Boo'd Up, Break Up's and Ego Trips

As smooth as a baseline, and I got hopes and dreams, So chase yours, and I'm a chase man. In the daytime, Mama was laid low. Platten on how to come up on some change so I can throw the homie gain the rain drover. Two pays here, So the game's over for all the clowns.

I didn't think of.

Agle to shut the ship down. They didn't know that I could give down like a motherfucking pool. I'm cooled as a band, and I'm a fan of the man that blesses me with the recipee to teach the mess.

It's it's up one of.

My glasses and get down the breast tax s. It's a rap and it's a wrap. Shut the fucking page. You might see like your dick con. I'm pretty sick though, piplos. I got a buddy that flips those that CALLI drove. You don't live in Cali in the valley though, but you know we get a very young deck life valley. Go oh, it's Ironica's pay ain't paid it all hardly?

Get a's what's up? We're back, We're hey, Hey, Hey, what's up? It's good. Prince advisory. Are we still doing mu?

Should we just throw it out like we got a break? I think we're just good Mom's bad choice.

Why didn't no one get back on it? No one cares. We got to make the executive decison.

Okay, good Mom's bad choices, So fort Advisories out, it's out.

We got to like contact iTunes and I just feel like it's too many words.

It is to me words.

Okay, so hey, welcome back. It's good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica, I'm Nila, and this is our podcast pitches.

We're back, bitches. We took a it's been two weeks.

Three.

I don't think we've I think it's been two.

Well, I know that they're like, mathematically there's four weeks and every month.

But we posted another one when we were gone just one.

You're right, three, So we've been gone three weeks. Listen, look into our logic. Every month has one, two, three, four weeks.

So we've been gone three weeks. We've missed you guys a lot.

Really, I feel i've been I was like, I need to get back to this. I know it's like therapy. I was like, I need to get back to this.

I was feeling like.

We're in my room by the way right now, because it's four hundred degrees in the valley and so my room has air conditioning.

So that's my watch going off. You heard that.

Welcome to this very intimate place where the magic happens. This is my bed. Remember in cribs, always be like, this is where the magic happen.

You see the silk pillows I have here and this plush champagne colored velvet throat very coordinating.

And for all of you listening, you gotta go on YouTube as soon as we ever eventually post these visuals.

I swear we record our episodes, we just we forget to post them because we're high. Oh man, Yeah, anyway, that's another thing. We got high and we just lost.

Oh. By the way, that song that you just heard was by Ryan Spencer. He submitted some music to us. We are taking music submissions. If you have if you play the violin, or you or you sing, or you play the guitar, or clarinet, clarinet spoken word, I'm maybe else have been our first one.

Do it?

You can submit a test uh parental advisory.

So everything's gonna change except our email because now it's permanent Prinal Advisory GMBC at gmail dot com.

Right, okay, so Ryan Spencer, Yeah, I was kind of feeling it.

I mean I like that.

I mean it's not a sample. He literally took the coffee Brown Beat and wrapped over.

It after the party. That's girls somewhere.

Something like that. But yeah, you know what, because it is just like that song. It reminded me, Hey, Spencer, where's the fucking chorus?

I liked it.

I was liked stuff.

We ain't got stuff. I was like, is that gonna come now? Yeah? So you don't girls like to sing along? You need a chorus, dude, Yeah, for you need that chorus. But thank you. We appreciate it. But I liked it.

It was like chill like it got me like and.

I think there was a couple of LA references.

Yeah, you shout out the valley hey, And I think Titty is Marti Gras or something like that.

I'm about Yeah, we ago that's the next plan after this trip. I don't know if we have.

It's in February.

This trip I just got off of. I don't know if I need to go anywhere.

So speaking of it, we've been gone for three weeks because Erica has been When we were in New York and we.

Saw that that was our last episode.

With Wheezy Horrible Decisions.

Hey hey, if you didn't listen to it, you should, but shout out to Whezy.

She like I love watching her stories and.

Her She is fucking funny. That's the type of girl you can'tnot like.

Ever not I like you. Yeah.

So that was the last episode, and after that, Erica here went on a full Spanish Spain tour. I did, and I know she has lots of juice to tell us.

I was in New York, but mine was not as fun as this girl.

I just it's my first like girls trip with well, I guess it's my but like, I've never been to another country.

Well my birthday was kind of that, but I don't know.

This was just different the last oh you did? Oh yeah, but it was a little bit more. The baby came. It was a less time, right, are we gone this time? Twelve days?

Yeah?

Two weeks, two weeks with any even a week with anyone?

Twelve days, three girls.

This is sae, let's hear about it. It was dope.

We went to Barcelona first and that was beautiful and we then we we had we had a really good time. I ran into a friend, my friend out there randomly. I felt really like, oh, this.

Is what I do. But no, it's not right.

You know what.

Actually we have a mutual friend kind of who was in a visa like one day the same as your in visa and they kind.

Of know you.

But he was like, I don't know if she'll remember me. I saw she's out here. I was like, okay, never mind, who was it.

I don't know.

Should I say Troy, No, Troy, Where do I wan know I'm from?

I don't know.

Figure it out.

He should have hit me up girl visa So okay. So Barcelona was dope.

You know.

We went out there, had a little how it was warm up or warm up city? We definitely had fun. What was your up city in Barcelona? Okay, that's where we warmed up?

You know, we drank.

I heard like the inner like where it's not at the coast, is a little more calm, more mild.

We were in the city like it was We're in the center of city like in Barcelona. So but we were there for like two days basically, and then we went to a visa, and we were in a visa for like three and a half days, and no one should be allowed to.

Stay in a visa for three and a half days. Oh shit.

If we like people were there had been there for like two weeks, I'm like, how.

The fuck isn't really that intense?

I mean, you can escape and it's it is really beautiful.

You can escape if you can have a different different types of experiences there, because I know what I mean, Like you can have your party experience that it's known for, right, like it's hardcore already nowadays. Yeah, it's for sure, like it's like the Vegas of Europe.

Some shit on the island.

It's still beautiful and not like polluted yet oh wo yet, you.

Know what I mean.

And then we went to Abisa, which yeah, so a visa. Then we went to Madrid and then we ended at in San Sebastian, which is on the coast right. Yeah, it's like it's in the south and it's like the food mecca of Europe.

Wow.

So we had the oysters and ship that was Madrid.

Oh yeah, but Madrid has mom food too.

They have like three Michelin star restaurants there, which is really rare and like, yeah, but I got stick out there. But girl, I definitely have a hurry from Spain. I can't wait to share it later in the episode. And I definitely felt like I fell in lust in Spain.

So there was that because Erica always I feel like you and trembling lip. They is they're like constant on like random vacation is not on purpose but by mistake.

Together. You met him on the ski slope.

Yeah, yeah, so I met him, so me and uh uh yeah.

I trembling lips.

Wet.

We're done by the way, we're done, so that we're done dating.

This is my This is like I guess, like not important, but it's like the first time I've like dated someone and now it's over, you know, since my relationships. So it's like, oh, I feel like very mature. I'm like, I'm a real dater, like a wonderful person. Completely broken up, well not broken, but no, it's true.

It is.

He's one situation down.

I have popped my fucking dating chair now officially officially.

Well, you kind of also broke up with the couple.

Oh my god, what did I tell you about that?

How like?

Because oh my god.

Yeah, so the couple, So the couple, I just I can't something I can't do all the time.

It's just I'm not interested in doing all the time. And also like you know, like I'm trying to have my daity, like to write this is something he's like. I thought, was like, why do we have to always schedule?

I don't know? But husband couple split into Jamila's d MS and I brought it to his attention.

You did, Hell, yeah I did.

I was like, that's whack.

Like like, I just feel like, did I say that in New York?

I don't remember when you told me.

I think it was before that, but you know, I was thinking, I liked podcast think we are?

What do you think that said? You're just gonna you are my pup? You're gonna hop and skip up here. I know I'm into that. You know you I supposed to tell you.

I don't know. I don't think this is allowed. I don't know good. I was really bad. But now he apologized. He was like, yeah, I thought about that.

I realized, like I thought you were done and moved on from us.

So we moved on.

So I did that Like that was that was thirsty? I shouldn't I should have done that. It wasn't her, It wasn't the wife.

It was the husband. Men can't help but be thirsty.

They really can't.

They got a shoot, they cannot help but be thirsty. I thought it was funny. So even if you're a couple and you're dating someone, the we're honestame.

Will still apply.

Okay, there's no unless I say so, yeah, unless yeah, but then you say so first exactly.

I don't know.

I'm just in the space where I just like transparency about everything, maybe to like, oh, like an extreme at this point, but it's just working really well for me. I just expect it from people and I give it to them, and then you don't. I'm like, Caroline, just be honest. Let's just be I know, you know what, I'm being honest.

The thing is that, though I just noticed, I'm really into transparency too.

I think you planned the seed in me.

But you know, this sounds terrible.

But as I get like closer with young boy dab he we're actually official now as my boyfriend, I.

Feel like, I know, I didn't know breaking, I had no idea as a boyfriend.

I mean, I assume so, but but I feel like the transparency.

My willingness to be transparent is like I'm more scared, like I'm more scared of being judged, and you.

Feel like, okay, these are real feelings now, yeah, and I'm like, wait, I don't like that part.

I'm not feeling this because I don't want to be like a facad either, but clearly it's this is what you get.

But yeah, I understand. I feel the same way.

Transparency is so important and you live free or you feel lighter, like this is what it is.

I take it or leave it, you know.

I mean, I'm open take it or leave it, but I'm still open to change and like acknowledging if I'm wrong and growing, you know what I mean. Because some people are like, this is who I am, and this is who I am. But my dad is kind of like that, like I'm being honest about who I am.

Don't try to change me, right, you know what I mean. It's just kind of respectable, respectable.

But that's sometimes I'm like, well, I'm just combat but maybe that part of you has sucks and that's why everybody could read and that's why everyone keeps.

Telling because that part sucks.

Okay, you know that's true, you also have to, you know, the honesty to self, like like who's the Commons denominator in this situation? But I think we just get like twenty seven topics, I know, but because we have to catch up.

We're like, you're like live catching up with us because we've like talked of course through the last three weeks, but like not really not really like in depth. Like I'll be like I'll call her like, girl, I got to tell you real quick what just happened, because it's a bullshit should be like girl, okay.

Bye, but yeah, like two weeks later, bitch even hang around Hey hey okay bye.

Yeah, oh yeah that happened too. Oh yeah, Like I had a huge launch, which is amazing for beauty Blender. If you know beauty Blender, then you should know. We're the pink egg. We just lunch foundation ship.

I know. I found a picture that they posted a youe of like you with him. I was like, DM, try it out.

I almost got mad today. I tried to cover the cover effect. She got me because I.

Used it too dark. It is it is lit too dark, but you can return.

Yeah, I'm like, oh this, bitch, get me this and not the fucking bounce's so right.

I think wart cover effects. Anyway, I'm like, why was she thinking? I was getting upset? Oh my god?

Literally yeah, wow, that's very true. But I didn't have the color that no, I know, it wasn't even it was like.

Prey have the entire collection of our thirty two shades yet, so I will definitely get you.

I think you are a four point six. That's someone to guess that's what shade are in our shading.

Where were we? Where were we?

Oh?

Me? And okay?

So yeah, so back to trembling a babe. You she saw him insane.

We had an amazing we It's like my first vacation. But I didn't like accidental vacation, you know what I mean.

Like he happened to be in an amazing place at the same time as me, and it was.

Like even more amazing that you had to like be comfortable with somebody.

And yeah, well many things help that, like alcohol and.

Many things.

So speaking of many things, you don't have to be into detail. But like with the many things hard to find in Spain, there.

Were always many things around.

So no many things.

Around, like cause cause you were f with amongst a network of people.

We actually so so cause it's the things I want to know when I travel, like how many things should I bring?

So let Bay was there for like five days before me. Okay, so he established the lay of the land, you know and everything like what bars, where to go to, like da da da, and so yeah, when we got there, but I already kind of had a plan, like I know, I wanted to get on a boat. I knew I wanted to just go to this one beach and I didn't really care as far.

As to choose mess and everything else will figure out. So we did.

We rented a fucking boat, and yeah, it was just so beautiful out there. You don't wear on vacation and everything. Everything's good and you're isolated and like, my kid isn't there. I kind of feel like kid who has a kid? Nine, I'm just living.

My best life.

Not that I dealt with her, but this is a whole love. This is like former care free, former best life, and that's what it is. It's a fantasy.

It's not real.

You gonna be backing your real hot ass house two weeks.

So yeah, we just had an amazing.

Time and me and.

My friends had an amazing time.

We had a pre do you like it was like the hangover one night, like literally every single one of us got mess like every single person at different times, Like she was over there, I was over here with him, they were there. This was like it was crazy, like we all call each other because we were all different places at them in the morning and I was like, so what happened.

She's like, girl, what happened? Girl?

I'm like.

Everybody like super beautiful people.

It's like a mixture because it's like a mixture of people from.

All over the paper are also vacation.

Yeah, I would say that there's like a lot of young people there too, like younger than me. This scene there is like intense, like we went to this one in visa and a visa, but we went to this one club bar not club, not bar, sorry, like major club hotel I think it's called. And we saw David Guetta because and there were like thousands of people there. It's just insane, Like it was insane.

But yeah, so after I left.

The visa, after I had that amazing time, I.

Felt really confused when I left because I was like missed him, and you know, like I've been kind of like distancing myself from this person, not for any particular reason, I think, just cause I was like, I don't know, I'm not sure.

Cause naturally the next thing is like if we have to be in a relationship, and I was nowhere near there, r nowhere near there.

Really, I just wasn't.

I was just finding reasons not to like him, I think out of fear and also because I think I just need to follow my gut. I was like, I was like rejecting how I was feeling like I was trying to like him. And I was like, there's something about it. It's not vibing right, you know what I mean, But a piece of change that I like left there. And I was like, I think I'm in lust. And

Okay, cause he agreed.

It was like I feel mind, yeah, like we're like on the same page. I love how transparent we are. I knew that he was sleeping with multiple people. He was just honest with me about that, and yes, it did hurt a little bit. But what I've realized, and what I've realized this whole situation has show me, is that I'm purely I'm so driven by my ego because I don't it's not that I even care, because I didn't. I don't even I wasn't even really feeling this person.

It, but I was happy to being honest.

And then it also gave me like this feeling of like jealousy, jealousy or like I'm gonna win.

Yeah, yes, yes, I'm gonna conquer you. I'm gonna get This is now a fucking competition.

And even though like I don't know if I thought about it like that, but.

You do, you you, and you you immediately are like, oh there's others not better than me.

Absolutely yes, you know.

And then even to the point where I'll ask a guy something, get to get to get to like the truth.

And then I'll ask like was it good?

You know?

I then went details because I went like nah, it again, and then immediately I feel my release, like like so is the person says something negative about the other person or like not as great as me. I'm like, I'm kind of satisfied with with I can I can want to be more satisfied, which is really sick and gross than no.

I totally understand. It's ego.

I'm like, we have we had really intense sex all the time, and especially out there, like.

It was really beautiful vacation by your intents, and I think that can confuse it too. Yes, you know what I mean, So you.

Know, and not to say that I didn't care about this person, cause I do and I still do and actually like, okay, so let me get to the film, let me finish the story.

So anyway, let me just fast forward. We had a great time I left.

We had a great conversation about my anxieties and his and our insecurities and our relationships and why we do what we do. Like he says he's didn't get a lot of attention in his last piece, or he didn't feel wanted in his previous relationship, and so now he feels more wanted than ever by multiple women, and it's he It feels good to feel.

To feel wanted, and that's normal.

I get that, but he also said, I know that I'm how the rate that I'm doing it is unhealthy, you know.

So I was like, well, damn.

I mean if you have, if you have that much self awareness, like that's pretty fucking good.

I'm all about being self aware because the worst thing is a motherfucker who doesn't know what the fuck is wrong with them and why where it's rooted in.

I mean, there's I have.

I mean, I and you know, I have self awareness of certain things that I'm still not working on, you know what I mean.

That's just how like, yeah, you gotta get to what you can say you.

Constant, it's a constant battle, it's a constant you gotta do it like it's work every day.

Right.

So anyway, so I was like, okay, like maybe I do like this person, and like I realized that my feelings that were give me anxiety and like all these they were these all these confused feelings that I was like, what is this? It was just that, oh, you really like this person, Like you feel like you've opened up

And then I was like, oh, that's what that shit is. I like you.

I've decided I like you. I'm like excited, and so I think I expressed that to him, We expressed that to each other.

Whatever.

So then we get back to I go and we leave each other. We go to different parts of Europe.

At that point we separate. I know he's going with actually went to.

Another city with another girl. I think she's from there.

And he was honest about it, super honest all I've ever asked for, like seriously, like I couldn't have asked for, Like I know that most people probably aren't capable even of what he gave me, and so sh yeah, that's what I think was exciting about it. I was like, damn, I want to but now that I know, but all that I now that I know that it's a possibility and it really does exist. It's something that I'm definitely is like kind of a deal breaker for me going into anything.

If you're unable to do even just dating me, you just have to we have to start this way. Ain't no reason, I uh so.

Yeah.

So then I got back.

Well, I went to New York, had my amazing event, went into d the HSN thing exhausted, flew in during rush hour traffic, and so he lives by the airport, so I went and saw him. It was the first time I'd seen him since Abisa. Had like a great time, you know, at least I thought we did. But I have to say, in my heart there was some sort of like that's still hesitation there, but I was more but I was more open than I was ever. I felt more open, but I still had a hesitation, but

Yeah, my ego was driving me.

Oh god, That's when I realized that my ego was driving me because I'm like, what, there's something in there still that's not right. Even though you had this amazing connection, but I was I was willing to ignore it. And that's scary. That's how I know I have more work to do.

So oh yeah.

Then the next day he told me he was gonna have a talk with a girl that he's been seeing, Like I guess she was upset about him being she's been trying to lock him down for a while he's upset about her him seeing me and him out there, and I'm sure like she knew he was the other woman out there cause he was and uh, he was like I need to talk to her. I'm we're gonna have a talk. And I was like, cool, you know, do what you gotta do. Something in me told me

Like or are we wrong? Do they not?

I'm sure there's maybe people who've done a lot of work for themselves. I don't think.

I don't think.

I'm not saying he's not an involved person and he's but I don't think whatever you.

Can feel nothing, I don't. Oh shit, she looked really happy.

She looked really happy.

I was really happy for her.

She looked genuinely happy, Like.

Okay, So then He's like, I'm gonna have to talk with the girl. This girl he's been dating, Like, so, what was while he's been dating me? So he's I guess he's dated her on and off a little bit while we've been dating.

Da da da. She's more wants something serious.

I'm more just like maybe I'm just like the fun girl, right, fine, bitch. So the next day he calls, he texts me and tells me that he's decided that he's they will They've David decided that they want to explore deeper emotional a deeper emotional connection with the like in the hopes of l a long term connection.

Basically, they're they're working towards being boys for their girlfriend.

Right. So I was just like, oh, this is like literally two days after I just saw him, right like okay, So I was like, you're breaking up.

We're not freaking up. But just like I was just like, she chose somebody else. Yeah, And that's when the ego thing. Yeah, and I but that's what I realized, this is so not about you, Erica, It's about him.

Yeah.

And do you want somebody who wants something that you don't want?

Well, he just told me you didn't know what you wanted, like unless you were lying, unless you weren't being transparent. But I really felt like we were being genuine. He's like, I don't know what I want. I'm confused, da da da. And I think that what triggered him was seeing his ex girlfriend with somebody, and that want, that need to feel wanted, seeing her being wanted.

I don't know.

I could probably be digging deeper into this than I don't know.

I think I'm right whatever, I'm an Sammy.

I think I think all these things play a factor. And this girl for sure wants to be with him. I'm not a guarantee, I'm we both are just like whatever, not whatever, Like we definitely have a connection like that I felt was deeper than I've had with any one else.

But you have you don't want to You're not necessarily discussing an endpoint like working towards something like or that you're gonna stop dating other people to No.

No, we didn't. We didn't establish it a point.

I don't know.

But anyway, so we're done. We're done, and Tier.

Tears it's okay if I'm okay, totally not totally fine, But what I'm so happy this happened.

And I know time is always the greatest neutralizers.

My mom has always taught me, and it's like the truest thing ever, and it's what makes me like, Okay, I'm like upset in this moment, but like two weeks from now and this is gonna be like okay, but not even two weeks from now, Like literally, it's been like two days, and I'm really strangely at peace with it. I feel like he did me a favor. I feel like I wish him the best and her the best

It was my ego that was hurt. And it's a difference and taking things personally, you know what I mean.

And because I think reading the Four Agreements, like those two things just like I immediately linked them because I'm reading this book and I'm like, oh shit, like this is crazy right now. And what was amazing about that is that, Okay, I'm like, over the last nine or

It, and so not entertaining the drama. I was really like I was like talking to myself in the car.

I was like, okay, bitch, this is one of these moments like this is right now. This is when it's you apply everything that you know and you've tried to like train yourself your brain to think right now, this is an opportunity.

And so I've just been doing that, and of course it's not perfect.

Of course, I like talk shit in my head every like five ave minutes, but like there's ten minutes where I'm not, and I'm like yeah, and that's like where you start, you know what I mean. And so it's been like I'm excited for this month to just focus really on myself, on checking my ego. It's even like starting to change my relationship with my baby daddy slowly.

I'm like I think I'm learning forgiveness.

Because I've tried to forgive him for like I like have like a week where I'm like, Okay, I forgive him. I forgive him, and then like something comes up and I'm like, fuck you, you know, like fuck you, I don't forgive you. You're like, oh, you didn't forgive him. You really didn't forgive it though.

That was awsalon.

So I'm excited for this journey and of course, like I know, it's like a lifelong journey of uh, you know, peeling away or the layers of your ego. Girl, but I'm actually like thankful for this, for this situation.

I am.

Do I want to talk to him right now? No, I don't feel like he handled it well. He could have called me, yeah, because then after he told me then he was like, if you don't mind like a few like later this week, once I like figure all this out in my head, can I give you a call?

No, don't, don't.

Don't don't get into your confusing, conflicting conversation with self.

I'm good right, Like, no, I don't exactly exactly, And I just felt like you just want to make sure that you that were okay, so you feel better about this pituation. That's what I feel realized like slowly that I feel like that's what's happening, you know what I mean?

Of course, we all have we all get pulled into that because there's this want of approval, this want to be liked.

You know, that's the fucking problems like that.

You know, everybody is supposed to please everybody, but you can't, and that's how you get confused with what it did you actually want because you're so used to like pleasing other people.

It's true, I'm just I'm just I don't know.

It's just so crazy how I could have such an intense experience and then it just be like and I read my horoscope this month and it was like in July, like you need to wrap up all the loose ends, like don't bring any unla like uneasy feelings into August. And those are uneasy feelings I have I've been having.

I liked him.

I didn't like him at all one second.

Then I went to a beast and I was like, I loved him, and then I'm like I like him, and I'm like do.

I I'm crish, no, you know exactly. It's just so dramatic.

Well, speaking of astrology, we did have like a lot of we had a full moon lunary clips.

I missed. I missed it.

When I was with him, I literally him in the car and I was like, fuck I missed. It was like a blood mood, a blood moon.

Yeah.

And also Mars was as bright as it's ever been in like eighty two years. Yeah, So there's definitely a shift. There's definitely a shift and energy. It's like the rebirth of I mean, it's like a time to recenter, rebirth. Like you said, shut off old things. If you felt an an energetic shift, that's why. Because I certainly felt it, So that shit is real.

Yeah, you're so right.

I really did feel it too.

Yeah, because if you pay attention, like it makes a difference. Yeah. So I did read a bit about it. I was gonna tell you about ego.

Yeah, I mean I just feel like.

Before this, I was working on expectation and I'm still worrying on that.

I'm still am working on that.

That's a really hard one.

What was gonna I was gonna say, Also, the important thing about situations like this and like encounters like this, when you stop, when you start shifting the dialogue and saying like oh shit, like this is really forcing me to come out of myself, like what am I supposed to take from this situation? Then this hurt or pain or whatever temporary emotion you think you're feeling can really

To hurt, to change, to grow, And then and then I don't care anymore. I was like I could laugh about it.

You know, So's you know, these are important things, and it's not just for you know, like he obviously confused and has a lot of shit to figure out, but even that plays a part and you a looking at yourself and you know, just growing.

So yeah, it's a good thing.

No, it's definitely a good situation.

I'm glad.

I'm actually really grateful for his honesty because I always said, like for me, like when I started getting lied to a lot in my relationship, I realized I just felt like robbed of my my options, and so I really like kind of like now live by that, Like I just not lived by that.

But I just feel like when you lie to.

Someone, you take away their choice, like you know, like I don't want to be here because you're doing X Y and Z.

If you want to do X, Y and Z, then do X Y and Z, right, you know what I mean?

Or maybe communicate with me because you never know what I could be open to, you know, because that's really what it came down to my relationship. Like he ever asked, right, you know, I would tell him, he would still just be sneaky yea, because he wanted he could sell it.

She wanted to do you want to have to take to and have you a certain one? Yeah, I have no If you.

If you know my how free I am, you're gonna you're gonna, you know, mimic what I'm doing.

And I don't want that, right yeah, which is fucked up.

But I will say like that was really refreshing, and I do appreciate his transparency.

Like don't because another thing in the fore agreements, because I'm also reading it is like saying, don't make assumptions. And I think people assume if I tell her the truth, I'm gonna hurt her.

She can't handle the truth. I mean, because I've done that, you know, like just me being But who are we? And that's but who are we to say what.

You can handle exactly, you know what I mean.

I mean, but I do it all the time.

We all do. Yeah, So to be impeccable with your way, you make choices for people. Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm gonna tell you.

Because I don't think you can handle it, I'm gonna I'm gonna make that choice for you.

Yeah.

It's been like a really eye opening experience. So I'm really grateful. I feel like I learned a lot on this trip. I just it was a really amazing trip. I mean, minus the fact that good guys, if you guys go to Abisa, like, seriously, be careful out there, because my friend got drugged out there, and let me tell you, like, apparently it's really normal out there, really Yeah, Like our airbnb host was like, oh, I'm so sorry.

It happens all the time.

Oh shit, I know, I nus you guys, when you just travel in general, just be careful.

Like, just just be careful cause you just.

I had to remind myself, like, shit, I need to be more aware of shit, Like I'm out here just chilling.

I don't know, I don't this is not my environment.

Yea.

So yeah, that's pretty important. Yeah, like was everything.

And my friend's really beautiful and has like a lot of tattoos, so she's like a target.

You know, she's like just a target. People are drawn to her. Everywhere we go.

They're either staring cause.

They're like whoa, or they're like, oh, yeah, you know, we're gonna was it expensive?

Like the food it was like here, yeah you know, yeah, I was maybe.

A little less in different places. I actually spent less money than I thought. Yeah, I thought I wasn't spend a lot more money, but it wasn't cheap. Like we didn't skim like try and get skimpy on prices. Like we stayed in cool spots.

You can't get skimpy.

And we ate what we wanted to eat, and we did what we wanted to do, and the boat had to happen.

I was like, look, we don't make the boat work. Yeah, we must get on a boat.

Everyone on Instagram is doing everyone we as matter of fact, we won't do the sugar.

Challenge on the boats. Okay, so we're gonna practice. Isn't social media motivates? You're like, this will be a good picture.

Wait.

After that, my friend was like we should level up the challenge in our apartment.

And I was like, bitch, I got my challenge.

I'm like, first of all, I cannot dance really. First of all, okay, you know what, No, I know how to shake my ass real goods. So people be thinking I can, but a bitch has no rhythm.

So have you seen the level video? I got a fucking cramp watching like I.

Just like, I just felt like you just twist your arm a lot and then you dive.

Who has enough energy for them?

I mean, I'm jealous that people can do. I want to know how to do. That's for people under eighteen. I'm like, I kind of wish I knew how to dance. Like it's one of those things of like a talent I wish I had. Maybe I could have it if I worked at it.

A dance class together. Do you get to hip hop dance? Whould you go? I do? Oh my god? I dance, Oh my god? And I don't want to go. I mean in high school, bitch, it's like a muscle No. No, not really not.

You could like build up to remember, but we could go to a beginner's class. Also, I just had recent thoughts that I want to be a pull dancing superstar.

Oh, I can see that. I was to pull dancing classes.

I went to a pull dancing class. I went like two. They were fine. They were hard though.

It's really hard to get your ass up on that poll.

It's all like, I know, an army time for one class. The next day, I was like, what the fuck does and like you would get her cruises? Like cruise first. I think your body dancers to dance, Yeah, they do, but dancers, Yeah, that she was painful.

I danced like two nights in three nights in my life and it was hard work.

Oh, we want to do an episode with a dancer who's a mom? Yeah?

Does anybody know any dancers that are also mothers?

And in the LA area call us nude dancers.

Let's specific, like, yeah, she danced for Britney Erotic danceing erotic dancers.

That our mama's holler?

What else?

Oh did you want to what about you?

Oh?

How was your.

Jersey? Was really fun? I have been I don't know, I don't know. After like my birthday, I felt like a shift.

I've been like partying less and so I haven't really been drinking a lot and just been like smoking and chilling.

So for me, Jersey is like my friend has.

Like this awesome beautiful property. There's like apple trees and blackberries going yeah, deers and.

Rabbits, yes there are Okay.

So there's a place in Jersey that Thomas Edison, his house is there. But they built a community in that place. It's like a secret enchanted for.

It's called Edison Valley. It's called Llewellyn Park.

So it's this beautiful community and literally there's just like prancing deers and they're just looking at you, and there's chipmunks.

And it's just beautiful. But my friend has like they grow all.

These trees and corn and lettuce and mint and shit, and there's a pool.

So I'm just like, my friend doesn't have shit to do.

So we like to smoke weed and watch daytime TV and walk around barefoot and chill.

Stretch stretch. I didn't say one yoga video.

I didn't strut. It was like I should realise this opportunity. I told my friend took some naked pictures in the garden. Okay, So I really have been chilling and in this period I don't know if it's like the shift because I just turned thirty the New Moon.

But I've been really I don't know, talking.

To myself a lot, and just same thing, exploring ego and feelings that I probably repressed. And like even like since I started taking my young boy got serious.

Like I said, like.

Before, I was so transparent, I didn't give a fuck because it's like there's no we have no expect I don't care if you're pleased or not.

You know, it's still like a game. Yeah, like you want like the game is over. You guys got each other.

Yeah.

And then I'm like, oh my god, you wan yeah, And.

I'm like, oh, I'm not necessarily serious and that's kind of scary.

And then I'm like, am I am I having hesitations? Because like am I having hesitations because I'm scarred from like the trauma of my last relationship? Am I having? And then I even thinking about like the relationship I saw my parents have and all these weird fucking things I've never really thought about.

But again, this.

Is like the first real thing I'm I'm gonna I'm doing since my baby daddy, So it is weird. And then even like having Luna around him, I mean, I mean she's been around him, but like.

But now, like you guys are officials, Yeah, like this is the person that's in my life.

Yes, and you know, I'm like Mom's boyfriend. I'm like so weird and like just just dealing with all these new things. And then also really I told maybe Daddy like I'm in a relationship and dealing.

And and just acknowledge.

I mean, like fifty seven text messages later, you know, it's the same shit.

It's always like a I mean he's like, now he's like who cares he lives in Jersey?

You know, like how often is she going to be around him so you can meet him? He's like he's like, how he's out here with you? I was like it could be arranged, but he's like, I can FaceTime FaceTime.

But it's just all that's weird.

Like I just feel like very adults but also very childlike because they're so I'm realizing like there's a lot of parts of me.

I'm not really I don't really know what the fuck is. Like I hadn't thought about all this. Am I playing game?

Am I?

Like?

Am I not? Do I want something serious? Am I scared? Am I scared to be something serious?

Like he's such a good guy. He's like a stand up guy, he's mature, he's very for the most molt self aware.

But then he's like super Haitian.

And like, first of all, I'm such a super fucking hippie, so I can't expect anyone to just like walk in my life and be super fucking hippie too.

So it's just like little things like.

The Haitians are pretty like they have certain very like certain things they don't fuck with. Yeah, like homophobia, Yeah, yeah, there's like yeah.

And then I'm just I just.

Feel myself judging a lot and getting like abrasive. But I'm like that's not fair either, you know. And then like Luna was like, when you're.

Like look at it as like a learning experience, maybe you're not supposed to be everyone's teacher, but like hopefully he's open to and he and.

That's the thing, Like sometimes I'm like find myself getting irritated, but I'm like I know that he's still listening, and I'm like.

Asking him, are you listening? Are you are I'm telling you this because this means a lot to me. Are you absorbing this?

I want you to understand because we got into a conversation about there's some stupid fucking interviewee who goes to the slut walk and is like interviewing girls.

He's like a disrespectful old man. I don't even know who he is.

But so the talk about like feminism in the world's the word slut and women came up, and like I was just kind of taken aback by his like perspective, and I was just like, what the.

Fuck are you talking about?

And I found this getting like really judgmental and annoy But then I'm like I had to like.

Come down if you not.

Just even like Luna like has an attachment to my boob, so if we're in public, her hands is here, her hand is here, her hand always, and he was like moving her hand and I was like, why are you getting so annoyed by it?

And he was just like it's inappropriate.

She's almost she's four, Like she's three, she's three and a half, and like it's a comfort, it's like a pacifier.

Like she's like, well, what do you think other people think?

And I was like, who gives a fuck what other people think, That's the last thing on my mind. So there's like little things that bother me, but I do. You're right, it's a learning process and you know, teach and then, but I.

Get it, especially when it comes to your kid and how what you guys share. It's like when someone tries to test your relationship, you're like, whoa, They're literally like this is he and he's like you're like what actually, Like this is my child with my baby's hand.

Yeah, that's what I said.

I'm like, I said to common, like her hand makes more sense of being there than yours. Yeah, And he was like offended, Like I'm like, what do you think my breasts are for motherfucking milk?

And shit?

Like I don't like, stop sexualizing me. And he's like talking about woman being dressing a certain way, and I was like, how crazy do you sound? Like if you if you have a boy, like a son, you guys tell him like, oh you know, that's just how boys are us. Grab that ass, like no, everybody needs to keep your fucking hands to yourself.

And that's it doesn't matter what anybody. If I'm walking around badass naked, it's not for you. So there's just little things that I mean. I guess it's also age. I'm older than him.

And then I think I'm just trying to find shit because I am scared, but I can't really find anything wrong with them, so you know, it's it's it's cool though, and I'm grateful for this time being a little bit sober, because a little bit sober kind.

Of son, I'm high right now.

No, But I realized, like I guess a lot of my energy comes from tequila. I went out a couple of times and I was like kicking in and chilling, and I'm like, oh my god, I just mostly fun when I'm drinking tequila. It's like, it's it because I'm drunk that I'm so fun. I mean, I was having fun, but like maybe I was also tired.

I don't know. It's different. It's different.

Yeah, like if you're you know, if you drink pretty often to when you socialize that when you don't, it's different. You're just absolutely not the same. You're going to be more in an enhanced version or like a right. So yeah, just different, especially tequila, A different person tequila.

Like I drink tequila.

Tequila can go good or bad for me. You know me too, I keep drinking it though I know me too. It's mostly good it's bad. It's bad, it's fun time.

Yeah.

So yeah, just like, oh my god, who am I not drinking? You know, which is also scary thought, But like I still like myself.

I'm just like that fun yet.

I mean, I think you go to things that you actually enjoy when you don't drink.

You're actually having fun, right, right, it's a different You actually know when you're having fun and you actually remember that.

Yeah, because that's what I realized even too, when I like, when I've taken breaks, I'm like, this is not fun, and it's not fun because I'm not drunk, and if I have to be drunk to enjoy this, then it's not fun.

Right. You have ever been somewhere like this fucking sucks? I had so much fun that was amazing. Sucks, but it was all I'm like, yeah, so that's just where I've been right now.

But yeah, I drink probably more than I have in a very long time.

In Spain, like I was borderline alcoholic.

Something about being on vacation, like any whenever I was hungover, I was like.

I think I need another drink, Like I just need to even this out.

But it works, Yeah, Like hey, shot, you have oh My favorite hangover alcohol remedy is bloody Mary's.

I hate blame. It makes you want to throw up.

You don't like spicy magartas I do, but enough for a hangover? No, not for it? Do you like spicy margarita for a hangover though?

Yeah? Also it's supposed to be good and it's shot because it's bubbling.

Yeah, oh shot.

I don't know about that.

But yeah, no, that's great.

I mean, that's good.

I mean I I encourage you to try to keep on it because you know, I feel like I've done a lot of self discovery when I've been more sober, because and I honestly like when I'm not home, I smoke, but like not all the time. And then I don't they drink that much. I mostly smoke. But drinking literally drinking and smoking a pair of your judgment period. It's really hard to quit both. It's hard for me to do both ones smoking right now, smoking.

Not really drinking it enterns my judgment way less liquor. I'm like, super oh deep, friendly.

Mommy things, I'm almost done.

Floor for sure.

Center in her to ask me that, oh see, I got to stick up. Oh wait, we have some questions.

So we have got some questions from you guys over the last three weeks, and I want to answer some of them because we had some really good ones.

We also we have we have are getting better, Like keep.

Sending them please because they're getting good. Girl, I won't send us photo. Someone sent us photos evidence. If you've got evidence. If you get receipts, it's even better. Sus the receipt.

So stay on our instance story because we're posting this photo.

Yeah, we're gonna post the photo of this horri.

After we after this episode goes live, so you have twenty four hours to see this amazing horri picture that you will die.

It's so funny. Can we you read it now?

Wait?

Do you want to go to the questions or horries? Okay? Can we feel questions first?

Yeah, I'll say the horry for last Okay, good. I also have a horry.

To your guys that is just out of control, hilarious, just playing.

I was telling Jamila this horry yesterday in the car and she was dying laughing. She was like, wait, what when did this happen? It was so fun Day one Barcelona, it was day one.

Yeah, okay, questions.

Oh, I think I text them to you.

Oh okay, okay, okay, we have Oh this one, this one was a good one.

Okay, Hi lady, Okay, So this is from anonymous.

Hi ladies, I just on your podcast and I've been listening NonStop all week.

Thanks girl.

I'm a single.

Mom, mom of a brilliant nine year old little girl. Her father and I were high school sweethearts. We have not been together in years. He texted me last night to tell me he has another child and she was born three days before our daughter's ninth birthday. The baby is three months old. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm twenty six, single and dating if that matters.

I just I read this before, but I just realized the time frame.

Wait, we have not Last night he told the baby's three months old, and she's just.

Yeah, why did he wait till? Wait? When's the last time you saw your daughter? Why did she not know? And why did he probably was hiding it? Yeah, but then, but how do you hide it from nine year old? Would definitely fuel her mom? Have you not seen her since.

She's He has a baby with another old woman?

Like, maybe they don't live together?

Yeah, I live together the girl get around, picks up his daughter, and when she's not with her.

It's hard. That shit is hard because.

Again the ego thing, and also like when you have a baby with someone, especially if it's your first child together, it's a fucking thing.

Thing shared that thing with them. You don't want to share that with anybody.

Else, and it's hard.

It's a hard thing, Like you don't even have to have feelings for that person. There's like just something there's there's.

There's something territorial about it. Yes, it's like you aren't that territory. You shared that space. I get it, you know.

And then there's this odd like I guess everybody has that thing where you like, maybe they'll get back together the future and maybe like maybe I'll be this happy like Brady bunch of Fams.

Then when that happens, it kind of makes you feel like, oh, we're not doing that.

It's not it's never gonna happen.

All of it though it is based in ego and not in love and not.

In like I know, I know, I know that, I know that in my mind, but like something deep within me, which is probably like the deepest part of my ego, like can't accept it.

You know, I think because it's personal to like my situation too, that I feel like I just feel like.

She might not even feel that way. It's nine years out. Maybe she just feels a little strange about it. I think I even responded to her and she was like, oh fucking and take a screenshot of the whole thing.

I don't know. I think I would be hurt.

I think i'd be hurt even more so if it was like three months later, like I found.

Out, Yeah, it's an't been together this, mom. Why can't we just be honest?

Yeah, you could say, like, damn, im not just tell me here this three months later. But also we don't know what their relationship is, Like.

Yeah, it's hard for me to gauge it.

You know, maybe they don't talk at all.

I don't know it. It's hard my favorite day talking about guys. Somebody might be pregnant whatever, Like who's also my my high school seetheart I've known for fifteen years and I don't know he's crazy, So he could be going to get to piss me off and make me feel some type of way. It could be true, but either way, I'm trying to be prepared.

But then on the flip side, imagine how they feel when we get pregnant again.

What do you mean, like, imagine when we are about to have another baby, cause we will probably have other kids, not with our m first baby, Saddy, cause.

That doesn't count. Just kidding.

Wait, but do you think when he told you that were you was your instinct like jealousy or ego? It has to be right or no or no? Are you over it to the point where you were just like whatever?

I think because I know he's sometimes so full of shit. It was like, yeah, whatever.

But I think that if it happened for sure and I had to like proof and there was a baby and I I I I would, it would take me aback because again I'm known for so long. We did share this shit together for the first time as m much as I know it won't it doesn't work.

Yeah it is. But then I again, I have.

To be like, if you can make somebody else happy, cause you couldn't make me happy. You couldn't get it together, more fucking power to you. I mean I have other concerns too, like you need to be in a position.

To have multiple kids, right, yeah, you start, you start, No, I immediately would think about my situation. How does this jeopardize my situation? What is this person gonna take away from what I'm what you're writing from our child?

Right? I can't help but think that way sometimes.

Yeah, I mean, well, that's your motherly instinct, like you need to do what you need to do for the baby you got, right, the one you meant to have. Right not to say that all babies are not, yes, but.

Yes they are, okay, Eric, Oh could you hear that spite in my voice?

Yes?

I could.

I mean, but I guess the best way to look at it, honestly is to say, one day you're gonna move forward.

It won't be It's true. And you know what, it's true because even I want kids. I want other kids. I do. I want to have other kids, And you know how how can I totally be upset? I mean, I think it's more so because like you want to be the first one, or like, at least as women don't. Normally we're like, okay, we want to have kids. Men like all these men, I don't, I don't know, I don't know.

What I'm saying.

What the fuck's that?

When they don't just oh my god, I'm in a black hole. Oh wait, what were you trying to do? And now I'm curious, like I was trying.

To get it.

I was just saying that I don't know, it doesn't make sense, but.

It made sense in my brain. And then when I was about to say it, I was like, don't say that. It doesn't make it make sense.

What I was gonna say is I'm trying to say it right, like, Okay, so obviously young boy doesn't have any kids, and I mean, of course we talk about all types of.

Shit because now we're official.

So so obviously, like I think, I'm also it's like it's it's not cool because this is how it's supposed to be that someone, because I think as women, you want to like be the first one have someone's kid. So for someone to want to have a kid with me and I already have a kid, and like it's your first time experiencing it, I think I think that's that's a thing and that's cool because I think sometimes women are like I don't want to have a.

Kid with a guy who already has kids, even though I mean.

I prefer now no, yeah yeah, now because you have a kid. Yeah, yeah, I'm like now for gets you a baby before you come home.

So I know you're responding you got to lose, yeah, but so.

You know, no, yeah, I get yeah, no, for sure.

Even I have friends Like my girlfriend she was like, met this guy on bumble, but he has like three kids. I think he has like four kids, And she was like, I already don't want to date anyone with a kids. Like I realized that those expectations kind of like are like taking me out of the running of finding like maybe a great guy because he has a kid, but I just want to share that with someone.

And that's how I used to think.

But I'm like, also, yeah, you're right, we aren't like twenty five anymore.

So you have to kind of yeah, take it.

Guys usually have kids, people who have kids by and now.

Everyone, but it is more likely yeah, you know, like I think, like, damn, how many like well maybe not now, but like I how many like great guys might she missed out on because she is not. But people know what they want, but three kids, it was kind of a lot.

I don't especially if you're not a mom with a different baby mama for each one.

Oh oh, I kind of feel oh yeah, yeah, like I feel had one kid.

Okay, yeah, you know what.

Honestly, even now right now, I would not date a god Oh my god, I can't say this. I was gonna say, like, no, I wouldn't have guy with three kids and three baby mamas. But like it happens, like look at fucking Rakubadu, Like it could happen.

But she's coolers so cool, and she can afford all.

Those kids, true rich, she can afford seven and Mars and whoever you know, like she she.

Got that also for me, my, I just I realized this recently. My absolute biggest fear of life is ending. This sounds bad because this is not even the worst ship that can happen, but like being a single mom of two that is so it just sounds like it sounds really scary. And then having two baby daddies, even though does it with grace, it's such a fucking stigma. And I'm not trying to say this fund anybody, because I know how amazing mothers.

I mean, my mom has two.

My mom has two baby daddies, you know what I mean, she's still with one of them.

My grandma got.

You make it work. That's the thing about women though, like we are resilient and life goes it might you might have taken you might take the harder path, but you'll figure that ship out, you know, because that's just what we do.

That's just what the fuck? Do you know what I mean? But I was just like, God, like, that's such a.

That's such a like is that the worst thing, like be blacklisted from last It's not.

It's absolutely not the worst thing. Babies are gifts from.

The gods, from the God.

From godies are gifts from God. I was like some Instagram Oh my god.

Okay, let's hear your next question. Oh my gosh.

Okay, Okay, here's the gif before her and your daughter kills you don't.

Okay, here's a good question.

Do you guys think there's a difference between boy moms and girl moms?

Like when we try to make mom friends, should we look to match? I didn't see this question. Did you read this?

Would you just count a possible mom friendship because their child is the opposite sex of yours?

That se no?

No, I mean, well, I'm more concerned is actually.

I wouldn't.

But I'd be like, oh, okay, that's different, Like if I a little boy want to go over and play with Irey right now? Really, and like she only had boyfriends at like age three. I mean she was not boyfriends, but male friends.

I think it's I think it's good.

I mean I don't think it's not good, but it would. It's it's just something that like you always pay the same sex, can get together to play play dates with girls, play dates with boy Well you teach.

Me, yeah, yeah, I guess you're saying, if you're going to look for a friend, specifically as a kid, you're probably likely gravitated to someone who has the same sex. But also for me, because I have to be able to stand your ass, like I'm going to go to the cool mom. But or if you have or if you had a friend, you guys are pre friends and then she has a son. If we're best friends for life and upset, it's gonna be automatic. But speaking of this,

He was like six, and he's like since next to name with Landa. He's like, what's her name? I was like that's Luna. What's your name?

And he's like Isaiah, And then I just kept talking so because she wasn't really talking that much.

Yeah, he's like, so, I'm like, when's your birthday?

He's like November twenty seventh, which is my daughter's birthday. I was like, that's really interesting that you gravitated over here and that you guys have the same birthday.

Yeah. So later, so this is.

Like up in this hippie town up north. It's like all these black crosses, white Roster's and chip. So we're having this like crazy, like cool chill party. The kids are running around and I just see her like just following him around. I'm like, oh my god, this little bitch have a crush. So like a year later, we go on another like family trip with my friend who's friends with the family with the kid, and.

They're just like chasing each other. Keep in mind, he's like seven now, you know, she's like three. Like, I'm like, where is Luna? And I say it. I go in the room. They're in the mirror holding hands. Girl like looking in the mirror holding hands. I was like, hold the fuck, this is so strange. So my friend's like, you betta. Watch her. She only your child, you know, she's so child's.

Like, oh my god, I have to like, oh my gosh, I have to think about these things. Then he tells his mom later like I want to babysits onone Mom, I want a babysit.

Maybe he has a maternal instinct. You may have to be maternal.

The whole thing is, the truth of the matter is at no matter what age, like our soul are still people like energy.

How I care for each other and make sure nurture you're okay. There is like the energy doesn't matter.

How you can't deny when there's like boy or girl or female like there's all there's things. There's cosmic things that magnet like are were magnet to each other and gravitate.

To each other.

And I just had to like kind of respect it, but also like be aware of that.

Right, No, it's true, but you felt weird about it.

I did.

And you know why.

I think what I just had to realize in this moment is that because yeah, I encourage my daughter to have like girl dates, you know, and I don't even realize it because as society we separate men and women and it just becomes like ingrained in you that you don't even notice it anymore, right, you know what I mean? Like that part of like why why am I doing that? Like why I already like when I'm watching stuff, I.

Was like, that's for boys. I'm like, no, it's not. Oh, I always do that.

Even one time I said to me, oh, like something pink, it's for girls. And I was like, that's who told you that? That's absolutely not true. Even I was like she was trying to put makeup on a boy and boys on my makeup and I was like some boys did let me park that real quick, like some boys to.

Do wear make up? Yeah, because like you have, you've we've been ingrained that way.

Yeah, but I guess it's true. Like I guess, yes, I do more normally do that with Iri. It's encouraged girl mom dates or I can not even I mean, there's not a lot of I don't I don't know any single dads that are.

Like as a boy a boyfriend, I mean not a boyfriend, but a friend. It's a boy uh Cairo. Yeah.

But like even though I shouldn't see them a lot, I'm mostly but now that I'm aware of it, I'm going to do better about that.

Because because I don't know why I do that.

Yeah, I don't even mean to, but I guess yeah, I just got to be more aware of it.

There's another question, also unrelated. A lot of my older clients tell me the gripes I have with my baby daddy are basically just stupid men things and it won't.

Change from one man to the next.

Also, this is this is our homegirl shout out to Nelly underscore the Ninja with an ag. She's always showing us love, showing us mom love, and she's in the Florida area, in the Clearwater area.

I think if you want to get you heard, then he's a hair silence. Yeah, okay.

Anyway, So all my clients are telling me basically just stupid men things that it won't change from one man to the next. Thing is like putting his boxers in the fucking hamper and not the floor, or not having to ask to take the garbage out. Obviously, I have other issues for another day, but I feel like these little things being done right would streamline my attitude life. My question is, when do you know you got a good one and just put up with the little shit.

Mm shit, girl, I don't know. Oh wait, there's more.

Sorry, Or do you walk away with the hope of there being a man out there who will gladly take the heavy grocery bags out of your hands and put this plate in the think not the fucking counter.

Well, it's like you might find like your dream man, but he might not fucking even put his ship in the counter. Or you might find a man that does all that shit and then he's a fucking asshole, so ha.

Like he doesn't fuck you like you're a slut, you know, yeah, or he like his dick doesn't stay hard, or you know, like, yeah, there's gonna be no people.

His pheromones, you know like that, because that's the whole thing.

That's a real thing. Pheromones.

That is a thing.

You know, Like I've like made out with people and be like, oh, I don't know about that smell and it's not like a stinky smell.

Yeah, it just doesn't mesh with it, you know what.

I've thought that at one time, and I googled it.

You're like smell, psychic sense of smell. It's a thing. It is, of course it is.

I My ax is fair Like I was obsessed with his pheromone like I would want to, like I would put his nose like on his cheek and smell him, and he'd be like, what are you doing.

I'm like, I don't know what it feels good.

But I don't know.

You you know what you could put up with and what you can't put up with, because even with like.

Five minutes, it's gonna be like ten minutes, maybe fifteen.

What was I gonna say, Oh, because baby Daddy didn't deal lot of shit.

And then I noticed, like young boy is a much more aware, and.

It's like, oh my god, I don't have to fucking say the same thing four million times.

Oh, you just do it.

That's people do that. Oh you just do it before I ask you.

Yeah, you know what you can handle when you can't handle? Yeah, if I'm absolutely And a lot of times, the biggest thing with me saying that is a lot of times the small things will only be.

Heightened the big things are bad. Yeah, because there's other shit.

That's really That's what I was gonna say. I was like, if those are like almost deal breakers for you, there's something bigger happening than just that you're in denial of you're Yeah, you're like there's water under the bridge that you haven't dealt with, or that there's too much and you should.

Just move on. Yeah, if it's excessive, Yeah.

Because there's I feel like I feel like that, like, yeah, sometimes your relationship is beyond repair, and then little dumb shit that shouldn't bother you bothers you.

Yeah, because you're just super hyper fucking annoyed right.

Or over it.

So to answer your question, if that exists, I mean, yes, I do think it exists. I think that once you're if you find yourself in a relationship that you know you are genuinely where you feel overall happy, and then those type of things probably won't bother you as much unless you're extremely OCD and that's like a real problem for you.

I used to wish for like like low key OCD man because I can be kind of messy. I'm not dirty because I feel like I'll get annoyed with myself, but I'm kind of messy and if I found somebody who's like slightly OCD, it would be good for me.

But now I'm like, I also think that if you're in a real partnership with someone like they'll they'll they might not be perfect at it, but at least they'll try.

Yeah, you know what I mean, And so that will. And you don't want to be better because you want to make that person.

And I don't want a dirty house.

You're right, You're right. I should want me account like, Okay, I will do what do you need me to do?

And this is what I need you to do? So can we compromise?

Yeah?

I think that's where it's all about communications, compromise. Relationships are about compromise, but only to a certain extent.

You can't compromise everything. You can't come with who you are. No, go, are we gonna do horries? Now?

Okay?

Should do the kind of dramatic one trying to come dramatic horse story?

Are you going to do yours?

What is this one?

Oh no, no, let's not.

Let's save this one for another time. Should we do the what do we have to talk about?

The girl with the photo?

Oh, we're gonna post her, uh picture. We'll be posting this photo at the evidence the receipts of her horri tonight tonight on our Insta story?

Where is this story? Okay?

She's funny, Okay, Okay, just getting caught up and here's my horri Also, please don't mind that come.

By the way, there's come on the bed. Pick the picture that she's sent.

I don't know if it's from us or what. I don't want to think about it.

So I met this dude in the cab over the weekend, a cab my friend stole from this man and some On the drive back to the hotel, he convinced me and my vodka to go to his house.

So basically he was about to give in the.

Cab and they jumped in with him. I remember having okay, So he got her to not go to the hotel and convinced me to go back to his house. My vodka hit her and her vodka, not just her. I remember having good sacks and he got me off. My regular tender bait hasn't done that yet. But I woke up to him wearing my underwear. Those underwear are easily ten years old and have period stains, bleech crotch, bottom

This man is asleep in them. I had to.

Wake him up to ask him how to get out, and he asked me if I got his number as he pointed where to go, and my ass said yep, I'll call you later and ran out. Never got his number, and I'm dead. Every time I see this picture in my phone stream, he he ill, please don't judge me by this picture. Focus on the butt, yo, This fucking picture is so what do you think he thought when he woke up and looked at me, He didn't think she wait, there's oh, there's still more to the thought. Okay.

I looked at it and it was full of oh okay, so okay.

So also in the picture, I said, oh my god, there was like a fish tank.

Yeah, so the.

Picture, I said, I can't okay. I said, it's too fucking funny. Oh my god, Now I see. How the fuck did he get his ass in those damn panties?

Is the question? She said, I was wasted visiting my hometown. No idea.

Oh so her hometown's Reno, California. And I said, what's his elabric? Fish chink and filter, Because there's a fish tank in the ficture, she said. I looked at it and it was full of meno type things. I'm also pretty sure his kids were asleep on the couch in the living room.

Star we were in the garage, I was, yes, so.

Please tune in to it's a mean okay, she thought in the garage he has her underwear on, it's.

And his kids are possibly sleep on the couch.

Yo, And then what is there's like a whole filter system and a fishing Oh, we're going to post this for has in a row, So every day we're going to post this in case anybody misses it. He need to check the instant story and if anyone else has a whore with a fucking picture, please.

Please please send it. Wait, I think there's an update at the bottom too. Oh my god, she has a lot.

Update.

An update is he's a normal, nice, hot guy who works and takes care of his kids and would be fun if I lived there.

Also, how'd you find out? You gonna get his number? Find you?

Also, a whole house of people saw him in my panties because he woke up drunk and didn't realize.

Oh my god.

We chalked for like a week and then my capricorn bait came all the way around, so I'm doing that now.

I know I love capricorns to.

At least we know that he's kind of He's totally normal, except the fact that he likes to put on the chicken cakes.

And panties, which can be say it's hilarious that he woke up in the morning, probably stumbled in the kitchen, like get some water, and he.

Had her panty pink. They're pink. The panties are pink and like her worst fannies. I think it's hilarious. Did you think we were his? So yes, are you gonna tell your horri Should I say it for next week? I don't know? That's so funny. I feel we can save it. When When when?

Because next week you're gonna definitely want to tune into.

My her ho Spine edition. Oh my god, I have a few, So.

It's gonna be like all month, all month extravaganza Erica's horror Stories.

Oh yeah, did we miss her? Didn't we have a conference call? Oh? Ship? What time is it? Fuck?

Yeah?

This he's gonna think we're playing games. Did we announce our guests? That's because we need to confirm it first.

Okay, okay, we have a really like special possibly two guest situation coming on and.

It's gonna be good. But we're missing we're missing our appointment.

We should got to make it work anyway, we should actually we should what toap.

Him after this?

Maybe face time will suffice. Oh my god, I don't know why I made that face. I don't know. Okay, anyway, never mind not.

Okay, we ain't a time for that?

Is that it? I think that's it. Yeah. We didn't do any current events. He didn't do any card events.

I just want to touch on the one card event that I felt like we talked about really quickly, which was the baseball player that lost his realized his mom had passed away while he was playing a game.

And their names are Ozzie Albi's and Ronald Junior.

And I guess was I think it was Ronald Acuna his dad or his mother died?

Was it her?

Yeah?

I believe so.

Yeah, And he was obviously upset, and his teammate was consoling him, and like he was like kind of like straddling around his waist and like petting his head to try to console him.

I heard he he actually found out at the game when she had passed.

That's what they were in their fucking uniforms like in like the dugout.

Anyway, the commentary was so fucking homophobic and so fucking disgusting. It just made me sick, honestly, because like, damn are we not allowed to like as men? Like what are we instilling in our men that you cannot express yourself?

You cannot have emotions.

It's so unhealthy, it's so disgusting, and like for any parents who are raising boys, don't do that shit.

Yeah, it was really sad like he was having he was has lost his mother, that is like part of his connection to this world, like.

To make it something so like shallow, it was just and even if he is.

Gay, who the fuck cares, you know? And who knows if he is who he was having a moment and nothing to do with sex.

It had to do with like a brother, like a partnership and a friendship and apparently they're they're childhood friends. But it's just I felt sad for our community that like this is like where we like where we jump to and something.

So yeah, because white people do gay shit.

I'm just putting up apostrophes around that because gay gay shit all the time and it's just normal. It's just like, oh, their buddies haa, they play football, they're patting each other on the ass.

Ha ha. That's all you're doing.

But when black or brown or like brown and black people, when they do things that are just being comfortable with who they are expressing their emotion, it's considered it's like a negative. It's negative you're automatically gay, you autifately let you automatically dick.

They're immediately demasculated. Yeah, and it's sad.

And I hope those fucking commentary commentators get fined or fired because check the fuck up. You obviously are releasing some undercover homophobic feelings.

Yeah, and I hope we can do better somehow someway, but there's a.

Lot going on.

We got a lot to work on. Anyway.

I hope that you take this month. I think everybody if you're listening in the tune this and I encourage you this month to kind of take something to work towards. I've been trying to do that.

I want yourself.

Yeah, obviously, you forget you're not gonna be perfect, You're not gonna work on it every day.

Let's just be real, like, so don't be disappointed. Don't get scared to take.

On something because you think you have to like do it perfect, because I know I've done. I'm that in my life and it's paralyzed me from working on.

Myself because if I'm not doing it perfectly, I can't do it. Let me just try later.

I'll try next month, you know, try to sweet, just start tomorrow because it just feels it just it gives you purpose. And why don't you want Why wouldn't you want to work on yourself? I mean, I'm learning. I have to remind myself that every day, but I know that when I do, I just feel better. And I've been feeling good even through a lot of challenging situations throwing my way in the last week, so that I'm probably not gonna share on here because they're just a

To happen, it's so important.

Yeah, you just so we can walk with love and feel at peace. And that's how I want to live my life.

I don't know about you, especially with yourself.

And you know what I found like talking to you guys, and talking to you Erica really reminds me to hold myself accountable and pushes me to grow because you're like I'm doing this, and I'm like, you're right, that's that's no.

But you too, and you give me good advice all the time. I'm seriously this, I really missed.

I missed this.

I know you, I really did.

Like I was like, I need I need to I need to go pod, I need to go pod.

Connect I do.

I need needs to hear my stories, like talk about our ship, Like, so d m me if you have.

Like yeah, we're always welcome to like where I talk to a lot of girls, like yeah.

We like we have.

Like I love the community we have.

It's small, but it's growing and you guys are fucking also like awesome, and I love engaging with you guys, and like some of you guys send us like video talks and like I love.

It and I feel like I have like way more girlfriends I know for sure.

Also, we want to do we want to make a do a meet up like a happy hour or something. So if anybody has any bar suggestions or you know homide who has a bar that wants all of us to come tell us.

Yeah, I think we should do like a poll on our instra stories, like how many people live in La. I mean, first of all, because it's gonna be like it's quite I'm down to take the five people.

Look, I'm like antisocial. I can't handle twenty people.

I'll be like, yeah, please, I don't know. How are you?

You're good?

Okay?

Grade you okay? What are you having fun? Are you having fun? Like? Yeah, I mean, yeah, we should see how many people are here. But if all else fails, we can our friends.

That's true.

Yeah, that's very true.

Oh and if you are in La August seventh, I'm doing I'm speaking on a single mom panel. It's gonna it's hosted by uh the okay real and it's at Loom, which is in La somewhere. It's like a really cool center for like toddler education. Oh yeah, it's really it's.

Like bring the fleet. Yeah we can bring cool.

Yeah.

It's at eleven a m. Tuesday, August seventh.

Me and I think it's four other really amazing women are gonna just be talking about being a single parent or four at eleven am being a single parent or being raised by a single parent and like how uh you know the challenges we face and then how do we come together, like how other single women, other single parent moms or dads.

Come together and support each other? You know what I mean?

And or don't you know? It's like a big, bigger conversation. So cool, come out, come out.

I'll be there.

I'll post the fire on our insta. I did did on our stories.

I'll post it on our insta like maybe like in the next few days, closer to the day.

But yeah, is that it? That's it. It's nice catching up with y'all.

If you have any more horries, email us because obviously it's all they care about.

Tell us about yourself.

I'm done with mine. I'm like retiring from sex.

That's a lie, that's a line.

All right, Well, we'll catch you next week and we'll close my.

Nice que. Letting go a body.

Let's pull somewhere and finish ruppy start.

Right from the beginning hour.

Un I know your frumpies past, you know about your past. To bottle me up about the death he let me has a ball? Just ut does your love window?

Tell your boss and.

Be all rounding a power.

Make that stuff baby. Do your p stop a music from

Bing had a They most start