch, Wow, what do you do about that? Natural wear? My puppy, hold me down? That just what the fuck are you talking about? Okay? Wow, how black women? You have said it. I'm just not suying to We're not like you're adding to my guilt. Okay, I'm sorry. It's beautiful. Shave your head whatever.

Okay, now I have to get I think you look really good with a shaved head and bleached it like Misha style.

It would be so sexy.

My head's really small, I know, but it was still cute. What if it was like blonde and like or like purple, like a dark purple dark blue?

Okay, well, yeah, I see it, dark blue. We're not going to number that. I don't know if I'm met it that edgy, I don't know. I think you could be convinced. I've had short blonde hair. It was yellow. It was in college. It was it probably wasn't.

You're in college. You don't know what the fuck you're doing. It was you need to go get it done blonde.

It was intense, and I promise never to go back there, even though cousin Chris has asked me many times, maybe don't do blonde he has mentioned that in my presence.

Actually it gives him life. Okay, you should maybe not do blonde because that's a lot of work. Maybe if you die, like diet another color, it's like less abrasive, and so then it's more.

You can like work with it more. Anyway, you're beautiful either way, thank you. I guess I'm getting braids for sure. By the time we go to Atlanta, else I'm gonna be shunned as a natural hair excellent. Oh then I'm going to New Orleans with my boo. I really want to run into this couple that I've talked about a lot. I know this is Stockrish, but I don't care. I want to know them. I'm too weak to pull up in their DMCA. I don't really how to approach them.

Why that's where you're supposed to do it, not on the podcast, bitch, you didn't start in the DMS.

You just went straight here. What the fun? I was just gonna say, if anybody knows them that I'm in town, you should just message you DM everyone else we're dm sliders. They just had a baby.

I don't really have to say, but I guess I'm gonna think of something and hey, I love your energy.

Where are you Hey, I'm coming to your city soon. I like you, I said to I said, get a service, something to offer services. Oh yeah, maybe, Okay, that's a good idea. I sent Orlando a DM with with them minute. I was like, I start stalking. I want to swing with them, and then I swing. Oh are you fucking from nineteen ninety four? The fuck? Oh my gosh, I know, but it did.

The way he said it reminded me of like my parents, how they might talk about it. But I'm gonna throw up.

I think you're right. And then right after I wrote that, I was like, I've never said that sentence exactly what. I can't even take myself serious. But it's something good at the time. That's what it means. I know what the fucking means. So what's what's the newer school way to say it?

I want to fuck them, I want them, Let's have them, Okay, I should have fun with them. No, if aren't they fine, let's swing, let's swing off the trees.

Swing baby.

But you know what, Orlando's kind of like dump nineteen ninety four, So it makes sense. You guys are like the perfect ninety four couple.

You can see it him.

It as crop tops, you and your booty shorts talking about swinging.

Oh my god, I was I'm so guilty and a shamed. I was watching fucking Zeus Network last night. First, I was watching Jossone's Cabaret because I haven't seen it in two seasons. I really need to go back.

Oh my god, I think I watched this last one with Sebastian and it was they were at that house.

I need to go back in the beginning. It's really like the going back to the girl had reality. Wait did she have an abortion? Like? What was she shaming her for having abortion of twins? I saw that. I saw the Yes, that was a lot. She said double wash it almost passed out and not double homicide. Double Oh god. I'm like, oh, so, then there's Bad Boys Club that's on now, which is absolutely ridiculous. And I was on the phone the land. He's like, should I

Am I Liberary Awards of a list of things of never to say in public? So you see this, don't get excited, don't do this. Look very serious. Let me see the l A face look very serious. Oh that's cool.

I'm really aloof. I don't care. Yeah, oh really? Oh yeah, I know her to Oh what's your name? I I saw you five times, but I don't forgot. I'm gonna I don't know you. Oh oh yeah, it's friend. What do you do you? Oh that's I don't know her. No, you know who that I know? No, I don't think i've met you. Oh my god, you know him? Oh my god, his famous I Oh my god, I fucking love you, fucking love you. You know him, and now I want to know him. Oh my god, you're that

Paused the combo an instant because she was working and she felt like but she was like, I was like, you know what, like you were talking too much.

You were talking about text like I texted like fux. But I was like, bitch, I'm working too. Like, bitch, your messaging. I was like, this is whine. This is my need to stop making friends because I don't have time. I just liked it. Bitch. I was like, I'm not even me too, So am I super busy? T T T T y up? The fuck? Oh my god, l A, that is a very light Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm working right now. I'm calling after this conference call.

Everybody's working, but nobody's work, nobody's everyone's available, but no one's everybody's but.

They're working so hard. Us included. Yeah, that's every time I like wake up and I'm in my deep la lifestyle. I'm like, I love it here. This pulls sex, the Intercontinental pull downtown not good, not not what does it would recommend?

No?

Not what does the mean? Girls saying not clutch, not clut, not fat.

That pool was very sterile. It was not sterile environment. The free hand was dope. The free hand was really cute. That pool was fucking freezing though only white people were getting in that pool.

I kept the injury low.

Were like literally like there all day and I was like, do you notice how there's only white people in this pool.

It's very cold. They don't give a fuck. We put our toe in. There was fucking freezing. Finally someone jumped in. Wait what did you say. He's like, oh, don't know. She's I was like, is he black. She's like he's mixed it, like that's his white side and his white side was the pool. It's for real. It was really cold. But what cars did we pull? My love? Is it Tarot time? It's Terra time. Going to our favorite Tero site.

Ta get more bitty betyma a baity beat beat beat beaty bitty bumba email them. Hey, by the way, We've been using your site for four years.

Upright, it means intuition, sacred knowledge. What was the card? This is I pulled too? This is the High Priestess I've been pulling too lately.

Privately, Okay, thanks for letting me in on your little fucking weird taran secret.

I'm too high for that, okay. The High Priestess card, intuition, sacred knowledge define feminine the subconscious mind. While the magician is the guardian of the conscious mind and the tangible world, the High Priestess is the guardian of the subconscious mind and the teacher of the sacred knowledge and hidden mysteries. Sitting at the threshold of the conscious and subconscious mind, the High Priestess has an innate ability to travel between

Payin off bach the cars say bow bow bow bow bow boo getting paid bow spear savvy get paid bage and with money, shit can't go wrong here.

I need the money of the spirits and of the real coins. I believe that. I believe that. And over the weekend we had two really strong cards and pinnacles too, which is like the money cards, and they were abundant, and I'm feeling I'm feeling like all the things are on the way. Do you have an affirmation for us my lives? Do I have an affirmation? Let's think everything is always as it should be, Everything is always as

As fuck's that's at least that's my hope that I'm trying to believe. Yeah, but I feel more, I feel more like I am in that space in my life though, I feel more like unstoppable and the and like I don't feel the me even this actually this weekend, I had this moment where I felt jealousy about like one of my peers, and I had to check myself.

And be like, bitch, that doesn't take anything away from you. Stop. Everything is as it should be. Girl, You're good. This is You're on your own fucking path.

And the amount of signs that I've had to attest to that, like I'm like, I'm good, I'm good.

I know that. I know that, Like, no, congratulations, that's amazing. I know she's like i'mnauseous. I'm like, it's fine, girl, that'shus our shit, Like I'm not tripping. I we have a big week, my love, and we have like a lot of conversations happening all the time, and so you know, there's just endless opportunities. Oh for sure, I know that. That's why to check myself.

But because I genuinely know that, But it's like sometimes you do you go and I don't know, like you have to. I feel like me, maybe I haven't always known that. Sometimes I have to, like I go back to like former version of the lower vibrational version of myself when it comes to those things.

Well, no one's like great overnight, like this is all we have like, but is it visceral responses? You know, things like but it's just it was just like the moments after that you're allowed to feel those ways, and then you give yourself the opportunity to, you know, like evaluate the feelings and what you're saying and why you're saying it, and then rationalize your feelings and not even rationalize them, but feel them and then release them because they're not real. Sometimes well, and I.

Think people have the feelings, they just don't say them out loud. And I'm just saying it out loud, like just like I've said out loud to you. Like there's been moments where I felt jealous. There's been moments where I felt like less than There's been moments where like, these are not popular things you ever want to share with your friends because it makes you look like a.

Hater or like weak. But we're human, you know, And in that moment, I felt very human.

And I had to check myself and say, no, this is that's not actually human, that's not actually the human you are.

But that's also like the you know, when you feel away, I can't remind you like we got this, we're good. And when I'm feeling away. You're like, we got this. Just talk, bitch, we talk. You could do this, Yeah, because I needed pep talks, you know, like, I appreciate our partnership for that reason, even if we do suffer from intense separation. Exciting, but I feel good. I feel happy, I feel super high, and I feel like I'm talking

Oh my god, I forgot about Yeah. I can't wait to hear that Indica. Well, anyway, y'all, y'all know where to find us. Make sure you like, subscribe if you're listening. If you're on Spotify, please like this episode. If you're on Apple, please like and make sure that you leave us a review. Help black podcasters get beat the black ass racism of algorithms on Apple podcast. Make sure you check out our retreat in Costa Rica this summer. We have two retreats, one happening July thirty first, the next

Just watch the video.

If you watch the video, you will understand what I'm talking about. Don't even take my word for it.

Just go watch the fucking video.

So go to Good Momsbad Choices dot com backslash Retreats. I have everything here in the episode description.

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