Everything They Don't Tell Moms Feat While They Nap Podcast

Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices.

I'm Erica and I'm Mela, and I'm sleepy, which is just yawning over he sorry, call me Midy.

She's over here, chugging.

Birth control pills, yawning, yelling at her mother's lot happening right now.

She's totally fine.

Guys, everything's perfect.

You're good, okay?

Cool?

Well?

Hi, Hi, how are you? I'm good? Happy hump day.

Do you like my hair?

It's so cute. I've actually made me feeling.

I was trying to figure out like maybe if it was like to like like to this, like I put a braid in it.

I think it kind of like.

So I'm in the midst of doing ban two knots, which I don't know. Like I was in the shower and I was like, I'm so fucking.

Over my hair. Why did I grow it out? It's too much?

And I was like, I'm gonna do it to what Chamila does and get band two nuts. And then the moment I started it, I was like, this is a horrible idea.

It's really easy. I can finish that.

I can't see. It took me literally ten minutes to do one part.

Well, the parts you can't worry about. You gotta just say fuck the parts. I just do.

Well, it's my nigga's birthday on Friday.

I was trying to Yeah, I was trying to be cute, like I was trying to have to see a look not just like protective sleep style.

Well, no one cares about the parts, but also I care about the part. You know, your man likes to do weird shit like, I mean, he might.

He might. He might do my hair after tonight. I'm sure you will.

He like pucked your eyebrows.

I know it's great.

I have a living facialist, hairstyleist, nail doer.

Such a cancer I know. Okay, Anyway, we're here, we're joined by while they nap podcast Ladies of Wild.

They nap.

Thanks, guys, I'm shin and I'm late, and you.

Guys are in Canada, right we are Drake.

Yeah, but you said Drake's hometown. Oh my god, I love Drake. But now he lives here at our home down the valley.

About it, Listen, I feel like you know what that's it's okay, Like we're okay with it, but just remember where he was.

Does he actually live here? Yeah, everywhere.

I've been to his house, his house twice, so have you?

Yeah?

Is he there? Yeah? Wait? When was this?

Every summer he has a party and I go, what are you talking about? Where have you been?

I've been? I don't know, I've been here with you? And why it wasn't I invited to the summer party.

Always call me a club groupie, and so you don't get invited. Wait, let me tell you this week.

No, that was you were trying to go. She was trying to go to a fucking.

And we missed it and it was amazing.

Was the best?

She went, Yeah, so let me tell you this is the most la shit ever.

So I'm here, I'm so tired, like I kind of got a bed that my my homegirl calls.

I'm like hello, I'm like yeah, She's like, Drake's DJ just called me.

I'm so what, So did you want us to come over? She's like no, I did they want to go out? I'm like, I don't want to go out. I don't want to be like a group where. She's like, I'm like, listen, if we go into his house, it's like this intimate setting that probably have crab legs. This is the most La conversation. And then she calls me the next day because we ended up not going. She's like, we missed everything. Drake DJ told me Kylie was there. It was a small, intimate terrible.

I know I was.

Anyway, they went to the house, and they went to the Delight, they went to the Lilas and the meeting that Danielle didn't go because I was too tired and she was tired, and I should have just went because for what I don't know.

But I could have plugged good Moms. I could have told Drake about good mom.

I was over here shaming her. I'm like, you guys are ratchet club huse.

Every time I want to go to her, she shames me.

But I just feel like the clubbing days are just whack in La. There's no fucking point.

It is the whack. But like, Drake's house is really nice.

You weren't going to Drin's house, I know, but I'm saying, if he was invited, it was another full party, I would go, even though I'm going to there's so many hoes.

You're like, she's self inviting herself, Drake, if you're listening, you better be.

I'm only going to his home. I refuse to meet him in public space.

Wait, okay, let me also get now that we're all the topics, let me just go ahead and tell you the last time went to Drake's house. Right, there's all these bitches, you know, probably like ten to one to the niggas, and they're all like wearing a shitload of makeup. It's four hundred degrees in calabasses, it's melting off the allbring weaves and all looking like trying to be cut

We're like.

My baby, my baby daddy is with us. We made him sit at the end to time who made it out? But only two bitches at Drake's house Like, oh you Marks, I'm like climbing climbing up the sta.

One me of course athletic for you, Yes, why are you shocked that I'm shocked that you're athletic? I've never seen you do one athletic thing in my house.

Fight you right now, I wrestle you to the ground. That's amazing. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry about my drake rant. I'm clearly in love obviously, I'm want to take that. Like, so you've been to Toronto, then you must know what. Oh I haven't. No, I've only been to Vancouver. I want to come to Toronto though, Yeah, you need to.

Vancouver's amazing though, absolutely so. We call Vancouver like the la of Canada.

Oh really.

Every person from California that we talked to were like, have you been to Canada?

It's always Vancouver.

Yeah, I've been to Canada.

I've been to Montreal, Vancouver and Toronto, and Montreal is beautiful, gorgeous, it's just so cold.

No, they a lot. They speak French there, right, that's like the language of language.

Yeah, it's like cool, friends, it's like a little bit different, but I mean same fiv Yeah. Okay, ladies, So tell me about your guys. Tell me how you guys started your podcast. What's why did you guys start while they mapped? Obviously kids, Yeah, that.

Was like the big one there.

But I we were on maternity leave and I always wanted to start a podcast, but I didn't know what I wanted to talk about, and I just didn't want to do like, you know, random shit. So I was like, I'm gonna wait until something comes to me. And then I had a baby and I was like, Okay, I like this, this is cool. I have a lot of shit to talk about about being a mom, like I didn't like I feel like being a first time mom.

I was just like, what the what the fuck is going on?

Like so much shit was happening, and I'm like, nobody told me about this shit, Like no one was like why is my whole body falling apart? Like I don't understand, and a lot was happening. I felt really lonely. I didn't have much friends to talk to because they didn't have any kids at the time, or all their kids are much older so they couldn't remember. So a mutual friend of ours kind of hooked this up and we started going on like mom dates.

I'm laughing at that.

Now we can stop your fuffles and that's funny way.

You know, just so you guys know.

When before we started this interview, Jamila was fully convinced that they were married, and then they were lesbian married.

Well, Erica said, you guys are married, right, and they both said yeah, So I figured to each other. I mean I was it sounded like this is twenty twenty. You can't just say are you married? Then asked too, you know that doesn't apply to other people. The two people sitting in front of us super.

Cute and hilarious. We were hooked up, but yeah, that's kind of what happened. We were hooked up, and then Sen approached me and was like, hey, like you know, this is after we had already gone out and like spend time with each other.

She was like yeah, like I kind of have this idea to start a podcast. What do you think? And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm okay.

She was like Nana, I'm good, Like that's okay, that's not for me, Like my voice is gross, Like I hate the sound of my voice, Like I don't want to do that, and like I hate being like bandwagony, like I know, like, of course, like you know, these at least for everybody, and everyone has their own passions. But I felt like the podcasting things like really growing, everyone's a podcast? What podcast? But I was like yeah, no, I don't want to be a part of that camp.

And then she's it. She was like Adam, and she's like, just try, just try it.

And then the same friend I hooked this up was like, honestly, give it one shot, try one time.

If you hate it, you hate it. If you like it, then fine.

And then like it came at like a pivotal moment where my husband had left to work out of town and I was home alone with my daughter, who is a blessing, but like Jesus, being home with her by myself when she's ten months old, doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, everything was fucking exhausting, and I'm like, yo, I can't do this, Like I just I need to, like I need an outlet. So one day called my cousin's mom was like please watch my baby.

Went to her house. I'm like, yeah, let's record, and like I got some shit.

I was in, Like I was like faceing that mic and I just went in and by the end of it, I'm like, wow, that was so cathartic.

I need to do this again, like where it started.

So it was dope because it's started being it was about us truly, like about us, you know, just sharing our thoughts and then like in the process of that, we built the community, which is pretty cool.

Yeah, that's so dope. So you guys are in Canada, like what is would you say? Like, well, because I know America we're fucked.

I'm sure, I'm sure you've been watching the news.

I'm sure you're aware that America's a joke.

Well, I mean, but I know that Canada has been in quarantine too, and obviously you guys are still in quarantine. You guys have probably been going through the same shit as us, as moms who are locked locked.

Up, don't let me out.

Locked up with our kids and stuff, and like, well, what's.

The climate over there in Canada as far as like what's happening? Or is everyone really like paranoid? Are they all indoors?

Have you guys broke quarantine?

Well yeah, well yeah, kids going to summer camp? Are they going to go to school?

Like camp is canceled? Yeah?

I just my daughter's in camp and I was, you know, you know how like chatty broads asked if we've ever been like people talk shit?

What chatty brods ask people if people talk shit? Someone talks shit? What on chatty Broad's about us about me in the comments.

What they said, They said that we they only could get through half the episode because basically we're bad moms because we're black.

We're bad.

I've been making everything about brains.

Black, that that I'm just irresponsible because I have my daughter going to camp, and that my man met my family and that's just irresponsible and breaking quarantine by letting my new boyfriend meet my mom.

Bitch, did you hear anything said about the na that we need.

To be more immersed with our kids and less worried about going out, and that we're boneheads.

First of all, I want to make it reach. I'm not gonna make it Rachel.

However, Ye Karen, nobody of any other race ever try to insult anyone by calling them a bonehead. That that one Karen is just not going to do it.

You're gonna have become a little harder. Babe.

Oh my god, I think I called.

Her, You responded.

I responded, I was like.

First of all, her school's taking the necessary precaution, so you can take that up with all the other parents.

Right, I'll send you their emails.

And I was like, and what I do with my family? Is then your motherfucking business. Didn't say motherfucking because I don't want to scare these white people. And then I said, you know, there's no name for.

Name calling, like like sugar bumb or something.

I said, so bonehead, sugar bum.

The funniest thing is like you should never come for a black woman by calling her a phonehead.

You're gonna lose. Oh my god. Wow.

But I'm just wondering, like, are you have you guys, like you know, there's a lot of mommy shaming, especially a surrounding quarantine, and how what you're doing and who you're hanging out with and all those things, like how have you guys encountered that out there and how are.

You dealing with it?

I feel like people's reaction in Canada is pretty much the same in America. People are protesting here that they don't want to wear masks.

Yeah really yeah.

And then there are people that just don't give a shit and are still like going out and doing whatever they want to do. And then there are people that are paranoid and are indoors at all times. But of course, like being a parent, it's hard, Like I don't want to stay home every day with my kid, like I'm crazy, I'm going crazy. Yeah, and like we have toddlers, so.

You can how old are how old are your kids?

My eighteen and a half months. My daughter's twenty months.

So you're not putting like I'm not putting a mask on my eighties like that, Let's be like, let's be honest. And if I'm not putting a mask on my eighteen month old, and I'm out there like it's very possible that you should get something, give it to me.

Like it's like it doesn't make any sense, you know, it's unavoidable. It seems Yeah, it is.

All I'm saying is like everyone needs to chill, not chill. I get it. People are dying, and I'm respectable of that.

And like I've I have people that have been have died, I know people that have died.

I just also feel like what I do with my motherfucking family, like, bitch.

You don't know.

You don't know at what point I decided to quarantine for fourteen days with my nigga and then introduce him to my mom, right or vice versa. You have no idea what we're doing over here. And quite frankly, it sounds like you're very bored and on edge, bitch, because you haven't been anywhere and you ain't smoked no weed, and so you're kind of hating it sounds like you're hating on us because we've found we've we've found the silver lining of this all.

And I get it.

You're miserable. We're all we're in the same boat. But what you don't need to do is project how you're feeling on people who are just dealing with the same shit as you.

Differently. We're all moms, we're all doing the same shit. We're all trying our best.

We're obviously haven't killed our kids. You know, the government hasn't come to get them. They're safe, they're happy, they're fed, and.

You need to mind your fucking business.

You listen to us for half the episode that was clear, so about forty minutes and that's just not enough to tell me about me, bitch, mind your business.

And my friend too will get that ass.

Yeah, well that handles that.

Yeah, that question.

So your your your podcast is called while they napp? Do your kids actually nap all your podcasts?

Like how do you do that?

Not?

Like like are you saying like my daughter's downstairs right now, in the basement of my husband. Any second, now, any second, you're gonna have a kid who running up half naked with goldfish in her mouth.

The goldfish, oh right, the kids love it. How do How do your husbands feel about the podcast? And you guys like discussing, you know, your real rude feelings about motherhood amongst the internets of millions of people.

Are they like, can you chill? Do you talk about them? Are their roles surrounding that in the marriage? No, they don't care. They don't care.

Now at the end of the day, like he knows who he married. He's like, I'm a talker. Leanne is gonna like voice her opinion. She's gonna say what she has to say. He's like, and I don't always want to hear that shit. He's like, so at the end of the day, like, if you need to release and you need to like let that out, go for it, like say it all on the podcast, leave it all there. Of course, Like we communicate and I'm still able to confide in him. But he loves the fact that I have.

They don't want to talk to us. Oh, you're talking to other people.

Cool, don't give what you're talking about.

Do your husbands listen?

It's not depending on the episode, Like if he knows that I'm talking about him on that episode, he's gonna listen.

Yes, Like the Baby Love a Marriage episode where I talked about the fact that like six week four parts on twelve weeks when I had seven stitches, my asshole was completely spread and opened out.

That I was anything And I was like, you know, like no, like I've pissed off.

I don't.

He's definitely he was like, oh, okay, so that tell me how you really feel.

Oh, it's like that, Like but he wanted to hear.

For the most part, they're like, nah, it's.

Kind of a good excuse to like get them to hear what you got to say.

But not You're like, oh, no, I didn't talk about you just a little.

Just a little. This is how I really feel.

This is an.

Announcement to my husband. We just went in. It's true. How long have you guys been podcasting? Uh, less than a year? No, less than a year.

How do you think?

Well, my question aside from podcasting, because you guys have toddlers and like I'm so like Mila just recently finally stopped calling our kids toddlers because they're like not toddlers anymore. Like, do you do you feel like when you after you had your daughter? You have wait, you have you have a daughter and you have a daughter as well.

Yeah, daughter.

Do you feel like like, what was your transition out of pregnancy? Did you go through any sort of postpartum or were you I mean, you.

Guys have husbands. We don't know anything about that. We don't know what support looks like.

But also but also you don't have to you can have a husband, and I feel supported too, you know.

So it was interesting.

I had postpartum anxiety and I didn't really expect that. I was expecting postpartum depression.

What's post partum anxiety? It's like the anxiety to not have depression.

It's I don't know, it's it's hard to explain because I assumed it was postpartum depression, but then a nurse told me it was postpartum anxiety, which they have now separated from postpartum depression because you don't get depressed, but your anxiety levels are like on ten thousand, where.

I didn't sleep for weeks, like not even a little bit.

As soon as I got home, I like sat over the baby, bass in it and in so much fear that she was gonna die. And I was like, I know that she's fine, but I couldn't help it. I was just like so scared and worried. And it lasted for maybe like two months. It lasted for like two to three months.

And like, what was that fear that you had that like.

Someone was gonna come and throw her down this It was like these weird intrusive thoughts where I would just like wake up and look at my stairs and like want to get a knife because I thought someone was in my house to throw my baby down the stairs.

Mama bear was coming.

Did you feel any of that when you were pregnant or it kind of it was like shocking that it.

I was chilling when I was pregnant. I loved being pregnant. It was so it was so chill other than throwing up every day.

I was like, I was so chill.

I was just yacking every day.

Favorite part of my love it, I can do it.

I was still enjoying myself, like I had a great time, But nothing prepared me for postpartum.

I had no idea what was happening to me.

And I think the craziest thing about that, though, was, even though I tried to get help, the thing that made me kind of snap out of it is I fell down the stairs one day with the baby in my arms, and I just remember like huddling her into my boobs and like pressing it in and just taking the fall.

It's funny that, Like, it's really funny when it happened.

That much time don't have boobs over time to not.

But after that moment, I actually felt better because I was like, Okay, I.

Gotta get my shit together because shit happens.

Well you are probably you probably almost like you manifested the stairfalling, right.

No, it ain't gonna be no one else but you, bitch. It's gonna be you. Other falls the stairs, you know. You know it's funny about that.

I have never heard of the term postpredum postpartum.

Anxiety either, but I told my good friend who has three girls, like she had kids wade before me. When I, like first had my baby, I kept having these extreme thoughts like I'm gonna fall, she's gonna drop, someone's gonna pick her up and take her the shoulder's gonna go over the hill and tumble down, like all these extreme thoughts.

And she was like, that's normal.

She was like, that's a part of you, like almost your body training for anything could could happen, and for like what you could do, what you would do.

Your body.

Because I was having like terrible I was having like the most extreme visions too, like just I opened.

The door and let you know, just the worst of the worst things I could possibly happen. And I was like, what the fuck?

And She's like, no, these are normal thoughts because that's like how your mind prepares you to tire boobs and a not if you're falling down the stairs.

I think probably cause I think the problem though, is that when it happens, and it VENTCI from doing things right. So like in her case, like I had this a similar thing, where like mine didn't last nearly as long. But I hear that it's very common for parents to like watch their kids sleep, and that was especially it was so real for me, like, oh my gosh, that's why I CoA slept for as long as I did,

Yeah, oh absolutely, I mean I mean even speaking.

Like, we were looking on your page and I know you guys had posted this video about the how the oscars had rejected this commercial about like, you know, the post what happens postpartum to your body? And nobody told me that shit. No one told me I was wearing a diaper.

I didn't think about it.

I didn't even think about it.

I was never gonna be so happy with my new baby. Nostrolla.

Why did my female doctor not tell me that I have a.

Female doctor too?

And there was not a lot of conversation about the aftercare that was going to be required.

It was crazy.

I was like, what I just I just remember like when I was watching that video and I was watching her struggle, you know, get out of the bed using the like the hairry, the Perry bottles, springle bottle, all that stuff, Like I remember, I think, and I told the story before, like I really I would sit on the couch, I'd get up and there DP and I'd be like, what the fuck I keep And I'm like I didn't even know. I didn't even feel myself peeing, like.

And it would happen.

It happened to me for about like almost like two months, and I was like so.

Depressed about it. I thought I was never going to be the same again. I was. I felt gross.

I felt like my man was like I'm married, Like my bitch is like four hundred years old, now kiss it everywhere.

Age four hundred years Oh my god.

I remember we went to Target and we got out of the car and I was so excited to finally get out of the house. And then I just went to get up out of the car and I peed on the seat and I just started fucking.

Bawling and he was like, oh no, and he had to go up there and get me some depend.

I had to wear depends, and I tried to get the ones that had designs on them so they still feel like drawn, but they don't.

They don't feel like that, not underwear that still depends. And then I had to put like my my pacticle in there.

So I was like, well, Olivaron, it was frozen because I had a second degree tarang.

So they had to sew They had to sew it up.

Yeah, it's seven stitches, so that's just crazy.

I had to sit on a donut pillow for like almost two months, so I thought like, yo, there's no way my couch is gonna return to there's it's not humanly possible.

This is this is.

Probably is better low key now because you have sewed.

Up an extra tape. You listen to me brand New Men's.

Wait, were you scared to have sex after that?

Like?

How did like what was the how did you do that?

Like I talked I'm telling you so on that episode we talked about I was petrified, like so so scared.

I'm like, this is worse than virginity, way worse.

Worse because it's like and it's just like legitimately like the smallest, like little thing trying to like it was just it was awful.

It was awful. Oh so it did. So it did hurt the first.

Time, and it's just like, you know, you can't. It's it's hard. Like I have a Jamaican husband, you know, and here he's like he's a Jamaican man all around. I'm like, huh, Jamaican men. She's taking the Jamaican husband. Huh.

You can't put you can't bring that over here, like not now, not any time, like anywhere.

And it was just it was terrible.

We went to a really really rough paths because you know, they say to the doctor, I mean, the doctor says to them like sixty week.

Six weeks, and they're keeping count. Yeah what I'm like, okay, every day twelve I am, so.

Week five, I think twelve am, so it's been six weeks.

Twelve am on the dots.

Oh God, like you know what i mean. Put the baby to bed, close the roof to her crib. I turned around fully naked.

Man, I'm like what you're standing there?

Like I'm here. I don't.

Man, it was a mess. It was a mess. It was really really hard.

It was really scary, but eventually, like we worked at it and like you know, we were patient. We did all the things, all the different tricks, all the lube, and like the grace of God, like we were in there like somewhere, but you're back.

Do you guys want to have more kids? I want one more? No, I'm not right now.

No, you might change your mind, but yeah, or.

Are you saying that like a vision? Ain't got no kids.

I just trying to be nice. I don't know you could change? Might you don't be open?

Do you want another kid?

I know?

I mean I love my baby and like I'm in a relationship now, and like he really wants kids.

He wants like kids, like more, as in more than one, more specifically twins.

I used to really want twins until I heard your story.

I wanted twins as well, but I'm like, if you don't get it the first time, I don't want them.

I don't want he specifically wants twins because I may I fucked up and told him that I could potentially have twins.

You can't.

That's fucky, and isn't it sounds like the Devil's cool?

Sounds like the devil in motion. So if he doesn't get twins, he said he would at least like two.

I said, at least you lucky if ever you get one. Yeah, So I don't know.

Like I was actually having this conversation with my mom today too, because she was like, I asked me if he wanted kids, and I said, yeah, he does, and she's like do you And I said, I don't know.

I don't think.

So I'm like, it's a lot, and she was like, you know, She's like, I know, I say this a lot because my mom and I are semi living parallel lives.

Is like how we both became single moms.

And like whatever, and she's like, I know, I say this a lot, like I've been through this, but like, honestly, like having a support having a partner and someone who's supportive, it makes a world of difference. Like my experience with you, Erica is ten times different than it was with Cruise, my brother, because her and my stepdad are together. He's a great father, he's involved. And I was like, yeah, I don't know what that's like. It still sounds scary, not.

That like her dad, not that my daughter's dad isn't a great father.

But it's like he's not in my house. I didn't have that support system like built in. So she was like, just be open to it.

So I'm like, okay, maybe, but I don't know.

People be crazy, Like you bet with someone for seven years and they show up and be crazy and then boom your mom again.

I just know if I want to do this be a single parent again too.

I you would have to submit me to the like you would have to put me somewhere.

I would definitely be on a lot of xanax.

I literally just I thought, you can say you have to put me down, I drug you and pregnate.

You, le me down.

Handmaid's tail. I think I have.

I have.

I call it post traumatic baby daddy disorder. I I I my decisions aren't trustworthy. I can't trust my decision making. So it's just hard. Like honestly, the thought of having two kids, which I'd hate to say this, I know this is a stigma.

It doesn't matter.

But two kids, two baby daddies and neither of them working.

Oh.

I mean, I know ericam Dedo does it with grace and style, but I just it would make me maybe.

Jump out of the window, just because it's so hard.

Yeah, it's a lot of personalities, it's a lot of schedules, a lot of time. That's a lot, it's a lot, a lot of money. Yeah yeah, I'm like, one.

Of you, motherfucker's better be a genius or one of y'all.

Ain't going to y'all, but are come out with it, come out with the winning lottery ticket.

I don't need to wait eighteen years. You need to come out waiving the numbers. That is it. And also I think about, like, yeah.

That period right after having a baby and like trying to figure out like who am I am?

I just a mom?

Am I am cow?

I have to also tend to you you want to have sex, like oh shit, it's a weird like place to navigate that nobody really does give you tips on because hello, it's so crazy, like watching that thing, that commercial that the Oscars didn't approve for obvious reasons. This is America, and the shit we paint of pregnancy and of labor and everything is nine times out of the

Yeah, it's true.

So they can kill us with diet and COVID all of the things.

Strange.

Yeah, tell us because I think it's so important.

Like you, like, you end up feeling that's when you start to feel alone because you see it on TV and you're like, that's not what I thought it was gonna be.

So you're damn right.

When it's two AM and I'm in the freaking washingtom squirting this shit in my vagina to try and soothe it so that while I'm peeing, I'm not crying, because legitimately, the first three times I pee up was like physically crying because it was burning so much. It's like, yeah, like make that normal so that I don't feel so weird, because at least I.

Know what I'm I'm getting myself into.

Right, they don't tell you that.

They're like, it's gonna be great, it's gonna beautiful, it's gonna be so wonderful, not like, oh, by the way, you might rip, you're gonna have to spray vagina.

Don't lie. I wear diapers.

Oh, and that's oh and also pooping, Yeah, that first poop is gonna be fucking horrible. I almost forgot that first poop, That first poop, that's ruin your life. And doesn't it take like a minute, because I've drugged you up so hard. I was didn't poop for like two days, two weeks. It was a long time weeks And I'm not joking. I kept saying to myself the entire time, I'm like, you push out a baby. You pushed out a baby.

That's the only way I.

Can get through it.

Because the pain was so I could not convince myself that I would be able to do it.

I'm like, there's no way. I'm like, you push out a baby, you can push out a turn. It's a turn.

See.

I didn't even I didn't even get to push out my baby.

Okay.

So I was just dealing with incision like I had. I had a sea section, not by choice, trust me, that's a whole other.

Mis not miscommunication did in miscommunication.

My doctor knew exactly what she was doing, but I so then I had this decision. I was in so much pain recovering from my sea section. Some people be acting like the sea section recovery is a breeze, not for me. And I just remember having finally like I.

Was like, okay, I think I have to I think I have to poop now, Okay, So.

I went to the bathroom and I was like, oh no, I don't think I don't think my Bible can stretch this winde.

There's just no way that it could ever come out.

Like it literally felt like a bowling ball was trying to get out.

I remember that it was so much pressure. I was like and I was just breathing. I was crying. And then I remember when it finally like passed, like, oh my god.

I looked down. That was the weirdest shape poop I'd ever seen. Not everyone knows these you know about my poops, but it was just.

It's all dark from all the meds they give you. Yeah, they don't tell they literally tell you shit. I didn't want to have a baby in a hospital, and I ended up having a baby in the hospital. And as soon as I got to the hospital, I realized why after I had the baby, is it just me like I feel like every two hours, if it was two o'clock in the morning, four o'clock of morning. They just would wake up a new lady was like handing me a couple of pills and taking it.

I have no fucking clue what those people were giving.

I was just taking it.

I was just like, oh no, I didn't even ask any questions. It's just like, I mean, okay, and then you can't poke for two weeks. Oh god, this is the worst shit ever.

Oh there's so many things I forgot about this process that are coming back to me that is making me to think about a second.

Kid, how do you bring it up?

I'm like, no, no, no, no, I don't I answer so confidently and I'm like no.

And for you guys, did your like my my my belly got like super darker than the rest of my body. So my boobs and like the second day got huge as fuck, Like I got a double deal on the plastic surgery table.

Yesterday.

They were so hard. I was like, this is great, but where am I gonna go? And they hurt, They're all veiny. I was like, oh my god, my boobs look great. What's wrong with my stomach? My stomach with the same color as my shirt and my face was still the regular color.

I was like, is this gonna go away? What is happening? And she's like, shoot your hormones. I'm like, my hormones are making me change colors.

My boobs look great.

My nipples, my areolas were as dark like this.

Yeah, like my stomach and my nipples I look like the fucking National geographic and like huge nipples, baby boobs.

I literally I was like, I'm a cow.

I'm a cow.

That black, black stomach and that black line, that line that took forever.

I thought it was never gonna do. I'm like guilt away.

And I had an Audi, so like I already have an audi, so imagine then once I had a baby, like it was a nose, it was a full news. How so after you had your baby, I mean I don't know, like if you guys like for me, like I gained seventy pounds in my pregnancy and after I had my kid, like I was like, who is this?

What is this body I've been left with? Like what is this? Like leftover shit here?

Like you guys are you guys are married and like you know your husband's Like were they did they help you?

Like or did they make you feel sexy? Maybe? Did you just come out popping babies out and just look fine as hell, like.

The MASKIM is loose, or for me, like I only gained. I gained eighteen pounds during pregnancy.

Damn, really, that's it, even even I even.

I gained thirty.

I ate eighteen pounds during pregnancy, lost it within like three weeks, and then going twenty three pounds within the first month. But after eating postpartum, I was eating non stop.

You got twenty three pounds thicker.

Twenty three pounds thicker during breastfeeding because I was eating.

Like a mad woman, you bitch.

I got skinny immediately. I lost all thirty pounds immediately that six weeks was up, and they were like, you're just your ninety.

Six I gain.

I lost two pounds I lost after six weeks. I was ninety six pounds. I started ninety eight. When I say I wanted to pick that doctor.

Oh, oh my god, my god, I remember those I used to be that girl where I used to like be drinking like insure and nutriment with my meals even.

Though it tastes disgusting, and then you really have to ship because you just eating too much.

I just wanted to be thick so bad. But I'm like, be careful what you ask for, because now let me say, let me say that I asked, I got asked.

Damn it.

It's in areas that I want to keep it, but there are some areas that I'd rather let it go.

But I made it what it is.

Look, you guys both look, so how did you deal with your postpartum postpartum Like did you feel like you had any sort of transition that had to happen with your body or did you were you embracing your new body or has it taken time?

Because you guys, are you know, fresh your fresheets.

It's a lot because you want to you want to get back to the body that you thought you had, and then you're like, but I like my body after a baby because you're you're a lot thicker, you feel like you have more of a woman in body. But then you're like, oh, I need to get rid of like my stomach or like little pockets of fat in other places.

But they're also tired.

That part it's like to take out, like having full time jobs, doing a podcast, running your household, having to tend for a baby and your husband. Like there's just like so much to juggle, and you're like, what the Like I need to find time for myself, but like that is also an issue like in a marriage. It's like, can you give me a second so I can go work it out, like work myself out, like try to

I feel like we're always in a stubb with that.

I mean, I think we're both very fortunate when we have really supportive partners. Like my husband prefers me thick, so he's like, have another one because like shit, like the thick of the better, And I was like, Mila, I was like legitimately, up until I was what thirty one thirty, I was like one hundred and ten pounds, so like I've always been really tiny. So like this new body, he's like, okay, so he's not mad in

I'm like, but what about all these clothes.

Like.

You're replacing this ship. Yeah, with my head.

This new body doesn't come with like a check. This will stimulus steck with this new body. Oh my god, right, oh my god, Long Keith, it needs to be a stimulus check for the post post part of body. The fact but that was the hardest piece for me is I can't fit into anything, and not being able to fit and things made me sad. It wasn't that my body made me sad. I couldn't fit into the things

It's a time, but I'm sticking in there.

Okay, we have this one last question and this is a new segment where we're doing and basically it's called Bad Choices. So you know our podcasts Good Mom's Bad Choices, And when we named it bad Choices, it was really a play on word because I think a lot of times people can think would think that, you know, because we smoke weed or you know, we talk about taking time away from your kids so that you can, you know, be a good good to yourself so in.

Turn you be a good mom.

Would be a bad choice, right, So I wanted to ask you, guys, is there anything in your life recently or anything in motherhood. It could be personally, it could be a motherhood or just in life in general, that maybe what is it? A bad was a bad choice that ended up being being good in the long run.

I think my bad choice, I wouldn't consider it a bad choice.

This is gonna sound terrible when I say it, but having a kid.

Was something I wanted to do, but I didn't want to.

Do it right away.

Oh my god, I have the same one, and me and my husband talked about it, but we were like, okay, we're on vacation. When we talked about it, We're like, oh, let's start. Let's start trying for a kid when we get home.

But like, obviously we're on a vacation, we're having a good time.

We just you know, did you get pregnant vacation like me too?

I think I did.

No.

Girl, you had the nony juice to girl, the malie.

But you know, having a daughter was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, and not necessarily like her or herself was the greatest thing that happened to me. But the transformation of me after having her was the best possible outcome in my journey to myself. So I don't regret having.

A baby this suit.

You know, people say it's late because you know I'm past thirty, but honestly, I'm glad I waited and I'm glad it happened when it did.

So I had something.

Similar in that, like my husband and I weren't ready to have a kid when we did because he wasn't working, so he was moved. He moved from Alberta, which is another province in Lantiera in Canada, and he wasn't working at the time. So like, obviously the timing to have the kid wasn't the best choice, but it worked out

I don't like to drink, and I.

Like to wear crop tops and I curse and I'm worried about like how could I be that person? And still be a mom because what I thought motherhood was was the complete antithesis of that.

I'm like gonna worry.

But I think that like in owning that, I feel like I'm not only like a good mom for me, but I also you know, now, especially with building this community, I'm realizing that like other moms are like, oh, thank god.

You know what I mean, so like bigh of relief. And I think that that's so dope.

And I think especially because for Shan and I, like, you know, we love your podcast, it's amazing, But you're American.

There aren't a lot of like young Black.

Canadian moms who are like shooting the shit and being honest about like being mother is the way that we are, especially coming from Caribbean backgrounds that tend to be rigid and tend to be stricter. I'm not saying like no, like we're gonna do motherhood our way. We're gonna, like, you know, let it be what it is. And I think that finding like that voice and giving myself that freedom has been so freeing for us and for so

Yeah, that's so dope.

Amen to that.

Yes, you know, you know we're on board with all of that. Good moms make bad choices night.

Okay, ladies, Well, thank you guys so much for coming on you guys, make sure you go check out while they're not podcast. Can you let them know also where they can find you on social and anything else you want to plug that you have going on or do you want to shareh.

Well, you can find us on Instagram at WTM podcast look out for merch coming soon, Black Moms Matters.

I love that shirt and that was that one day mom oh by mom.

Hey yeah, so you can find that on our Instagram pages. It will be launching really really soon, so just check us out on there.

Dope, dope.

Thank you guys so much, so happy we got to connect.

Thank you for having us. And I mean we have good friends in La, so yeah.

Come on. I'm actually I might need to come out there. I might need to kind a Canadian boyfriend.

I know, I got a nigga, but like he'll understand, we have an adult citizenship.

Yeah, Lissa, you know we're Jamaica.

Men.

I need Jamaican men listening from while they nap podcast Call Eric and I'm I'm part Jamaican.

I just found out and my daughter was conceived there, so technically it's all in the family for something.

Well, you guys know where to find us. We're at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. You can sign up for a newsletter at good Momsbad Choices dot com and of course subscribe to our Patreon for more extra episodes. You have to type into the search bar Patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices because we're explicit, and we have ilicit content and even more explicit content on Patreon,

Apple podcast go all the way to the bottom. All right, ladies, Well you guys, enjoy your the rest of your day and we'll catch you by bye bye.

E solo recorder Lalos. Then let's just say us

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