Let's get one thing out of the way right up front: dirty talk isn't dirty. It's actually an intimate form of communication to let your spouse into your heart and mind. It's a way to express the erotic part of you with your lover. It's about using your words to arouse. The nice thing about married sex, is that it's a place you can go where things don't always have to be so cleaned up, you don't have to be so buttoned up. You can be less formal with each other and use language with each other you ...
May 10, 2024•45 min•Ep. 186
In this episode will get a talk about how to make from behind sex positions, such as Doggy style, better. We'll talk about sex toys. We'll talk about unrealistic sexual fantasies. We'll talk about exploring your own body for sexual understanding. We'll also talk about how to treat delayed or premature ejaculation. This is going to be a really fun episode. Just the other day, my wife and I were talking about how we, of all people were probably the least likely people on the planet to start a podc...
May 03, 2024•26 min
After recording last week's episode, but Dr. Glenn and Phyllis hill, we stayed on and chat a little longer. We got started talking about sex dates and how Glen and Phyllis look forward to this time. So I suggested we record another episode to share this fun and creative concept with you. If you miss last week's episode, we talked a lot about emotional connection. This week's episode is all about this sexual connection, and it's a fun one and full of so many nuggets! If you're like, we should tot...
Apr 26, 2024•48 min•Ep. 184
Understanding and making sense of our emotions is absolutely essential to living well. We have parts of our brain that are responsible for making sense of our emotions. We also have parts of our brain dedicated to mapping the emotional state of those around us. Sometimes couples come to me for coaching because they don't feel emotionally connected to their spouse. There are a myriad of reasons why they're struggling in this area. So I invited Dr. Glen hill, a marriage therapist, and his wife, Ph...
Apr 19, 2024•57 min•Ep. 183
I'm humbled that you'd trust me with your most urgent and private questions--I receive anonymous questions every day through our website. We address a handful of these questions today and I'll plan another Q &A episode in a few weeks. Sometimes I'll combine a few related questions together to address things more efficiently. (Go to our website to submit your questions.) As I address these questions today, I hope you see a common thread in everything I share. It's my belief that really good s...
Apr 12, 2024•28 min•Ep. 182
Picture this. The journey of building an intimate marriage is much like a road trip through winding paths and scenic routes. Sometimes there's traffic jams. Sometimes there are stretches of long, boring highways or lonely, dark nighttime drives. Sometimes there are flat tires and detours. And then there are beautiful vistas, new destinations at thrilling speeds, and awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping scenes that move you in a profound way, leaving you forever changed. My guest today is Dr. Julie Slatte...
Apr 05, 2024•43 min•Ep. 181
I feel called to this important work that I do in Get Your Marriage On! It is extremely important and meaningful work to me. The changes I've experienced in my own marriage were too good to keep to myself, and I wanted to share it with others. In some ways, I feel like I'm a missionary again--sharing the good news of the gospel to others. In fact, I strongly believe that there are many parallels between sexual development and spiritual development, and I'm not alone in sharing that opinion. Toda...
Mar 29, 2024•51 min•Ep. 180
I believe sex is a very powerful language. Just think an immense amount of information is communicated between two people in any sexual interaction. Last year, my wife and I read the book Replenish , by Tammy Hill. Among other things, this book describes a practice called orgasmic meditation. We went away for a weekend last fall and decided to give it a try. It was amazing for us because it made sex so much more about a meaningful connection and communication between us, rather than just rushing...
Mar 22, 2024•28 min•Ep. 179
Can you relate? Growing up in a good, Christian family, you conversations about sex were mostly about biological reproduction or God's word on chastity. Perhaps those conversations served you well as a teenager, but after married, you're left with a lot of questions and maybe even painful experiences as the realities of sex and marriage didn't fit with what you thought it would be. I used to think sexuality and spirituality were incompatible. However, after digging into our own Christian theolog...
Mar 15, 2024•39 min•Ep. 178
For anyone listening that wishes intimacy was less conflict and more connection, this episode is for you! I messed up Two weeks ago, I released a podcast episode about dead bedrooms. I read an email from a man who is in a lot of pain around his relationship. So I addressed areas where I could see that he could work on in his relationship, but unfortunately, that episode lacked compassion and I was wrong . So I want another chance to do it again properly this time . I've been there before I've be...
Mar 08, 2024•49 min•Ep. 177
Today we get to talk about some really exciting topics as we answer your questions from the anonymous question form on our website: How to deal with sex and intimacy while you're pregnant and postpartum. What to do when you're hesitant about taking sexy photos or nude photos of each other. What to do when you have a spouse as obsessed with swinging and you disagree with it. What to do when a masturbation habit is interfering with intimacy and pleasure for the couple. I really appreciate your wil...
Mar 01, 2024•31 min
I'm excited to answer some anonymous questions I have received from listeners. Some topics we cover include the following: Learning to dirty talk and flirt more How to deal with undesireable sexual side effects from medications Self-Soothing Overcoming gridlock The use of bondage in a marriage bed When grief affects sexuality Masturbation and more! If you would like to submit an anonymous question for me to answer on the podcast, on Instagram, or in an email, you can do so on our website . --- W...
Feb 16, 2024•29 min•Ep. 174
We recently hit a major milestone with this podcast: 1 million downloads! Thank you for your support! Let's be honest here. Initiating sex is not easy at all. We want the other person to take charge and initiate, right? We worry, how are we going to be received? There's also so much of ourselves wrapped up in what it means to initiate, or not initiate, sex. And past experiences tend to influence our reluctance to initiate as well. Yet, the reality is if one of you doesn't initiate sex, sex is ne...
Feb 09, 2024•45 min•Ep. 173
Do you wish you could have more powerful, more pleasurable orgasms? Or to not need to cross your legs when you sneeze? Or jump on the trampoline like you used to before kids? Studies show only about 30% of women have an orgasm from penetration. But perhaps that number could be higher if your pelvic floor (the muscles in and around your vagina) were in better condition. Research also shows that the stronger and healthier your pelvic floor muscles are, the more pleasure you’ll find from orgasms (t...
Feb 02, 2024•36 min•Ep. 172
Today I want to talk about embracing your eroticism. This is a beautiful part of being human; your eroticism is going to be unique to you just as your fingerprints are unique to you! In this episode, we're going to address the following common questions: What is eroticism? Why is eroticism such an important part of a thriving marriage? Why are most people afraid of it? How do you figure out what your eroticism is? How do you figure out what gets you going? How do you cultivate more of this goodn...
Jan 26, 2024•24 min•Ep. 171
DIY or professionally done, boudoir photography has the potential to empower women and open their minds and hearts to their own inherent beauty, as well as add an extra spark and intimacy to a marriage. I discuss this and more with my guest today, Sierra Beltran, an experienced photographer from Arizona. In this podcast episode, we talk about the following in our deep dive on boudoir photography: How it can benefit you and your marriage What to expect What common objections there are to having b...
Jan 19, 2024•42 min•Ep. 170
Sex can be hard for couples for many reasons. And if you feel like it's hard for you right now, you're not alone. Sex is so highly personal and it's a very anxious behavior, yet it's also at the core of who we are. So it's like this dichotomy: we want to be close to another person, yet, in order to get there, we have to overcome a lot of nervousness and anxiety in order to enjoy that. And by the way, sex is so much more than just two bodies bumping into each other; our minds and our spirits are ...
Jan 12, 2024•29 min•Ep. 169
Who in your relationship has more of a say in general, who in your relationship organizes themselves around the other more? Are there any unaddressed resentments that you deal with in your relationship right now, do some things feel just one sided in your marriage? Couples that thrive have a shared sense of power in the relationship power in this context is defined as note shared power shared influence. One person can receive the influence from the other. The moment we start creating hierarchies...
Jan 05, 2024•50 min•Ep. 168
Five years ago, around the campfire with friends, one man told me about this amazing trip he and his wife made to Thailand where they camped out on the beach in this pristine tropical bay. And another friend told me about his trip to the Dominican Republic at is all inclusive resort, just he and his wife. And another guy talked about this cruise, he and his wife went on and all these fun and exciting trips with just their wives. And I was so, feeling sorry for myself. I had extreme case of FOMO....
Dec 29, 2023•37 min•Ep. 167
For a lot of couples, Christmastime is a really stressful time of the year. There's a lot of end of year projects for work and school; there's also gift shopping and preparations for guests and meals and Christmas cards and dinners and parties, and the list just keeps going on and on and on. And if you have children, it just multiplies the complexity by every child that you have in your home. But Christmastime can also be a very special, sexy time of year. Think about it. Think of all the romant...
Dec 22, 2023•20 min•Ep. 166
There's something magical about setting aside three to four days away with your spouse, where you can relax and have fun and enjoy working on aspects of your relationship that are going to give you a big boost and forward momentum. And our Get Your Marriage On! retreat next March could be just the thing to help renew and revitalize your marriage like it did for the past attendees you'll hear from in this episode. Find out more about what is included, what the retreat is like, and most importantl...
Dec 15, 2023•26 min•Ep. 165
Picture this: It's a typical day. You're lying in bed. Snoozing your alarm clock for the third time, your resolve to get to the gym weakening. You were interrupted again last night from a child that needed you. And as you awake the demands of the day, press on you. Lists appear in your mind what shopping needs to be done, which child has which appointment, the field trip that you volunteered to go on, the assignment at church you agreed to do, and so on and so on. You get out of bed already tire...
Dec 08, 2023•39 min•Ep. 164
Today is a Q &A episode. I get anonymous questions, which you can send me through my website , and I go through those regularly. And today we're going to address a few of the common questions that I'm getting in this podcast episode. Today, we're going to cover topics such as the following: How to get more comfortable with flirting, dirty talk wearing lingerie, etc, as a newlywed. How do you ask for things in bed? Premature ejaculation. A concern from a wife about how her husband has some ex...
Dec 01, 2023•34 min•Ep. 163
One pernicious thought the often gets in the way of our intimacy is a thought that we can put the romance and desire side of our marriage on the back burner while we raise our children. The reality is the greatest gift we can give our children right now is for us as parents to have a thriving marriage and erotic relationship that feels alive. Prioritizing desire in our relationship, within reason, has done wonders for our marriage. So today I've invited three, yes, three guests onto my podcast. ...
Nov 24, 2023•50 min•Ep. 162
To love and be loved wholeheartedly. It's life's sweetest gift. Marriages thrive when there's two forces working together love and desire. By love, I mean, the qualities like attentiveness, which is like being a good listener, kindness, a feeling of home and belonging in the relationship and loyalty. On the other hand, by desire I mean a sense of passion, excitement, pursuit, adventure, mystery, and fun. We need both of those things in a good marriage. And to really love someone and to really de...
Nov 17, 2023•42 min
Oftentimes in our quest to have a deeper, more intimate marriage, it's really not a question of whether you want to be loved or loved more. It's really a question of a capacity to love or be loved more. In my work with couples and individuals, helping them grow intimately in their marriages, one of the very first things I teach them is how to be more mindful. Most of us cruise through the day on autopilot, not quite aware of the thoughts that go through our head. However, when we develop the ski...
Nov 10, 2023•47 min•Ep. 160
Are you looking for a big shift in your relationship? The men in my coaching program continually see these shifts in amazing ways. They feel more grounded. They see themselves more clearly. They feel more confident in their own skin. They stand on their own two feet better. They're at more peace with their God-given sexuality and who they are, and their wives take notice and often make changes and adjustments themselves too. I am so excited that we are starting another men's coaching cohort on S...
Nov 03, 2023•23 min•Ep. 159
I have a background in computer science and I love writing code. Nerdy, right? The better the code, the better the program. A program can’t run better than the code it’s written from. The way we express our sexuality is the same way. We can’t out-sex ourselves beyond the thoughts we have about sex. This is one reason why I am a big believer in marriage and sex coaching. I help my clients to recognize their current thoughts about sex and their marriage, and invite them to reprogram their thoughts...
Oct 27, 2023•36 min•Ep. 158
Today I want to talk about what to do when you want to want to have sex but you don’t feel in the mood for it yet. Although it would be nice to get in the mood, you know that it’s going to take time and energy to get there, and it’s tempting to just postpone sexy time to another time when you’ll have more energy. But when you think about scheduling sex, it feels like yet another thing to add to the to-do list. So there it goes again: sex feels like work rather than play, and it gets put on the b...
Oct 20, 2023•27 min•Ep. 157
The famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” Intimate marriages require a lot of intimate contact in terms of body, mind, head, and soul. It’s also why I believe marriage, especially sex in marriage, is the most sure-fire path to grow up and mature to attain your best and highest version of yourself. The principles I want to share with you in today’s episode is that ...
Oct 13, 2023•35 min•Ep. 156
