461: Life Flight

I really want to just one of these flashbacks to be back to a time where he had to shoot his wife in the head while she's burning at the stake. And that's because Michael Flatley has ruined flashbacks for him. There is a flashback of that and it's not worth having a flashback. This is a reference to a previous film, guys. Blackbird is the name of the film. It's such a weird thing for you to say without me making that clear.

The occasional listener probably needs to know why you wanted this guy to shoot his wife in the head while she was on fire. I feel like out of context, you're saying Michael Flatley and people are like, yeah, that problem. Yeah, you get it. God Awful Movies! Welcome back to the Gamecast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because of all the ways we get to hang out with Mars.

This is the least expensive. I'm your host, Noah Luzon since sitting 700 miles to my immediate leftism, a good friend, Heath and right. Heath, welcome back. Thanks, Noah. Mars has expensive tastes. He gets into some weird expensive stuff. That's canon now. Yep. And as we've already intimated, sitting one pond on my right is co-host of Skeptics with a K host of Be reasonable and perennial gas mask is Michael Marshal Marsh. Welcome back.

Oh, hey guys, it is a pleasure to be here. I also like that Heath is introducing lies about me in the big form introduced when I feel like I can't even defend myself with that part of that. Yeah, I don't exist yet until that point. I was just talking about the expense of fly and you over here. He's the one that's patchy eating vlog. I think the gentleman, Doth, protest too much. So tell us what will we be breaking down today?

We watched life flight. It's the story of the emergency rescue workers who use Christian magic to rescue people from, you know, getting murdered by God that they worship. Yeah. It's prewatch. We watched prewatch. It is true. And Marsh, how bad was this movie? Well, if you loved air wolf and mash, but you love them mostly for the semi static shots of stationary helicopters. You will love this movie. It's practically like a helicopter, brochure, but sponsored by the Bible.

Right. Right. So I wrote this in my notes somewhere, but every time they have to show us a helicopter in this movie, you get a series of establishing shots like you're choosing your helicopter in forza. Right. And it's not even to every time they have to show us it just every time they show like they need to show anything. It's a helicopter. Right. Sometimes they did this. Well, we haven't had a helicopter on screen for a little bit. Let's throw another one up there. We paid for it.

All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah. I'd like to go with best worst swishing doodly do. Right. Yeah. So and the movie is about to leave the dead end of the treatment for a beep, yes. Out of the metaverse and to the peraverse into some other very insane. There's so many levels deep so quickly and they have no idea which level at any moment.

At one point this movie Christopher Nolan walks into the middle of the screen and says what the fuck is going on? Yeah. We never we've never needed Eli more. but Eli got it from because this is an old movie. Maybe Eli watched this and said, you know what? Sushi the dude. Yeah. No, I know. I bet Eli started writing a sketch and he's in one of those swoo studio to do versus now. Right. Yeah. Maybe we'll get him out. We'll try to get him out. Yeah, exactly. We got to finish this review to release.

Christopher Nolan just slapped me in the face. I don't know what's happening. So okay. So I was, I, you know, I feel like you guys probably could have guessed mine going in, but I was going to go with best worst room noise. All right. The hiss, the ambient hiss in this movie. I look, I seriously strongly considered just recording the audio for this movie while I was away from my desk doing a noise removal on audacity and then sinking it back up with the video.

And I honestly, I would have done that except there were ads in it. So I wouldn't be able to get it all to sync up later. It's cool. If you play an old record backwards, it actually cancels all that and it's perfectly clear. If you listen to this at the same time. Yeah. No, that's fair. It did feel, at one point, I did want to start a look up on a map. Does demine, Iowa have a giant waterfall?

Because I feel like I'm going to go with best worst scene transitions because the way that we get from one scene to another in this film is just constantly incredibly jarring. At one point, it's like, well, we've finished the sentence at the end of that scene. So the second, the last word, the last syllable is dying on the actresses lips. We're already somewhere else. But then at one point, the director is like, no, I still feel like we're not transitioning earlier enough. That's still too late.

And so he starts transitioning mid to two point that's so confusing. I felt like I was getting side tackled through the movie from scene to scene because personally as I was watching. And the fucked up thing is that they spend so much time on the establishing shots of the helicopter. And every time it's not a helicopter, you're dying for an establishing shot, right? Yes. I've no idea when stuff happens, where it happens.

At one point, we go between like three different things that are supposed to be happening at the same time, I guess, but they're all in different periods of the day. So it feels like we just tripping through days. Right. And it's happening so quickly. I felt it was technically a strobe effect that they were doing at that point, the scene transitions. So it doesn't help that the moods of this movie are so like are just downright schizophrenic, right?

Like yes, we'll go straight from sort of a wacky fucking clowny scene to a child shooting herself in the head with a gun, you know, like immediately. That's so good. Not an exact, it's just barely an exaggeration. Just barely, just fucking barely. All right. Well, I'll tell you what, we've got a lot of action to imply. So we're going to keep the break brief. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the moralizing bullshit that is life flight. This message is sponsored by Greenlight.

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All right, fellas, welcome to the first ever writers room meeting for life flight. Ray. Life flight. Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, we've got a ton of helicopter B roll that's going to make up probably 50% of this movie. So the actual writing process should be pretty easy for us. Okay, okay. But when you say helicopter B roll, you do mean a helicopter flying through the air, right? Look at Dave with all the questions. Anyway, moving on. Sorry, sorry. Is that a no? Is that a no this guy?

So okay. So in terms of inciting incident, I think we could do sort of a nesting flashback situation. I feel like you're just you're avoiding Dave's question like twice now. Well, not if you keep bringing it back up, I'm not Larry. Well, is the B roll of a flying helicopter or not? Yes. Yes, what? Yes, the footage contains a flying helicopter. Sorry, contains. Yes. How much of it exactly? Like what? Like almost half dude.

Did you get fucked into buying a bunch of B roll of a stationary vehicle again? God, this is tank attack all over again. Guys, guys, this is quality B roll of a parked helicopter. Only most of it. What the fuck are we gonna do with shots of a parked helicopter? We could use it for establishing shots. How many times can a movie possibly need to establish helicopter? You would be amazed.

We're back for the room hiss and literally the first goddamn thing I wrote in my notes was, oh my God, at the room hiss. Jesus, it's deafening. It was louder than the plane I took home from New Jersey. It genuinely was so much louder. Yeah. It's a lot. And we also get the name of the production company, which is shaking at this point, which is yes. All the things on screen are shaking. Sound footage of a production. He's wriggling around. So weird.

And just between the logo and the fact that it's shaking, it's got a very kind of like 1980s school educational film vibe. Like they've wheeled in the VCR and the big Kelly and you have to cross-legged and watch this thing teach you about stuff. Oh, there is. Nothing quite like a cheap production logo from the 80s, man. So we get a bunch of credit, but we eventually resolve on so many credits. It's so long. It's like two minutes of credit. Sorry.

I also thought that the people's names were way more impressive than they actually were. It's like, well, they're going to want linger on this person's name here. There's no way we want to sort of go straight past the the associate producer was peg caught. And I wrote that sounds like a euphemism for someone who's trying to solicit a dildo into their ass. It's like they're a peg caught.

Yeah. So it's funny because like, you know, back in the days, early days of cinema, they did the credits up front and then to the end, it would just be the end. And then eventually the credits moved to the back. I feel like 1987 was this weird transitional period where they did both, right? Yeah. Peg courted us and doing my front. That's for sure. No. No. So, but yeah, we eventually we resolve on this snowmobile. And the we have this like tight shot on a tree stump that we back away from.

It is the most artless opening shot in cinematic history. We're going to do some our cold open means snow, right? And then we'll be artistic. The extreme close up on the tree trunk for to begin with, I couldn't tell if we were watching a colonoscopy. That's how bad this shot was. That's what it looked like. It could have been also the resolution.

This film is so low that everything that moves when the snowmobile comes on screen, it looks like it's got a false field because we're either pixels in the video aren't moving and it it's it. Yeah. Hey, have any of you guys ever snowmobile before? I have not. Yeah. Yeah. You have. It is a kid alive. It looks awesome. It looks so much fun. Oh, it's time to fuck. I'm in Michigan. I could do that. Snowmobile guy at that point was like snowmobile friends. I feel like it goes.

I end up like going to NFTs at the end. It sucks. Right. No, it's yeah, probably not worth it. Also, you go out and find the largest lake with the thinnest layer of ice on top of it. And you would probably snowmobile over that for a good 45 second. Oh, crazy. I mean, Atheist, Marsha, I would never do that. This is so fucking hilarious. So the movie needs to start with the snowmobile going like crashing through the ice, but apparently the ice wasn't being kind to them that day.

So they have to drive like midway across Lake Michigan before the fucking ice finally pray. They drive so long that global warming kicks in. That's what breaks the ice. So they fall in the cold water and they thrash around for so long. It's like solid 20 seconds. I'm going to. It's so much. So you can see the actors be like, did we cut now because we did a lot of it. You said no, no, thrash more. You're saying thrash. You're doing the rolly finger thing. All right. Bob, it's so long.

Well, and the funniest thing about it too is that for movie purposes, we can't know who this is yet. Right. So they have their helmets on from their snowmobiling and don't take them off as they're crashing around in the water. So. Ah, so then we get the first of many establishing shots of the life flight helicopter. Right. My flight to real thing. Yes. Okay. I did not know that to the point where people were asking me what movie I was watching this week.

I was like, I genuinely can't remember the title. It's completely immeasurable to me. So I thought they've made this up. So you have like rescue helicopters, but they are a specific company with a specific name that hospitals have to hire in. Is that how that works? We have private emergency medical services. Yes. Yes. Right. I thought they made it up. Okay. No, that's a real thing. My brother rode life flight when really. Yeah. Yeah. He got no car accident. They had a life flight amount.

So we're going to meet Hornstash pilot. This is Rob. Oh, yeah. We get an establishing shot of 1987, which is Rob's popped collar and mustache. Yes. Yes. Pop collar in it with a blue denim shirt collar pop. So it obscures most of his head. Yes. And he's wearing what looks like a white like a woolen cricket jumper over the top of this. This denim shirt. He's rolled up obviously it was the course. Of course. Of course. Yeah. No, Rob has never met a collar. He could not pop, right? It's so good.

And he walks in two seconds into the movie now. And he's like, what's this book of Christian lessons about? It's on the table right there. I was like, okay. I love it. He picks up a book that's titled Knowing God's Will Biblical Principles of Guidance. And he says, so what's this about? Yes. Okay. The interaction here was fun though. So he asks that to his coworker who names Kelly, right? Yes. And she's like, do you really want to know? And he's like, I do not know. No, sure. No, sure.

I mean, I love that. I did want to know. So I look this book up. It's on Amazon. It's got a five star rating on Amazon. Oh, it's got one review. Probably the author. The author is a guy called someone Blaine. And line from the author's bio, Blaine serves the founder and director of the Sons of Thunder believed by many to be America's first active Christian rock band. Really? Come on. The invented Christian rock or at least active Christian rock. That's right. What is inactive Christian rock?

Yeah, like passive Christian rock. Yeah. Okay. So if this is the guy that invented Christian rock and you're listening to this episode perhaps in your time machine, you've already taken care of baby Hitler and baby Paul Pot. I just, I don't know the first name, but it's a play something Blaine. Maybe worth looking at. And it's good because you've got your time machine. You probably got like enough juice in the engine for one more trip. Don't go back to 2003 Japan. Don't go back to ancient.

Do this. Exactly. I enjoy that dynamic though. You got it. Like that's fun. You know every Christian person is dying for you to ask him a question about their dumb book, the Bible, this other book. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't do this with my Christian bartender. And actually he tried to convert me all the time. So he deserves this. I'd be like, Hey, finally, why don't you tell me about the Christ Jesus? I'm actually interested now. And he'd start answering and be like, so boring. Nobody cares.

Every time. Got him like once a week for two years. So and oh, we also have to establish this metal. There's a military metal that's hanging in the room that they that Kelly and Rob are in. And Rob's like, Hey, this is significant to the plot, huh? This metal. And she's like, sure is. And she picks it up. Is it? Yes. I thought this point. I've looked the book up. I'm not looking the metal. I've stopped myself looking you dope. I'm not looking the metal.

Oh, I spent so long looking this metal up before I remembered that my phone just has a thing where you can take a picture of something and ask it what it is. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, now I can just do that. Yeah, that would do it. Right. Right. To be clear, it does not matter to the movie. That's correct. Except in terms of the worst, worst swishing adoodle, you do concept that the movie is doing. Right. This is the inception totem for the movie to know where it is in the movie they're making.

Oh, it's a spin in top. Right. I understand now. So, okay. So they get the call. There's snow mobiles to the ice. They need life lights. So they're spring into action. Also at one point they asked, they said, okay, we're coming. We're in the helicopter coming. We're going to need a rope. Yep. Fight makes sense. You know how to roll rope up makes sense. And we're also going to need some men to help remove a doll. Okay. What doll? Why do you want to remove? Thank you. They will remove a doll.

It is insane. It's a stupid idea. I don't know how that helped. Yeah. I thought I heard it wrong. Like, sorry, they said a man through like a locksmith. They're going to pick up a locksmith. I mean, they don't have the way to a loop of this right? Like drop the kids off at the pool kind of a thing or something. What are you talking about? But then as they're flying in, Kelly looks at that metal and she flashes back.

Now almost the rest of the movie will be this doodly-two and it will contain several swishes, right? Yeah. But this totem will actually keep us in it. Like by at the end, I was like, oh, shit. Now I actually do know where they were each time. Yeah. They kind of hold it together. Except that the totem shows up constantly and is never changed in any way. So there's that. That is true.

But I think at one point, they're like, they swish the doodly-do and I think in that doodly-do, they throw in another swish because we will do a flashback within the flashback in a side kind of a side thing that's going on. So I think they swish a doodly-do and then doodly-do a swish or I don't know. It's even worse than that, Marc. There's a point in this doodly-do where she flashes back to earlier in the doodly-do. That does happen. There's also flashbacks of flashbacks like PTSD.

So they get extra confused because that word happens multiple times too. But not hers. It's her doodly-do and she's having other people's PTSD flashbacks within her doodly-do. Oh my God. That's incredible. I never even noticed that. Yeah, no, she's got like a gene gray thing going from PTSD. It's pretty good.

Clearly, clearly. Yeah. So, but I guess so we're flashing back and I guess we're flashing back like two weeks or a week and a half or some this movie really could have done with the thing that just said eight days earlier or something like that, right? But they hadn't discovered those yet in 1987 apparently. So we're going to flashback a week and a half or so.

We see her in the office trying to get more volunteers to fly life flight with her and I normally wouldn't bring this up, but that's going to be the plot of the movie as much as anything is the plot of the move. Yes, that is true. So then we also we cut to this ambulance driver that we've never seen in an office with a lady that we don't know that this is CJ and Linda. They are a married couple. Linda is an administrator at the hospital and CJ drives the ambulance.

And Linda is nearly identical to Kelly in every physical way. Oh my God. Yes. It's very confusing. It's so hard to be. It took me like half the movie to realize it was definitely two different characters. Well, right. And CJ, we're going to meet this character. Michael later, Michael is just CJ with a different hair color too. Yeah, exactly. And all of this is just really not helped by the fact that the resolution of this really old film is so low. That's really like I'm squinting anyway.

So that these people could be anyone at any point. Yeah. Then later we'll have a reveal and it's one of the characters you've seen before and I couldn't tell. Yes, revealed. Just a not land on me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the things that makes it extra hard is apparently every single woman in 1987 was wearing monochrome light blue all the time or maybe. Yes, there was also pick. Yes, this this lady. But they keep these two characters do nothing but blue for a while.

Yeah, this lady is dressed as the concept of blue. Everything about her is blue. Yeah. Right. Yeah, what was the hyper intelligent shade of the color blue from Hitchhiker's guy? She's that. Yeah. So yeah. And so the ambulance driver's in her office, she's talking on the phone about something. He looks out and he sees the life flight helicopter landing. And this is the first time we we swish to do it. We do right. He starts flashing back to mom as he's looking out at that helicopter.

And I really wanted this to be like a really violent and traumatic flashback to now. The time he shots like an indigenous boy in the face in the middle of the village or something. It's not, but I just I thought I was hoping to do that. He's just remembering that helicopter's exist is what his flashback is. Yes, exactly. Yes, more or less. So, but these two are a married couple, CJ and Linda. And so after she gets off the phone, they start joking around a little bit.

He's like, I picked up your running shoes. So we do one of those smash cuts that made Marsha's best worst to them jogging together. Yeah, instantly. And the sentence, he says running shoes and she like, she's basically in the running shoes before he can get the words out. Right. It's like they burst through that scene like cool-aid man going through a wall and started jogging. Yeah. In new shoes, extra fast. Yeah. And her running shoe, her running wear is also a hundred percent blue.

She's like the blue power angel. Like everything. Yeah. She looks like a light blue theme superhero now. She's got like a weird, flowy jogging or jogging suit. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. I also, I feel like jogging is meant to be less conversational than what they're doing here. Right. This poor guy, he's not a runner and he's like trying to like deliver this very long dumb joke while they jog side by side. And the poor actor is so on a breath by the end. Yeah. He is not convinced.

Oh, if you try to talk to me during jogging, I'm vomiting and not talking. Sure. Yeah. That's not working out. Yeah. He's a bad runner. But he thinks he's pretty good. He's like, race is heard to a bridge. I'm sure he says I'll race you to the bridge. The next like cut is him getting to the bridge and he's looking behind him to see where she is. And then she's just on the other side of the bridge. So did you like fucking teleport there or something? Right. How does he not know? It is known.

Same. He's like, you took the shortcut, didn't you? What the fuck would that mean if you're approaching a bridge? How would there be a shortcut to the other end of that bridge other than the bridge? The bridge is the short cut. That's what a bridge is for. A bridge is very much a show could forget it. I was like, okay, we're in a non-uclidean universe inside this dude. This wish I guess cool. See how it goes. Well, so it's so they couldn't see the bridge from where they were.

So it may have been that like you have to wind around a path and get to the bridge. But then he says you took the shortcut and she says no, I didn't. So so how did it happen? Did she get so far ahead of him that she was out of sight and then he forgot? Did she like look? Yeah, outside of a teleportation, there's no way that this works logistically. Oh, I think I've got it.

I think at one point a helicopter flew overhead and he immediately flashback to NAMM and then she escaped during a flashback. That's the only thing that makes sense. Well, it's either that or she ran around the world in the opposite direction and went up there. Yeah. So okay, it's like a Pac-Man scenario maybe. Oh yes. Right. That park has okay. So all right. Then we cut to Eric getting reigned by his girlfriend for having no ambition. Who is Eric? Fuck you. Are we still in the dude and we do?

Fuck you. Girlfriend have a hair volcano. Fuck you. Yeah. I wrote here because her line is Eric. You're going nowhere and I wrote she's got a point. The car is static, but she also literally has a point because her head is a triangle. So she does have a point. Yeah. Now, so we will never see this girl again. And Eric is such a meaningless character that I'm shocked to even get the name. But his girlfriend breaks up with him because every time he goes out with Brian, he gets struck.

None of this matters. But to him, like remembering her having done that again in Kelly's flashback, right? Yeah. I couldn't tell if he was remembering that because again, the sentence, that first of all, every line she delivered was 80 yards so badly that it even bothered trying to like match the lips. Right. So it seemed like she was just like transmitting those thoughts directly into his brain. And then we cut to her still doing that.

And I thought is she still has he, has he like gone home and she's still transmitting the rest of the ring out through his brain? And it's like a long time or then that's just how bad the 80 hours. Yeah. Exactly. Kelly's having a flashback of this guy, Eric, having a flashback and getting roasted in a car by his girlfriend is about to break up with him. I think that's a pretty cool power that Kelly has. Bible peace theater has nothing. It is, especially given that she doesn't meet Eric.

And anytime she could possibly be around Eric, he's in a coma. So she can't know any of this. Yeah. No, I know. Or can she. And so that we got to him. So he's back at home thinking about getting broke up with the scroll for it. He gets a gun out of the drawer. We will never see this gun again. Right. There will be a gun in the movie, not this one. This gun is, we're done with this one. Yeah, this was a check off's gun pump fake actually. Yeah, interesting one I hadn't seen before.

And it was a weird like going to kill myself. No, but no, it's afternoon, like a block on the, yeah, the suicide is weird. It was a really weird moment. No idea. Yeah. So then we cut to Kelly back at the office, still trying to cover a shift for that night. Again, this, we cut between that and Eric, he's out drunk driving now to a hilarious degree.

He's, I thought he was on his fourth can because he like, he throws, we look outside, he's on his fourth can, but later we'll find he's had eight cans of food and his, has got a ninth on the go while he's driving. Yeah, he does. And he's one of those standard drinkers that you know, when you drink eight beers, you throw the cans into a neat pile in an area, right? Right. Yeah, sometimes you crumple the can when you're done.

If you're feeling like extra, like you drank it hard, but then you know, you just toss aside regular. You want to not do crazy, but he's, he's drank nine cans in the car. This guy is going to need to pee so badly. Maybe that's why his driving starts going erratic because he's like, I'll need to pee. I should have thought this through. I should only have had a couple of cans and then found the toilet. Always just pee yourself. Roads safety. He's helpful tips.

That sounds like you should be delivered by a cartoon animal, like a safety bag. The more you know, there you go. It's a PSA. Nice. Nice. So we cut back to Kelly. She's, she's doing more paperwork. Sorry. Go ahead. So we cut back to Kelly. We're going to do a more paperwork and there's a rando that comes in. I guess this is the volunteer to fly life flight tonight. This is Michael. He's suddenly going to be a main character.

Yeah. And they're talking about their mutual friend Rob, that is porn, stash helicopter pilot and how Michael just can't seem to share God's love with him. Yeah. He's just not interested in God's will. He keeps asking me, but it's like a prank every time and I'm like, oh, I was being boring. Fuck. Won't work. And then she asks him about a kit cost. And I still make in the kit cost. She's asking about a kit cost. She asked Rob about a kit car. Now she's asking Michael about the kit car.

But I had to write this lady's asking about kit cars. Is this the same lady? Is it the same kit car? I have no idea. And we are a decent chunk into this film. No clue. Yeah. But it is the same kit car. They're making it together. She starts talking about like, oh, you know when you're making the kit car, you want to do it the right way? You want to get the manual and I thought, okay, she's doing it using the kit car as a subtle analogy for God. And then she says, anyway, it's a lot like God.

She's a lot like God. Okay. Well, that's the solution. Anyway, this is not a metaphor. This is just regular talk. Yeah. Like three different times this movie does this. Right? Like it sets this up as an analogy. And then it goes, this is an analogy. Yeah. So and what's hilarious to me about this is that it's undercutting its own fucking analogy. Right? Because they're like, well, you guys are making the kit car. You're using the manual while you do that, right?

And he goes, actually, no, Rob refuses to use the manual. And she's like, it's just like the way that the Bible is a manual for life. He's like, right, but I just said he refuses to use the manual. So this is fall apart before you set it. And the implication is like, if you don't follow the instructions of a kit car, it's just like being an atheist in the world where the manual instructions of life is like, like, like we put the wheels in a pile and just have gay sex on it.

That's like what we do. Yeah. So then we cut back to Eric. He crashes into the river. Now there was a seat earlier where he finished a beard. He threw it in the river. So then he crashes into the river and the beer can catch us up with him as if to go, ha, this is what gotcha, right? Yes. But it doesn't mean that he was driving on average below river speed. Seems like a very safe speed to be driving. Yeah. So okay. So now we get the helicopter taking off within the doodly do, right?

This is the next helicopter establishing a shot that we got. Rob gets into pilot. Kelly gets in and Michael the volunteer gets in and he's like, hey, can you teach me the vote? Most very basic aspects of nursing on the fly right now. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do we do when we get there? I'm new and she's like, oh, right. Fuck. You're doing a follow today. I feel like maybe you just watch. Yeah. They were just sitting around talking about a kid car in Jesus.

Why didn't she tell him then what to do? That sounds like a great time to do the training. You get me tips. I get them. That's the rule. Especially because then she wouldn't be like having to mumble the medical terms under both the sound of the rota and the sound of the music that they put up way too loud, like the sound guy and the sound of the room. Yes. Yeah. We can't hear a thing. There's also this great fucking moment. Here's so stupid.

So we listened to the EMT on the scene relaying the vital signs of Eric to her. And then we listened to her relaying the vital signs to dispatch. And then we cut to the dispatch and a doctor comes in and says, what do we got? And I was sure we were going to listen to the dispatcher tell the doctor the vitals to we didn't cut off before that. But I was sure we were going there. Yeah. I really, I really desperately wanted to see it as well. Or if it's just like telephone game, it's way around.

Oh, sure. A hospital admin. Every single level of the hospital. Yeah. I like on the radio when there's other emergency services that have arrived on the scene already. This helicopter with Kelly in it is a few minutes out. Still on the radio being like, oh, so yeah, I mean, like I just got those vital signs from you. You already saved the guy. Like, I'm the main character. Don't fully save him yet. I just got the first. Well, that's the thing because she is the main character.

And this is a medical drama. And they've just got to the scene of the crash, which means obviously they're going to like spring into into action. They're going to do a lot of medic. Nope, nope. Nope. We don't get to see any of the medical care. None of the emergency care. No, and we're not going to come back to any of there. We're just going to see Eric later. He'll be in the hospital. It would have been funny if they land. She steps out. Well, fuck. Okay. I just flies back.

This whole thing is a medical drama without any medicine or any point. Right? Yeah. You guys need a main character. It's fuck you. So, okay, then we cut to a random couple waking up. We have not met this couple. They will never be named. But the wife wakes up and she's like, husband, I heard something and he's like, well, I'll shoot it with a gun then. Yes. So he gets up. Just be clear in getting up.

He also apparently wakes up the electoral funk band who will also be the ruler of the rock is the second to get out of bed as I boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, so loud. And it's like all in one motion. Like this is Iowa, perfect Iowa. Like, hey, I heard it. Any noise, he's already up. He's got a gun. He's spinning bullets and revolver all in one motion. Yeah. Ready to go. Right. Yeah. Because Blyrii'd half asleep in the dark. Those are the best circumstances for a firearm.

So he goes into the kitchen and there's a fucking cat in there that cat is knocked to pot down. Yes. And if you can cat, if you fucking have a cat, you always hear a noise in the middle of the night. Is this a nightly routine where he's like, yeah, no, it was to cat again for the 137th night in a row. She is definitely still the cat because I can second later. There's like a little shadowy thing and there's suddenly a girl that I thought is his daughter an animal. Did you pass into a daughter?

No, that's exactly how they play at the cat jump. Off the fucking counter and then we cut back to the floor that it just jumped into and it's a little girl just a little five year old like slowly patting a cup to the very edge of the cat. Well, but also this isn't like so the guy has a cat and a five year old and his immediate responses to there's a noise in the house is to shut the run out gun first like fucking Joe Pesci just heard an owl and like, because of it.

Yeah. And it's great because like what's actually happened as you say the cat is not to plant pot over. So we see a plant pot on the floor in the kitchen and I really want the air ambulance to have to come in and like deal with that plant pot. What's the vital size? How much soil is left? Come on. Throw a rub. Right. Right. So yeah, so but he goes back to bed.

He tells his wife, yeah, turns out it was the cat for the 187th night in a row and he puts the gun back in his 1980s gun safe, read shoe box in the closet. But critically, hold on, he put in the back of the shelf. Right. No, it's safe. A little kid big shelf. It's not crazy. Yeah. He doesn't unload it either, but that's fine. It's exactly that's the important thing. He forgets to unload it. So okay. So then we cut to Kelly and Michael leaving work for the night.

Of course, what we wrote in the notes originally was and then some people we may or may not have seen are leaving somewhere, right? This is what happens when I do the scene. Two white people and helicopter. That's the stop. It's not ever seen that doesn't help us. That's just always, that's just always. So but yeah, but they're leaving the hospital after a night of helicopter nursing or whatever. And this is where Kelly asks if Michael can watch her fish for her for a few days.

This is so mad because like we didn't get to see the crash trauma medicine scene in this medical drama, but we do get a fish request. That is an important part for the plot that we do need to talk about. Not only that, but we're going to come back to this 306. The fish might just be the plot of the move. Yeah, right. She says, I'm moving into a new apartment. Can you look after my fish? And I'm like, what does the left side of that sentence have to do with the right side? But okay.

Maybe she's moving in, but the fish on. Maybe there's like a break up situation. So yeah, so then we we clumsily cut to Kelly at the office the next day. She's talking to a mid-level manager about funding for life flight again. Yes. Oh, and it's so good. It's so good because at one point, like it feels like the stakes of this are going to be like the human resourcing of the life flight. Do we have enough people? That's the stakes of the whole fucking film.

But at one point he says, well, you know, you need to take this up with Linda Reynolds. Linda Reynolds. And then we get an insta cut to Linda Reynolds there. Like this guy just summoned her. Like she turns up when you say her name. Right. Well, and the other thing too is then what the fuck is the scene with you doing here, man? Right? And he's like, well, you have to this is not my department taught to Linda. And then we have the same scene with Linda.

Yep. If we just went straight to Linda Reynolds, we wouldn't know why we were talking to Linda Reynolds. I get established up. Linda Reynolds is the one to talk to you. But I will say this is the first of two times that the movie passes the backdeltest, right? Fair. Oh, do they? Yeah. Linda and Kelly talk about funding the life flight program here. So only in retrospect, once you remember that Kelly has a name. Right. You need to have that detail to pass the backdeltest. It comes in.

Yeah. So then, okay. So we cut Michael, the nurse that volunteer for life, like he's checking on Eric, who is the drug driving kid. Eric is now in a coma and will be for the remainder of the movie. But Michael will keep like talking to him and bothering him. Yes. Right? Like he keeps coming into this comatose guy's room to tell him about his efforts to Christianize Rob. Right. And I think I think Michael says to Eric, I think it's some like, oh, you probably don't remember me.

I don't even remember you. You can't tell if anybody else. Don't remember. You were unconscious. The feeling that Jesus great. I met you when you were in a coma. You probably don't remember you think you're still in that coma. Yeah. Yeah. So then we speed cut again to Michael and Rob working on their kit car. I was amazed. We got to kick out. I thought I can't believe neither the guns so far have paid off, but check out his kit car. We'll come back. Right. Right. Remember Rob's name, yeah.

But yes, there's this great fucking scene here. I love this so much because they're trying to do the manual for the kit car analogy to the Bible again. So Rob's like, so you know, how how should what's the timing setting for this? And he's like, well, the book says it's four degrees off at top dead center or whatever the fuck the term is. And he goes, I say we go 14 degrees. And we might as well get the orchestra staying. You know what? Like intelligent designing, we're doing 14 degrees.

Hey. Okay. It's degrees a right measure for this. I assume there's something about kit cars or engine timers that I don't understand. Would you prefer radians? Well, I think it's on a it's a clock dial scenario. Yeah. Oh, okay. Right. I was thinking it will degrees. That's either angle or temperature. Yeah. But after all, nothing that felt like it couldn't have been eyes with those things. Well, I reckon it's timing that we're talking about. Yeah. It's time that neither was a measure time.

Yeah, fuck it. We'll set the thing to 180 degrees. We'll drive the kit car backwards. Fuck it. While we're doing 14, you might as well go all the way. Yeah. So the dumb atheist is like, we're doing 14. I don't care. And Michael, the Christian is like, that seems a little silly. The instructions say what they say. And then Rob, the A, this is like, I always do things my own way. And then he's so funny. He's like, wait, are you doing, are you doing like a Bible analogy again?

Are you trying to get it right? Yeah, but then he's like, he's like, well, this is just like you and your silly Bible. And I'm like, really? You guys are going to fucking shit on your own and now it's again. So they start talking Bible, right? They just immediately shift from the timing discussion to talking about how silly the Bible is. And Rob says, all right, this prayer thing, if God already knows what's going to happen in what I want, why do I need to pray? End of scene.

So it is end of scene, but there's a pause. And I can almost hear the direct, you're going, damn it. I'm going to put that smash cut button. Just when we need it. It's so good. If God knows what I'm doing, controls everything. What the fuck are we doing here? I wanted that giant pause and then credits and how would that be? That's such a good movie. Right. Oh my God. That's amazing. So good. Right. Well, I get it.

Like it basically just screened what's that over there and pulled a fucking rip cord. So I guess we can pause pretty quick. Well, the movie figures out what the fuck it's going to do. But we'll be back in a flash with even more life flight. Hey, Noah. Noah. Noah. Yeah, man. What's up? Hey, yeah. Have you seen the good palette Jack? We have multiple palette jacks. We do. And this one here doesn't have the nice grippy hand part. I, okay. No, I have no idea. Man, ask Eli. Oh, he's gone this week.

Well, I don't know what to tell you. Why do we even have one? Mostly shenanigans at the citation needed studio. Shenanigans, yeah. Okay. So I'll use the bad one without the nice grippy hand part. What do you need? Okay. There's a palette of cornstarch in the garage. I need a tablespoon for my crispy shrimp tacos that I'm making. Why would you get a palette if you only need a tablespoon? Couldn't afford not to know. Couldn't afford not to. Also, Costco only has palette to that.

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Hello Fresh helps reduce food waste by up to 45% compared to grocery shopping or like 5 million percent if you're doing palettes of everything. Lucinda and I started getting Hello Fresh before they were even a sponsor and it's been great. It saves time on shopping. There's always plenty of variety. And it's been helping me eat a more heart healthy diet. That's why I know illusions personally endorse Hello Fresh. Okay. But what if I'm traveling? No problem at all.

Just update your delivery address and they'll send everything right to your vacation spot. All right. I'm sold. Where do I send up? Just go to HelloFresh.com slash Awful Apps for free appetizers for life. One appetizer item per box, well subscription is active. That's free appetizers for life at HelloFresh.com slash Awful Apps. Nice. So you want me to help you return this palette of cornstarch? No. Wait, why? What are you going to do with all this? Don't worry about it.

Okay, you're making it weird. I'm going to take off. It's not weird. I like to make a big pile and then smush my... I'm already gone. I'm already gone. It's smush my toes in it. My toes. Okay. Now that actually sounds great. Right? Get in there. It does though. Halic Jack. So how does manual say for ignition timing? Let's see. Oh, it says four degrees before top dead center. Shh. Maybe if you're a sissy, I say we go 14 degrees. That's crazy, Rob. The manual, it very clearly says four degrees.

Manual? Shamanual. You want to spend your life doing what the book tells you? Like you do with that sissy Bible of yours? No. Well, I am a maverick. I'm a radical. I play by my own rules. We're going crazy with it. Yeah, I know you do. And like, to be honest, I think that's what's fucking up our kit car. Oh, in my way. Well, take the tires, for example. I still think we should have put them where the manual said. It had all four on the same side, Michael. That's stupid.

Well, it had all four on the bottom. Yeah. Compromised half your way, half my way. I thought that was fair. Okay. So what about the gas pedal in? What about it? Well, it's meant to be on the driver's side, isn't it? You got to admit, giving the driver all the pedals will greedy, right? Uh-huh. And then this whole business about running it on chocolate milk instead of gasoline. So much less dangerous. Right. Yeah. But it won't work. But I'm a maverick. A maverick, yeah. No, I do get that.

A radical. Who plays by his own rules, yeah. I know I get that as well. But like, I just felt maybe in this instance, we should just do what the book says. Okay. Okay. The last time you said that about a book, ended up selling my daughter to a rapist and owning slaves. So. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So tires on the top still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ties on the top still. Nice. Awesome. So, I think we're going to be able to do this.

We're going to rejoin the jogging couple doing dishes and discussing the plot. Some of my notes here are just is she Linda? Is that Kelly? Is that CJ? Who's with? Wait, which one is Michael? Jesus. Yeah. I had who even is this guy? Is this the ambulance driver? I don't know. I think it is. I think it is. Yes, it is. It's CJ, the ambulance driver and his wife Linda, the hospital administrator.

And they're talking about how he's got the PTSD that doesn't allow him to get on helicopters, which is challenging because he wants to do the life flight thing. Right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I think he says, you know, but at some point, you know, he says, I've just got some things to work out. And she's basically saying, oh, you mean like your traumatic war backstory? He's like, yeah, yep, that's what needs to be worked out.

Yeah. She's like, yeah, you told me your helicopter was shot down, which is a weird thing for me to mention right now if this isn't exposition. But also she thinks it's more to the story than that. She's like, well, you told me about the helicopter, you shot down, but you didn't tell me the rest of it. It's like, I feel like that's enough. You get PTSD from being the helicopter that gets shot down. I am your wife, Linda. You are CJ. We look like two other people that we know and you have PTSD.

Now let's have the rest of our conversation. And for a second, I thought she was doing something good. She was like, yeah, maybe you know, you should talk about your PTSD. That can help. And he's like, but how? And she's like, oh, great question. Talk to God. That's what I meant. Jesus, talk to God. Not me. Not me.

Yes. But this is where she carries on talking, but to another one of those transitions where someone is talking and we change her to the scene because we see him walking upstairs to the attic. And I thought he just like walked away from her as she doing the dog thing. He's calling up to him. Yeah, right. No, thank you. But no, he's going to his attic to look at, look into his big box of war memories. Oh, his big box of wall sound effects apparently. Yeah. Right.

I found my box of sadness and some sound effects. I found a record. It's just noises of Vietnam. I should turn it off. I mean, it's not. Yeah. So he's up there remembering his memories. This is where he comes across his night of the nights of multi-cross. That's the metal. Yeah. That I pathologically looked up while we were looking at the movie. And this takes him into a full blown flashback within someone else's doodly too.

Right. Yeah. And he's like, he's wistfully flashing back to the time he found a dead guy in Vietnam. Because he's got like the expression in his face isn't like trauma or shock or horror. It's like, oh, yeah, that's a dead guy at that time. Yeah. God had a plan. Yeah. Invented communism. So I could murder these people and beat communism. But we lost this war. But eventually we beat communism. I don't know that yet. Cool. So good plan. Yeah. So we cut to Vietnam guys not northern California.

This is Vietnam. We're in. It's not just one of the it's not the jungle part, but we do get to see a little bit of the Viet Cong. And it's pretty clearly just like three Asian American actors feeling super uncomfortable how problematic this is going to be. Obviously Filipino. Yes. Sacramento Vietnam. Yeah. Yes. So yeah. But we see a helicopter in some airplanes. The helicopter shows up to get an injured guy, right? There's explosions everywhere, but little ones they didn't have a big budget.

And then as the helicopter is taking off, it gets shot like the the Viet kind of Filipino Viet Cong shoot it down. Trust us it explodes. It's a big fight. We don't it's behind that hill somewhere. But yeah, there's no way to this movie. I've helicopter crashed me. This movie barely has helicopter landing. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. It's mostly mostly it has helicopter landed money.

Yeah. Oh, do we get the very important sort of tagliney part of the movie here too, where it was like get rescue, you know, like they're the rescues about to happen and he has to yell to somebody or somebody has to yell to him like run to the chopper now to get rescued. Yeah. And then I think the exact phrasing is go for it. And that's going to come back as a like a lesson about. Oh my God. Is that why two people who are not in any way involved in this flashback say that later?

Yes, it was amazing when it came back. I was like, no, no, no, no, this is where they also in his swish dootily do flashback back. I didn't even pick up. I mean, either that was coming back. Jesus. When you said the tagline of the movie, I'm like, where is he going with this? Yes, that is right. Right. Well done. I was just trying to yes on there, but I was like, I'm going to yes on but quietly to myself until I know where this is going. Yeah, this movie is very well written.

You guys should take back a lot of things. You've said. Right. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, so but then we back out of the flashback not to do to lead to just the flashback to Linda and CJ Lane and bed and he's like, yeah, and then the helicopter crashed and exploded. It looks really cool and high budget when it happened. You weren't there. It was pretty out. I'm back in the room with you now. I had been yelling this whole time from upstairs. Now we're back. Yeah. Right. Exactly.

He was in a different room. He's all because he even tells her that he doesn't remember the helicopter landing. He's like, because even he even this movie knows it can't even pretend that helicopters do land due to the course of this movie. He has to kind of like he wasn't even there for it. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, but he just can't bring himself to get back into a chopper after that. So then we cut to Kelly dropping her fish off with Rob.

Thank God. I was worried what was what was going to happen with the sitting. God damn it. Get to the plot. Oh my God, we see her take him through the entire set of instructions on how to care for these fish. It takes so long. This is apparently an important part of this film is that we understand that this film could actually double as an educational film for fish maintenance. Yes. Right. The amount of detail we get. Yeah. So yes, we listened to that.

And then we cut to remember trigger happy who was going to shoot his cat and his daughter because they made noise at night. We cut back to his place and his little girl has got a broom and she's like, I wonder what's in that Nike box at the back of the top shelf of the closet. This is 1987. She really wanted that early Jordan pair right there was me. Yeah, right.

Exactly. Exactly. Now look, I, of course, a shoe box is an unacceptable place for a loaded gun, especially if you have kids in your house, but it's determined is this kid is to get it. I feel like she'd have cracked his gun safe if he had one right. She'd been in a little fucking stethoscope or something like that. Yeah. This was going to happen. Yeah, she's ready to do a full ocean to the left and style. Yeah. I don't get to this good.

Yeah. Okay. But to be clear, these people are unrelated to any of the main characters. It's just like another little vignette that's got like I thought genuinely a helicopter was going to like smash through the roof and like pull the kid away from the gun or something out of the, she'd fall through the ice in the bedroom and like go into the basement. I don't know. Something weird was going to happen with emergency services, but no. No. And she does get the gun because she takes the gun out.

And then she's like spinning the barrel. She's like, oh, I'm immediately doing Russian roulette. Yeah, this kid has played Russian roulette before. I really wanted us to flash to her now and flash back next. Sometimes we play the Russian roulette in there. She's sitting across the walker walking. Two sewets. She's like, wow, bold. So two. So then we cut to we cut to Rob and Michael, the friends that are putting together the kit car. They're talking about Kelly's fish. Kelly's fish getting along.

Yes. Is the question. How do you get along badly with the fish? Yeah, another fish thing. So I'm a total asshole. It's really awkward. It's so uncomfortable in that room. Oh my God. Yeah. So yeah, but Rob, he's not taking the fish very seriously at all. And so Michael's like, hey, I got to run out to the car to grab something. So we're going to the kit car. There's this Christian music playing in the background that I didn't realize was supposed to be diogetic, right? Oh, right.

Yeah. But that ends. And apparently like this a theist Rob was just listening to some fucking worship music on the radio. Yeah. He's listening to religious propaganda FM, AKA all American radio. Yeah. Well, right. Yeah. And you Josie. Yeah. But the sewing ends and the radio comes on. The guy starts evangelizing and Rob turns it off. He's like, oh, fuck this guy. Michael comes back and he's like, why did you turn that off? And Rob's like, cause your religion sucks and I hate it.

Yeah. I fucking hate it. Either that telling me I'm going to hell or they just want all my money. It's like, no, it can be both. It doesn't have to be another. It can be really. And then he follows up Rob, he follows it with, and you know what? Really bothers me. And I thought, is it all the child fucking? It should probably be all the child fucking. No, all the child fucking. Yeah, it's not. Yeah. He's like, how do they, what really bothers me is how do they know that they're right?

And Michael's like, well, it says so in the Bible. And because this is a Christian movie, Rob doesn't point out that the Bible says the Bible is correct. Isn't a valid argument, right? He's like, hmm, yeah, no, that's a good point. It does say so in the Bible. And then he starts, he says, well, is this being born against stuff in the Bible? And he's like, sure, it's in, um, um, and this is when Michael realizes that, yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah, Michael realizes maybe he hasn't read the Bible enough. Maybe it's time for him to hit the books again. He gives a chapter in verse. He does sign to chapter verse. And then Rob is like, is it though? He's like, no, no. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, he's like, it's in Matthew and he goes, is it? He goes, is it John? Hey, man, have you read the Bible? And he's like, fuck, no. Can we cut my character keeps losing? Why is that? Smash cut. Smash cut. Smash cut.

Yeah. The character continues to lose the movie to himself for the rest of the movie. It's the greatest. It's great. It's great. What's so fun about this movie is that the movie doesn't know that Michael is a pathetic loser. That's why I love this movie. It gets so much worse. First we got to, we cut to him in his sweet trans and pulling up at the life flight center. God. Okay. Another failure. He parks so fucking badly. He put eight percent into a spot. It's not even parallel parking.

It's just like a parking lot parking. It's an angle parking. Yeah. It's the easiest possible parking and he parks like a fucking jackass. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Ridiculous. I had to stop for a second. I was furious. And then he gets out of the car and he's like, Hey, Kelly. He sees her a few cars over. Hey, Kelly, Kelly. And he walks up to her and he's like, how's your subplot doing? Yes. Yeah. How's it going with that thing you're doing?

That's just what I've wrote about Michael is he just seems to in every scene ask of the characters the most perfunctory and straightforward and obvious questions imaginable. Is it? Oh, how's the kickoff? How's the fish? This time, it's like, how's it going with that thing that you're doing? So it's a classic Michael move for this film to do that. Yeah. Isn't it? And she's like bad and starts to say and then he's like, so anyway in my subplot, I wanted to tell you about that.

Yeah. I can't get Rob to stop being an atheist. I'm trying to. And then Kelly gives what I thought was going to be good advice for a second. She's like, well, maybe you were being like a pushy asshole. And then there's a boss and she's like, no, just getting, just getting see if, see if God has any advice about how to be different. I push the ass hole the right way in the perfect way. Yeah. Right. She goes, well, you know, Rob sure is asking tough questions.

She's like, well, at least he's asking questions. I so wanted his questions to be with the fuck are you talking about? And this is tough. They weren't. They weren't tough questions. The questions were actually wearing your book. Does it say the term born again? Yes. I've got nothing. Right. Right. So then we get possibly my favorite scene in the whole fucking movie. So Michael goes in to check on Eric again. And he's talking to the unconscious guy.

He's pouring his heart out about trying to evangelize to Rob. And what we're getting here is that scene from Moon Knight where he's like pouring his heart out to the living statue, except that the movie doesn't realize Michael is a sad fucking loser. Right. He's no one to talk to in his life. So he has to go bother this fucking unconscious coma toast guy all the time.

Yeah. And I really wanted to start with his conversation with the guy in a coma being like to be something like, Hey, how's the coma working out for you? How are you? Go away. And I wanted it to end with like, Hey, shut the fuck up. You're ruining my coma. Stop. Yes. Right. He actually, he hear, oh God. Can you imagine being in a coma around this asshole? Yeah. So yeah. And I'm like, you want to fuck Rob, though, right? That's what this is about.

They seemed like a gay couple when the kid car thing was getting introduced early on. And they like, it seemed like a fun gay couple. One has a mustache, hopped collars. He says to the coma toast kid, did you ever have a friend? You really loved and you just wanted everyone to meet him. He's talking about Jesus at this moment. Like this movie was more self aware of this scene would end with Michael hanging himself in the bathroom. Oh, 100%.

And it could not sound more like he does not care for his earth friends. But no one you got a friend that you really love. I want my other friends to meet that one friend that I really love. Yeah. So, okay. So, but then Michael shows up to bother Rob about Jesus at work, right? And the scene, it opens as though Michael is trying to work up the guts to ask him out, right? He's like, so you know, if you've had your dick, so you probably know how to suck dick better.

But he has, he's like talking religion and Rob hits him again with the, okay, so what's the point of praying to an all knowing God question, right? This movie is going to take a second swing at this. Yeah. Michael starts out, it goes, did you ever have a director set as a kid? Yes. Yeah. And the answer is like, yes, sometimes in the morning, when I really needed to pee, but I'm going to have actors. He goes, he's like, yeah, I had a director set.

He says, did you ever have trouble putting something together in and Rob swarves? I love this. He goes, no, never. I was the best. I was always perfect. And Michael, it's, this is scripted. This was not an ad lib. He's just like, no. And then Michael has to be like, are you sure? Yeah. I have a different answer to the question I asked that lets the rest, the dialogue, including this that we all wrote and agreed to do. Go on.

Yes, he goes, he goes, okay, well, I guess sometimes I had trouble and I would just have to ask my dad is that you'd have to ask your dad, right? And I'm like, but his dad isn't all knowing that's irrelevant. Yeah. And his dad was also that actual great. Well, yes, great. Reach out and see and touch him. Yeah. My dad didn't go away for cigarettes 2,000 years ago.

So, but yeah, but what they're trying to say here is, well, you know, God knows and God can help you and he knows what you need, but he's waiting for you to ask so that you can learn how to do things on your own. But that ignores the fact that he would also know how long it's going to take for you to ask and whether or not you're going to learn to do it on your own, right? That's that's part of being all knowing guys. But yeah.

And then he's like, well, can you tell me where it says that in your Bible? And Michael's like, God, give me a, come on. I just had to look up a thing for you. And again, the movie is trying to say, well, you know, make sure you've got your Bible memorized because otherwise you won't be able to evangelize. But the way this plays is like Rob figured out that was a good way to shut him up, right? If you say, where's it? Where's that in the Bible?

Then he doesn't talk about Jesus for two days while he's looking that shit up. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So far, I'm loving Rob. So then we cut to CJ and he's looking at this tiny little helicopter. Yeah. And that's the thing. This movie is so varied because like sometimes the astounding shots are of a slightly smaller helicopter. So there's range. There is range. Three different helicopters that we get established shots up. And so apparently this is a tour helicopter, right?

And CJ is like, stand in there trying to work up the guts to get back in a helicopter again. Yeah. And he takes out his cross metal for a second, right? And look sad. And he's right around with him. Yeah. Which is important. Spins it. And then it goes down at a certain point. Yeah. We're still going to do it, too. And then at one point, there's like half a second of a flashback to him flying again. And then it goes away again.

And then we watch him like strain to get it, but like to get the flashback back. Like he lost a sneeze and he needs to learn the lessons. Yes. But he can't get it. The movie won't give it to him. And it's so good. Because like I really, we've had so many flashbacks at the point. I really want to just one of these flashbacks to be back to a time where he had to shoot his wife in the head while she's burning at the stake. And that's because Michael flatly has ruined flashbacks.

Right. Yeah. There is a flashback of that. And then it's not worth having a flashback. This is a reference to a previous film, guys. Blackbird is the name of the film. But I may have watched twice while we were doing it. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I've ever seen so good. It's amazing. I just, it's such a weird thing for you to say without me making that clear. I just wanted to, you know, the occasional listener probably needs to know.

Why you wanted this guy to shoot his wife in the head while she was on fire. So okay. So CJ gets home. I feel like out of context. You're saying Michael flatly and people are like, yeah, that probably. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So but CJ goes home and there's this weird. I have no idea what's going on. It's like he's dropping things left and right as though he, he's got a poltergeist as he walks up, right? He, he, he goes to hang up his jacket and it falls.

And at first we're all just like, oh, this stupid fucking movie just didn't do another take. And he knocks over the mail and he opens the fridge and the ketchup falls out and breaks. Yeah. And at no point does anybody like try and pick those up and I wrote, is this Eli's house or something? Yeah. Right.

So he, and then he just starts reading the fucking paper Linda gets home his wife and she sees the fucking Tasmanian devil trail of destruction that he's left in his wake and she's like, what the fuck man? Hey, honey, you, you're doing infomercials again and not cleaning up at all after each thing you dropped crazily. It's there. He's like, I'm no the mood. Does there have to be a better way? And this, okay, this was crazy to me. She's like, oh, you're not in the mood.

Okay. Okay, you're not going to clean up the mess. How about this pillow fight for cleaning up the mess whoever wins the pillow fight doesn't have to clean up the mess. And I was like, no, no, no, he just made the mess. Yeah, right. Why would you give him a name? It's to a game now where he might win.

No. Right. Yeah. And then, sadly, as she destroys his ass in this pillow fight, like maybe that's just like, you know, like me challenging my wife to arm wrestling to see who has to clean it up or something like that, you know? Oh, that's fair. Because like they chase all around the house, the music thinks they've become like a 1960s exploitation, the sex comedy. Yeah, which in fairness, it's not far off.

At one point, she runs downstairs and she's like picking up pillows and things and she's arranging them and she's getting into a, like, a good height in place. And he was just chasing her a second goal. It takes him so long to follow her downstairs, but I just hoped he was having like yet another flashback to stalking the Viet Cong through the children's of them. And that's why I was taking him solo. Okay. I wanted her to win the pillow fights so hard that would have been perfect. She jumps out.

She's dressed like Viet Cong. Almost over the bunch of pillows. Well, but this is the second indication that we've gotten in this movie that she is secretly night crawls. She can't teleport. She just teleported way ahead. Yeah. So okay. And then we cut to Michael bothering hold on. I have a question about the end of this pillow fight before. Oh, sure. Yeah. So she gets him at some point, like through the window, I think she like flows through the window and hits him. Great shot.

Is that a win of a bill? What is the win condition of a pillow fight? I don't even know what I think you have to knock him unconscious, right? Either you knock him unconscious or you break your pillow on them. I think that's just like MMA. It's like tap out or TKL or something. Exactly. Right. Right. I did. All right. Good answer. In my head, it was I'm just thinking like it'd be a sex thing happens and then somebody both you both win the pillow fight. Maybe you think that about every game.

So that's why we love playing code. He's so cold. He's so awkward. But John party was a lot of fun for everybody. I thought. Yeah, I was. I propose nothing. So okay. So we cut to Michael bothering coma Eric some more. He's he's telling Eric about earlier in the movie. He starts fucking flashing back to him again. We're in her doodly do now. This guy is talking to Eric and flashing back to him, studying the Bible as he does. Yes. Fucking nuts. Like studying like two Bibles at once.

Like he's Rick Wicke with playing keyboard. Yes. If I do two, that's it. This me much much quicker. I do that. He's reading one Bible with his left eye. A little hunting math Bible stuff different Bible with right eye. Yeah, exactly around. Yeah. So and then we we cut to Rob. He's at home. He checks on Kelly's fish and damn it if two of them aren't dead. And like these fish, these fucking fish.

I wrote in my notes the only way these fish are going to tie into this movie is if the little girl with a gun shoots one of them. Otherwise all of this is useless to me. So yeah, so he's like, oh, fuck, the fish have died. I know what to do. I'll put him on a low broil in saltwater and they'll come back to life. Okay. His mom apparently used to do that. Is that a thing? I don't hot saltwater healing a fish that's not in saltwater. It can't possibly be true.

He's basically trying to brine these fish. Yes. I'm not going to say it's like to preserve them for what? Yeah. Right. Exactly. I'm like, dude, also those fish are dead, right? Unless you've got a fucking Frankenstein machine upstairs, you're fucked. But yeah, it's not working. What would dad do? I'm going to rub some dirt in the fish. See how that goes? Yeah, there you go. What?

So he does this and then he gets a phone call and he goes to turn the burner up when he accidentally turns it to high. And then we have this moment where he's trying to get off the phone while her fish boil to death. While the music you think this is absolutely hilarious. Yes. Yes. And at one point, he's like, oh, he sees that dead and he goes, wow. Yeah, there's a Yakiti Shmagiti do the whole fucking time. Yeah. That's. It's okay.

And then we cut straight to the Yakiti Shmagiti do to a little girl staring down the barrel of a fucking handgun. Nice. It is such a mood transition. It is so rough. Oh, I love it. I absolutely love it. So I have this kid just been carrying a gun around the household as well. Yeah. The holster tricks with it spinning on her finger or whatever. Now, and also this is the first time that I pointed this out, but the writer and director of this movie is Donald W Thompson.

He's the same guy that did the thief in the night trilogy or what, trilogy, I guess eventually. So I wrote my notes at this point. By the way, if you think that this writer director won't have this kid shoot herself in the face on camera, that's because you don't know the work of Donald W Thompson. I was certain the whole time. Every time she pulled out that guy, I'm like, he's going to make me watch this kid shoot

yourself in the face isn't he's not, but like no, we get close. Well, especially because like at this point she picks up her doll and that the doll doesn't have a head and I'm like, what kind of arm in a shitter? We're setting up here. Also, she puts the gun in the toy box and then calls the mom in. And it's like, has she baited the toy box so the mom will get shot? I think that's what they were doing. She's laid a trap. I think they were like

giving us tension because that like that might happen. Yes. Right. But it felt deliberate. It didn't feel like tension like, oh, this kid doesn't know what she's doing. It felt like this kid was laying a trap. Like she's a, a serial killer in waiting. Well, we're going to get, we'll get back to that at the end of the scene. Yeah. So, okay. So now we, we cut to C.J. tries to take the helicopter ride. He gets like eight feet up and he's like,

no, that's not for me from the helicopter. Sorry. Yeah. I feel like you don't go straight to that. You do a little CBT, maybe or something straight to flying. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it feels like that isn't one of those you have to face your fears kind of deals. Like, right. Just not being helicopter. I'm free. I'm not in a helicopter. And I'm fine. I don't have to face my fear of it. And, and let's point out here that like this character

was never a helicopter pilot. Right. He was riding in a helicopter. This is his fear of riding in a helicopter. So like, you know, if you were a helicopter pilot, you had a lot invested in that ability. This might matter more, but no. Yeah. And he's just like, okay. I had another flashback. Take us, take us back down. This is a bad idea. In cancel, I, I hired the extra guy to do the therapeutic dog fight with us. Cancel that guy to radio

him. We don't want to do this. Go back down. So then we, we cut to Rob. He's watching a televanjalist. So maybe Michael is getting through to him after all. If we see Michael studying now, four different Bibles, I think it is. And then we cut back to gun, baby. It's late that night. She wakes up middle of the night. She looks in her toy box. She says, do I want my terrifying clown doll? Nah. I'll take my six shooter instead. I would rather

my child had that loaded gun than that doll. Like the white gun is going to do a lot less psychological damage to her, no matter what she does with it, then that clown possibly could. Yeah. So she sits down for another game of Russian roulette and she calls to her mom that she wants to drink a water. Now, the movie is setting up an accident, right?

There's going to be an accident here. But the way that this plays for it, it grew out from here to the credits is that this little girl was ambushing her mom and this was the plan all along. Yeah. It feels like she's trying to lure the mom into the room so she can stand her ground. That feels like it's happening. Yes. We even see her like checking the sights and shit. Yeah. The kid wants time to do that. It's like they're building

intention mom's pouring water very, very slowly in the kitchen. All the kids like spinning the thing, doing the sight stuff in the other room. And so mom's pouring and there's a blender on the counter. I thought she was going to blend the water to build the. So we know she finally goes in and gunshot. Yeah. Bam. Dead mom. Yeah. We don't we don't see anything except for we just hear a gunshot. And then we cut to an ambulance kicking into high gear, revving up the lights and sirens.

Right. They'll need a helicopter stat or actually eventually because it's foggy today. So yeah. And also they don't need a helicopter. There's literally ambulance right there. That ambulance should just take her to the hospital and then the hospital will deal with it. It doesn't feel like you get an ambulance first and then ambulance takes you to a helicopter that'll take you to the hospital. Do they live on like an oil rig out in the ocean or something? You're fine. Yeah. Just

get it in there and like the burbs. Well, no. So the so the reason that they use life light helicopters is because you can get to a hospital way. The fuck quicker if you don't have to drive right? If a helicopter can go 120 miles an hour in a straight line. Okay, but this mom deserves to get, you know, dead for having that gun. Like this is

bad parenting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. So yeah. But the weather's too bad for the helicopter to go out so they're in the ambulance and then the ambulance breaks down. Oh my God. I could not stop laughing. They show us that the ambulance needs an oil change. Like we could not stop laughing. I feel like they meant to maintain those things just in case. You do it a bit of extra maintenance on an ambulance. Then you would just your

regular car because no one dies if your car breaks. Right. Right. Well, it depends on when. But yes. Yeah. So they pull over. They're like, we're going to need the spare ambulance. So they send out a second ambulance. They trade her off like a fucking relay race. And then they're like, you know what we need is a third ambulance. It's so good. There's now a third ambulance and a helicopter on the way to a broken down ambulance and

a broken down ambulance. I could not stop laughing. I don't it's like they get in one more vehicle. They go to Barbie land at the end. It's like, what the fuck is happening? So and now this third ambulance, that's the one that CJ drives, right? So they all get to this parking lot. The fog lifts trust us. It's very dramatic. It's last second fog lifting edge of your seat. Shit. But the fog lifts so they can send the helicopter out.

So they all meet in this parking lot. And as they load the shot mom on Kelly turns to CJ and she says, I need you to fly with me. CJ guy who's terrified of helicopters. But like there are fucking three ambulances worth the EMTs. All of them except CJ aren't mortified of helicopters. Yes. Really fucked up that she asked him to. We've also got some paramedics in a broken down ambulance. So they are useless. They could probably they could probably

do with a lift. They simply. Yeah. But he's going to do it mostly off camera, right? Because we cut immediately. And he'm going like, yeah, to the helicopter landing. Yeah. Well, he does all the like old cop movie tropes of like they pull me back. I'm too old for this war. I never fly again. Yeah. And he gets an helicopter. I want to like, I wonder if there be an Asian American EMT in the chopper any pan. So yeah, we hit to

the hospital right? We see him landing and they're taking the patient out. And I wanted to cut back into CJ just hyperventilating on the floor of the helicopter. But no, he's fine. No, we just we just cut to it all being over. Like, oh, we've got to the hospital. Then it's all done. Like everything, the only possible events of interest in this entire movie consistently happen off camera. Yes. Everything we just see the whole logistics that happened

around the interesting. Absolutely. Right. Like to the point where if this is so slobbly done that we have to cut immediately to a new scene where Linda is the end of the day. And Linda is congratulating CJ. She goes, you did it. Yeah. Because you wouldn't know what the life is. Right. Because that's the only way we as the audience know that it got did. Yes. She goes, I'm Kelly. By the way, not Linda. That your wife, your CJ, you

did it. And she's also like, Hey, that was a super cool mysterious way from God. Right? So you have no lady good shots. So you could. Yes. Become a pilot again. Like the movie actually says that. This isn't me joking. Yeah. That's a point they're making here. The woman got shot just so this guy could get over his full beer of a thing that he otherwise would never again encounter because I've never encountered it. Yeah. Right.

Well, so it and the lady like she tries to have her cake and eat it too, right? She's like, it's really cool. How God worked that out? I mean, God obviously didn't have that lady shot just so that you could overcome your fears. But and then like, but what? And they're like smash, smash cut, but it's, but it's not waiting. Yeah. But we should have more gun control because I know that's not the answer. According to right. Right. All right.

Well, the movie assures us that that was very dramatic and act break worthy. So we're going to pause there. But first, let me give act three, the hard sell will CJ overcome his fear of Oh, shit. No, never mind. We already pulled the trigger on that one. Will the little girl with the gun? Well, fuck, we literally pulled the trigger on that one. Yes. We'll rob, discover God's, well, fuck, he was watching a televangelist last time. We

so, Jay, I don't fucking know stick around anyway. I guess for the, yeah, but something has to happen. Conclusion of life, white. Just be real invested in those fish. That's all we're warning, Rita. You can be really invested in those fish cliffhangers. This episode is brought to you by better help. And that's why I'm doing the upside down flag. What? That, that's why I'm doing the upside down. No, I heard you. I'm just curious why you started

talking mid thought like you were in a cold open or something. Did I not say the beginning of that thought? You did not know. No way. Just skipped it. Weird. So yeah, I'm furious about the upcoming election. Every time I go on social media, people who are supposed to be on the good team are talking about how they're not going to vote because they're not excited enough about Joe Biden or the Democrats in general or something like that.

So I'm thinking I'll just be a Republican now. I'm a, say, is that white guy? No, you are. I'll be fine. I'm thinking we just burn it all down and elect Trump. You know, accelerationism. No. So that's a terrible idea. It's just wildly unethical. Have you considered trying better help? Yeah. That is wildly unethical to do anything with acceleration ism. What's better help? It's a great place to find a therapist online and it sounds like

that might be good for you. Therapy's not just for major trauma. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and learning how to set healthy boundaries. So considering the social internet is where intelligent discourse goes to die, you might want a set of boundary that limits your exposure to that. And you might want to cope with your frustration in a way that's healthier than becoming a Republican. For example, pretty much all the other ways.

Sure. Maybe set some achievable goals for the next several months about helping some good candidates win their election in November. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. How do I sign up? Well, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online and it's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist

at any time for no additional charge. Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash awful today and get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash awful. All right. It sounds good. But I'm thinking of leaving the flag up. Maybe the allitos will think we're in distress. You know, stop by the help. And that's what we'll do once they come inside. Sorry. What? No, it's a cold close. Got it. Smart. Hey, God, you

wanted to see me? Yeah. Yeah. Come on in. So I'm trying to get a better health care system going in America. Oh, finally. So you want me to set up socialized medicine? What? No, no, every time that no, I'm going to make a retired helicopter pilot in Iowa. Get back in the game. Okay. So just one little piece of the health care system. Yeah. I'm doing attainable goals, tiny changes, remarkable results. Okay. Did you read atomic habits, the

self-help book? No, no. Okay. I feel like you did. Nope. Did not. I don't know what that is. Okay. Well, you just said the subtitle, tiny changes from Mark. We're doing the one thing that I said just now in Iowa in Iowa. Okay. Fine. So who's the pilot? Yeah. Okay. So it's the SkyNames CJ at a hospital in Des Moines, Iowa. Okay. So do you remember how I did the cold war? I do remember that you made me do it, actually.

Right. Yeah. Right. And it led to Vietnam. Yeah. I was teaching an atheist guy in Cambodia a lesson. Paul Pot was a reason for that. Yeah. No, I know it would, it would very badly. Christians use that during debates. Yep. Yep. Atheism inspired genocide, man. Nailed it. So what am I doing with this pilot then? Well, yeah. He's got PTSD from Vietnam. I did, I did not see that coming. Unintended consequence of that thing I did. So he's afraid

to fly again. I need an emergency that's going to make him jump back into action in Iowa. Okay. How about like a stranded boat on a lake? Right. We do a little storm. I was thinking a little girl that's shot with a gun by her mom. Do what? That's insane. Okay. Fine. Fine. The kid shoots the mom with a gun. Oh, he said that is not the point I was making. I feel like we don't need a gun. The kid at all shoots the mom. I already wrote it down

on my vision pad. We're doing that. You totally read that book. You did. You read it. Don't make a little girl shoot her mom in the face. Yeah. Got it. I'm God. I know. And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action at Rob's place where he's realizing that he's forgotten to feed Kelly's fish for apparently days on end because they've died of starvation. He boiled to it. Now we killed two more by starving them.

Yeah. This is a fucking horror movie. Have you liked fish? Right? Oh, 100%. Typical atheist never feeding the fish. That's a universal law. Feed them. He's like, I'm a rogue. This is what happens. Yeah. I always do it at my own way. Also, this not only did we have the standard room here to deal with. We also had the fucking seriously loud pump on the fish tank. And the combination too was so loud. It scared my cat. Mildred and she left the room.

When the scene came on, she thought, no, fuck that. So yeah. So then we cut the break room at work. CJ is telling Kelly that God really wants him to work with life. Light. God, these people are insufferable. But Kelly, this is such a weird. Because this is just like they're cold open, right? Kelly just goes like, but do you ever wonder if God really

is concerned about our problems? And then Rob sits down and changes the conversation. And I'm like, holy shit, Kelly was going to lose her faith if Rob hadn't sat down just now. Rob, go back out. Let this happen. Let's. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Exactly. See how this comes. A lot of fuck stuff that Kelly's missing out on is all I'm saying. Yeah. So but then they chat about fucking the office politics subplot more about whether they can afford for there to be three people

on the life flight helicopter instead of two. Right. It's so boring. It is so boring. Yeah. But this is where CJ introduces the metal to the, well, I guess not introduces, but he introduces it to these characters, right? In the in the doodly do. And Rob identifies it on the side. He's a media. He's like, oh, yeah. Multi's cross. Yeah. I always want to one of the, he said he's been trying to get his hands on a metal like that for years.

Yeah. Why? So I just need have to go on like do something heroic in battle to get. I'll just mean he's trying to solve like a choir. Yeah. Great. No. Yeah. Have any fun facts about the multi's cross? I do. Who said that? Yes. I do have fun facts. And he lists off. It's like an 11th century metal for like the first medics in war or something like that. Right? So it's, well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what I love so much about this is like,

fucking CJ is like, let me show you guys my most prized possession. And Rob's like, oh, I have fun facts. I'll give you a hundred and six bucks for it. Right? He does. Want what? He's like, I'm a Vietnam. What? No. I'm not. Yes. That's you. But I will tell you a story. And then CJ is like, I was an atheist once. But then something happened in Vietnam. Doodly do. Right. Yes. Something happened in the second half of my Vietnam flashback. Yeah.

What now would be like? Now would be like. Yeah. And it's a time that he was rescuing a guy who's whizzed, called got wet and really clingy. Yeah. So clingy. It's going to change. It's so bad. Rescue me. So yeah. So, but we cut to like right after the helicopter crash. I love this so much. The first half is right up to it. But we stopped right before. And then the second half is right after, but we don't see it. Right? So it's after the helicopter crash.

Trust us. It was very fiery and distressing. And the injured guy has lost the injured guy that they were picking up in the helicopter has lost his multi's cross. Right? And he's begging CJ to go back work. Because it's really important. CJ's like, no, that's nothing. No, you need it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing that. No. Right. Well, and and and CJ is kind of like trying to go like, well, dude, you're not going to live long enough. You know, no, you know,

what? I'll go back. I'll get your bubble. I'll get your bubble. Just puts his hands over the guy's mouth. Yeah. The guy even says, you know, if I don't make it, I want you to have it. But he could just not go and get it because he doesn't want to anyway. He didn't want to be. Exactly. He didn't want to risk his life for it. If you do die, then we're all fine. Oh, no. When you die, I'll totally go get it. I'll grab it from where is it point to point it? Oh, you can't. You're

dying. Yeah. Right. Right. Exactly. No. It's over there. Yes. Oh, so we hold my hand over. Are there any VCs in the bushes to shoot this guy? This is exhausting. Yeah. Well, yeah. So so he goes to get it. And well, he's off getting it. Some Vietcong guys come up and shoot this dude to death. They shoot the injured guy to death in the most bold fashion. Imagine there's a guy. Bang. He's dead. What's next? Yeah. Right. Right. And what I love here is

the movie is trying to say this was God's way of saving CJ, right? If he had been there with injured guy, they would have shot and killed him too. But he was away getting the multi-cross. But like, yeah, but if CJ was there, like CJ was an injured and had a gun, right? Like, like, maybe they both live. Maybe Danny lives too. Yeah. And if Vietnam doesn't happen, then the world's also different. There's so many things that God could control to change this world. Whatever.

Yes. Exactly. That's where you start arguing. You have to do all these other things. Right. So he says, you know, and that's the day I realized that there was a God and he really wasn't fond of Danny. And he's talking to a like a chap and something like that. I think at one point, I think that's kind of that's what's happened here. And the chap and says, you know, I'm sure it's something like I don't keep this as a good look charm. That's what he says. CJ says,

oh, I don't keep this as a good look charm. It's like, yeah, because like keeping the dead guys metal as a good look charm would be pretty sensitive. Yes. But that's how CJ gets converted to Christianity, right? This chaplain after this incident tells them, you know, the good news about Jesus or whatever. And he asked them a few questions in the chaplain basically says like, yeah, don't don't think about God's plan because that fucks my thing out. The plan is the plan. Just

fucking do it. And so he does it. CJ's a Christian now. Yeah. Well, and then so CJ after he finishes telling the story, he gives Kelly the cross what a dick move. Roll pit just said he spent years trying to get a metal like this. He was going to buy it and see he's like, no, no, I wouldn't pump with that. Kelly, do you want it by any chance? Yes, exactly. That's amazing. It's like such a good fuck you. He's like, no, she shares my religion. So I'm going to give it to her instead.

Also bear my all of this. Like she was doodly doing right from the very start when you took the metal out in the helicopter, doodly doing as to how she got the metal. Yes. And the really interesting story is, oh, God gave it to me. She, yes. God, it is a gift because somebody wanted to spite an atheist sitting next to her. Yeah. That's the totem for the movie. So, okay. So then we cut back to Linda's office so that Kelly can argue with her more about funding more people

for life. This is the second time the movie will pass the backdeltest. Yeah. She's, she's given Linda a proposal about what to do. And the proposal is we use people that we know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, instead of hiring new people, we just reappropriated existing ones. Yeah. And Linda's like, I don't think that's going to work. And Kelly's like, we're talking about lives. And Linda's like, I fucking fund a hospital. I'm always, that's all that's what we do.

Right? Like that's, that's a dumb thing that you just said. Okay. Hold on. Maybe if God has a kid shoot another, it'll get us that. That was helpful earlier. Yeah. Right. Well, maybe that's what God had in mind, right? Because just then life like gets a call about a car accident and she has to run off. Now, again, all of the interesting stuff happens off screen, right? We just cut to the helicopter taking off at an accident scene, right? And they're flying back to that to the hospital.

Kelly's doing everything she can. Rob says from the pilot. She's like, is there anything I can do? And Kelly says, yes. Right. Right. She's also like, but I'm going to do CPR because that's like a real thing. Right. Yes. There anything useful I can do is what I meant. I mean, she's going to do CPR. Or it literally almost exactly half speed. She's doing incredibly slow CPR. She hasn't even taken the tube out of the guy's mouth to then breathe into his mouth. So this is awful CPR. Yeah.

Yeah. You're supposed to do a stay in a live by the Bee Gees, right? That's like the yeah. And she's not doing that. I sang that song over her chest compressions and she was doing it every other thing. Oh, well, that shitty Christian bandit or church did like a ballad cover of stuff. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Like a Christmas ad. Like the cover on a Christmas ad for like a mole. Listen to that. Yeah. Yeah. But they get to the hospital, but it's too late. The person

doesn't make it. CJ sees them. He sees the helicopter landing. And he wishes that he was out their life, fighting with him. But then he flashes back to Vietnam a little bit and he's like, oh, actually, no, I don't, I don't wish that. Yeah. He sees a flashback that we've already seen before. So we don't linger on it. So you know that one. Yeah. It's that thing. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It was the go for it moment that he flashes back to here. He's remembering

all of that. Oh, yeah. Interesting. Yeah. And then going it going. Yeah. But this is where they established that the the guy didn't live the guy in the car accident didn't live because she was all alone and they couldn't do two people stuff to save them, right? The doctors at the ER going, well, did you do this? Did you do that? She's like, no, because there was only one of me and we couldn't do that. And then like everybody looks at Linda like, oh, so you really basically killed

this kid then. Hold on, Kelly, weren't you with Jesus too? He didn't help with no right? Or didn't he carry you across the sand? Yeah. But then we fucking we flash back within the doodly to within the flashback to Kelly learning Jesus stuff from a pastor who isn't CJ, but wait, that's not like that. I shoot that isn't CJ. I thought that was CJ. I was certain it was CJ. I'm pretty sure that's a different actor. It's a different white guy from 1987 that actually looks

like from 1978 because it's a Christian movie and that's how it works. Yeah. Just hire one black guy. I begging you hire one black guy. Yeah. I'm telling you and that I was watching this movie from 1987 and I'm talking about how they look and she's like, oh, did they look like they're from 1978 because Christopher movies are that far behind. I was like, they didn't actually. Yeah, they all know every fucking one of them. But this is where Kelly realizes that the problem is she's

been asking Linda for help getting all of this funding. She hasn't been asking Jesus. There's this great moment to her. Rob is like, hey, what are you thinking about? She's like, my favorite Bible verse and he's like, oh my God. No, shut. I don't care. I'm keeping my penny. Keeping my penny. Also, she's doing that while Rob is like cleaning the outside of the

helicopter by hand with a little cloth. And she's just sat in it like reminiscing about the Bible classes she went to and she was at school like pick up a cloth and help. Come on. I was swishing a flashback of a doodling. I'll give it. It's really. It's really it's really in a flashback. So this is very difficult for me to do. I have to keep a lot of a lot of strands in the old dude's head. But she's like, don't you want to know my favorite Bible

version? She's like, yes, fine. I have to tell you later that I killed your fish. So I guess I'll I'll let you Bible verse that me. And she tells Mr. One about where God says, don't try to know stuff because that'll fuck up our whole thing. The whole walk, not by sight or whatever. That's her favorite one. Yeah. Like the chaplain said too, which is like, don't think about this stuff. Right. We won't get you to be Christian anymore. But she believes that God's going to come through

with full staffing. So meanwhile, Michael is still pestering coma Eric about his plans to Christianize Rob. Yeah. And he sort of Michael spins around in this moment like he's kind of dude, like he's just finished his training or something. And I really want that to be like a Bible training montage. Like coma guy just passed out in the corner of a ring giving him tips like trying to tell him. Yeah. It really the scene plays like Michael is realizing that God is the

one he wanted to take to the prom the whole time, you know, or whatever. So and then he leaves. And we see a tear like a single tear running down Eric's cheek. Eric still coma toes in the mic. So good. The actor playing Eric is just weeping with laughter at how bad this yeah. Right. Right. Well, I'd be crying if I was in a coma and couldn't escape this asshole. Yeah. No, I get it. Yeah. And the point he makes Michael loses to himself again. So so hard here. He first,

he's like, so I was watching a Christian movie. That's how I got the those are amazing. By the way, wink, those lessons they give you. And he says, I admitted, he's talking to an unconscious person again to be clear. And he's like, I admitted, I'm a sinner. And it was great. And then he's like, long pause. None of my problems went away though. I had all my still the fuck was I talking about? Oh, you're unconscious. It's so good. Is this the time?

Is this around the time he says quote, the promises that apply to Christians don't apply to other people. And I wrote, yeah, I mean, at least a call to the Supreme Court. That's right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. He also says, you don't have to make a big production about accepting God. And that's like the big end of this moment that like the lesson we're supposed to learn. He says that with orchestral backing during a movie while giving a speech to a coma patient. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. So amazing. So then we cut to Robin Michael having lunch and somehow Rob is wearing the most popped collar that has ever been popped at this point. He's basically popping one of those 70s fucking disco porn collars or something. It's back to an inward collar. It's like in his shoulders. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So yeah, this is what he's like, so how are you getting along with the fish? Oh, shit. I've already asked that. I haven't like God. He's like, actually,

it turned out I've killed all of them. It's been a big pain in the ass. So anyway, so did you ever find those act three Bible answers that we've been building up to? Everybody's like, yes, I did. It took me so long. I didn't sleep for the last like three weeks. I did good. Well, I had to study four. I was at once. But yes, I found one thing that helps. Well, and what I love is that the movie admits he's like, yes, it was John Sushen such as they said,

they said to get into having you have to be born again. And he's like, okay, so where in the Bible doesn't say what that means. And he's like, man, that fucking damn it. Because it doesn't. Right. Like the movie has to admit that the Bible never explains what the fuck that phrase could possibly mean. And so Christians just made shit up. Right. And then he's like, all right, so did you ever figure out an answer to that? Like why pray to an omniscient being question other

than the stupid director set thing? And he's like, yes, I did. Prayer is our way of maintaining a relationship with God. And he's like that is in the thing. You just you just used to say that God is a needy partner in a God, the God of the universe, really? And Rob points out he's like, well, yeah, but that's that's still not biblical. You already gave me a bullshit answer. What about a biblical one? And he's like, oh, okay, let me say even more nonsensical nonsense words.

Yeah, he says something like nothing. He says that answers the question at point. No, it doesn't know. Something like prayer is the guarantee that the magic wishing gets through to God. But then again, Michael just shoots himself in the foot. He ends that by saying, well, assuming you wish for the stuff God already wanted you to have. Oh, that was a question in the first place. Fuck. And Rob's like, adds another really bad answer man. How would you say this is going for you?

Like your whole movie experience for you. What? Are you winning or? He is. They think he wins. So, okay, so then we get Kelly showing up for her fish, right? But he's bought new fake fish. And so she's like, wow, they look even healthier than when I left them. And younger too. That's a stripy. But he's like, yeah, no, I took such good care of your fish. They're smaller now. And then we cut to Kelly, like the next day, I guess in the hospital hallway. She's talking to

the movie's first person of color. Actually, she's talking to an African American nurse. And she's saying, like, yeah, you know, I would have been able to save that kid the other day. But Linda won't give me a second person. Shit, she's standing right behind me. Isn't she? And she turns around and says, Linda wouldn't give me a second person so that kid died is what I was saying. I think one of the things she says to the nurse is that she inflated the man's pants. I rewinded up the times.

All I could get was like, thank you. That's what that's what happened. That's not a standard part of CPR. I thought I was going crazy. That's part of, okay, maybe part of CPR. Interesting. It maybe maybe maybe part of like 1987 slash 78 CPR. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, well, we had tight pants. It was really tight pants. So, so but her lend in Kelly have it out in the hallway. She's like, well, you don't know for an absolute fact that I killed that boy. And Kelly's like, did you

hear it? Just now when you said that and she's like, but yeah, kind of. And then they get this fucking, I guess this movie thinks it's a reveal where Kelly says, Linda, I know the real reason you won't expand the life flight program is because you're afraid that it'll give the appearance of favoritism because your husband wants to join it. And that is the plot of the movie. I think yes. And the reason this was a reveal for me is that I had completely forgotten that

Linda was CJ's husband. So this work is a reveal to me that they were married. Oh, yeah, they're married. So Linda's just letting people dies to avoid seeing like she's giving her husband the voluntary role that he wants. So, and then Linda walks away. Kelly remembers the time that CJ gave for the metal, which is the time that yes, we are flashing back to earlier in the flashback in the doodly do. Seriously? Right. This is that's the worst it's ever going to get.

Right. Like so she does that. And then we back out all the way. We close all the parentheses and we're back out of the original doodly do right. They're going to they're helicoptering out to save the snowmobiles from the beginning of the movie. Just like title card infinity swoosh back the other whatever. Now now, don't be a dick. We have the matter. I guess the fucking snowmobiles are like, did you not have a shorter flashback lady? Jesus. Yeah, I want them to have drowned.

Like he's having too long a flashback. I'm sorry. They drowned. They kick her into the water and slow motion. Like inception. So they land the the chopper long enough to take the doors off of the chopper. See that did make sense eventually. Why? It does not make sense. It's great. Like take the door off. So they can dangle a rope out of the helicopter. But I feel like it could dangle a rope out of the window of the helicopter door. Oh, damn it. And if anything, we're open

the door. Yeah. Because then the people who are holding the rope on the other end can't be pulled out. That would be good. Dores famously open. That's like one of the two things. That's the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So then this is where like the snowmobiles take off their their helmets and it's Linda and CJ. And I wrote in my notes, or I genuinely can't tell white people apart. Yeah. It was it was too low resolution. I couldn't tell that it was meant to be them. It's

probably ages to realize that that was meant to be meaningful. That's funny. It's how luckily after 90 minutes thrashing around in the water, they were like, should we take our helmets and masks? Yeah. There's a girl. It's a mess. Oh, it's going to be so much easier to breathe. They'll be able to see that, you know, we're all friends. Oh, but it's it's so funny watching them fumble with the rope. Well, because they're all like infallately very inflated coats to keep

them up in the water. And they're trying to like as they're bobbing around, they're trying to grab hold of the rope, but they they use the entire footage of them trying and they miss several times. So we've been like two minutes of it like splash. Rob, Mr. Rob. Yeah. CJ, it's just like grab my hand, man. What are you doing? Just use your hand to grab my and he's just fumbling around. It was like another info, commercial thing for him. It just keeps missing. It's the best.

This thrown a rope over him like they're trying to play a carnival game at this point. Like, no, if I get if I get the CJ out of the world, right, get a cuddly toy. Right. Right. Well, but this is my favorite part of this movie because it doesn't realize how stupid it is, how it's proven the wrong point again. So what happens here is that they throw a rope out and they get Linda, they get the wife first and they drag her across the ice like they're trying to

fucking play with a cat, right? Like a giant cat. They drag her the far away. They drag her like yes, they deal to the other shore. They're 10 feet from the one shore. They drag it back to the hospital. It takes pretty much like a badge. Well, and then they go back to get CJ and I'm like, but they could have just both held on to the rope. That worked. Why would you? Because the helicopter could definitely carry one more person unless they were at their weight limit because Kelly kept

insisting on having another person in the fucking helicopter. In which case her dumb shit ruined every fucking thing, right? I just I love that moment so much because they had no idea. And I'm like, oh, if only there hadn't been only two people that is fucking helicopter. But they go back. He's too cold now. CJ's too cold to grab the rope. So Kelly has to just lean out and grab him and pull him across the ice. It's one of those stunts. It looks like it genuinely might have been

quite dangerous before, but in no way looks impressive, right? Which is the worst way of doing a stuntion of film. Absolutely. And but my favorite bit about this is that Kelly's like 130 pound woman. And CJ is like a 210 pound man. So she like tries to drag him out of the ice and she keeps dropping him over and I could not stop laughing here. He keeps sliding back into the icy water. Yeah, he's never see a kid go limp when he doesn't want to leave the toy store. It was like CJ.

Like so many times they finally get him. Oh, so amazing. Remember when Peter Griffin's trying to grab the dead frog and like put it into with the shoe box. Yeah, right. Right. Without touching a gram it. Slide it up the wall. All it all. Yeah. I kept laughing. It's so funny. But but ultimately they do manage to drag him safely across the ice. I wrote in my notes here. I'm like, what a hilariously suspenseless way to finish off the movie. And auto correct told me

suspense list wasn't a word. It underlined it and read and I'm like, motherfucker, you ain't watching the movie. I'm watching. I'll tell you what it's a word. What is it? So okay. So now we're back at the hospital. Kelly's about to go up in the elevator and who's in that elevator. But coma Eric, he's all woke up now. His plot line is over. She says higher. Like, hey, good, good coma buddy. You're going to sue the hospital because a guy was fucking proselytizing the whole time.

Right. Yeah. Because you should. Yeah. Right. Also, am I crazy? But does she step in the lift? Ask for the button to press the fifth floor and then just leaves. She walks in. She says to Eric and leaves. And then they're all gone. The fifth floor. They were trying to go down. They've all had to go. She's breaking her. She presses all the buttons. Dives. Right. Right. Yeah. So, but she's going to check on Linda and CJ. They have a hospital room together,

which is nice. Right. And Linda says, I love this line. She goes, I don't know quite how to say this Kelly, but thank you. Well, that was it. How the hell do you not know quite how to say that? Yeah. You nailed it. Thank you. Oh, oh, oh, the tank. I don't know. But yeah, but the boss comes in or the mid-level manager, the guy who sent her to Kelly earlier or to Linda earlier. He comes in and he says, Kelly, you're a hero. And she says, so does that mean we're going to get that extra

person on the life flight? Helicopters that I've been talking about this whole time. And she's in. He's like, yes, for reasons that are entirely unclear to anyone in the audience. Yes, this resolves that plot line. I just wanted to be like, no, no, why would it change that? Yeah, right. So if anything, you just endanger the guy from having to be people in the helicopter. Right. We're taking you out. We're just going to send a helicopter. We think an empty helicopter is

a trick. And she's like, good. So then there'll be room for CJ who could be in the life flight EMT thing after all. And CJ looks like pretty much directly at the camera and he goes, I knew God had big plans for me. And I'm like, well, medium plans. I mean, let's not get carried away here. Can we also just talk about what that solution is? Just to think of into some detail. But the crux of that solution is that paramedics, you know, EMTs typically work like a three day on four

days off shift pattern. So they can just be air EMTs on their four days off. Yes. So it's like our solution is to have them work three, 12 hour shifts plus in a row and then do another job on top of a dangerously work on medical stuff. Flying helicopters. Yeah. So yeah. So the point of this movie is that we really should have socialized medicine. So yeah. So but then Kelly goes to check on Rob who's spiffing up the helicopter, you know,

shining up for the night. She tells them the good news about their new staffing. And then this is where I guess he has a paying of conscience and tells her about the fish. Tells her like, hey, actually, I killed your fish. And she's like, yeah, they were a different color when I picked him up. I knew. I knew. Yeah. Thank fuck. We did not leave that hanging. I felt the

suspense of that. Oh, no, no, no fish tension the entire way. Right. But so and this is such a silly fucking point because she gives him like, well, you know, did you at least learn something here today? And he goes like, I did. I'm Christian now. And so I think that the movie was trying to tell us that the right way of Christianizing him wasn't to pastor him with the proselytizing, like Michael was doing, but to let him kill your fish like Kelly did.

He killed himself into really. Yeah. So many people have throughout the year. Right. Right. He goes, hey, do you think that God helped you pull CJ out of the ice the other day? And she goes, well, if he did, then he also put CJ in the ice like Heath was saying. So he was, wouldn't it? Oh, there's a great exchange as well. Because she says at one point, do you still? I think she said, do you want to know what I think? And doesn't he just go?

He says no. Again. Yes. I'm just making. He actually says I was just making conversation. Yes. Yeah. And finally, she goes to walk away and he goes, Kelly, what do you think I should do? And Kelly says for reasons that Heath understood and me and Marsh were in pirely baffled by she says, I'd go for it. She throws him the metal. Uh-huh. Me and Marsh right go for what? And the movie ends on a goddamn freeze frame.

Actual. It does freeze frame of like holding the mouth. He's crossing the hand. Freeze frame. Yes. But oh, God, go for it. Like, fuck, just do it. God. Nucky. Same thing. Yeah. So good. But no, it means though, even even though they had it set up as a thing, what does that mean in the moment? What is she saying? Right. What is the whole conversation means? Because I wrote, it's like, what shall I do? I wrote about what? Her answer, I'd go for it. I wrote go for what?

Yes. And none of those exchanges are making sense. Go for nothing. Yeah. I'd like to think that there's still freeze frame to there to this very day. So that's the end of the movie because luckily Christian movies had discovered after credit scenes yet. So Marsh, thanks for hanging out. They so much. Anything you want to plug while we've got you here? Yeah. Absolutely. So QED is coming up back in the

October. So a October 18th and 19th, I believe it is, or top of my head. It's going to be fantastic. QED is always great. Everybody who comes always says it's such a great time. You guys are coming. You've got a QED con to org to find out all the people who've announced so far. We're going to announce more speakers and panels and all sorts of stuff on top of that. So that's in Manchester in

the UK. If you can't get to Manchester UK, we will be live streaming the whole weekend. So the main stage and the panel room, it's like 45 pounds or not that much over $50 for an entire weekend of streaming. So even if you're not able to get to the UK, definitely check out the stream. It's well, well worth it. You can watch the stream for like a month after the event. So yeah, we're selling those tickets currently. Oh, that's awesome. All right. Well, that's going to do a

for a review of life. But that's not going to do it for the episode. You're sure because we still need to renew our contracts. So he tell us what's on deck. The book of Daniel. It's a movie about, I guess the book of Daniel from the Bible. Yeah, probably one of Bible books, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's one of them. So all right. Lions. Yeah. It's in lions there. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 461 to our most of all clothes.

Once again, a huge thanks to Mars for all his help today. Be sure to check the show notes for links to all his other shows and a perhaps even a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you'd like to catch yourself among their ranks, you can make a prep episode donation of patreon.com. So it's got off on there by your early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help it on by leaving a five star review

and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our siblings shows, the skating ideas, citation, DADD minus and the skeptic right available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, the sentiment suggestions you're going to email. God off a movies at gmail.com. Tim Robertson takes cover of social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slot,

and we've addressed on Mars. All the other music was written and performed by our audience and your Morgan Carcom was used in permission. Thanks again for giving us a check your life this week for Heathen, right? Neil Abbas, I think I'm no delicious province to work hard to earn another track next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Linda got up from her hospital bed, took a shit on CJ's bed, and immediately hit

him with a pillow because those are the rules and he has to clean it up now. Apparently, yep. CJ was quickly sacked from the air ambulance for insisting on playing ride to the valkyries at full volume during every callhouse. Why is sitting on your helmet? Kill the rabbit. Kelly, boiled Rob to death in saltwater to see how he liked. I kept the timing right, but my three was more aggressive, like vocals. So I hope that didn't throw anybody off. You'll fall disappeared for me. I just

I'll just test where the fall would be and I think I nailed it. All right. Yeah, it sounded like you were in sinks. Maybe it was so insane. Maybe I had the kind of the exact opposite sound waves. Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2024, all rights reserved.