530: The War on Children

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I hope there's one person out there trying to use OnlyFans' social media. Well, gosh darn it. No one ever reads my post. All my friends on here keep showing me their buttholes. I don't. This is a terrible way to find out what the best barbershop in town is. She seems shaved. Yeah. God awful. Movie! Welcome back to the Gamcast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because with no more QEDs to look forward to, what else are we going to do with ourselves?

I'm your host, Noah Illusions. Heath is off gallivanting about Europe this week, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend, Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir? Robbie Starbuck documentary, Noah. I can't help but feel this whole film, nay, perhaps this entire podcast was created so that I would have to one day say,

I hate the Starbucks. Yeah, that was my plan. It's been revealed and laid before you now. And also joining us this week is the man who killed QED, Michael Marshall Marsh. Welcome back. Hey, I brought it into this world and I can take it out. Yeah, that's what you keep telling me. So, Marsh, what will we be breaking down today? Oh, God, we watched The War on Children.

It's Robbie and Landon Starbucks' two-hour, 20-minute Twitter-premiered documentary about how the woke are coming to take and trans your kids. And listener, if you thought that this week we were actually going to do a film called It Takes a Village about the struggles of being young and trans in the modern world. Congratulations, you might be one of the interviewees who was tricked into appearing into this film. That's what they thought they were doing when they agreed to take part.

All right. Well, that's a big hint, but I'll go ahead and ask Eli. Anyway, Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, Noah, we've watched a lot of bad movies on this show. Poorly made, poorly acted, badly written. We've watched a lot of terrible documentaries that promote bad ideas. We've taken on so many liars who are genuinely evil people. And this week, literally all of those forces combine into the mistitled stock. footage homicidacular that is...

This movie. This movie is so bad that by the end of this movie, Michael Marshall, skeptical activist and host of Be Reasonable's notes are like, you should be fucking dead. I hope this person gets eaten by bears. 100% I regret nothing. Yes. Yeah. But gentlemen, gentlemen, there is a bright side. I have never been more certain in my life that the creator of a film will hear.

the review we are about to do. That's true. Filmmaker, auteur, and permanently wet man Bobby Starbuck made this absolute wet dog fart of a film, and there is no way. He is not hearing these words right now. Robbie, I am so happy to tell you what I think of you, Robbie, from the very bottom of my heart. As am I. And I'm glad to finally know which one is Robbie and which one is Landon. So you've just solved that riddle for me right there.

You're welcome. Yeah, and I'm under no illusions at all that my notes on this are enough to get me banned from America. I will have my visa denied just on the strength of my notes on this alone. For sure. You should cover these notes with a picture of J.D. Vance as a baby. And is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Oh, yeah, absolutely. The best worst deceptive interview tactics. Yeah.

Because as I mentioned, they have people in this movie that they lied about the name of the movie and the intent of the movie to make it seem like it was pro-trans rather than being this transphobic screed. There are parts of that where they will interview people and they will...

edit those interviews so closely and so often that it starts to look like a stop-motion animation. There's also times that they will cold call people who refuse to be in the film and edit the fuck out of those phone calls. conversations as well. Oh, it's so bad. And if you're wondering if all that edit makes it look like they win those conversations, no, no, it does not. No, they still don't manage to win the arguments.

Okay, given how much just pure evil there is in this film, this might seem like a weird one to go after, but I'm going with best worst apostrophes. No, completely. It needs to be said. They love that fucking apostrophe key. So throughout this movie, they're going to talk about all the different pillars of society that are trying to turn your kids trans or whatever. And as they introduce each one...

just be like politics. And then it'll have an apostrophe at the end of it for no fucking reason. Yeah. It just drove me nuts. It's like. You know, when you learn that if someone has an S at their name, but you want to use the possessive, you just leave the S and put the apostrophe at the end and it doesn't quite feel right. Yeah. I think they just apply that. Yeah. So like one of the sections of this film.

belongs to politics, I think. I think that's all they must be telling us with that apostrophe. It's possessive. Yes, it is. It's politics as a section. And I'm going to go with best worst villain origin story. So there is a villain in this movie, I won't spoil it, who has my favorite and then I became a tool of the right origin story. And I cannot wait to talk about her.

The fact that you said her is the only reason I know who you're talking about. All right. Yeah. Well, there is a lot of bigotry on the other side of the break. So we're going to take a quick break so everybody can brace themselves for it. But we'll be back in a minute with all the frothing, hateful misinformation that is. The War on Children. And then the toilet computer lets you catch up on writing while you do your business. Okay, and is that for number one or number two?

No, of course, it's for both. That's why the stand swivels. Oh, got it. Hey, guys, what you doing? Oh, hey, Eli. Now that Marsh has TMP, I'm showing him the lifestyle. Sorry, TMP? Too many podcasts. It's a condition that ravages our community, Marsh. Yeah, got it. But it's not all bad. At least you can still eat good with factor. What's factor?

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All right, everybody, welcome to the first ever writer's room meeting for the War on Children. And I got to say, we've got an incredible selection of talent. Right wing warriors today for the movie. Riley Gaines is here. I had to turn sideways to get in the door. Yeah, you sure did. I saw it. And we've got Rand Paul. Was that my neighbor? No, no, Rand. It's not your neighbor.

Oh, oh, oh, good. And finally, of course, you guys know this dude, Satan, Prince of Darkness is here. Yes, about that. Yeah, what's the matter? Honestly, I wasn't informed who else would be involved in this project. And I don't want to make things uncomfortable. But I can't be part of this anymore. Oh, come on. Man, we had a contract.

I am aware, but I was not aware of the condition of the souls I was being promised. I think it would be better for everybody if I just walked away. Wait, do we still get paid? Not now, Rand. No, it's fine. I'm leaving. Okay, fine. Well, we're just going to make the movie without you. I'm going to use my money to buy a hat. No, you're not, Riley. Nobody believes that.

I am. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open up listening to America the Beautiful over fucking dynamic video montage format number four. with a bunch of shots of drag queens and children watching them on TV. Yeah, it's the national anthem in a minor key because gay people exist. Yeah, it is. At one point it says, so I'd never heard of the Starbucks here at all. No idea who these were. So I had to actually look these up.

especially because it pointed out that the original music for this movie was by Landon Starbuck, which it turns out is her of the couple. It's the wife of the couple. So I looked it up. On her official website, she's listed as Landon is a national speaker writer. musician and warrior for children. She's doing the original music here. Her musical career is listed as third in a series of like three other bullshit credentials. She actually does do music. It's bad, but at least it's real.

Oh, and then Robbie, her husband, Robbie, cuts in and he goes, some say ignorance is bliss. So if you'd like to stay ignorant, turn the movie off right now. I wrote in my notes, cue 90% of his audience turning their TV off. Shit. Oh, I should have known my crowd. Yeah, right. I'm like, don't tempt me, Robbie. But he's right. I was...

I was blissfully ignorant of the existence of the Starbucks up to this point. And I was far happier for it. I didn't realize. So he sued Meta in April 2025 for 5 million in damages because their AI claimed he was part of Jan 6th. And so Meta apologized. blacklisted his name from the AI, and then fucking hired him as an advisor to address their ideological and political bias. So he was an advisor to Meta after that. Wow. Jesus Christ. Yeah. In fact...

Most recently, as of when we were recording this podcast, at least the most important thing Robbie has done is he was invited to like a networking conference and a bunch of companies pulled out just because he was going to be there. Oh, God. And he says that, you know, now's the time to turn the TV off. Look.

You wish this was on television. Like, you premiered this on Twitter and Rumble. Like, 99% of your audience watched this while they were shitting. Have no illusions about this at all. Yes, right. Now it's time to turn the phone to something. Your first four purchases were made in Bitcoin. So, and then... two sentences into the movie, he explains that we're going to take our place as, quote, a warrior protecting and preparing the next generation. That's the goal. Yeah.

So we're in Nashville, Tennessee. We see some bucolic shots of Tennessee. Yeah, we see their kids playing football. Their kids play soccer. Their shitted soccer. They apparently also blindfold their horses. Those horses seem blindfolded. Is that a Tennessee thing? I have no idea. It's so that they can't see Robbie coming. Yeah, right. It really is. This is also where we get the first look at the Starbucks and look.

Look, I don't claim to be a good looking man. But if my entire brand was that I was a warrior. And against a legion, a manly man, I would not want to look like Charlie Sheen went method playing a rapist otter. Robbie's Starbucks chin is so weak, Israel just bombed its hospitals. Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay, the other thing we have to point out is that in this first scene, you're like, oh, he slicked his hair back weird. No, his hair will be...

soaking wet at all times. Every scene of this movie. The last time Robbie Starbucks' hair was this wet, his mother was pissing while giving birth to him. He looks like the Mr. Hyde you turn into if you drink the cologne from the dollar store. How is it persistently wet for every shot? I don't know. The only thing I can think is that he dunks it just before they shout gold.

Or uses a mister. Or only films right after a shower. It must be the case. Yeah. And then they explain that they're a power couple that left the entertainment business because they wanted to. On purpose. The entertainment business would love to have them back. Again, it's so good. Her website lists and she says, I left the music industry as a billboard charting artist. That's a very specific bit of wording there. To focus on fighting child trafficking. But later on the site...

She's got a single out now. So I don't think she's left the music industry so much as the music industry has left her. Exactly. But they promised to expose the war on children. So now they're going to introduce us. to the weapons in The War on Children. And it's a fucking yarn and pushpins map, right? Literally. Like, it's been drawn out, but other than that, literally. Yeah. And here are just a few of the things. Well, I think this actually might be the whole list.

They have on that thing, they have education, entertainment, the news, big tech, medicine, politics, finance, and nonprofits. But everything else is on their side, guys. Yeah. Under entertainment, one of the things they list.

is podcasts. That's one of their enemies, podcasts. We did it, guys. We made it. We made it onto the list. Yeah. Well, look, I know Robbie's listening and I know Robbie just heard all the ways in which I described him. There is a chance Robbie now understands what it's like to have a podcast as an... They also, they list psychology as one of the things that's against them, which puts them in the same camp.

as Scientologists, like directly in the same camp as Scientologists. And I think even the Scientologists would distance themselves from these guys. Like, look, I know we're covering up the kidnapping of David Miskiewicz's wife, but we do have some standards. No, we're going to pass on Robbie Starbuck. No, thank you. No, thank you. And he's explaining about how they left Hollywood because of all of the...

the woke bullshit or whatever. And there's a montage going on, a stock footage montage that will last two hours and 20 minutes, by the way. At this moment, it seems to be, the theme seems to be drag queens, pride flags, burning cars, et cetera. Right. Fucking one of these things doesn't belong to the documentary. So, but he's like... The left is trying to normalize the existence of trans people just because they've always existed. This is where they start talking about the mere exposure effect.

Yes. Oh my God. It's amazing. So you know how a stupid person, me, will like learn some pop science and then just bore everyone around them with a misinterpretation of that pop science until it gradually leaks out. of their brain that's robbie starbuck yeah hope you enjoy it because that's this entire fucking movie yeah yeah it is and what they're saying is like the mere exposure effect is the more that you show someone something the more they like it but what he doesn't say is

that same effect works for disliking something, which blows her entire thing out of the water, which makes sense because the more that I've seen of the Starbucks, the more that I dislike them. So mere exposure is making me hate them. Right, yeah. I mean, you might like him more if Robbie Starbuck didn't look like he was kicked out of the Foot Clan for telling everyone he couldn't wait to rape a ninja turtle.

So, OK, so but they're talking about how like the TV shows, all the kids shows are trying to acknowledge trans people to turn your kids trans. And at one point, Landon says. That's why the kids are being bombarded with pharmaceutical ads on television. And I'm like, stay on task, lady. That's going to happen like six times in this movie where they're like, and also that's why the Jews control all the... Oh, sorry. Sorry. Dial it back. Dial it back.

You know what it's like? It's like sometimes Noah's trying to have a conversation with a normal human being who didn't connect their brain directly to the internet between 2014 and 2016. And they'll be like, oh, atheism. Oh, interesting fact. And I'll be like, here's a list of enemies I made. on Twitter. You can tell that's what Landon is doing to Robbie and he just eventually gives up. He's like, sure. Yes. Talk about fucking vaccines, hon. It's fine. High on alcohols, autism. Yes. For sure.

But, you know, we should take Robbie very seriously because he gives us his creds. He was a proper director. He worked with a lot of famous people. He talks us through the famous people he worked with. He see pictures of him with famous people. He worked with Natalie Portman. He might be the most unlikable director she ever worked with. And she worked with Luc Besson when she was 12, which is a bad time to work with Luc Besson. Woof. Yeah.

So, but he explains that everybody's trying to turn the kids gay and trans and then they go like, so. Why would every corporation want to make kids gay? And I'm like, that's a great question. That's an underexplored question in your fucking conspiracy theories, right? We should point out too that like all the time that they're doing this, they keep showing like headlines from newspapers, but like...

They're all newspapers that only exist online. So they've like printed this shit out and then crumbled it up to look like a newspaper. To make it look like the Daily Wire is being tossed onto porches across America. Yes, it's so great. But this is also because he's talking about...

mere exposure at this point, this is where he undermines his entire argument. He said, well, through mere exposure, you can, like, through being bombarded constantly with images of trans people, you can make it so that everybody just loves trans people. And I am... constantly bombarded by images of trans people. And I hate trans people. Right. My entire argument fell apart. Whoops. Whoops. Also, who decided that they should always be looking off to the side of the camera?

There are like six shots in this entire movie where either of these two people are looking at the camera that's filming them. Okay, to be fair, I think just a knife slipped during one of Landon's plastic surgeries and the eye just sort of does what it wants from now on. Okay, yeah, yeah. And also, like, she can't get through a single sentence without needing to cut away and overdub at least four. time so I think that's why we're getting these different angles of her midway through a sentence

I also, I wonder why she didn't make it in the entertainment industry if she's struggling to get a single sentence out without multiple cups. How is she getting a single sentence out with those cheekbones? Her cheekbones are so high they had to buy the air rights over her house.

Honestly, I thought she was AI to begin with. I genuinely thought she was AI. And that's just what she's paid someone to make her look like. But not one of the good AIs. The AIs that show up before a Pornhub ad to be like, real women are overrated. A couple of perverts in our audience get that reference. That's right, you naughty boys, girls, and pals. So, okay. So now we meet Justin Danhoff, a, quote, Wall Street expert, end quote. So he knows a lot about trans kids, right?

Yeah, he is now a senior policy advisor to the U.S. Department of Labor, by the way. So he really has the CV, the resume for this. I don't recommend reading Marsha's notes when you're listening to this podcast. Every time I checked on some goober, he was like... And now that person is the president of Lithuania. And I was like, oh, so OK, so so he's going to be their expert on why corporate America is trying to gayify all our kids. His opening question is, quote.

So how did wokeness take over corporate America? To which Danhoff says, well, you know, it was top down, bottom up and outside in. And I'm like, OK, that's just like what everybody wanted then. I wrote my notes. This is a very long paragraph that equates to nobody is as bigoted as they used to be. Right. Yeah.

Because he even says he went to like shareholder meetings at Amazon, Facebook and Google. And then he got mad that they basically paid corporate lip service to the idea of equality in order to like secure their profits. So yeah, I guess Amazon don't care what race you are as long as... you're pissing in a bottle to make sure you don't miss on your quotas. That's what they mean by equality. Yeah, exactly.

He's like, you know, and all the banking got taken over by the lefties. I'm like, yeah, those bankers are notorious lefties. That's right. Bunch of commies. His example, by the way, of one of the leftist companies. Black rock. Yes. Literally black rock. Yes. Well, there's one point there. He's like, well, you know, they ask him, you know, quote, what is ESG and how is it used to push woke ideology? But then he never.

Remotely tells us what ESG is. I still don't even fucking know. But what he does say is he's like, well, you know, Jesse Jackson applauded when they got it. So, you know, it's pretty fucking bad.

Do you think at the point that they were making this, they thought ESG would be the new DEI, which was the new critical race theory? Yeah. So they thought, okay, we're going to move on to ESG next. They made the whole documentary and then ESG, like, stopped trying to make ESG happen, essentially, is what...

You're never going to make ESG happen. Now, by the way, you didn't have this privilege, podcast listener, but I did. This is where I watched Marsh start to get overwhelmed with the sheer volume of... bullshit, right? Because the first page of Marsh's notes, he was like, oh, let me debunk this. Let me debunk that. This is the part where Marsh was like, well, none of this is true. I don't have to fucking Google whether or not the NASDAQ will delist you if you don't have two black guys on your...

Right. And that's because for the previous scene at the end, I wrote, fuck me. I'm only five minutes into this two hour and 20 minute film. This is seriously dense bullshit. I've got to move on faster than that. Yeah. Honestly, this is this is one of those documentaries. that I genuinely wish I had a week to work on. I genuinely wish I could take some time off and debunk every little piece of this stupid fucking movie.

Honestly, there were parts in the research I was doing as I was going through this that I forgot which show that I was doing and I thought I was doing No Rogan. I said, oh, I can find a study that shows, no, that's not this, that's not this. Can I talk about my favorite piece of bullshit, though, in this insane sequence? please. Which is where they say that according to ESG, you have to have three gay events a year. Yeah, you have to be gay three times a year. Yep.

And so they try to come up with them. They're like, well, obviously you have to celebrate Pride Month. And then the Super Bowl has to be gay. And then, wow, you're still looking for another gay thing. Groundhog Day? That seems pretty gay, right? Yeah, I had the annual office rimming away day, but Groundhog Day is just as good. And like, the next thing he says, or next thing she says, rather, she says like...

She feels like corporate America has given a giant middle finger. And I wrote, actually, the giant middle finger is one of the options for that third gay day. Yeah, it's true. So and then they ask him, they're like, so, you know, what happens if you step out of line and you don't follow all of these gay ass rules? And this is his actual answer. He says the companies are, quote, tarred and feathered and shamed.

And I'm like, okay, so no real answer then, unless you actually think that you're going out and tarring and feathering Jeff Bezos for not being gay enough. I wrote in my notes, I don't know if he thinks this is a literal thing or not. Yeah. Right. So, okay. So then we get a title card for finance apostrophe. Yeah.

Right. This broke me. My notes at this point are just, why can they only afford one scare quote? Is the second scare quote more expensive? Or maybe it's just scarier. Maybe they're like, okay, we don't want to scare them too much because, you know, we want people with sensitive souls to watch this. It's like not showing the monster at the beginning of the movie. No, we saw Landon. She looks like if eating disorders had court-appointed counsel.

Okay, I love this opening quote here for the fucking, the finance. It goes, Target has given $2 million to secretly transition. kids against their parents' wishes. But State Farm went a step further. And I wrote in my notes, they just cut off a kid's dick for nothing. Just walking along the street in a carnival. Yeah! One of those big sickle things.

It's like $2,001,000. That kind of price is right thing. Like, oh, fuck you, Target. Oh, man. Yeah, so, but okay. And so what we're watching now is they're scrolling through the sponsors page on Gender Cool's website. I believe that's the website that- They're demonizing at this point. But they'll find a bunch of like, you know, this group...

seeks trans equality and these companies gave money to it and therefore they're evil. But it is like, obviously, none of these, all these corporations, all they're doing is that they've stumbled on here that corporations will pretend that they will believe in stuff for good PR. That's the whole thing.

talking about here. These corporations don't actually give a shit about any of that. But it is wild to me that we're currently being lectured on gender affirming surgery from what this woman has paid someone to make her look like. The more gender affirming of all surgery you could imagine has been done to this lady. Landon's jawline is so fake that when she posts a selfie on Twitter, it gets a community note.

Violates a copyright or something. Copyright infringement from all the people who worked on it. It's like she puts the videos up, but all the money will go to the person who did it. When you use a popular song on YouTube. Yeah, exactly. So, OK, but then they explained to us and they got a bunch of headlines from the Daily Mail to back them up. But they're like, sometimes powerful people push back and pull back the curtain to expose the woke army. Powerful people.

Like us, the Starbucks, we're pretty, geez, we're charting. Oh, and it's great because I think the end, this sort of scene with them saying, and after talking to Justin, we still had questions. And I was like, yeah, like, why did we talk to Justin? That's one of the questions. What the fuck was the point of that? So now we're going to meet former ad exec Brett Craig. So, you know, he's going to know a lot about gender science.

Yeah, they've gone to an ad exec to find out what's really true. So a classic source of truth. Someone who works as an executive in the advertising industry. So yeah, so she asks about DEI. And he says, and you know, he was practicing this line. He Orwells and he goes, diversity is conformity. Equity is unfairness. And inclusion means exclusion. Boom, mic dropped. Also.

I know this is a tiny thing to care about, but they don't have a second camera. So they've positioned themselves three inches from each other's faces for this interview. It's amazing. His feet are in between the sets of their feet. It is. And I just hope that's how their armchairs always are in that living room. Just an insanely high stress environment at all times.

Oh my God. And so here's this actual fucking question to him. Again, the leading question, it's almost best worst leading questions. He says, quote, Are they intentionally sexualizing our children and stealing their innocence? So we're just interviewees like, oh, yeah, no, I'm just once in this movie. Yeah, that's all they do throughout the movie is they write these incredibly leading.

questions. And just once in the movie, I wanted one person to go, no, man, are you in psychosis? I wanted that so bad. I wanted it so, so bad. Because they talk about advertising. I mean, I don't care what happens in the advertising industry. Why do they care what happens in the advertising industry and ad agencies and stuff? But at one point, he says, you've got to remember, every ad is about advancing wokeness.

Okay, but no, I saw a Febreze ad where a dog cleaned its own stink from a sofa by spraying it with a cleaning spray. What woke ideology is that pushing? Veganism. Bestiality, obviously. So, yeah, and then he says that there's so many of these stupid fucking warnings like this as well. So Brett Craig at one point says, and I quote, if we don't speak up, it's over real fast from here.

I don't think it's going to take long now. Now, you might be thinking I've left out some context. You know, what thing is he talking about happening? No, it's just a general it's going to happen kind of warning. Yeah. They encourage you to talk to your kids about how advertisers are trying to turn them gay. And I read in my notes, yes, please let your kids know that you're crazy early and often so they can find other sources of information.

Yeah, he goes, they're like, you know, look at how effective the boycotts against Target and Budweiser were. You can use your money as a weapon. And as they say that, we cut to like an MMA Superman punch. Look how badass you could be by boycotting targets. Every time you drink a Heineken, you are striking a blow against the top of the skull.

gayness. But that's it. It's like you can boycott companies and bring them to their knees like those shadows of their former selves. Yeah. Woodweiser and Target. Which we haven't even heard of anymore. I mean, what even happened? Now that they lost big conservative. Yeah. So, okay. So now we're going to introduce the specter of social media for our section on big tech apostrophe. And when they show this, like the...

we weren't exaggerating about the yarns and pushpin things. So they'll have big tech and then they'll have a list of the big tech under it that's trying to turn your kids gay. And the list, this isn't the entire list, but it's like YouTube, TikTok, Facebook. threads, Amazon, Google, election integrity, partnership, Twitch, Pinterest.

Check out what my friends are on up to over at Election Integrity Partnership and OnlyFans. Yes, right. OnlyFans was on there. To be honest, the one that stood out to me was Threads. Threads made the list. Yes, right. You know the people in threads were like, yes, yes, I told you guys, I told you guys. Do you think, I hope there's one person out there trying to use OnlyFans' social media. Well, gosh darn it, no one ever reads my post. All my friends on here.

keep showing me their buttholes. This is a terrible way to find out what the best barbershop in town is. She seems shaved. Yeah. So, okay. So this is where we meet Kara Frederick of the Heritage Foundation. She's like the Heritage Foundation's expert on social media, I guess.

Fuck me, the Heritage Foundation. Honestly, there's like eight billionaires that run all of America and they just keep putting different hats on and appearing in different rooms. Yeah. Right. But then this is the first time we see like... one of the stealth interviews they did with a trans kid that they lied to. And we also meet Layla, the formerly trans kid that detransitioned that they're going to interview. Yes.

for a substantial portion of this movie. Yeah, and Layla might as well be doing this interview with her fingers crossed looking just off camera towards a loaded gun. Right, right. So we're going to hear more from her in a minute. And this is also where we meet Victoria, who is a woman who used to do porn.

is now a naturopath. And I'm like, oh, you had a respectable job, Victoria. Come on now. Yeah, this is Victoria Cult, K-U-L-T, the former Ponseran naturopathic doctor. A lot going on just in that one Chiron alone. There's a lot to unpack from that Chiron. Marsh just sent me this picture as a screenshot. Yeah, I did. Yeah, just so you can really understand what this is about. And I'm not going to say that Victoria Cull, the former porn star turned naturopathic doctor.

isn't a reliable expert. But when I Googled her, she can be found as a biohacking expert eating raw liver as part of her ancestral diet Instagram. That's where she currently is right now. Yeah. Interesting. So, you know. So this is also where they're going to introduce this. Now, it's very clearly like a church group from some like church group kids conference or something. But they present it as though these are just a bunch of teenagers off the street.

Right. Yeah. I had it as now let's hear from these half a dozen of unnamed young people from unstated background that we promise are just regular normal kids. It's nice to meet our listeners before they lose their religion. I cannot. how many of these people will be at our live show within the next five years. There is one blonde girl with like a bob and she is like three months out from being at your live show. She's so ready. She almost hears it during the end.

interview yeah fucking sports jacket girl model UN girl sports jacket model UN girl is cause she's obviously the most emphatic and it's because she's already having the gay dreams and she's like yes exactly totally tears running down her cheeks. And she agrees vehemently. So, okay, but these kids are worried about social media and all the sex they're seeing on TikTok and...

Robbie is asking, and these questions are all, they might as well come with their own fucking leash. At one point, church girl number four gives away the game because she refers to the LGBTQ religion. There's also this one girl who goes like, well, yeah, like you might not know it, but there's actually more girls that are addicted to porn than guys. I used to watch a lot of porn. Not me. Not me. I mean other people. There's other thing.

One kid says, I saw my friends turn into transgender. Yes, these transgenders. Like it's the fucking guy who crawls into the inn at the beginning of a werewolf movie. Yes, right. It's a full moon. Because it cuts as well. It's a really weird cut, like an edit in it, which is I grew up with the kids I grew up with turn into.

And then a cut. These transgenders. What happened in the middle of that sentence? Yeah, sports girl has my favorite quote. She goes, my friend clicked one website and they became addicted to porn. Yes. Which website? And so speaking of very reputable sources, it's now time to interview the woman behind...

The libs of TikTok. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. And what's amazing is they actually give us libs of TikTok's origin story. Right. So if you're not aware of libs of TikTok, first of all, congratulations on your healthy, functioning brain. Yeah. This is a person who got. their start by making fun of people who were scared and upset about COVID. But then when COVID became less cool because all the COVID deniers were dead, she switched to just like finding what she thinks of as cringe.

leftist videos, which a lot of the time are just trans children sharing their experience on the internet and she bullies them. And she's going to tell us that she got gay stuff right away. And I wrote in my notes, it's an algorithm, girl. It's based on what you watch the longest. She said she joined TikTok and the...

first thing she saw was trans content. And it's like, yeah, I think it just knows you. I don't know what to say. I think it just knows what you're into. Well, right. So during COVID, she realized she could make a living being a bigot. So she started doing that.

And then she realized that the gays were coming for your kids. You see, we see a shot of a pride parade where a bunch of gay people are very obviously, ironically chanting that they're coming for their kids. Yes. Right. Their tongues are like literally in their cheeks. It's an unrelated thing. It's a gay thing apparently, but yeah. But he asks at one point, he asks the church group, he goes, which is more dangerous for kids in your generation, cigarettes or social media?

And all of them are like, oh, yeah, no, social media. Fuck, give me a Marlboro. You got a Marlboro? God, I wanted G.I. Joe to pop up and be like, you guys are fucking lame. I'm leaving. But they're probably right. Well, yeah, no, they're probably right about that. I think that's mostly like, you know, hats off to the anti-smoking campaigns that made it no longer cool. But yeah. Yeah.

Like smoking is terrible for you, but social media has fucked up everything about their entire future. Yeah, right. You know, have a cigarette. The world's on fire. No one's smoked away our democracy. Yeah, exactly. I just have to point this out that the libs of TikTok lady, and it's weird that I can say this, but I hope you guys agree. She's not good at making up bullshit on the spot. I had a moment where I was just appreciating how smoothly most people make up bullshit.

At one point she says this, she goes, but it's not just China. It's also adults who are visiting corrupt values on children. And I'm like, girl, do a second take. Right. There's also a moment here where we're going to see. So one of the kids tells us that Russia and China are laughing at us for being so gay. And then we see Robbie and Landon like straightening their kids up a little bit. And one of the first things we see in that montage is one of their kids going across the fucking zip line.

which I love so goddamn much. Just to fuck with Eli. Yeah, 100%. Really wants me to hate all the Starbucks regardless of generation. He said, they're like, you know, so make sure your kid is a bigot. You know, only you can make your kid a bigot. Get on that. Yeah. Your kids are going to hate you for thinking Facebook is a Chinese tool to turn them gay, but that's okay. Yes.

And then we get, so this is an actual goddamn fucking line from the movie. I swear I'm just transcribing at this point. Quote, Robbie Landon Cuntin is the narrator. He goes, to understand where we're going. You have to understand where we are, where we were, and where we're going. I'm like, well, mostly that last one, but yes. Yeah, the last one does a lot of it. Yeah, 100%.

But yeah, he's like, you know, it used to be that schools weren't all fucky. People would do wholesome shit with their kids. And when we sang the wholesome shit, we see his kid shooting a handgun. The kid's like nine, right? The handgun's the size of the kid. Yeah, you can't see it, but the trans classmates are running away from me. Oh, God.

So, yeah, but it's just this boomer ass. There didn't used to be list that he goes on for a while. Yeah. His exact sentence is we almost never sexualized kids in schools back in the old days. And I was like, hey. Hey, Robbie. Hey, Robbie, real quick. What do you mean? Almost. Yes. In school, man. I thought he was going to like, there must be a cut version where he's like, except of course for penis inspection day. We all remember and hated.

that I think the other thing he said he's like he gets mad about seeing like kids at school seeing two women intimately embracing and what we see is a footage of them So they're not even kissing at this point. This is just a hug. And he's like, no, no, no, leave some space for Jesus in there. Yeah, right, right, yeah. It's the video of a gay wedding. Yeah. Oh, is it? Yeah. Sealed with a hug. I mean, that's not okay in the sense that he's got a point. It's like, I now understand the context.

But we also meet Jessica Tapia here. She's a canceled public school teacher who was fired just because she was openly bigoted towards her trans students. Yes, and now she works for PragerU. She works for PragerU right now. I'd have rather just interviewed an actual tapir, like the animal tapir. It would have been far better. Just flapping there on the chair. You know what? Not transphobic. We love him. Also, does she teach gym for PragerU? Because that's what she taught before she got fired.

Yeah, exactly. But yeah, but she explains how she was abused, sexually abused as a child. And if trans people had their way, nobody would ever get arrested for. Child abuse, it's convoluted as all fuck. It is convoluted because she said she was assaulted when she was younger and it's not by a trans person because they'd have fucking said so if it was by a trans person.

What we've learned just from that bit is that the threats to kids aren't trans people or books because it was neither of those things that put her in that situation. It was a cis guy. Right. So, yeah.

So then the title card catches up to the movie, apparently, because we've already been talking about it. We get education apostrophe. And this is where they start telling us about the dangers of comprehensive sex education, which is such a weird fucking argument to make. They were just making the argument about how important it is.

for children who are sexually abused to have the language to talk about it. And now they're going to argue against sex ed. Yeah. And can I save you 27 minutes of the movie? Because this is their argument. So the lady who... designed a bunch of the sex ed curriculum. Not all of it, but some. So she's on the board. Her husband, wait, stop. Her husband produced some burlesque shows. Yep. Yep.

That's it. Oh, my God. We go through 90s. This guy, Seth Gruber, takes us through 97 miles of yarn and pushpins to get there. Hey, Marsh, you're a little familiar with Seth's work, are you not? Well, no, I had to look into him. So I got really confused because he was, I looked him up and he's from the White Rose Resistance. He's the CEO. A lot of resistances have CEOs. Yes, the CEO of the White Rose.

And the thing is, this is where I started to lose my mind because I spent literally years investigating the White Rose anti-vax movement on Telegram. I spent the pandemic on Telegram in those groups. So I had to go, I actually went back into Telegram to check if this... Seth Gruber is involved in the White Rose. Hey guys, I'm back. And the thing is, the anti-vax White Rose have said that they're aware of him. They don't deny any links to him, but they don't confirm it.

But he set his thing up, the White Roars, in 2022, which is obviously after 2020 when the White Roars started up. So I think he might have been part of that, maybe. But his thing, the White Roars resistance that they do not tell you in this movie. is explicitly just an anti-abortion group. Oh, really? So that's what he's all about. I looked at his podcast. He had a podcast. At one point, he interviewed Peter McCulloch, a well-known vaccine denier, about how bad the COVID vaccine is.

So I think he might have been the same white rose and he's now trying to have like plausible deniability to distance himself from the telegram group or at least, at the very least, he's heard of them. But what I can say is he's in a suit. He's wearing formal shoes.

he's got no socks on, so he's basically a monster. Well, and also his feet are right in between the interviewers because once again, they have that tight, stupid shot going. Yeah, exactly. So, but yeah, but... but basically he, he, he gives us fucking back to bacon levels of trying to attach Mary Calderon to Alfred Kinsey or whatever.

But that's the whole thing. And then they start talking about how there's a bunch of porn in schools. Now, these liberals will tell you that there's no porn in schools, but they found otherwise. And then we get my favorite goddamn scene in the fucking movie. This is where we meet Pastor John Aminchukwu and... So this gentleman is going to have fucking gay children's books described to him.

in detail and be wildly uncomfortable about it for the next seven minutes. It's amazing. Okay. So let me, a little behind the scenes here. So Pastor Aminchuku is African-American and the Starbucks were like, nice, we got a black. Guy. So what they do is they're like, so if you saw a children's book where one child was rimming out another child's ass going, yummy, yummy, poopy. I love it in my tummy. And he's like, that's fucking horrible. Let me be my own version of a picket.

Yeah. Why you guys got to set me up like that? And he's in such a nice suit. And I just want them to spend the rest of the two hours left of this movie just describing more and more gay sexual acts in great detail while he sits there in his fancy little suit. It's great. Also, the chyron for this chap is just dad protesting porn in schools with capital letters in each of those. So I thought, oh, is that the name of his org?

No, that's just what they've described. No, he's just a dad who... It's just a basic description. And he's a pastor, right? You have a fake title, man. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and they're like reading little excerpts of books and stuff like that. And...

They're pretending that these are being given to like seven year olds. Most of these books that they're talking about are books that are given to like 15, 16, 17 year old kids. Yes, it is. Yeah. And yes, some of them talk about like masturbation and rape.

you know, which, hey, probably a good fucking thing for kids to know about, for teenagers to know about. Yeah, let's get the Bible out of schools. I agree, Pastor. Right, yeah, right. But there is an amazing line. There's an amazing line. After they give him one of the excerpts from the... book in which someone like swallows their own cum. Pastor John says,

well, what educational benefit will a child learn from even thinking about the idea of ingesting their own body fluid? And honestly, genuine laugh out loud moment, just at the length of the sentence and the twist it kept taking. It was beautiful because like... It's not a math textbook right there. It's not like Adam ejaculates eight milliliters of cum into a glass. John adds five milliliters. And Pete adds a further 12. How much cum will Adam swallow in total? That's not a shit.

six ooky cookies. There's this great, he goes, what do you say to people who say there's no porn in schools? And he says, they have reprobate minds. And then there's a pause while they wait for them to just not give my word a day calendar answer. And he's like, I mean, they don't, they don't like the.

They're bad. Porn. They're bad. Yeah. So, yeah. But also, Pastor John starts explaining how men are superior to women. Yep. Right? And that men need to stand up at this point. Would you say men? Or would you say men? In an attempt to drive Michael Marshall truly insane, he's like, man, it needs this. And Marshall's like, okay, there's a weird, man, it needs this. And he's like, come on, surely. He's like, I see Marshall like Googling.

pronunciations across the United States in its notes. He also starts talking about how, why does he start talking about searing things with a hot iron? Anybody who feels that way should be seared with a hot iron. I'm sure he says something like that. And I think we found the genre of books that he likes, that he'd have been quite happy for them to keep reading to him if it contained that kind of stuff.

Yeah. No, he talks about when they're asking about people who disagree with him, he says, well, you know, their conscience has been seared with a hot iron. And I'm like, that's it. Yeah. No need to understand the other side of the story if it's because their conscience has been seared by a hot.

And they even kind of like stumble into that by accident. They're like, you know, in these books that we're talking about, you know, these are books that are approved by, you know, all of these library associations and all these teachers unions. And we're like, oh, well, you must be misrepresenting them then. Right. But instead they're like, but look at these fucking teachers unions. We've looked at their literature and at their conference, they have like.

critical race theory modules and climate change modules and social justice. They have to be full of shit, right? They're showing this by highlighting the text. So they're just taking the words that they are scared of on the agenda and highlight decolonizing safe and then later in the sentence spaces. There's one point they just highlight the word gender.

Scary word. Right? Scary word. I guess it is. I'll just say, just before we leave Pastor John, there's one more thing I want to say. There's a point at which he says, The enemy hasn't crept around the back door. We brought the enemy in through the front door and given him the red carpet. And I wrote, again, was that from one of the smut books that they were reading? Because by all means, use the front door during the red carpet, but you're going to want to put...

a towel down on the bed. Yeah. They show they highlight the words transformative change. And I wrote in my notes, they think that means being trans, don't they? Probably. Yeah. Transformative pedagogy or something. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then, of course, they have the like. straight into the camera what to do about it moment where they're like, yell at teachers, you know, start shit at your schools about this.

And on that note, I think everybody needs a break to hug a teacher. So we're going to take that minute. But we'll be back soon with even more of The War on Children. All right. What about robot legs? Ah, we don't have time to heal. Oh, damn it. Hey, guys. What are you doing? Oh, hey, Marsh. We were just prepping for the Nicola races. The Nicola races? Like my wife. That's right, Marsh.

We might be in a position to walk between one and three blocks with Nicola at QED this year, and if we're not in the right shape, we're toast. She doesn't walk that fast. She made a sonic boom last year. It was only a little one. And besides, if you want to get into shape, you should just try FitBod. What's FitBod? FitBod creates a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level and available equipment. Sounds great.

It is. And with over a thousand demonstration videos, FitBob makes sure you're doing each exercise the right way to get the most out of every workout. But have you actually tried it? Well, I have. I love that FitBot adjusts my workout, whether I'm in a fully stocked gym or working out in a hotel room. That's why I know Illusions personally endorse FitBot. All right, Marsh, we're sold. Where do we sign up?

Level up your workouts. Join FitBod today to get your personalized workout plan. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app free for seven days at fitbod.me slash gam. That's F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash gam. Right on. Thanks. Well, it looks like we might be able to keep up with Nicola after all. Really? Because like this week, she accidentally walked across the channel. Right. But the water? The water. Yeah.

now mrs gaines how do you respond to the accusations that you've been cursed by trans witches and are turning into a pumpkin Well, Tom, this is just another example of the radical left and the lies they're willing to spread against women in sports. Right. All right. But your head is like a perfect circle. Yes, it is, Tom. And once again, the left has descended to personal attacks like the time Simone Billis told me to pick on a man my own size.

Yeah, that was pretty funny. Now, you do appear to be growing leaves out of the side of your neck, though, in those little... Again, Tom, this is a thing that natural, real women experience. I am here to represent the experience of a real... natural woman, and we grow leaves sometimes. Okay, what? The fact that you're turning orange? This is just makeup in the South. All right. Well, thanks so much for joining us. Would you like to wait out front for your Uber?

Yeah. Can I hold a candle in my mouth? I'll see what we can do. We're going to get in trouble for that one. And we're back for more of this shit. And now it's time to demonize social and emotional learning. Yeah. Right. They're like, well, you know, it started as anti-bullying. And I'm like, well, I guess I can see why you guys are against it then. Yes. Learning to share in kindergarten is their enemy. Yep. Yeah. Folks.

This is why this is Lisa. What's her name? Lisa Logan, who is listed simply as social emotional learning expert. Yes. And everybody, this is she has a anti-social emotional learning. podcast okay she does and this is why it is so important we should never ever say that nobody should kill themselves, right? Okay, Eli. Whatever else she does in her life because she has an anti-social emotional learning podcast. It is so bad. She's introduced as social emotional learning.

If you go to her appearance on The Dark Side of the Rainbow, the podcast from Gays Against Groomers, she gets introduced there as a mom of three and a vocal critic of SEL. But that makes her an expert for this movie. Yeah. a substack called, the title of the substack was SEL plus ESG equals social credit system. I've tried. I don't understand what she's getting at, but that is the title. That is her argument. Wow.

So, yeah, but she explains that, you know, SEL started as anti-bullying, but then they realized that to be truly empathetic, you have to be honest about American history. That's a whole can of worms right there. But this is also where we meet Alvin Liu. He is the founder of, quote, Courage is a Habit. I have no idea what that was. At this point, I could not be bothered to look these assholes up anymore. Oh.

I looked him up. I looked him up. I found his Instagram, which is set to private, but his Instagram lists him as... an illusionist. Oh, really? His Instagram is magicofalvinloo. I checked. It's definitely the same guy. I found his Facebook page where he's still being a magician. So... Eli, your representation in this movie, I'm sure you're right. Man, didn't realize I was going to have to take a hit for multiple communities here, but yeah, no, that is, that is rough. Yeah.

It's weird to say that mentalism is someone's second worst hobby. Well, and there's this great moment here where the two, like him, like Robbie Landon, or sorry, Robbie Landon. They're so interchangeable to me in this movie. Robbie Starbuck.

And Alvin Liu are just sitting there and they're just back and forthing these nonsense things that like these dog whistles, right? These things that like, I can't even figure out what the fuck they mean because I'm not part of the echo chamber, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah. But if they claim at this point that San Francisco doesn't arrest people for stealing because they're too woke. Yep. I feel like they do.

That's very funny. Yeah. They also claim that they make rape victims face their abusers, which is just a truly psychotic way to describe restorative justice. Yes, it is. They also say that he goes at this point, he goes. Because they're talking about all the shit that's going on in the schools. He says, now you might be thinking this sounds like communism. Because you're a fucking idiot.

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. And this is where they have the line, while not all teachers are communists. I agree. Not all teachers are communists. I can agree with you. I laughed out loud. I laughed out loud. So, yeah, he says that, you know, they're teaching transgenderism to toddlers. And I'm like, along with genderism, though, right? Like, yeah, I get it why you would want to teach that to toddlers. He also says they claim here that Joe Biden.

is trying to make schools. Of course, this was released during the Biden administration. He was trying to make schools that have their own health care systems, which sounds great, except for that's how they're going to transition your kid's gender without your permission. Right. Yeah. I was wondering why healthcare was the scare point of that sentence. They're going to give your kid access to healthcare. Yeah. Now that makes sense. Okay. That makes sense to me.

Also, they say stories like this happen so often, the shock factor begins to fade away. And it's like, yeah, almost as if we're used to finding out every single time it's not true. And that's why we're not shocked when we hear it anymore. It's just a lie. Exactly. He goes like, you know, these are no longer public.

schools. These are state schools because they don't tell you both sides of the issues. They only tell you the liberal side. And I'm like, yeah, right. During the active shooter drill, they should really pause to talk about the fun of duck hunting. Right? Yeah, I mean, I couldn't do much with this. I did write in my notes, like, Alvin, if your sentence doesn't end with, and was this your card, I am not listening to you. And honestly, even if it does, if it does, I'm still not listening to you.

It implies at one point that they want to make kids trans so they'll be better soldiers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Take me there, Alvin.

He also uses the phrase climate change-ism at one point. And this is a great moment where you can see the Starbucks pause to let him re-say his sentence. And he's just like, nope, sticking with... climate change is also kids in kindergarten are taught how to think like a critical race theorist I guess in that you're trying not to eat the crayons or shit your pants which critical race theorists also don't do no you're right they don't though yeah

They go to the bathroom in the big potty. And then we check back in with Pastor John so he can explain how he doesn't feel included by DEI. And he gives this just truly insane figure. He says, in North Carolina, they have a DEI office for the schools that spent over $8.7 million pushing DEI since 2013. This film was made in 2024. He says, and they have nothing to show for it. But like I did the math, that's...

52 cents per student per year. I wonder why it isn't working. Probably it's a flawed concept. You can get a pen with a logo on. That's all you can get for that. You can get a branded pen. And Pastor John didn't personally see any results from it. So that's why it's a waste of time. Right. Yeah, exactly. But then, OK, so they have to deal with the fact that people watching this probably know a teacher who isn't a communist.

So they're like, you know, so yeah, there are good teachers, but they're getting drowned out by the by the system. Yeah. And like there are good teachers, but never mind them. Let's go back to Jennifer Tapia. Yes. Right. Yes. Like speaking of what, here's one that got fired for being a bigot. Yeah.

And this is, of course, where she admits that the reason she was fired was because she was being forced to use kids' chosen pronouns. No, she was forced to lie. Well, that is lie. Because she says, if you use someone's preferred pronoun... You're lying if you think about it, she says. Yeah, if you think about it not very hard. If you think about it any harder than hardly at all, then yeah, fine. Also, she refuses to use their chosen pronouns. Among those chosen pronouns...

Clown, clown self is the real pronoun that some people use. Yeah, that is a quote. Hey, if you're so stupid that you think people are actually using the pronoun clown, clown self. You should be dead. You should be dead in a place where they can eat your body. You understand? No, you should be alive in a place where they can eat your body. Come on. Let's get this right. There's no way your body is being used to its maximum potential.

While it's saying the words clown self is a real pronoun that some people use. Yeah, like at that point, all of your potential is purely chemical potential. Exactly. The chemistry of your body could be better used as. Well, you might be like standing at a peak. Right? Potential energy for kinetic, yeah. Yeah. So, okay, but so...

Tapia tells us, you know, there was a public part where they demanded that I use the kids chosen pronouns. But then there was a secret part of my instructions that there's no proof of anywhere. You can't prove it if I'm lying. Where she was also not allowed to tell the parents what. pronouns their kids were using. And right after she says that, we see a stock... image of street riots. Tell me what pronouns my kids are using. Clown, clown, self. Clown, clown, self.

But yeah, but then he explains that kids were asked to turn their parents in. Sorry, this is where he's telling us how we're becoming a communist country, right? Yeah. And is this where they throw up some evidence of that? And then like they throw on screen their evidence for the claims that he's making. And it is his Twitter account. They're citing his own Twitter in his own movie. Five of six, yes. Yes, and if you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe.

Also me. These billboard listed tweets. Yes. But he's like, you know, and maybe you think your kids would be safe in private schools, but that's no guarantee of anti-wokeness. So this is where they're going to demonize the NAIS, which I don't I'm not really familiar with. It's an educational organization that. private schools sign on to. Yeah. Spoiler alert. If you look up any of the institutions that they villainize in this movie, it's a fucking like library institution where they're like,

read with Robbie the rabbit. Yeah, it's right. Right. Yeah. Well, they're trying to demonize this group and they say, you know, that group even tells you that you should not use boys and girls when you can just say students.

Like a bunch of fucking commies would. Like that's so, that's the fucking milquetoast shit that they're freaking out about. Yeah. And they're talking about like totalitarian cult. They keep using like cultural revolution is the terms and stuff that they're talking about. But like.

They're saying, essentially, the only way to stop the totalitarian culture revolution taking your kid is to monitor and control all aspects of their waking lives and thoughts at all times. And that's the only way you can protect them from totalitarianism. Yes! But yeah, so we see gayness everywhere we go, right? In cereal boxes and on TikTok and at Barnes & Noble, blah, blah, blah. And then we meet Aurora Regino, whose kid was transitioned secretly at school. Now, here's the thing.

What happened is this kid, like the school started using their preferred pronouns and name. That's what she means, which is to assume that her kid was secretly transitioned. Now, later, that kid would be surgically transitioned, but not, you know, secretly. Yeah, and not at school. The science teacher didn't, you know, give her top surgery instead of doing fucking frogs. Exactly, but they will never be clear about that.

Right? No, it's very much just that they would address the kid by a different name without telling their parents, which, to be honest, is awful. We all know that parents need to be consulted before you call a child by a different name. My parents had to sign a form in triplicate before people...

could refer to me as Marsh. You can't give no nicknames. That's illegal. Unless the parents sign off on the first. I had to talk to Marsh's mom about it. It was really weird. It was intense. She keeps talking about how every time the kid came home, they would identify as the gender that the mom preferred. And I'm like, hey, why isn't your kid in the interview with you, though, mom? Yes, right. Where's your kid? Where's your kid to back up your whole they turned to be trans story? Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, and Robbie at this point is like, he says, and again, I feel like I need to constantly remind you that there's not context that I'm leaving out unless there's context that they're also leaving out. But Robbie's question here is like, Well, if kids can consent to having different pronouns, isn't the next step to say they can consent to having sex with adults?

Yeah. Hey, Robbie, why is that your next step, bro? Hey, Robbie. Hey, Robbie. I don't like where your head's at. In my notes. This is how it goes in my notes. Quote from Robbie, if they're able to consent to something as serious as changing their sex without their parents knowing, me saying, I'll stop you there. And I had stopped him there. I then unpoled. And the very next thing is, holy fuck, he should have let me stop him there. You should have let him stop him there.

See, I wrote in my notes, said like a man who looks like he's the villain in Three Ninjas Need an Adult. So yeah, and then he shows this statistic that says that over 25% of students report being something other than straight and cis. Yes. So I looked this up. I actually went away and found this. It said the CDC shows 25% identify as something other than straight. It's like, right. But when you look at it, 12.2% identified as bisexual. 5.2% said they were questioning. 3.9% said other.

3.2% said gay or lesbian. And 1.8% said, I don't understand the question. So you could have phrased that as 97% didn't report being attracted to the same sex. And that would have been just as accurate a way of presenting those figures. Right. The thing is that report surveyed students in grade 9 through 12. So that is ages 14 to 18.

And when the movie shows us that stat, they show it over footage of a seven-year-old with a Lion King backpack. Yes. But this is not about seven-year-olds. This is about kids, about half of whom are legally able to be having sex at the time. Yes. Right. Well, and this is also where they introduce, they start calling the trans inclusivity movement pro mutilation activism. Hell yeah, Robbie. Yeah. Oh, this is also where they compare. Like the percentage of those like current kids, 25% who are...

identify as not straight. And we compare that to just 2.8% of baby boomers who identified as being LGBTQ. It's like, right, but maybe there's a difference between 16-year-olds now and 70-year-olds. From a cultural perspective, there is a difference. Yes, and maybe...

when your dad went hunting with his buddies for six months out of the year, they were fucking, Robbie. They were fucking. But the other thing is, is the implication here seems to be, you know, two generations from now, we're going to be all gay. Yeah.

But yeah, and then they show some lady who said that she could tell her kid was trans by the vegetables that they ate. Yeah, that's probably dumb. There's a lot of people who say dumb shit. I don't even know. Like that might have actually been a really good point that the woman was making and they just cut it out of context. Everything that I did.

up was dishonest. So yeah. And even if we take their dishonest interpretation at face value, it's not one one millionth as crazy as the sentences you just said previous to that quote. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So, OK, so but now it's time to warn us about the dangers of America being all gay and trans. Right. He goes, you know, successful countries like successful people have to have certain traits like strength, resilience.

outside of the box thinking and competence. And I just want to know how long they search for the word creativity before giving up and going with outside the box thinking. Manly countries. Countries that can lift weights with their teeth. I just feel bad that America's lost it. It's just lost its confidence. That's what's going on. Just get a new haircut, honestly. You'll feel so much better about yourself.

Yeah, we just need more resilience. See, but here's the problem with that, Marsh. To have confidence, you need to know your gender for some reason. That's true. So you know what type of hair clip to get. No, it makes sense. Are you going to barbers or hairdressers? You need to know that before you go out and get your hair cut. And then we have to, once again, explain how it's all Alfred Kinsey's fault, right? Because they've spent a lot of time demonizing Kinsey at this point.

And so now we have to get the yarn and the pushpins out and connect him to Hugh Hefner and the modern porn industry. Because you know how Hugh Hefner models the modern porn industry. But even before we get to Hugh Hefner, there is a bit in this where they're talking about a particular, they make it out like it's an experiment where there are two twins and they raise one as a boy, but they put the other one through trans surgery. They mutilate them, they say, mutilate them.

and raise them as a girl, and look what happened to them. And the person who was mutilated, according to this movie, went on to kill themselves. And it's still seen as a success. That's the story they're talking about. They're talking about David Reimer, who was mutilated in a botched circumcision. And so the surgeon went...

fuck it, we'll make him a girl then. That's what they're talking about here. This isn't a, the psychologist forcibly turned this kid trans. It's a, we were doing a different type of unnecessary, like a totally unnecessary genital surgery on him and then fucked up. badly that we decided to take a shot of what gender we could raise him as. That's what they're talking about here. Cynical fucking ghouls. And to be clear, the study that Dr. Money actually did was...

One of the very early ones that proved that forcing people to be a gender other than the one they feel like kills them. And I wrote in my notes, do you hear it, Robbie Starbuck? Do you hear it? Yeah. And they're raising it as evidence on their side. No, it's evidence of what you people are doing here. Yeah. Yeah. And there's even a part where they're like, they're trying to demonize Kinsey more and they're like, well, you know, he wanted to know more about pedophilia. So we interviewed.

Pedophiles. What? Okay. So this is my favorite thing. And we've talked about this when we reviewed other movies, but it's the famous pedophile chart. So here's what actually happened. Kinsey interviewed convicted pedophiles and he asked. them all sorts of questions about their offenses, including how often their victims orgasmed during that attack, which is...

useful information. However, they will present this information like Alfred Kinsey, and I'm not kidding, I'm not exaggerating for comedic effect, sat there jerking off babies with a stopwatch to see how many times they came. That is exactly it. They also give us the line, Kinsey's biographer would later admit Kinsey was a pedophile. And like...

That's not how admit works. You can't admit that's someone else's thing. And if he did write that, it didn't make it onto Kinsey's Wikipedia page. So that is a bit of an odd omission for that page. Right. And I know this is such a small, insignificant thread to pull it, but I have to talk about it. White Rose guy who's doing the like Kinsey connection thing. He's like, and you know, they use bunnies for Playboy Bennies. And what do bunnies do? They.

They hump. And I was like, yeah, man, we all fucking got that. But wait, there's more. It's even better. He's like, and what is the bunny wearing a bow tie? Just like Alfred Kinsey. And literally nobody else ever in all of history. But yeah, and then they transition straight from like...

Alfred Kinsey wanted to normalize child rape, which is the claim that they're making, too. Also, sometimes in queer theory, they spell women with a Y so that it won't have a men in it, and that's dumb. Because they're trying to eliminate men from the world. Right, yeah.

And the thing is, this is while they're talking to Seth Gruber. And he's been talking for so long and they don't edit in them asking a question. So it just seems like he went on this long, entirely over-hinged rant. And they just sat there politely listening for like eight minutes. I wrote in my notes, this entire section is just a bucket of shit that grinds Seth's gears. We go from that, we go back to the church group.

where they're making this claim, some of these kids are making the claim that their friends become trans because, you know, culture affirms people for being trans. And I'm like, yeah, no, that's what trans people always tell me is how affirming culture is. Oh, it's so awesome to be a trans child right now. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is the sports court girl. I write it down as a blonde YouTube girl.

She's talking about how much kids, like how they think they're queer because they value and seek the affection and attention that they've never had. And that's when I wrote 100% she's bisexual by college. It's not even a question. She's listening to this episode in Backlogs right now. She's like, oh my God, that was me. That was me. Oh my God, there's so much fun. I'm taking my wife to a live show this week. That's right.

So, and then they, one of them says that the teachers are always so much nicer to the trans kids. And I'm like, well, except for the one that got fired for being abusive to him earlier that we met. And the magician, the magician's probably not super nice.

that trans kids he brings on stage. And also there's a moment here where they're like, well, you know, this report out of California suggests that trans kids suffer from more mental illness than other kids. So maybe being trans is a mental illness. And I'm like, or maybe you bully them a lot. Yeah, that's you. You do the thing. That's you. You do that. Yeah. But then, okay, so I'm not entirely sure what point they were trying to make with this. They talk about this experiment by Robert Kleck.

where they made people think that they'd put a hideous scar on their face and sent them into a social situation, but they hadn't actually done that. And then they asked people, how did people treat you because of the hideous scar? Yeah, and...

What's so funny about this study is, one, it's a very insightful study, but two, it doesn't describe trans people, but it does describe Robbie Starbuck, right? He's sitting there being like, they're coming for my children, just rubbing at the scar that is not on his face.

So, okay, so while you try to sort out how the fuck anything in this movie relates to anything else, we're going to take a quick break. But first, let me give you an act of the hard sell. Will this couple utter a true statement before the movie is over?

Are they even capable of doing so without their teeth falling out and their faces turning to ash? If so, how can we trick them into saying a true statement? Find out the answer to questions only a bigot would ask when we return for the 12 Subjects a Minute conclusion of... The War on Children. What about blue jeans? Do you think I could sell some of those if I bring a bunch? That's Soviet Russia, man. Damn. Hey, guys. What you doing? Figuring out how to survive, Noah.

Figuring out how to survive. Okay. Why? Eli's worried about being stranded in Manchester again. Yeah, need to make sure my finances in order. I could be trapped there for months. It was three days. Well, look, Eli, I can't guarantee your passport isn't expired, but I can tell you how to get your finances straight. Rocket money.

What's Rocket Money? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. That sounds great. It is. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to.

But does it actually work? It sure does. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when using all the app's premium features. All right, Noah, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? All right, Noah. Thanks. Sorry, I couldn't think of anything British to sell, Marsh. Yeah, it's really not an issue. Teeth? Like loose teeth. Yeah. Honestly, worth a shot in Manchester. Yeah.

So tell us, what happened to your daughter? Well, she took her own life. Oh, that is so tragic. And why was that? Well, she was wrapped up in this whole LGBT thing and... Her father and I did not approve. Wait, what? No, well, we just don't believe in any of that trans stuff. Oh, so you killed your kid about it? Well, I... Our pastor said that. Oh my God, you killed your kid because your pastor told you to? Well, the...

The Bible is. Oh, yeah. The Bible. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. I do not have any beliefs that I hold so dear that I would endanger the life of my child to hold them. Do you hear me? Not a single one. None. Well. I would vote for Trump while making hard eye contact with Barack Obama himself. Why would you care about what you think more than your kid? It's just a thing that you think. Well.

When I was growing up, you see. You know, it's weird because you actually like deserve hell and you're in the hell that you made. Like your kid's dead and you killed your kid. Well, that isn't a very nice thing. I just wish there was a way for your kid to be dead without your kid being dead, you know? I think I'm gonna go. And on fire. I'd love for you to be on fire all the time as well. Okay.

And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to move on to that other great corrupter of the youth. The news apostrophe. So this part is going to start with a long montage of people. There's several montages in this movie are just people arguing with them on Twitter. Yes.

Right. We see an argument, like a bunch of people said this to us on Twitter. Well, here's the facts in quotes. Right. Right. Which does suggest that if you send them abuse on Twitter, you might make it into their next film. Oh, interesting. That could be a fun contest.

And what's funny is they're trying to set up the straw man of people saying there's no such thing as gender reassignment surgery on kids. That's because what they're claiming is that people are doing what is commonly referred to as a sex change on kids, which. does not happen. So now they will now talk to a bunch of people where gender affirming surgery means things like top surgery or puberty blockers, which do absolutely nothing.

Puberty blockers. Eli, those puberty blockers are due to chemically castrate pedophiles. That's right. That is true. Which is terrifying as long as nobody looks up dosages. Yeah, I wrote my notes. And aspirin is a drug that's used to murder people when you eat 11 bottles of it. So...

He even says at one point, he's like, you know, these people are out there just playing doctor. And I'm like, well, they're doctors. I mean, we all agree that they're doctors. Yeah, if anybody's going to, it should be them, really, in many ways. Yeah. Right. This is where we go back to Layla as well, don't we? Because we're talking about her experience of the surgery and things she had. And as she's talking about how she found things difficult...

they give a voiceover saying how damaged and anxious she seemed. It's like those absolute fuckers. You're not even saying it to her face while she's there. It's like we couldn't get over how anxious and damaged this poor child in front of us seemed. You might notice that this child is very obviously being used as a tool by two of the most evil people possible.

want her to hear that out loud you might as well have her fucking try the instant coffee crystal it makes me think because I assume like the stuff she's saying is kind of agreeing with them along the way but it makes me think is she also one of the people who

was given a different name for this documentary when she was invited to it and she's giving her story but they're putting this voiceover over the top because they've twisted it a little bit and edited the way it's been done because we will see that later Yeah. So the thing is, one way or the other, the whole interview is fucking ghoulish, right? Yeah. Because whether they're right or wrong, their point is, oh, this kid is damaged. How can we exploit them?

Yeah. Layla gives them another really close to a no to one of their leading questions. They go, Layla, is there a difference between giving an anorexic liposuction and your gender transition? And we watch Layla be like, no. Yeah, right, right. How are those things the same? Yeah. And she says at this point, she's like, well, you know, like they brushed me into.

Gender transition, I didn't really know what that meant. I hadn't even had a sex ed class. Yes. At that point in my life. Which this movie has already said, it's good that kids don't get sex ed class. We shouldn't be giving kids sex ed class. What side are you on?

And there's also a bit in it where she talks about how the reason that she was kind of... feeling some kind of dysphoria or confusion was because she was finding that her body wasn't like the bodies that she's expected to see women in like media and stuff it's like yeah because the problem is rigid gender stereotypes and body image expectations if only there was some kind of movement

who tried to reduce those regressive tropes. Oh, there is. And you're fucking against it. This whole movie is partly against that. Right. Absolutely. And the whole thing here is that they say that Layla transitioned to a boy and then detransitioned.

And I, you know, again, like everything in this movie is bullshit. I don't know. You know, this is a kid. I don't want to like, I can't assume that they're being honest with me about anything or that like this person's parents weren't like just off to the side demanding that they do this or whatever.

Right. But regardless, like the point then is like, OK, so when you decided that, no, no, you actually wanted to be a woman and felt like that was your proper gender, you were allowed to do that. Think about how fucked up it would be if you weren't.

Yes. Yeah, exactly. It's like whenever there's an abortion in a movie, in a Christian movie, where they show someone being forced to get an abortion. It's like, no, no, no. We are pro-choice about both sides of the trans issue. You could change your gender. You could change your gender back.

make up your own gender. We don't fucking care. You're the one holding gender under your pillow like it helps you sleep at night like a nook-nook, Robbie. And part of the argument against transitioning as well is that Kaiser, her health insurance... covered her transition but isn't covering the aftercare from her detransitioning.

That's not trans people's fault. No. Like medical insurance being shit in America. That's the problem there. It's not. It's a different problem. Yes. Yeah. And don't worry. There are actually way more detransitioners than any of the papers. could make up because the D-Trans Reddit has 50,000 members. Yes, right. They're like, you might think that Layla is an isolated example, but there's a lot. No other ones that we could find for this movie, but there's a lot of them.

Yeah, yeah. There's all these ones on Reddit. And, you know, Reddit, given that Reddit definitely verifies everybody in that one trans and now no longer is before you're allowed to join the Reddit group, this is evidence. Right. So, OK, so now it's time for them to tell us about the Milgram experiment incorrectly.

Yes, they do. They absolutely do. Because they're talking about how, oh, but even when the people who are involved, the participant, heard the patients begging for help and begging to stop, they carried on until they killed them. It's not. No, actually, when you look at the details of it, like when. Not at all.

They heard the patient begging to stop. They just stopped. They mostly stopped. It's the opposite of what happened. Because again, the Milgram experiment is always just right-wingers telling on themselves, right? They're always like, well, look, I would kill and harm. innocent people because I was told by a higher authority that's the basis for literally everything I do and the reason I'm making this movie. So if you think about it, that experiment was me being proven to be the human.

I like how white people think Lord of the Flies is how children would act. Yeah, right, right. So yeah, but so they claim that the doctors are making the kids trans and I'm like, it's weird that the... Kids show up to the doctor saying it then. It's pretty tricky the way they do that. Oh, this is great. I was going to turn you trans and here you are. You're primed. What a coincidence. It's a good thing that we showed you all those gay cartoons back.

Back in the day. Yeah. So, and this is where fucking Rand Paul shows up. Rand Paul, baby. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know, if you think about it, conservatives never really complained about drag shows before. And I'm like, yes, the fuck they did. What a fuck.

You guys would get outside and you would protest and you would have signs and stuff about the devil. You guys have been doing that my entire fucking life. The first time I ever went to a drag show, there was a fucking church group outside fucking protesting.

He opens by being like, now everyone always says, well, your whole thing is being a libertarian. Why do you care what other people do? But libertarianism is an insane lie that doesn't hold up to really any kind of introspection whatsoever. I'm just a...

slightly, it's a longer word for the bigot that I am. You understand? My neighbor tackled me and broke my rib. So I was struggling to fact check the type of things he was saying because I couldn't take my eyes off the fact that he was tapping his feet in this. weird sequence that I could only assume he was trying to do Morse code as a code to anybody watching. Right, right. I thought to activate a shooter like a Mancurian candidate who happened to be watching. One of the two.

Or maybe it was just that he was so uncomfortable having his feet so close to the people interviewing him. So yeah, but he explains that in Oregon, kids are having their genitals changed at 13 years old without parental consent. And I don't think that's happening. But also, he says that, you know, when you go to these gender affirming clinics, there's nobody there to give you the transphobic point of view even. Yeah. And you know what? That's.

good point because like when you go in for breast augmentation surgery they don't bring in a nurse to be like yuck so get on that He also says he doesn't think that any trans kids are being bullied as he appears in a film that is bullying trans kids. That's what this is doing. Yes. He says, they say trans kids are committing suicide because they're not accepted. I think it's the opposite. And I wrote...

It's a homicidal way of thinking. Yes. Right. Yeah. But but after he explains that it's leading to war, they do their whole like, you know, what can you do? Well, once again, it's yell at people and be an asshole in public. Right. And then we shift gears to talk about Riley Gaines. Riley Gaines! God, I fucking love. Riley Gaines. So little background. They're going to try and do Riley Gaines's background here. And it's so fucking funny. So Riley Gaines was a college swimmer.

who tied with Leah Thomas. You know about Leah Thomas because your uncle, who has never cared about women's sports in his entire life, deeply cares about the swim scores of Leah Thomas, right? She tied with Leah Thomas, and Leah Thomas got... to hold the trophy for a picture. And so Riley Gaines has dedicated the rest of her life to stopping trans rights as a result. And that's like, you know how the fucking, have you ever heard the superego?

podcast where they say that where fucking Lex Luthor is like I hate Superman because he ripped out all my hair that's Riley Gaines's real origin story so it is but there's even there's a wrinkle to that story that you've missed out that makes it even more insane because, yes, she tied with Leah Thomas.

for fifth place fifth place tied for fifth and that when it came to holding the trophy like they were like Leah Thomas was given the fifth place trophy which isn't a fucking thing you don't get a fifth place trophy typically but she got the fifth place trophy while right

Riley Gaines was given an exactly equal size sixth place trophy while they were trying to find another fifth place trophy to send her in the mail. So in the picture, the trophies they're holding are identical sized for the joint fifth. place in this fucking 200 yard freestyle championships at the University of Kentucky. Right. Well, and also her entire argument is Leah Thomas, because, you know, she transitioned from Mayo.

is impossible to beat as a female swimmer. Yeah. But she was in fifth, right? They show us the video of the two of them. Get there. And like one lady's already made herself something to eat. You know, like four of them are done are just in as a race of like 12 people. Yeah. So like a third of them beat Leah Thomas. Also, there's an insane lie in it as well as they're explaining it because Riley Gaines says, and there's like Leah Thomas who's six foot four and like really broad.

Leah Thomas, I looked it up, is 6'1", not 6'4". Riley Gaines has to say, oh, Leah Thomas, who's 6'4", because 6'1 is very tall for a woman. but the height of a very tall woman. Whereas 6'4 is so much taller than that, and therefore much taller than Leah Thomas. It's like, I'm 6'1, Heath is 6'4. That is the difference that they're talking about here. Yes. Right. Also...

I want to point out because like Riley Gaines has changed her story, right? She used to sort of be like, I'm the reasonable one and I support trans. And now she's like, trans women can't be in female chess tournaments. Like she's a fucking nut bag to the highest possible degree.

Right, because it's her whole job. It's like how she makes her living. Yeah, exactly. And and I want to say that I think there are probably people out there who are trans allies who have never bothered to Google any of the things they think who find Riley's.

arguments convincing, right? Because they think this biological essentialism thing is true, or they, again, they just haven't Googled, they've never Googled any of these. So it's important to say just at the outset, if you've ever, if you have a friend or a family member who's buying this. Trans people have been competing in the NCAA for 14 years. They hold.

Zero records. Yes. Zero all-time records not in swimming. In fact, only two of them have won championships ever in the entire history of the NCAA. 20 years of the Olympics, a trans woman has not even meddled. in the Olympics, let alone there's been one trans woman who's competed. She did none of her lifts. This invisible thing where they're dominating the sport, right? It just hasn't happened. And we're 20 years into the experiment.

that Riley is promising not only isn't going to happen, it hasn't happened. Right. And she's been saying it's going to happen for so fucking long that even if we didn't have that long history, you'd have to be starting to scratch your head about it. Yeah.

And the thing is, she fucks up her own argument even in this interview because she says about how her partner is like an average swimmer. Her partner is a guy who's an average swimmer and she's like, he's not that good. I'm really good as a swimmer for a woman. He's not that good a swimmer, but he would kick my butt all the time. because a guy will always beat a woman it's like right

But you tied with Leah Thomas and got beat by four women. So what you're saying is that there is a difference then between men and trans women. Yes, clearly. And then we cut to her. She's at some fucking... I don't know, maybe it's some congressional thing where Foghorn Leghorn's grandpa is talking to her and then some actual expert in women's sports. And the woman that he's berating...

who is African-American, of course, is explaining that not every man is better at every sport than every woman. He's trying to make the argument that women are obviously biologically inferior at sports. than men. And the woman is trying not to be...

You know, because I like if she said, OK, let's let's you and I do the hundred meter dash right now. Right. Like if she said that she'd make her fucking point. Right. But she's trying not to do that. So she's like, well, you've seen that tweet about how like what percentage of men think that they can. score a point against Serena fucking Williams in tennis. You know, that's the point she makes, which is there into the fact that I guess Serena Williams lost to the 203rd ranked man in tennis.

Yeah, a mere 25 years ago when she was 16. A 16-year-old Serena Williams played a guy in his prime. Yeah, right. And again... All of this would have been borne out if trans women were dominating women's sports. Yes! Which they aren't doing and haven't done for 20 years! Clinton was the president when they began to attempt to dominate women's sports. And they have yet to find their victory. Timeline's off there, but yeah. So, but...

They even ask at this point, they're like, well, why aren't there any trans men in sports? And I'm like, well, there are. There are. There are trans men in sports. And it's also proof that you don't care about any of the locker room stuff you're complaining about. Yes. Sure.

Because they say, well, there was a trans male swimmer, but they didn't place. And it's like, yeah, but you literally just compared sharing a locker room with Leah Thomas to mental rape. So none of that means anything. You're a liar. Yes, yeah, 100%. And when they're talking about like, why aren't there any trans men in sport? It's very clear that, well, part of it is...

Because you don't let them. Like, there are now rules coming in that mean like you can't. So trans men have to still compete in the women's categories because they were born women, like assigned for a female at birth. So like, yeah, that's part of the reason as well. So you're trying to stop them being in men's sport.

Right. Yeah, exactly. And then, of course, the other one that they like to harp on, there was an instance where a volleyball player was hurt when a trans woman spiked the ball at her. And I'm like, oh, it's a good thing there weren't any volleyball injuries before that or this would be a very weak point. No one else has ever been hurt in a volleyball game except this one person who took a volleyball to the fucking face. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

And I believe, I remember looking into it, it wasn't even like the hardest hitter in the league. And like everybody in the league recognized that that trans person wasn't the person who could hit it the hardest in the entire league by some margin. What Riley is implying with that anecdote is that it was the transness of the woman hitting the volleyball that made it especially dead. It caused the injury. Penis all over it, that volleyball.

And also, Marcia's already mentioned the term mental rape. That is not just like a single throwaway line. They say that like... 47 times. They're like, well, how is this different than mental rape? And then the person they're interviewing will say, yeah, no, it's exactly like mental rape. No, it's absolutely mental rape. 100% mental rape. Yeah, Landon specifically says the mental rape of Riley Gaines and other girls like her. And I wrote, hey, lady, if you want to stand up for...

women's rights and their safety, maybe don't cheapen the definition of rape, yeah? Yeah, there you go. Yeah, at one point, because she's talking about how trans women are in our locker rooms waving their penises around or whatever. And Landon says, well, do women even have a place where they can get naked without penises anymore? And the answer is so obviously yes, that even Riley Gaines can't say no to it. So she's like, well...

If it was up to the Biden administration, they wouldn't. I'm like, it is up to the Biden administration. But if they want, they would put all the wall penises. They probably have some. And then she tries to do this fucking funny thing. She's like, and if you don't let them rape, mind rape you, then you're guilty of sexual harassment by being a bigot.

So if you don't know what either of those terms mean that I just said, I'm right. Yes, right. Yeah. But it's not just the colleges that are mentally raping female athletes, y'all. Now women have to worry about being raped. in a bathroom. It's a good thing that women never had to worry about being raped before or this would be a very weak point for them to be making.

Yeah, and it's a good thing that what we find is that trans women are doing the vast majority of the raping that happens. Yes, right. Otherwise, this point would be insanely Google-able. Yeah, and then we meet Harrison. who doesn't have custody of his kid, according to Harrison, doesn't have custody of his kid because he refuses to accept that they are non-binary. Yeah. I'm guessing that there are actually other reasons as well, but A, even if there's not... Yeah, it's good enough.

Yeah, exactly. And we've seen Harrison actually across our shows. He's sort of a reoccurring villain. Harrison pops up whenever he lost custody of his kid because not only did he refuse to acknowledge his kid's identity, but he was obviously wildly abusive about it.

and insisted that his kid dress according to their birth gender and use their dead name whenever they were home, which he admits to openly hear like it's a point for his side. Yes, right. He's like, you know, whenever I would have my... kids in my custody, they would do exactly the gender thing all the fucking time. God damn it. So obviously this is a bunch of bullshit his mom's feeding him.

Yeah, and they give him a lob here, right? Because here's what's supposed to happen. They're supposed to go, and you would let him play with a doll, right? And he'd be like, of course, that doesn't mean he's trans. But instead they say, and you'd let him play with a doll, right? And he goes, I would attribute that no. meaning. And you're like, oh, you're a fucking psychopath. Well, he tries to convince us that the kid's mom just made the kids trans to piss Harrison off.

Oh, and because she's mentally ill as well. That's the thing. Oh, right, that too, yeah. The kid was only starting to be trans in the mother's eyes when her bipolar disorder came on. Yeah, he says, like, the media's reporting their mums got BPD. A study shows 53% of mums who have kids who are transitioning also have BPD. Does that set off any red flags? Yeah, I mean, the red flag is that the media is speculating about a lady's medical history.

This is the red flag. Quite a red flag indeed. Yeah. I looked up that study that they're talking about, by the way, the 53% of mums who have trans kids have got bipolar disorder. That study is from 1991. a mere 33 years ago that they had to go back to cherry pick this. And that 53% is 53% of just 16 mums. That's what we're talking about. 53% of 16 mums. Wait.

Yeah, I'm not saying it's a bad study, but 53% of 16 people is eight and a half people. So I'm not saying it's a bad study. Well, it's bipolar though. So one of them only had unipolar. Only one half of her at that point. So, okay. So then we finale with, we go back to our apostrophes with politics apostrophe.

And that'll start with an interview with William Lamberth, who is like, hey, how you like that, Rand Paul? You're on the same level as William Lamberth. But he's a Tennessee congressman who sponsored the anti-drag queen build. Yeah. And so they opened this interview with like, hey, you know, at one point while you were trying to get your bill that literally made drag performances illegal in the state of Tennessee passed, somebody sent you an envelope with scary white powder in the mail.

So that's pretty evil to try to disrupt the legislative process side that did January 6th. Yeah, and he's easier to explain that they ain't no chickens down in Nashville, Tennessee. I wrote, my man, your platform is being scared of drag queens and gay kids. Your campaign signs might as well say, my head.

Kevin's a mouse. But also, like, when it comes to the white powder he got sent, he explains why it wasn't a good idea to send him white powder, but purely through the logistics of the postage. Because he said, like, yeah, but if you send it to me, like, someone else is going to...

opener who isn't me and you don't know what their views are so like it's a bad way to try and attack me is what i'm saying if you are going to try and kill me sending white powder in the pulse is a bad way because it's very inaccurate in its targeting that's kind of the advice is given and like starbuck joins in

And it's almost like the point is, well, remember, if you tried to kill one of us, don't because you might accidentally hurt someone nice along the way. And that's the reason not to kill us. And to be honest, that might be the only reason not to.

Look, I understand why you want to murder me, but I have lots of public appearances where you could shoot me in the fucking face. Just don't bother my secretary. Right. Well, that's two things. One, it's weird that they're giving advice on how to better kill them. But the second one is.

that he just got done talking about how brave he is. He's like, yeah, you know, they try to send me poison. I ain't scared. It's not going to knock me off of my goal to make Tennessee right with the Lord. Also, I have a pregnant lady that opens all my mail for me in case there's something dangerous. so I don't it wouldn't you even get me right also I make a taste all of my soup as well as if you are thinking of like poisoning poisoning my soup I'll wear her as a bulletproof vest

Davy Crockett. He goes, you know, Tennessee here, we're the volunteer state. And fucking Robbie goes, why? That goes back to Davy Crockett. Yeah, man, it goes back to Davy Crockett. But yeah, then they both complained together about how the left is trying to make this a civil liberties issue just because they're trying to take away people's civil liberties. Overreactors, all of them. Yeah.

But also, I'm sorry, but there's something about this Tennessee congressman who's he's going like, you know, I'm all for civil rights. I just don't think that trans people count. And I'm just like, you're not all for civil rights, man. Bullshit. You're not pulling that off at all. Should we visit? how your state did on civil rights. Do you want to check in on that, Guy Fieri? Yeah.

But they're like, you know, it's dangerous to misuse this civil rights language. It cheapens it. Also, California's protection for trans youth from out of state is literally child trafficking. Next fucking sentence. Oh, it's just right.

there man but then so this is where they introduced there's gonna be a long line of like people that wouldn't be on their movie this is the section of the movie called people that told us to fuck ourselves So they're like, you know, we were going to interview this trans lawmaker and then she learned who we were and saw through our ruse and told us no. So then we called her on the phone from a one party state and we got her to say it on the fucking phone and put that in our movie.

Yeah, and I would have loved to see that phone call unedited. Because the thing is, as a documentarian, as an undercover journalist, something like that, calling someone like that is not an invalid thing to do. It's like phone someone up and essentially do an audio version of a door stopping.

But the way to do that ethically is you then play the entire fucking conversation. You don't just like drop into the bit of the conversation that you like. And that's very clearly what they've done in every one of the interviews they have with people who told them to get fucked.

Every single time. Yeah. And it still doesn't make him look good. Right. It's this gotcha thing. He's like, why are you afraid to talk? She's like, I'm not afraid to talk, man. You're a fucking bigot and a liar. And he's like, gotcha. And she's literally like.

well, yeah, but I've seen what you've done with your life and the other things and you're just a closed door and there's just nothing to be gained from talking to you. And he's like, and he left that in this fucking movie. He left that in the movie. movie. Which means the rest of the call was so much rougher for him. And Robbie, look, I know you're still listening and I hope you do it, but I have it on good authority that you are welcome.

on the Be Reasonable podcast to have your say and make your very good points to Michael Marshall. There you go. That's your chance to be heard, my friend. Anytime. You can also appear on my new podcast, Why Is Your Hair Always Wet?, where we answer pressing questions like, do you wet it before you start filming? Or do you only film after you've gotten out of a bath? Yeah.

So, yeah, but then they start going down the list of like, it's like everybody on, again, they're worse, the pro-child mutilation side, avoids conversations with, you know, objective people like me. And as he's saying that, as he's giving the, you know, I'd be fair with them if they just talked to me. We are, I cannot fucking exaggerate this film. We are interspersing that with shots of hyenas with zebra legs.

Yes. Footage of hyenas. Yes. Now, I do have to clarify what this is a reference to because this is so good. So when Robbie started to make this movie, he called a bunch of trans activists and told them he was started. What Marsh hinted. at at the beginning. He told them he was making a pro-trans film about what trans go through. Someone looked him up and found him out. And then an article came out in Rolling Stone.

revealing that he had been doing this to a bunch of trans activists before they actually could do their interviews. So this montage where people are telling him to fuck himself, it's people who have read the Rolling Stone article and are telling him to fuck himself.

And it's great because he is lecturing us. He's lecturing for people for never considering the experience of people they disagree with while exclusively in this film showing us the stories of detransitioners and fifth place tied swimmers. The ones he gets in. And also, can we give a shout out to Dr. Marcy Bauer's self-control when she says, I hope you find exactly what you're looking for. Good for you, Marcy.

And doesn't he end this by saying like, isn't it a sign of grooming when you can't ask a question? What? No, I don't think it is. Yeah. No, that's like, at one point, they're like, can we ask you a question? And the woman's like, No, I just told you I didn't want to do the interview. And he's like, isn't it a sign of grooming when I can't ask a question? Aren't you kicking me in the testicles right now? I hope you find what you're looking for. But yeah.

And now the war is coming for newborn babies, goddammit, because the CDC is letting trans women have babies suck on their nipples, even though that's a known kink. For some trans people. Yeah, it's a known sexual kink of at least some men. Okay, so you've gone, like, you've split that so fucking finely to find plenty of men. It's not just me. Can't come. Yeah. Unless Landon sucks on their nipples, but her jaw is so sharp it's very dangerous.

And then they complained about Rachel Levine. I don't remember her exact title, but she was a part of the Biden administration and she was trans. Scientific officer or something, chief science officer, something like that. Yeah, it was not like, it was like not a position of great import or whatever, but it was, you know, it was.

You know, it was something. It was a trans person existing. Yeah, exactly. Also, I loved that they couldn't find the dead name of Rachel Levine, so they kept being like, a man named... Rachel Levine. Yeah, right. I wish I could do this stupid dead naming thing that we did from Leah Thomas. Yeah, right, right. But damn it, Rachel Levine. claimed that gender-affirming care prevented suicide based on nothing except overwhelming evidence. Fuck. And then we meet...

Fucking Abigail. Now, if we're giving out a ghoul award in this movie, I believe it goes to Abigail. Yeah. Right. I think it goes to Landon for a line she says to Abigail in this conversation. Yeah, sure. So Abigail's Chiron lists her as, quote, victim of trans ideology. Now, I'll give you the short version. This is the person that we were lampooning in the third interstitial, right? We were lampooning the whole movie, but specifically this woman who, it comes out during this interview, her...

trans son committed suicide. And I can't say because, but commensurate with her refusing to accept his identity. Yeah, and we draw that from the fact that all she talks about in this interview is that while her child was terribly depressed, she was trying to get them to act like the gender they were born as. Yes. Right. So the story starts with her kid attempting suicide. And after that, when he goes to see some psychologist or whatever, they diagnose gender dysphoria and he transitions, right?

And took the kid away. Right. Well, and that's the thing is that later on in the story, CPS comes and takes the kid away from her. So clearly she's just abusive about his transition, right? Yes. Obviously, you think CBS takes you away because you disagree with your kid on fucking politics? No, she's obviously abusing her trans child. Yes. Her trans child went to a group home rather than be with her. Yes.

Her trans child who attempted suicide two more times after the transition before a third successful attempt. And the whole time... This stupid fucking movie is treating her as the victim. Yeah, she is the victim of trans ideology because her child died. She is the victim because her child has died. That is the victim status here. That's being conferred. Right.

From her fucking abuse, it is just the most disgusting goddamn thing. The whole time I'm watching this movie, I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. You don't hear it now? Yeah. You're standing here with this grieving mother. Well, she's not even, the mother's not even.

grieving, right? No. The mother doesn't even acknowledge the existence of her son for fuck's sake. And when you say you don't hear it, they don't hear it because they wrap that conversation up, that interview up with Landon saying... I think from heaven, she can see how hard you fought for her.

abject fucking monster. Jesus. Do you know how bad a person you have to be for Michael Marshall to say you abject fucking monster? This is a man who is recorded on the internet with being like, I see your point, Leo the Lion. But let me give you a example. Fuck Leo the Lion, fucking Jim Humble talking about how many AIDS patients he's killed. Yeah, exactly. You've got to push it. I wish there was a hell so that everyone in this movie could go there.

I think it's one of the most exploitative things you guys have ever made me watch. It was really rough. And the thing is... I had a busy week. It's QED. I had a lot going on. I'm like, I'll say yes, I'll do Cam. It's always a bit fun. Last time we did a silly film from the 80s or something. What have they got for me this week? Oh, I see. Yes, two hours and 25 minutes.

fucking minutes of this ghoulish bullshit yeah and and at the end of this interview just as you're thinking like wow i wonder if like touching that woman makes you turn to like black stone or whatever they're like can we all have a big group hug so that everybody knows that we completely endorse the way you drove your trans son to suicide.

Yeah. I'm just like roof collapse. Come on. Right. God. Very, very, very clearly for the microphone. Robbie says, I'm so sorry what they did to you. Yes. Jesus. Jesus. Christ. And then we learn that the woke ideology goes all the way up to the Pentagon.

To the top, damn it. To the top. Yeah. And again, it's so hard to continue to make their argument as they continue to be so fucking wrong. Because at this point, they have to admit that the Department of Defense has determined that it actually is... in their best interest to pay for the transitioning of like the kids of service members, just because it's better for the service members not to have to worry about that themselves.

Yes. And that their kids won't fucking kill themselves when they do it. Exactly. Exactly. So the point being that like that notoriously liberal institution, the U.S. military has even determined that they're wrong on this. Yeah. Yeah. This is also where they accused Joe Biden of claiming he owns their children. Yes.

So again, like all of the this was a sad part, right? It's hard to get through this part of the movie because these people suck and they should be in jail forever. A jail that is on fire. But then they say when Joe Biden has been saying our children, he means he. Yeah, he's not just saying something that literally every other president has also said. He's claiming ownership. It's sinister.

when he did it. And is this the bit where Rand Paul talks about how those kids need to use their dicks before they get rid of them? Like, you don't know what that thing can do. Take it for a test. Yes, exactly. Kick the tires. Oh, my God. Yeah, he refers to it as a crime against humanity. So you've got to try the penis out before you decide what to do with it.

Yeah, it's so funny. We watch Rand Paul get trapped in his own sentence. He's like, look, these kids are too young to consent. And also, the adults also can't consent. I'm the only one who knows whose genitals you should have. Yes! Right! Right. And then they show us another study that says that trans people are a bunch of mentally ill weirdos. This is the Lisa Littman study. And they show us the paper. They flash it up on the screen and it has the word.

correction written across it on big letters. Because of how correct the paper is, Mark. Yeah, and when you get to that, you can click the link on correction and it takes you to the correction and the correction to that study is more than 3,000 words long. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. And obviously it's a very famous study. The biggest issue with the study is that it's a study of what...

Parents report it's not about talking to trans kids. So it's basically we asked a bunch of transphobic parents what they reckon was going on with their kid. And we heard some awful stuff from them. Yeah. Yeah. And again, it's not even if it was completely accurate, it's not their damage.

It's like they became very disrespectful about dad's golf game. Like you fucking dare. Right. Well, and then they showed that they have to admit that this other study like completely disproves everything that they're trying to say. And then they start trying to poke holes in that study. And I'm like, oh, how dare.

are you motherfuckers start trying to poke holes in somebody else's study at this point? Fuck you. And their source for the holes in that study is from a Twitter account called exposing Biden. That's their source is exposing Biden. So entirely neutral. It's tweet four of seven from exposing at exposing Biden. Yeah. They keep pointing out that puberty blockers haven't been approved for transitioning. And I'm like, great, but they.

But they've been approved, right? So the approval process is to show that something is healthy. Once you prove that fucking aspirin can take care of headaches, you don't also have to get it approved for joint... pain. What about when you hit your thumb with a hammer twice? Right, yeah, exactly. But what about your pinky, though? Yeah, different finger, yeah.

But no, but of course, this is where they have to try to make the argument because the whole anti-trans thing, the whole like everybody's trying to turn your kids trans, that argument falls apart on the quibono. question, right? So this is where they have to argue that drug companies are transitioning kids for the profits, right? And the media don't ask the question because the media...

in the pocket of Big Pharma. Big Pharma is some of the biggest advertisers in the media and that's why the media are fine with Big Pharma deliberately transing your kids for profits. Yes! What? So then they bring up this Swedish study that they accuse. They say, like, well, many people say that this study that would disprove us.

What they're doing is called convenience sampling. For example, us, we say that. We don't cite any other sources. And we've been relying on Twitter threads, so you've got to imagine there's nothing out there for this. Yes. But then they come up with a study that's on their side. They say a Swedish study concluded that transgender people have an increased risk of suicide after transition. And that's the way they're presenting that. After transition, you have an increased risk of suicide.

I looked this study up. We actually covered this on a recent Nororgan episode. And it's true. After transition, trans people have an increased risk of suicide. But what she's not saying is, increased compared to what? And the answer is...

Cis people of the same age in the general population who haven't gone through any kind of dysphoria, who haven't had any kind of issues. So basically what they're saying is, if you're trans and living in a society like one where this movie can come out, you're at a... greater risk of depression, regardless of whether you've had surgery. But that's actually the risk after surgery is lower than before surgery.

That's what they found out. Well, yeah, I wrote in my notes, like a Swedish study says that trans kids are suicidal. I wonder if it's because there's a whole industry turning out bigotry documentaries about them.

Maybe it isn't. Here's a quote from that study, right? It said, this suggests that, this is in the study, this suggests that even though sex reassignment alleviates gender dysphoria, there's a need to identify and treat co-occurring psychiatric morbidity in transsexual persons, not only before, but also...

after sex reassignment. This is a study saying more support for trans people. Yes. Like the surgery isn't enough. It needs further support to make people able to function in a society that is transphobic. Wow. Yeah. Well, and then they have this part where the doctor comes out and describes how like bottom surgery is done. I'm like, well, all surgeries sound scary when you describe how they're fucking done. That's stupid. And then they tear your appendix from the organs. God.

And we take a piece of a pig and we insert it into your heart. Yes, right. And then so, OK, so then they ambush a TikTok influencer who's raising a trans kid or a gender fluid kid. They say at one point she has over 30 million likes. And I'm like, that's not how we generally measure an influence. That's not how we measure them. Also, they fail in this ambush so badly because what they were hoping for was like, hey, you expose your trans. You make a ton of money off them. And she's like...

oh, no, I actually don't put my kids on the TikTok anymore because it's really dangerous and there aren't things like Coogan accounts and there aren't a lot of things that protect the kids online and they're like, oh, okay, so we're just going to use you as a...

Internet is scary case then. Right. All they get out of her is about safeguarding kids in a creative economy. That's all. And that's really rough for them to feed to this critique. Do you want to see how lovely our kids are, Phil? Because their kids are all... the way through this fucking film. Right, right. So yeah, they fail spectacularly with her. And then they start talking about a drag queen that they wanted to interview, but...

but she wouldn't talk to him. So they had to interview a different drag queen. And I love it because they don't have to tell us that they failed at their first fucking interview, but they do. Yes. And the interview with this drag queen has been cut up more often than Landon Starbuck's face. This is not an interview. This is a montage. Right. No, this is Veronica Electronica. Great drag name, by the way. Amazing name. Fantastic.

But Veronica starts the interview off by going like, sorry, what are your last names? And then they say it. And she's like, yeah, no, I don't want to do this interview anymore. Right. But then they sort of they sort of browbeat her into remaining in the seat long enough. There's even a point where she's like, hey, can you turn the cameras off? And then we cut. Yeah. There's a fucking cut to later where.

You have to wonder, does she even know that the cameras are still running? Well, I looked this up. She did. This is obviously someone who was told it was a different documentary. It was about the struggles faced by children in the trans community and what's happening with all the kind of bans and restrictions and stuff.

because of like she got wind of what was going on here, she started recording this interview herself. And there are parts of what gets broadcast where they cut one of Landon's responses to something she says, but cut it to a different part, to a different question or a different response. So they actually...

don't just edit this to like for concision. They move stuff around to make their point in the timeline. Wow. And now to be clear, the best version of this conversation for them is one where they pull out a zoomed in. printed out photo of a drag queen doing a split and ask her to condemn sexually explicit material in front of children. Yeah. To be clear, she is doing...

a normal dance split. You can see cheer, as Veronica points out, you can see cheerleaders doing this at the side of a football game, right? There's nothing sexually explicit about this at all, except that you, the photographer, have... Zoomed in on her underwear while she's dancing. Yes, exactly. So that was such a great issue. She's like, they're trying to browbeat.

the drag queen into saying that drag performance in front of kids is indecent, right? And of course, she's refusing to do so. And so they're like, what, this image right here, you're telling me this image in front of a kid isn't indecent? And the drag queen says, like,

You could see that exact goddamn image at a football game from a cheerleader. And they're like, right, but we're not grossed out by cheerleaders. Yes. Right. So that doesn't count. Yeah, we're afraid of you. But also, like, even if they accepted. that that image goes a bit too far. That's a bit too far in front of kids.

All you can really say is that person in that moment went a bit too far and shouldn't have gone quite as far. That says nothing about drag as an overall thing. That's just in that one instance. That's the best that they can get out of this is I don't personally like that picture. Cool. If you have so few examples of drag performers being inappropriate in front of children that you have to zoom in and print out a photo to force people condemning it, you don't have an argument, Rob.

Right. Exactly. So Veronica eventually calls him out for just being shitty people. She says, I think everything that you're doing is misleading. And they're like, no, it isn't. I'm like, you lied about what documentary you were filming. Also, I just have to point this out because it's a weird thing as someone who's made TV. Robbie cracks a little here.

And I'm like, look, I've made prank shows. People crack and we all sort of have to reset and pretend that we're on reality TV again. But like, don't do that.

when you're an evil bigot. He's literally like, sorry, I just realized I'm holding an underwear picture. He's like, no, man, if you want to do this, sign up to fucking work crew on Impractical Jokers. You don't have to be the worst possible kind of... person right right so okay so now it's time to talk about grooming which used to matter to him before trump had control of the epstein files it was a really important thing

And so we'd see this clip from a sex predator who was asked, I guess, at one time, how he selected his victims. And he's sort of explaining what he would look for in terms of broken families and not having a parent that would protect them and things like that, right?

Yes. And I wrote in my notes, hey, does grooming involve portraying yourself as something that you're not and then making out that you're not a threat and that you're actually on their side and then isolating them until they're helpless? Oh, no. Yeah. And the right love this because one of the things that the guy says in the interview is if I perceived the father to be a threat.

I wouldn't like molest the kids, which they have meant there's tactical gear you can buy that'll prevent people from molesting your kids. Yeah, exactly. They complained at this point that social media sexualizes kids, which is true, right? It does, as does all other forms of media. And then we talked to this lady who was sex trafficked as a child, and she's now...

like an expert that helps people who are formerly trafficked. And this interview is like them very clearly trying to coax her into saying that it's all trans people's fault. And her just sort of... never agreeing with them, but never like disagreeing with them, trying to still get her points out. So I can't really tell if she's awful or not.

by the end of it oh I think I suspect she isn't I think I get the sense that she doesn't know she's in an anti-trans documentary because she's not talking about trans people and they're not even asking her about trans people they're asking about grooming and sexual abuse and things and that's what she's talking about

they've just dropped that into the movie as if it was connected in any way. Right. Yeah. He uses this metaphor. He's like, would you drop your kids off at a park that had a couple of pedophiles at it? No, of course not. And I read, oh, so you're not going back to church, Bobby? Is that what I'm thinking?

Yeah, but he points out here that the real culprit in sex trafficking is all the single moms for not being badass enough. This is also where they let Landon go full crazy. She tells us that the food and water... is part of the problem as well. Yeah, we're literally looking at chemicals in the water that are turning the freaking frogs gay. We literally do the frogs gay. That is the joke about Alex Jones. Yes, yes. They literally make the...

in our kids' foods is turning the frogs gay and making them less masculine argument. Well, non-organic foods and tap water. Well, yes, yeah. They make sure to clarify. And then they asked the student UN group whether they think there's an attack towards masculinity. And...

And Overcoat Girl, who's going to be at our live show soon, she says that all her friends like Sam Smith and Sam Smith isn't very masculine. And the first thing that came up is the photo of his outfit in the Brit Awards. And I was like, well, you got me. Yeah, but no, all of these kids are complaining. They have a generation of weak men.

And then so now we're going to demonize porn with it. Right. Because like Robbie goes, you know, it's weird. It used to be that if a guy peeked at a woman naked, we would all agree that he was a pervert and he's a weirdo. But now we can peek at a woman naked on OnlyFans and it's not weird at all. Isn't that strange? And I'm like, yeah, man, the difference between non-consensual and consensual stuff is strange to you?

Oh, my God. The funniest thing. Amazon wouldn't let me screenshot it because they were like, no, no, no, Eli. We know what you're going to try and screenshot. But Landon is staring with so much. fucking hatred at the side of Robbie's head when he's talking about pornography. This woman has walked into Robbie's room while he's ganking it so many times. And it's been so long since he made her orgasm that if he ever...

they would have to show it on the History Channel. So the entire time he's talking about porn, she's just like, oh, yeah, porn's really bad, isn't it, Robbie? Like, really bad, huh? I think we get some insight here as well, because he says, like, well...

men don't want to marry very sexual women. And this sounds like he's like, he's Loki just telling us that Landon's bad in bed. I wanted to carry on like, yeah, men don't want to marry very sexual. We're like, take Landon here. She is dry as a bone 24 seconds. to overly inflated pool noodles. You know, wife material. Look at my wife. She looks like she's going to induct you into an MLM that sells orphan blood, right? That's what you want to marry.

Oh, God. But eventually they browbeat this woman into agreeing that what sex trafficking survivors really need is for everybody to conform to their gender roles, right? Yes. They beat around the bush about that eventually to get there. Sorry, I have to scroll down here and I have to get past your picture of dude in his fucking suit. Sam Smith, I can understand, yeah. So now it's time to explain how porn is another weapon in the war on children.

And this is where they do another ambush phone interview with a lady who does sex ed videos for Pornhub. Yeah, and the thing is, between the last scene and this scene, it's a really abrupt shift. And I wrote in my notes, this movie has fulfilled its greatest wish in that it's completely eradicated transitions.

And you ever see those videos online where like a bunch of punks, like in an action movie, think they can take on the star and then he beats the shit out of all of them. That's what this conversation is. And it's what happens to Robbie Starbuck because they've called the head of.

X Ed on Pornhub. And this woman is eating a fucking salad. She tosses Robbie Starbuck around the room. He's like, so don't you think you're doing that to lure kids to Pornhub? And she's like, no, that's not why we're doing it. An idiot would think that.

I'm going to cut you saying that last part. At one point, they're like, don't you think that women wearing like, you know, schoolgirl outfits and other things that represent young women drives pedophilic behavior? And she's like, no, it doesn't. It's very, very obvious that that doesn't. do that. No.

They try to do a gotcha on my fave Asa Akira here. Yeah. Which is amazing because as someone who actually watches her podcast, this was a relatively serious conversation they had about how the rape of underaged boys goes unreported. Yeah. the example she is making in that conversation is like,

Look, I'm a porn star. If I said I was going to fuck your teenage son, you would all say it was great, right? You wouldn't tell anybody, would you? And the other guy's like, nah, I wouldn't tell anybody. She's making a point about the opposite of what Robbie's saying. And it's so clearly, it's so obviously.

It's so obviously that. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. And they ask the woman, the Pornhub woman, they're like, well, you know, what do you think about people having sex with teenagers? And she's like, well, you know, as long as everybody's of legal consenting age. Right? Because 19 is a teenager. Yes. Yeah. Like, yeah, so two 15-year-olds fucking, I got no issue with that, right? Like, so, yes, that's the exact correct answer. But because she can't condemn...

Anyone having any sex until after the age of 20, this prudish fucking movie is like... Gotcha. It's the best. Also, they have this great moment where they're like, so what do you think of the work of Alfred Kinsey? And they put up the little chart of the baby orgasms. And again, you have to understand that in the sex education world, what do you think of Alfred Kinsey would be like if I...

And I was like, so how do you like the work of Copernicus? So she's like, I mean, he did some early studies and he's like, just like you. Yes, right. Yeah. But then they demonize Pornhub because they claim, of course, that Pornhub doesn't want to keep kids off their site just because Pornhub doesn't want to have the... personal information of every single person who uses their goddamn thing in a database that they then have to protect, right? Yes.

Yeah, and they're complaining that Pornhub pulled out of a state because they weren't doing the age checking. But that clearly means that they didn't want underage people on it as well, because they're no longer in that state.

No one's getting it. Yeah. Right. And to be clear, Pornhub's stance on this has always been, hey, the only thing that actually worked that's been shown to actually work is device specific shit, right? Parental controls. Your kid's shit has parental controls and those things actually. work if you take the time to learn how to use them Jesus but then they start talking about birth control and psychiatric medication this movie's all over the goddamn place at the end

Well, it is, but like they're coming for birth control because they forgot that you're supposed to stick with someone think of the children until you actually get your first concession. That's why the first they came for the poem had so much punctuation. It wasn't like a shopping list that you try and just do.

Yeah. Right. This is where they bring out Kelly Paul here. And the way Kelly Paul spells her first name is the second worst thing about her. K E L L E Y. Yeah. Well, I don't think she chose that one, but. But yeah, but she's like, you know, we're taking away all the things that give life meaning, family, faith, that you matter. And then she like runs out of shit. So she says, you know. that your faith matters, that your family matters, that you're just saying the same shit again.

Dude, there's this great moment where they're talking about psych meds and Robbie's like, look, maybe some kids need depression medication, but most of the time when we were young, we just dealt with this in real life, in person. And I wrote, hashtag the most mentally. ill generation you've ever looked into. Yeah, back in our day, we didn't have no energy. We just hated our lives until we died from eating nine cigarettes from breakfast every fucking morning. Yeah.

But then he's like, you know, or sorry, no, she Kelly is like, you know, and if we look at socialism, it always turns to fascism eventually. And I'm like, well, unless you. Look at most of Europe, I guess. You'd have to very selectively look at socialism, I guess. Or as long as you don't know the meaning of either of those words. Well, right. That's it, exactly. Yeah. But the point that they're both making, of course, they're trying to justify...

their inclusion in GAM. They're saying that the problem is that every two damn atheist, this generation desperately needs God. Yes. And then we get like sort of Robbie's speed close. Where like clearly there were like 43 other things that he wanted to say in his talk, but he hadn't gotten them into the movie yet. So he just crams all of that in like the guy, the Micro Machines guy or something.

He's like a not bright child trying to conclude an essay. You know when you teach someone like the five paragraph format, but then they carry it forward into their real life and you're like, hey man, that was a good outline for third grade, but are you...

Are you trying to summarize all the points in the previous? Yeah, you're trying to summarize all the points in the previous three paragraphs using a sentence each. And they're trying to justify the title, right? The war on children title. They're like, but it is a war, right? Because there's propaganda. There's blood. Wars have blood and trans surgeries sometimes have blood. Kidnapping. There's warriors, right? Because we told you you were warriors. There's victims. Not the ones we think, but...

Like that lady. Yes, right. That mother who was the victim. Yeah, abused her kid into suicide. But wars also have winners and losers. Right. Yeah, exactly. And if we lose this war, all of our kids will turn gay.

He's doing his big speech here, which is literally accompanied by fireworks, by the way. Yes, it is. And one of the things that he demands besides, like, fight for your kids and stand up for what you believe is, let's hold predators accountable with the death penalty. And I was like, okay, I'm going to need you.

your definition of predators my man yeah he says that over the footage of his young daughter as well which is a weird fucking choice but he also says over footage of his kids shooting a gun statistically the leading cause of death for kids under the age of 17 in America Wow. Maybe your priorities are out here. Yeah, right. But they end the movie with him going, we choose to be warriors for children.

What about you? Which is basically like they ending by going, so do you hate babies or do you agree with us? Us. Yeah. But that's it. We finally made it for two hours and 20 minutes of nonstop bigotry. But we made it to the fucking finish line. And Marsh, we are actually recording this before QED. This is our get ahead. But I am confident.

And thanking you for a great time that we had there anyway. And thanks for all the years of community and entertainment and knowledge and curiosity that you guys have given us with the best conference in skepticism. Ah, thank you. Yeah. I mean, look, it's the end of QED.

We're not done doing live events ever. We'll do some other stuff in the future, but it's the last QED and it's been a genuine pleasure to be doing it for so long and to meet so many amazing people and to be able to put this kind of community together. So yeah, it's been amazing. Awesome. So we heard it from Marsh first. Look for QEE coming next year. QED America. Oh, there you go. Run by Marsh for free. Hell yeah. Again.

So, but, but Mars, thank you for that. But also thank you for suffering through this piece of shit while you were getting ready for QED. That's fucking insane that we made you do that. And while that does it for our review of the war on children, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to get back into the swing of things. So Eli, tell us what's on deck.

The War on Children. We're going to watch it again. No, make Heath do it. I have more jokes about Robbie Starbuck. All right, fine. You know I had to sneak in one more spooktacular, so. Oh, okay. A demon is summoned to take the soul of a young boy who has the potential to become a saint. By doing this, he will open a doorway to hell and destroy the world. We'll be watching Bram Stoker's... Shadow Builder.

Well, that doesn't sound awful, but fingers crossed. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 530 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Marsh for all his help. And a quick reminder that you can hear more from him on the No Rogan Experience and Skeptics with a K, which you'll find linked on the show notes. We'll be right back.

Gaving A, The Citation, Needed, D&D Minus, and The Skeptical Credible, wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email Godoffelmovies at gmail.com. Tim Robinson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of The Little Traffs on Mars. All the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Kirk, and was...

Jews with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick, I'm an Illusionist. Promise to work hard to earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the American Graffiti close. All four of the Starbucks kids grew up to be gay and trans in the closest thing possible to evidence of a just God. The gay frogs...

Robbie Starbuck was too afraid to appear on Be Reasonable because he's a big fucking chicken who doesn't actually believe in conversation. Buck, buck, Robbie. Buck, buck, bagal. It is the war on children. I mean, it's the war on trans children specifically, but it's an actual war. The movie is a war on children. That's what I'm saying. They accurately titled it by accident. All right. Interstitial One.

I still wanted to end this with Factor. Their chicken pot pie pasta box. Oh, so good. So good. They won't let me say that. I mean, come on. You want a personal endorsement? that's right that's pretty personal This content is canned credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm at their hotline at 617-249-4255 or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

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