457: Come Out in Jesus Name

As we look at the fetus, we hear this kid claiming victory over Satan in a voiceover. Now look, in the mythology of Christians, that's got to be weird for Satan, right? Like you're the fallen angel Lucifer and you're being called out in Christ's name, so I guess you hear it. So you rise from hell invisibly and there's a nine-year-old reading a speeches grandma taught to do with it. This feels weird, the time has come. God Awful Movies!

Welcome back to The Gamcast where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because the great Galgoroth has spoken. I'm your host Noah Luciens and sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and right Heath. Welcome back. Thanks Noah, the great Galgoroth, that's Greg Locke, that's what we call him. Yeah, right, yeah. It's our nickname for G-dots. Oh, it speaks for 90 fucking minutes and we watch. Boy doesn't he? He's very crying for at least half of those.

Those are my favorite moments. Yeah, those are those are the highlights. I watch those a lot over and over. And that other voice you heard that's coming from 900 miles to my northeastern, belongs to my bad friend Eli Bostak, Eli, how are you this fine afternoon sir? I'm amazing Noah. He showed this to theaters of people on purpose. Yep, he sure did. Knowing we were going to see it. So tell us Heath, what are we fucking talking about? Yeah, we watched come out in Jesus name by Greg Locke.

It's the story of a guy who has four coffees with 28 creams and 20 sugars every day. Yep. And they let him make a movie and we watched it. Sure he did. To be clear by the way, there's Noah Postrophy anywhere in that title that tries to be caught damn crazy and Eli. How bad was this movie? Well, if you hate Greg Locke for his homophobia, Satanic panic and COVID denialism, but you just want one more sin man, wait for a reason to hate him. You will love this movie.

It is quite literally the cherry on top of Greg Locke being the worst human who hasn't directly murdered. Yep. Right. Like I'm sure there are people who are like serial killers, right? Who are probably worse ontologically than Greg Locke. But in terms of people who aren't actively killing the innocent, I think Greg is taking the cake. Sure was making a fucking play for it, right? Like if he doesn't have the title, he was trying to earn it with this fucking movie.

And I'm not sure he's not actively killing the innocent ever. Wait, that's also the thing we were trying to bring. Like he's definitely in the same category as generals who give orders to get. Right. Yeah. They're just doing their job though. He's just like, he's not, he don't have a boss. That's yeah. Right. God's his boss. This movie took me longer to get through than any other 90 minute movie we have ever done. And it's not because it was so bad that I couldn't get through it.

It's because after every sentence that Greg Locke said, I was like, well, I got to write another about how fucking crazy that was. Yeah. To quote Noah's message to me on Facebook is we were watching this film. We could do every 10 minutes of this movie as the next nine episodes of our family. I was just like, oh, well, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to cut some of this shit, that's like a hundred and six pages long by the time I got done with this thing.

Yeah. Sometimes we do work on the front end. Sometimes we do work on the back. Right. This one's a backend. All right. So, is there anything guess what I nominate this one for me the best to be the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to go with best worst Greg Locke talking way too fast and like losing his breath the whole time. Again, he has all that coffee cream and sugar in him at all times. And he keeps talking, nobody's following him. It's crazy.

And honestly, it's like, it's like the time dimension got bored of hearing him and put him on fast forward at certain moments. Yes. Yeah. Flies. Well, it doesn't help that like every sentence of his ends with a comma, right? There are no periods in Greg Locke's monologues. Also, can we just like between us all here and whoever's listening to this podcast, it's Coke.

You know, sometimes you're talking to an old person and they're like Donald Trump doesn't do Coke and you're like Donald Trump doesn't not do Coke. He fell asleep at his own trial. That it's Coke, right? I know that the documentary hasn't come out yet.

And if you're listening to this in the backlogs, you're really impressed right now because you know, Greg Locke is already been on 60 minutes, being like, I was doing an eight ball a day, but like just so you know, when someone acts like that, it is the drug cocaine. Yes. No. No, I was going to go with best worst work drama. Hell yeah. Like 60% of this movie is Greg Locke and his friends ranting about demons, but the other 40% is just him telling us his work drama. Mm hmm.

Yeah, it's the lived experience of Heath and right and no illusions, just me being like, and then so and so actually had this person on their podcast and like, ah, you're Greg Locke. You're Greg Locke. You're Greg Locke. Are we dropping names about magic? That's not. They just fall. They're all in the ground and are left there, yeah. Check your pocket for a name. Okay. And of course, I'm going to take the easy one. I'm going to go with best worst title.

So obviously Greg was going for a comma and apostrophe free version of how you make demons leave the Christians that God somehow allows them into. But he ended up calling his movie almost literally just admit your gay Greg. Come out in Jesus. It's basically come on your gay. So but look, look, honestly, a big part of Greg Locke's career is that he sets himself up as the punchline for jokes for people like us, right? And then he banks on the popularity.

He gets when people go watch his fucking videos because they heard about him on our show, you know, or shows like ours. And I think that's a lot of the reason, right? Like he made that. He gave it that title so that we would make that joke about it at least to some degree. And again, as he will say in this movie, he's like, and that's when I get him. No, Greg, that's why everyone in America hates you. Yep. Yeah. All right. Well, we've kept you waiting for this one for too long already.

So we're going to keep the break. We'll come back. We'll dive into all the unrelated confessions that are come out in Jesus name. This show is sponsored by Petr Help. Hey podcast listener. I'm Heathen right. I'm Noah Luciens. And I'm Eli Bosnick here to talk to you about the importance of getting things off your chest. Exactly. That's why I'm pleased to announce that I did not enjoy Elden Ring. The video game. Yep. There's a game of the year, game of the year, unplayable.

It literally starts with the like hard boss fight that kills you. That's so unpleasant, right? Sure. So whatever you need to get off your chest therapy is a really good place to walk through whatever's weighing you down. You're like, oh, you just need to learn to dodge, but the game doesn't teach you that. The game doesn't teach you anything. Sure. Yeah. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give Petr Help a try.

It's entirely online and it's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. There's been this nonsense plot about a tree that needs to be set on fire. We have heard from dozens of listeners who have used Petr Help to find help that wasn't available locally for them, like a therapist who's secular or LGBTQ affirmed.

There's a pirate girl and she's telling me to get mushrooms for no reason. Get it off your chest with Petr Help. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful a day to get 10% off your first month. That's better help help.com slash awful. Hey, did it. We got it, man. Just think it's just a bad game. Yep. All right, fellas. Thanks for coming. Sure, Greg. What did you want to see us about? All right. So what's our biggest problem here right now as Christians? Child rape, homophobia, corruption, massage.

No, just stop answering my questions. Well, don't ask questions. No, no, the problem with Christianity is that it is a one purchase situation. Sorry, it's a one purchase situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People get saved and then boom, they're saved. Okay, save them again. And you don't really have to come church if you already saved. Now do you? I mean, I guess so. I didn't really thought of it that way. So what if, what if demons? Oh, you don't start demons? What? Yeah, yeah.

We just tell people that they fill the demons. Oh, like non Christians and they should become no Christians, but but their Christian isn't the whole point of being Christian that you're safe from demons. So that's my point. So you can't, you still temporarily house a demon if you're Christian temporarily. Yeah, you know, demon of pornography, a demon of addiction. Right. So we're going to take behaviors.

Everyone does tell people who already go to church that they're demons so they keep coming back and Tathmore. You're going to tag more if you get rid of demons or Sunday. I mean, I guess that's true. Hey guys, are we the worst form a religion can possibly take? We sure are. Like even in a hypothetical sense. Yeah, I think. Yeah. All right, so let's do that demon thing. Hey podcast, Lister. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heathen Ray. And I'm no illusions reminding you that it's matrion.

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But most importantly, if we get 700 new and upgrading patrons, Heathen Noah have agreed to do one of my amazing show episodes of one show. And that 700th person could be you podcast listener. Yes, you. I know you've been meaning to give. You've meant to take the time and toss us a buck. Well now that dollar gets a live stream and cameo. No, you didn't want one episode of cameo. No, you're that's right.

So head over to patreon.com, pledge support to any of our shows and you can watch us watch Joe or pay us cameo. You know, honestly, 699 new and upgrading patrons would be really, really lovely. We'd be very grateful. Cammy, I know you did it. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open with a super fancy lock media logo that I guarantee you Greg lot came over, right? Yeah. I love it because he very obviously spent a bunch of money on this fancy logo, but he's an idiot.

So if you're watching it in full screen, it gets cut off at the side. Right, right, right, but the opening line of the movie is Greg lot complaining about how specified sermons have gotten these days. Yeah, they're too relevant. Right. He's actually saying like pastors aren't addressing, you know, real everyday issues like literal witch hunting, which is what he does. And he's going to become a pastor of and tell us all about his anti-demonship. That's the point of the movie. So stupid.

There's only one out there with a baseball bat wrapped in Bibles destroying a Barbie. Right. Yeah. No talking about the real issues. He's talking about how we're all in chains. And of course the word chains in Greg locks language is a two syllable word, which is fun. But yeah, and then we get our title come out in Jesus name. And I expected the subtitle to be but not in a gay way though. And this is where Greg's going to give us the Ray Comfort meant to do it treatment, right?

He's telling us about his viral video on Facebook, which for those of you unfamiliar is the time he was so stupidly homophobic on Facebook that an entire nation began to donate to Planned Parenthood in his name. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The video where he's standing outside of the target screaming about whatever the fuck dumb shitty was screaming about.

But yeah, he even says he's like, you know, I discovered that anything controversial I did would get me views, which is just another way of saying I decided to be an asshole for money. Right. I'm like Tom Green, but more of a bigot and less of a bad comedian. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Fucking Steve was watching this movie being like man, you're giving us a bad name. Yeah. Right. Right. He's like, no, you know, I became a phenomena on social media. I had between all the different platforms.

I had like eight million followers. And I'm like, oh, while you know you're killing it when you start adding together all your various social media platforms for your number, like those are all different fucking people. All different. Hold on. I run a mass email with like 58 people. Let me add that in. Fuck out of here. I was walking down the street the other day and this lady sort of felt like she was drafted in behind me. I count her to. I count her. Yeah. Right.

Right. Yeah. And now he's going to rewrite what happened during COVID. Yeah. Right. He's like, well, you know, and my social media was going great there. So I decided, hey, you know, COVID ain't going to stop. Killing people over my social media presence. And so he starts talking about how he kept his church open. And now the CDC agrees with him that it was actually probably great to keep his church open. Good for you, man. Good for fucking you. Right. Cause I was wondering like, how is great.

When the minute he started talking about COVID, I was like, great. I did not go well for you in any sense of the word. You told CNN you're a 40 year old man. Right. So like this is, um, this is not going to go well. But what he lands on is the CDC agrees with me now, mumble, mumble, no details, but I haven't gotten my apology. Well, apology. Yes. Like, without you, was going to call him up and be like, Hey, Greg, it's Anthony. I feel like I was a little harsh with you.

Okay. You know how we're doing the time machine for Orwell to side tackle people when they get the quotes from 1984 in stupid context. We need just a teleporter for Fauci to punch people in the face. Yeah. Oh my God. Back out just wearing him down. I would watch that for so long. Fauci just Oh, hell in the face. And then he disappears. Well, there's also this great moment where he's like, and the real reason I kept my church open by the way was because there was a push tornadoes.

And I was trying to help all the people from the tornadoes, but then he admits he's like, and nobody else was helping because all the other churches were closed. And then it's like, well, then it's not because, right? This is not a because situation. It cannot be. Yeah. Also, like this story for so again, for those of you who don't listen to our sister shows K the eight the is the way he tells this story, right? I was rassling a bear and I wrote it into town and I saw it all for being eaten up.

I turned it up. Right. So what happened is Greg refuse to close this church. The state was like, Hey, man, we'll actually send you to jail. And he was like, tent revival. And they were like, okay, that technically counts. But then his big stupid tent was open. And they were like, yeah, I guess we'll keep stuff for tornado victims in there. And he was like, can I preach on top of it? It's my tent and they were like, yeah. Yep. I hope you fall.

Yeah. Like even in the shots where he's very clearly trying to take the credit for doing this work, you can see him just sort of milling about with his hands in his pocket. Yes. While FEMA does work in the background, they're fucking loading grain into trucks. Right. And he's like, anybody wants to air bat demons? Just give all Greg a holler. So and he's talking.

The whole thing is like, and my church has got bigger and bigger and bigger and at the end, we're going to back away from the church and see how big it's gotten except it's not a church. It's a shitty fucking tent, right? Because he wasn't allowed to put a church there or whatever. And it's got this cheap ass girder cross out in front of it and a lion, a port of parties. And then the parking lot is just gravel. There's no lines on it.

This is supposed to be the look how big we've gotten moment and it's so sad in hilarious. Yeah, it's the Woodstock 92 of tent revival. Exactly. Speaking of which, does where we reach back for his origin story, we learned that he was saved in 1992. He was in state custody because he was bad to the bone back down. Yeah, exactly. And we love it when people tell us about the decisions they made as a child.

Here are the people on this show today who have made decisions as a child that follow the rest of their life. Me deciding I wanted to play pretend for a living and Greg lot giving his life to Jesus. So what I'm saying is kids shouldn't be making life decisions. It's a good idea. Yeah. But yeah, so we explain that his granny always wanted him to be a preacher. And then we flashed to it. We see him in seminary. We see this photograph. Now he's trying to sell us this fucking punk upbringing.

You know how bad it's about? I was a juvenile delinquent. I wanted to hold onto my drugs and my party. And we see this picture of the jorkiest possible college cat. Okay. Yeah. He's like, my college experience was amazing. I went in an arrow and we're looking at an inbox outbox on the desk in his dorm. He had an inbox outbox and somebody was like, here you go out box. Also not college seminary. He even corrected. He's like, I went to college. I mean, seminary, but it's a building.

He goes, he goes, I went there for one reason and originally to learn to preach. And I'm like, it's seminary, dude. That's like saying I went to welding school for one reason and one reason old need to weld. The thing that they teach there, man, but he was, but no, can you met, can you like major in electrical engineering? And seminary, right? Yeah. You actually got a really good AC repair program here at the seminary. Keeping it cool for the big JC. But yeah, but he was so good.

He was so gifted at pretend that he graduated in three years instead of four. Yeah, he says, he says, and I quote, I crammed as many years as I could into three. And I'm like, yeah, it turned out to be three. But yeah, he says, he says, you know, my college experience, I was in and out as quick as I could get there. And I'm like, please tell me that's what his way of saying that he didn't graduate. But no, no, he, he went through a four year program in three years. Graduated seminary.

Okay. I'll go through all of seminary right now. I did it. I did it. Nothing of that. No, he makes a big deal. He's a professional evangelist. And I was like, really? Like there's amateurs that you don't think have the intellectual basis to do the job because they didn't do three whole years of seminary evangelical specialists looking at the bean out of your house. Oh, no, so you didn't have a license guide. Yeah. None of these beams really believe in Jesus.

Sorry, I'm bringing my own personal life experiences. Aren't you? I said, I should let that go. Yeah, so no, I'm very poor. Please give us money. Please, I know it's supposed to be a joke. I'm dying. I'm dying. He lets houses being hung off of a tree right now. It's one single male. Yep. A man almost dies. So, yeah. So, he's, he's, he's just talking about being a professional evangelist and, and touring around the world doing evangelism.

And he started to wonder why it is that demons only attack Christians in places with exceedingly little education and mental health support infrastructure. I know, right. You know what it is? Demons hate cameras and evidence. No, I don't think though. They see, yeah, he goes, this is an actual line as he's going through this. He says, you know, I would see demons manifest and I would think this is a little bit odd. That's his actual line.

Yep. He saw people speaking in tongues and he was like, maybe they're just speaking African and I was like, whoa, creepy, baby. Oh, it gets so much worse though. He starts talking about this one woman that he's like, you know, one woman was screaming and freaking out and an obvious torment and I thought, well, she's probably just smoking drugs. Yeah. Africa, am I right? Yeah. Africa, the amount of Africa and their smoking of drugs. You know what a big drug problem they have in Africa with drugs.

Oh my God. The, the music, by the way, through all of this is, it's scrolling through a country fair looking at ever a fatter of pigs. It could not be more incongruist than demons are attacking. Then demons manifesting in the continent of Africa. Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, he says, you know, he was interested. He says, and I quote, but I knew that voodoo and witchcraft and magic was real, but he didn't want to pursue that right because he didn't want to be a, again, his word, charismatic maniac.

Yeah. I wrote my notes. Oh, Greg, nobody would ever accuse you of being something that has charisma as the root of the word. He tells us that, you know, when he's in Africa, he saw things that he couldn't express. And I'm like, Greg, almost everything is something you can't explain. I feel like an inclined plane and a wet man.

So then, and we should point out to these little Bible quotes that move us from one scene to it, to the other to make this a really convenient movie to like take gam notes for. Yes. Exactly. I appreciate that, Greg. Thank you. Yeah. And mostly I'll ignore them, but except for I'm, I'm just going to point out that Greg Luck had no trouble at all finding the dozen plus demon related Bible quotes he needed for this movie, right?

Like the one good thing about these Bible quotes is that they really do demonstrate what a demon haunted book that thing really is. Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, look, here's the thing. This is a crazy ass documentary. It's not a biblical. Nope. Nope. For all its flaws. Yeah. No, the first quote here's it's first Corinthians 2, 14. I guess this is the second one.

And the quote is, but the natural man received it's not the things of the spirit of God for their foolishness unto him, neither can he know them because they are spiritually discerned, which translates to it's not that our shit is wrong. It's that you're not spiritual enough to understand. Why would you use that quote? You got to know the Bible's crazy if you think about the words, but just don't think about it. You didn't think about the words.

Yeah. First Corinthians. Okay. So he tells us this story. He's like, you know, and that's when it happened. And I'm like, oh, thank God. Something's going to happen. He's like, I was baptized in an old lady and she's got her grand kid with her and she's dunking the grand kid to. They're getting like a two for one baptism deal or whatever. And the little girl didn't want to go in the water and that's when he realized there was a demon in her literally a demon.

A little kid did not enjoy being dunked into a horse trough over and over. Yep. Probably a demon probably a demon. That's what great lock things definitely a demon. I wrote my notes man, I can only imagine how many demons Greg thinks my son has in and when I try to brush his teeth. Yeah. No, the little girl didn't want to get dunked. He saw that as a person being absolutely possessed by a demon went and told that child's gullible grandmother. Hey, that kid's possessed by a demon.

And then he started looking up like, how do you get demons out of eight year old girl? Fucking fit in there on his phone. How to get demon out of the toolkit? Oh, branding opportunity. All right, branding opportunity. Yeah, right, right. So another Bible quote ushers us into the him learning to cast out demons, portion of the story. This is where he tells us about the book he read. Oh my god. It's well, did he read it?

He bought the secrets to deliverance by whoever the fuck and he's like, I read, well, I read the cover in the back. It changed my life. The cover in the back. This book is so thin. It's in time. The book is the cover in the back to be fair. No, it's like I looked it up on the audible. Unaudible. It is four hours and 12 minutes long. Hell yeah. The name of the book almost an episode of hardcore history. Yeah, but not quite the instruction on expelling demons from your fellow brethren.

A lot of that four hours is auto ads though. Exactly. Exactly. That's Gerald dance. No, but we had and I have to point out the subtitle here. It's the secrets to deliverance defeat the toughest cases of demonic bond. But don't answer yet. So yeah. But he read that and he was like, wow, this is pretty impressive. He starts saying like, wow, the guy who wrote this is a regular. I don't even know who the fuck he's talking about, right? It's Rabbi Santa from later in the movie.

Well, yeah, no, it is. I know he's talking, but like he's like, he's like a regular and then he says names of people that like, I'm like, I don't know. Oh, yeah, that's true. I wrote in my notes at this point, I was like, this must be how Matt Anna feels when I talk about magic gossip. Yeah, right. I'm like, no, I'm telling you, this guy is the next diver and she's like, who? And I'm like, it's doesn't. Yeah, sorry. Right. Yeah, exactly. Well, oh, man.

Yeah, that's where he's like, well, this is where I learned about Derek Prince and we're all like fucking who? And they show this clip of this just the most boring possible guy talking in a British accent. And we cut back from Greg Luck and he's like, I like to listen to him. He sounds smart. Dude, that was, that's just a British accent. Look at that to anybody. And he's, it's not just that he's excited. He's weeping about how amazing that guy was. Right.

We hear a guy being like, I tell you all that demons are a way of everything that was and it cuts back and he is soaked with tears and he's like that moment where that man with that fancy King voice. Yeah, don't stand words. Oh boy. Yeah. And yeah, do you think that's the only time Greg lets himself a note? I bet it's the only time he lets himself a note.

Probably. Yeah. So yeah, but this is where he explains that he was real nervous, but he decided to go out there and preach about demons anyway and everybody loved his demon preaching. So he preached 45 demons sermons in a row. What do you guys think broke the streak? Was he Christmas? I bet it was probably. Yeah, I've anyone out and he was like, no, I know y'all are here for some demons, but it got my own. It's Christmas. We should do a Christmas one. Right. Maybe the CDC broke the issue.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. But this is also, I mean, we're going to see this a lot, but this is the first time we see like the big long line of cars waiting to get into his church, which he's presenting is like, you know, look at how popular we are. But it's, but it's because there's like they, there's terrible parking there. They don't have lions in their parking. It's in any field. Yeah. Of course. There's not sufficient place to park all the cars. That's the prop. That's the whole fucking prop.

The worst your parking is, the more popular your church is. That's what I've always said. Literally. Yeah. So, okay. So then we get a montage of all the people showing up for tent church. It is so funny. Everyone in this montage has the white supremacist undercut for boys. I was crying with laughter. Literally, there were two haircuts for men in this entire montage, white supremacist undercut for boys and trucker hat over baldness. That was it. They had two choices.

And that's all you can see because they're wearing camo otherwise. And they're in there. It's tough for their stupid fucking face. Yeah. It's hard to see. Yeah. Some of them have face camo too, actually. And I love so much. So we're getting these like man on the street things of people going like, wow, this church is sure blowing up. It's a great church. We are three men on the streets in before we get Greg Locke's wife. He slips her in there going, what a great church is though.

We're not going to fucking notice. She comes back in a mustache and a glasses. I've heard this guy gives his wife amazing orgasm. Okay. So yeah. And then this is of course, interspersed with him preaching. This is the first time he brings up and he never exploits it at any point in the movie. This is the first time in a sermon. He brings up the demon of religion. Right. He says that the number one thing that needs to be cast out of the church is the demon of religion.

Right. And I think what he means by the demon of religion and I do not want to claim this ontologically, I think he means the demon of other religions. Yeah. That must be it. Yeah. Because sometimes it means tarot cards and sometimes it means witchcraft. But also sometimes it just means preachers who disagree with me. It's tough. Yeah. Yeah. Religion is a problem. The solution is to get the right one. Yeah. None of the other stuff. We also, this is where we first see Daniel Adams preaching.

He's trying to be cool and appeal to kids, but his version of cool is talk black. Cool. It's not great. It's not great. Also, he's one of those guys who like worked out too much. So now he's a triangle and he's like, yeah, pretty great. Right. And you're like, you look like you're holding your breath all the time. You okay? Right. You okay? You want to hug your dad or are you just holding your breath all the time? Yeah. He's like, yeah. Some people don't like our ministry.

They don't like deliverance ministry. They don't like Greg Locke. Those people feel with a bunch of demons. That's the deal with demons filled with demons. You're going to eat a handful of beef and salt now. Yeah. All right. And this is also where we first meet preacher of Vladimir subchuk. Quasimodo. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. I wrote my notes. Vladimir is here exclusively to test how much we have progressed as people on this podcast and the answer is we have not. He looks like a fetus.

Okay. Right away. I was like, insane. What's happening? This man who has a dead eye just pointing wherever the fuck it feels like in any given moment tells people they have demons in them for a living. Right. That would be like if I was a professional fat chamber, just walking around a gym really with my mouth half full of meatball stuff. I know demons aren't real. But if they're real, salt chuk has the most of the whole time. I was like, somebody's got to exercise that eyeball, right?

Somebody's coming in and going there and be like, get out. Suck you, miss eyeball. Get out. Flicking it. I have jokes about his content, guys. So well, you go ahead and do a meeting. We have another 17 pages about the fact that his eyeball looks like an overhang of a lovely Casibo. All right. So yeah. Yeah. So we get him for just a second. Then we go back to Greg and Greg explains. He says, you know, people come to me all the time and they complain that they have voices in their head.

And I do some other than refer them for psychological help because I'm a terrible evil human being. Jesus. Yes. He's like, they hear voices and I'm like, oh, yeah. That's a demon. Yep. Like he was trying to get the catchphrase, that's a demon going. Yeah. Yeah. No, over. I've written that in my fucking notes, probably 106 times dot, dot, dot, that's a demon. Yeah. Oh, is this when Greg Locke says something is enticing my lust and then. I'm pretty sure. Yes. It's part of his preaching.

It's a crucifixion kink. Yeah. Okay. So over and over again in this movie, he uses the phrase, I crucify my flesh. Yeah. No fucking clue. There was so much. I started looking shit up that he was saying. Like what the fuck do Christians mean when they say that? And like it, like it doesn't even make sense when you look it up. So I stopped looking it up. It's like that conversation within a conversation gobbledy guked. Like you, you wind up on a fight on a furry fan page.

And you're just like, I just wanted to jerk off just some my little pony. I don't know what's going on. Typically the blood rushes down and you actually have an erection at the end of the episode. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That's actually science. All right. You know what? I'm going to keep going with the video. I'm going to see what happens. Yeah. So then we Bible quote our way into the next section where we're going to tackle the misconception that Christians are immune to demons.

Right. This is where Greg Locke's like, you know, I'm sick of the argument about whether people are oppressed by demons or possessed by demons. I'm like, secret answer C. Jesus. This is what it's like being my coworker. And I just, again, I want to really apologize to you guys. This is just, this is a heaths every time heath makes the mistake of answering the phone. I'm like, you'll never guess what so and so wrote on Twitter. And that's what I am. Also, they keep showing crowd shots.

They should not do that. Every crowd he has, it looks like a focus group for hot dogs. And a gas station and a restaurant. Yep. And they all like it. This is also where we meet Leah DePries. This is the South African guy. Oh, I was hoping we moved here from a white South African guy. That's, that's good. Yeah. Finally, given us the clarity we need. Yeah. Is this Santa and flower pajamas? No, we get Santa and flower pajamas after him.

That is a apostle Alex Pagani, the guy who wrote the, the four hour book. Okay. I want you to picture like a really niche coffee shop in Brooklyn. Like they don't make lattes. It's its pressos and macchiatos. And if you order a macchiato, they explain what a macchiato is to you. You're picturing this guy. You're just picking up the belief that he does that to you. You're picturing him. Imagine David Cross. He's brining his own pickles inside of that annoying coffee shop. Yeah. There you go.

You didn't. Yes. I feel bad. I'm sorry, David Cross. You're a handsome man. We're apologized for the comparison. He'd hit him briefly with me, both of those guys. And then we get, we cut back to Greg and he goes, you know, it's easy to tell if you have a demon or not. And I'm like, yes, it is. It's not. It is actually easy. That's true. But then he gives us a series of questions that you have to ask yourself. Were you involved in the occult? Is there witchcraft in your family?

Was your grandfather or great grandfather in the Masonic Lodge? If you've answered yes to any of those questions, you might have a demon. Have you ever walked by an Elk club? All right. I think I got everyone. Right. Right. So and then we hear from like a chick who used to think that she was psychic, but now she thinks she's oppressed by demons. I wrote my notes. I'm like, wow, you circled all the way around right and set up camp on the other side. Didn't you?

Yeah. So he even at one point says, do you hate me? Like, do you just for some reason really, really hate me? David. Yes. Right. I wrote my notes at that point. I'm oppressed with a giant demon because I'm really fucking hate great. Well, yeah, though that was bad. He was, he came on and he's like, are you bored at religious services? That's probably a demon, right? Like, oh, really? That's not you. It's it has nothing to you. He's like, do you just hate deliverance ministers?

I'm like, I'm listening. He's like, probably a demon. Glad is quasi-moto, right? Yes. Yeah. Glad is quasi-moto. Yeah. Please address him by his Christian name, no other illusions. He has a towel over his mic, by the way. Yeah, which felt like definitely all the other preachers were like, hey, man, don't, I don't want to touch yours that you can't see of the whatever. You're going to, you get a towel. I'm Greg Locke.

There's no way you're going to convince me I can't catch whatever's going on with your eyeball right now. So I'm going to need you to take this shamw well. Yeah. Wrap it up in the microphone. See, honestly, I saw that night thought, well, yeah, I wouldn't want to touch something that Greg Locke had touched either. Yeah, I guess it's natural to go either way. Yes. No illusions. The best of us, ladies and gentlemen. Also, of course, he introduces us to the demon of pornography here. Yes. Uh-huh.

He says a whole big speech about that. And also like he specifically says, this is so goddamn careless. He specifically says the words and I quote, no, you're not crazy. You're under the influence of a demonic spirit. They say that like three times in this movie, right? They say tell people, no, you don't have a mental illness. You have a demon. And those exact words. It's like me trying to get Cara in trouble as a doctor, as a joke, but they're doing it for real to themselves. Right.

I'm a medical doctor. Here's a prescription for unlaxed medication. I'm Greg Locke. There's also this one, this one moment where there's this random lady and she just comes on for no reason. She just goes, you know, I didn't know anything about generational curses. And I had, I paused the laugh for so goddamn long. But that's when he explains because apparently walking by the out club didn't get everybody.

This is where he has to explain that like you can get in trouble and get demons for a shit that your great grandfather did. Did your great grandpa walk by the Elk's? It's hard to get all these people. It's like our culture is centered around Christianity for a bunch of generations and we need other reasons for people to come back. Right. Right. Yeah. There's one lady who's like, you know, I used to get angry sometimes. So that was demon.

They have a montage of that of people being like, I also got mad once, probably a demon. I better check out Greg Locke's thing and pay him some time. Right. I'm sorry. Is Greg Locke, the man who's famous for just melting town in front of a target and a dunk in donuts actually saying in his fucking movie that losing your temper is a sign of demonic possession. Mm-hmm. Is that what just fucking happened?

Maybe he's one of those people who's just waiting for someone to say like, hand Greg, would you like us to get rid of your demons? Yeah. And we're finally there. So I did have a meltdown out front of a dunk in donuts because I wouldn't wear a mask. That's true. That's true. Fuck dead. All right. Well, apparently we have a bunch of fucking demons and I need to buy them a quick drink, but we'll be making a flash with even more come out in Jesus name. They literally lead you to the same website.

Let me show you. They lead the same website. Click mine then, right? Hey, guys, guys, what's the hub up? Well, he's the night found the same Airbnb for the pajama party, but he wants me to click on his link instead of mine when they're exactly the same. If they're exactly the same, you should just click my link, right? No problem. I get it, guys. It's like wireless service from Mint Mobile. What's Mint Mobile? Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month.

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Are we picking? Okay. You know what? I found this one. Compromise. Okay. Let me see it. Eli, this is the same link. Working with what I have no illusions. I'm working with what I have. Got it. Still want to use mine. Okay. I'm looking mine. And then I said, what's wrong with pitch fork? That's our whole thing. Obviously, it's our thing. Oh, shitty. It's the pornography demon. Ah, fuck. Hey, fellas. Strike. Right? Strike. Yeah. So, what have we been up to? What do we do in?

Not, well, you know the usual murder, evil, hatred. Totally nice. Nice, nice, nice. All right. What about you? pornography. What are you up to? Oh, me. Just consenting adults fucking. Lots of fucking. Sure. Sometimes people like, like watch it. Yeah. That sounds real. Yeah, but people are calling it an addiction now. I don't know if you're not an addiction. Well, you know the definition of addiction is blurry. I think you're clopting that word for people with a real serious problem.

So pornography. That's sex, right? I bet you deal with a lot of rape. But you're a bunch of rape going on. Oh, man. I wish. no, actually a lot lower rate rate than so many other jobs. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, you know, you know, because you would think it would be high. Right. You'd think you would think that, but no, it's significantly lower than both prison guards and soldiers. And if you're counting sexual assault, it's lower than public school teachers. I feel like I heard otherwise.

How about those numbers? I know you have heard otherwise, but that was, um, that was Christian propaganda. Okay. So, so if you're just people fucking, you know, like, consensually, why are you even a demon? I, well, I'll tell you, I say that people are siblings a lot. Oh, nice. I mean, gross. What? Gross. And we're back for more of the shit. We're going to rejoin the action with a series of confessionals from people who used to be demonically addicted. Right?

Yeah. This guy's struggle with alcohol addiction. There was a lady who says like, I struggle with food addiction. I'm like, that's, it's not an issue. You have to eat food. That's just right. And then later, like two fucking montages later, she's going to be like, I had bulimia, which is not food addiction. Right. Like, you know, I would eat a lot of cheeseburgers, which is like, it's just like being addicted to meth.

And I'm like, I don't think it is upper middle class white lady with multiple plastic surgery. Yeah. I'm not diminishing the struggle of people with eating disorders. You are by saying it's a demon. Yeah. Right. Right. And then there's one guy who I fucking love. He's like, I was addicted to pharmaceuticals. Like cocaine and I was like, all right, man. You're so left. I know what he was saying, he's like giving us a list of things that he was addicted to.

He's like, I was addicted to pharmaceuticals. Cocaine, but he says it as though cocaine is an example of the pharmaceuticals that he was addicted to. And I'm like, okay, that's how I knew Greg was pranking us this whole time, right? Yeah. I went to a very old time pharmacy. He's the last man still putting it in the coca coca. Yes. So in the end, and of course, these confessions are interspersed with Greg Locke at the pulpit. Speaking Christianies, I have. No idea what any of this shit means.

He says, I crucify my flesh every day and still can't get victory. What? Yeah. He nails his skin onto a cross. I don't know. I mean, I'm not saying he doesn't, but I'm confused about the condition. He said victory there and confused about the verbiage. Yeah. He also goes like, now you might think if your body's a temple, where do the demons get in? The courtyard. And I'm like, what is happening?

We literally get a CGI shot of the courtyard of the temple of Israel so that, you know, so we know what a courtyard is. See how the demons can get into our bodies. I don't know what's going on. He's explaining that like you can be filled with the Holy Spirit, right? Because all Christians think they're filled with the Holy Spirit, but demons can be in there too, like a, like a fucking wacky roommate show. And let me just say if that was a wacky roommate show, I would watch it.

And now back to Holy Moli. Moli. What did I do this time? Look Moli, when I, the Holy Spirit agreed to share this human vessel with you, I didn't realize you'd be watching porn. What can I say? I love this stuff. Oh Moli, well new rule, no porn in the vessel, okay? I still own half this place. Fine, fine. Jesus Christ. Did somebody say body of Christ? Come on, who invited him? It's Sunday. He's always here on Sundays.

That's right. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, back and Bies, Tuesday, Thursday, Legs, and Paxing on Sunday. We flex. Exactly. See, that's good. So it's good. Morgan worked so fucking hard to make that one. Little that, that, like, 45 seconds. Thank you, Morgan. Right there. We don't tell him ahead of time too. He's just listening to do his job and then all of a sudden has to fight people going good. Yeah. Right, right. Moli button is demons. I don't care.

You got to wash that or else demons apparently. My favorite bit is after this just gobble digook where I had to Google 16 different things, he goes, and that's why the Bible says put on the armor of God. And I'm like, what is why they say that? Yes. It feels like you're watching a pitch for a pyramid scheme, but with less reality and more victims. Right.

They talk about being filled with demons, like a New Jersey exterminator who's about to give you a really high quote, like, oh, no, see, all up in here, you got demons too. You see that? Yeah. No, that's demons too. Yeah. No, this is not going to bring in this real life situation. And again, please, it's matriot. You have to. You have to. They don't give me credit cards for a reason. This is all you have to get that machine. Don't interrupt me. You just wave it around and it like sense.

Oh, that's water. You got water. That's what you got. You got demons. That's the demon right there. You just said, Blinley, I heard you do it. You're not. Just get a, get a fake machine that makes a noise, man. Do your life better. This is also where we meet Mike Signarelli of the V1 church. He'll be important later. Astros. But before we get to him, we have to talk about Hudson, the evangelist kid that was there just daring me. Like this kid is the quintessential dork kid.

Every door thing is present on this kid. There's no again, they're daring me to make fun of him. Right. They knew that Noah would hold strong against making fun of fetus guy and they were like, but what about Hudson, the illusions? You sure you don't have any words about Hudson's physical appearance? You want to say? No, it's just trembling like Roger Rabbit in the closet. Hudson's slowly rubbing his mullet along the camera. Hudson. Hudson has dangerous ideas. That's not a dangerous ideas.

And Hudson helps me out so much because the first lion's he says is he goes, young people struggle with things. And I'm like, oh, hold on. Give me a second to soak that profundity in before you throw me another. Okay. I was just not paying attention at all during any of this except for maybe Hudson. He caught my eyes for a second. The whole time I just saw Greg Locke in one shot and he's switched into his fucking motorcycle jacket like an asshole for no reason.

The whole time I was just like, I want to flick the stupid buckles and zippers. I want to flip. Look at that. Yeah. There's this great moment to where Vlad shows back up and he's got, he tells us this story of this lady who got COVID even though she was in her home by herself and wore her mask even when she was in a home alone. And then so the doctors couldn't figure out what's going on. So they prayed for her and she puked into her mask. That's what you get.

Oh my God. Okay. I almost went with this. This is almost best worst puked. There is so much vomiting in this movie. We're going to keep it minimal, but every montage contains someone holding a bowl for someone who's about to puke or someone who is very obviously just finished puking doing that like, or Vlad telling a story about somebody puking. Okay. But a bunch of these people are faking it. They're doing fake demon stuff, including like, I'm right.

But so they bring a bowl for the possibly fake vomit that's going to happen as an act to go along with this bullshit. Right. Just pantomime the ball really cut off the middle. Right. Exactly. The 10 church even hires dedicated big bouncer dudes to just like catch idiots who spasm and fall in a fake way that might hurt them. Yes. That's a job there. Several women we see throughout the documentary who are very clearly designated bowl holders. And I think that's the worst job in America.

Yeah. I want to see Mike what's his name to that. Yeah. So, okay. So then we get another fucking demon quote. And this is where Vlad explains to us that the demons in you need to eat garbage. This is where I realized that it was a hot pocket demon that gave me the heart attack, guys. Oh, it was a hot pocket demon. Yeah. I have a soy dog demon. He has a scotch demon. Yeah. He's my BScotch demon. Really?

So yeah. So I love Hudson at this point comes on and he's like, he's like, you know, your phone is one of the biggest doorways to sin and porn and self pleasure. And you're just starting. You're going like, come on. Don't any goes, which I did a lot. I'm like, okay, Hudson. Yeah. There it is. Hudson. Fuck yeah, Hudson. Do you find that they put the porn back on Tumblr Hudson? Is that what it is? You've got to put the porn back on Tumblr. I found out that too, Hudson.

So, and then meanwhile, we've got Greg preaching about having the demon of masturbation and porn. And while he's talking about that, the camera just lingers on this middle-aged lady who I can only assume is the cameraman's axe, right? Yeah. We also, this is great moment. They cut over to Vlad because all of the preaching montages are sort of intercut with each other. And Vlad is like, and this demon, it needs to see the pornography all the time.

Like every three weeks and I wrote, I know, three weeks. Okay. The eyeball is full of cum. We figured it out. Yeah, right. That's a complete sugar eyeball out of your head. And then you took off. You're going to have a normal forehead by the end of the day. No. So, yeah, there's also, there's a great moment. It's just so random, but I have to point it out. Greg says in his sermons, he's like, you know, they, you don't want to give a place for demons. You know what? Place means.

Like obviously everybody knows what place means. And as I'm writing that, he goes, it means occupancy. And I'm like, okay, well, I stand corrected. Damn. What the fuck is place? Okay. I got you right here. It's occup, what the fuck is occupant? You made it so much harder. It's so much more. Exactly. So many more words. You mean the doctor? And then he actually ends by saying, I'm not saying porn is demon. Probably is. Probably is. Probably is. Probably is. Probably is.

Yeah. But he's a Jewish doctor. Right. Jewish doctor. Yes. Exactly. That timing, exactly. Also, if it's not always a demon, what is it? Some of the time, Greg. Yeah. Sometimes you just feel like ranking it. Well, right. Right. Exactly. So then, okay. And now we've done a bunch of demons shit. Now it's time for more fucking work drama. Right. We're going to learn how Greg met Daniel Adams. Like we give a fuck. This is so good.

Like, again, I don't want to make this about me, but this is so very clearly. We all hated Greg, but they were like, he does have a lot of Facebook followers. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Do a thing with him. They have a whole montage of people being like, we did not like Greg, but you know, likes or likes on Twitter. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Anyway, Mike comes on at this point. And he goes like, you know, I think Greg is just a historical figure. And I'm like, relax.

Man, he already said you could be in the movie. Okay. You know, but what Greg thinks he's showing us here is like the oceans 11 getting the team together portion of the program. And he clearly wouldn't be in it, but he made the movie. So he had this one moment for one guy to be like, I'm emailing with Greg fucking lock guys. Greg lock. We got to get a minute. You heard of him. We totally got to get him. We got to. I'm dropping his name because he's that big cut.

Yeah. And at one point, like what they were like, all right. But so then Daniel was on board and Alex was on board. But could we get Isaiah on board? And I'm like, oh my God, this is someone telling me the history of their fantasy baseball league. Isaiah fucking Saldovar. Are you sure? When I was watching this movie, he is. So then we got to the big TSNL for runner conference in Duluth, Georgia that we've all been waiting for.

So but I guess that's where they first met Greg and his way first met the guy that wrote that 14 page book that we were talking about earlier. Yeah. And when they met Greg knew they were going to have a monumental friendship. And I wrote in my notes, me and Marsh and Kara and Tom and Cecil and pretty much everyone running around. Yeah. Just me being like, we're best friends now. What? Nothing. You're at a work event. I think so. He goes, Greg is telling us the story of his wife meeting Alex.

She's like, you know, he met him and she fangirled over him a bit and he knew who she was. And I'm like, well, because he has three fans, man. Yeah. Like you read the 14th page of his book. Yes. She also really wants to fucking well, there's a very big undercurrent of she really wants to fuck Alex throughout this movie. And I get it. He's he make you a latte like nobody's been. Yeah. Well, it would be a latte. That's just for new. Well, right. Yes. Exactly.

Tells you why different than a cappuccino while he does it. That's a lockyado actually. I don't do mockyados. Sploosh. I also, I love that like they do this whole big moment here. You know, where it's like it's not about the size of a man's church or the number of people in his congregation or the number of likes he has on social media. I'm like, well, then why do we spend the first six of this movie talking about how big your church was and how many likes you had on social media? You check ass.

It could be that so it could be the point he's making is it's not about size. It's about the substance of anti demon. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So with that's enough word drama for now. It's time to get back to demons, right? We get another demon quote from the Bible here. And just as I'm thinking to myself, how the fuck could there possibly be 50 minutes left in this goddamn movie? We get a sermon clip that we've already seen, right?

They replay a sermon clip and then we get Isaiah going like, you know, often people ask, how do I know that I have a demon? I'm like, we already did that part of the movie. Did it start over? I literally checked if I had accidentally like, we pushed a button on Amazon. Yeah. He's like, Isaiah says demons are pro at hide and seek. And I'm like, oh, you're just daring me to take you serious. You're true.

Okay. My favorite part of the lore here, according to Christians, Greg Locke, all these people, the big way that you can get demons, they're a killi's heel is technical legal loopholes. Yes. Yes. They're very legalistic, they tell us. You get them on technicalities. And apparently demons are like, fuck, that is technically the law of demons in the demon constitute. He said it out loud. I have to leave. Fuck. Okay. So now we're going to get probably the scariest part of this movie.

Maybe the second scariest, there's a part where a kid doesn't anti demon prayer. That's a little worse maybe, but this is the part where we see Isaiah exercising the demons out of this woman. Mm hmm. Now they blurred this woman and they've changed her voice and everything, but she starts off. She's like, you know, I renounced witchcraft and palm reading and Ouija boards. And then she's like, I renounced the evil thoughts I have every night about murdering my children. Sorry, what?

And they move on right and I'm like, man, they are going to let this deeply disturbed woman leave after this telling her that she's cured now. Mm hmm. Right, that there's no longer anything wrong with her. Yep. So, yeah. So we watch this for like a fucking while he says it goes on for hours. I don't doubt it. But we see clips of it. We see him suddenly. He just goes like, I ran out. Like, I renounced you evil spirits of this. I ran out you evil spirits of that.

At one point he goes, I ran out you bird spirit. And we're like, are you just going like saying what you see now? Are you going to? Are you going to run out hats next? Because she's hyperventilating, right? And she's doing that thing where you sort of fan yourself and he's like bird spirit. That's why she's flabbing. Oh, is that what? Can I say my son, chock full of bird spirit? You watch this kid watch a marble video. He is chock full of bird spirit. He sure is. I've seen it.

He's like, I'm not going to stop it. Everything. Yeah. So yeah, we watched them fucking torture a mentally ill lady. The whole time her husband's got to hold the puke bucket, right? But now that the demon is gone, she's not afraid of birds anymore. Also her, I end I quote, her teeth stopped falling out and her hair stopped falling out. And she's not afraid of birds. So this is like a brief. He's got a great deal there. Jesus. So yeah.

So apparently like, yeah, they heard heath's jive about the illegal rights of the demons or whatever because that's what like Alex comes on and he's like, yes, heath we're leaning into that. Satan, he says quote, is a master legalist. Oh my God, that's so funny. He's like, I just, I'm imagining Satan playing board games against heath now. Yeah. And the example that he gives, by the way, is in joke when he tricked God who is omnipotent.

Yep. And all knowing he's like, you remember how Satan was like Bet you won't. And so he killed the man's family, that master legalizer. Shit, I feel like there's a word for it. We may never know. Devils and legalizer. It's something it will. God, something there. It's our boss. Marcus, but then they tell us about the sin of unforgiveness. I have no idea where this comes from, but they start talking about how important it is that your kids not hold a grudge against you.

Even if what you do is crazy and endangers people, I think. Yeah. Well, so this is way worse than that afterwards with their next thing about unforgiveness. They sure do like so much worse. Yeah. Like, you know, how we don't forgive rapists enough? Yikes. Well, okay. So the point that he thinks he's making, he's like, we don't forgive rapists because we don't think rapist bad. We forgive him because it allows us to move on. And I'm like, okay, so she's, yeah, the result is the same though.

Like the fact that you feel the need to clarify it is evidence that the result is the say. Yeah. It's weird when forgiveness is a huge part of your brand, especially for sex crimes, huh? Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. Like, if we were like every year, we do matrions where we fund race for ourselves. And of course, we do vulgarity for charity where we fund race for other people. And then in July, we just sort of make sure that everyone's chill about all the sex crimes. Who does sex crimes?

We call it let it go August. Here on the Scabie Game. In this movie, they had a long segment of pastors being like, yeah, here's the hardest part for us. It's that rape victims are super mean when we explain that they're really judging. Right. Yeah, exactly. Really mad when you tell them to forgive everybody. I'm trying to talk about the food at this barbecue and they're like, you raped me. You raped her. It's just in top of the super. They never let it go.

Also, by the way, I know there's this like, it doesn't have to be religious. There's a general wisdom that like forgiving can be healthy. I don't think it it like hating bad people feels super healthy to me. It's like, it drops on Rose. It's like my favorite stuff right there. I thrive on it. But of course, I say at this point, for the second time we have somebody in the movie, they'd really say, these are not mental illnesses. These are unclean spirits that are living in us. That's a quote.

Yup. A quote. Jesus fucking Christ. It's okay. So then we get the story about how they started doing mass deliverance services. Right. They were like, no, and this is the first of several times that we're going to hear like their buddies song that he wrote about this movie. Right. Yeah, for sure. And where the lyrics are just the title. And then Greg started doing a bunch of demons at once had a time. And his order at Nunga known as his totally reasonable anyway moving on to the demon thing.

Yeah. And again, I just want to be clear that this is like a branding marketing workshop. Right. He's like, you know, it's hard to pull people up one by one and be like, get out of here, demon. It's a bird. It's from Puerto Rico. Right. And what we did is we found an old VHS tape of a guy who was just like, um, beolar, be olar, your exercise, uh, Smith Watson, your, you mean when fucking warly. Yeah. The, when warly Henry Ford of exorcism.

He just had assembly lines and people would exercise, exercise, exercise. Yeah. He says he, he found another book. This was not unnotable. So I don't know how long it is. He says the book was called the diary of an actress. That's the subtitle. Okay. The book is called battling the hosts of hell, the diary of an exorcist and even Greg Locke knew he had to clean that dumb shit up.

But what when warly's trick was is that instead of saying, beolar, your exercise, Smith, your exercise, does he says everybody who has a demon of pornography, your exercise, everybody who has a demon of free masonry, your exercise. So now he can exercise 30, 40, 150 people at the same time instead of doing the one on one shit. Right. And then this video clips they're showing uncomfortably close to drama school. Just in case anyone's wondering what drama school is like, it is a lot of this.

So and then they're going to, they, they tell us what's wrong with churches these days. Hint, it's that they don't exercise enough demons. Yes. Right. This is when we, we get a clip of the speech where he said he had three witches in his church, but not that part. Yeah. I know there's witchcraft up in your hard cut because the second half of that was there are three witches in his church and I will find you. Yeah. That's the one.

But so Greg Locke though, he theorizes that the decline in church attendance is because people are not fundamentalist enough about the demon stuff. And I encourage Christianity to listen to Greg Locke on that one. My job is hard enough. Finally, yeah. He's like, it's not about buildings and then immediately is like, we have a 3000 seat tent and it's like, is it about buildings or not, Greg? Right. Yeah. Exactly. That's a building, man. Right.

Also, by the way, there's, there's no seats and it's just 3000 people tent. Yeah. He goes, you know, the problem in the church started in the 60s and 70s when they started getting more pop psychology about shit. And I'm like, hold on, hold on a second. You guys blame the boomers too? Is that? We find something that we all agree on. So okay. So boomer, read a fucking demon idiot. Like that. That's the thing. All we are saying is give pre-stutch and so too much lead up, not worth it.

So. Yep, not stupid. So then we really... The demon of bad song church. I review you demon of bad songs. So then we really, we really dig into what's wrong with churches these days, right? I'm going to start saying, oh no, you're doing your intro. Sorry. I'm a demon of really bad time and unsolved. Demon of bad time and yep. So and we get this Bible quote here. This is just fucking amazing, right? This is Ephesians 5.11.

The quote is take no part in unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. That's don't be bad. Tell on people who are bad, right? Snip. The quote is like, I feel so sorry for people trying to find profundity in the fucking Bible. Snitches find witches. Yeah. Well, you want to sing that? You want to sing it? No, no, that was great. That was brilliant. Stop it. This is... This is also where Vlad gives us his shot-gunning of all the things that might be demons, right?

And crystals in Africa. They say open up to God, not open up to Jesus. Apparently that's it. At one point he says emptying your mind during meditation makes your mind vulnerable to demons. He's a loo. It leaves room in there for the demons. Yes. Goy wee-jee boards. He explains very dangerous. Yoga? Yep. Yep. Gotta walk up for that stretching. Just a bunch of demons sitting there in your belly button. Hold on. He cleared his mind. He cleared his mind. We got this. Jumping. He's moved.

He has this fucking phenomenal moment where Greg Locke is at the pulpit and he says, Oh, what he wants to talk about bondage in the church and I wrote in my notes, the Eli Bosnick story. All right. Same page. There's also the South African guy shows back up at this point to explain how we're all goldfish and God's goldfish bowl.

And I just, I have to point this out because he says, you know how when you stick your fingers in there, your, your, your fish are afraid of your finger and they all swim away. Well, that's because when something comes from a higher dimension into a lower dimension at scary. And I'm like, dude, my fish don't swim away from my fingers and fear that. They know that they're getting food when they find my, when my fingers are in there. Are you, what are you doing to your fish?

We know what he's doing to his fish. Also what dimensions do you think your hand is in? That's also another thing is the higher part of like the higher dimension is up all into the balls. The fascist in the water mentioned in the ball dimension. I think that's really what he was thinking. Right. Yes, that's exactly what he was thinking, but then Greg has to come back in and he's, he's got to explain the God size hole in our hearts that we're born with.

But this is where he points out he's like, hey, look, you know, if you believe the Bible, you have to believe that the other guys that the bad guys have magic powers too. Just think about the time when Moses threw down his stick and it turned into a serpent. Like the Pharaoh's visiostics also turned into serpents and I'm like, yes, your book is fucking dumb. If you're making a point other than your book is fucking dumb, don't bring up that part. You got to have a second trick prepared.

It's my moral. Greg also says, I think exact quote, Hollywood is buck wild into demonism because it sells. And I was like, really man, you're going to say that during your movie about demons seriously. Yes, that you're selling that I rented for money from you. Yeah. And also, by the way, the soundtrack behind Greg talking about fucking Ouija boards is, yeah, it's just like this terrified demon music the whole time. It's amazing.

Like two of them are going to fly on camera and crush his head in between. Yes. All right. Well, you're pushing it. I don't think Ouija boards are some pretty scary shit. So I feel like we need to take a break in case anybody needs a minute to recover. But first, let me give act through the hard sell. Is Isaiah taking more than his fair share of the morning donuts? Did Daniel microwave fish in the break room again? Are we going to believe what Mike Secretary said about Alex's wife?

Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the halting conclusion of come out in Jesus name. Dude, just take it. I don't want your green paper. The last time it's money. Hey, guys, what's with all the hubbub? He like forgot what money is again. I know what honey is. No, money. This happens like once a month. I mean, if you're forgetting money every month, then what you need is rocket money. What's rocket money?

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Rocket money has over 5 million users and is saved a total of $500 million in cancel subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features. All right, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash awful movies. That's rocketmoney.com slash awful movies. Rocket money.com slash awful movies. All right. No, thanks. So, A. So, Eli, can I have your green paper?

No, he just told me I need it. It's honey and money. It's money. That's it. That. Michael. Michael Smith. Step forward. Yes. Peter, I'm ready to enter heaven. Right. About that. Oh, is there a problem? I'm afraid so. You know how you're adopted? Sure. Yeah, my Christian foster parents, they help me find the Lord. Yeah, yep, yep. And God really appreciates that, by the way, hugely. But there's a bot. But, but yes, you kind of had a generational curse on you. And, uh, tip the scale.

I didn't even know my parents. Right. No, you know what? It's not even your parents. These things go back three generations. So, listen, again, in this case, it was your great grandpa. He was, uh, well, he was a big ol' homo. No way. Yep. Yep. Positively loved the dick. Right. But, but I was a Christian. I loved the Lord my whole life. Yeah, but not as much as P. Paul loved the peen, my dude. So, uh, see ya. Zwie, it's a star. I mean, he's got me there.

And we're back for still more of this shit. And this is where we're finally going to get to the book burnings. Yes. Just in case you thought Greg was going to gloss over the fact that the thing he is also famous for is holding a book burning. Yep. And he starts off with a fucking Bible quote that makes it super clear. And the Bible is pro book burning and I'm like, yep, no, you're right. It is. No, you are correct.

Yeah. Yeah. He mentions the satanic panic and I was like, oh, he's going to say it's good, isn't he? Yep. Sure. He's like, yeah. So witchcraft, uh, had to pivot the brand after that amazing satanic panic. Yeah. We panicked so well that witchcraft had to rethink their strategy. Yeah. We really, we really got them on their preschool and people who turned out to be innocent strategies. Yeah. They're back. They pivoted. They did like Sabrina, the teenage witch.

That was a like a gateway witch in the 90s when they calmed it down. And then they ramped it up to like, you know, Disney doing stuff and Harry Potter being all demony and stuff. Yeah. Right. He says that the Satanist pivoted to children's entertainment. He goes, especially Disney, no elaboration. No. I think in his mind, he imagined them showing a couple of clips of satanic stuff from Disney, but then his lawyers are like, oh, fuck, no, Jen, are you kidding me? You don't want to do that?

No, no, no, no. Greg, Greg, we're already fucking up here, man. Let's not. And then we see the book burning, like behind his monologue, he's explaining it. We're seeing clips of it. And I didn't realize this. We talked about the book burning quite a bit. I didn't realize that they did it in the rain. It's the fucking best. So fucking funny. And then keep showing it. It's just a whole bunch of idiots standing in the rain, listening to Greg Locke give speeches during it.

And it's just so sad, like a fucking poem about suicide. And everybody's so bored of it. So bored. So much. Yeah. I also, I have to point out of the only couple because obviously they can't show most of the copyrighted shit they burned. Someone has brought some Halloween Google-y eyes. Yes. To be burned. Right. Cause those are satanic. It's the Halloween. You know who's that? That's Google Satan in many terms. The black needs like, sorry, man, I hope it did nothing personal.

It was a little bag of like Halloween fingers and eyeballs. Cause that's the devil's work. That was so amazing. Yeah. They're burning like plastic stuff too. Like board games. Oh, yeah. They're so proud of it. They made a giant plastic fire with stuff that they bought from Disney to destroy Disney is like in their heads a win. Right. And then they stood around and just breathed the fumes of it. It's raining, right? Smoke isn't rising. It's just spreading out around.

Yeah. Everybody's just coughing. They keep showing it. They're blocking one point. Says there's an overall sense of peace. And immediately the movie actually cuts to a giant absurd fireball. Yeah. That's the thing. In the rain, it's amazing. And then they cut from that to that time. They harassed those drag queens in Knoxville. Yes. And God, his version of the story is so funny. He's like, I got to call that they are doing a drag show at children at Joe Knoxville.

It's at Christmas, which we had dibs on. So we got to come get arrested. So yes. So we all gathered across the street because they were that stuff as close as they were allowed to get. And we shouted harassment at these people who were trying to put on a fucking Christmas show for children. Yes. Truly, you have never seen a more desperate attempt to make a crowd look bigger, right? It's like an unknown standup comedian shooting the crowd outside his special.

They're just going back and forth across the same six bigots being like, oh, where does the line? Yeah. Right. So any explains that they were actually being very polite about bigoting at them. And the people on the other side, the people who are supporting the drag show made a obscene gesture, name calling, not a fan. Not a fan of the name calling that went on. Oh, it's fucking awful. Greg Locke actually says, yeah, we don't attack people. We attack the literal demons inside.

They are inside of the people. We're trying to get through the right. I'm attacking through you. Yeah. And by the way, like we had the runtime of this movie quite a bit with just harassing drag shows B roll here. Yeah. It goes on for a really fucking even when they have nothing left to do, even when they've he's run out of shit to say we just the camera lingers, where he's like, and I had, I don't I don't. We literally just watch him stand around for a minute and he's like, thought I had some.

I mean, I'm done. I had all of it. So I wish I had a song demon right now. That would pop right in. And then we cut to a fetus. And I don't mean a guy who looks like a fetus. They'd like a literal. We have like a like a CGI fetus that we cut to. I don't think we know that it wasn't quasi moto here. Maybe that was quasi motos feet. We're about to watch how it happened. Don't see this before the car crash. The fetus with Benjamin button. I mean, there you go.

So but as we look at the fetus, we hear this kid claiming victory over Satan in a voice over. Now look, in the mythology of Christians, that's got to be weird for Satan, right? Like you're the fallen angel Lucifer. And you're being called out in Christ's name. I guess you hear it, right? You got some form of potent, even if it's not Omni. So you rise from hell and visibly. And there's a nine year old reading a speeches grandma taught him.

And you are really know what I'm supposed to do with this. It feels weird. The dynamic is no fuck you. I don't even want to say fuck it's a kid. Yes. But honestly, though, like this kid destroying the works of witches and wizards with his Jesus spell is one of the scariest things I've ever fucking seen though, right? Like that was a terrifying thing to look at. But from there, we cut to Greg Bragg and about his New Year's Eve celebration in 2022.

The caption comes out and lets us know that that was on December 31st, by the way. That's the day that New Year's Eve fell in that year. If you watch in Greg's Locks movies, you might need to or a quick reminder of when it is. Nope. That's a December. Yeah, it's a place didn't make sense either. But this is he does this whole weird bit where he's like, you know, so I decided to have a big thing on New Year's Eve, a big party.

And it just turned out that all of my preacher friends that I preach with were available to do it that day. It was a miracle. Oh, those guys didn't get invited to a whole bunch of parties with all their awesome friends that they're right. It was miraculous. That's a miracle of God. You know, he was texting the group chat like time to get the gang back together and getting nothing but thumbs up emojis. Yep. Just nothing but those emojis. Yeah. Well, he's like, it was so crazy.

Everybody was available to preach. And I'm like, your job is preacher. Man, we managed to get together for a podcast today. The three of us. Yeah. It's a miracle from God. And then we cut to like Greg talking about the Miles Long Line trying to get into his church that day on for that New Year's Eve celebration. He's like, yeah, police aren't happy. The neighbors aren't happy. But what can you do? And I'm like, make lines in your parking lot. Move to an area zoned for that kind of traffic.

Follow the laws that they keep finding you for fucking defying about where this kind of shit is supposed to happen. You unfathomable asshole. Oh, sorry. I don't usually get this mad about traffic ordinance by a laser. Yeah. No, it's fair. But so then we get our, we get this montage of their New Year's Eve service starting with Alex exercising a bunch of demons. Yeah. Is this the gay guy? Yes. Right. The first guy he gets is a guy who's had some gays, some dreams about some gay shit.

Now what I love the most about this is that Alex very clearly explains to this man what to pretend beforehand. And we watch that happen. Right. He's like, now we don't believe in possession. I don't get all into Blair that to say when I ask you your name, you're supposed to say your real name and not your real name. He just does that right in front of everybody. And they're like, this is not a god damn it. Come on, man. I'm going to give you a square. I can wing this. Don't wing it.

Do not wing it. Please. Sorry. Is this the guy that they use the witness protection boy? Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. Apparently they're like the demon wouldn't sign a waiver for the movie and they were like, yeah, we have to play all this. Technically right now he is a demon. And they use that voice patch later. So this guy goes up on stage, whatever Santa Claus hips to rap, rabbi guys trying to like exercise his demon. He's like, okay, explain your demon.

And then the voice match later kicks in and he's like, I heard a wet dream. I couldn't stop. I have some great feelings. Well, right, but that's the thing is there wasn't just any wet dream. It was a gay wet dream because he says I had a sex dream and then he's like, and I've left that lifestyle, right? And this is where so Alex is going to do his little, his little stick. And he's got, he's like, you know, he exercises the generational curse of perversion. Mm-hmm. Whatever that means.

gay grandpa. I love that he had to give him a few stage directions during the thing. Oh, yeah. He's like, lift your hands. No, but consider it. Actually, literally, literally, I just told you to do it. I didn't know it. He actually has to get the, he's like, go, demon, go, go. And the guy doesn't do anything. And he's going, he just has to keep going, go, go, go, man, go, go, go, go. Now. You're doing a grunt, though. You hear me doing a low, you're doing a show. We are doing.

And they kept, they kept the voice modulator on. So this guy doing any sort of fake grunting noise. He's like, yeah. Yeah, right. It was amazing. But what we're watching is Christian Bullshito, right? So they start like doing like, they make a hand gesture and the person with the demons falls down and shit. It's just, yeah, it's just people playing along with their dumb shit. I just, I have to point this out.

At one point in this exorcism montage, there's a guy who just very clearly like had too many chicken wings. He's just like, you know, when they tell you you get two sandwiches for five, nine, nine, nine. I'm going to eat the moat. Yeah. We're going to indigestion. That was fun. The montage of fake dry heaving plus one guy being like, oh my god, this went really badly. I'm having a bad day. Seriously, patreon goal. I will take so much Ipacac and go to a girl. Oh, yes. So we just chug it.

We just put water bottles in it like it's vodka. And me and Eli will stand outside and just like gesture our hands at people as they wait to get in and kind of like subtle ways and stuff. Where you are. Mudder, pseudo let. I will stand by me. Them so hard. Yeah. So he's between the coffee animals of the Ipac, I'm worried. I'm worried. I'm worried that kings that aren't being expressed. Machivellian. I have demons. I do. Yeah. But they assure us.

Oh, there's also this great like Greg's wife wants to fuck Alex. And then he's like, I'm going to go back to the moment here. Oh, my god, the whole movie. It's so good though. Cause like he says like, yeah, you know, there's a point there were out of Alex was exercising demons and my wife just stopped and stared at his thighs just looked at them and her tongue kept coming out. She started to chew and she wasn't wearing. Wasn't having a gun. And then her thoughts crying. Yes. He does. He does.

He's crying. So powerful. It was so powerful. How much my wife loved his demons. So happy right now. Not that. So happy. I'm going to check out the master jealousy workbook. Laughing actually. So yeah. So, so then so Greg starts his wrap up, right? He starts to tell us when he hopes people will take away from this documentary. And I'm genuinely curious. I have no idea what I'm supposed to take away from this documentary.

But he explains the most important thing is that the devil knows that he's going to help. And I'm like, isn't he already in? I thought he was already there. Let's get in some kind of transitive. I guess I don't know. Yeah. But he said, but Greg explains that Jesus defeated Satan conditionally. Right. Like it's not all the way to feed. He's most of the way taking care of you. Still need to come every week and get your demons taken out.

Right. It's like when you're playing Katana and one player is very obviously winning, but you kind of got to finish the game. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Exactly. He's like, you know, hey, and look, it doesn't matter if you might be good, you might crucify your flesh every day, whatever the fuck that means. But you know, God will punish you for shit that your dad did and your grandpa and your great-grandfather. I'm like, that's because he's the bad guy though, right? The bad guy, right.

And he's like, you're probably wondering, let me cover a couple more things in case it didn't get you. My children have nightmares. Why do I need medications of yes and a kind? He's trying to convince us that our children having nightmares is our fault for not being Christian enough. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then Isaiah cuts in and he explains, he's like, hey, look, if you read the Bible, it's super clear that Christians are supposed to be able to do miracles.

If we can't do miracles, then the Bible isn't true. And I'm like, that is correct. Yup, you got it Isaiah. You're so close, buddy. Yup. You're so close. And then Greg explains that Satan has deceived us all, but the church most of all. So I guess we're at least winning in that, right? Oh, God. This whole section was so long. It's just a montage of each idiot, including Greg, getting to say the rest of their rambling nonsense that got cut from the earlier thing, but now they put it back in.

I was just like, nope, not I'm playing with my Lego Archaeopteryx now. Later, I was just going to say if I can read Heath's notes, it's not listening, not listening, playing with my Lego dinosaur. I liked that Eli wasn't even going to try to pronounce Archaeopteryx right there. That's not a sorkey being eye doctor. That makes no sense. Seriously, at this point, I'm hearing Greg Locke as a trombone making fun of a different trombone. Yeah. That's you.

Yeah. Yeah. But then, and then fucking, we get a black and white undemon named, right? We get artsy with it for a second. And then Greg's really going to bring it home with more semi coherent fucking rambling. Look, one time I met a preacher and he said to me, come on, man. Can you believe that? And the devil he's throwing every weapon at me. He used CNN on me. Yep. Yep. To say you CNN against you, you used controversy against you, right?

Yeah. But take away Trump and COVID and my homophobia and I wrote my notes. I wish that I could. Greg, I really would. I don't want you to know. Greg, he's like, it was never about the controversy. It was never about making the skating atheist guys make fun of my coffee order, right? It was always about leading people to Jesus. And then so we start, we back away from Anakin. This is supposed to be this triumphant fucking shot.

We have this drone shot of his tent and all the porta potty's that his congregation has to settle for because he's cheap and disgusting. The end, right? And you can count the 40 cars of all the people that are there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But now it's not over. It's never quite over, right? The porta potty's are actually pretty comfortable. Yeah. It's a no smell as bad as you would have a great guy who cleans them. And I should point out that these are like right next to the tent too, right?

So like obviously on a hot day, it's going to smell like porta potty and and bull vomit, you know, porta potty, turns to the other porta potty man. They're really full of shit in there. Am I right? Well, sorry. I got a demon of punts. You all made a thing that for you. So and then we get the credits. Now during the credits though, his wife shows up. Greg's wife. She's like also, yada, yada. I just I don't know. I'm like heath at this point. I'm playing with my Lego angula source.

I'm incapable of being attention to her boring ass testimony about demons. It's very clear he finished the movie and he was like, well, there it is. And she was like, you cut the part where I said my testimony. He was like, what? No. That's I was saving yours is for the best. You know, however, one is really paying attention during the credits. That's what we're doing. Maybe if you didn't like Alex Bgani like a whore. Close your damn legs. You want to fucking movie more. Wayne the truck.

I have to talk about one moment of the credits though because it's just people taught. It's literally like stuff that didn't make the movie credits. At the end, they have an outtake, which is a guy saying something that's very deep in meaningful and then he goes, that was really good, right? It's a good fucking thing. Why would you show us that? Yeah, right. Cause he's like, you know, we don't build audiences.

We build armies, but he doesn't wait long enough after he's done to start talking about what a great job he's done. And thereby ruins the fucking day. Oh, I was good for our movie. We don't believe any of this shit. We are con men and liars. Can we start the chinning? Con men, con men, liar, liar. So we have fun. I'm having gay sex with my assistant. Con men and liars. Shut up, man. Shut up. All right. So to know what we obviously have a lot of demons.

If we've learned nothing else today is that we have a lot of demons. Do you guys think you have a, like, a main one, like who, who chairs the demon meeting inside your body? Oh, definitely demon of pornography. He's like, he's basically running the place. Yeah, sure. Okay. Well, I guess I have a generational one. My demon is fucking Amelia Earhart back in the day. I have my niece, grandmother. Yeah. So well done. Basically, I've had sex with Amelia Earhart. Really? Honestly, I think about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's one degree of separation. I'm not a review of come out in Jesus name, but that's not going to do it for the episode yet because we still need to work up the courage to do it again. So Eli, tell us what's on deck? Two children from the future traveled to ancient times to witness major events in religious history. That's right. We'll be watching the El Contari era story that is the golden laws. Happy science, Cole, baby. Oh, I'm equal parts excited and dreading it.

So with that to look forward to and dread, we're going to bring episode four 57 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon owners that helped make the show go. If you got any counter yourself and looking there, you can make a per episode donation of patreon.com slash God off on there by your early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five star review and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms.

If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating ad, the citation ad, D&D minus and the scapegoat available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, you can get them on God off on movies. GMO.com Tim Ruppeson takes care of our social media. Our theme song is written in the form of Ryan Snotnik, Beavil, Drafts on Mars. All the other music is written in the form of our audio, audio, audio, and more and carcabees. We're permissioned.

Thanks again for giving us a check out this week for Heathen, right, Neelah, Busting, I'm an illusionist, promise to work harder or another check next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. When Greg Locke and his wife are together, she thinks about hipster David Cross exercising and demon to speed things up. She sure does. A significant percent of the crowd shots that we saw died of COVID. Greg Locke coffee order still manages to be the worst thing about him.

I bet if we moved to a decimal based time, seconds would be like a better amount of time. Like seconds are too damn long. Sorry. Is there a decimal based time proposition? Yeah, yeah, where you'd have 10 hours each with 100 minutes and 100 seconds or something like that.

I don't remember how it works out, but there's a, there's a, and the second would be it just, it would be quick or it would be like a, you know, instead of one Mississippi, it would be like, you know, fucking one miss or whatever. Well, yeah, yeah, it's really the good, I was like desperately trying to come up with a two syllable state and couldn't even though I live in one. Um, yeah, yeah, just everyone I came up with, there's like, well, God, David, that's not right either.

Oh, that's a good, a fucking playground football. So bad. What the hell? Keith, use your autism. What is how long is the second if it's decimal time? Do it now. Go. Demon of distraction. I review you. Now, let's do the show. The preceding podcast was a production of puzzle in a thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2024, copyright service.