Can I Vulnerable? Feat. BJ Williams

We don't know.

We've been made up. Same day we a fight of my food stay up and I just lay yup.

It was had buddies passed stuff something.

Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy Honday.

How are you doing? I'm good? How are you?

I'm good? Wednesday?

Now on the last am I driven.

The whole Tuesday thinking it was Wednesday, Tuesday.

Basically over It's Wednesday, so it's actually Tuesday.

You will hear this.

It's Wednesday people usually it's.

Well. Now you know. We have a special guest today. We have Beja here.

Hello everybody, thank you for joining us, for having me.

You were connected to us through a mutual friend. Shout out to Brandon.

Esb appreciate your brother may Anisa.

Espy, who is one of my best friends.

There also are attentative video editors, photographer, event planning crew and consultants.

The cutest couple of all time and the cutest baby makers.

Of all times.

True, I am I'm very popular.

I don't get that under control. But Bja, thank you for joining us. Your last name is Williams.

Williams J.

Williams.

So can you tell us a little.

Bit about you and what you're doing?

Who you are? Who am I?

Damn?

A man with a deep voice?

Yeah, remind me to speak up because my voice is deep and I'm normally just like lo.

Okay, Well, this mike's pretty good and you're pretty sitting pretty.

So if you guys can't hear me, just turn your volumes up real very one.

Speech.

You can't hear you.

Speakers up, ladies, you can you see that sex me one time? Everybody's attention. All the ladies listening right now?

Who ladies, turn your volumes up. I don't even know if that was.

We're gonna use that for all the dry.

Who am I? Damn? Well, I'm here. I think I'm here because I started a document series called Can I Be Vulnerable. It's a this is a video series where black men open up to the world with the vulnerabilities. There wants, fears, they're all that kind of stuff. That's basically it. Other than that, though, shit, I'm in entertainment. You know a model I act. I've been doing that for almost a decade now as well. I've been a teacher for like eleven years as well, so I do both a former athlete.

I do a little thing here and there, Papa, your dad, I'm a father.

Yeah, I gotta. I call him my baby. Even though he's sixteen, I still call him my baby. So there's that.

Yeah, does he Is he still fucking with you? Or are you like annoying? Or is that only happened to moms.

Yeah, that's a good question.

No, my son is very much like I has. My demeanor is very laid back to so I don't have those kind of problems. And with kids getting older, my my concern is now is him out in the world. It's the things that I can't control that worry me. I'm not worried about my son. He's very well behaved, very respectful, loves people. But like what the world can do to him is what now scares me. And there's nothing I can do about that, you know what I mean?

But like, when did that happen?

Was it like like the time I'm talking about is like being a black man in America?

That one? Oh no, No. So We've had this talking a number of times with I think the very first time we actually sat down and had a really serious one was Trayvon Martin, and that was one of the first times I can remember as a father where I was like, fuck, I can't I can't protect him from everything, And I honestly didn't even know how to have that full conversation with him. I called my dad and it was like, you know, I can cuss on here, right,

But it's only just me, right, are you the mom or your single parent?

Single parent? Me and his mother are best friends. So that's my that's my girl. We were never together. We just my son was an accident.

That's a funny list.

You're the second guy who's coming on this show, and I was like, no, we were never together.

Was never supposed to that night wasn't even supposed to happen. It was one of those wake up and like we would never speak about this ever again.

Really wait, so you guys are just cool, cool, cool friends, best friends. I've been middle school like drunken, slept together, she got partnered.

That was like the only time to get that.

Ever was left again game with pulling and hennessy and that was it.

Oh she didn't have Has it taken time to get to this point or No.

We've always been that's amazing. We've always been tired. We've had one falling out and and honestly, I still don't really know the why behind it. I know the incident of where, but it wasn't that it was something else and we didn't speak for like two years, but that it didn't really impact my son, like nothing like that. But we had one one falling out and this one day, my son's basketball game, she just came up to me and gave me a huggin. We was just backbrocking again,

What's your son?

Believer M.

Triggered her baby.

Daddy October fourteenth. I don't know what none of this shit means.

I didn't know if I was balance made with balance with libras. It's either like it could be black or white. It could be like either really good or really bad.

A man for you for me? Yeah, it's not in general. Don't scare our guests.

No, I'm sorry my with my fake ass ostrological reading October fourteenth, I know about full other people with that birthday. And wait, so after you had your son, even though you guys had already been friends and you know, or were close, did you ever try to date or be romantic because you had a son or you guys.

Never forced that part.

No, we never forced it.

Oh that's healthy.

We never forced it. You guys seem very healthy.

I know, wow, very Yeah, that's beautiful.

It's very rare that had and I was leaving for college.

Oh yeah, you said you're eighteen school.

I graduated from Washington.

State, okay, and then you came back.

Yeah, I'm from Las Vegas originally.

Not many people I meet from laws and raised Vegas.

But you know, La is right next door. The was raised out here, so I've been in La all the time. I would come for summers, you know, as a kid up and all that stuff. So I'm very familiar with well, not one of those transplants. I'm very familiar with the free rays. Before y'all was You're not.

The same as a trans Now that makes sense.

Is your girlfriend, I mean your girlfriend, your son's mom from Vegas?

Too interesting?

So you have a son, you're doing this work. How can you talk about how you started to why you started?

I can't be I can't be vulnerable.

Can I be vulnerable?

Yeah?

Can I be vulnerable? Came up because I go to therapy and I wanted to find a way to talk about my journey to therapy. And it just came to me one day. I was on vacation and just the term cannot be vulnerable just popped in my head. I was just on the beach and it just kind of just hit me that way. So I got back maybe like a week later. I had another good friend of mine, Brandon Thomas. He does all the editing for the videos, and I just called him like, yeah, I know what

But what led you to this?

Like what led you to your therapy journey? And wanting to share that.

With you, know, with you, I'm one of those people that I have to do something. I'm gonna call it dramatic, but in order for me to because it was another part of my healing process, right, So I was like, and then another thing was is like, why am I suffering in silence? I talked to a lot of people, I have students, I heard their stories all the time. You know, a lot of people call me up with their problems, but it always seems like we all suffering silence.

Uh?

With putting me in therapy? Is my brother committed suicide And obviously that's devastating in itself. He's older. Make it more significant is that I was the one at the time. I felt like I failed him because I was the one on the phone with him trying to solve this problem. We're on the phone as he's tripping. How old were you when this happened? And so so not long ago.

Just it wouldn't be like gang violence or like, it would just be it's normal not normal life.

Yeah, and I'm like, you gotta be kidnaping.

So it's funny. We had another guest on Natasha and she suicide follows her. She's been witnessed to many suicide, like like three or four.

I've had a few friends commits.

More than three or four, like five or six.

Yeah, a few of them commits suicide. One was accidental. Yeah, there's a word purposeful.

I have like four is it suicide if it's accidental, if you do it yourself? I think it's like, man, I'm gonna call it.

I'm not sure if there is a term.

I don't know.

Why did you ever think like why is it that that death seems to follow you? Because it's funny because I've met a few people like this. I like, I have one person in particular, my baby daddy, who that seems to follow around too. But that's more so because he's been associated with like gangs this whole life.

And you know, I can understand. Or if you've been to war, that's.

Another that's a lifestyle, but he sometimes asked himself like why, and I'm like, what do you mean why? Whereas like for Natasha, she thinks that she committed suicide in the past life. So I don't know if, like if you've just had to search spiritually to try to reason why, or if it's just this is just how the world works in your world.

I haven't gotten that deep, but at this point is how my world has worked, and it may.

It may even be because again with my my psychic reading abilities.

By expertise and light psychic creating.

It maybe because this is very well the platform you know, you were supposed to be supposed to create, and and you have a calling.

Obviously, you know, i'd be right. I don't know, because I.

Believe everybody gets only what they can handle, and you know, who knows what the purpose is behind those there's always something bigger, I'd like to believe, And obviously in our community, particularly like black men have a hard time being vulnerable, being expressive, being emotional, and like a lot of times for us it's like you being a little bitch, you know, like that's I mean.

That's harsh, but that's what people say. I've heard I've heard men sit into their like four year olds. I'm like, what the fuck?

And you being a you know, obviously your your dad's president in your life. You can pick up the phone and call him, and your president in your son's life, and what do you think as a father, and you know, being fathered, we could do to like change that that perspective with our boys. It is like starting young until adulthood. That will change that a little bit.

Give them permission to be vulnerable. So don't tell them the man not don't tell them you're acting like a bitch. Also, we can take the initiatives ourselves. And I'm talking like because kids are already emotionally, they have no problems at all emoting whatever they're feeling. They'll tell you if they don't like you, if they're sad. They have zero problems. Is when the adults come in and say stop doing this is when you now learn what you can and

Like you're human, We go through ship, we cry yea. Growing up, were you given permission like what was.

Your what was your relationships? My mother used to always tell My mother suffered from depression as well, and she used to always say be strong. But she never told me what the hell that meant. I don't know what she means. She would be breakdown crying and she would just stay stay stay strong. I don't know, I love it. I don't know what this means. But they never if I would cry for something, they would never like stop crying or unless they would whoop and me like I'll

Were they married at the time, No, No, they weren't.

They got divorced. I was like ten, But they had known each other as they were kids, you know, Like, so that's a lifelong love, you know what I mean?

Well, married or not married?

Who but like you know they My dad was seven, my mom was five when they met for the first time, and so he had no you know, you guys are lifelong friends, whether or not the marriage worked or not. So not only did you lose you know, the mother, you know, your son's mother, but he lost a friend next wife. So uh, he cried then and then when I graduated high school in college, so those were tears of joy.

Mm.

Other than that, my father's extremely quiet, m very quiet, very reserved. If you speak to him, will speak, But my father's very reserved. He doesn't. He doesn't speak much a though.

So would you say he's a vulnerable person.

Hell no, Okay, my father is very You wouldn't know he was. It's hard to tell him if he's angry like you just you just want to know. He suppressed a lot of shit. So one of my goals is to get him in the theory when this niggas stubborn.

What does he think about your journey?

And like does he I mean, I'm sure, does does he support it or does he understand it?

Over joy like he is. You can hear this voice when he speaks like he's definitely hype proud and all that shit, I hear it.

Do you think that not being able to be vulnerable? I mean, I don't know what what why your brother committed suicide, and I don't even know if you want to share that, but I think not being vulnerable played a part in that, like him not being able to express his feelings or not knowing how to.

Deal with them.

The funny thing about suicides is designs are always there. We just don't pay attention to him.

Right.

So, ten years prior, my brother had a stroke and that changed his whole. If you know anything about strokes and all, they can change your whole, you can change you talk everything, all that. So my brother was extremely goofy, funny, talk fast and shit, there's always you know, love to be around people. And then he had to stroke and

Wow?

He would clean every single day OCD though. I mean the house was immaculate.

Yes, figure it out. You guys need to figure it out. You gotta share, a babe, you guys gotta share.

We'll try, we'll go make the castle or I'm putting it away.

Oh gosh, the drama of it all. Yeah, So that was the first big thing that nobody paid attention. Irritable.

I had no idea that a stroke could affect you, like your personality in that.

Because it's a psychological well no, it's a loss of oxygen to something, but it can't change you like you. Sometimes depending on the stroke, you can have to learn how to walk and talk and all.

This guy, it was my grandfather went through that and learned how to write again, talk, walk, Because it's like, yeah, part of your brain loses oxen and it's almost like decapit. It's like it can be rehabilitated, yeah, almost fully sometimes but sometimes no. I didn't realize that it totally like character traits can change.

So that's that's what happened to him. And with that comes to depression and all that shit LCD and all that. So but again I didn't. I knew he's like changed, but I didn't pay too much. I was gone. I was in college, you know what I mean. I never really moved back home either, So I was I was gone. I would just know, like if him and Mom's got my stepmam and got into it, they would she would they would call me like, hey, you know, we're beefing again,

So that's what it was, because that right when he that time, when that obviously that happened.

Had there ever been any like threats or an attempts.

Before that, not that I know.

Again, I didn't. I never moved back home, right right, fix, I never moved back home, so I wasn't around him every day but when I would go home.

But you were, but you were still the one that was the fixer, even though you weren't necessarily.

Present like, yeah, I get your brother, he treat me cause how.

Much older was even here?

Three years? Oh okay?

So yeah wow. Well so then that led you into after that?

Uh yeah, I was like, yo, you something was wrong with you again? Well how did you?

How did you deal with that?

I mean like did it a media?

Alcohol?

Another thing too? Around that time, I was in couples therapy. Me and that next girlfriend were a couples therapy.

Yeah, so therapy was already were already introduced to it at that point.

Couples. Yeah, we were in couples therapiy when this all went down.

That's pretty young to be in couples therapy. I thought I would w no, I think it's good. I don't.

I think a lot of like non married, younger couples don't consider that is an option.

It wasn't like I was just like, yeah, let's go. I s she was definite. You know what it was like. I never said no, I will let me say. I'm like, I don't wen't really need it. But I was like, all right, I put it on her to find it, like you find a therapist. And then I'd be like, nah, man, I don't like them. I'm not paying for that, Like I wouldn't make an excuse, it wasn't even about that.

Was it the same one that you guys were already seeing.

No, no, no, no, she couldn't. I don't legally, I don't think she could.

So have you see a couple as a couple, it's legally it's.

Like, yeah, it's like I don't know about legally, but they wouldn't want to, like unless we were going to come back as a couple. Biased And now she's seen us together, so she was like, unless you guys come back together, I don't want to see either or you know what I mean?

Are you still seeing a therapist? Isn't the same therapists you started?

No, no, I I have a black woman now. My

No?

first one moves Colombia.

Okay, Columbia. Yeah, why is it kind of what kind of very specific, specific.

Specific accent. I'm like, where are you from? She's like Columbia. I was like, all right, cool. And then I got a black woman because she moved, she changed offices. She's like further around. I was like, I'm not driving out there. And then I got a black woman, so I've been whatever since she's.

One thing I think I noticed amongst men that's different from women is that women we will call our girlfriends up and be like I'm coming over. I'm bringing this whiskey.

And I might cry.

You know.

It's totally normal.

To have this kind of like therapeutic camaraderie, camaraderie amongst women, to hug each other to be, you know, vulnerable with each other more so than I think it is men they do. I think it may be only give.

In your friends.

No, no, men get together and ya listen. I think there's no when a homies is hurt behind a woman, but not even behind a woman.

Maybe a woman, but not like what else deeper than that? Now time when guys it's very surface, that's not I'm digging deep.

And some of them do.

There are, don't get me wrong, there are, but like I.

Feel like I'll give you that. They'll do it and it won't be the conversation will necessarily come up. We'll just want to be around our guys in a way from that as opposed to be talking about it. So I'll give you that.

Or just like to embrace one another, to like hiss your friend on the cheek and be like it's okay, wait.

A minute, you want more? Should get rid of my glass?

Well, I didn't know. I thought I was gonna thought I was gonna knock it over. But he told you he threw away the liquor.

You were like, but no, this is the thing now. So now every year I don't drink for like four months out the year January second, there's no alcohol until like spring break ish. I do this every year, so that's, you know, get dried for a minute, then I can kill my body the rest of the year.

Sounds healthy, sounds really healthy.

She start off just to start off the year of clear mind. Uh, you know all that workout shit clean. At least I started portioning it the year out clear and getting into work, and then after that, whatever happens.

Have you ever tried to stop? Have you ever done it?

I'm like, I'm not going vacation, sweetest is not my thing. Yeah, edibles, alimals dying because I'm one of those people like what I'll call you after a shout or to you start feeling something for me weed, I don't feel anything right and then and so like edibles and shit. So I'll, you know, give me edible telling me all this shit trash.

I am not an edible person.

We're still right here.

Yeah.

I think I just keep fine. Yeah, okay, I'm not can't.

So you know, I keep my weed into too. Yeah. When I go on vacation then I'm small. But other than that, I won't do it here.

So so other than the document series having how many episodes did this part?

We have forty forty two guys recorded. That's a lot. Yeah.

You go about finding like some of more friends and they're just are they shy about opening up?

And what are you asking them?

Like?

What kind of questions? Like do you ask all of them to share with our listeners?

Are you when we do the videos?

Yeah?

Like what are or how I ask them to come beyond?

No?

What are the kind of questions that you asked them? So there are twelve questions start with. So how it works? You introduce yourself, who you are, what you do. You've got something to promote. I sell the book Illus, my name is and I do this whatever you want to intro yourself with. That's all you. We started about ten or twelve questions and it's normally and it's just to get you talking right. So the first one is like have you been in therapy? Yes or no? Depending on what you answer no, and.

What do you find? Mostly the answer is a.

Majority of I gone really well. Again, most of the guys are retired NFL athletes. I come from the athlete world, so a lot of a lot of my friends are just guys that I played against in college. And all that shit, and I've met along the way or just guys that grew up with. So most of the guys are athletes, pro athletes, and then my entertainment friends that I've met along the way as well, So all the

Like you want people to just I want I.

Want tomalize this wh I'm no longer needed. The idea is to normalize vulnerability for black man. So when you see a black man and he's opening up about whatever, he's not being shunned about it. He's not being called a bitch, he's not being told a man up or and or you know, I want to normalize it. You know, hey, man, amen, I feel like crap right now, and nigga listen to me, Boom, get it out the way.

Sure, go ahead.

So as someone that's you know, on this journey and empowering you know, men to embrace that vulnerability. What are your what are you like hanging out with your homeboys, Like, are all your friends like just open?

Me and my group of friends has been very open about everything in our lives. Okay, yeah, No, my group of friends have always been very open. We've never you know, it might take us a while to finally say something, but in all of my group chats, my guys are very and it doesn't matter what it is kids, you know, relationships just bad day to day. We've always and this is before I even went the therapy, so it's not like I went to therapy and all of a sudden

Very mature of your friends, very healthy and mature.

As I say this all the time, like I've.

Been very we might need to hang out with them, have any issues being vulnerable?

Okay men doing It's entirely different though, right, So I'm saying, like hanging out with a group of men, go Yeah, what does.

She evenburis, Oh, let's give them the whole thing.

We're going to continue this. So we got to wait for the.

Cold because we posit and we have the segment on our show where we'll play elevator music when the kids interact, so like, you know, it's real, Mom.

And Ship.

Almost don't know me. I've listened to about seven episodes. I do my research.

Which ones did you listen to?

Ship? All your most recent ones? Who was the Blood and Crib Baby Mama? I listened to The make Up Lady before that, the you guys have the one with the Medium? Uh did you?

By the way, if you haven't listened to our mom Cello episode, you're.

Missing, don't be a psycho. This is your reason one. Yeah, currently listen, Brandon says. So as he was like, yo, we were shooting, and he was like, you know, my you know, niece's friends have a podcast, and I'm one of those people like I support my friends and that ship.

Right.

I've been on Brandon maybe nine years now, and he said that, you know, her friends have a podcast. Thank you.

Thanks.

That's how friendships are supposed to know what I'm saying, Like, it doesn't take much for you to subscribe to something, to take listening to nothing out of my day, you know what I mean. Listen, it's not it doesn't take anything away from me to sit and listen to something and share it.

It's like, and my theory is, if you're friends with someone I'm close with, then we're like.

Basically friends and if they like you, you should I should like you and.

You should be yeah, right, like it would be your friend.

Okay, that's how we're friends, literally should That's how.

We so you know, yeah, I'm tuned in a bit. All right, we're back now you ready?

Oh yeah, we stopped. I didn't stop, but I know sometimes I do that. I can just cut that and start where we were just talking.

I got cameras, cranbers aways, got the cameras.

I'm back.

Okay, good, great, Oh okay, So I was asking it you have all these episodes, I mean all these you know, different men discussing their vulnerability, like what is your goal? Like are you going to create?

Like have you had meetups where people have.

Like, yeah, we'll be doing events soon. Again, I didn't say this, but I didn't even want to. I wanted to just do mine. It was for me. It was a personal thing that I was like, just do this for you being and I did it, and my son did want to. I was gonna ask you if you yeah, my son. I made my son watch me do it. My son comes here every summer for a vacation and ship, so he watched me do it. Where did you? But yeah,

Shit, fack so and you're devastated.

Too, exactly right. So I told him and he just I picked him up from school. We in a parking lot. He just had to look on his I don't never want to see that shit again ever. Hell now, and his heart just crumbled and I bald. He was crying. I was crying. I was crying one because I lost my brother, but I'm also crying because I just hurt my son with the news, you know what I mean. So, yeah, he saw me. He saw me cry at the funeral. And when his grandmother died, you know, I called him up.

Just going around. I have There's definitely been moments where I'm like wow, where I have.

Moments where I'm like, it's crazy the love I have. It makes me emotional, I know, you know.

But I also like to stay out of his way when he's doing things, you know what I mean, Like if he's playing sports or yeah, I like to stay in the back, like I don't you know. I try not to speak too much, like I cheer for him, of course, but I try not to, Like, I just don't want to take the moment away from my son. I be in a bat away, you know what I'm saying, Like I'd be in a bat chairing like a motherfucker.

Right, you know what I'm like.

You know what I'm saying.

You know, he told me to stop and be like, okay, which just chill.

I'll have a sign though. It's funny. And then so now you're like my son being older, he doesn't like me coming to a school and ship and.

That because he's older. I'm not ready for that.

No, yes, that, but but like girls, Yeah, I was gonna ask you.

About that because I feel like girls like what he doesn't want.

You to know the girl he likes. No, he doesn't want them to talk to him about his father. So I'll show up on campus and he looks.

Good, like they like, damn, that's no girls day.

Because you're so handsome and you are you look young?

Yeah yeah yeah, He's like like I got it because I'll show up on campus and they'll see me no text. I'm like, oh, daddy here. He gets really mad.

Oh no, He's like, dad, just pull around the corner.

He's like, yeah, he really does.

Like you know what, thinking back, there were some dads when I was a little girl, but I was like, who's.

That was my dad?

I'm sure yeah.

My father was like, oh, oh your daddy here, it's not your daddy. So he doesn't he doesn't like.

Me to you chill in the car. Okay, like older guys high school hose love and older man, sit your ass.

In the car if I go to his games, assumption I got to sit up top, like I can't wear a hat. I like to be close, like I like.

Son, they're letting him shame. You live your best life?

Tell me then, all the single moms at the school with my number, Oh.

Yeah, what's been your experience with that? Have you had like single moms like like throughout your education and like oh yeah, and as a dad and as a teacher. I mean, I know you guys, he lives in Vegas, but like, have you encountered like the single mom, because you know, a single mom's there's always a reputation that we like I were thirsty.

Yeah, we're just not safe. It's not safe.

You know what that is? Like an unspoken single mom. Everyone feels that way.

But it's definitely stereotype, like don't bring the single mom to the married party.

Is it? Do you think we made it that it real?

No, I think it is.

I don't think it's that deep. But I think there are people that think about her. Maybe don't trust you.

I've heard I've heard Mary will say they should not have single friends, which I think is very strung.

Yeah, I've never been married. How has it been being an educator?

Oh?

Yeah, even in the school, like being a teacher. Yeah, have you had any affairs with.

Science teacher?

Okay, you can tell us excited we got tell us school district stories.

It's happening in the faculty janitor's room.

We watched way too.

That sounds like I typically don't mix business with plus what I knew it. So at one point when I said I never really moved back, I moved back home to Vegas for a short period of time, and that's when I first got into teaching. I was teaching algib be full time and then I taught English after that. My first year teaching algebra, I had a mom walk into my classroom. It was fifth hour, walk into my classroom and she was like, oh, I came to check

I'm like, oh it was her daughter, like time mom.

Yeah, like her daughter looked at her. He was confused too, like I'm like, well, she's sitting down to my daughter. She was like what are you And so, you know, they chopped it up for a quick seconds. She's like, well, if you ever have any problems, and she gave me your dress, like I live at I forgot the address.

She's like, I live remember my address.

The address which is like right literally right down the street from the school.

She's ever from her straight up.

Please don't like no number, Like, please don't hesitate because I lived down the street from the school. And I'm like, she wear.

Like an extra sexy summer dress.

And she had a son, Catok. And I was at a club one time. And I was at the club one time. Man, she wasn't a student in my class. She was a student at the school, and uh, I don't know how word got around, but anyway, I was at the club my boys or whatnot, and I'm walking and she has an older sister that is around my age and her mother. They were all at the club together, and the sister and the mama, the older sister. So the student that I was at my school, she has

And I was like, double fist drinks.

I definitely had some hitty in my They're like, mister Willis and I'm like, yeah, what's up? And they did start asking me questions, but they would answer like one would answer the question, the other just asked.

And it was so you weren't saying.

I didn't really get a chance to. It was like, oh you teach at all?

My daughter?

U okay, all right, so what's up? And so the daughter pressed the issue extremely hard, and the mom called an attitude, So like, daughter pressed my issue with the are so like we're chopping enough with it. I'm faded at the times. I'm definitely just having a good time. So she pressed my issue like tough, so you know, exchange numbers. You know, I say bye to the mom. The mom gives me an all attitude.

This is not the same mom who gave you her address.

No, she gives me all attitude. To be clear, and I'm not trying to tell nobody business, so I can.

We don't know that mom.

Yeah, but they might listen. They followed me on social media, so like the whole family, they love, they love.

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm not gonna give super specific, but anyway.

We don't know.

Sometimes it was by me and a daughter hang out dude, due the mom and a daughter get in an argument.

So is the mama jealous?

She's coming to sort of coming to l A. And then she calls me like, hey, we're coming to LA coming with us for something to eat, And I'm like, God, for sure, just let me know when you get in, I'll link up with y'all. Boom. I get a call a couple hours later, she's like, Yo, me and mom just gotten to it. I was like, damn, what happened. I don't know what happened. She's like, apparently she's jealous that I jumped on you before she did, and I was like, well, you know all.

I could think about his best picture as a parent, and I.

Just really now in my head, I'm feeling myself right at the same time, I was like, it's cool and it's also weird.

That's kind of incredible, incredible, kind of like my poor and dream country, kind of like I knew this moment.

Last night on you.

I got some stories, man, I can't you know. I know your audience's moms. Are you kidding?

I got some stories our moms or not your mom next door?

No. One of my classrooms, I had a prep and prep was like it was block scheduling. She was like eighty minutes and am on a woman that I knew, though I knew her, she had got off for girls. She had a job, and if you came by my class like I'm stop by, I was.

Like her student goes to your school. No, she was just gonna come swing by works.

Because I was training too, and I was training, and she would become in the groups that I was training. Sometimes she's like I'm gonna stop by. She was happy she got the job that she interview before. I was like, you know, I'm at.

Work right so we can't really celebrate it NOWT.

Like, yeah, I'm grading papers and ship. This is when I was teaching English. I was greating papers like I'm just stop by, like all right, cool. So I'm in my class and when I'm on prep, I want nobody in my room. I turn off like half the lights, locked the doors, like, you know, no disturbances, like I like my piece. And so she can't buy a boom?

What's on prep like for the next class?

So you know you have essentially you teach five class and you have six hour off because by the law you have to have one right, So normally it's a prep he.

Alone time, yes and.

So, And I'm grading papers, not really paying her no mind. I'm like small talk though, how's the job and if you're going, how to go whatever. But I'm greating papers, not paying her no mind. And all of a sudden, she sits on my desk. No pennies on, Yeah, panties on. I'm looking right, so my desk details, so my desk as I'm sitting at my teacher's desk, you know, the student's desk right there, So she said an then she got up from that desk and set on my papers that I'm great, So that's how I saw.

Wait, okay, I have a question. How'd you guys have slept together prior to this point?

Oh? Okay, she was feeling she got the job. She said she had the signs that they were there that this could go down.

No woman's doing that women do.

If there's not any that's a pretty both shot at your job on your fifth hour.

I don't know. Maybe, I mean I don't I'm not a woman, so I don't know the like, I don't.

Know what happened.

Did you do it or not? Of course I did. Yeah, of course I'm gonna do Like I'm gonna turn that down at school.

Yeah, that's horry. Ever, I'm gonna turn it at school.

Cool.

I mean I would do it too.

Like, I have one question. Did any videotape?

That's your question? Really, I want to see that.

This was years ago. The phone wasn't uh visual, when you couldn't film movies on phones. This is a while back. But yet, of course, did you.

Guys like start dating after that?

Or like?

Was there any other classrooms set?

You have to be really quiet.

Did you put a hand or her mouth? Is there a little window those little like could anyone who walked in, like did you have to go on the back in the corner because of the window.

You could have knocked on my door, but my doors a lot, but you definitely could see oh bold, I'm not turning that down, not that, not that partectly. I mean you can't.

I really feel like you can't be a teacher and not embark on that journey.

You kind of have to.

I feel like that's definitely.

How you feel like you got at least Christian men.

And women together and then place consistently someone's fucking I.

Think specific teachers.

I don't mess with me, but I'm just saying.

But well, yeah, because that's like you can't working.

Plus I don't I don't make this working pluss, but people do. People do it all the time. I personally just don't mix business in any workplace, Like I don't mess with models and ship like I do not mix business with pleas. I try. One just wasn't for me. I don't need the business of question actresses, none of that ship.

I generally don't like this mixing business.

They're beautiful. Bird is fun, but not for me, rather not. But yeah, no, no, we didn't record that I was in the moment that the last thing I was thinking about was grabbing my phone.

Oh my god, little boldie. Yeah that's hot. Now, yeah, I think that's a good idea.

What what was the funny thing?

Right?

Just thinking about classroom sex?

Like I'll talk about being a teacher, and then sometimes I get like I've been asked a few times about the girls. I'm like, are you kidding?

No?

Who some guys?

Some guys those friends off there.

Yeah, I didn't say there were my friends. I'm saying in conversation, like, y's rape.

Save the house? Just because of that?

What Now, I'm just a sub substitute teacher, so okay, But when I.

Was tenured, wit, Wait, what what grade do you subs to teach them? Is there a certain just whatever?

Like so what l A U. S D. I just do secondary so six through twelve, and I'm also went down and unified so I can do K through twelve. I tried to just do high school.

But what are there as? I honestly don't even know how that's that's a tute t shirt. How it works, like you have to like you specialize in a certain that you do mostly.

English and history, can you do it all?

You got to know everything, because that's why I could never be a teacher because math, I.

Don't know do English.

When you said kind of like do you have to tell you to? But back to the weird topic at hand about.

You, Or they'll say something like the girls have grown. U'm like like, oh my god.

First of all, I'm you.

You know, those niggas exist, but when they were those at that age at one point, the part is.

That I was that student.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not that there's any hot teachers at my school, but I was definitely fucking guys that are way too old to be fucking with me, some of which knew how old I was.

And then my baby's daddy. It's very rapy, it is ray, it is right.

So my baby's daddy, my baby's dead, My baby's dead.

My baby's daddy was working out, you know, at the job.

He was working as a coach and for the boys, like maybe like a young boy's.

Team high school.

No not, this is like that. Yeah, my babydaddy was my high school start grown. He started working at a school.

So one day he was at the gym he had to take the girls volleyball team or something back to the gym, and he was like, jam like these little fucking stores, like what he's like in the cars, just like snapchat me that pussy.

Like you're just saying, you know, like grown shit. And have you seen the twelfth graders these days?

They look older than me, looked like twelve grades. But I mean, I'm only able to say this because I see them every day.

Well I think maybe because you also know their mind that the body doesn't affect you. But if you just look at some of these girls, they look grown. Like I just took my brother. My brother just went to prom.

And she looked like the picture though, yeah, go ahead, she did.

But even me, though low key, I always got to approach my older guys because I literally looked.

Like this because they were.

No, no, but I was mature. I know you're mature, but I was mature too. But that's not any reason to be like so it's not no, it's not. But I'm just saying that, like.

It was confusing, but here's my thing, right.

And then it wouldn't matter after that, but it should, but you know, I know, but I'm like, we have to be able to have this conversation with Lennen and Iri, because I think it's important that they know, like it's very rapy.

It's not about your maturity. It's not about it.

It's I was just speaking on like the look of high school girls when you removed from high school for so long, and when you did and then then you see one, You're like, oh, they look at like they look wrong. But no, as because I've been in education so long, you know what I mean, Like they do not look they look like they might be developed BodyWise. There's kids with full grown beers just still look eighteen. I had to go teen in.

High school, right and probably having one conversation.

You know what I mean, Like I had a mustache in eighth grade. Like I was one of those I had this voice in eighth grade, you know what I mean. So yeah, I got another story. I had sex with my teacher when I was in high school. So I was one of those kids you were like all the episodes. I was definitely that kid in high school. I definitely she was married.

Wait in twelfth grade or what grade?

I was a senior?

Were you where are you this thing?

This is my thing with her? You were friends on Facebook? That's funny it's not the appeal isn't the same. So did she seek you out or did you seek herss?

So this is the thing, see him seeking out his teacher, and this is the thing.

I uh. Ever, since my freshman year, she would say little shit and my immature mind wasn't picking up on the cues. It would be shiped like she wasn't. I never had her for in a class, like she wasn't my specific teachers, the teacher at my school, I've never had her for a class. But you know, walking around campus, I would walk by the room or walk by her and she would say dumb shit like you know me, me, we got b for some shit like me me in

She like that.

She'd like, you know, comes to the class after school and I'd be like, hah, I keep walking. I never picked up on it until she started throwing parties at her house for the students. Yeah, so one of my classmates that one of my classmates ended up moving in with her. She was because she was damn the orphaned, you know what I mean. So she ended up living with her and then you know the years she started throwing these functions and ship cooking all the food, liquor, drinks, weed.

How old did you say she was?

She was twenty nine? Oh wow, married two kids?

Do you where was her husband and two kids?

I don't know where the hell? Do I look like? I was worried you were? Do you consider that statutory? Yes? I do? Do you think legally?

Well?

Do you?

What do you think about your mental state?

Then?

Like, do you think that you're old enough to make that decision? Or you were manipulated and taking advance?

I was. I did not feel manipulator. I was a willing participant, Like I did not feel like she took advantage of me. I was like more than happy too.

But do you think thinking now that you're an adult.

Oh, it's statutory, right, yes, do you see?

But I'm wondering what his mindset was because we didn't think it was. You know what I'm saying.

This is a teacher for me.

This is that for me when I was taking up with an older guy, I was like, thought I was cooler of cour I could do things that my friends weren't doing.

But but then when you.

Look back at it, do you see how like like with alcohol and a sixteen year old girl involved, Like it's like.

See, I wasn't drinking, so it wasn't like I was drunk, you know what I mean? Like I was a drinking I was sober as the motherfucker. And this didn't even happen at.

The part she text me and you came to that.

On a random school night and you went of course, of course random school night. I had just got myself. I just got it.

How old we even watched Your Virginity fourteen by some of the same age.

Yes, I had just got my phone and my boy gave her my number because he was talking to the classmate that was living with it. And I got the text from her and she told me a real. I didn't even know a real name until she texted me. Yeah. I used to just call her by her name. O my god, and she gave me your first name and I was like, I only know who the fuck is this? And then she's like missus. I was like, oh, oh, okay, Now what's up. She's like, I was eating. This was

I'm going you know what.

She's like, man, my husband's gonna come over.

Oh.

And then she just came in and got right to it. There was not much conversation.

She's like, let me know when you're done eating. How buy shower? Gave me the address? Like okay, She's like yeah, I stopped eating and left. This was late. Like I literally was like, listen, I got I'm not waiting on this. I'm not waiting on this. I stopped the meal. I stopped my meal, paid my ship dipped, like I gotta go.

English teacher is calling.

I left. I left. I didn't even finish eating and he was like, where are you going?

You didn't tell anybody that.

I told my father that morning.

About the teacher.

He knew, he knew it was a teacher. I got home about five, but.

He knew it was the teacher.

Can tell the stora give it to you. I got home and had to be like five. My dad wakes up about five. Ye that's about five something, you know, does his thing before he goes to work. And he was like, nigga, what the fun was you? I couldn't wait. You're not gonna beleave this. I'm home at five because I was at and I said the name and he was like, who the fuck is that? I was like, you know teacher at DP. You said, get the funk out of here. The smilest like.

Dad's the difference between dad's and sons and will whoop my kids?

I said, pop? He said, bullsters, You're not even was like, that's my boy. Gave me some pound and he's like, just make sure you get your ass to school on time. I started school late. I had. I didn't have first or second hours talking about this.

What would you tell your son? What would you what would you tell your son right now?

Next year?

What would you tell your son if you came home at five in the morning with this story the teacher to the club kid?

Shut up, shut up. Welcome to the club kid.

This needs to be talking about.

I'm talk to her, though. We would have to have no not no, no, she like that. We would have to have a conversation like, Yo, you know my son's going to raise all that shit, but not double standard. Call it what you want, toxic masculinity, call it what you want. I'm gonna have to admit this one. I'm gonna have to pound my son up, like, Yo, welcome to the club, k. It was good.

What if your daughter came home and slipped through the same motherfucking story twelfth grade?

This is the ship, right, I just said stuff double standard? Right. I am not going to be angry at her. I am going to do my best not to chastise her or make her feel less than her belittler. No, I'm going to kill him though, That's what I thought I was waiting. No, No, he's going to he's going to see me a sap. I was waiting for that, but for my daughter.

No, why is that different though? Like, why is it is it more?

No?

I'm going to kill him, but I'm not going to tell her the teacher that did it.

But that's something. But there's a little part of you that was going to kill him.

But you're all still going to laugh because you're kind of but where's with your daughter?

You wouldn't you haven't.

I'm not going to kill the lady teacher, no, because I don't women.

She's going to see if your daughter did it.

My daughter didn't know, he's got to die or if she has to die.

It's straight anger if your daughter did it, But if your son did it, it's anger, but also kind of like huh the block.

But it's even more crazy, well.

Again from my daughter once again.

But I'm just that's so crazy to me, Like why is that?

But I also know the patriarchy in this as well, like all that plays into it for.

Me, I know, but it's so interesting.

It's such a manipula thing.

And I'm not saying that women are dedicating time and work and dismantling.

And in this other way. It's such a devil.

Fucking it is it is. I didn't make that.

Are you open to changing my perspective?

I mean, do you.

Do you see the problem definitely it's problem.

Of course, I'm not senior saying like it's not. I see all the I see it. I see the problem with me. I see the problems. I know it's double standard. I know it was talking of my sculinity. I know all of that. I get it.

I told you the words're human socialized.

I'm socialized. I'm still unlearning a lot of things. That's still rape, that's still statutory rape. What happened to me. I was a willing participant. I was more than happy to I could not wait.

To do it, like I do not feel like, no, yeah, I don't feel like a victim personally, I personally do not. You feel like it was her responsibility to do that in yours to not.

Basically, you're not supposed to fuck your students period, right right? No, like at all? Let alone, you're a minimum a decade older than me, you know what I'm saying. But again, well that's the.

Fucking party, Okay, not that.

But the truth is the crazy thing is it's like, at thirty eight, I could definitely date somebody forty, you know.

Like, but thirty twenty is.

The biggest different, huge I was thinking about.

That they need somebody forty have thirty different.

The tools that we made our age because they are rules. Someone made up these rules and we're like, okay, they did not and I'm not saying that they are They're not needed, but I'm just saying that at the end of the day, just like anything else.

That's actually that's also social socialized.

We don't need people having sex with babies.

Yeah, like that's crazy because then someone would argue that we are all human and people were trying to argue that, which is even.

We're trying to put pedophilia on the LBGT, which is so disrespectful to the LGBT. It's a small group, but it's a group. Nonetheless, what.

They vacation made Okay, this is like their favorite play vacation because mind.

You'll follow the page. Yes we took the y know, but you guys vacation we did without the dogs.

We took them to Mexico twice, like once the Rosavita we drove and once to the cup I wait no, I mean Lahana Luda told me the other night, I want to go to I want to go to that that that Mexico mom.

Yeah no, no.

The second like like this one, I was a cop. She's like, yeah, this not the one drug I want to be.

You have to fly. Yeah, Like I said, if it was my daughter, I would kill him, And if it was my son, I wouldn't kill her because I don't hate women, but she definitely would have to see me because I know it's satutory right. So although I would give him the welcome to the club, I would not negatively respond to my daughter in that way, but I would definitely let her know like this is statutory right. There's no reason why a grown ass man she'd be

I think you know, I message you as as an under eighteen person, Like say your parents found out you were sleeping with a twenty nine year old man and they said, Jamila, that's statutory rape.

Like effect, would it a chain? Is your mind? Or was you even like shut shut up? Yeah?

First of all, I thought I was lying and I'm being and getting dropped off and doing all types of function to go be like Katana, I was like so dumb and young.

So I doubt I.

Was a club in too.

I was like I was driving at fourteen, Like I wasn't like yeah did nanda car? Were like sixteen going at berries and like just being dumb and getting drunk and blacked out and shit.

So I mean, I'm sure there were comments like that, But.

At the same time, I don't know.

Somehow I was still getting picked up by like thirty year old guys in front of my house like okay, bye, and like why is someone in the range over picking up your high school student and was noticing?

Yeah, we I grew up in a very open household, so sex was never taboo in my house. Really, yeah, not at all. My parents were very, very old with sex. They wanted to know, they wanted to know what their kids were doing and not make it weird, and they didn't. They never made it weird. They never made a taboo. Do you have my sisters?

So even with them.

They were always very open, which for me was great. It was it was amazing to have that kind of open dialogue on my parents. With that being said, sometimes you can be too open and so even just me being like having going to have sex with a teacher or any older woman like my mom's friends, like my stepmam's friends used to be like, just tell you to come home please, and like, no, Now she would never

So said, can you imagine haven't because I.

Can't imagine having a son getting older it was still gonna look good, you know, maybe it'll be fifty. And then they have like a twenty year old homie that like looks good, can you Because I have a homeboy who told me he's fucked two of his homeboys moms.

And I'm like, you know, after eighteen shickens. So it gets the first slope.

About that homegirls moms.

Oh, so you talk about your homegirls moms. J you know you're quiet, but you got to.

Know he's an a the story ship. He's really laid back. You want some more whiskey.

From Las Vegas, from the City of Sin It's different.

Did you tell your homegirl, you slept with her mom?

Her?

What? What did you just step talking to you? Guys? Have you seen her mom with her?

Like?

What does it even work?

Fun?

Up?

All of you? Have you had sex with her too?

No?

No, oh my god, have you No? Not that one?

Oh, not that beautiful, beautiful mermaid.

You really don't want this. I'll take it.

Well, this is a lot to taken.

I've lived a very fun you know.

I'm happy you're here. You you your brand aligns perfectly with ours.

We believe in fun, and we believe in vulnerability and being transparent and putting it on the internet.

It's also our therapy.

That's why we're here a Twitter at the times. It's not like I've tweeted these things, you know, I don't know how to Twitter. Twitter is to me the best that on the planet.

I really I don't like Twitter.

I love Twitter.

I've never I've never gotten on Twitter.

I've got on Twitter for like a day, and.

It does make me feel like I don't know who's can hear this?

Because for me, like I said, i've tweeted these stories before.

I need to see image. I know what you can, but it's not the same.

I don't really care. But I'm also more into the conversation. I'm also more into how you think of what you're saying. The pictures are just pictures of ship to me, like all right, I'm a double tap and keep moving like that. She doesn't move me like that.

I know.

It's like almost like when you see a really beautiful Instagram person all the time, like fuck, that girl is so beautiful and then she does one video like oh no, don't talk.

I know, I don't know. I don't go there. This is educated at me too, though, so I'm always like, you're so this is like you know, just don't get me wrong, I'd be like, yo, I will never would never talk to this one. Proud what I'm always thinking, like, man, who was your teachers growing up? Because that's just trash. True, That's that's just my thinking.

Secrets to tell.

These are just coming back.

And yeah, we have the segment on our show called Horror Stories that we do and we didn't even tell you, but you basically already told us story.

Yeah, we're gonna have.

To insert the sound clip, but like so it's to be like something like really terrifying or.

Bad or like on horror stories at all horror horror emphasis on.

Horror stories that are either like scary or crazy.

High horsh levels.

Give you yeah, yeah, you did, Yeah, because what I'm saying, you've already like given us our bory.

We didn't even have to ask.

These aren't the secrets. I've talked about it secrets, but you know things like you know, the's have been tweeted about that our ladies would like to hear about ladies.

Now they have fantasies and classroom you know, panties on the desk.

Man, I had a student leave panties on my door?

Oh what did you have? Do you have to talk with every period? Like, listen, whoever did this, I'm gonna kill you.

No. I took a pencil, picked it up, put it in the bag, took it to the principal's office. Yeah, I've had I've had numbers on my car. I've had a girl I coached as well, and so my athletes have my number. I've had girls get my number from my athletes and text me and ship. I've had I'm.

Going to have to do. Do you deal with that?

Do you have to report it or do you.

Or do you ever address it? Like, listen up, class.

Address it, number handies on the desk.

Yeah, That's what I'm saying. And then how do we address it? Because the hormones.

I think it's the hormone levels, you discovering your vagina.

It's just so I address it, and it's for me. It's an awkward conversation because I don't want to to encourage it more not that is just I don't I don't feel like the hot teacher. Like I don't feel like the hot teacher. I'm dismissed, Webb, like come in, I do my thing and go to home. So I don't feel like the hot dude on whatever. Like so even me saying like, hey, do not leave your numbers on my desk. So it's like weird to even say that, you know what I mean.

I don't want I don't want to to keep it.

Moving, Yeah, like just keep it moving.

Do you ever go into like the teacher's lunge and like, dude, are you getting numbers on the cartoon?

And honestly got true. I a good buddy of mine. I call him jay Z's name is Joey Joey Zimmerman, handsome white man. Women loved him he got panties on his door. So we would sit at lunch and be like, dude, like I need to see jay.

Z getting really pants. I don't remember panties on the door. Have teachers.

It was like, I wouldn't do that.

No, I feel like it's getting out of hand. This is like music videos Instagram, Instagram.

That hor harshness is being more celebrated, and so the.

Small teenage students are like, fuck it, shoot my shot.

We used to sit at uh. We used to sit at lunch or sometimes. And jay Z is one of my really close friends to this day. He moved to Chicago. Now you know he's teaching and coaching out there as well, but you know we used to sit at lunch and and and all that. Then another friend of mine that I grew up with, Kenson, he's actually one of the alumni. He has a he did a video for Cannot Be Vulnerable. He was a sub. He was subbing at the high school.

Vice principal was trying to get him.

Oh yeah, she sent me news to my phone one time in the middle of class and then had and then in her office.

Yeah I need to know where she was. And then you know, the school system made to say and.

They had the hall monitor call me like on the class proem and say yo, B no no no, no, like B. Miss so and so said, did you get the pictures?

Oh? My god? Oh he didn't even know what he was asking, not at all. What did you say?

Yeah? I just said, yeah, I got him. You're being harassed, do you know that?

Dude?

Hr? Yeah, you're actually you're being sexually harried.

This might be a case for you.

This isn't mean to moment it was, but it wasn't.

It didn't feel like and she also or do you enjoy it?

Do you enjoy it?

No?

But she did enjoy the attention.

A little bit.

Does it feel good?

I mean it's flattering, yeah, But to say like I feel like the man because of that.

I don't.

I don't feel like like the vice principal sent me some news. She wasn't even attractive.

Are you are you currently in a relationship right now?

I'm single?

Okay?

Are you on dating apps?

Have you ever been?

No? I don't even I really don't do. I don't do social media MAC and period. Really, it's very old fashioned way. I think, introduced by mutual friends or we're just I am out in public. I really do you.

You don't strike me as the kind of guy to like go like, hey, can I get your number?

It's mostly the girls come to you. Mmmm. It's mixture. Okay, it's a balance. I'll go introduce myself. Hi will dance whatever we're doing by your dreams very mysterious. But I don't. I don't. It's very rare that I that. I actually, I don't think I've ever just dove into a random women's DMS.

And you never slid in any woman's didn't and slide into Michael.

Jordan's and then I deleted.

I was off the top of my head. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever just slid in a random woman's dam that I didn't know prior or I hadn't met before.

Okay, yeah, I think that's pretty not Yeah, random slide.

Is random, like oh maybe Black Planet Days. Okay, planning that's young. So yes, Black plan of Days I did, but that's what it was there for. My Space, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. No, no, no, I've either had to met you at some point or we have mutual friends. But I don't dive into random women's dams. It's just not me. I just I don't like old fashion.

Do you introduce what many day to your son?

No?

Have yout he's.

Met women randomly, but like you have to just if we're just out public and you see us. Yeah, but I don't just you just don't meet my son. Give me and my parents all day. I don't give a funk about that's it. It's not special to me. Me, my mom, my dad all day. Like, give me my parents all day. That doesn't meant that if I formally make it a point to introduce you to my son, I think you're special and I feel like we're going to build something right, even that takes a long.

Time because they ever developed an attachment to somewhere, I've been disappointed.

Okay, so is that you're why that's your role now?

Well that was always just been to me. I never wanted him to see dad with a bunch of women. I've never experienced that.

I've experienced being a kid, I guess sort of, but yeah, to experience that as a parent must be I don't know, be awkward, difficult, like like if you were dating someone and your kid ended up loving.

That, I know, loving that.

Yeah, obligation almost like that's one of the main reasons. But I just, you know, never wanted him to see dad with like a multiple women. And then when I got into relationships and yeah, you're all good ladies.

Bye later, dance mermaids. Okay, get the dancing.

This is too cute.

I love it. Go dance disco.

Well we should wrap it up anyway.

Thank you for coming. Yes, thanks for coming and driving out to the ballet. Conversation took the strange churn.

I thought we would be more on the vulnerability.

No, we should, definitely. I mean I think we did it really well, you know, like.

I think, you know.

Please let let our listeners know where they can find your Instagram, how they can find you.

So me, my Instagram is DJ Underscore Underscore Williams. Twitter is the same thing, and.

You love Twitter, guys much.

Cannot be vulnerable. Instagram is just cannot be vulnerable, and the links to our YouTube pages is on there, so you can go right there. Same thing for Twitter. C I B vulnerable. Everything links to everything for that. Like I said, it's just a docuseries. We can watch a bunch of professional black men talk about their mental health and you know, coming of age. There's a bunch of stories that hopefully you can relate to. And now we got to ride range of shit. Now I think about it.

Mean, it's so's there's so many stories.

We've got some specifics. Like I said, we're on episode.

Thirty makes it makes you remember, like you know, sometimes you can be and you're so wrapped up in your own world that it feels like that's the only thing that matters.

Well, there's people out there going through so much.

Check but yeah, check out the episodes. Man, there's gonna be something for everybody.

Where do you check them out? It on YouTube?

Yeah, you can go to my Instagram and cannot be vulnerable. You'll see like the clips and then there's it's on our ig TV. But also in the bio it's YouTube every Thursday, so it's hashtag therapy Thursdays, hashtag can and be vulnerable And therapy Thursdays came because I was just going to therapy on Thursdays. But I was also thinking, like, you know, you got tvt you know, to give your

You just how I feeling.

Yeah, just check in with your mental for therapy Thursday, if you don't do it any other day, doing on therapy Thursdays.

Check on your.

Friends, yeah, check on your friends. So, like I said, check out the episodes. There's gonna be something for everybody. Yes, it's only black men. We do nobody else, but that that's just my community. We don't again, we haven't been given permission, we haven't taken the initiative, and there's no safe space for us. So check it out. You'll love it. You'll cry.

I don't think well, I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming.

Back having me, and we'll see you guys next week. Make sure or to follow us at Good Moms Underscore Bad Choices. We have some cool merch on the site, so make sure you can check out our new merch at our web on our website www dot Goodmom's Bad Choices dot com.

And we'll be in New York and we'll be in New York and then at the first week.

Yes, so hit us up because we're trying to go to like hang out with you guys.

You know, yes, yes, I used to live there, but it's been so long, like I don't know what's cool anymore.

You know, it's always changing to hang out. Years I used to stay from.

This is my first time going to hang out, but that's changing for the best, for the better, for the better anyway.

Oh, yes, we will be doing events for everybody, men, women, kids, so be on the lookout for that. I got a few things in store, event planning and all that stuff. So now to get the community involved, the mom's involved, we'll be there. Please please be on the lookout. We will definitely be doing events.

Are there with our stage, I come through encouraging people to be vulnerable, to have.

The ladies like I did another podcast and with my platform and they talked about one of the hosts his mom. Him and his mom were estranged, right, they don't speak much, And we were talking about the effects of yah, baby, You're talking about the effects of motherhood, the effects of growing up with the mons that they had on them. And you know, his mom heard it and called him for the first time in the year.

Wow.

And so they are now going to start meeting because now he's in a different space now. But he had a tragic gest story. Damn that shit had me crying on air. But we need the ladies around because you guys just have to see men just be open.

And vulnerable and you don't know what that where that leads when you're vulnerable, Wally, you're helping just by being vulnerable, by being honest.

And I think also men need to be able to be vulnerable around women too.

It's good practice for men. But I'm gonna tell you this because you need incentive, because I know how we are. We need incentives. Listen, fellas opening up and being vulnerable, you do not understand how the women respond to it. I get d ms all the time about the alumni. Is he single? Can I get his number? Listen, you open up, you get your little get your issues out, be honest with yourself. Love it you love it. It's a commercial sensible this is a byproduct. I didn't even

For the place.

But what I can say is woman loves a man digging through his ship.

I love. I love a man who said he went to therapy.

Are you.

We met one of Erica's friends at the sower House. You're talking abot high school therapy. I was like, oh my god, mental health is so man, so sexy.

I'm not saying it doing it for the women. I'm just saying it's a byproduct of it. You're doing it for yourself because you want to be healed, because you harboring a whole lot of hurt for no reason.

But a by product is you know that might be a woman or two can relate it or will stamp all over your heart, awful heart.

Alright you guys, Well we'll catch you guys next week.

Bye, consleutely lit fad away.

We still fly.

High crash, So that's why I show you passy.

No, you can't imagine me something mat.

Your name is mad.

We don't have to make