Alpha Female AF?

Listen as your day unfalse challenge what the futurese Try and keep your hair up to the sky. Lovers, they may cause you tears. Go ahead, release.

Your fears, stand up and be counting. Don't be shamed to cry.

You gotta be.

You gotta be bad, you.

Gotta be born.

You're gonna be wiser. You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, You gotta be stronger, you gotta be.

Cool, You gotta be You gotta.

Stay together, no loves saying to day herold what your mother said, be in the books your father with, trying to solve the puzzles in your sweet time.

Some may have more question than you.

Others take a different you.

My oh mind, You're not everything out of a brumle dring out of a wiser. You're gonna be hard. You gotta be tough. You're gotta be stronger, you gotta be cool, you gotta be come.

I gotta stay.

Takegether and I know all. I know what I was saying to Day to ask no questions and cons on with not living in me like I think, still a face, welcome some staying guess I give you, Try to us, not stake to stay you sometimes your say unfolds, challenge, want the future, hose trying to keep your head up to the scirm loves tham it cause your tears, Oh head, release your fears, ma.

Ma it. You're not any bad and you're gonna a bone dring of any wiser. You're not a a huh da, You're not to be stronger, You're not to.

Be You're not a gotta take ye.

That was Desiree.

Check her out on Apple iTunes, and uh, you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be.

Wiser, you gotta stick together. All I know, all I know is level save the day.

It's funny because that song she talks about everything you need to be, but then it's like, fuck it, just level save it. You know what, if you're not any of those things, just just just go with love.

That's a mantra to live by. Honestly, Desiree, you knew what the fuck you're talking about?

You do?

You did you do? Where are you at right out there?

I do want to know, Like, what's Dessie doing now? That was a fucking pte.

She's still eating off of that song for sure.

For sure she's coming for us. So what's going on Erica this week?

Well, I just thought we had had I smoked, so that there's that, okay, which is why I can't really communicate the moment.

But at least on the same page. This is gonna be a real issue in the future.

I'm just going to drink water. I spoke on a panel today, which thank god I wasn't high, because God knows I would have been saying some bullshit. I was already like a little loud, aggressive like I am.

But I feel like the heat is too It's too hot in La to smoke before it gets starts cooling down. No, like it even we pulled over at the park today like we were in high school to smoke a joint before we started because we didn't want to smoke in the car and we didn't want to smoke in front of the baby. Well floor floor and uh I really, floor.

Is like my second mother. So like I feel like I like I still have to hide. Yeah, I still hide.

I had a whole seventh grade flashback when we pulled over to smoke.

I know, I was like, where should we smoke? Where should we be smoked? My house was like around the corner.

Like your backyard, We geniuses, it's four hundred degrees in uh the family band eyes and we were smoking at the park. It was like teenagers.

And then what else? Anyway, it was great, It was great. It was put on through Hey Okay real make sure you follow them on Instagram and uh my girl Zoila Darton of the Word Agency put the event together. And it's really cool because they I guess, hey, hey, Okay really goes around to different cities and like just does different panels with different women, Like it's not always single parenting.

You know, I just realized, actually I do, I do have some, like one of my closest friends. I do have some a couple of single mom friends that are by choice actually not like local though the only one who's here.

Yeah, Like, connecting with them in person was cool.

I saw on the Live because I was supposed to be there, but I got caught up at court.

Bitch is at court because of bitch ass neg is.

That's a different story for a different day. Anyway, I saw a part of the.

Live.

Oh my god, yes she has worked either. Oh and the chick next to you. I think it damaged to Mela too. She was sacking about sucking because that's where it's socking. She's sucking about Oh how she thinks like she feels parents who are not single view her or

That was one of the questions when they asked, like, what are some of the myths of single parents, and like, I was like, when she started talking about that, immediately thought about like just married couples and even women just because we're all so like paired again each other all the time, and so many so much insecurity amongst women. I feel like I've felt it a little bit and

The moms look at me. Do you think it's you in your head? Or do you think.

We can't fix it? Don't worry, We'll fix it. Okay, Okay, just put it down. It might be all in my head. But even she the fact, I thought maybe it was in my head. But when she even acknowledged it and talked about it, it made me think like, well, maybe it's

I mean, because I think that's a lot of it.

Yeah, the things that we create in our own heads because of our insecurity about single parents being single parents.

Because like the gillet or whatever. Because I think it could be that honestly, even in my like my friend's circles, because I do know other moms, like I've close friends to her mom's but are in relationships. And I remember, well, okay, hi, Alana, I think like like a couple months ago, she was like yeah, because she's like, you know, you go out a lot or something like something kind of to that effect. And it's like, what just because you don't go out

Who cares if she if she thinks she go out a lot?

Right?

And is it me being defensive because I'm like, because you can't go.

Nowhere right, not mind you you glued to this couch because you can't go don't may not go out a lot. It's medium, Okay, shut up, it's me, no, but I know I noticed it in myself or you know what I mean, and like, oh, she made to comment to me last night, and it was I was totally me and she's like, hey, you know you tend to date dumb guys. Okay, Like just because I had a couple of dumb ones.

We all have.

I was like that you don't remember before you got settled down this one and this s this, And I'm like, oh my god, I'm being like defensive again because I have been told I'm very defensive because I haven't told it a lot. I'm sure it's probably true. So yeah, I mean, if you.

Keep hearing something, you have to take it into consideration. But still at the same time, like I'm not at the same time like it's you don't have to take into consideration. I just mean, like, you know, sometimes you take a look and be like am I no, No, I'm not, but yeah, or.

Just become more aware of it, all right.

I think for sure some of a lot of it is in my head because I'm just new to the single I mean, yeah, I'm still relatively new to being this same parent and adjusting and now having so many new experiences that I always imagined having with my partner, like going to school, like those are together together and stuff like I think there's an insecurity in me for sure, in it, but also, you know, I do believe there's

Yeah, like what's the drama? What's the tea? Right?

And sometimes anal t we just didn't work out together?

What happened with you?

Right? So it's like scandal, you know what.

I noticed too, And this can also be my insecurity. Like scrolling through Instagram, I see a lot of I. Well, now now that we're like we do this, I see a lot more single moms like having images on the internet. But I feel like before I'm like, I tapped into this village, and I tapped into like the strong single mom and me the empowered single mom. I always saw

Right right?

Yeah, no, that's true.

Yeah, So it was cool to just be on that panel and discuss all those things and connect with the women on there, and it was just interesting, like like one of the girls didn't have uh isn't a single mom, she was raised by one. And on my way there, I was just like, wow, I do have so many amazing single women in my like single single mothers in

She would.

I think she separated from my grandfather when my mom was seventeen, So I mean it's still she's still a mother and it's just different. But thinking about all that, I was like, wow, there's just I do. Even if I don't have a lot of single parent friends, I've been raised by single women.

You know. Yeah you forget that, Like how much that's made a difference in your life.

Yeah, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. I think that was what I took away from it too. Like even me, sometimes I can look at it as being single parenting as like this bad like daunting thing, like not bad, but like the alternative is better, yeah, like like negative, yeah, so much better.

Yeah, single mom, I mean it's one person and said it too.

Yes, babe, okay, I'm coming to try with each other. Yeah, like just the alternative must be better like this, stay if you if I if I only had a man that was making me happy and everything was great, like parenting would be better. It's just not that's not necessarily true. And I think that's what I took away from it. Like I think I know that, but like sometimes I forget.

Take it off.

Our kids are on Wednesday. This is their first time back together in a month or so, and they're wildent.

They have a lot of requests and like Gauds are getting older, they're like being able to communicate better.

My friend like stop communic a little bit like it.

Luna is like super attituty like a lot of rolling eyes.

I know I rolled her. I went at her dad yesterday and I was.

Like, she did this to me through the glass like forty seven times.

I see you, liked where did you get this? O?

God?

And then she doesn't forget ship like remember I remember mom.

When I'm like, don't say that in friend of people. Oh but speaking of single mom community period and being raised by single woman, well okay, that'll be jumping but I was gonna say, how do you think that's affected your personality? And which kind of brings us to today's topic. But let's go back for our current events. Let's bring it back. That's ringing back back. Sorry, just going a little too fast there. I'm trying to make find a final link and it just was too soon.

That's a good question. But yeah, So if you don't know who okay, really, hey, okay, real is, I highly stay to follow them, follow a word dot agency, and follow all the beautiful, amazing women that I got to speak on a panel with. You can find them on our Instagram. I tagged all of them.

Go.

Then other than that, just say shit, girl work doing inappropriate things on the weekends.

Okay, Like that's more what I'm talking about that I have no business doing what happened? Whatally?

I am?

Okay, what are you doing?

I had a sexual encounter with a friend who has been my friend for a really long time, and I just don't know if what.

Do you look at your text message because I'm a psycho. Oh I'm used to looking at people's say.

Yeah with now you're okay, I'm getting the text on my on my computer. I had actually account with a friend who I've known for a very long time, and I just don't know how to feel about it. I don't know how to feel about it.

Friend sexist, can be sketchy. It's a very touchy topic. It was like a long time coming. Oh there's been energy for a year, but it's just never matched up.

And we kind of came to the point where an unspoken agreement was made that we're just gonna be friends, that we're not even gonna try anymore, you know, And so we accepted it. We didn't even talk about it. Was just like something that just happened.

It just I mean, tequila and then tequila. Trust me, trust me, I know I'm going Tequila happened.

And now I'm like, I don't know how to feel about it. I don't know how to feel about it. But how about you? That was my That was my weekend.

I oh this weekend. For the first time, I attempted slightly to disconnect from Instagram. I don't really watch TV at all in general anyway, so I don't have cable. I didn't have to pay my internet bills, so I didn't have Netflix either. I was in silence. I wasn't in sight. Well, yeah, so I was just like trying to hear my own thoughts because it dawned on me that I'm very confused. I said, I know myself, but then like I'm faced with decisions and I'm like, I'm

Oh you did, Okay, come here, come over here, here, I got her. I'm slip stuff, I think. Damn sorry, we're taking off a Sophia dress currently because it's itchy. Yeah, Disney Nick last, all our daughters have princess dresses on because apparently they're just so.

I told them that their princesses in every image possible exactly, and I'm and we're perpetuating it. So okay, you're free. Good, Okay, then go get it and go put it on.

Okay by yourself though, Okay, because you're a big girl, just painted your little moons. Okay, anyway, what we're talking about.

Oh I tried to Okay, I tried to. Yeah, I don't know if it counts if we go to your friend's house, because then you just well, yeah, I went to my friend's house, but I didn't know but me not being in my phone, and I was how much she was on her phone. And then come Sunday, after I hung out with Erica, I cheated a little bit to see how many likes we got on our last post. Oh,

Oh my god, how long was your How long was your Instagram? Fast?

Two days? Yeah, weekend.

You have to get past the three. I mean it's hard because we both have to, like we both like want to contribute on our page and stuff.

That's going on over there. But I think you need to do five.

Yeah.

I think I do, because that was it and I started to like it. Yeah, that's when you first started. Okay, okay, yeah, even like the pressure do not take a picture. I would even post half the pictures. I'm not a good poster. I admit I'll take four thousand selfies. Nobody will ever see them, though, now it's not pretty enough.

You're sing my phone and looking at them you're gonna post and then you're like mine.

I will literally go through it and my friend will be like, like, are you still fucking looking at that photo?

I know, I just I don't like it anymore.

It's stupid.

What else happened this weekend? This week?

What else?

Yeah, oh, Lebron. I don't know if this is technically this week, but Lebron opened to school the promised school and Akron I promise school and Akron.

Uh okay, maybe close the door, Okay, thank you, Akron, Akron, Ohio, Ohio. And it's for a third and fourth greater high risk school for the third and fourth graders. And they're guaranteed, like all these schools are guaranteed free tuition are guaranteed, a scholarship at Akron University.

Or University of University of university.

Or like yeah, it even like provides transportation, transportation, lunch, like filling up the pantry of your home.

Oh no, and open and I thought that was cool, an open pantry for to take home for family. So like if you know people don't want you don't know what people kid, kids are going through and if they are hungry at home and not eating, like they have a place where people can just go like get stuff out of the pantry to take home, which is awesome.

Yeah, and they will assist in job placement for like parents.

Oh that's dope. Yeah, because it's like a it's a structural thing. It trickles down, you know, if there's a troubled kid, it primarily probably has to do with that home stuff. I read also briefly about was scrolling that Dereck Rose was doing something similar to in Chicago, because

Yeah, no, there's I mean in Chicago is so bad. It's just every I feel like every weekend there's like a killer weekend there. Yeah, like what's going on? It's just gangs and gangs out there are just it's just really really bad, bad problem out there, and just like just there's just a sense of hopelessness. It's just like yeah, ingrained in that, like in the community out there.

When that's in the environment, you can feel that. Shit. Even in Philly low key, Like I go there for a couple of days, I'm like, a, right, let's get out of here. It's like just bad, Like it's bad. I think you even had a conversation with like my aunt's friend's daughter, who at the time was like seventeen, and we were like trying to have a regular conversation, were at lunch, like what are you gonna do after like high school? She didn't go to high school.

When her ged, she dropped out filling her boyfriend.

She's like I don't know. I don't know, Like I like Instagram, like I don't know.

I'm like, bitch, can you have a conversation.

It was like embarrassing, and I just realized, like she don't know because nobody know, Like shut up for real, I don't wanna laugh, but like, yeah, I know, you know, like I mean this, it's true. There was just no sense of like I don't know, like one week, I feel like there was nobody seeing past like this barrier of this city, like when you're like in a community and it's closed and you don't actually get the opportunity

It's true.

And hence, like a summer later, she got knocked up and I think she got a gdo Okay, I mean that's that's better than not doing it.

But anyhow, we support teen moms, but we encourage you to wait.

Yeah, try to wait, because we're.

Thirty every year fucking losing our minds.

It's so crazy. My my friend that I've had since childhood, I was working with her the other day and I was asking her how her younger sister's doing, because I haven't seen her in years, and she told me that she's like, oh, she's good. She's like she's good. She's kind of fast, like she got caught. It's like dick in the bathroom in school.

Oh yeah, she wants to be.

Like a young mom. And I was like, she wants to be a young mom like that? I never I mean, of course I know that exists, but that's the first time I've ever heard someone tell me like I want to be a young mom.

I find I heard somebody else's.

And I was like, is this this Kylie Jenner like thing? Like what is going on?

Is they show Teen Moms team?

Is it all of it? Because really teen Moms doesn't really glorify No, if you're smart, if you're smart enough, you'll know it's that.

Doesn't glorify it.

But Kylie Jenner, I mean, she makes it look like she can live this fabulous because she can't. She can this fabulous life have a baby data rapper and it's cute and she takes like cute photos and shit, but that's not what everybody is at all, Like.

I do I fear that because that's the age of social media and hello, we have girls. How do you like being instagram who she is in. How are we going to like prevent that from like shelter our kids from thinking they should be instagram who she's too. I don't know.

I think that brings me to like talk about Beyonce's Vogue cover because she talks about that with you know, talking about her son and teaching him how to respect women and be his own have his own mind and age where like the Internet and Instagram are.

So you know important. So okay, So Beyonce is on the cover of Vogue. She made I don't know made them is the right word. But she hired like the photographer of her choice, which was like this young kid we Hyler.

Or something does some things. But yeah, in September, September issues like their biggest issue. I think it's Anna Wintour, Anna Wintour's last issue and it's like a huge deal for and it's.

The first African American cover photographer. Yeah, which is what the fuck you guys been doing this whole time? Like who knew? But these are things we don't realize. So she did this really deep ass interview or what do I don't know?

Yeah, I guess it was an interview I think someone asked her the question. They didn't post the framing of the questions.

Or maybe they just throughout words and she was spoke sin Chrippert what they mean to her. So I got really deep and we were reading it before we started so we could talk about it. And I'm pretty sure we almost started crying.

Yeah, I mean, it's I think what like really caught me. I guess I would say off guard is her candid, her candidness about her pregnancy because there's always been so much speculation about her pregnancy and if she had her first baby and what the deal was with that, and then her talking about she did talk about it in that in the article, and then her and now having this baby and oh my god, it's dancing just gonna

I didn't see her bigger. She was barely. I mean, she was sick, she's sick.

She was again, she's still thicker than she's.

Ever been, and I love it.

She was bombed. She was bomb and that's what she talks about. Just like taking her time with this kid, like the first kid, Like she just felt like she had to get back, snap back real quick. And this time, you know, she had an emergency c section, which you know she did. Yeah, she said, she said she had an emergency c section. She had never rest before, that she was on bed rest for a whole month, and that their babies were in what is it called?

And she even like, I like that she shed light on this the whole Sisyrian process that temporarily some of your organs are removed in most sectors and people like totally forget this part, like they literally removed ship. But I'm able to get the baby out. So that's a major recovery. Yeah, she had a major surgery.

Yeah, girl, I know, shit that should hurt. Okay, you guys need to go in there and play.

Okay, know me to put a movie on? Yeah? Yeah, So should I read a little snippet? Uh?

Yeah? So then we So then we kept reading and she's talking about raising her daughter and her bull and her son.

Yeah. Are we gonna talk about the ancestry part?

Oh? Yeah sure?

So she's okay, So people, we got a lot of the pregnancy posts, the poop yeah, okay, well we'll be back.

Br B. Sorry, we're back. Our kids are literally they're crazy. So I repooped in case you're wondering.

Reminded me of we gotta comment on sun Cloud that said, sis, y'all need to put those kids, give those kids some benadryl.

Yeah.

I was like, what, literally, someone told us to drug our kids.

I've tried it on our New York episode. I've given a little better drill.

She was sick. I've never given my give it works.

Anyway. We can't do our kids. Okay, that's illegal, so Beyonce. Okay. So there's a lot of talk about what she says, specifically about her postpartum body that she was really candid about, but surprisingly we hadn't read the rest of the article. That's actually also really interesting and touches on a lot of pro like just a lot of interesting things that

Like that's sad, so I mean again, And when I read that, I thought of my friend Nadalita, who was always talking about like letting go of like ancestral ancestual trauma that lives within us. And then Jamila Ben said that there's some studies done that cells have memory, and that makes total sense because we do bring like this innate things that are like innately in us that are

What does that mean? Yeah?

Yeah, and you know, I think beyond say, I mean, obviously she's been educated on it and is working.

On that and acknowledging it.

Yeah. And yeah, that idea that both female and male live can live inside of you, that's really kind of insane, even just like having a boy in general.

And as a woman, you can grow a male male inside of you.

Yeah.

And another thing I read that when women carry boys, didn't that DNA stays in us till we die? But I don't think it's the same for for little girls. And also if you have sex with the guy, raw, if you get a guy's semen in your vagina, this is very black and whint very I don't know the word I'm looking for you. I'm trying to say that that all that semen, like their DNA stays in you until death too. What. Yeah, So they're doing studies.

On anybody, so every person's semen that's.

Been within me. They were doing they were doing studies on deceased women's like sell your living like their bones, and they kept finding DNA male DNA that wasn't of their sons or their fathers, and come to find out women store male DNA all.

Women Like this is just yet across the board.

Yep, I mean, I mean that that.

Would be different. I'm just saying you sure she was not there?

Yeah, she wasn't a little kimnock.

I mean, you know, I'd just be reading on the internet like everybody else. So don't like mark my words on this, but if anyone does know anything about that, and uh, you know, if I'm wrong or if I'm.

Right, I mean, that's really interesting if that's true, Like, that's really interesting and also scared because I definitely got some shit I don't want. I don't.

I literally was like part of I know what to tell Luna when she's a teenager. Let me tell you what will happened. Let me tell you what happened, because literally I wish someone would have told me that. I can't, like that's my biggest I can't wait to be able to like of course, she's growing, she's a older woman. But like when you can really talk to your daughters and really level up them, like yeah, you could like that, boy, but I'm gonna tell you right.

Now that DNA will be all you don't want, be sure right.

Or just or.

That too. Yeah, And I think, you.

Know, like what made me really think about ancestral DNA and like just cellular memory period, it's just as black women or women, I mean, like slavery and the trauma of that, you know, like like lots of women were raped and in any like well every I'm sure like most society have had violent times in their history, you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, but you carry that sorrow in your bone right in your blood like that. That history is deep, deep and dark dark, and it doesn't just leave. It doesn't just lead to you, right, and your children when you're growing that child, or when that's that former slave was growing growing a child in her stomach, she was passing some of that on.

That's why I think also it's so important.

Like when I was pregnant, I remember like reading a lot of stuff about really trying to like focus and be as positive as you can when you're pregnant, because yeah, you are kind of you are mixing cells and creating a life and passing on that ancestral DNA and that.

Energy and that's and and whatever your energy is in your tone and even talking to the womb and like you're preparing, like you're preparing a woman for her like her journey onwards. So someone's about to like exit you and then walk this road and grow this road. So like all the words, all the things you say, that shit, that makes a difference.

But I think the beauty and all of that. And just as a reminder, like from this article reading it is that you don't have to that doesn't have to define you. You can work on releasing that.

And acknowledging it and releasing it, which is most important.

Yes, what's going on?

I can't itch They're too itchy, you remember, don't know they're too itchy. No more, we'll figure it out.

Watch Alpha Omega, watch the movie.

No, okay, put it on that Iri, I'm not putting it on you, go put it on yourself, my goodness.

And then second she had this other part in the article inside out.

Yet again, our girls are putting on more princess outfits. This is a problem. And actually I recently talked to another mom about going to Disneyland, and she told me that there's an actual is it actual study that like taking your kids to Disney right and doing the whole princess experience is detrimental to their health? Isn't actual study or is there her personal research in mind? I don't know.

Like and then, only fucking Megan makes it with the fuck No, if any mom has ever been to Disney and then the princess experience, please like your kid will never stop talking about it. Lu did when she was fucking two. I'm pretty sure she might have been one and a half. Honest to god, I don't even know if she was too yet will not stop talking about it till this day.

I'm not taking care in the princess experience it like I know my mom is gonna try.

Oh for sure, and I'm sure it's like four hundred dollars a.

Kid, Oh my god. But anyway, yeah, just about that. So that was one part of the the interview article that we read with Beyonce. But then there was a second part that really really struck me. And she was talking about her son, and uh, she was just saying she wants her she wants her kids to be ceoses. Know that they don't have ceilings. For daughters, know that

Which I think is a big thing to like politically correct. We so often like, oh, you gotta be like this, you got to talk like this, you could have this tone and for people to accept your certain way.

But it's like, no, you can do what the fuck you want as long as you're trueing.

Or just saying cursings too much long you know what I mean, or offending people with your views yeah, beautiful. They can explore any religion, fall in love with any race, and love who they want to love. And then this was the line that really, oh shit, what did I just do with it? Got me? Me and Jamila read it and I was like, am I crying? You're not crying?

I know. I was like, you're crying. No, I'm not taking away.

Gass bitch, Like she says, I want the same thing for my son, and I want him to know that he can be strong and brave, but that he can also be sensitive and kind. I want my son to have a high emotional IQ where he is free to be caring, truthful, and honest. It's everything a woman wants in a man, and yet we don't teach it to our boys.

I'm like, yes, I feel so passionately about that.

Those few sentences, last few sentences everything a woman wants in the man, and yet we do not teach it to our boys.

That is the most important thing.

A men yance a men.

And the church says, yes, yeah, I just like that.

That line just resonated to me. I mean, I don't have a son, but like, and I'm sure you know, I'm not to discredit moms and what they do. But it's just not the focus. We're so busy teaching boys to be brave, to take risks, to like get out there, be strong, so cry, boys will be boys.

Don't cry. Pick up that that that doll baby, boys don't play with that.

Yeah, make the money, you know, and not be sensitive. Especially they don't cry thing like not being like why are you crying?

Are you okay?

What's wrong?

How are you hate that? Shit? I hate it?

Yeah, they don't be a baby? Yeah, yeah, it's I mean, it's something that's like ingreat I say it. That's you know, that's the thing, Like I just say it because I've heard it so many times. But yeah, you're absolutely right, like you should not say that. You know, these are little things that that are like implanted in our little human's brains and they are like, oh.

Oh, don't do that, don't do that. I'm yeah, I feel I find myself being trying to be opposite that and like low key telling wounded, like to tough enough, or like oh something's not fair, my life's not fair. But I don't want to do it either way too much, you know what I mean, because it's not okay either either way.

I mean, I think you have to. It's a healthy balance both, like you don't want to go too far off those like, well, life isn't fair. Figure this out because then it takes like the joy and like the I just not takes all the joy but just like the joy of exploring life and you know, enjoying the

What you want.

But yeah, so that article was like really surprising to me. Not that I think Beyonce is like dumb. Clearly she ain't. She like builds an empire and you know, of course she had help, but you know, like she's the one who's calling the shots. So you know, I think I think she's finally just and what she said, She's finally comfortable in a place like where she she doesn't have to she'll never have to worry about anything or please, doesn't have to please anybody but her damn self.

Yeah, and she's like, I'm just getting to that place. And it's like, Beyonce, just realize she doesn't have to please.

She says, I'm like just now growing from a child into a young woman.

Yeah, you know what I mean. But it's real. If you don't, if you don't address your inner child, that ship will go to your till you die. You will be like fighting the inner child and not even realizing you're doing it, and like still being defensive, still not recognizing shit, and trying to please people. And I'm sure there's so much pressure to please everybody when you're fucking Beyonce.

Yeah, taking care of people. Well you're rich, just help me. What's the big deal? Why why can't you just do that? And feeling a lot of obligated and all types of shit.

Speaking of Bee, who's obviously Okay, what do you think you think Bee is the alpha woman?

By who?

Beyonce?

Oh, I'm like my base?

Who's base Bay? Which Bay? Talking about baby?

No?

The bed.

Besis.

I think.

She is. I don't know her enough, right, but if I was gonna outsider looking in, I would I would think that she's an alpha woman.

Yeah, a hundred. She's this article that like she's really candid in it, I mean not candid, transparent, and like I think before, Okay, everybody's gonna kill me. I'm not.

It's not that I'm not a huge Beyonce fan.

I think she's great. Oh my god, they're calling it the Buddhist community. I'm a Buddhist, I chance sometimes, but they just keep calling me like the damn joke. Okay, let me not something very bad, like you said, Like even her talking about candidly by like being pro black and putting black people on the map because.

And supporting one another and bringing people in places that she you know, she knows she use her plot.

For platform for Yeah, so she's never really been that open about it. So her being really real is like, oh wow, it's a different. Uh, it's a different perspective from her.

Okay, guys, talk talk it out, talk it out, and close the door.

She has another backpack close the door after where the other one is. Oh okay, so what's today's topic, so that.

Leads us in today's topic. Today's topic, we wanted to talk about the alpha female, and I was asking Jamila, I said, like, do you consider yourself an alpha female or do you consider yourself an omega female? And and through my research, I realized there's actually three categories. And I was really interesting researching this because I've only ever known, like, you know, the duality of them, and never knew there was like something in between, which is beta. So it

Yes, yes, I don't know if there's.

Like there's probably women that are male, even men that are purely alpha.

Oh for sure.

So basically an alpha female kind of is just always finds herself like her main goal is always to win. She always is like one step ahead of the competition, usually like she's the one who leads the conversation.

She never second guessing herself.

Super successful usually yeah, very successful. What else is it that that?

And what I read is some of them it felt like she was maybe detached.

It says the attention is always on you, and that's how you like it. It doesn't mean you're necessarily want to be the center of attention. You just prefer knowing that you're not the runt of the pack, so to speak, Like you realize you think you carry your weight and.

Yeah, so then there's the beta.

So then beta is like Alpha's second hand man. So beta is wants considers her himself in alpha, but always feels like he or she needs to prove that to people. It doesn't she she's she or he is not secure in that alpha.

Role.

There's so many different like conflicting like information on this, so it's kind of hard to know for sure. Like then the beta was like, oh, like they're like the cheerleader, the supporter who Alpha goes to talk.

To the mediator, mediator, the submissive person, the one who's more like submissive.

They weren't really that. I mean, they had some a missive traits.

I guess omega beta Yeah, oh wait, oh sorry, we're not there yet.

No, yeah, I know the beta. I think a lot of women and men, I think mostly women can kind of relate to the beta. When you're a beta woman, you very much want to be the alpha, but you simply don't see it in yourself. Some people say that betas are kind of defensive. Uh, you always feel like you're kind of battling the odds to gain some sort of balanced footing with everyone else. Let me say, compensating for you. Consider it, you're still a dominant woman.

Though.

I think betas are still dominant women. They have those alpha traits.

But very little of the confidence to keep you on that level.

I guess. I guess they're kind of always fighting against the current, frustrated that that things don't come as easily to you as they do to others, And sometimes it makes you bitter.

Biggers are bitter, We're all a little bitter. Why not me?

And then the omega is you're just like naturally empathetic, like you feel you feel for people, and.

This one's the mediator.

This one's like the mediator. I think Beta Beta has a little bit of mediation too, but I think the omega is more like a healer. You have a smooth over, smooth over like you take on a lot of people's problems.

You care deep people, you care deeply about.

Like what's going on with other people, and that that can sometimes be very draining to you. And you can feel taken advantage of. Yeah, all of these terms, and also you're a little bit submissive. A lot of its submissive.

Yeah again they should just our Internet research. And the whole terminology comes from animals like dogs, like animals that run impacts. So it's not to be taken too literally. But it is interesting because I think people's perception is like I'm an alpha female.

I'm an alpha fem, you know what I mean.

And in some ways I think I am, but.

I see my I see him a little bit of myself and all three of them, Like, we did.

A poll on my instagram, on both of our instagrams, and I asked.

You, got hey, hey, now stop yelling. Be nice, I said, be nice. My god, I can't, hey, get out of her face. Okay, it's yours.

It's fine.

Okay, today's a rough day, guys. It's a mercury retrograde. She is fucking hard. How long is it too long? I don't know. I hope it's over soon. I think it's the end of this month. It's over anyway. So we did a pull on my Instagram and Jamila's Instagram, and what I found was that a lot of I asked. I asked men what do they prefer to date? Do they prefer to date omega alpha women or omega women. I didn't explain Beta because I was like, you know,

I think you can explain all three. I did all three, and I asked.

A woman what they think they are? Okay, so Mele said pretty much it was kind of pretty closely like fifty to fifty. For me. It was more more in the alpha actually, more men and women, because women's women. I asked them, if you date women, what do you prefer?

Yeah.

I was like, okay, cool, interesting, Yeah, And then I asked women, what do you what do you consider yourself? And I assumed that most women would consider themselves alpha's because I think everybody wants to believe that they have this super drive and they're super like, like everybody wants to be around them and not everybody.

They know what they want.

I just thought, what more people would say that they were alpha? Yes, but but uh, I think mostly they did mostly say they were alpha, but there was very close tie between. Really it was like mostly beta. It was like beta and alpha, and then there were some like there were some omegas for sure, which I don't know. What do you consider yourself?

I thought, I've definitely thought I was an alpha female before I ride so deeply into this. I still think I have a lot of alpha female characteristics, like I could be the life of the party. I like to talk to people. It's on, baby, Please close the door, please please please. It's a bug. Okay, close the door. Don't you don't want to be in here.

It's the bug is gonna come.

Bug is gonna come over there. Bye, it's it's over there.

Okay, thank you, Okay, okay, we'll come healthy in a minute.

Is it over?

Oh?

I'm aggressive. I've also been told like I'm I can be too honest and not like sugarcoat shit enough bye, And I don't know, do you like to take control? If I see someone's not taking the the control, I can do it. What about you? What do you think?

But I'm also really empathetic, like, yeah, I think that there's a healthy mix. I think there's a healthy mixture for me. Though I I I I of course automatically thought I'm definitely an alpha. I know all my life I've been.

Like pretty.

I like I I like to learn on my own. I like, like, you know, I was stubborn. I guess stubborn said in my ways, I know what I want for the most part, in some ways some ways. I That's why it's confusing because in some parts of my life I know exactly what I want and what I what my goal is, and then in other parts I don't. So it's hard for me to say, like, yeah, I'm completely in omega like A, I mean, I'm sorry at alpha.

People feel annoy me too, But I do feel people on a deep level usually if I can understand. If I can, I can understand them.

If you're mostly unless I think you're stupid.

Not people's feelings annoying me.

But I just.

I guess I don't really know where I fall on the spectrum. I really thought I was in alpha, but I think I definitely have traits of beta. I think I think you just as you grow and you on this journey of life, like you're not married to one thing or the other. I think maybe I could grow more into my alpha position, or maybe I could grow more into my beta position, who knows, or maybe I'll tap more into my omega. It just I think that

And I asked an alpha female, I asked her.

What she thought I was, and she was like, ah, alpha, and I was like really, And I was like, She's like, I voted myself beta. I felt more like beta if.

I think in Nisha, I think she's an alpha woman.

She gets done. I'm like, I want to be more like niche. But she feels like a beta. But in her relationship she feels like an alpha. So I think that's interesting too to even think about. Okay, where do you like? Do you fall in different places on the spectrum of reparty to who you're dealing with?

Oh yeah, Because then based on what we were reading it almost though, Key's felt as if like one group of friends can't have multiple alphas.

And I come from like I come from, like it's my family, what is my tribe like around?

I think I intentionally on myself with like like minded, strong opinionated women because I ten kind of sometimes to like weak women or people who don't have much attention, like much opinion. I'm like, oh you're weak, so I like but like we discussed too, like like yeah, I can. I can play my role when the role is right, you know what I mean? Like I don't always have to be this raw, raw person. I could someone be

Like a little bib Well, it seemed very biased.

Yeah, it's I hear different, Like it's it.

Was interesting looking it up on the internet because I had to we had to educate ourselves because we didn't really know much about it, and like, I encourage you to go look into it too, because it's actually really interesting.

So it's clearly depending on the author of the article.

But I see, I see cons in all of them, and I see pros and all of that.

What do you think, I.

I think I think you're like alpha beta.

Yeah, yeah, I guess it depends. And what was really interesting about most of the articles that we wrote read or Not most One, particularly that although alpha women are very alpha, they prefer to be dominated in the bedroom, which me and Erica both agree we do like a monfuga who's gonna be like, choke you and thank you and listen to me, and we're like, oh okay. Because I think in life, when you're like constantly alpha alpha alpha, or you're like calling shots like in the bedroom, you

I think that's where it comes down for me too, because when I read that, I was like, oh shit, that's me. Like I love to be dominated, you know, and but sexually, sexually because like I feel like in real life, I don't. I'm like, yeah, I see, I'm telling me what to do too much.

I'm like, I don't. I do not feel like you anymore.

I'm like, uh, you can fall back. Yeah.

Equal rights, no, literally, like even like equality even that month in New York, A couple times Anthony was like telling me stuff and I was like, don't tell me what to do. Mm hm, you know what I mean, Like I don't know, backing up, chill out, motherfucker. But I'm like, oh my god, what's wrong with me? And then at the same time, I'm like, but I want a Vian's man because sometimes but I haven't even told to sit the fuck down, bitch? Did you need to have a seat?

Okay? Yeah.

When I read with something some of the answers I got from men, Oh yeah, my Erica, you were really deep into definition. I was very simple. Somebody wrote this is Tim whenever he's so supportive. It's my dad's friend. It's funny because I used to date a lot of submissive but I married in alpha. I like how I like having an alpha wife because she's on top of her ship and will put me in my place when needed.

When dating a submissive was good.

When dating a submissive a submissive I like this was good because I wasn't looking for anything serious and she would never push the issue for marriage, which I thought was interesting. Someone else wrote one who can do both. Another guy wrote right below his dickpic that he DMed me a few weeks earlier. Can you see it in

What would you consider Anthony?

Oh wows question? Maybe there is a beta male?

Yeah yeah, they were saying basically, it's like a hipster like like Anthonys were his pants pretty tight?

One of them women? Anyway? Well, yeah, because I think he'll definitely put me in my place if needed, like bitch and okay, And but sometimes I feel myself like getting uncomfortable with somebody.

Like you know what I mean, Like I get defensive, which I don't know.

Was that the beta sign?

No?

Yeah, but I've also dated. It's interesting because it's like what do I label people as or what do they label themselves as? Because my baby's daddy, I felt like, what, like was it an alpha male? Like probably? I think all men want to be alpha males.

Of course, because that's what society teaches them.

But like in reality, he wasn't. And so like over the years, I lost respect because you weren't getting ship done, you weren't doing shit, so I constantly had to be on top of shit, like nothing would done unless I was like dictating and delegating, and that shit pissed me off.

Yeah, that's what I've never heard any men say that. That's pretty fucking amazing.

Are you reading a fucking book?

He sounds like a beta beta alpha beta alpha.

And then one time I was reading our natal charts and I was reading it to him.

I think he's more beta.

Yeah, I think so, because there's like a spectrum.

And I was telling in the nail chart I read based on my birthday and his that.

Uh he's a cancer too.

Yeah that but in this book he was cancer one and I'm Gemini cancer someone because that he needs, like even though he's really really smart, that he should take my word for things sometimes basically in so many words, and he was like, I'm okay with that. I was like, I'm cool with that, and I was like you are. Thank God, you're not trying to fight me. So I like that there's a pull, a push and pull, you know, balance, because it's not one way or the other.

And that doesn't necessarily have to mean that he's submissive either, because when you said that, I was like, well, maybe he's the miss And I was like, well no, because I think that just comes with like understanding and talking. It doesn't necessarily mean that and knowing what you're like. Not everything has to be a struggle. Yeah, like, oh you're good at that.

This is what you think. I trust you.

M hm okay, I'm gonna go with you. I'm gona ride about that out. Yeah, because you know, my my IRI's dad. When we would argue, he was constantly always telling me that. I was like, wouldn't let him be the man? Like that was one of our biggest arguments, Like you don't ever let me make the mad like, let me make the decision. I got this, like let

I do think you're always supposed to have the like it's hard, it's hard for you to step down. But is it hard for you to step down because I've seen you function up? Or yeah that's what it is. Yeah, that's really what I say. You're not actually doing a good job, right, So that's when I'm interviewed. I trust your decision making. But also I found in myself hardcore like it is hard for like, okay, not hard for

But like, I think men really need that and to like feel like men.

But like, what does that look like?

You know?

And does that mean you have to be like, oh, I'm hurt, take out the trash, you know, saying like.

That necessarily what like makes you feel like a man?

Because I don't want to do that either, and I don't feel like fucking having to reassured Nick all the time, like yeah, yeah, this ship you should know that no one.

I feel like sometimes men are like late to like the female progression party, Like shit ain't happening like it used to. It Again, you didn't get the motherfucking memo and you.

Ain't doing the part, so I ain't treating you like you right, And.

I'm like, you know what year it is, right, So yeah, I don't. I don't know. I think like for me, as far as dating goes, I've always felt like I should be with an alpha because I feel like sometimes I do need someone to tell me to sit down, and I like that because that's a submissive in me that does kind of like that.

And when it's when I feel it's appropriate and which is controlling somebody who can who you can accept it from, you know what I mean? Because not everybody could take you sit down and you're gonna take it the same way. But if someone really likes they just have a fucking seat. If someone's like you say, you do really respect them, That's what I'm saying.

It comes from respect, Like if I respect you, if like we have a mutual respect. If I know that your alphaness and your need to couldn't like tell me to have a seat doesn't come from insecurity like you feeling like like you're inadequate, you're inadequate, then then I'm okay with it. But if I feel like it's coming from that type of place that I'm not okay with it.

I'm not coddling that shit, right because either where you with it and you trust it and it's good, are you? Yeah?

And I feel like a lot of times when I meet alpha males, and this is what I was saying, like, that's why this alpha thing is kind of a bit confusing to me because I think that a lot of times, not all the time, but men that consider themselves alpha men or even females, I'm sure too, this applies a lot of it. I feel like comes some of it comes from insecurity because they feel like they have to constantly assert themselves and it's not maybe they're just not

Last episode, who listened, by the way, listen to our episode and had an enlightenment. I was like, what we enlighten it? We enlightened that.

Yeah, he did listen to the last episode. Which is really weird about having a podcast. Guys. It's just like you want to tell your friends you've got your you got a podcast, and the then you're like, wait, but don't listen to that episode.

Okay, don't tell nobody.

But actually I went back and listened, and that episode was pretty good. I I had to say, like, I got everything I needed to say out there, and I'm not mad at it, and it actually worked in my favor. Like me and him are now cool and working on a friendship. Friendship because healthy, healthy thing I.

Can do right now.

But wait, how did I lose track?

Oh?

I think he has alpha qualities, but he also has beta qualities because, at least from what I've gathered from dating him so far, like he just seems like supportive, he's down to support and like he doesn't he does have his own company, so there is that.

Like, why does that supportive mean? You're not an alpha bank.

I don't know, but like that's I don't that's why these definitions are Oh wait, oh wait, wait wait? Did that definition of beta man? The guy who just yoga yoga? He dresses nicely like he does yoga, like he like asks you, like how you're feeling, and like, yeah, mistake is gay? Oh yeah he might. He might have feminine

Was like double dating over there.

I don't know, maybe going on dates every five seconds. I don't know.

It so happened in Venice. Guys, can we please go out there and hang out with It's really cool. I really want to hang out in Venice. Let's go. I'm like one time six years ago. Oh god, I just remember that. Oh god, I was a fucking car crash.

Oh oh Jesus. But he was saying that and I and I said to him, I said, well, I don't really get that from him but you know, what I've found is that it probably has more to do with what she considers masculine energy more than more so than whatever he's doing. It's really her problem, not his problem. And uh and he was and he was like, wait, what did he say when I was telling him that, Like, I think I've struggled from the same thing, like how I define masculinity.

Like you know how that looks back?

Guy is very sweet, he's really nice.

Even I saw a study that we associate like high pitched voices, like and it has nothing to do with shit even body language, you know, And it's just bullshit, it really is. So we have to get out of that, I know.

But anyway, I don't know. I don't know what my paaring I know for sure, I don't know if I'm not. I mean, I don't know the future. But at this point in my life and in my relationships with men in general, up until this point, I don't think I could date an omega. I just can't. I don't really have a lot.

Of respect for maybe I've the right omega met well.

The by the definition just made me feel like a man that just can't make decisions, Like he's just not assertive, and I don't need him to be assertive all the time, but sometimes I need you to take the reins and like figure some shit out for me.

Sometimes like passiontive passiveness really really annoys me.

For instance, a mumbling asthma fucker.

Like oh yeah, what the fuck did you say?

What?

Huh? Like if we're at a restaurant, you're like, yeah, okay, look like speak the fuck up, speak clearly, Like that makes me think that you're on omega. If I'm not with a man who's like clearly spoken, even a woman punctuating, like if I feel like I have the order for you, it's gonna irritate me. Even as a waitress, when I would see like men, this is when I didn't have respect for like beta women. If I would see like a couple come, I've been a lot of observations based on my cocktail.

Dates would come to dinner and like order for the woman all the.

Time, or she's like, babe, what do you think I should get? I'm like, oh my god, this bitch, thank you? Color it like I would it would It would irritate me, like this shit just has no voice at all, Like this makes me think you're like a pushover and that irritate me, or for a guy the other way around, like my ex like couldn't to.

Me like effectively make phone calls, like like.

What's going on over there? Why can't you call the cable company? Like what the fuck?

Yeah? Yeah, I feel you. That's just everything takes forever. Everything needs to be reasoned, not some shit.

It's just like, no, this is what it is.

Yo.

Okay, let me say this quick story.

I just realized both of these stories have to do with food, which may be just like my inner psycho about food because I am a fat ass, like not literally obviously, but I need a lot. So okay twice okay, meet Anthony went to the tire restaurant. We got there at nine o five. He was pressing me in a curry ap parreyep parry up, parry up, be nice share.

Irie's pushing her face against the glass and her whole face was smashed.

Oh, young babe, not Anthony, young babe. And we went to Okay, so we went to tire food. He was pricing me and we need there but out there. We got there at literally nine oh six. We balked in. He's like, oh, I saw, I'm sorry, we closed fifteen minutes. So he was like he got the attitude immediately, and of course it was me who was like kind of taking my time, so he was like, we'll order to

And I was like no.

I was like, if you want to eat, you're gonna eat here. So I'm like, you guys, don't close in fifteen minutes. You actually closed in nine thirty. That's what we right online, and that's how he came. So we're either gonna eat here or we're gonna not eat at all. So she's like okay, Holly up owed it quickly, but I was like, you're to let the bitch pumkin like, we're not. No, we sit in, down, we eat in.

And then another time, which I almost fucking exploded.

Yeah, painting with that what that brush thing?

So we ordered food on fucking one of those to go apps whatever delivery apps.

He puts the order in, he orders it to he orders it to his house, not the house that we're at.

Which is down the street. He waits for five minutes for the The only way you can change the address if if the bitch pops up contact the driver. He literally been standing in his phone for like fifteen minutes straight. I'm like, dude, whunch, you just called the restaurant and tell them to have the driver change the address when they get there. No, twenty minutes goes by. He sucks his phone. Finally it must have popped up. He calls,

Okay bye. I'm like, she left it on the porch.

It's here right now. He's like, oh, why we leave on the porch. He's like, she went to my house. I'm gonna tell me you'll get it. I was like, I exploded. I was like, why the fuck would you like this bitch leave it at your house.

We're here.

You text her the address as a callarback, callar back, He's like, I just so get it. I was fucking I don't think I've ever yelled at him so hard. He was like, this shitch just a monster. I was like, I cannot believe you let this bitch drop that food off at your house. Now, why would we pay for her to deliver it? And she didn't deliver it?

Here? Right?

I was hot? Okay, so I am a fat ass, which is the conclusion of both these stories. Shit like that annoys the ship.

Well do you think that's just man shit?

Yeah?

Or is that that's not that's man like?

I just like I was hot.

I just think certain men are not necessarily problem solvers in that way. They can problem solve some other shit really well. Sometimes a lot of times mailing a picture do well, like you know, other shit, but like when it comes to like the details and coordinating things and times and locations, not a strong point, not a strong point, not a strong point. But I don't know, I just omega omega And it's just I just I don't know.

What what are you saying?

Or like what like I just and then being raised by like such an alpha female and seeing that was just like confusing to me. But it doesn't it work in some way some way some some alpha females some relations just like an alpha male likes an omega woman. Some a lot of alpha females need an omega man. They want to be lifted up, they want some want to just listen to their problems and and support them and take on their ship and just be their little

If you have employees, if you the manager alone, are just.

Like you're excelling in whatever field you're doing, like you at it, like watching like my like like for example, like it's gonna sound really shallow, but it's just it's not even shallow. It's just I loved watching the father of my child on stage. Of course, I just have to watch him like do what he does best and him I can see it coming off of him. I

It's a confidence and it doesn't have to be necessarily.

And when I realized it's not just that, it's like any man who's doing something in a field, in his field or just excelling have something that I'm not maybe good at in my life, I can look up to that and be like damn, well, like I don't know

And I don't know, I think I actually I met a woman once met like a crazy trip to Miami when I say, for a month. One of the chicks I met, who was Paula Hammers, and she like exposed it to me for the first time. She was an alpha female, and throughout the trip we were like, this

I was like twenty one, I thought we're like Loki gay.

I'm like, what the fuck?

Why am.

But come to find out there was this one guy, Tyler, the bartender at a gay club. He's super beautiful, super well chiseled, you know, Miami super like he was pretty and like soft spoken and like yeah, anyway, we took him home to our hotel. I passed out. I don't know how I passed out. They had a whole, full blown pop in threesome while I was sleep on the back. The next morning, I was like, why I missed it? Like his dick was huge? What I was like, I

I think different women like different shit.

Even if you are at alpha, you could you know whatever. And then I bet you even though I missed that threesome, I bet you he took control in the bedroom surprisingly and that was probably she probably was onto something. She even Beta men we beta no Omega a Mega man in the bedroom are like, they.

Probably want more aggressive. That's her want to be assertive, yes, whereas Alpha was like to be dominated.

So maybe it's something you should try, maybe, right, I did you know what.

My ex was? I did dated Omega once and he was incredibly insecure, but then he was very but he was very caring.

And this sex was eve end up being gay.

No, he's definitely not kidding. Okay, although a lot of gay men are attracted to me.

I know. That's why I asked you.

I recently had that too, Like I'm like, oh, this is still a video, this is still a thing.

The video you guys, Oh my god, Wait, he's gonna listen to this? Oh god, maybe not won't listen to star who could? Good if you're listening, turn your shit up. Okay, this is for you. Erica has been like had a DM boo that, like someone mutual introduced them via DM. They started like FaceTime and texting. So, yes, the other day, We're at the Brea at the pool and I'm taking yourselfie. First of all, I'm nosy to shoot, so like with

I just found this, but I could see it's like a video or a still.

And I'm like, yeah, some guy, who is this so and so? Because you just got a new video, so we proceed to look at it together. I can't even describe this for podcast purposes. It's too bad to even describe. I literally wish can we Oh we can't, we can't, Okay, sorry.

He is taking a full blown selfie video of himself shirtless in the bathroom, like kind of like you know how, you know how bitches on Instagram like lip sync to songs for no reason.

And post selfies.

It's like that, but he's shirtless. He's doing like a little poudy lip and then he does the signature what I've warned you guys back in many many episodes again is my man by when you put the arm over back over the head to strike a pose.

No, sit down, no more kill it no.

And it's like a fully like fifteen second video basically after just him pouting doing sexy what he thinks are sexy looks.

And he like grabbed his chest like his boot but brea breast.

Trust Oh my god, I'll show me another one from another guy. But we're gonna look that one up second. Ohd But okay, this is just a PSA announcement for all single men. Okay, First of all, that guy is thirty eight and single. And this is why no woman, I repeat, for the ten percent of male listeners, spread the word. Tell your homies to fucking tune in. No woman wants any man sending a fucking selfie video that

And if I send you and I don't even release some videos of that, like I've never sent a video. I've never I don't think I've ever sent a video like that, like me like looking like at the camera, like seductively, like maybe a picture. Maybe I have a full blown video if I'm showing tits and some cooch. Yeah, but it's like I'm about.

To know that that. But this was not No, this was not that. I don't know what it is. But literally, do not do it.

Do not.

I told first one we showed Erica's friend. He thinks that equates the sociopath. I thought it equated to bisexual.

Which showed my gay. Yeah, he's a gay male. And he told me he's gay, and I was like what.

I said the same thing, I said, do you think he's gay? It's either very gay or it's very into yourself narcissist.

I think it's more so that, and that's what turns me off because I don't I think I attract narcissists and I just can't. I don't want to do that. I can't do it again.

My second question was how the fuck old is he that he thinks that this is okay? And thirty eight was not an appropriate answer. I was looking more along the ages of eighteen. It was so disturbing or like forty.

Five, because you know, like they think that's hip, like they're trying to be hips oh with like the camera, but like, I.

Don't know, stop being hip, yo. Honestly, even if you're taking to me selfies, don't post. No bitches want to see you taking Hella selfies. I don't even want to see other bitches taking Hellas selfies. If you go all selfies, I don't want to see it and they all look the same.

Video really threw me off. He's really fine too, so like it really disappointed me.

Your gaitar is fucking off?

Oh god, I don't know. Yeah, but should we talk about a horri? Should we do a horry real quick?

Oh yeah?

I didn't share my horri from last week because I got scared Oho stories.

Okay, Well, bitch, now's the time. There's no ain't no ain't no fear on the pod. I know.

We I've been away for a while, so like my like, I feel like I got like I felt like a first time podcaster jitters, you know, liked our first episode, were like, should we talk ever since I in the paid sex episode? Bitch, I don't want to hear apork? Okay, I don't want to hear shit. Oh my gosh. Okay. So my horri actually happened on my first night in Barcelona and my girls went up to this like rooftop. It was like a three sixty view of the city.

You don't have to have pictures. I have pictures.

Oh yeah, Giovanni wa namee Gianni, Gianni that sounds Italian. It was someone with a g okay, And so we had a great time. We like went to go eat at this restaurant drink More, had this like amazing spread of a dinner with like oysters, your face, baya and more alcohol. It was great.

And then you always just really get men horny for real, girl, I was horny's girl. Yeah, I mean always horny the scorpiel bitch, I'm talking to you, okay.

But also he really was really sexy and like he told me he was the bachelor, and I automatically like, oh, I can't do.

Want to you didn't want to?

No, I didn't want to. I mean I did, but then I felt like, oh my god, like I was going to be married and someone fucked my fiance.

I don't really think i'd get mad.

I started relating, making it really personal, and I was like and then I was like we all went out and then he was like come back to my room, and I was like, no, I'm gonna go hang with my friends. I was like trying to be like good. So I went to hang out with my friends and they were all like on their own like dick adventures, basically like plotting and scheming. So I was like, well, fuck this, I want to go back and meet up with Gigi. So I called Gigi.

Sorry, why did be acting the phone?

You know what, I did you a favor. It is the last hurrah. You know, hopefully he'll be faithful for you for the rest of your life.

I gifted it to you. Probably not.

So anyway, I go back to his room and when I get there, it's like a very small room, like the bathroom and the bedroom are like basically on top of each other. So I go and I'm like, I use your restroom. He's like okay. So I go in the bathroom and I'm like peen, and I'm like fuck, I kind of have to shit, like.

I kind of do.

But I was like, I can't shit in here. This room is so fucking small, Like I can't be in here for like twenty minutes. He's gonna be like what is she doing in there? And so I was like, fuck it, I'll just hold it. It's not that serious. I can definitely have sex and be fine. So I'm like, okay, this is good.

You can't this.

Yeah, this is already going. People are like, did she shit on him?

Keep listening.

So I get out of the bathroom, like we start hooking up, kissing. He takes his clothes off. He has on like those little like like a speedout underwear, like very European, you know, like the ones that aren't boxer briefs, like like like the bikini style underwear. And I'm like, okay, that's kind of cute. He takes He pulls his hands down uncircumcised, which not shocked but hope it was hoping. Maybe not, But you know what else I can I'm making my work.

You can pull down. Yeah.

I was in a relationship with someone for three years who was on circum size.

I got this.

It's actually not that serious. So it's small. But I'm like, I'm here, fuck it, we're doing yolo. So we start having sex and it's cool, you know, we're like and doing our thing, and then like he flips me over, we start Jesus Christ.

Okay, go go go.

I definitely don't need my child hearing this. Goddamn wory.

Okay.

So then he turns me over. We start doing it doty style, and I hear him like pull out and like spit on his dick, and I was like, okay, like that's that's the sound I've heard many times in my life. Not that you need to do that, because a girl is ready all the time. I stay ready. So he spits on the deck and immediately shoves his dick in my ass like unannounced and just like pumps really hard.

Oh my god.

And I was like and I'm like thinking, like wait, what the fuck is happening? Ow, oh my god, I have to shit? Like am I shitting on him?

I can't even effortlessly.

He just no, like no warning, just like in there like oh real quick, like like I was you gotta It was almost like he knew I was gonna say no, so he needed to get it in real quick.

Okay.

He's like those a madecan girl, And at first.

I was in shock.

So it like all happened so fast, and I was like wait, wha what huh huh wait do I like this?

Oh wait after ship? Oh no?

And so then like at some point I really felt like I was shooting because it was.

All up been there.

So then I was like whoa, whoa, like stop, and.

He's like it was the wrong uh.

I swear that's what he said.

It was the wrongs your fucking Luigi.

Like you're in the Mario.

It's like, what are you doing?

He's like, oh, I'm a sor.

Hurts, like fuck, got hurts your accident right now.

So then I'm like, okay, regroup. Then so we start kissing and then he puts the condom. He starts he puts his dick back in me like regularly, and I'm like, whoa, you gotta like, you gotta change the condom. You can't just go from dick to like, no, you can't double, you can't go from ass Okay. So then he goes and changes the condom and I'm like, oh my god, Okay.

How did he he like lifted me up?

Oh my ducksh he's stuck in really little, and I was like, yo, wa no, it's like it was like, oh my god. Yeah, it wasn't like how many inches is that? Like that's like five five inches?

No, that's not five girl, that's four hard. I don't know.

It wasn't that big anyway, So was it skinny?

It was like average okay?

Yeah.

So anyway, he did that again, and I again protested, well, at least you know what, honestly, I'm gonna be keep it real. This time, I was like maybe I can do this, like maybe I'll try. Let me just try, like okay, like because I'm said missive, I'm like, you know what, this is what's gonna bring him pleasure. Let me try.

I couldn't do it.

I literally every time he pulled out, I literally felt like poop was coming out.

Of my bed.

Two in your head, you're like, well, what this doesn't work out the way i've.

But honestly, there was nothing on it, like because I surprisingly like he pulled out and I was like ready to see some crazy shit and there was nothing. And I was like, okay, but we didn't. You didn't finish that way. Like after like about one and a half minutes, I was like, I can't do this. Put on another condom. We finished. I was like, all right, peacegg I gotta go show. But I just was like, did this just

There's like a whole documentary that flocks about a famous porn star I think who's Italian and he's like really into Hona.

Yeah, I'm not really into ano.

Okay, so I think I said this before, Well, no, small dick's like ask sex.

I didn't realize that because I guess I've been very blessed with my dick selections. But I had a lot of small penises most asses.

She'd only like small dick assets because I don't want a big dick in my belt, I don't want to do it. And if your big dick is too big, I know. Yeah. The only time I've ever had like anal and it kind of felt good was if the dick was smaller.

I just feel like, will I ever ship the same again? Because honestly, when I went to the Bastic City, well, I mean, if you have it all the time, when I went home, I know this is TMI. When I got back to the hotel, I had so.

Much gas, there was so much, so much are coming out. I was like, who does this all the time? And how well the thing is?

I heard?

Once you get heard from a bird, once you get past a certain point and you like work your way up slowly like then, then that's when the pleasure comes in.

It's like, well here's the thing, here's the thing. I've had anal sex before, and I've actually enjoyed it before. I was more like it wasn't planned, but like it was like just discussed a little bit, not discussed, like we were having sex. And then I was like, I like we we built up to it. It wasn't just like abrasive and it's I haven't done it many times in my life. No, have I experienced pleasure from it? Yeah? I have, Yes, I have.

It's possible.

Yeah, it's hits. It's like a different sensation that's like if you get the right place, it can be pretty awesome. And it's like it's just freaking nasty for me. Yeah, if it can be awesome, but when it's unexpected and rape?

Did to know I'm not unexpected in rape?

Yeah, you gotta have you have to have warning. Even I talked to some of my gay friends.

I don't know if you have a lot of gay guy friends, I don't know if you discussed this, but I discussed it. They prepare, yes, like they starve themselves for twelve hours, which I was like, Oh, they prepare.

They they mentally prepared.

Because I don't. I can't fuck comfortably. Yeah, I can't fuck complicate. This is the thing further to be comfortable with somebody, very comfortable because anything could happen. Let's keep that in mind. Second of all, if you like, you got to be prepared, like you know, like have gone.

You know, there's a whole process to that. It's not like a surprise type of thing.

I don't think.

I mean, I've never prepared for it, and it's been I've never prepared for anal sex, and any time I've ever had it, I've never had anything come off, come out and expect it, which is very surprising.

Like I don't know how I've never had that happen.

Because also I'm a bitch with a lot of stomach issues, So I'm like I do I always have always had stomach issues, struggle with stomach issues my entire life IBS. But I think as I've gotten older, I don't really have them anymore. But like for a time, like it was like there's no way I can do anal Like there's it just seemed like I'm trying to get shit out.

Why would I want to put anything else in?

You know. But the one time that I with the few times that I did have anal sex with my ex, I really did enjoy it and he doesn't have a small dick.

You know, really you had to really get mentally prepared for that.

I mean, yeah, you gotta like lub it up and everything.

Yeah, like a loop. Do you like to get your assy? And yeah, me too? Look everything, look look me everywhere?

Ye why why but why you look that? You can't look that right?

The like Yeah, the weirder the spot, the more of into it.

Let's do it.

I'm a nasty bitch, so to be completely honest, me too, me too.

But yeah, that's my horry. And I have another horri I have many horries from that trip. So just keep tuning in all month and you'll hear.

Eventually we'll get to the end of them. We'll get to the end of them. Maybe by Christmas.

I'm just kidding reybe maybe, but yeah, shout out to congratulations getting married next month.

Congratulations see you and your wife.

I know.

So is that conclude today's episode?

I think that concludes our episode. And definitely make sure you guys are following us. Definitely make sure you guys are liking us on iTunes and Spotify. Yeah, like and like, leave a comment if you guys are failing us, please we really appreciate if you just leave a review, because you know, then we can get more people to listen. And we love connecting with people and just listening to your stories. And today I think I might have solidified a location for a meetup. Fingers crossed.

Oh oh oh oh okay, keep going. No, Also for all our LA people, we are definitely doing El Toedo Brunch because has anybody fucking been there? Yo, it's popping.

El Toedo Brunch is the secret gem of Los Angeles.

No literally on Van Eys and fucking no. Yeah, Ventura in the guy Ukaku. I'm sure that you know.

There's Altaido's everywhere, like I think we can go anywhere. Oh okay, okay, but that was specifically was popping.

Well you know why. I thought it was like it was becoming like it's becoming rare because this girl was like, oh yeah, we used to have one in San Diego. We were about to drive back. I met her in the buffet line and we we saw Elterito and we pulled over so we could eat here before we went back for brunch. So it made me think they were starting to close and the wells.

Yeah, I mean there's not they have clothes, a lot of El toritos. There's as many.

They should open them for Sunday because they had everything.

Bitch, I just want to the fact that she went before a long ash drive. I hope she wasn't driving, because there's no way I could drive to San Diego after that fucking brunch that ship was. There was everything. There was tacos, there was enchiladas. There was three different types of sevice.

Therelet barlet waffles, banana foster being made live with cinnamon, butter and ice cream, like pastry, all the Mexican bread drama, churros like it.

Was fruit cereal like literally, it was the most amazing twenty six dollars with the bottomless mimosa I've ever experienced.

And I was only pissed that we didn't get high.

First, Like what the fuck were we thinking? You knew it was good because we didn't even drink our mimosas we only had one and we didn't even drink.

No, we drink like a quarter of that because we're focused on the food and got too full.

It was delicious. So that's definitely going to be one of the meetups, even if it's just like y'all bitches, I'm going.

Yeah, even even it's just two of you. And today I met one of our listeners, Taylor, and it is so cool to like because we've I've never actually met any of you guys, so it was really cool to see her, like see her connect with her in person in person and be like, oh my god, like we have this like secret little connection you know me? Yeah, like you know so much about me and I want to know about you because that's only fair.

Yeah, and like even if you're far away, and we do we do love the love. We do like the shout outs and then like, hey, how you doing because I've been telling everybody like who DMS is my business? Like you're going through what? Oh my god, girl, me too because literally, so if you got some like questions, are going through some shit, don't hesitate because we're here. We're your village. Yeah.

Anyway, well thanks for tuning in you guys. This episode is hella long, and.

I don't know we said us every week we're yelling at the kids forty seven times, but somehow we still managed to keep on.

This week was I'm sorry, guys, like they were really extra today. I'm like low key disappointed.

Maybe it turned maybe it turned four.

This will get easier, maybe to get a lock on the door.

I don't know one together, but anyway, we will catch up with you guys next week.

Die yeast as your day unfolds. Challenge one to keep your hose trying to keep your head up to the screwm love a steam It cause your tears. Oh ahead, release your fears, Ma.

Ma Ita, And you're gonna ain't bone dringna, ain't wise. You're gonna be hard, You're gonna be tough, You're gonna be stronger, You're gonna be You gotta be com you gotta stat again.

Sa