You guys, guess what.
It's our time for our live show.
It's our time for our live show. Wow, you guys, Jamila Sai, that's really what's happening here. Hi is FuG no, but on some real shit. We just announced our second live show in La, our hometown beach.
It's our two year anniversary. It is March twenty eighth. It's in La. It's for twenty friendly. There's gonna be a bar, a bar, a music, a DJ, a band, us and it's at a secret location called House of Bad Choices for the night. And not only you're getting us as a show live, but you're getting a party.
A party, because you know, we like to party. There's like no point in having a show if it's not a party. There's no point in being called Good Mom's Bad Choices if you're not gonna have a fucking party, period. So make sure you come out March twenty eighth. You can buy tickets on our website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com. Make sure you follow us on Instagram. You can also get the tickets there, and you can watch this episode
on Patreon searching Good Moms, Bad Choices. We're talking horror stories. Too.
Actually, extra episodes and.
Sex and sex physitions. There's some no I'm talking about this episode.
Oh oh okay, sorry, sex positions on Patreon this episodees.
We're talking about a lot of stuff.
I've done a lot of bad things that I'm confessing to, so you don't want to miss them anyway.
Here's the episode.
Enjoy it.
Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Mila.
Happy hump Day, Happy hump day people.
What's everyone doing? How's everyone feeling? My back fucking hurts because I'm an old bitch. That's my song. Oh dautiful, Wow, bravo. I went to yoga class today for the first time in like a very long time, and I was trying to do way too much. I was really really pushing it with these white people. They were doing a lot of crazy shit and I was like, oh, I could do that.
It was like a level seven class.
Like it's like intermediate and it's heated, so they get you all warmed up and shit, and you'd be thinking you can do more than you can really do. That's me. So I was been at work all day. I was like, fuck, Like, what the fuck?
Man?
This is what thirty two feels like today.
Erica asked me how old she was because she forgot for a moment I did.
I literally genuinely forgot. I was hold at I was like, am I thirty one?
I know, like thirty one, thirty one, thirty two, thirty it just all seems the same.
I was at work and like one of the girls is like she just had her twenty sixth birthday, one of the girls that works for the brand, and she was like, oh, I feel like I'm on the other side of like the prime of my life. And I was like, bitcha, you don't shut the fuck up. I was kicked st I was like, I'm thirty two, so shut up. And I was like, actually, I feel better that than then. Like there was this other guy who
was there. I was thirty two as well. He's like, if I can go back to any age, it would be twenty eight, twenty nine, And I was like, okay, twenty eight. Wasn't that actually start to realize? I did, But like, honestly, thirties, I'm really enjoying my thirties. Like I'm no, there's obviously I'm struggling all the time, but I don't. It's a different type of struggle. It's like this like extreme desire to just be to grow and be better, Whereas before I was just like what am I doing?
What am I doing?
What's having?
What am I doing?
Yeah, like you know, I am drowning.
And I and I am still drowning. But I just feel like I have more of a trajectory, like I know where I'm going, where you're headed. Yeah, Whereas in my twenties, I did not have that fucking clue.
Yeah, you know, it was just like hoping for something to happen, but you're not really sure what that is.
And I was in a relationship most of my twenties.
Yeah, you know what. In my twenties, I felt like I was in a relationship probably from like twenty five to twenty eight, twenty seven, twenty four to twenty seven, and like the beginning of my twenties, I was just sledting out so hard that I thought like, Okay, I need to be in a relationship to contain myself. That
was my thought when I got into relationship. And then when I was in relationship, it felt like kind of normal and like because I wasn't sletting myself out, but also it was it became miserable.
But it's good to be in a place for I know the.
Life on both ends to be a controlled slut but not have somebody to tell you what to do. And also I feel like I know, like I'm more sure of myself. Even like before we started recording, me and Erica were talking about like two separate friends up occasions apologizing for things I said to us and we're like,
I don't fucking think about that shit. And literally my friend last night I was telling her like how I want a business partner, and a partner like if we're not making money together, if you can't like mentor me, I don't really see it working. And she was like kind of arguing with me. And today she's like, I really apologize for like saying what I said. If it offended you, I said, girl, I.
Know what I want, I know who I am.
You can't offend me. That doesn't offend me. Like I just I think that's a part of the thirties, just knowing even in this space, what we're doing, Like I think I mean a lot of you know, I've always I'm always asked like, well, how do you make money doing that or what do you know? Like so it's about sweet smoking moms, like there's all. People may not get the picture, but I'm so sure of myself in this space in thirty one, that doesn't matter if you get the vision or not.
Like I don't. I don't.
I don't need I feel like I need people's reassurance less. Yeah, for sure, when I feel sexier, I feel like more better sexually. Speaking of that. Actually, also I recently like rekindled or like starting to hang out with a guy that I used to hang out with in my earlier twenties, and he has like a stocking fetish, and back then I remember like talking myself out of the situation, like
what the fuck this is weird? He probably wants like it just honestly being judgmental even though I participated or whatever.
But I of course you did.
Of course I did. Even then I was, you know. But reconnecting with him now as like thirty one versus like twenty three years old, I'm like, I can I can better appreciate, I can better appreciate the kinks that he's older, he's established, you know. So it's like it is, you know, the thirties are a great place, and people told me that like for women, thirties you have your best sex, it's your best time. And I was panicking when I was twenty six to twenty seven souse. I'm like, I almost feel like.
I went through an actual like I really could have been. You know, I was in a long term relationship, but I just I wasn't. I feel more sexual now than I did then. I think I had spurts of it, but I think because I am more secure in what I can provide sexually, and you know, I just feel like, I don't know, like I feel more assertive when it comes to it, So it feels more like for my pleasure and not just for his pleasure. And it is just for his pleasure. I'm not really that interested, but
we're not doing it again. Yeah, sex for me has shifted.
I'm doing it less to get like to prove myself or be wanted. It's just like, if I want to do it, I'll do it.
I think there's still some of that.
There is definitely some of that, and also like way to you see these moves, you're gonna love me. It's more that like, oh you'll think you like me.
Now how about now, Oh right.
You didn't know I could get better? There's that?
Not about that sound yeah? No, I agree, that's so funny. Yeah, I really I definitely had so much sex for the pleasure of I mean, I got pleasure, but it was always like either I had to do it to myself or like it was just sometimes but it was I mean not I don't want like I had good sex in my twenties. I did, but I just feel like I am more now as a single woman. Really, Like that's my only concern.
I had great sex in my in my with my baby daddy for like four straight years, which was a problem and a blessing was.
Probably the reason you probably overstayed, oh for for sure. But other than that, like I had some good sex. No, I've had some good sex, but like mostly an unmememberable sex.
Well, I think I had good sex too, but I think a lot of times too though, because you know, just like any relationship, you have your ups and downs, and ours A lot of it had to do with infidelity.
I always felt like I had something to prove, like sexually, and so like it became a lot for his pleasure and because you thought like yeah, I think I'm doing and not because and he probably it's not even his fault, like he didn't even he had no idea, you know, he was sure, I'm sure focused on pleasing me too. But like for me, it was like, no, look what I can.
Do right right? Yeah?
Whereas now it's it's changed and I don't know it's I it's gonna be. It's interesting to think about, like when I do find like a boyfriend at some point in my life, like what sex is, what sex will be like for me? Then like because of because I don't look at it the same way all the time anymore, will I only be with Yeah, obviously I need to be with a man that is a pleaser. I don't know, it's a give and take.
Well do you feel like, now as you've had more sex and you're in a different place, do you feel like you are capable of having a relationship that has all the other qualities and maybe sexes are right because you know how important those other qualities are.
Or do you feel like.
When you do the relationship, you know how important the sex is gonna like it's it's still cause I think I struggle. I'm struggling between the two, Like, cause I really I do need a sexual a super sexual attraction, someone who has high sex drive, someone who's like wants to like be spontaneous. Like these are all really important. Like it's that it's large or do you think like as you get older those things become less important.
I think as we get older, we're told those things are supposed to get less important. And that's the problem, Okay, Like I think because if you haven't found your partner yet, it's easy to give advice like subtle. Yeah, like if you haven't found your partner yet that you that that possesses that quality that you need, but maybe has possessed other things and you know you've you've walked away from that or whatever, like then people will say that, and
like people say that to me all the time. But for me, I feel like I've had you know, I've come to the realization even after my last relationship.
Too.
It's like the things that I will compromise and the things I won't compromise, you know. And one of those things is like having a partner that's like super sexually open to explore and like have fun and we can talk about shit and it's not an issue and it's not weird.
Right, you know, which I think is even more I think when you have that clear communication, it's even higher than the actual sex because when you when you have that kind of clarity and that type of honest relationship, if there are things that aren't fulfilled sexually in the relationship or at all in any space, you can you can have the communication to say, like we can sleep with outside of the relationship.
I think I've also had someone tell me who will named nameless, but I think you know who it is. She's older woman, has been within a relationship for a long time. Tell me that you know when she broke up, when her and her man broke up, she told me, Erica, if you do one thing, don't you ever compromise sex. Don't compromise sex.
But what's most important about that that conversation is that she would ended up in the same relationship again, I know, I know, which is very interesting because so don't compromise. But also is that important, I know, and maybe maybe they do have some type of like but that that.
And she told me that it like really resonated with me and like stuck to my core. And so that although you know, she's chosen to be back with that person and that's you know, whatever it is. But I know for me, I can't, I wouldn't. I don't want to do that. I like, I just feel like I can have good sex, So I think I'm gonna have
bomb fire like lit sex every time all the time. No, there's gonna be times where like we probably have to work through some shit because we energetically aren't together, you know what I mean. And that's just relationships, Like we're not always gonna be in sync and that's going to affect our sex life. But I want to be with someone that I know, at least we have the foundation, you know, like we know, like I know it's in you. We're just not aligned right now, right and yeah, right
right right, you know. Yeah, So I'm not unrealistic about that either.
But also I think you're right likeness to just having a fun sexual experience and like just being open is mostly what's the key. Because I've dated guys who sex was like it was okay, it was average, it was good, but I thought that there were some places that needed improvement. But also I felt like they were so they weren't able to take that type of.
I think you're I think it's I think also too, sex can improve. It's not like I don't necessarily always judge the first time. Oh No, I feel like the first time we're we're figuring each other out, Like you're trying to figure out what I like. I mean, if it's great the first time, bomb, but if I feel that there's something there, I'll try it again. See how like receptive you are to my needs?
Right?
Because I'm a giving person, I want to please you, So I'm gonna ask you anyway, you know, I mean, that's just how I roll. Here comes to my child hear about her mother's sex abilities drama. Yes, maybe go get them, go get them, but put them back. Okay, alright my child? Yeah that's good, perfect, Thank you. I think it's loud, you think, actually, irie.
You can here's snow waite or sleeping beauty from here.
You're right, baby, it's too loud. You have to close it. You have to close it all the way cause my I can hear it on the here close it big, yeah, yes, thank you? Are you going back? Are you just r no?
Anyway?
What we're talking? Sex talk?
Oh?
Oh, sex of sexual abilities?
Oh the openness to actually getting better and saying, oh I am open to this, Okay, I'll try that. That's that I said. That's bigger because if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell someone like that's you know, you don't want to do new things.
And yeah, I don't know ship plateau. Yeah, I think relationships plato.
Relationships do plateau.
You know, I don't necessarily mean the end, but like they just do at some point.
What do you mean, like there's no way of getting out of the there is.
It's called sacrifice and you know, forcing shit sometimes. But I mean, I believe, of course I want like my life partner. Of course, I want the person that I'm gonna spend my entire life with, I'm gonna die with. You know, we're gonna be together, we're gonna get married, we're gonna have great sex, we can go, we're gonna go through hard times, we're gonna work through them. And all that ship I do because I don't know it sounds nice and baby, just do it. Open them and
put it in the bowl. Just pull it, just pull it, pull it apart, use both your hands and pull it.
But you can't open it. It's just like a ziplock bag.
Yeah, there you go. You probably need to put it on a table, you guys, Hold on a second. We'll be right back. Okay, I'm sorry. My child knows when I'm on my rants. She's like, no, mom, we won't let you be great. I uh. I guess what I was just trying to say is that I don't know. I'm not I guess. I guess I kind of am
a pessimist when it comes to love. And I don't mean a pessimist, but I just feel like I know, of course I want that eternal love, but I also realize that people are people, and they grow out of each other forever. It's a real fucking long time. But also life is short too, you know, And I think about that too, because time goes with quickly, you know, when you're like syncd up if you find that person. I do believe that, like people have multiple soulmates, and
they might not always you know that. I just I don't know, but it's confusing. It is confusing because I feels the same way if.
I can love multiple people in a lifetime, we can have multiple soulmates. I mean, ultimately, yes, I guess I do want to just grow old.
I guess that means it's a matter of like how much are you willing? Maybe you find a person that doesn't feel like a sacrifice. Maybe you find a person definitely you know, the good outweighs the badge so much that anything else feels like what's the point?
Yeah, that's the only way, you know, it's the only way. That's the only way. At like period, I would never want to settle with someone and be with someone and feel like in that I've lost a little peace of myself. It would only be like, damn, you make me better. This makes my life better, Like it makes more sense to be with you than to not be with you, you know what I mean. Like, I do not believe however that looks for us. I still think that that
looks like growing old together, hopefully you know. Like, but I guess, I guess. I guess the whole thing with wanting true genuine love is that and with the reality is that you have to accept that the truth is at any point, they could fall in love with someone else. They could change, they could shift, it could it could change, because that's reality too. But I think the most important thing is just experiencing love without expectation, which is hard because your mind forever, I know.
Yeah.
Anyway, so you guys were having a meetup in New York, going out there next Wednesday. We are going to meet Thursday night Supper NYC. Make sure you go check out their website at supper nyc dot com.
You just made that up? Can you not?
Can you find the restaurant? Fucking try information?
Oh?
Okay, this is the worst. One fifty six East Second Street in New York. One fifty six East second Street. And I don't see a website, but their profile is at Supper NYC.
They have bomb pasta. It's really good. Ooh, this looks really expensive.
It's a medium. It's like mediums are expensive. Okay, it's not really that expensive, all right, well, but it's it's even classier. I don't think they have hard liquor. I think they have wine. So bring a flask.
They're a hard liquor.
What are we doing there drinking wine like classys?
Okay?
Out Thursday eight pm, Thursday eight pm, Supper, New York, Supper NYC at one fifty sixty second set.
Wait, is this not gonna run? We're at work, people have work. Should we make it earlier, I mean later work like eight is a good time. Okay, Yeah, well yeah, okay, it's New York, so uh, there's gonna be limited ours. There's gonna be limited reservations. So if you want to go, DMS the first twelve people two DM loo get a confirmation.
No, we have ever made a reservation.
We've already told everyone where it is. You can't come.
You're not invited. No, honestly, Yeah, even if it's twelve more people come, we could. Oh my god, what if it take over the restaurant would be great, a good Mom's Supper NYC. Takeover as many people as you want to come. Fucking meet us up there, whether you can firm or not, just fucking meet us up there. I'm sure we'll figure it out. I'll just let us know ahead of time if you can. Yeah, if you're coming, for sure, let us know ahead of time. I feel like I.
I love our crew.
I just want to say this. I don't know if I say it and I have, Like I know there's extended crew that isn't on Instagram and just listens and like then there's a crew that is on Instagram. And then there's people that we've actually met from Instagram from the podcast, like in LA in New York. It's so bomb, Like even in the bathroom, the girls that I've found in the bathroom at the club or anywhere, and you
ask and like that. Shit makes me so happy. And just to know that I can already imagine, like who's gonna come to the New York one because I know a couple of our NYC mamas, but also I know it's gonna be even more other new people. I'm just so excited. I'm so excited to make a friends so great, such a cancer I am, like, Gods is so exciting.
I'm excited too.
I love I love it, and I'm excited they're doing like a dinner so we can actually fucking have a conversation.
That's a thing too. I mean, yeah, I want to connect. You know, I'm deep and I want to look at your eyes. Oh my god? What else is new? Oh? Live show?
We have a live show scheduled for March twentieth. We have a venue that's gonna be for twenty friendly and bomb.
It's amazing. It's it's a house of bad Choices. House. I feel like Lady Goda like house, House you know, it's like German house.
It's Germany.
No, but you know like House of Gada.
Oh yeah, oh oh, because it's so mad at me. But what because it's house of bad Choices? Like we should all dress like a little sluttie like a costume party because like why not? You know, it's called like house of bad Choices where your bad choices outsits.
Oh you like that you can wear catsuit? Maybe? Yeah? Our live show is now a costume party. Bitches, Oh my god, who do I think I am? I mean I wearing a wig so right now? And you said, who do you think I really look like Cardi B?
Right now?
Cardi B's makeup artist did her makeup like? She looks like Cardi? She has those poudy cardis and lips again Salon, Yeah, oh my god. So did you take notes this time?
How I was like getting filmed? I did. I was listening. I kept asking a lot of questions.
Because I feel like when you did it, I asked her about the lips, when you did what the Ki Kim lips? For a minute, I was like really focusing on it because they were so bombed, and then I just let it go.
I've tried to do it. I try to do like that sometimes with like in my own like subtle way, right. But I asked, I said, is there a technique that you use to like make like the blow up doll lips? And she was like no, I just like I just overdraw your lip. Basically, I just go over Yeah. So I got my makeup and I got my makeup done to look like as a Cardi B tutorial her at the Grammys this year. Oh yeah, okay, the purple eye. I wish I could do this, I would you. I mean for certain things what, But.
I know I have a very basic makeup routine.
I told her too. I was like, I'm basic as fuck compared to this ship right here, it was it's pretty intense. I really want to take this wig off though. It's like take it off. It's just like people should I take it off?
They know you're runing wig.
Oh my god, this is so ghetto.
It's not ghetto.
Oh do you feel better? Oh it feels so good.
I put it out.
If I have these nots, this wig is bomb.
Though.
Okay, let me see I want one. I can't. I would look crazy.
But tomorrow I just my six No I was talking about where you are. I'm gonna buy it, but maybe Shit, I hate doing my hair, but then the wigs are not really I should just get clippings or something. Okay, a live show, wear a costume, meet up, and.
Don't wear a costume. Please, don't wear a off just look sexy. Don't listen to Jamie. You don't have to wear a fucking costume. You start alienating people. You start saying costume, bitch. Not everybody wants to wear a goddamn costroom. Okay, I mean I do, but you know, so.
This is it's a redressing slutty I mean, okay, well, speaking of slutty. The worst part is every time I tell horrific a bad choice story. For a week, I'm stressing air crow like I'm having anxiety about that thing I said, and then the next week you share it. I say, something to do.
Is this a horror story? Yeah, this is a horror story? Who stories?
Oh?
Yes, I can't wait for a Jamila horr story. I feel like it's been a little while.
No, I feel like it was like last week.
I'm gonna light up for that, Okay, light it up.
So my horror story is that well, I have to what is kind of funny and one is just horri Okay, wow, I've had quite a week.
I'm not gonna lie.
So I I told my girlfriend. She she has traffic going back downtown from the valley. Coming through the valley. I was like, you know, let's go have a drink, let's go have dinner, so deep deep in the valley, I was I took way too long. She was trying to leave me, and I was like, wait, no, like, I'm almost finishing my client. Oh cause I did.
I didn't.
Me and my friend swap lashes, but she had her granddaughter there and her granddaughter was like running all over.
It was like it was kind of difficult to do.
And then I decided to babysit the granddaughter the next day for a whole day. And then I realized, whoa, I don't think I wantny more kids. But that's beside the point. Anyway, I go to this restaurant in the valley with my girlfriend and we're talking and my girlfriend
is like a cancer Leo. And if you're a cancer leo, cust I hope someone's listening and or you know, one those bitches are crazy, that cancer Leo cust with your birthday's like July twenty second, July twenty third, July twenty first, I know you're crazy.
Anyway.
It's this group of like they look like maybe like some kind of Middle Eastern older man, but they're all pretty attractive, and I do. I keep looking at my shoulder and like, god, this one in this turtleneck is kind of sexy. Like, you know, I love an old man, I really do. I don't know if I've said that before, but I do. Like it's like a distinguished older man who can dress swab and nice swave. Is like, you're older, but you still like look sexy.
You have style.
He has style.
Yeah, he was like yeah, salt and pepper.
And I just like, like, you know, it's just a big group of guys and look like they're talking about business. You know, okay whatever, we continue to talk anyway, Literally my friends.
Were talking about it looked like it was important business being discuss.
So.
Oh.
Also, I saw Trey songs come in the building.
Where were you in?
Deep that Joey's and Woodlands.
Oh okay, that's not that deep, it is, No, it's trendy. Everyone lives over there now it's like fucking calabasas, bitch you have basically, I mean I thought you were gonna make her in Chatsworth of no bitch, I mean not hill No, honestly, I mean there was really nobody here except like it just happened to be fucking t songs, and it happened.
These guys and that other guy who's my as drinks from the bar. Anyway, so my friend is looking really hard and she's like giving me the fuck me eye, and she's really good at that, and I was like, calm down with the fucking me. I've already been staring, you know, relax. I got this under control. Anyway, halfway through the dinner, I see them like destructor disperse because they're like in a booth, and I see the guy coming over. I'm like, oh my god, girl, he's walking over.
He's fuck's walking home. So he's walking over to us, and like I'm like greeting and trying not to look guilty, even though I've been steering for like twenty five minutes. And my friend just swoops right in and says, hey.
How are you dying, toad? I want to fuck you? She said that. Strap I was like whoa. She was making sure you had no chance zero.
I was like, nope, sorry, okay, can't take that bitch anywhere.
Wow, wow, you might have to rethink that friendship. Oh no, change your friend plot twist. There's a plot twist. So at first I was like, wow, what a bitch.
But that didn't really care because I was like, that was pretty aggressive. Maybe I still have a chance, you know. But then I realized there was one guy whose back was fit not facing me. I couldn't see him. I saw his back of the end, but whatever, I can se him. So he starts walking up or this one is you cheaful? I'm a little bit younger too.
I'm like, wow, he's fine as fuck. So I don't even know.
I mean again, tequila, and even I didn't have that many drinks I had.
Maybe like is that tequila? It's just he wanted to do it. Yeah, there's that.
So he's like talking to me. Literally the conversation I don't know was like, Hey, what's your name? We start talking for two minutes, he starts making out with me two minutes.
How did it get to that?
I mean maybe maybe it was three. It was like a very small conversation and then I don't even know, but I liked it anyway. I was like, oh, well bye, and then the older guy like gave us some money to put towards the bill. I was like, wow, that was nice. Didn't even meat with us. And the guy was like, where do you live? And I told him and he's like, I live over there, is like take my number. Then this other guy's like, you know how many women waiting for him?
He's choosing you Shut the fuck up. No one needs he doesn't need your help. I was like what He's like, no, no, no, yeah.
He was like no he was so anyway, he left and I went to the house and then I said, what's your address?
Okay? And I went over there. I was living in situations like is he okay?
He's okay clean, he's clean, he's actually immaculate Fisco repeating now, no okay. It was almost like a like a look like a model the model apartment, like does he actually live there?
Now?
He does actually live there? I'm pretty sure yeah. There was. There was pictures, I think, and I was like and then I started overthinking it before I went like, I don't know, he's gonna like I don't just fuck. Sometimes those Middle Eastern guys can be super strovenistic and just.
Be like fuck fuck fuck, what do you mean.
Sometimes you just like like they.
Just want to for their own self pleasure.
Yeah, it's just like I don't like it, probably won't go further anyway. You started really play is Yeah, yeah, you know, it's really manner. He's there inter being Israeli. It's very play a play and very like women because they fine, Yeah, because they're fine, and a lot of times they have nice sticks. Anyway, so we got it. I went in there, started making out. We had sex because I have no self control and I was already there. It was literally like three minutes from where I was,
and it was good. Then he disclosed to me that he lasers entire body. He was completely hairless, completely hairless. And also then he gets the book. I told him what I do that I have a mobile spa. I'm like, oh, you have a mobile spa. Meals mobile spa.
Go check it out.
Follow Meal's Mumblespa, if you need any mobile services in the LA area. Anyway, back to our regular schedule program. He disclosed he also had some botox.
Oh done? Why why was he telling you this and like to get old. Wait, why the fuck how did you get to botox?
I said, I have a mobile spots, I do faces. What do you do wax to do facials? I'm like, but you seem pretty fucking hairless. He's like, oh, I leave it, my old buddy. Anyway, although I was nervous he wasn't gonna call me, he's definitely been.
Calling me and trying to hang out. So how do you feel?
For good?
I actually want to go back over there and see how I feel, like just like in a different day, you know, not like immediately following a bar, makeout to your house, to your dick goodbye.
Nice.
But other than that was great. He's been calling me once hanging out this week. I said, of course, we're neighbors, and he was hot. So even though my friend was really aggressive, it worked out in my favor.
Did she go what happened was her storyline? I don't think anything happened with that.
Damn.
I'll follow up though, Yeah, I need update.
Okay, and now for my second story.
Horror story, Part two, horse story. You like that improv? You like that live? We sing our own songs, we write our own hits. You can ask me the one sure horror story Part two.
So I oh, okay. So I told you guys that I rekindled with an old friend that I was dating back in my twenties, my early twenties, like twenty three, twenty two, maybe early twenty four. I met him in Atlanta. Was working at a hotel, and again, you know, I like an older man, and he was. He was ordering some drinks and I was just like, in my head, I was like, oh, I like him.
So we got to cut small talk.
We exchanged numbers. He's a designer. It's very cool guy Swedish. We dated like pretty intensely back in the day, but I was twelve, so I wasn't like really being serious. Anyway, we hooked back up. We went out one night, you know, for dinner, came back to town. He lives in San Francisco. While I'm telling so many details, I hope he never listens. He came down because he was work here and I met her at his hotel. We went to dinner. He made reservations. I love a guy that makes reservations.
I love That's all it takes.
Remember they just love accommodations. Tell us he made reservations.
No reservations is crucial. It's so basic, it's so basic to do it. Letting me get check offs like, yep, made reservations. I care, but that we're growing somewhere for if your Jamila, yep owns plants? Yeah, do you own a plant?
So we went to dinner, and you know, he has a nice car, he's a really good career, he's established, and he's basically just got out of relationship four years and that he's jumping right back into one because we're gonna be together.
Just kidding not.
I don't even know what I was gonna say about that girl.
I don't have no clue.
I forget.
I don't have no clue.
I have no clue, don't have I don't have no clues about to say. I don't know where that was going. I'm high you guys, Okay, we were going to a horror story. Oh yeah, okay, okay, I'm wordy like anyway, So we go over to dinner, have a great dinner. I'm like, I kind of like him. I forgot that I kind of liked him. And oh, he tells me
he doesn't want he doesn't. Oh this is what I was saying him, just go for breaking up because basically she were the same age and she wants to have kids and be married and he's like, I've been married, I have a kid. I don't want to do it. I was like perfect, and anyway, I'm like, I don't know whatever. So we go, we have dinner, we head
back to the hotel. We're supposed to go to this afrobeats party, but we're gonna put our food back in the room, but instead we start like making out and I'm giving him head and he says, yeah, something about sucking his white cock and I was like, oh no, he didn't.
Yep, he did. And I was like no, I can't be it. You know.
I'm like continue and he's like, oh yeah, you know, he's like a little like suck that white cheek. And I'm like, no, well he did say it. And then you know, it's so fucked up. I have a podcast and then I have friends every think everything is funny because immediately I'm like, oh my god, I can't watch all Erica this ship and then I'm like should I stop? This is all going in my head as I'm like
should I stop? And I'm like, well, I'm like black, I say it right, Like, I'm like, only when the fucking white women, or do they tell you the black women too? Like I'm like, please, don't say anything about my black body. Just stop right here, let's just keep it here. Thankfully, he didn't say anything, and I didn't stop, and I almost forgot about it till the next morning. I'm like, oh no, and then you told me and I was like, what got so mad? And I'm like,
am I a cello? Like I should have stopped, but I've actually come to terms with it.
Well, all I said was well, I said, what the fuck?
Yeah I did?
And then I said what the fuck? Yeah?
I was a disgrace.
No, but and then I was like, well, I hope, I hope you plan on talking to him about that.
Yeah, I'm going to.
I haven't yet.
I feel like you still should. I'm that's gonna happen again. I'm definitely gonna talk.
That's gonna happen again.
I definitely know.
That I'm going to talk to tell you do. But I just he's gotten away. Can you imagine? It was his ex girlfriend black? He likes block on, so obviously he was saying that to her. He felt comfortable.
That's another thing I was thinking. I was like, I don't remember this type of talk before when we dated, but I don't remember any blacks. But I mean not any blacks, any whites, but also someone I was talking to a couple people like someone it's just in the realms of sex, like it's true, he's white, you're black, Like yeah, but I don't know.
I was like, you know, well, you know slavery Swedes they have a very dark history. What they do is oh yeah, yeah.
I thought Swedes love the blacks. No, I know, so many sweet like I just there's a.
Lot of mixed people in Sweden and there are like I feel like it is now yeah, more like liberal place. But don't get a twisted what is their dark history?
Do you know?
I can't remember everything. Jennifer would always tell me Jenny, because I'm from Sweden, she's white. But I I did that. I just my mind went to she just says Swedish people are pretty racist. Yeah, like there's like I remember that we went to this place and these little chocolate balls and they're called something in Swedish it's racist. And she was like, oh yeah, the sweets called these little chocolate balls like nigger balls. Yeah, specifically I remember that story,
and forever I've said the Swedish are racist. I mean, but so you don't go to Sweden with him? No, No, you should go to Sweden. Sweeden's beautiful and there are a lot of amazing cool people that are like general, I know, I just.
Know a lot of like Swedish, like Swedish artists that are like obviously like like, I don't want to.
Okay, I don't want to say all Swedish people are racist. Okay, let's rewind.
Now, let's be clear.
European people are racist historically speaking. That is a fact.
When you travel as a black person, the first thing you ask is how is their temperature with the blacks? Because it's fucked up everywhere. That's the reality of it. We're not saying all Swedes obviously racist, I'm obviously sucking a white.
Well, I just feel like, well, clearly he said that to his ex, who allowed it, and but I just feel like he's that's it's fetishizing you. Oh god, please don't make this a clip. Well, I'm just saying like, and he might not even realize it might be just a sex thing because We fetishize a lot of things in sex, including race.
So it's is fetish?
Is it fetish?
That's what I'm sorry, so nervous.
Banging the safe He might he might be my man, And this is what I'm the deal with.
No, I guess is having a fetish actually negative? Someone said that if you fetishize something, is it negative?
It can be. I think it depends, you know. I think race is kind of one of those things that I mean I have obviously, I think when you search poorn, you have a preference, which I guess I don't know if that's I don't that's not.
Is whatever's preferences?
Yeah, which you know very well might be you know who cares?
Right?
But I know, but I don't think you should be saying white cock but I care about that. I think that's really don't because if you bend with that, what other ship will you bed with that? Will you'll normalize?
Well, that's that's why I really want to say something. I just don't wanted to graduate from there, and then I'll really have to be like, look, well he might well.
Also, you need to know he needs to know who you are. You're not like Timila, like you're black, you're black as fun, and it's gonna be a time where like it's gonna pop up again and it's gonna irritate you to become an issue. So you need to know now.
But we talk, we talk about race. We like we joke, you know, like you joke. I mean, like we don't joke, but like it's not like oh, but it's it's comes up. And I'm very vulcal. I mean, obviously I can't like be dating someone and not be vocal about like everything I said, you know, which is who I am. But yeah, no, I do want to know, like what is like in what way is that empowering to you? You know?
Or we're not or unempowering to you? And that's the dynamic. That's the which I get that because there's that dynamic and sex regardless of race too, like the power dynamic, like you're my bitch and I'm fucking you right right, But like I don't know for me, that's I don't know, it is weird. I mean, I mean, yeah, that is. That is a horror story, ladies and gentlemen. This is
Erica's horror story. I'm so glad I have it. Hasn't happened to me yet, because I don't know, I might have punched a nigger in the face or a white person in the face. I guess I should say.
Oh.
And then we got back in the car. It was very luxurious, luxurious vehicle.
Don't get blinded about the luxury, you know.
Like luxury and reservation bit like luxury. Honestly, Oh my god, oh my god. Now that you say that, I'm never telling you the real thought I had.
Oh my god. It just reminded me.
Oh no, oh my god. So I got into first of all, it's it's just not like a fucking Bentley. It's the cheat wagon.
That's nice. It's just nice. Anyway. I don't depreciate and they don't appreciate.
I got in and had like like that nice car smell, and I was like, you know, what I thought to myself.
Was like, I'm home.
Literally, I was like, this is what I'm not, like, oh god, like what I've been like, I'm tripping, I've been in the wrong areas, Like this is my this is my smell, this.
Is my smell, this is what I Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, you do.
I do.
But the fact that the set put my mind there. Anyway, we got back in the car back to the hotel. He was playing some music and I was like, trap music. I don't know if you called trap music. Whatever's rap music. And then I really realized, like, this is not like a Spotify playlist, this is an album.
And I was like, who is this.
He's like, oh, Roddy Rich. We're listening to the Roddy Rich.
But do you think he was playing that? Because no, I don't. I don't.
He's like, my son sent it to me.
I like this one.
And then he was like playing the songs that he life and I was just.
Like, this is great. I love you. Look that out too. Okay, I'm.
I'm easily impressed by resus luxury cars and rap.
White get white man that loves Roddy.
Oh.
I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for the truths that come into my mind. But these are the truths. Nevertheless, that how.
Does she get in here? She has been Oh my god, it's good something. Oh my god.
I hope all my black people were not like you are a sell out, bitch.
Well you know, well you know, I don't think you're a sellout, but I think it's like something a conversation that needs to be had, and you need to keep an keep an eye on what's happening. I don't get blinded by the luxury. I'm not No, it's not no.
No, I do you actually like him?
No, he might be cool.
He sounds cool, but it's that it's cool, he's older.
He's cool.
I just.
Also, some white people just need to be educated.
And also I mentioned like being in a place where I don't like wherever you do, while you're where you're at, wherever you're doing. Like I'm cool with that, you know, Like if it's love here in a partnership here, I'm good. So I'm just putting everything I want out in the beginning and then like letting it see how that plays out, because it's the truth. Like I really do like him, but he travels all the time. He's like always going places. He's always traveling, and I don't even like we talk
but not a lot, and I'm cool with that. And then when I see you, let's.
Just be great, you know what. I even struggling with this makes me think of this because I feel like, you know, I've been doing my own oh shit, but I still feel like I'm ready to be married. I
mean me too, like me too. I still however, but like I think what I'm having issues with in the midst of all of what I'm doing, whatever I'm doing, which isn't a lot whatever, I just, you know, I feel like having that conversation with someone that you're just starting to date and telling them that, like because really, I really feel like this is what should be happening. I feel like I've done it. I do it more
with men. I don't give a fuck about that. I'm like, hey, I'm not really looking for just like a sexual encounter.
Like say this to you, don't go.
I just feel like I'm ready, Like just I'm not. I don't want to date just for fun, you know what I mean, Like if we're not if you're not ready, or if the vibe isn't right and I'm not telling you to decide right now, they're just letting you know that. Like that's the intention that I'm going with when I'm dating. Oh yeah, yeah, you didn't listen to Daphne's I feel like I'm starting to take Daphne's advice.
Okay, because it's so funny because last week I'm pretty sure you told me that that you don't really give a fuck about said to you that he what did he say? He was like breaking up with you even they were together, and you're like shocked, Right, I.
Don't want to date him, But you're saying you do it to guys you don't care about. I don't care about him.
Actually, but you didn't do it to him, you didn't say that.
Yeah, I just well, that's because I'm saying I don't Okay, well maybe not maybe not every guy I don't care about. Some guys I don't care about it. I don't tell him shit, who do you care about?
Bitch?
I guess No, I'm just saying, but that's how I feel like. That's how I need to start leading my conversation.
Oh right, so it's such a better like Okay, yeah.
Better navigate the dating space because well me too, you know, like I haven't really been even like I guess I went on, I went to dinner the other night. You know, I haven't really been dating, you know, like I don't feel like i've been.
Oh yeah, well, I mean I feel like we have like it it's either it's either's like one or ten. We're like dating or I met you five minutes ago, I'm run a matter your partment having sex, like and then by catch you later.
I have this very no but you know, like I think a lot of women do that they I mean, I think we're in a time two women feel really empowered and like we're sharing with the people that we're spending our time with, or at least like once I can. I'm not saying that's on the first date. But if I decide that I feel like we're having a vibe, you should probably know that I like you and like, I'm going to allow this like to keep growing organically, right right, I'm not gonna withhold it. I'm not going
to stop it because I actually I want. I want if I'm feeling it, like, let why not and if but if you don't feel that way, you should know that I do, so that you can like fall back because I just I just feel like that's the fair thing to do.
But also I might be fucking other people that too, Yeah, but I just.
Mean, at least I'm being honest about the fact that like, I like you and I want to see where this goes and it's not just sex versus emotion and sex, you know what I mean. There's a difference. There's a difference between the people I have casual sex with and I call every now and then we don't talk, versus the people that like, maybe I have sex with and they're like, I actually wanted to get to know you better type shit.
Definitely, definitely, yeah, that's what I mean.
Like more so it is like and then I've been struggling with that because like I've been thinking about, like, Okay, what if I did want to have that conversation with someone, how would that go? Would I say? Like how do I say that? Like it's so fucking awkward? I feel like you should just tell me And like and that's like my ego too, like what the fuck? Like I'm the woman. You should make me feel appreciated. You should make me feel like this is what we're doing.
Right. No, I do feel I feel it, and I.
Still feel like that in ways, like if you I also want to feel empowered enough to be able to say.
How you feel I think I feel I most may feel that way, like I feel like as a man, if you value me, you should like tell me that you want it to be more. But also like the real side of me. Who I fucking I'm a lover and I can't help it.
I love you?
What do you mean? And I'm like this is serious, you know, like are you like that? I? When I like someone?
Yeah, when I like someone, I get really, like, get really mesmerized, honestly, like.
Yeah, I guess I just don't really see that side of you. I don't see like you in that mode with your men's.
I haven't because I hasn't really actually thinking about it.
I haven't really been around you and a lot of men, like in an intimate setting like my girlfriend type, like someone i'm dating or like a little bit with like young Bay. But like that's it. Yeah, yeah, so I can't imagine in that way.
Yeah, She's like, yeah, it's that's why I could be bad. I mean it's I'm not like annoying like PDIA annoying like bitch, calm down. But also like if I like someone, I'm a girl like let me come, let me come. Yeah you make spackhetti, Okay, I'll be right off. Sure, Okay, mushrooms are not Okay, gotta go.
Oh my god. I'm a lover.
When I love, I can love hard, so am I and like.
I feel like my love is can be intense, so like I always try to, like I feel like I'm always withholding it, with holding back, and like it's either like all or nothing with me. So it either feels like I'm being cold or like I'm being too much, and then they get like I feel like people get nervous.
I am a lover, but also I can I've really paid attention lately that I can. I can there's something I can hold away, Like I'm still very like blocked, like I'm I'm open, but also like I don't let a lot of people in in, you know. So if I really like you and I'm letting you in in, then that's a big deal.
Like love her haters complicated and then we sit here and say we're not complicated.
They are.
No, it's not. I if it's mutual, it's not complicated if I'm forcing it or if I you know what I mean, Like, it's not if it's mutual, it's not.
How I do. Because that's how I felt for a while with my happy pay.
I felt like, is this is this mutual?
No?
Well it felt no, it felt just like so free and flowing, you know, and like because that's the only reference I have. I'm not only reference obviously, I have it with my baby daddy. But like, it happened so long before that, Like I literally been in a relationship for so long that I forgot what that feeling, that beginning to like fall, but like the beginning is is like so it's so fun. I think that's what I want. I just want to like begin at the beginning over
and over. Let's just fall in love. Like let's just like keep falling, keep falling in love and like and then if we fall out, I'll find someone else immediately to fall No, but you know I used to do that, and that's weird. Like I think about like my I used to just jump into a relationship after relationship. I was like a serial monogamous. I was in monogamous relationships for a long period of time, back to back up
until the time I first even started dating. So I think about that now and I'm like, I don't even like I was telling I tell you all the time, like how do our friends have boyfriends? I'm like, what, Like it has to be like I know, I know it's a lot of it is because I dodge so many people too, though I'd be like, like, how.
Do like how does all your friends have boyfriends that you'd never end up?
Or was before I did it, I would be like, Okay, you want my love, I'll give it to you. You know, I don't which I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing. And sometimes I wonder if I if I'm missing my love, you know, because I'm so caicky now whereas before, why I wasn't that picky. I wasn't that picky, not to say my friends aren't that picky, because actually a lot of my friends are single. But like, I don't know, I don't.
See, I don't I don't get a lot of boyfriend like opportunities. I don't think, I mean, I mean, I don't think I give people enough time to get to the opportunity to be my boyfriend, like quite next week and probably yeah, part of it is like the really nice guys who could go there, Like I just.
I can think of a few nice guy options I could have, Like I could still, I could foster and it could be more time, but I'm just not interested enough.
I have to be interested enough to foster the relationship and you do too, And if it doesn't happen naturally.
I'm cool with that. Maybe we could be friends, maybe we could have some like whatever.
But like I think, naturally, if we both have a mutual like for each other, that's natural and organic. We will both foster that relationship, and I trust that it will be mutual. It just doesn't happen that often, because then everyone be falling in love every five minutes. Yeah, not this switch, not this switch either. I'm not a Yeah, I don't fall in love every five minutes.
I'll fall in love for a week or two.
Oh yeah, even right now.
I'm actually in love right now.
I've had like I've had like a couple like crazy. That's another thing.
So the Swedish guy, Swedish bae.
I know it's so long, we're talking so much. She saw me to hurt. Yet, okay, fine, what we're talking about love?
I'm in love.
Oh I've had a couple of curzies.
I was like, what have I end up together forever? But I realized how crazy women are. And I know it's not just me, And I know there's some pitches out there that don't do this shit, okay, but most of them, and you know what, more power to you.
I want to be like you when I grow up, and I'm working on it, and sometimes I feel that way, but most of the time, I'm envisioning our future in marriage and babies together after our second date, and I'm just gonna keep it real with you, like do I like it's honestly out of my control at this point, Like it's not even like I'm trying to think about it. It's not happened.
It just happens.
I surrender. I'm not them. I think about them. They look cute or they don't, or they look I'm like, I get yeah, So that's it. That's that's it. And if and if you can't and you can, if you line to yourself and saying that you don't feel that.
Way sometimes then I've been out with this guy twice since we've both re reconnected you and I've thought about all types of happy endings because I'm crisy, and even though he said white cock, I'm still thinking about it because.
You're wedding in Sweden off the coast of Frands.
He doesn't want to be married or have money more. You're but I'm also like caking, I convince some otherwise you're.
You're togetherness ceremony.
Yeah, I do want together in this ceremony. I'll suddle without having the legal papers, but also like I need to be your beneficiary. You feel like you can kill the man never, but I think I just never would never kill anyone, but unless you try to kill me. But what I'm saying is that's how people get fucked up. I know so many women who've been with men for
twenty years. They never got married, but then at the end they're fucked and I don't even know how to work because they weren't doing shit to begin with.
We need to have a setup.
We don't have to get married, but we do need to set up anyway. Women are crazy, and so are we. And we're also yeah, and so are we. We're confused but not very clear.
Anyway. We had no idea what this episode was going to be about. But I think we've I think we're done. I think we've touched on everything.
So everything that's happened.
In one week.
Make sure you guys follow us at Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices, join our newsletter on our website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com, by take us to our show in La March twenty eighth. Link in our bio on Instagram or our website.
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And I'm super excited. Also because our show Sebastian, it's gonna be performing. It's gonna be bomb. Yeah, this is actually like a full show.
We're gonna have an opener, We're gonna have a DJ, We're gonna have a full bar. It's for twenty friendly. It's actually going to be a party after the show. This party will continue, Yeah, in tworking fashions.
Yeah, it's gonna be.
If you're in New York next week, hit us up, come to our dinner. It's separate New York NY shore.
I'll probably go out and announce that.
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Oh.
Also, start submitting some horror stories very much like ours for our live show, because we're gonna need some horse stories. Yeah, we need some level ten horries level time.
We need you.
If you've been withholding them, if you've been like scared to send them. They're anonymous, send those hories asap. Rocky, please, said Rocky.
I don't know.
Okay, all right, we're going to New York, so yeah, yeah, get your tim Oh fuck, I wish we could exit with a sap.
You know what.
I hate Apple and their fucking music laws. Can we just do it just this one time? Fuck it like it?
I said. The nigga got Joe Ord and their swag and the mouth full of go hose that shows they be shipping clothes. And if all the girls write the niggad name on Nigga's so ship to they get a lot jaw. Come to get to get blocked jaw party like Cowboy old Rockstaw. Anybody played the tough doctor ship Pop let's.
Sake, get to the basis you. And then mister greatness Mama and what's amazing? Rock on Jealous with no Lasist first that go by the Chases, the wait, hold up, that was racist.