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Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. Whoa holy shit? Hi do there girl?
Hi baby?
This is Meela, This is Erica, and this here show is called Good Mom's Bad Choices. Are you ready to talk about the good and the bad and the ugly.
Don't worry, guys, we won't do this the whole episode. Why not?
I love it here.
I loved when Mila walked in to Day. I told her she looked like Heidi.
Except I don't know how they from Sweden accent, so I just went with Annie from the farm. How do you do a Swedish accent? Hello? Hello, Hello, I'm hello Hello. It Susie Annie. Yeah. My accent from down south as much easy. I gotta work on my Swedish accent from the prairie.
I think we just got to look on YouTube. I feel like you could find it.
Okay, do is that what we need to do? We need to work on our accents?
Maybe Okay, you never know, I might have to bust them out, yeah, you know, because we're gonna be voiceover actress actresses. Because I'm tired of not being featured on dipsy.
Yep, I'm putting on my resume.
I'm gonna just put it out there now, dipsy. We deserve to be sex actors on your on your virtual and not virtual, your audio app.
Because maybe you guys can like start requesting it for us. Maybe if we're like the people are just craving for it.
We won't do that accent.
Okay, I promise I'll be sexy.
Yeah, very sexy.
It's late at night. It was raining and I was sitting in my.
Car when I got the call. Hello, Oh hey baby, hey, oh what are you doing?
I was just sitting here thinking about you.
It's so crazy because I was thinking about you, and so is she. Oh my god, my pussy has been wet just thinking about it. My pussy is throbbing. Are you home? Yes, I'm coming through. Keep the door unlocked and get naked. See you soon, baby, on the way. It can get better. We're gonna practice.
So that's our audition tape. Dipsy, this is it. Any other sex abs hit us up.
If Dipsy doesn't get with the program, we're gonna cheat and go somewhere else.
Tipsy, this is.
Your final fucking callback. Script. There's a script.
There's a script.
Oh my god, can't I drop it?
What the fuck?
This is the most technical?
Should read it right now? Yeah?
We should. How the fuck is may so fucking I've been looking for links my whole life. She just find them in twenty seconds.
Oh my gosh, Hi, how are you?
I'm great, I'm great. How are are you, honey, I'm good. It's been so long since we sat here alone. It's weird. I was like getting ready today, I was like kind of excited, even though I'm like, I don't know what we're talking about, doesn't matter. I can't wait to see my friend. Yeah, we just be talking, even though I just saw this bitch twenty four hours. Agay, did you know but about thirty five?
Yeah, thirty five.
It's rarely there's a time we go more than forty eight to seventy two hours without seeing each other. It never happens without speaking to each other. It just doesn't fucking exist morning, noon, and night text messages. Do we need to go to fast? I don't know.
Is that a friend fast?
I don't know. I don't want to do it.
No.
I like the way that sounds. People going.
I think that's just like when people just don't like each other anymore, right, No.
Well, maybe just people like breaks everything. I think there's healthy boundaries.
I think that like, as our friendship grows, we subconsciously create some a little bit, but not really. No, I don't know. No, Well, recently Jamila was like, you know, her her booth thang is moving to LA and my booth thang is potentially moving to La too, and she's like, should they move in together?
I was like, She's like boundaries. I'm like okay. I was just like, that seems like too much?
Can we talking about us?
That was our first thing. Now they're gonna be talking to you.
They gonna be get in a fight that the person's gonna know about it. It's just too much.
That's true. I mean, I don't know who's you know, just joining us and who's listening. But you know, we we religiously get into relationships around the same time with similar niggas. They're not no, they're not similar. But the last time I got into the last they were nerds and these these two are cooler and more like out of the box and they get along. We always like somehow our entergy is like here you go, these will go together, perfect and we're like perfect, thank you. Oh
it's over. So it's over her too. I'm so sorry to do this to you, but Eric had broke up with so and so. So you know what that means. Well, I mean, I'm probably not gonna break up with my man for quite some time. So we're safe, okay, good or ever not? Sometimes looking at the calendar and you know we're good for at least twelve to eighteen months. So Hi, Orlando, my boyfriend edits our audio. So there's not a fucking I'm not safe anywhere, No rock is.
I just want to say right now, I'm gonna be like Joe, this is all for entertainment purposes. Nothing I say can be held against me in the court of law or in any form of fashion.
In boyfriend court, in regular court, in all the courts of the land, international court. Anything we say is for entertainment.
I didn't wink. I'm serious as fuck. This is audio, bitch, I know, but it's also YouTube.
Yeah. So we've so much to catch the people up on. How's your your new boo that's now moving to LA How do you feel about that?
Wow? You're really just gonna put me on the spot, aren't.
I mean, what kind of show do we have? Like the kind of where you like pretend or the kind of where you're keep it real? Because last time I checked, we tell all our business.
You know, I am. I'm excited. I'm excited, but I also know that he's moving not for me, He's moving for things. I'm part of those things. But I'm just excited because I feel like we are very much We're very different, but we understand each other. We understand how
one another communicates. I'm a very direct communicator and it can be harsh, and he understands that and he lets me do that, which is really great because I feel like in my relationships generally, like feel I've always felt like I had well, my previous longest relationship, I felt like I had to kind of like really be so careful about how I say anything, like really think about it. I couldn't just like say how I feel in that moment, and even when I did really think about it, the
nigga didn't get it, never was received well. So I feel like our communication styles I've this is the first person I've met where I feel I really feel like our communication styles are aligned, which makes me really ecit because I feel like that's like the basis for everything.
And he's beautiful and he's smart and he's a scorpio.
Yeah, I'm smitted.
Oh, I know you're smitting bitch. Oh, I know, I know it's my friend we're such water signs. We'd be getting smitten and they'd be like, come with us everywhere. You like me, I like you to come with us everywhere. Our niggas have literally traveled with us to like all of our appearances in the last three months. They're so supportive, they're so sweet, the sweetest shit I've ever seen. We do. We talk about this in Atlanta when we were in Atlanta.
We okay, they came to Atlanta with us when we did a panel, and we partied the night before because good moms. And then the next morning we had to be at the panel at like fucking ten am. But then we were so extra we got our makeup done at like seven am. So we're both like miserable in the makeup chair, so pissed off. And then I was like telling Orlando, I'm like, you don't really, you don't have to come. You could sleep. He's like, I'm gonna come. I'm going to be there. So the panel didn't start
for like an extra hour. They're they're in the audience, the only men, only men. It's a women's it's a women's conference. They're the only men in the audience. While we do a like two hour panel. We're like taking pictures from the back, like look at them looking at us. That is so cute.
They had got zero sleep, none.
It was acute. They were like holding our purses.
I think I think my guy had sunglasses on the whole time.
He did, he did, but they were so supportive they took pictures. It was really sweet. I don't know how they did it, because I don't know if I could have done the same, But they walked, they did all the things with us, and it felt really good. And then they came with us again to another panel recently and they weren't allowed. They didn't they were they were't allowed there. They wouldn't give us a plus fun even though we should have snuck them in.
I would have stood stood out. We even snuck them into the party. And you missed that part in Atlanta.
Oh and Atlanta, we were also because we had to go to a panel, but the night before we had to do like a gala, like a very like important party, and they told us we couldn't bring a plus one and we said fuck.
That no, especially because I told my niggas like kind of like fashionable, he's a fashion icon. Who am I kidding, and he was like he like got the suit out, like he like went and you were like.
My man bought new shoes. He's gonna get in expensive. Should thought we were going to like the top clubs.
Like he got his Nikels done like he was he was, he was right, Yeah, he got them trimmed. He was looking and he looked and I was like, I need to see him in the suit. And so the niggas coming to the party.
So I was like, Eric, we're gonna get docked if they find out we're sneaky niggas into the party that they told the specifically told us do not bring a plus one. We're like, I literally was.
I tried to convince them. I'm like, they had a natural.
Did you say that? Did you say that in an actual email? It was fun. I didn't see you send an email that said our niggers have natural hair? Can they police come? Wait? Can you please just say the whole email? Like what the fuck do you mean? As if they give a shit like how would I have natural hair? Well, let them in.
I did. What was the email?
Oh my god, I didn't see that email, but I can't believe that you tried it anyway, we gotta have a.
Whole chain from the event. It was the natural Hair show, so that was trying to sell.
That they're never going to ask us to come back if they hear this. But oh my god, it was a great, beautiful show and apparently they didn't care that our boyfriends have natural hair. They did it, but we didn't carry either because guess what we did. We get to the event and we're like, stay back's stay back, let's just feel it out to seem begin sneak you in, and of course there's like everyone's inside and there's someone at the door with the list. I was like, bitch,
we're not gonna be able to get them in. She was like no. So I was like, I was like, our names are Dada da. And then we went to the bar and I was like, look on the list and see who's not crossed out. To find two male names that are not crossed out. She's like, okay, I said, I'm like, I thought for sure this. I thought for sure she's gonna let it go. No, I said, okay, no.
She had a full beautiful ass suit on with new Christian bluebaton.
Let me tell you how did like when Erica sets her mind to do some shit. This ship is getting done. Okay, this bitch goes back to the podium where the list is. I don't know what she said to these women. She's pretending to small talk while looking at the list. I was like, yeah, so what's in the gift bag?
Like who are some of the sponsors?
Oh, that's cool, Oh you have kids? The women who are like at the door. Then she comes back Edward g Alfred c I'm like.
What, No, I had their full last name.
It was Edward Williams Alfred Calhoun. I'm like write it to text them.
I'm like, text them now, texting those names.
I was like some I'm texting just say you're Alfred whatever and Edward Cowhun. I'm like, when if they fucking come. So then we get to the table, I'm like, look, there's two seats next to us. They can come.
It was literally like God wanted them to come sit next to us. The table was had perfect amount of seating open just for our niggas.
So we told them they use the names and then they didn't have these names because my nigga is a con artist. He was like, oh, I already made friends with men from accounting. He's like, yeah, George McCowen, already, I mean, be cool. I told her, I said, Hi, don't you.
Remember I snucked them through the back, bitch, I snucked them through the.
She snugged them to the back.
And then they made friends, and then they made friend They assimilated quick.
So they had made friends with whoever works at the actual company. And we, first of all, it wasn't that many people there. We weren't shy about it. They were obviously our niggas. Somebody who wrote the email like telling us no was like these bitches. If any of them realized who we were and all these amount of emails we begged to have these plus ones, and then looked around one time and saw these bitches and snuck in
their plus one, then we're so ghetto. We're like taking pictures on their lap, like at the intermission.
Like.
It was so get out. But by that time we were drunk, so it didn't matter. We do that. Yeah, can we please insert these pictures because they're so fucking extra. Anyway, if you're looking to book us for a speaking engagement, always give us a plus one. We're great even when we sneak people in we are.
We had a great time.
We delivered and they were great. We needed the support, so they're a.
Great support system. They're great sidekicks. They just do their own thing. It was wonderful.
Can you tell we're in love. They're great, natural hair, wonderful. Yeah. You know, it's interesting to be in a relationship two years later. Remember this is around the time we got in relationships two years ago.
That I have to tell you. Oh my god, that's so crazy.
You're saying that. Okay, I'll tell you something later. You know. Honestly, this is like a PSA announcement for women. If you if something feels off, go with it. I've dated probably at least two to four possible killers. Yeah for sure. And I knew it, and I said, you might kill me. You might. I could feel it, and it took about six to twelve months, but mostly I got out of
it before I got marked. So if you feel like you maybe you're gonna end up on the ID channel, just get out and get the fuck out because it could happen to you. I could look at the ID channel. It happens to bitches every day. You're special, You're not people kill Sorry that was the PSA announcement.
Anyway, I have a good feeling about these men that I don't think they're killers. No, no, no, they're not giving killer vibe, No, none at all. You're giving just like supportive freaky vibes.
Yep, just like having freak vibes. That's like, that's my that's my mom. I like a supportive freaky What was loving? Yeah, I was. You know, I'm navigating a new and new space with this relationship because although I should have all my life been in non monogamous relationships, this isn't the one that I finally it's been mutual and I haven't
lied and cheated, so it is non monogamous. So it's it has posed a lot of challenges for me because I've realized I'm a little crazy and jealous, and it does make me check myself a lot, which I do not like doing. I don't like to be told what to do. I don't like to be told I'm wrong even when I am wrong, and I like to rebel
like I'm sixteen still, which you know I'm not. I'm now a thirty four, thirty four year old woman, and yeah, I was at the light the other day and I was like, huh, I don't have anything to worry about. M feel so strange. Wow, I have anything to worry about. Like, I'm not stressed, I'm not worried about you doing some functionhit, not worry about what you're doing when you're not with me. I'm not worried about what you're doing another bitch. I
mean sometimes, but not really. And it was just like so odd that I have normalized being worried in relationships, and like, I just realized at that moment at the light, Like I say, my mom worried about my dad's so fucking much, chase him so fucking much. My parents came over the other day and she's like, where are you going. I was like, oh my god, everybody needs to get out. But I realized I told Ashley this. She was like standing up in the house. I was like, where are
you going? She's like, WHOA, Relax, I'm standing up. I'm gonna have abandonment issues, but I do I get worried. And I was like, Wow, this is so bizarre to not be worried about the things that I'm usually worried about. So like being healthy, insecure and sitting in it is very strange because it feels like I should be worrying about something, and then I'm like, am I gonna make myself worry about something because I'm good for that.
Too, Or create something to worry about?
Yeah, create something to worry about and I have, you know, and not that I've created it. There are some things niggas can get cursed out for, but overall, it's really safe and I feel, like you said, like we have a good communication and sometimes like I don't like to be jealous out loud. I'd just like to do it to tell my friends like, oh yeah, it's all good. I'm fucking pissed, Eric, piss little help now, I'm fine, it's not bad, I'm good. Yeah, tell you back. Oh yeah,
oh no, I'm all good. I'm fine. I'll clie back. Fucking motherfucker is like, you're crazy. I'm like, no, i'm not. But I don't like to care publicly.
I care in private.
I care in private. I'm jealous privately. I'm cool in public. If you couldn't tell I'm cool now.
Everybody knows though, sh shut the fuck.
But yeah, Like, just learning to be accountable for my own actions and recognize when some shit is not healthy and where I need to like apologize, which also I hate a lot. I don't like to apologize. Better at texting apologies, I'm better at communicating in texts in general.
You did make him get off the phone to text you, huh, he said, She's like niggas trying to confuse you on the phone.
These niggas, you know what they do. They call you and confuse you.
Keep it on text.
It's true.
It's like, you're not wrong.
It's true. You don't let me conversations. I've been like, what is he saying? I don't know? Huh yeah, okay, I'm sorry. Why back? And then I think about it, I'm like, not sorry, Actually this is some bullshit, am am. I just trying to be right sometimes, but sometimes they be trying to confuse you. So keep it on text just so you can. You got to be able to analyze the thoughts. You gotta be analyzed what they saying
because they try to talk backwards. Men talk in a different language called Martian, and so you got to be able to like show your friends so they can.
So we can all dissect it and make sure we can double check. We can check Google, we can you know, check the thesaurus. Research this with synonyms, because some of their words mean other things.
Literally, I tell I show Erica and then she points out the things and I'm like, you know what. I knew I was missing something. I was like, you're right, say that again. What you said the last time. He was trying to confuse me. I know that's how I'd run it past you, my wife.
Yeah, No, it's true. They do try to confuse you. Because on phone, I'm like, okay, well, hi, oh my god, I've had so many have you ever had a fight. High, We don't care, there's no fight. Oh my god, I've had fights. I'm like people that. They're like, tell me what I did, and I'm like, I forgot. They're like, you said I did this, Tell me about it.
When did it happen?
How did it go? And I'm like, oh my god, that's so many questions. I'm like, oh no, I'm like, I know it happened. Did it happen?
I'm high, tell me what to say. Let me call you back, yo, I'm Queena. I'm a Cira back. Somebody just walked in. I got back, like what we're in my conversation. No, I got cooked. Bye, Oh my god, don't text something. Don't get in a fight on the phone. Don't get in the fight. Hih Hi, You're gonna get confused quickly.
Yeah. But yeah, communication, I feel like that is that's like the biggest lesson that I've learned, period in all relationships. And I finally feel like I've met somebody that like I can like literally was like, hey, when you have it, when you have an issue, just like say it immediately, like don't hold back. He's like, like, within the first five seconds of you feeling like you have one, like just say it. And I was like what, And he
was like, I'm serious, Like just say it. He's like, I'm trying to tell you like my love language and how I work and how I how I can, how we can communicate because that's and I'm like, that's exactly what I always want to do, but I can't.
I've I've trained myself not to me too, you know, halmost like don't.
I didn't. I still like working on believing him.
But you then resentment grows because you're annoyed. There's so much resentment. I did it this weekend. I was so fucking irritated till like Monday, and he's like, are we friends? He's like, why don't you just say how you feel? And I was like, right, I'm pissed, you know, but it's like because you don't.
A part of it is like I think, I like, we often sometimes get made to feel like we're overreacting or like we're tripping or and we.
Might be we might be, but but welcome it either way.
So he be like, so part of me is like I don't want to look like I'm being curaging, I'm trying to control you. I don't want to look like I'm trying to like minimize your experience.
Yeah, I don't want you to do that just to me me too, I'm like, don't tell me what to do, but I don't like this.
Yeah, And it's like you know, and I want you to show up as you, and really that's what it is for me. It's like I want my partner to show up as themselves because like there's only so long you can hide that part of you and it will come out and then I don't want to be surprised, and I don't want you to be surprised, So let's just like really just.
Lay it out. I know that part of me I realize I'm like, I just want you to do what you're gonna do, because I'm kind of testing you to see if you're gonna do what I want you to do, and if you don't, I'm gonna be fucking irritated. And I did this this weekend and it does not work.
Don't do it. Don't be like, just do whatever you want to do, because then they'll do what they want to do and then you'll be annoyed and you're like, why the fuck didn't I just say, don't do that because I don't want to control you, because I don't want to be controlled. Because you want them to choose you, Yes, some of them to choose the right thing.
Mm hmm.
If someone is welcoming what you need and want allow that to happen, why is it so hot?
We literally ask for the things we want and then they show up and sometimes we have a really hard time accepting them. I mean, I think it's part of like the fear there's been there's fear, there's like is this real?
Like how long?
Is this? Is this sustainable? That's what it is for me. It's like is this sustainable? Like because I mean inevitably, relationships change, right like feelings grow water under the bridge may or may not happen, depending on how you deal with it, but things happen. And I'm just like, you know, I was thinking about this honeymoon period or whatever you want to call the beginning of a relationship, and it's my favorite part of the relationship.
Me too.
I don't wanted to ever go away. And that's not because only we like maintain the honeymoon period. And I think a big part of it is the communication. I think the honeymoon dies because people start feeling they have to keep secrets and protect people, and like they start realizing certain things that annoy someone about them. So then they're like, oh, I can't do that anymore, but I like and so the word press it instead of being
able to express it. So I don't know, I'm really trying to like keep all those things mindful in this in this situation relation, situationship, relationship relation, CITIP, situationship. This is more than a situe.
Okay, anyway, situation situation special thing I'm doing but with the most want boyfriends in denial, not for real, just kidding, not serious, kind of serious serious. Claim me, don't claim me, claim me forever. No, not from me.
I'm I'm I'm in the journey of accepting claiming ship. I shouldn't have smoked before this.
I told you not to. I'm about to light up. I realized though, as a cancer I don't know if anyone else experiences I don't know if it's a water sign thing. Is this cancer thing? My ability to let shit go is low as hell? I will be like, m Remember January third, twenty twenty two, Well you did this, so that's why I'm doing this in June. Remember, yeah, you did it, so I'm gonna do it now. I know I said I didn't like it. Yeah, yeah, it's
literally what I did. I'm like, I know I said I didn't like it, and you said you're gonna change it, and you have. But now I need to get you back. I mean, you know how it feels. You don't like it? Huh. I'm gonna do it five more times? Then, oh my bitch, you're nuts. He's like, are you not over it? I'm like, no, I'm know, I'm over it. I'm not. I'm like, am
I ever gonna be over anything? Like? But you gotta let go, because then that's why the relationship doesn't work, because you're mad about some shit that happened seventeen months ago. It's bringing it the fuck up like it's from seventeen hours ago. But you know, it's just it's nice to be free in a relationship and come as you are. And I do think that these men are coming as they are, and we are allowed to come as we are,
which everybody knows. We're a special case of women. And so it's interesting to date free men because it's kind of like dating yourself, which is a little scary. And like I've said before, I'm not that fond of dating me.
Oh my god, we both are dating free men. They're both free. I never like looked at it that way. Yeah, And I'm like, when if you're listening, you're thinking free, Like what does that mean? Like, like niggas are all free? They all do whatever the fuck they want?
Wow, free free with uh? Free with Uh? How do you say when you're like accountable, like free with intention, free with I don't know how to say.
I think they just really stand behind who they are. Yes, they just don't try to cover it up. This is who I am. I'm not going to try and portray to be this nigga to you. This is where I'm at. This is it you like it or not? Because like, yeah, that's it really and I and I do that, so like we do that all the time. I know most times men don't do that because they're trying to be it's the ego, it's all these things. But to be to it's almost like facing your mirror, and that's what this,
that's what this feels like. It feels like I'm looking at myself in the mirror in ways and I'm having to be like, okay, well i'd like I do that shit too, and I and I don't want to change that part of me, and like I don't really want you to change that part of you, and like, oh my god, can we just do this shit together?
Yeah? So yeah, so yeah, it's very interesting dating yourself. But I'd rather take date a freeman than a fucking saved one any day. Not saved, I think against the saved man. I love a god fearing man. Actually, me and Orlando prayed together the other day. It felt very religious.
Did you say, like dear God or something like Jesus at this moment relaxed mother of Mary Joseph.
I don't know the mother of Mary's prayer, but I went to Catholic school. It's very sad, no I he led the prayer. I think there was a dear God in there. Maybe we held hands and held touched foreheads. It was very romantical and spiritual. I liked it.
It's beautiful.
I love that. Did you tell your boyfriend that you're a witch? Was okay?
He said he's a warlock. Oh?
Perfect. I figured that he looks like a warlock, right, yeah.
Yeah.
And then more and more I get to know him and don't call him my boyfriend.
I m that he is. I don't think I do boyfriends anymore.
Okay, so we're calling him partners.
Yeah, but I realized that he is a warlock, like I see his witch in the way, but he.
Hasn't intentionally tapped in yet.
So I'm hoping that I can help him with that, and that we can do that together and tap into that together.
Sometimes I get super scared to smoke in the middle of the day or overdo it, and so I really really enjoy Loomy microdose because it's like smoking, but in a teeny tiny drop of the dose. I don't have to be too scared that it's gonna be overwhelming or I'm gonna be totally discombobulated. It's like the perfect dosage. It is.
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Happy microdosing.
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the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. I talked to our girl Jesse Sweet Love Sanctuary, and after we had a really terrible experience on a really stupid platform, and she was like, you guys are really good good positions right now because you have men that are healthy and safe and when you have interactions with people like that that are negative, you can come home to them and they can cleanse you. They're like, She's like, women aren't internalized and take on things,
and men have the ability to shoot them out. I don't know if she said shit them out or shoot them out.
There was this discrepancy.
I wasn't sure what she said. I thought she said shit them out, but Orlando said, I think she said shoot them out, and I said, whatever, it's the same shit getting out, it's getting out, and so I was like, hm, I feel I could feel that the safety and being cleansed and having like a safe space to go back after being in a world that I mean, I think we've realized in the last three months we've been kind of living under a bubble and we've been really protected
and we are really protected. But like as we get more popular on the internet or whatever, like people have the ability to leave comments and it's people are ugly and nasty and men, I mean really mean, and men are really hurt and really hate free women, really hate free women, especially free black women. It's insane a lot of black men.
And so she was just you know, right, because when they look at white women having or doing the same things we do, they're like they almost like admire it, or are they like.
They don't blame white women for the downfall the whole white community.
No, they're like they was like, oh, silly white bitches, let me fuck you. Like for us, it's like you're maybe I'll even wife you.
Yeah, that's your You're ruining the entire black community with your rhetoric. It's like a super deep attack. I've never seen so many men say we are individually as a comboat destroying the black family structure. Just me and you, Me.
And you have destroyed all black family.
Stru Not the war on drugs, not white supremacy or patriarchy, none of that. No, not slavery. Me and Erica.
Yeah, we bitches from the valley, we alone.
Are fucking the family structure up. Any healing we had, it's gone now between me and her fucking city girls and Elizabeth, it's done. We take the cake. We've ruined history.
You've done it all.
We don't need men we said that publicly seventeen times. We're just going to fuck each other. We're no, we're.
Just going to be on a big woman commune where we don't need men at all.
We may have said that, Actually I said that it's going to happen if men don't. That's and guess what. The men are not healing themselves, and that's the problem. And that's why I'm getting we get in the farm soon.
And that's why we got our free niggas and we getting out of here.
Get you a free nigga. And they call them, they call them a wild man. Like in this book I'm reading wild women Women that women that run with wolves, they taught so you have to find a wild man. And I told you that I'm usually a man with a free mom or like just his own his own thinking. Wow, can find a man who can think for himself? Good?
Look basically yeah, but wait, what were we talking about, because we were we got caught up on that terrible.
Oh. Oh if they if they support our witchiness and sustainability of the honeymoon stage. Oh, anyway, I was saying they do support it, because I told Orlando, go get me three eggs from the kitchen and when me and er can eat three eggs from the kitchen before we get on the flight. And he said okay, And I rubbed eggs on me and Erica, and then I said, pull over. We're gonna leave him at the crossroads. Jesse said, we need to do this for a sue, and he said okay. He didn't just blink an eye, So you
know it seems like a keeper. Yeah, I agree, And I've noticed that you're bad. Didn't say shit when I was rubbing eggs on you in the parking lot.
I said, not one word. It's totally normal. I don't know what they're doing. I start like sending him my my rituals. I was like, hey, so this is something that I do, maybe you should try it.
Well. I think that if we do it together. I think that there's we can get richer or faster. Well, there's that.
I just want him to I want him to know that this is something that I do. It's important to me, and like encourage I want I want to encourage all my all my people to have some sort of practice, because I feel like once you do, you just tap into something so much bigger, like whether that is God, whether that's.
You know ancestors.
Yeah, Like so, I just feel like he already has it in him. He just hasn't, like fully like figured out what works for him, you know, because it works for me doesn't nessarily have to work for him. But I think that I'm excited at the idea of being able to share with that within my relationship something I haven't really didn't.
I just did a lot of mushrooms in my last relationship.
That wasn't like it felt spiritual, but that wasn't it was an element of it.
But no, we did a lot of drugs because it was twenty twenty and we were nothing else to do. There was nothing else to do. We went on trips and we did drugs because that was the only way to get out a drugs medicine. We took a lot of medicine to get through twenty twenty. I'm sorry, right.
So intense, I know, but yeah, but I do want to take mushrooms with him. I haven't done that yet. And I asked him, I said, have you ever taken mushrooms with intention? He was like, what do you mean? I was like, no, do you think.
That I'm they're gonna give me problems at the border. If I take that jar of mushroom powder, I feel like I feel like that CanCon is they're looking for a party. Like the motor is a bit like no questionable. It looks like a smoothie, like something you put in the smooth It looks better than like mushrooms.
It's kind of gray.
Yeah, but maybe be protein powders.
Okay, well you got you convinced. Bit you asked my opinions.
You don't usually use Nature's pocket.
But that's a lot. That's a lot. I don't know. I'm not that no, no, weird, no, I just want yeah, like, I don't know.
We won't melt powder like liquefy.
I don't know. I don't know how warm. Your womb is very.
Very very warm.
Maybe if you pack other Okay, maybe we should talk about this off camera, other vitamins, other smoothie mixes. I'm gonna put some fish fry, some grits. Oh yeah, there you go.
Me and my man are going to uh Mexico for a month. This will be the longest stretch of time we've spent together solo, living together. So this is this is gonna be It's gonna be fun. I'm not worried at all, though.
I don't think you've anything to worry about.
When I when I've met Orlando, like three weeks later, I was like, do want to go to Mexico with me for a week? And he said yes, and we stayed together for a week and it was fine. So I'm pretty sure we're safe.
Yeah. I think you guys are gonna be fine. You guys are best friends, you guys get along.
Are you gonna come visit me?
I don't think so. I'm sorry. Now this will be our Is this our friend break? This is our friend Cleanse?
Oh my god? Is that the episode title friend Cleanse for friend de talks? No, not at talks. No.
I'm gonna I'm gonna go to Mexico, but I'm not gonna go to that part of Mexico, and I'm gonna come back and then I'm gonna stay either in La or I don't know. I want to spend time with my boo. He doesn't live here yet, so I don't know if he's gonna come visit me in La or if I need to go to New York and then we're going, then then then I'll see you again in another city because that's our lifestyle now.
It's so great. I was made for this lifestyle that I know. I'm ready, bitch, are you ready ready? Yeah, yeah, we've been We've we've been ready, We've been ready. So
I am. I'm excited for this shift. I feel like we're in like this crazy transition phase like right now, like our lives are changing right in this moment when we're in DC, we're at the club because we're we do this now, and there's a sign and bottles and all of our bitches are with us, and like, hey, out shout out to everybody who met us in d c our tribe. Like I met so many bomb ass women.
I partied with so many women and it was great and I feel like I knew you bitches forever and every time, right, shout out to my Leah, just Tina, everybody. And there's a point where like our bottles came, we're like working, and then she looked over at me across the table and she's like, this is it. This is the shift right now. I was like, you're right, who were at the club. We've made it, bitch, our face is on a club flyer.
This is what dreams are made of.
Four years working hard just to get to the club with her name on the battle and a flyer.
Oh yeah, though that was I think, Oh yeah, that was pretty. I was like, wow, this I get it. I like this. Thank you baby Jesus. Yes, and shout out to my boo for hooking that up because they we had our name on a flyer thanks to the connection.
Not one night, two nights. Yeah, we were the after party of the mom friends, the official after party off. Somebody said that I was okay, right, we are, not that anyone had that much samina because it was difficult even for us. But yeah, I'm excited and I love you.
I love you too. You have an amazing trip.
Thank you. I'm looking forward to it, looking forward to getting like healthy, drinking water, taking my time writing this book.
Long breaths, deep breath.
Yeah, just a lot of that. I realized, just because just from the time we've spent in Costa Rica, Like I really need that. I mean we both do, but like, yeah, I mean sometimes separately. Sometimes we're not working.
Yeah, like not working yea, yeah, but yeah, I'm really excited for the I mean, like this, this marks the middle of the year.
Like, this is the rest, This is the final, the medior check in. Yeah, this is the midior check in. How are you guys doing over there? What's going on?
There's still time to shift whatever it needs to be shifted. It's never too late. You haven't ruined or failed in your New Year's resolution. You know, we put so much pressure on ourselves to like change our lives January first every year, and then like the year passes and we're like, oh my god, did I do any of the things I'm gonna do? Probably not, not all of them, But this is your reminder right now, bitch, get your eggs together,
figure it the fuck out. You can do it. You can start over, you can do it.
What are some things that you guys.
Are doing to check in with yourself.
In November? I, in like October, committed to going to therapy for minimal a year, for at least once a week. And I've done that. I've gone to therapy basically once a week. I've probably missed a couple weeks when we're like traveling or something, but I have. I've gone. I've committed to it, and so I'm really proud of myself.
I'm proud of you too. That's amazing And I'm like, even if that was all you did, like that, oh it is, hude, it is.
My house has probably been dirty like ninety percent.
But I'm just saying, like, even like for women listening, because a lot of times we feel like we have to have these major goals and things that have to happen, but like just deciding to go to therapy is over. It's a whole year when just showing up every week to just work on something.
Like yes, I'm not saying like I've had any like crazy breakthroughs, and of course I have. I've cried, you know what I'm saying. Sometimes I'm like I have time to sit here and talk for fucking today, and then I do, and then I'm happy about it. But like every time I do the shit because I know myself and I know in the past I haven't committed, you know, because I'm just doing all the time with add But yeah, that feels really good and I just feel the progress
and I see the progress and I'm proud. What about you?
I think I like reconnecting with Iri and not that like we've had a disconnect with my daughter, but like I think there's like a shift that happens between ages, and like between those ages, like I've been so consumed with like working and wanting to achieve my goals, so that like something can shift for us, and sometimes like I felt, I felt really imbalanced in that. And I had a wake up call a few months ago that like really put it into perspective for me and how
like this is it. Like I just realized this is like their first grade is done, Like we're not getting this back like last month is over right talking to us like, well, because I have these are things. These are conversations that I have to have with myself to sometimes like sit my ass down and like focus. Like last night we were working and we were like I'm this call late or whatever, and like it was bedtime and I was tired, but she just wanted me to
like play a game of Uno with her. She was like, can we just play one game of Uno? And like I really want to be like, no, you need to go to bed. And I was like it's just little things like that where I just like say yes more because it's easy for me to say no because she has doesn't have a choice in my no, you know, really, like that's what parents do We're like nope, because I said so, No, I don't feel like it. No, we'll get to it. No, I'll do that later. No, like
you'll get that play date next time. No, No, because it's easier for my life, and like, I just I just need to get I'm just trying to get through the day, you know, and so really trying to just be more mindful of that, and like it's been feeling really good and like like I feel like I'm just I want to always be mindful of like remembering how I felt like I couldn't share things with my mom
and like I don't. I so desperately don't want that for me and my daughter and the connection, like just rebalancing I guess motherhood and work essentially, and I feel like I'm doing a better job at it and just having more boundaries like no, I can't do that because I need to. This is what has to happen, Whereas
before I'd be like, Okay, we'll figure it out. Like no. So that's been like a good check in and like something that like I'm glad that maybe in this year I didn't realize that was a lesson I was gonna be brought and then it happened, and then I was like, okay, so.
Yeah, yeah, I'm realizing like there's always more work to be done, you know, and we're We've grown a lot since the beginning. I've listened to like our first episode and I was like, I can hear their little voices in the backgrounds. Yeah, like Mama, I'm like, oh my god, like literally I want to cry. But it's just interesting, like we've grown a lot, and in ways, there's so much growth to still be done, Like I'm not done, and yeah, even with motherhood, like I'm feeling really guilty
also about going being gone for so long. I also know I need to do this to do what I need to do, and like just like my mom's gonna bring her out while I'm there, but yeah, also re calibrating my time so that she does it, like because of these years are going by so fucking quickly, so quickly, and it's like and well, you know, of course we're great mothers, but there's always room to do better, you know.
And it's like it's okay to say that. I think as moms were like and a great mom, I do everything, And it's true, we do everything but if there's always room, I feel like to be like, yeah, I think from their per perspective, be software be more playful because we get caught up so often. And like I think I'm just.
Like growing in my motherhood, Like I'm growing up in this space too, because like no one teaches you how to be a mother, Like yeah, it's like innately in you in ways, but like there's so you don't know what kind of child you're going to receive, and you don't know like you maybe never met this person before and you're in your life pre child like a person that is similar to their and it's like who are you?
How do I cater to this personality? How do I like you know, and encourage it and rich it, like you know, give it space, not over be overbearing. But also like you know, so I think I'm just really starting to I'm just I feel like there's been a shift in who I am as a mother as of late, and like the mother that I want to be and I want to continue to be from here on out. So it's just like such a cool job we have, you know, And like these years are so I could
like cry thinking about it. These years are so like important, you know, And like I just remember being a kid and how like there were so many moments and I'm like, wow, like we're things could have been could have been shifted, or like there was an opportunity for me to be more open, had someone just been okay just having a conversation with me, And like I just want to make sure that I am that for her, that I'm at least trying, because sometimes it's easy to just be default,
do the default thing that like you were taught that you receive.
Yeah, yeah, and I feel I feel you, And.
So I'm just excited that I get the It's like an honor to be able to do it. And like my daughter is like fucking amazing and I just can't wait for her to like go out in the world and like take all the things and just do it, you know. And like even though I'm like sad she's growing up, I think about that too, and I'm like, oh my god, what.
Does that look like? What is that? Like?
What is she going to actually be into? Like what are her and Luna gonna look like together as teenagers? Like hanging out and going out out, like we'll be back, We're going out, Like what like I'm gonna throw up, but also I'm so excited over I know.
I know that's how I.
Feel, and like I've been having these like thoughts about it so much lately, and especially like even you know, we stayed at a house this weekend or last week, oh yeah, and I was looking at our girls together and just they've grown up together, like literally, I know, just like like first best friends, like really, you know, and it's crazy to watch it and to see how it's like literally like growing from the ground in front of my face.
I know, I know, and I'm scared, Like I'm like, am I doing it right? Am I being gentle enough? I just like sometimes she acts so ungrateful. I'm like, yo, you just spent the weekend at a four million dollar house, prancing around naked with your mom and her friends eating pizza and like you're living the life, okay, And She's just like I wanted this and I wanted that, And I'm like, you need to be grateful. Do you know gratefulness it is? And I'm like, do I need to
read a book about fucking gentle parenting? Because I want to be like you're on I'm like, that's not like I'm like, that's not being grateful, Like people don't have shit, you know, you're very lucky, and like I remember my parents telling me that, and I'm like, you know, but like just being gentle and loving.
I only know what they know, and they know is what we show them, and so what we show them is bomb shit, So they always want more bombshit. And that's the plate. That's why we got to drop these kids off in the hood for like three weeks every year. That was that's that's the balance. So if anyone has a hood, we can drop our kids off.
Contact is a safe hood. Safehood. But you know, my dad did that to me when I was like nine in the hoods of Philadelphia West Philadelphia. I it was like a number's house and which is like a gambling house, you guys, so there's probably a lot of gang shit happening. And I came back with flea bites baby. My dad picked me up and they're like someone like hit me in the face. I think, like a boy, like hit me in the face, like look she can fight now,
And I was like, literally like what the fuck? Child abuse? But I came out tougher because of it.
It's my dad dropped me off in the country, which I've loved, Like I loved the freedom of that, and just like it was just not It's just so different than what I was doing here, you know, and I think that was really important. But yeah, so if you have a hood or a country farm, then we can drop our kids off.
At we will compensate.
But I'm also really proud to like, I of course want my daughter to have balance, but like I work hard so she can have certain things. I don't work hard so that she can have mediocre shit. I don't want mediocre shit because there's also that narrative like the kids need to have less, they need to understand, they need to get it. And it's like, well but I don't, but I want all those things, so she should have all those things.
Absolutely. That's why I need to read a book about fucking general parenting because I'm like, I'm I realized, I'm like I'm pretty tough. I'm not tough. I'm soft, but like I'm not as soft as I'd like to think in life that's true. Like I'm like I'm kind of rough around the edges, Like sometimes I'm just like chill out, be quiet, do what the fuck, I said to do. Why the fuck do I have to keep asking to
clean your room every day forever? Like she just do it like it's just But I realized, like that's how my parents treated me, Like that's how I was talked to, so like even I told you, which is the point, like sometimes other people are very like motherly to their kids.
It irritates me. And this is not popular statement. It's because I didn't get that as a kid, and so I'm constantly having to work against that like mentality to just be like kind of like tough love, you know, because I've maybe i'm like resentful that I didn't receive that still as a fucking because I can't let shit go with my cancer fucking thirty four years old. But it's it's been challenging. But also I'm lucky that I'm aware enough to check myself sometimes in the moments and hug
and get in the like do all the things. Because I am a very affectionate person anyway, and so as my child, like we we are affectionate, we are loving, and I know she gets it. And I only talk to her in a way where I know because she's she's she's mature, in ways, like emotionally, Luna is very very evolved. She's been here before, for sure, So there are things I can talk to her about that I
know she's she's understanding. But also she's fucking seven, you know, And I have to remind myself all the time to be kind, you know, to be softer with her and even with my own parents and my own family. And it's just, yeah, it's constantly like being a mother is being a student all the time. It's true, I'm in school student and a teacher in first grade, just like Iri. It's first grade of motherhood. Mother. It's true. True, I'm only even doing your mother what the well, well, listen,
and I'm only in first grade in mother school. So what do you want from me? Honestly, I haven't even expectations. Have you got to college grade? Help me? I need a tutor.
Just leave me where I'm ad.
I'm good here one year at a time, honestly. And when she gets a second grade, I'll be a second grade and make me take the SATs in first grade. Crazy, let's have all the fucking all the answer.
Yeah, people ask us questions, I'm like, bitch, I don't know his grade. Mother I don't have the masters.
I don't. I'm not a mother expert. I'm a first grade mother expert.
That's all I got.
I'm not expert. I'm not kindergarten.
I don't know.
Maybe birth. I'm a more infant expert. Give me an infant. I'll keep it alive. Great, Now you get a little bit beyond that. That's not my expert ears not.
We're still we're still working on that. Did you want to pull a card too? Okay, it's terrible time, y'all.
Ples going to my my handy dandy Biddy dot com. I don't even know if this is legal to be.
You know, a lot of people ask us about Biddy in the DM.
If Biddy doesn't give us some type of partnership, I don't know what we're talking about. At least I can't give us a free.
Send them an email let him know.
Okay, Well, why are we recruiting our audience to do several works for us? Can you submit our audition to dipsy if you.
Have time, if you have just like ten minutes today, can you submit this CCS production at Good Mom's Bad Choices dot com.
We will give you a fee if you do listen. I do you think any brand partnerships will work out? Send the email another community workspace. Okay. The two of Pentacles, Yes, multiple priorities, time management, prioritization, and adaptability. Huh. First grade mother and the Two Pinnacles. A young man dances well, juggling two coins in his hands. The infinity symbol links the coins, suggesting this man can handle unlimited problems so long as he manages his time, energy, and resource as well.
In the background, two ships sailed the high seas, bobbing up and down on the huge waves, another sign that the ups and downs of life are manageable with focus and attention. When the Two Pinnacles appears in a terror reading, it's safe to say you are juggling your priorities, roles, and responsibilities. For example, you may be working you may be a working parent, what the fuck? A general manager of a business shocked anymore? I know every week I'm like,
the people are probably like this is rigged. It's not. I literally closed my eyes and I went okay. For example, you may be a working parent, a general manager of a business, an administrative assistant in a busy office, or someone who works multiple jobs. Oh, my God, you're all of those things. You have seventy seven jobs I do in the upright position. This card notes you are doing an excellent job of balancing these different priorities and you can take on whatever life throws at you. But this
too reminds you. This too reminds you that the line between coping with these demands and losing control is thin. You need to manage your time, energy, and resources carefully so you do not lose your balance. The two of pinnacles often appears when you are busy rushing from the one thing to the next, with little downtime in between. You may tell yourself that you haven't got enough time or you're in a rush. However, remember that you don't have to be busy to get things done. Sometimes taking
a break is the most productive thing you can do. Similarly, the two of pinnacles can appear when you are getting caught up in the day to day demands and losing sight of the bigger picture. If this resonates, ask yourself, what life do I want and how can I reorganize my schedule to create the life I desire. It invites you to manage your time and your priorities carefully. Your workload is high right now, and to get everything done,
you need to stay focused and productive. You may benefit from a to do list, better calendar management, and strict, stricter schedule. You may even enlist the support of an assistant or business coach to help you make it the right changes. Do we have a business coach? Basic time management is crucial to your ability to juggle these various
priorities and keep your head above water. This card also reminds you to pay special attention to your general administration, including paying bills, managing finances, staying on top of your commitments, and maintaining your diary. Be careful that you don't miss important deadlines, meetings, and other obligations. That motherfucking sery better start working. The High Priestess Intuition, sacred knowledge, divine feminism. I know the subconscious mind. You would think I would
know what it means by now. While the magician is the guardian of the conscious mind. We pulled this. We pulled this right after the magician in New York. That's what we pulled actually. While the magician is the guardian of the conscious mind. Although they fell out, fell out and the tangible world The High Priestess is the guardian of the subconscious mind and the teacher of sacred knowledge
and hidden mysteries. Sitting at the threshold of the conscious and subconscious mind, the High Priestess has an innate ability to travel between the realms effortlessly. She teaches that the world is not always as it seems, but more profound influences are at play. She ushers you through the thin veil of awareness, offering you a deep intuitive understanding of the universe and a heightened awareness of secret or hidden information.
The High Priests signifies spiritual alignment, inner elimination, divine knowledge, and wisdom. She shows up in the Tarit reading when the veil between you and the underworld is thin and you have the opportunity to access the knowledge deep within your soul. Now is the time to be still so you can turn tune into your intuition. The answers you are seeking will come from within, from your deepest truth
and knowing. Allow the High Priests to become your guide as you venture deep into your subconscious mind and access this inner wisdom.
Oh, what do you have an affirmation for the day?
Actually, I'm always both a teacher and a student of life. I am always a teacher, both both a teacher and a student of life.
I have a horry. I have a horri So why are you laughing?
Just wondering if it's the hurry? I think it is.
So me and my boo, we you know, we're both scorpios and you know, we were very wild sexually. We are explorative. That's also why this is going so great as well, because I found someone that I feel like is open to just it sees the fun insects, you know, and that's like what I what I've been wanting recently. You know. We he'd been talking about that he had a surprise for me, and I was like, what is it?
You know, and.
We we'd like been having fun a trip and you know, fucking doing our thing. But on the last night, uh, we're pretty drunk and we were hooking up and he pulled something from under the bed and he was like, are you ready? And I was like yes. And actually, let me preface this because prior to this, like a
few trips before this, we were having sex. I'm pretty sure I don't know if it was a dream or not, but like he had mentioned that he wanted me to make him jealous, like I want to see you, like I want to see you suck a dick and make me jealous. And I was like what And may be so wet because you know, the male male female experience is something that's high on me and Jamila's list. I have semi experienced it, but not quite in the form
of massaging. But when he said this, I was like, what the fuck A man, like a man that is fucking me is saying this to me. So then like the next day, I was like, did I dream that? Because I was also drunk that day, And then I asked him and he just kind of like didn't answer. He was just like hm, and I was like okay, and then we didn't really talk about it again. So
then fast forward to this night. He pulls something from under the bed and he pulls it out and it is a what is it called, like a suckable dildo suction cup dildo and thankfully, I mean and he told me too, He was like, you know, I didn't want to like have it out of the package because I wanted you to know like something was coming. Yeah, So no, that was unused.
Oh smart, smart man.
So he cuts it out and like he just like sticks it on the wall like so aggressively, but like he'd like he just knew what the fuck he was doing. And I was like, what is.
This were standing or it was on the bed. We were in the bed, Okay, So he put it on the wall.
And then he told me to turn around, and so of course I turned around and he started eating my pussy and then he started fucking me and then he was like, suck that dick, and then we started sucking. I started sucking the dick. I was getting so into it, bitch. He pulled the thing off, he was putting it in my mouth. He was like fucking my mouth.
Oh yeah, I like it.
It was like the male male female, like not the well yeah, the male female, Like I didn't know that I needed, like I always envisioned it really happening, but like, I think this might be. This might suffice a happy medium. I feel like it's a happy medium because I don't know if I don't know, like I don't know if he's gonna let me do that. I don't know if
I want to, but I know I kind of dore. Yeah, but this this was definitely an experience, and I think it's like a It's something so simple that I never really thought about, you know, like anyone, Yeah, you just go get a dose. I have one, but I've never I've never thought to pull it out in front of a guy, almost because it's like, is it disrespectful.
Right, because they're already here. Yeah. No, there's not the more the merrier.
I know, but like I feel like men already feel worried about toys, So actually pulling out a whole ass dick that is in competition with his dick, maybe it's bigger, Like I have to make sure it's like comparable.
I don't know anything that is too big.
Imagine pulling out your section cock like it's just like it's huge, and he's just like what the fuck?
Yeah, well that's why I need a freeman.
Guess why I get you a freeman Because that freeman I was very pleased. So this is just a quick tip.
Horey tip brte that down for Mexico's pack suction tick.
I spit on it. Oh, use those things on it.
Oh yeah, I got these new dick sucking mints.
We found them on TikTok.
Yeah, we found them on TikTok. I can't think they're called right now, but yeah, thank you guys, We love you and we will talk to you next week.
Him