Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Nila, and it's Wednesday. It's a beautiful day.
It really is a beautiful day. I was outside, like, wow, it's the perfect weather. It's the perfect about of sunshine. Anyway, today I've pulled a card.
Oh wow, you did look at you? Yes, congratulations. Well on the tarot coin of this of the show. You are sex of the show, the tarror of the show. Oh, I don't know what. I don't know where I fit in. I'm just here.
Well, you're not going.
To figure it out. You're the expert. You're the expert of many things.
Okay, today I pulled the Night of Pinnacles, and it signifies hard work, productivity, routine, and conservatism.
Because we're so con conservative. I think maybe like financially maybe like hold, I don't know, read it for me, tarot queen.
Okay, well it is financed.
A lot of the pentacles are money related, got it?
Or material related.
I hope I'm saying this right because someone's going to come for me, fucking bitch telling why. Okay, the Night of Pinnacles, like the Knights of Other Suits, represents work effort, and responsibility that follows upon the dreams and ideals of the page.
This night is the.
Most hardworking, methodical, and detailed oriented character of the Tarot deck. He may not be the most inspiring or creative night, but he'll do the work to get the results he seeks, even if that work is highly repetitive and routine. When this card appears in a tariro reading, you are working methodically towards your goals. You have a plan in place and are striking in your schedule to get the job done. You may not work particularly quickly, but you are consistent, dedicated,
and committed to your goal. But one foot in front of the other and finish the.
Job right, baby.
This card also asks if you continue doing what you were doing, plotting along and making gradual progress, no need to change your approach, go with the flow, stick to your usual routines, and over time you will reach your goals. I agree this sounds like us, baby, It does, girl, because we move in slow, but we be moving.
We be's doing it. You know what, we don't really move slow. We just got too much shit. Okay, yeah, that's true. There's just a lot of shit to be done.
But wow, you envision your goal, to determine the best course of action, and then stick to your path with a methodical and relentless focus.
Okay, well that speaks to us.
I feel like it kind of may speak to our guests today too, because maybe we'll have some insight about why the fuck We have a lot of ideas and a lot of meetings and a lot of little notebooks and papers everywhere, but it takes a really long time sometimes to send three emails.
So without further ado, we love to introduce our guest, Aaron Claire Jones. She is a huge design expert. So welcome to the show.
Erin thank you so much, I'm so happy to be here.
Aaron, tell us why we can't get shit done? We have so many ideas.
Wait before you tell her, I want to say that, like, you know, we're some astrology tearo magical research and ass bitches, and right before we just like the universe always does. Like Erica had just come to me recently and was like, have you heard of human design? And I was like no, And then magically I've been someone else say it to you too, like.
Yeah, my friend a Nishka was like, oh, human design like change my business, Like I got my human design reading and it literally changed the way that I navigate with my staff and just my choices, and it makes so much more sense in how I hire people. So then Aaron reached out and I was like, look at this, Look at God, God just met, look at us, just manifesting guests right and left. A few months ago, we couldn't find any guests this month, boom.
And you know what, I just like to.
Say that we are mediums for the messages that you need to hear. A lot of our guests are come at the perfect time, right in our hands, right in the DMS, right when three other people have mentioned it, and then we can just spread the word and learn together.
So we're podcast mediums. Okay, well that's our introduction with Aaron.
Oh good, I'm so happy to chat with you guys. It feels like the perfect time.
So well, can you tell our listeners what human design is? What is this, where is it derived from? And how do you use it in your life?
Of course? So human design is a system based on your time, date and place of birth that gives you your energetic blueprint. And what I mean by that is how we're each wire to make decisions, work within teams, collaborate, parent partner, all the things. It really just gives us
each our kind of own roadmap. And the idea is that human design pulls from lots of different systems astrology included also the kabala, the eaching chakra system, quantum physics, genetics, biochemistry, all that kind of give us a blueprint to how we operate at our best and I think to how we're designed to best use it is that, I think, more than anything, human design gives us permission to be
who we are. I think we often have spent a lot of our lives trying to build businesses and show up in a way that doesn't really work for us, but it's what we think we should do, and human design kind of reveals this is how you're wired to do it. And I think often when I'm sitting with people, I'm not telling them anything new. I'm just giving them like a language and a framework for things they have always felt but haven't really allowed themselves to step into.
Beautiful. Wow, that's interesting.
Like the time and date of birth that is so close to like your natal chart, your natal reading. I never thought about like how many ways that can translate totally. Yeah, where does this come from? Who came up with this method of reading the stars?
It's a very mystical origin story. It's been around since nineteen eighty seven. The founder is a man named ra Uhuru who he's actually no longer alive, but he basically had a very mystical experience where he was walking home one night and heard a voice and the voice said it's time to work. And so for basically eight days and eight nights he kind of received all this information and then he spent the next twenty years building it out. So it's a channel system, meaning it's just like it
didn't come from him analyzing people. It was very much received. And I think I work with a lot of skeptics, so I just want to kind of preface this by saying, like, take what feels useful, supportive resident like throw the rest away. And I think the more important question to ask yourself is not like is this true, but is it useful?
What do you mean?
You work with a lot of skeptics.
A lot of your clients comes skeptical, like, hey, I don't believe it.
Tell me about it, right that a lot of my individual clients are definitely not skeptical. I also work with a lot of teams, so I think like one kind of like big ambassador will bring me in, But a lot of them are very new to it, you know.
And so you're right that it's not the skeptics that are the ones that are coming, but they're often roped in, and so it's important to kind of know how to language it to them as well, because I think the magic of human design is that even though it feels so cosmic and even though it comes from the stars, the information it offers us is so grounded, so practical, and like just so accessible. So I think that it tends to be accessible even to the most skeptical people.
Got it, Got it?
That's so interesting. How did you come into this?
Like have you always come from a like mystical family and this was just your calling? Or like did you have a strong affinity with astrology?
No? And no not. You know, I love astrology, but like by no means an expert, you know, And it's not like I've really studied it much at all. And my family was not really mystical at all. I think I was always into like different personal development things, even in high school. But I discovered human design, so taranctipitously.
I had been working for a bunch of different startups and kind of a more corporate setting in New York, and I went to a friend's house in twenty fifteen and was in her backyard and sat next to a stranger, and the stranger was like, I would love to share your human design with you. And I was like, I don't know what human design is, but like, tell me everything. And he gave me a little mini reading on the spot, and it was just like the most resonant thing I
had ever heard. And he ended that conversation by saying, I think that you're meant to do this, and I think that we should build a business together. It was just like such a direct and intense invitation, and I didn't say yes immediately, but he started to kind of reveal to me how we could use human design not only individually, but how to kind of help teams work better together, how you can use it in parenting and partnership.
And I had just like, never seen a system as detailed and as practical as this one, and so I went all in. And it's been a real journey. It hasn't been smooth sailing for sure. I think like early on in twenty fifteen, human design was so weird and out there for most people, and so it's really only kind of become more in the mainstream in the past I would say, three years. But it was such a serendipitous, like cosmic introduction to it, for sure.
Yeah, it's so amazing someone that just comes in next to you and be like, let's start a business.
What were you doing before? Let me teach you everything about? What kind of business were you before?
Like very weird?
Yeah, what were you doing before human design?
I was working for a bunch of different startups in New York, kind of in the financial space, but also in the wellness space and in kind of more community
and business development roles. But I think on this side of that work, I was always like I had my Taro Dex with me everywhere I did all kinds of training, so I was like always on this path, but like I never really envisioned doing it for work, And I think human design for me kind of bridge the two where it like satisfied all my desires so like understand ourselves on the deepest level, but also allowed me to come of work not only with people that love the
mystical in the way that I do, but also people that were very skeptical, but it could be really supportive to them as well, because.
I feel like human design feels like, like you said, like it's a ligne for like the person that's kind of a little bit more I don't want to say a realist, because that kind of like makes everything else feel not real, but like someone who is more like needs the facts, like needs to understand like the facts and not just like leave it to the stars, you know.
Yeah, yeah, and also want to do something with it. I feel like there's so many amazing systems out there that give us like juicy information and then we have no idea what to do.
Ye're like, okay, well great with scorpios and rising now what ah exactly?
Yeah, it's so fun. Like I still love that, but I think human design is so cool well that it gives us all the self knowledge, but it also gives us these tools that we can use in our day to day like starting the next day.
So you know, we gave you our do we need to give you our birth dates? Again? No? No, no, I have our birth information and you have run run the test.
Run the system.
You've input us in the systems of the stars and you've gotten some information back data the data systems.
Are you ready to hear?
Ready, let's do it?
Okay, who wants to start Mela?
Okay, we'll have volunteer, right, okay?
Perfect. So, and just for context for people, there are basically five different types than human design, and then underneath the type they are like a bajillion other configuration. So we'll kind of start with the type that start to explore some of the different pieces. And you can look up your design at Aaronclaire Jones dot com slash look up. So MELA is a manifestor and manifestors are about eight to nine percent of the population. So it's like a more rare type.
Oh maybe rare rarity.
So a lot of you always are fine ashtag, We're fine, sorry.
Aron, No, no, perfect okay. So manifestors they're here to be the initiators. They're really here to kind of get things started and get the ball rolling, not always here to do all the doing themselves. You know, they often bring so much powerful energy at the beginning. And so, like I would say, an ideal thing for MILA and this is maybe not. The way that you've operated is like bringing in a new idea to life and then kind of like handing it off and delegating and like
creating space for the next inspiration to come. You know, I would guess that you really thrive when you feel really free and in control, like you're somebody who's not really here to be told what to do or controlled in any way, like here to do things on your own terms and in your own way. And so both personally and in work, it's so important to be surrounded by people that just like really give you freedom and like don't mess with your flow and kind of remind
you how powerful you are. A lot of manifestors I've worked with haven't really felt permission to be as powerful as they are. They've been kind of sitting back and ask me for permission. And so you know, your job is to like step up, initiate, like trust the urges that come within you and kind of know that you're like not for everyone, because no one is, you know, And the more kind of bold and courageous you are and how you express, the more you kind of empower
others to be equally bold. I think in terms of how you structure your day to day. You're somebody who really is meant to work in ebbs and flows, so you likely won't try when you're just like I'm going to be a consistent doer all day long. It's more like I'm going to have a creative burst where I can make a lot happen, whether it's over the course of a couple hours or a couple of days, and then I need to kind of pull back and arrest and take space and then kind of wait for the
next burst to arrive. And there's a lot more to share, but I want to hear your thoughts on this. I think the last piece that I share in this section is just that like you're here to initiate when you feel an urge to make something happen, like your job is to trust it and not look for like confirmation or approval from anyone around you. So how does that all feel to you?
It feels very accurate.
Wow, that's crazy.
I do have a lot of energy in the beginning, and then I can like must rest, and I think I have asked permission to like take up space, and I do, and I do flow best and freedom and not being told what to do and even when I'm told rules, I'm like, am I just like not willing to compromise, or I just I don't want to listen. I don't want to listen. I don't like I just
want to do things at my own pace. And I used to I used to date someone I still live with my baby daddy, and he would like have this thing in the morning.
He would rush me. He was like, let's go let's do this, let's go that, and I was like, I want to lean up.
I wanted to, Like it would irritate the fuck out of me that he was moving so fast and then would get mad, and I was just like, this is really interrupting how I feel the flow the flow, and it just like really irritated me. I thought something was wrong with me, but of course it really resonates with me. And even especially like having energy to start things up. Sometimes I'm like get so frustrated with myself because I'm like, I created this deck and I'm ninety nine percent done.
Why can and I get the one percent done? Why can't I just finish the fucking shit? Why can't I just push some.
On the email? What the fuck is wrong with me?
The other day you were like, I'm so annoyed, Like I cleaned my whole house, I sweeped, and I put all these little piles of dirt in corners and I didn't pick it up, Like why I did everything except complete the fucking task. And she was like, I'm so mad at myself. Why can't I just finish shit.
I am currently in therapy because I'm like, what the fuck is wrong? I like, what is in my childhood that I cannot complete the task?
Wow, it's crazy.
It is. I mean, that's amazing to hear. And I think again, like it's a balance. But I would just say, like workwise, in life, it's really good to have people around you that can like help you finish because again, so much of your energies at the beginning, and so instead of making yourself wrong for that, it's like I can get this thing off the ground, and I'm gonna need you to help me like move it across the finish line.
You know, land it.
Yeah, So it is just and again, human design really helps us know kind of what support we need around us. And it is interesting hearing you talk about kind of like being rushed in the morning, because whenever I'm talking to like somebody who's partnered with a manifestor I always kind of remind them like just like don't get in their way, like let them be in their own flow and do their own thing, and like they'll let you know when they want to kind of be in the
flow with you. But I think in a case like that, I feel like your flow is disrupted from like the first minute you woke up. Like I can imagine it'd be a bit frustrating. Yeah, makes sense, Yeah, for sure.
For sure, I'm happy that human design is giving me permission to like be as wild and large and have outrageous out of the ordinary ideas and I should sit in that and not really listen to anyone else's say so.
And I feel bad about the completion part. You know, just put people in place.
That can complete it, complete it right right. That does help.
It's also going to give you so much more energy for like the beginnings, because I imagine, like you have a lot of energy getting things off the ground, but it takes so much more to actually finish, and so like if somebody else can support you in that, it's going to free up so much energy for like the next thing to come. In terms of kind of knowing which opportunities to pursue. And this is a piece underneath
the manifest or this is how you make decisions. You're not really meant to be super spontaneous and like for
the small decisions. Of course be spontaneous, but you're somebody who's like deeply emotional, and so if you make a decision on like an emotional high, you might kind of wake up the next day and be like, I don't actually want to do that thing, you know, And so I would just say giving yourself like a day or two before you say yes can also help you like sustain your energy a little bit more so, some people are meant to be spontaneous, I would say for you,
even like romantic relationships like courtship, taking your time to feel into things like clarity really comes with time for you.
You hear that, girl, You hear that, my instant girlfriend. We're in love. She's boyfriend. She woke up, she woke up, met him last night, woke up with a boyfriend. Were love.
It was just meant to be. It was are the Stars six months later?
Fuck, it wasn't in the fucking stars. It's at the bars where it was.
Yeah, I do probably need to take that into more consideration. I am spontaneous, but sometimes I do spread myself thin and say yes too often, and then I'm like, oh, why did I do that? Why do I want to say no, I'm such a bitch? Why do I care if anyone thinks I'm a bitch or you are bitch?
You know?
I like Erica, be like, be more like Erica? Care less, I know, not doing it. I changed my mind then.
I like, harp on it.
I'm trying to be more like you. You're trying to be more like me?
Can I change my mind?
Like five minutes before, Like sorry, I should have told you two days ago, and I knew I didn't want to do it, but now I can't.
I'm gonna lie so I can get onto it.
It's not easy to honor because it can be annoying to wait, you know what I mean, especially when you have like this powerful energy to make things happen. And I have the same thing in my design, so I
know it well. But I think the lesson for me has been like it's almost always worth it because like, even though it's annoying, it's just like then I commit to things from like such a more wholehearted place where I'm like, yes, I'm in I can do this, Whereas like if it's spontaneous, I'm like yes and then no, and then it's just like there's an uncertainty that kind of persists.
So when I think about it, I think about it forever.
I'm thinking I'm getting anxiety over this ship for three days, like, bitch, just say no.
I feel like a manifestor probably has to work really hard to not be spontaneous because they get that like surge of energy, surge of idea, surge of inspiration that like the spontaneity feels like part of it and really natural to you when you have to really like take a step back and be like Oda.
You know how many best friends I've met at a bathroom party?
Hundred.
I'm gonna call you tomorrow.
Tomorrow, we're gonna talk about this. No, tomorrow, we're gonna go out to eat. We're gonna talk about.
So many, so many random pictures in my phone. Who the fuck is this? It's your best friend time.
Oh my god. And the thing is one thing is not all manifestors have to wait. Some can actually be spontaneous. Let's just got a piece of me Let's design where actually you have to wait. And again, you can do whatever you want, but you just might be a bit more regretful if you don't.
You know, I'm going to take that advice I should wait because then I want to be doing that.
Okay, I'm going to share two more pieces and then go over to Erica. And again, there's so much more, but just to give you guys a little bit of a taste to start. So another piece for you, and I love this just because of your relationship, is that, like so many of your opportunities are meant to come from like your friends and your community and the people that you know, and so it's so much more natural for you to work with your friends than it is
to work with strangers, you know. And also when it comes to dating, it's really important like a foundation of friendship with the people that you date, and it's probably more natural for you to like date somebody that was like introduced you through a friend, was a friend first, you know. So it just like your community is such
a well of opportunity for you. So I would just say in general, like really investing in your relationships is key, and working with those that you really desire to be friends with I do that anyway.
I am like a friend lover. I will work on my friendships with my friend all the time. I receive that I and even us in our business everything is we find that business works best in our community, in our tribe with our friends, Like how do we keep it and flow together without stuffing outside?
We don't know those people.
Totally. And then one other big piece for you and your design is that we all have areas that we're kind of meant to work on. And these are areas that can be both challenging but also like really amazing places where we can be wise and teach other people. But one of the big lessons for you is run
your identity. You or somebody who has a very fluid sense of identity, which means like how you want to express now might be different than how you wanted to express six months ago or a year or ten years ago.
Like you're kind of meant to wear many different hats over the course of your life, and you're not really here to like figure out your one purpose and stick with it, but rather we're kind of like honoring whatever feels authentic to you and kind of giving yourself permission to like shift and evolve and reinvent yourself when it's time. And so I would say the biggest question to ask yourself is never like who am I and what am
I here to do with my life? But rather like what feels like the most authentic expression of me right now? And how can I lean so fully into that? How does that feel? Do you feel that flexibility within yourself?
Yeah?
Yeah, I probably have like eight purposes in this lifetime that will manifest in different like ways, Like I can feel that I like a trade here, a certification there.
Wait, what was the question that you should ask yourself?
The question is not about like who am I and what am I here to do with my life? But rather like what feels like the most me right now?
What feels like the most to you right now?
What feels like the most me right now is just really tapping into just my natural god given talents, which are like connecting people, creating community, making people feel like powerful and warm and fuzzy inside. I've noticed like that's what I'm good at, That's what makes.
Me feel good.
Actually, Like sometimes I notice I'm challenging people and I'm like, why the fuck am I just doing that, and I'm like, because I feel like they're right there and they need to be like cracked open a little bit, and then I have the ability to do that. Or sometimes people need to feel I feel I find people and I feel like they need love, they really need to feel supported,
and I feel like good with doing that. I feel good with pouring into people, and like sometimes I can sense where people need to hear certain shit, like you know, like I don't know, I can just do that, and
that's what I like to do. And I just feel like right now on this like wellness journey, I've realized that in doing that, I have to actually do that for myself and like go to therapy and tend to myself and have those those thoughts about you know, and so I'm able to pour into other people and like even starting doing this retreat just how I can show up as my best self so I can give to my community and like also not questioning whether you need
like some kind of like certification and just honoring who I am energetically and who I'm innately born to be. And like even as we're I'm like discussing going to like these tantric certifications because like I've felt that in my spirit anyway, and then our astrologists like added to that.
But then I'm thinking back in my catalog of like threesomes and like how I've been and so tentative and like emotionally present for people and like guided them and not even really necessarily had to participate.
But like you're little like maybe slow down a little bit. I'm like, oh my god, bit, this is what you're born to do.
You've been doing this, but like just taking away the thought that I need all these like he's like, yeah, schooling to just be in tune with what my natural healing powers are to do.
Does that answer your question?
That's where I'm at right now.
Yep.
Basically you're meant to heal people, bring them together, and bust them open. Yeah, I'm a love bomber.
Which is so funny because like the you know, we all have basically like the purpose in your design, one of the kind of big purposes is around healing and just kind of this like innocence you bring to your relationships and this ability to kind of just like shift people out of like an old way of doing things into like something entirely new and like you do have a provocative energy. You're kind of meant to provoke people, you know, because it's just like you're meant to like
provoke them into what's next for them. So I love that you're like naturally doing that. And you're also somebody who's so deeply sensitive to people, like you just feel so much of their stuff, and like it makes you such an amazing guide for other people because you can like sense where they are and kind of like provoke
them accordingly. But it also means that you need so much space and time alone to be in your own space just as a way to kind of like disconnect from what's not yours and reset to it and kind of reconnect to it is.
Yeah, that's where I'm at right now, just learning to reset because sometimes I'm very plugged in and I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me?
Sit the fuck down?
Yeah, and some and one of the biggest and then women to Erica, one of your biggest shadows is like not knowing when to stop and not knowing when enough is enough so you can just like keep going and going and going. So it's like no draw boundary for both of you knowing when to draw a boundary and pull back.
I know, I know, I know, thank God though, thank God, thank God.
But I'm like that, yeah, I mean, I mean, no, you're gonna find balance, but like.
Me over here.
I know, but I'm over here, like pushing your boundaries when like they shouldn't be. I'm like, lock, we must fit in good. I'm day twenty four hour days.
Neither of you are meant to do.
Nails like my flow, and I'm like, I'm flowing too, but I'm also working and I can't stop.
I'm sleep stop texting me like.
Hey, it's twelve a m. Did you see that email? He just fun they're asleep, but who cares? Yeah, well I need it.
And the very last piece that I'd share for you, Mila for now is that I don't know whether you know, take this or leave this, But because you're so sensitive, like if you were to live with a partner in the future, I don't know if you are right now, I would actually recommend having your own sleeping space, you know, and like it's just because you're and again, take it or leave it. I know some people are like I want to sit with my partner, and I'm so supportive
of people doing what they want. But because you're so sensitive, like having your own space, it kind of just like reset and recharge could be really restorative for you. And there's obviously, like so much stigma around it. But and I know it's not always feasible either.
But if you're on my have my own apartment, I love it.
I was literally who was I talking yesterday? I was saying that I feel like, like, when I get my next home and I have a partner, like we need to have separate rooms, not that we're gonna sleep separately all the time, but that we have our own rooms. And actually my homegirl did that with her boyfriend she had. She was so cute, like she decorated her room the way that she wanted to to be decorated. It was
fucking girly. And then he had his own shit and then they would come together when they felt like it.
I made it.
I met h married a couple like that once and I went to the house and not only that, like men weren't allowed to go in the room at all, Like you were not allowed to enter the room in that room or the bathroom, no men we could enter it.
I was like, Wow, this is smart and I.
Think that's another reason that's important to have like multiple properties. I know we want to have like multiple houses that it's like, Nigga, you need to go.
To New York.
Get the fuck out my face.
I'm going to I'm going over here. I'm going to Costa Rica. See you in a month. Let me miss you a little bit. Shit, it's so healthy.
And my husband and I have separate bedrooms and I think it's the best thing in the whole world.
But do you sleep separately every night or something?
It's probably half and half, but it just like Erica said, it's like our default is like on our own when we kind of have our own schedules and then we just like choose when to sleep together. And we love sleeping together. It's just like I think that we know the power of being in our own space too. And we literally have like the same beds and all the things, so it's like both of our bedrooms are equally appealing. But I think it's just like it's nice to choose.
And just like Erica said, we are like decorated very differently. We're super different. So just like honors that. So I like to bring it up because I think it's so healthy for relationships, but I think there's so much taboo around it. Okay, Erica, are you ready?
I'm ready tell me.
Okay, so Erica is a projector, which is about twenty percent of the population. So you two are like some of the more rare.
Types and we're hashtag where dulo so Erica.
You are a projector in human design, and it basically means that you are also not designed to be like a consistent doer and builder and creator. And I know it's probably very tempting to try to be that, but you are much better suited to be like the leader,
a guide, a visionairey. You're so good at like asking the questions and kind of like guiding people and teams and communities and so so much of your work is learning how to honor the ebbs and flows of your energy and not trying to do do do all day long, and also knowing that there's so much value you bring
to the world that's beyond how much you do. Like your perspective and how you see things and how sensitive you are to others is so valuable, you know, So if there are spaces where you feel like that's really recognized and valued. I would definitely invest more energy there. Often projectors make very natural coaches, therapists, podcasts, host guides, CEOs, managers like roles where they're like asking questions and not
required to kind of do all the doing themselves. And this strategy for projectors, it's the kind of wait to be recognized and invited in. It's because you have such a kind of powerful perspective and way of seeing things. It's really important to both collaborate and kind of be intimate with people that like deeply see you, value you, and recognize you. So you're like not trying to be a doer or something other than what you are. How does that all feel to you?
I think that's true. I think I do need to be invited in. I think that like when I feel like I have to show up or like like push my way in, it like triggers like insecurity in me, like am I supposed to be here? Like is this okay? Like I'd much rather be invited in and my ideas be invited in in that way it allows me to feel a lot more confident and secure in expressing my ideas and like leading. And I definitely I definitely feel like especially in this business with Mila, Like I have
like honed like my leadership skills, there's still more. I feel like I'm still I'm a very like I'm a learning leader, learning how to lead from a positive way, in a positive way without feeling overbearing, because I know that I can be overbearing because I am like there is something in me, like I know, like you said, like I'm not meant to like work work work, but I don't. I don't know if it's because of like just seeing my That's how my family has always operated.
That's how all the women in my family have always operated. Just it's they're always doing something. My grandmother worked until like she they like had to fire her, like they had to like they had to like tell her go home, Like you are eighty, you can't do interior design anymore. Woman like and and my mom too, Like they're just workhorses essentially, and like and I'm in that way. I'm that way, I think by just default. But I know that it's not the healthiest for me. I know that
it's triggering for me. It causes me anxiety, it causes me to break down, like I become kind of useless. My ideas become shitty, I become really indecisive and I can't make decisions and I'm just like I don't know, I don't know. Someone do it for me.
I don't know, I don't know.
So yeah, that does speak to me.
That's yeah, Oh, do you hear something more to say? It says to have power reflection because one, like, you know, I'm talking about the fact that you two are more rare types, but like most people are like doers, you know, they really have this like creative energy like make things happen, and like unless they use up their energy during the day,
they can like feel really frustrated. And so we're in a world of a lot of that, and so where all three of us can get tripped up as if we try to keep up with that, you know, And so Eric, it's so not it's so not abnormal hearing that, like your biggest potential shadow, like I said, is not knowing what enough is enough, It's not knowing when to stop. It's just like I'm gonna just keep going and going and push through my tiredness and just get more done.
But like why your reflection was so potent is that like the more you do that, the less available you make yourself for your gifts. Like when you actually honor the ebbs and flows of your energy and take rest when you need it, you are so much more creative, so much more insightful, so much more successful. And so it is this real lesson that like the more you take rest and the more you take care of yourself,
like the better you'll be. Because like you've got actually such powerful ideas and you're really here to like share them with the world. But like if you're super over zealous and exhausted, you don't have access to them. And you also, like you said, don't have access to kind
of your clear decision making. Because the way that you're meant to make decisions and keep a design, and this is a layer underneath the projector this isn't true for all projectors, is that you're meant to be very spontaneous, like actually the opposite of Mila, Like you're meant to
be super like intuitive and fast and quick. But like your intuition is probably very quiet, and so unless you're actually like creating a real connection to it and like listening to it, it's going to be really hard to hear it. And so I think the more you take rest and take space for yourself and are alone and can connect to it, the kind of faster and more effective your decisions will be. H How does that feel?
It feels accurate because I feel like when I have not been spontaneous, I have regretted it. When I've sat on something and overthought it and not just done the thing and questioned my like gut reaction, that's when I'm like, fuck, I knew it, like I knew I should have just done that. I knew I should have just said that.
I knew that person. I knew that person. Mm hm, you know, like and you know, letting other people like Erica, well maybe or like give it time or that's what my mom always spend time time.
I'm like, no, Mom, like I feel it.
I've always I think, and I think especially I think this is really interesting as parents too, because parents project onto their children what what they think is best or what worked for them, and that doesn't always work for your kids. And so I think with my mom, I'm actually interested to know what kind of is what our human design is, because she's always told me that I'm too spontaneous that I'm like, I'm do this. I need I need to like take more time and do this.
And I've always felt like want myself wanting to rebel against that, but also like, Okay, well maybe she's right, Like maybe I should like just wait on it. Maybe I should just and any And I don't want to say like every time she's been wrong, because my mom has been right a lot. She's a super intelligent woman. But there's been times where I'm like, no, I'm so glad I didn't fucking listen to you, Like this is
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like under the whole other shit. I had to go to therapyfore, but and I just quit and the immediately and then immediately when I quit, I started booking, like I started booking commercials, I started working immediately, and like I was, like, I'm so glad I did this. When I followed my intuition and I just did it, the
results were so much greater. Like I don't know, like I think we're told that we must plan ahead, and that sounds like the right thing to do, but hearing that, like trusting my intuition being spontaneous, like it's never really done me wrong. In fact, the opposite.
Has Yeah, Because also I imagine if you like sleep on it, then you start to doubt it, and it's just like and then it just becomes the cycle. Like for you, clarity comes in the moment and the work
is to trust it. And it's so powerful what you shared about your mom, because like she might be wired really differently and so like she might need to take her time, or she might need to talk things out, and like this is why I'm such an advocate of using human design and like parenting and family stuff, because like when you are expecting your kids or your team or your partner to be like you, it's super disappointing.
But if you really like honored the fact that they're wired really differently, it can be so much more inflow, right, Okay, so let me share a few other pieces about you, Erica. So one piece, you know, I know that I mentioned that you operate in ebbs and flows, but you actually got such efficiency in your design, and it basically means that you're meant to do more in a couple hours than most people can in a whole day, you know.
And so the more you kind of take rest when you need it, the more like efficient and fast you can be. And so I would to play with this if you feel inspired, like really like taking breaks throughout the day and like honoring the ebbs and flows, and I have to imagine that you'd actually be so much more effective. Have you noticed that efficiency within yourself? Like do you think you really tapped into that?
Yes? And actually yesterday me and Mila are writing a book. And so yesterday, you know, I haven't had my kid. I haven't had my kid for the past two days. I woke up, I wrote a little bit, I went and drank, jumped down the trampoline, came back, wrote a lot, came back, went and went for a walk, came back, wrote a lot. Then my computer crashed, lost all of it.
That was fine, came back, wrote it again. But I noticed that, like taking those breaks were so helpful for me, Like whereas typically like I will just go straight through, like I will just keep going, going, going, going, I feel like I cannot take a break, and I've really
had to talk. I've done. I've been doing a lot of like talking out loud to myself because I have a lot of negative inner like self talk that I do that I didn't even I don't even realize I'm doing it because it's just so I'm just programmed to do it. I don't even hear it, like unless I really stop and listen that I'm literally talking shit all day. So I will I'll have to like I'll be like, no, stop that, and I'll talk out some talking to myself.
I'm literally been having so many conversations out loud, bitch like talking to myself, responding to myself like it looks it looks, it looks crazy, but it's really helpful for me. And just like being like girl, you sent like forty two emails today, Okay, like why the fuck are you beating yourself up? You sent in a design, you wrote a chapter, fucking sent out emails, you didn't recorded an episode, had a business call. How much more do you think
that you need to do in order to feel accomplished today? Like, I've really had to like have those conversations with myself because I I will just keep going, going, going and still feel like I didn't get enough done, and I have had to like take these breaks. Yesterday was a good example of that, and I was like, damn, Like, this is how I have to I literally had that talk with myself. I was like, this is how you're meant to work. You gotta go jump on the trampoline, bitch,
go get on that trampoline. Why is it out there? It's not just you know, you didn't just get that for iri. Jump it. So I agree with that, and I'm feeling more I'm feeling like I can, like I feel more confident in that more recently. Yeah.
So yes, I love that because I think that often when we are doing like or just aware of ourselves and paying attention, like we tend to like start to live our design very naturally, you know, and then human design just validates it. But I think that we often again we're just trained to be all these things that were not and like not to trust our intuition, not
to honyrebs and flows. Another big one for you, Eric, and I'm curious, but it is related to all to the negative self talk, is that like you've got this like insatiable energy and you're design to just like perfect
and improve and make things better. It means that you can look at anything and know exactly what could be fixed or improved, whether that's like your home or someone's behavior or podcast episode or whatever, and like, so much of your work is to not turn that kind of critical energy inwards on yourself and finding fault with yourself and those close to you, but rather kind of having the right outlets in your life where you can just
like be improving and correcting and refining things because you're so good at it. But it's not really meant to be you, to make you wrong, but more to kind of be of service to the world. That makes sense.
Yeah, No, I think I think I have turned that into my negative self talk instead of using it in a way that's positive. It's more like you didn't fix this, you missed that, you didn't do that. So yeah, for sure.
And I think Mila, one area where you can really support Erica and knowing that she's a projector, it's just like making her feel really recognized and seen, being like I love the way that you saw this. I love the way that you did this, like just really kind of like words of affirmation when you're inspired, you know, I think that that often can fuel us as projectors.
One area that's really interesting in relationship is that Erica, you're like a hyper EmPATH in your design, like so sensitive to other people's feelings, Like if somebody's feeling something,
you might feel it really intensely within yourself. I don't know whether this is the thing that you're aware of or not, but so much of your work is around having strong boundaries and like knowing that not everything you feel is your own, whereas Mela, like, you know, you're so sensitive in general in your design, but you actually have these like powerful emotions that you project out into the world. And so when you're like in a good mood and feeling good, it's like so infectious and it
probably feels like amazing to be around. But like when you're in like an emotional low, like that's probably also felt. And so I would just say in the relationship, but something to be aware of. Like I would say, Meila, if you're like in a low probably a good time to like be in your own space and do your
own thing, you know. And if Erica, if you ever feel overwhelmed by emotions, whether it's Mela or just like literally anyone around you, I would just like take some space to kind of pull away and be in your own energy in space. Do you guys feel that dynamic at all?
Yeah? I feel like my is this my shoe? I feel like my energy is really intense and I don't mean it to be, but I can't help it. And then it affects the whole space. And then everyone is like, what's wrong with Erica? And I'm like, just leave me the funk along, Like I just want to sit here. Just let me sit here and be in my ship. You guys carry.
On doing, everyone carry on, so see us.
I'm a bitch right now. God just let me be bitchy. But then I had to be like, you know what, you probably just got to go, got to just get out of here. And then with Mela, it's true, people love to be around Mila because she is such like as like and she she's you're a positive person, overall, but when you are when there is something wrong, like I can tell probably very fast.
Yeah, And.
Because the light is so bright around her and she's such an attractor. That and that, and that's why people love to be around you. That's why people call you a one am. We want to come over, you know, all different types of people, not like just dudes, like girlfriends, Like hey, I'm in the neighborhood, like where if people no, don't call me one and I'm not answering. In fact, I'm going to curse you out.
Sure, come over, I would say one other piece, like when it just comes and we can look at your
daughters if you want to. But I think, like when it comes to your team and support, Like I think because like Erica, you're such a natural leader and guide and merely you're such an amazing like initiator and innovator, Like it really would probably be good to have people around that like can really just like do and sustain that and like are really dependable because for both of you, like your energy ebbs and flows, and you guys bring extraordinary gifts to the teams. But it's not to a team.
But it's not always like your ability to just like consistently make things happen. And so I think that if you were to hire bring on support, that probably would be really good to have around you.
So basically we need to add what's your birthday in time of birth to every single person that ever applies to application.
Wait, can you tell us what what are all of the different Yeah? Different types.
So the types that we haven't talked about are generators, manifesting generators, and reflectors. And so the majority of the population are generators and manifesting generators. This in no way means that you're not unique if you're one of these types. Like, these types are just so necessary and again it's just the first piece. It just means that you have such creative energy to just like build, create, make things happen.
When these people are like kind of lit up and satisfied by what they're doing, they have so much energy they kind of uplift the energy to everyone around them. Then they really just have such a beautiful ability to kind of bring ideas to life.
That's the manifestor generators and the generators.
Correct, Okay, and so and I believe Mela, your daughter is a manifesting generator. And then reflectors are the rarest type one person. And these people kind of are collective mirrors, people that are kind of taking in and mirroring back the space that they're in. So you really get a good sense of how people are doing, our families doing just by how that person is showing up. And so they've got to be just like such ruthless curators, the kind of the people are spending time with and the
places they're spending time in. Should we talk a little bit, Oh, go ahead, Eric.
Right, I have a question so in our in our partnership, as you know, business owners, what would so out of all those what do we need?
What do we what do we need? What do we need to hire?
Do we need a generator? Do we need a manifestor generator, we need reflector like totally it's going to complete the circle.
Yes, And I'm always know it's a jar, right. I'm always like a little bit hesitant because obviously don't want to hire purely based on type, you know, and you're going to be attracted to somebody who's different, but I think that like you'll get a sense that they bring something that you don't have. So I'm always a little bit hesitant to say, like just higher based on type. Obviously, it's way beyond that, and there's so much beyond type that we'll kind of talk about that will reveal how
you can kind of best be supported by people. But I think in general, it probably would be nice to have some generator or manifesting generator energy around you, you know, because again that's kind of and honestly, most teams that I work with are primarily those types, you know, and then you have like a projector a manifestor, so it is kind of really nice to have some of that
kind of as a foundational energy. I'm a projector like Eric, my partner is a generator, and it's a nice balance, so I would say, and you'll probably feel that when you have people around you that you're like, I can really remind you and there's so little by what they're doing and it gives us energy because they're so excited by it. But I think that would probably be really good.
I need to get all of everyone on our team's birthday end.
Time on birthday, Yeah, like what are you doing? Who are you?
David's definitely a generator or a manifestor generator.
He's for sure for sure. Yeah, I think may might be a manifestor Yeah, she's really good at that beginning, She's like she might be a manifestor generator. Yeah, now we're expert. I'm an expert. Sorry, not one one episode, one convo. Now I know it all.
It's so fun guessing though, Like and I'm not always right either, but you can really start to feel these things, you know, And so I always love being like you're this, maybe this is happening. Do you guys want to hear a little bit about your kids? Yeah, okay, we'll just do like a little bit just to give y'all a taste. So, okay, let's start with Luna. So Luna's a manifesting generator, and so I'll just orient this kind of around parenting specifically.
I would say like manifesting generators, like in specifically Luna have like so much like charisma and energy and power, and like when they're lit up by what they're doing, it's so magnetic and I feel so good to be around them. I think a big thing for you to know, Mela is that, like manifesting generators aren't really meant to enough sick one like choose one thing and just stick to it, like they often thrive when they can try
on lots of different things. And so I would never make her wrong for like quitting or moving on from something, but really giving her permission to just like try it all and know that like trying on and letting go things, letting go of things is part of her process. Do you see that at all yet in her?
Yeah, she likes a lot of things, And yeah, like I see that I can't.
Push her to do what she doesn't want to do.
She's very clear about what she wants to do what she doesn't want to do, and like I can nunt her, but like the more I nutu her, the more she resists. So I do see that she is someone to let be do how she wants to, you know, dabble in it all.
And she works well with like a lot of encouragement.
If she feels good and empowered she does, she feels like I can feel that energy. Whereas she doesn't feel empowered or like she's good at it, she kind of.
Can give up mm hmm. And she's also just like meant to be natural what she does. Like she's just meant to do the things that feel like easy and natural and really kind of feel and flow to her. So if you notice things that are really coming easily and naturally, I would definitely like help invest more and help her invest more in those things. And she's somebody who's a really strong gut feeling, and so if you're trying to communicate with her, sometimes it could be good
to give her options. Instead of being like, hey, Luna, like what do you want to do today, I'd be like, Luna, like, do you want to go out here? Or do this? Like do you want to do this or this? And you might find that like when you pose really specific questions, she might be like yep, nope, yep, nope. You know, so kind of really just like honoring that and helping her kind of connect to that gut feeling. She's also
quite a bargainer. I don't know if you notice that at all, but like she really like brings a lot of like heart to whatever it is that she does, but it feels like she needs to kind of receive in return, you know, So it's good to have like reciprocity to feel like she's giving so much and feeling so appreciated. And so I love what you said about encouragement.
I would just kind of really encourage and honor and kind of make sure she feels really just like appreciate it and valued in whatever it is she's doing okay, And do you have any specific questions about her? I would say one of the pieces, she's super sensitive, like the two of you, like, super sensitive to her physical space. So I would also always just keep an eye on, like how her space feels, like do classrooms feel okay? Does her bedroom feel okay? Like does the home feel okay?
Like if you go to hotel, does the hotel feel okay?
Like?
She takes in so much in her space and making sure the space itself feels really good for her.
How do you feel about this space?
Do you like it? It fee doesn't make you feel good?
Yeah?
How do you like your room? We change something or you like it just like this? Yeah, it's interesting. We had a reading done with on our kids, and that's one of those One of the things that you said right now just stood out to me about Luna because she said that Luna will try a lot. It's going to want to try a lot of things in her life, Like she needs to try a lot of things that it's going to be it might feel difficult to kind of pin her down to one thing.
Yeah, and she's not meant to just do one thing. Is probably gonna feel really limited and combined in that case, because there's so many parts of her that will want to be expressed. And so again, like, however, you can
support her and just like doing that and honoring that. Honestly, a lot of manifesting generators I worked with, like adult manifesting generators have been like made it feel like scattered or like they're doing too much, and so they've kind of made themselves wrong for being multi passionate when they're actually meant to be so multipass passionate exactly. So like, however, you could support her and like really giving herself that permission from early on the better, and she's fast go ahead.
How to manifest your generators? Like, because they want to try so many things, do they ever master anything?
Like they often master things very quickly. They can like go deep in and like and also they might like master one thing and just express it that thing in multiple ways throughout their life. But like it is very normal for them to try a thing, go deep in it, be amazing at it, and then move on like yeah, yeah, it's just all about like honoring where their energy wants to go and not seeing that as scattered or selfish, but as the thing that kind of ends up allowing
them to have the most positive impact in the world. Okay, let's talk about Irie. Am I saying that right? M h Yeah. So Irie is a projector like you, Erica, So it's nice to have that in the family. So in the same way that I told Mela to like really recognize you and value you, I would do the same for Iri, like just really like noticing what they do really well, like kind of their perspective and really inviting it in and just like reminding her of like
all the things that you see. Her energy, like yours, is meant to eb and flow, and so like you know, really giving both of you permission to take rest and space when you can. She's not meant to be quite as spontaneous as you, Like, she often needs to kind of sleep on things and feel into things, and you're probably so sensitive to her feelings and so like I would just like not pressure her to make decisions more
quickly than feels natural to her. And she's such a dreamer, like in her design, I don't know whether she's conscious of but conscious of it. But she's really good at kind of like dreaming about all the things that are possible, and she might be like a little bit restless for like newness and new experiences, but again, it's good to kind of take her time to like sleep on things and feel into things to kind of really know what's
there for her. She needs out of freedom in her her design, Like she might be like a little bit trapped or confine if she's in the same environment with the same person all day every day. So I think it's going to support her and like moving her energy about going for walks, going to the park, to kind of just be simmered in like lots of new and different ways. Do you notice any of this stuff in her?
Yeah, I mean I would say that she does not like to make decisions quickly. She definitely needs her time, and like I think that's sometimes where we kind of like clash a little bit, where I'm like, just come on, it's my decision, and she's like so slow, yeah, And I'm like, why are you so slow, darling? But I definitely feel like she me and her are in it's very obviously to my daughter, but like I feel that that kind of like she likes to take control, she
likes to lead. She's still like learning how to feel
really empowered in that space. She definitely you know, I sometimes I see it's so interesting being a parent when you see like your kids like little insecurities or like how they like compare themselves to like their their their friends, like even like our daughters their best friends, but you know, and their strengths are different, you know, and they start comparing one another when like Luna is like a really great dancer, my daughter, you know, she's like more like
interpretive dance. She's kind of like modern dance. Luna's more like TikTok, you know, freestyle like Missy Elliott dance. And so sometimes I'll see my daughter like look at Luna, like and she gets like a little nervous and she's like I don't want to do it never mind, you know, And so like seeing her, you know, acknowledged maybe some of her little weaknesses, but like she doesn't give up.
She's very like driven, she's very competitive. She wants to be the best, and but she's will to work at it. She's willing to take her time and work at it. And words of affirmation are really important to her. Yeah, and I love to give them to her, so it's easy for me to do that. But yeah, I would say that those things do they sound like her?
Yeah? And go ahead, no, go ahead. I was just going to say. One of her biggest lessons in her design is just like knowing that she's not here to prove herself, like her self esteemed convaclate, where she might have one day she's like, I'm the best and the
next day she's like, but am I really? And like, you know, and this might not be a lesson she learns now at six, but I think just like in general that like, you know, she's really meant to like do what she feels recognized in and what she feels inspired to do, and like not do things just to prove her value and proof her worth. And so it's just like a thing to be aware of ericas like kind of watching when that's the motivation and kind of
reminding her that there's nothing to prove, you know. So that will be a lesson over life and probably a lifelong one.
Yeah, I feel like that is a lesson over life. I feel that now already it's like her feelings she has to prove this, improve that, and I'm like, girl, like no, and it's like I don't know. That's like what's so hard about being a parent. It's like you can tell your kids all the things, you can say, the things you can think, they're so amazing, but like that doesn't mean that that's what's gonna Like that's what's
gonna I don't know stick with them, you know. And it's like I think about even my mom, like, you know, trying to empower me as a kid when I felt insecure and I didn't care, Like I was just like that doesn't make me change how I feel, right, And like as a parent, You're like why I wanted to please? You're so amazing, you don't have shit to prove. Like so I guess that is something that I definitely feel like it's going it's going to be like a lifelong thing.
But I think maybe just really empowering her and the things that she's really good at. Like the other day, our daughters play soccer together, and soccer's over, so she was like, what are we gonna do next? Like what am I doing next? Like she's ready to like fill that spot that's like missing, and I'm like okay with chill.
She's like, well, I want to do dance. And I was like, what about because my daughter, like she's kind of she she likes to act, but I've feel like a little bit hesitant about acting because I've been acting my whole life and it's a source for me of like some of my insecurity because I started doing it as a child. You start comparing yourself to other people. But I was like, you know, let me not like put my shit on her, you know, like, let me not assume that she's going to become this or that.
So I was like, I'm going to let her do it. And I was like, just got to start with class and like, let me empower her because she really wants to do it. So I'm excited for her to kind of do that and get feel empowered and do good at that and feel like she doesn't really have anything to prove. It's just because she's working at it and it feels good to her and it feels natural to her.
Totally, yes, and again she I just like noticing those things and supporting her in that. And one other thing I would just say that came up when you said that, like the soccer finished and you want to do the next thing. Like she's got the same lesson as you of like not knowing enough is enough where it's just like I've got to just feel the space and do
more and never stop. And so like I think you learning that lesson and giving yourself more space and rest will give her permission to do that kind of as well. But just knowing that, you know, and just be like, do you really have the energy you're super excited about acting like, if so, let's do it. But not just because you need to fill the space, right, So if you have any questions about her, I love that you're
both projectors and I yeah, sorry. One last weeks that I would share is that she's got the same need as Mela does in terms of just like community and network and people, and so I think really kind of paying attention to her friends, and I think ideally she has friends that really recognize her and value her, like I think that Luna seems to do so well, and just like as she grows older, like and maybe you have this already having like a really a real foundation
of friendship with her, you know, like I think just like she really like is meant to have like deep relationships and so many of her opportunities come to the people that she knows, so just kind of keeping an eye on and really kind of supporting her and developing a really nice community.
It's funny you say that because me and me, like I've been feeling more and more and now she's six, and like I'm seeing like all these moms at school, they're so like good about connecting the kids, and like, I'm like, I got to be better at this because we went to a little girl's birthday party and I just saw my daughter just thriving with all of her friends, and I'm like, I have to do better at like making sure that she like it's my job to like
help her foster relationships outside of school, you know, not just like Okay, school's done. Now we're done, and like that's the only time that you get to see your friends. Like how do I bring like kind of curate her tribe in a way, like Okay, yeah, we let's not hang out with that little girl. Oh wow, I don't think that's your friend, girl, but I like that one.
Let's bring her over, you know, and like kind of cultivating like these safe spaces with her friends and like that's kind of what's really cool about being a parent too, is that kind of like that's that's a really big responsibility, but it's but it's fun. And I think she also kind of knows what feels good, you know, like she's gonna know like who she wants to hang out with and who makes her feel good.
Yeah, And I would even ask her like do you feel really recognized by them? Like do you feel really seen by them?
You know?
I think that as projectors, like that's what fuels us feeling recognized and seen, So it could be useful to have those conversations.
This is so interesting, like we I mean, even for Erica and I to like have a better insight on how to better like be business partners, how to better support each other and empower each other, like what expectations to have with one another, which obviously over time we've kind of developed a little bit, but like still like even to extend it to our children, and like we're also like a family unit and we're all so very different.
We're obviously also very fucking hyper sensitive and EmPATH you know, and it's just like we're always always all feeling each other and it's so fucking intense because we're already already like a bunch of women and even little women, and just like seeing how they thrive together and how they interact together, and how they argue and fight and then like how they make up and like, oh, it's just such an interesting dynamic, And like what a gift to be able to give have the tools to kind of
be able to see people as they are and like their primal innate setting, because sometimes I.
Think it is we are.
There's so much comparison, there's so many things like I should be more driven, I should finish more things. I should be doing it quicker. I should be here, I should be there, Like look at how she dances, you know. Like the other day, Lynda said to me talking about someone at school, like so and so so smart, she never gets anything wrong. So I was like, you're gonna get things wrong, Like that's how you learn. She's like so and so never gets anything wrong. She's the smartest
girl in the class. I never thought i'd hear my kids say the smartest girl in the class.
What the fuck?
And I'm like, you're smart, and like everyone has different things that they're good at. But just like the way we as parents can quiet those you know, those naturally competitive parts of us that come up, those naturally like those images that we're gonna like see or get flooded to our kids all the time. Like we're just it's so interesting to be able to to like conduct our little unit better.
I know.
We were in Costa Rica one time, I mean this last time, and we were at dinner and we're like playing truth or Dare and then it got emotional, like all four of us.
They got like we got into an argument. Oh yeah, it's the food thing.
It was I fool, like I really didn't want to eat, and then Eric she got an attitude with Erica, and then Erica was like.
You've had a really good trip.
And then Luna tried to like defend Erica and yeah, Luna was like like trying to support me and like kind of like tell Iri like, yeah, you need to eat, Like why don't you ever eat what your mom gives you?
And then you don't eat ever?
And then Iri got sensitive that she said something to Luna, and then Luna got sensitive and then they.
Started crying, and then I started crying, and they were all crying, fucking.
Crying, ass emotional ass women and Costa Rica in the rain and I at a dinner table. At a dinner table, people were looking at us like, what the hell is going on?
Oh my god, I have a question, like so what and what? Like you you said, how basically Mila can like help support me? Yeah, how can I support like my manifesting friend, And then how can Luna support my projecting ass daughter? And then how can my projector help my little manifestor generator.
So in terms of how you can support Mela is like, Mela is so powerful, and I think it's really good for Mela to be around people that feel really expanded by how powerful she is and not like threatened by it. And so I think kind of reminding me of like her power, her impact, like kind of how impactful she can be when she's like super bold and courageous a big I think really honoring like Mela's sensitivity. So if you notice that her energy waning, like really kind of
giving her space to be in her own energy. And you're super independent, so I think also giving having space to being your own flow and you want to can be really useful. I think also encouraging Mela to sleep on things, you know, and just take a bee, like not necessarily like three days or a week, but it's just like take a couple hours, you know, let me know tomorrow, like and I'm not pressuring or like really being origin around it. Those are some pieces. Does that
make sense? Yeah, And also having a really strong communication dynamic. I think, like I didn't mention it's for you, Mila, but like for manifestors, a part of their strategy is around keeping people in the loop. If you just like go off and do things and don't let people know, they can be like a little bit suspicious or just resistant.
Whereas if you're just like, hey, I'm doing this thing, like you're not asking for permission, You're just like letting them know, you might find a lot more easy in your relationships. It feels like you guys have a pretty good communication dynamic. But I would just make sure you're keeping people in the loop and just be like, not in the mood today, not going to do this thing coming here, so just to kind of keep people informative
where you are. In terms of how Luna can support Irie, I think that like one recognizing her in the same way that I think that it's so good for you to do that Erica like be like, I love the way that you do. This's what's your perspective on this? You know, just kind of really inviting her inside in I would say, not expecting Iri to keep up or move as fast or do as much. You know, I rease energy might evan Folow a little bit more. So I think really kind of not expecting her to like
necessarily always move at the same pace as Luna. I think really kind of encourage you're going to time, and also honestly just building a really solid foundation of friendship. You know that they can like really trust and they feel like they can like really stand on and as much as you can kind of really not trying to make it doesn't like she does this, but I think, like, you know, kind of trying to make I reprove herself
or anything like that. I think in terms about Iri can best support Luna is I mean, they're both going to actually take their time. But I think also really just like appreciating her and valuing her. Again, Like I said, Luna has like so much to give, but like what allows her to give is like she's like I feel so valued in like what I'm doing. So I think really honoring that I think really giving Luna space to be in her own creative flow when she wants to.
Luna's also got a bit of a hermit nature, which she's not meant to be hermiting all the time, but just having space and time to pull away can be great. I think honoring Luna's sensitivity or space to make sure this space she's in is feeling good, and also like asking her those specific questions again, like hey, like do you want to do this or this? Like instead of
like what do you want to do? Like give her options kind of see what her immediate impulse is because she's got such a powerful gut instinct when you ask her questions right.
Way, letting her hone in on her own intuitive powers. I have been trying to like practicing at like just letting her be aligned with that, you know however she feels naturally.
Totally no need to explain it.
I'man not talk diary. I think it's really important that like we talk to our kids. I mean I'm just coming to this now having this conversation, but just giving your kids the tools to like know how they can support their friends and care to you know, like making that a priority to them.
How do you care for other people? How do you show up as a friend? How does that make them feel? Well, maybe this person's more sensitive, yeah, like and having.
Those conversations and I mean and not just like oh, they'll figure it out, you know, figure it out. Sorry, bye, Like no, don't do that again. Bye, We'll be in the other room. Like no, like really having those conversations
with them, even at this age. I think this is like why wait, you know, like why wait to teach your kids how to have healthy relationships with their friends and show up for them if you have the tools, you know, like, hey, Iri doesn't really like when when you do that, Luna, or like Luna, Iri doesn't Luna doesn't like when you say that, Like how can how can you get your point across without you know, making her feel this way? Let's try it again. I think
it's really important. Yeah. And also it is such a I was just saying that this is just also really just really insightful for our girls.
Also just such a good lesson early on to like not expect others to do it, like you just be like they are going to like move really differently through the world. And so instead of like wanting them to be different than what they are more similar to me, Like how can I just like honor how they operate and so again, whether it comes to how we parent, or whether we work together, or how we partner with people.
I just think it's so powerful to understand exactly how we're each wired, which is what human design does, because it's just like I think that we can like flow so much more easily together because we're not trying to be the same.
Are there any human designs that are just like not compatible, like they just shouldn't really co exist. No, I just maybe in love or something.
I mean, I I would say no, because I think that's so disempowering to kind of tell people that I think there are some that are going to probably require more work than others. And it's less about like type be it type, but actually like deeper layers. But I think in cases like that, like as long as you really understand each other and honor that anything possible. But
some might require a bit more work. And honestly, when we date people that are really similar to us, there could be like a very similar residence and understanding and familiarity, but we're also often attracted to difference you know, so like I've seen it work so beautifully either way. But it really just comes down to, like are you really honoring how different they are or you trying to expect kind of or you expect them to be the same.
Right, Well, this was so insighting.
It is, it's so insightful, and it's so helpful to remember to like just honor yourself, you know, Like I said, there's so much pressure to perform and to be this or that, be righteous. This is the standard, what good is, what successful is, and this is what you have to do to accomplish that. But like it kind of brings you back down to like just the bear, like your nature and what your nature is, even you like taking the leap to me the guy at your friend's house, and then say fuck that other job.
This is probably what I'm called to.
Do, you know, like Mardi were taking me. Yeah, yeah, you.
Would never you know, we'd never be here talking to you sharing this message. And like I think people miss that, you know, and your purpose is that it's not going to be perfect. It's not going to be created like this in this box, even you know, us, in this interesting space that we ended up in, like we didn't mean to create this community, but we have and that's because we took a chance on trusting our innate powers.
And I think this is so like beneficial if people were able to kind of have insight on what those powers are and then go with it, go with their gut. So thank you so so so much Aarin for sharing with us and sharing human design.
We forgot to ask you earlier.
Do you have an affirmation for the people's Oh, I think after this conversation.
Just honoring exactly what as you are and however it does you do things even if it's different than everyone around you.
I honor exactly who I am, Eily, Yeah, enough, exactly who I am, and that's enough, and that's enough.
I cannot be anyone else. I'm trying and doing that.
Yeah, we would love to stretch ourselves, and of course stretch yourself better yourself, but like be kind to yourself and honor who you are in the process. Don't try to pull yourself into a direction that doesn't make sense.
I hate men. So can you let the people know where they can find you and get their human design? I know I see a lot of like human designs. You can just like input your information in the websites, but this is so much deeper. I want to encourage you guys to contact Aaron because she can really give you like real insight, not just generated Google insight, like a.
Six blueprint insight.
Yeah.
Yeah, So I'm Aaron Claire Jones everywhere Aaron Claire Jones dot com, My Instagram's Aaron Claire Jones. And yes, if you wanted to deeper, I would say probably the best place to start as getting your blueprint, which is like a fifty five plus page just like written guide to your unique design. It walks you through all the most important pieces that we talked about today and so much more, and it's meant to just be like a book to how you operate best. And I'm having to create a
discount code. Is there a word that you guys like to use, good moms? Good moms, So the discount code is good moms. And then I also offer private sessions, partnership sessions, family sessions, team sessions if you want to talk through it all together.
Awesome. Thank you so much, Aaron, and you guys know where to find us. We're Good Moms, Bad Choices on all podcasting platforms. Make sure you follow us on Instagram. That's Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Our Twitter is low key, kind of popping. Now check that out. Good Mom, Wait, Good Moms, Good Girl? Oh yeah, good good Mom, Bad Girl, Good Mom Underscore, Bad Girl. I swaar, We're gonna if I can get that one day. And make sure you joined us on Patreon. We've been posting a lot more
little audio. I've been doing like I'm really into like my soul. Did you say my post is something? No?
I did it.
I posted a solo episode, a little mini solo episode. Oh just voice, okay, yeah, I posted a mini solo episode the other day and I really enjoyed it. It was like thirteen minutes and it was just quick and I hope the should I say resonates whatever. Make sure you check us out on Patreon. We're considered explicit, so you can't search us on Patreon. You actually have to go to patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices for all the juice.
And if you're thinking about joining us in Costa Rica in twenty twenty two.
Please come hang with us. It's going to be bomb dot com.
I don't know where you live, but it's going to be warm and sunny and tropical in Costa Rica. We're going to be working on ourselves, our true selves, like we learned from Aaron today, And they're going to be amongst the community of women and drinking cocktails and having fun. And if you're interested, go to good Mom's Bad Choices dot com and click retreats to find out more.
All right, well, we will see you guys next week.
Having a wonderful week Byetta Kee