Hello everyone and welcome to Gay Men Going Deeper. This is a podcast by the Gay Men's Brotherhood where we talk about personal development, mental health and sexuality. Today we are your hosts, we have Matt Lansadol. He is an intuitive life and spiritual coach and counselor focusing on healing and empowerment. And we also have Reno Johnston. He is a spiritual life love and business coach.
And I am Michael Deoreo, I am a life and wellness coach, specializing in sexuality, relationships and self-confidence. We each have our own private practice, but in this podcast we're sharing all of our best stuff. And today we are talking about caring for your body. The questions we'll be discussing today are, what self-care habits or practices do you swear by? What are some unconventional ways you care for your body? And what are some practical ways we can adopt a more body positive mindset?
Alright, so we're looking forward to getting into this one. Just a few reminders before we get in there. We'll be continuing this discussion in the last Thursday of the month in the Gay Men's Brotherhood Zoom Hangout. This is where we give you guys a chance to share your own thoughts on the topics we discuss here. If you join us, please go to the Facebook group, gay men's brotherhood and check out the events tab or if you're not on Facebook, that's okay.
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All right, so let's get into it. A few episodes ago, we talked about body shaming. And so today we're flipping the script and we're going to talk about how we care for our bodies. So it's a little bit different. Now I do recommend you go back and listen to that episode if you haven't already, but a few threads that I want to take from that conversation and weave into this conversation are on the topic of body image.
Which as we know in the gay community, we do tend to put a lot of focus on body image about how we look, how we present ourselves, how we want others to perceive us. And for a lot of guys that sense of self-worth is very much tied into their bodies, which may not sound so bad.
But if that's the only thing you're basing your worthiness on, then you're kind of setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship with your body and what's worse is you become a prisoner to other people's opinions, which as we know are very finicky and it's very impossible to please everyone. Now, little caveat here, it's totally okay to feel a sense of pride in your body. I certainly do. I love that.
But it just remember it's just one aspect of your being, right? But today we are going to be focusing on body. So that's where we're spending our time today. So let's talk about it. Our bodies are so, so much more than how they look. We've focused so much about what they look like in the image we put out there. But if you think about it, it's just like literally the surface.
Your body is your home for your entire life. Your body is your home. It is your vessel. It is your earth suit. While we are here, this is what we got. It is the source of your energy and your vitality. So while we're mortal, while we are alive, it is the thing that we need to engage and interact with the world around us.
I think of it as this exceptionally mind-blowing organism, not orgasm. I almost said orgasm there. Exceptional mind-blowing organism of many complex systems all working together for the one singular task of keeping you alive.
That's it. Think about that. Think about that. It makes my head spin to think about all the things that are happening in my body right now that I'm not even aware of, that I'm not even thinking about, that I'm not even conscious of. My heart's beating, my lungs are breathing. They have been for the 40 plus years that I've been alive. There are countless things happening in our, in your body right now, that you don't even know that are happening that are keeping you alive and well and healthy.
So in that context, when we think about our bodies, I do this sometimes. And then like, I think of all the mind drama that happens when like, there are some smile lines or some wrinkles or my hair is thinning or I don't like that I've gained a few pounds. And I'm like, really though, really this, this is what we're going to be worrying about. Like, these things when there's so, so much more going on beneath the surface, literally beneath the surface.
So I just think it's interesting. It's an interesting way to look at your body in that context, which we'll get more into today. So today's episode is about caring for your body. I want to give you guys some, I want to get your juices flowing by giving you three different aspects of what that could look like. And then I'm sure we'll have a lot more because I got some very smart co-host with me today.
So there's the obvious one, which is caring for it on the outside. So this could be exercising stretching skin care routine, strength training. There's also caring for it on the inside, which are things like noticing your diet, watching when you put into your body, hydrating, taking care of your immune system, getting proper sleep, doing breath work, some ideas.
And then there's one that people don't often think about, but I love, which is the way you think about your body, which is kind of a mental physical. So the way you talk to your body, I'll be talking about that a bit later, or the way you talk about your body, the way you talk to it and or about it, very important. Are you shaming your body or are you loving on it? Are you judging it or are you appreciating it?
Okay, so these are just some of the ways we're going to be talking about caring for your body. And I hope that stimulated some ideas for us to get started. So before we jump in, just one quick thing. I say this again, as a reminder for a route out there at the beginning here, your body is only one aspect of who you are. Okay, does not define you does not determine yourself worth.
There are so much more to us than our bodies, but today is, you know, we'll call body appreciation day. That's we're going to be talking about. Okay. So let's jump in and today I'm going to start off with Reno, who just got a brand new snazzy haircut. And I'm going to ask what self care habits or practices do you swear by? Well, it's interesting. Mine are so much more. Like they're kind of unrelated to the body, you know, in a way, which is, which was fascinating to me. Like I go to meetings.
You know, I spend time in nature, I connect to higher power. And there's also a practice discernment in a big way when it comes to like who I engage with what I engage with, you know, what I consume what I don't consume. And there's a lot of discernment. I think that's like a major practice for me in terms of my body that includes food, it includes information, it includes relationship, it includes environments, I spend time in.
But I think one of the one of the biggest things that I'm up to is some combination of fun, play and enjoyment as a self care practice. I think that when I really sort of zoom out and look at what I'm up to day to day. I'm really welcoming, inviting and engaging in fun, in play and in enjoyment.
You know, how I like lotion my body to how I have a shower to how I make my meals and how I eat them to, you know, even taking a moment as I'm passing through the living room to like play on the pole a little bit on the way to the kitchen or something like that. But it's really, I think one of the biggest things I'm actively practicing is enjoyment of the skin. I mean, yeah. I'm gonna leave it there. I don't leave it there.
Do you think about your body when you're doing those things or are you just doing them kind of in the body like are you actively thinking I'm doing this for my body? In the beginning, I think it started out that way. I think it started out that way. And I stayed up because so much of the way that I used to engage in self care was like a means to an end. And also, I think some of the ways in which I was engaged in practices related to my body and engaged in relating to my body were.
Like they came from a place of lack. They came from a place of like, I'm not enough or I don't love myself and I need to be better right might, you know. And then they shifted and my practices became a way that I love myself. And so I started kind of infusing all of those activities and engaging in all of those activities with love from love.
And inevitably it kind of became second nature. So yeah, I'm thinking about it sometimes. But I think most of the time because like, you know, discernment has become so ingrained in me.
And this sort of practice of enjoyment has become so ingrained in me. It's like second nature, you know, kind of like if you meditate for maybe 21 days or a month or months of the time at some point, you just kind of, you know, one clock goes off. You wake up, you hit the timer and you go, you know, you may not even use the timer. But it's just who you are. It's not what you do. Yeah. Awesome. Thanks for you. Thank you. Maddie, how are you?
Yeah. You know, I, I spent most of my, I'd say teens and 20s in dissociation. So I was, I had didn't really have a connection to my body. I was very cerebral. I'm an air sign. I'm very cerebral already. So it was quite easy for me to leave my body and just be, you know, in my head.
And I'm a relationship to my body for most of my life has been through my mind and how I think about my body. And, you know, a lot of my transformation in the last five years has been about developing a relationship to my body through my emotions, through my sensations, through understanding my needs.
And then adding, this is probably why it's been so hard actually for me to do this, make this transformation is because I have sensory processing sensitivity. So my nervous system is structured differently than other peoples that are not sensitive. And I feel things in my body with great intensity.
So all of my senses are more sensitive than somebody who's not doesn't have sensory processing sensitivity. So I feel subtle shifts in my body very easily. I feel subtle moods in my body sensations, like if there's a tag on the back of my shirt, like it'll drive me mental, like I'll have to cut it off. And I was like this as a kid. And my mom used to put me in wool sweaters without anything underneath. And I would just like lose my mind when I was a child.
So with that being said, like comfort and care for my body is so, so important to me, like almost to the point where I'm anal retentive about it because I have to be. I know what works for me and I know what doesn't work for me from so much trial and error. And so my self care practices are very dear to me. And I have a lot of quirky ones and things that I need in order to take care of myself. So I think the the two biggest things for me is when it comes to caring for my body is listening to it.
And then taking that that data and living intentionally. So to me, that means getting more still. My mind's very fast and my body's more slow. So I have to get more still and I have to listen to it into my needs. And then I have to build my life intentionally in a way that is conducive to the things that are coming up. If I violate that, I end up with a dysregulated nervous system. And then that leads to me feeling emotionally dysregulated.
It leads to me being irritable. It leads to me having mood issues like all sorts of things like it's it's really, really interesting. So, and then so some of my work, some of the things that I would say self care habits or practices that I swear by. One one of the big things for me that I'm really and I'm really meeting this now, but I think I was always like this even when I was younger, I was very sexual.
And so feeling sexy, being sexy, playing with that erotic kind of eros or that that sensual energy inside of me is really important. And I'm very visually stimulated that way. So I like to take selfies.
You know, and share them with people that are like, you know, that feel safe to me, that sort of thing. But it's even the process of taking selfies or things like that, it can feel really. And I don't even need to share them. It can be very arousing for me. So that's something that I can use to to care for my body because caring for my body does mean
exploring and embracing a rousal because that's a big one for me. So pleasure, like pleasure is this like new thing for me right now, like I'm just like I'm meeting pleasure in a new way. And I think that's because I really, I'm not dissociating anymore and when we dissociate, we're actually cutting the cord from being able to feel pleasure because pleasure happens in our body, right. And we're not connected to our body, our pleasure.
And receptors will be blunted, right. We won't, we won't feel it as much. So, so that's a big one. The other one would be feeling my emotions. It's so huge for me because I don't like feeling my emotions. It's something I can easily bypass, like I can just go in. But then what ends up happening is I ruminate. And I overthink and I know when I'm ruminating and overthinking, I bypassed emotions and I need to go back to the drawing board and I'm like, okay, what did I bypass here?
Because ruminating and overthinking leads to me. It leads to insomnia. It leads to all sorts of things. And I, it's so, you know, that's the, that's the downside to dissociating for me is that it leads to high, high mental activity. So feeling my emotions is one of the greatest acts of self care that I can possibly engage in. And again, that takes me slowing down and tuning in and being humble and meeting myself and doing the things that I think a lot of us tend to bypass.
And then the other one is I like to be touched and pampered. So I will, I allocate a certain amount of funds every month so I can go and engage in some sort of activities or treatment. So every Friday, usually I have either a massage or reflexology or acupuncture or raky or something. And so every Friday after works, I'm usually pretty white after we record these and then I have some meetings and then I usually go to my appointment and it's the best way to kick off the weekend.
So that's one of my most favorite things I love being pampered. And then one of them that I have here is that I don't eat refined sugar or caffeine. So because of my nervous system, if I have refined sugar or caffeine, it basically throws me into like a highly activated state.
And I find that I don't sleep well. I grind my teeth, my nervous system. I feel like I'm vibrating almost like when I when I do have that. So I replace my sugar with things like maple syrup and date syrup and these sorts of things. And then the last one I would say would be my energetic body because I think that is really important. Like we have the physical body. We have the material kind of this realm, but our physical body is encased with our a theoretical body or a work body or our shock,
like these sorts of things are energetic field. That for me because of the type of work that I do, I do energetic work that it's really important for me to care for that part of my body. So it's like no different than you having a shower at the end of the day, you clean your body.
Like I have to clean my energetic field because I'm working in the fields of other people and you know I'm very sensitive to my environment, even even in my complex building that I mean I can feel the energy of the people around me people above me people.
So it's very interesting and I can often feel when my neighbors are in conflict. There's a couple that lives right here and I can feel the energy of them. So I'm doing things like smudging and working with crystals and I have like Epsom Salt baths and I use Florida water.
So just lots of different things that I've accumulated over the years of doing this this type of work. But yeah, I would say probably smudging with like sage or palo Santo would probably be my my number one thing that I used to care for my my energetic body.
Yes. I just want to say like all of that is so gorgeous like everything you just said sounds so yummy and I and I love the world you're in and also I just wanted like acknowledge you and recognize you for cultivating that world, you know, because I really emphasize with what I perceive to be the part of you that like had to get there. Like to the place where you're doing all this and that's really special.
Yeah, thank you. It's interesting that you say that because I used to feel a lot of shame around this like I'm boring or you know because even if I like date people or have friends like they'll be like oh, like comment let's do this thing or whatever and I'm like like for example, go to a concert usually isn't really something that I would do it throws me into.
I'm just like a nervous system gets thrown off and those are so I've had to learn that I can't do certain things because of my nervous system. But I focused on the things I can do and the things that I can do really well like I can tune into energetic grids and I can help heal do healing work and these sorts of things because of the nervous system that I've been gifted.
I've had to build my life through structure regimen and through restriction and that in my 20s that was really hard for me and I didn't listen to my nervous system I just bypassed it and I did drugs and alcohol and parties and I'm probably undoing some of that damage that I did to my nervous system now, which is you know a lot of the work and the healing I'm doing is actually repairing my nervous system and learning how to befriend it.
So thank you. I take your acknowledgement and recognition to heart. Yeah, feels good. Beautiful stuff guys. Yeah, there are like the next questions about some of the unconventional ones and I feel like those to me at least from my from my perspective talking about what you have is not what I would consider the most conventional but I love it.
So you know, I guess minor a lot more basic. There's the obvious ones which I talk about all the time like I try to get outside and walk very difficult to do in the winter here in Toronto, which is why I'm not going to be here for too much longer for the winter.
But also like just the simple things like you know the stuff that we all know, but I think what's interesting is we all know like what the what we have to do like eat well exercise drink water gets sleep at the end of the day that's pretty much the basics.
But there's so many times that I didn't do that and I used to not do that not do that even though I know that but those you watch the podcast you know this trusty thing is always full of water constantly all day every day I've got water like it makes me pee a lot fine, but it's always there. I walk everywhere again this is a bit of a blessing for being downtown. I don't I don't have a car. I don't need a car. I walk and I bike.
So kind of like what Reno was saying about how you don't really think about it. I don't think I'm doing this for my body, but I've created a lifestyle such that it just is part of it and I'm kind of doing it as a byproduct, which is really nice. I think that's the best way to do it.
But I have to say my favorite in terms of a self-care practice is for all my Jim bros out there physical fitness. You all know I love that you guys all know I enjoy the gym I talk about all the time and I'm going to shed out all my Jim bros listening right now because I know they are.
Side note for those of you that are that do work out my gym and see me I love when you come and say hi to me and I really don't mind because sometimes I was like I'm so sorry to part of you. I'm like I don't know what's okay. It's because I have this very serious scale when I'm working out because I'm not in my mind. But anyway, guys have come up to me at the gym and like showed me their phone and like look I'm listening to you right now.
And it's just a bit of a mind fuck but I love it. And so for actually on this topic these podcasts little shadow to ourselves are the perfect length for someone who's going on a nice walk on nature walk or even at the gym like they're there a good length.
So bring us to the gym with you. Okay, anyway, off my little soap box there. Now if the gym isn't your thing that's okay. I know there's like a hundreds of ways that you could care for your body and like a fitness way that doesn't even require you to set foot in a gym. But I am just one of those people who I actually genuinely like it like I used to not used to think I have to go. But I've talked with that before I've kind of switched my mindset on that.
But now I actually genuinely enjoy going. I love the feel of it. I love the sweat the pump that feel after not to mention how you look after is always very lazy too. But it's not just about the aesthetic. I will say that like obviously that is a wonderful byproduct that I love. But there's the release of the end orphans just feeling good of it.
I tend to go with sometimes I go at the end of the day after I've been stressed out yesterday was a great example. I had like a really stressful situation happened in like the middle of my day. And luckily I had I had some time in the afternoon I said fuck it. I'm going in the gym. And guess what I went I like took out all my. At that that was like anger. And I took it to the gym and I let it a lot out and I had a nice little sauna steam after and I felt great after the fact.
So other than that it promotes for me that sense of discipline like once for me it is it is truly a habit like it's something that I've built into my. Something I want to do regularly so it builds that self discipline self trust. Some studies suggest that it actually helps with neurogenesis or neurogenesis and neuroplasticity so brain health. I've seen some studies I don't know how much that has been proven but I'm going to go with it.
Another benefit for sure for me is that I sleep so well after a good workout. And it doesn't have to be work out. I will say this in the summertime I cycle a lot I kind of get my fitness from cycling. I have a bike and I live in Toronto which is a great biking city. And so I bike a lot often and that also kind of does the same thing is just moving my body.
Yeah so I think that's my thing that's my thing and I'm not saying that has to be your thing and there's a lot of people like I hate it Jim I Jim rose. But it just is something I happen to really enjoy. So that's my number one. You're such a you're such a hot. Okay but I want to ask you something when you went to the gym yesterday the boss team what would you listen to?
I'm like what was he listening to music? Yeah it's either a podcast or music but you're music because it just gets just puts the energy of me like it gets me going. Yeah I was listening to music yesterday and what name one track? The new Ariana song. Yeah it's cool. It's not. It's a cult. Yes. It is. Yeah totally. Love it. Okay I was like what is in his ears yesterday?
It could be anything though it could be disco it could be musical theater it could be like sad songs it could be some like all these they really just. Yeah you'd be surprised how diverse that is. That's awesome. Let's talk about some of the unconventional ones though. So you know obviously we talked about diet nutrition, exercise, sleep, hydration. Okay cool.
Like I said I think you guys already got some of the unconventional ones but I'm curious to know more what are some unconventional ways maybe that you care for your body? I want this to stimulate some ideas within our listeners and viewers. Yeah okay so the first thing that comes up is I coined it and maybe this word exists and like people are practicing the search but sensualism.
Kind of very very sensual sensory person right very tuned into like my capacity to hear and to smell and to taste and to like touch you know and to see like and I indulge in it.
So you know sensualism to me is a practice of really like really connecting to and indulging in one essential capacity so like when I'm walking I'll stop and smell the flowers or sometimes when I'm passing bushes or trees like I'll actually like touch everything that leaves my environment I'll run my fingers across the the chain link fence for example when I'm passing by fence.
I'm really tuning into my environment and I'm really taking it in I take time to savor smells for example when I'm peeling an orange like smell the like the oils in the sense from the oranges and as I'm peeling it and even as I'm saying all of this my body is just like so turned on like my mouth is even starting to water because it's just so yummy and I feel like yeah this it just.
Like this body is about utility and also like we get to enjoy it you know and and here's all this like lovely stimuli this delicious stimuli to like indulging you know with with moderation of course right with balance but that's one practice the other is self appreciation.
I'm just speaking love into the mirror and into the water that I drink every day so like you know I'll take time to look at myself in the mirror when I'm getting ready and like sometimes up like I'll be like you look really fucking hot today you know yeah like damn like look at your body today or just I love you like just I love you you know and I'll speak that into my water I'll speak that to myself and sometimes if I'm around people
I'll say like you guys I look really hot today you know and like I feel really good today and if you've got great friends they'll gas you up they'll jump on that bang making with you and be like yeah actually you do you look fly you know you're glowing you're amazing
and then the third one I call sexy work and you know Matt had kind of touched on this earlier but like I really love the practice of like feeling and being sexy so you know I'll dance in the living room like on the pole or sometimes I'll imagine that someone sitting like there's a chair in the living room and sometimes I'll imagine someone sitting in it
and I'll give this imaginary person like a lap dance in the show you know when I'm in my room and I'm putting my lotion on and I have music on and I'm like rubbing myself down and this really like sensual such sexual and it's just like it's so yummy and then I'm gonna share something and it's not so edgy for me to share this but I'm like I'm gonna say this with the other day I um I got off to a picture of myself
so I was like laying in bed pleasureing myself to a picture of myself naked and it was really really hot and loved it that was like wow okay like this is fine so yeah those are some of my unconventional ways of caring for my body yeah what inspired the self um pleasureing looking at yourself I took a picture yeah and um I was I was laying in bed and I was I don't know I was thinking about like material to to pleasure myself with and then I saw my own picture and I was like perfect
here it is yeah it's for you yeah that's great and honestly I do it again yeah yeah you should take a video because I've like filmed sex with with like some of my partners and stuff onto my archives and you know self-pleasured from that and it's like super hot like it's so hot and to get turned on by yourself like that's so hot yeah good for you yeah thank you yeah
I mean that's pretty unconventional I would say for me yeah I don't think I've ever done that but I've done it to videos of me yeah yeah that I've done it for viewers out there please go ahead and put us then put your own ideas in the comments section not read about now
love you from that because I love I love learning from other people like this stimulate so many great ideas within me yeah yeah masturbating in the mirror I've a mirror in my bedroom that can be fun too um okay so some of mine um they're definitely not as edgy as Reno's
um one thing that I love to do like I said in my in the last year was an Epsom salt bath or a baking soda bath so usually after my days I love baths just like one of the best things in the world and um so like two cups of Epsom salts or two cups of baking soda with usually some lavender
essential oil um is a really nice light some candles it's just like one of the best ways for me to take care of my body and I usually do that more in the winter than I do in the summer summers are usually too hot here to to one of bath
um but I love essential oils or something for me and there are some oils that are very sensual so I like that like to play with the centrality I love rose oil it's one of the oils that I wear daily um it's hot it's the highest vibrational oil that you can that you can buy um it's uh it's pretty pretty beautiful um it's very expensive those who I think the one the bottle I have is like um only 5% rose oil the rest joebo joebo oil but uh yeah it's it's a very very nice um
um I connect with with the elements I think that's one of the biggest ways for me uh again it's you know I'm an empath I do empathic healing work and mother nature empaths for me so I spend usually my weekends in nature in some way shape or form I do a lot of grounding
so I work with like trees and rocks and rivers I would say those are the three primary elements that I that I work with and trees probably the biggest one so I love to like touch trees or I have plants all in my house and I'll just kind of like you know love them and let them love me
and um things like that so that's a big one um and cold plunging so in the summers I'm cold plunging all the time um in the rivers around here um in the winters I've actually done some winter cold plunging here um but I haven't lately so what I'll do is at the end of my showers all all blast um the cold and uh that's just really good for my vagus nerve so it's like for people that maybe you do overthink or you do find yourself going into fight or flight
um you're highly anxious these sorts of things uh cold exposure therapy can be good for stimulating the vagus nerve which basically starts here and runs throughout your whole body and it's in charge of fight or flight and different sort of uh parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system responses so getting and developing a relationship with our vagus nerve can really be a game changer when it comes to emotions and understanding ourselves and these sorts of
things on a somatic level um and then I work with a naturopath so I've been vocal about this on this podcast I'm not a pharmaceutical guy I don't take pharmaceuticals um so I work with a naturopath and I nurture my body through different sort of herbs and um
homopathic remedies and these sorts of things and um and so I love that I love uh nurturing my body with things so supplements is another way that I um but I take care of my body um and then one other one that I put down here is food sensitivity testing because um I had uh and have a lot of food allergies um probably because of the sensory processing stuff uh I just have a very sensitive body of you know and um so learning about those sensitivities has helped me
tremendously to care for my body because um I actually started seeing a naturopath because I was eating eggs I was eating six eggs every day three in the morning and then three later in the evening for dinner I was working out a ton and I started to develop like hanker sores all over my tongue like at one point I had 20 kanker sores on my tongue and it was the most painful thing I could barely eat and uh so I
went to my a naturopath that's actually the the when I first started seeing a naturopath um and so she did food allergy testing and I have a significant allergy to eggs and I was eating them constantly so I off within a week of me not eating eggs my body started to heal my mood actually it
got better because allergies can be really directly related to mood um things like that um and then the last one I put here is singing um singing for me is like um a beautiful way to connect with my body because I am much more in tune with my body so I can actually feel my every diaphragm in my body
and the way it's working and opening and closing with my voice and things like that so I think singing has been one of the beautiful most you know powerful ways that I've learned how to work with my vagus nerve and work with my system and things like that so I love singing I'm always singing and it's it's a beautiful way for me to express what's going on in my body yeah I'll talk about you Michael yeah well Reno took a lot of mine
yeah Reno those are really guys very very similar um uh yeah uh I don't I want to repeat them but um I guess one other one I guess in them in the mindset way which I think has been my my biggest shift as I had said before um but this might not come as surprised to you guys but like I will literally
talk to my body as if it is another being even though obviously I am my body but it really helps me differentiate that I have a relationship with it but I think of it as like another thing um I'm not dissociating but I mean like I think about it that way because it helps me um so you know
I like to visualize this relationship with it not the way I talk but we have fun like I talk to my body like I talk to my brain I talk about that a lot of podcasts too um we have a lot of fun and we verb it spicy with each other but more importantly it's the way that I listen to it so it's a
two-way communication and this is the part that was like her 30 plus years of my life I didn't know that my body was talking to me I didn't know I didn't care and I was basically taking it for granted and exploiting the shit out of it I wore it down luckily I survived so thank you body for that
um but now we have a much better loving relationship where I listen to it you know they say listen to your body I get that like before that was just a saying the people said but I'm like oh no no I get what that means so um I know like I can feel noses and yeses in my
body if that makes sense like if someone asks me to do something my body will say no no we're not doing that or yeah that's a yes for me right so like kind of like expansiveness or contraction um but just listening to it in other ways like if I need sleep if I need you know a great way is
for example so I'm like okay we're gonna go get another drink you out one body would be like no Michael oh you don't honey um and listening to that instead of just saying yes automatically you're saying yes because I want or saying yes because everybody else is just listening to that or like
when it's my bedtime sometimes I go to bed at like 9 o'clock like my body says this time we're just not gonna argue we're gonna go we're gonna take a nap that's that so having more of that I don't know if it's the most unconventional but like again for me I understood that conceptually for a long
time but now it's very much more practice and I guess the last thing I'd add to Reno's uh you as both I have actually talked about sex which obviously we know I love I'm very sexually active but what part of that is actually um taking care of my sexual health right like that is very very
important I have I have my family doctor but then I have a very specific sexual health clinic that I go to for all my sexual health needs in fact I'm going tomorrow um just I get tested regularly all of these good things I think that's really important um if we're gonna use our sexual organs we
have to take care of them right so um I want to give a shout out to the prep clinic in Toronto if you don't go go they're awesome all right let's jump into the next one uh let's talk about body positivity um so first of all we can you can talk about what that means to you because I think it
means a lot of different things to different people uh but what are some ways that you can uh some practical ways you can adopt a more body positive mindset so the first one of god is um it's slowing down connecting and taking time to appreciate our bodies for the the miracles they
are and the joy and the pleasure and the utility that they offer because like what I've discovered is that what we what we appreciate what I appreciate appreciates right um and so you know I've I've seen this magic happen for example when um there was a plant that was on its last legs
and something occurred to me like I don't know what it was but I was on a mission to love this plant back to life and um I watched it go from being nearly dead to like thriving it had you know grown big and green and it had sprouted a flower and I just spoke love into it and watered it every day
and like sank to it and talked to it and um and and you know we're no different than that our bodies are no different than that and so again I say what what we appreciate appreciate so adopting a mindset and an approach of appreciation for a body um it's really powerful joy pleasure and
utility right like that in my experience that's that's that's what this this is about um the second one is um it's body parties right so like this is when we come together in celebration and appreciation of our bodies and I'm going to shut out the body electric school because um you
know they like the work that they do around body stuff is so um powerful and inspiring and it's centered around community right and so um I think doing this work alone yes but doing it together my gosh you know um and and lastly I would say discernment so like filtering out what isn't in
service to the relationship you wish to create or are creating with your body and you may be stuck in um a pattern and you may need to seek support to come to a place where this comes with ease you know this discernment comes with ease and so seeking support is it's a beautiful thing it's a wise
thing it's a powerful thing you know to help you become more discerned to help you develop a more loving you're caring um and delicious relationship to your body you know because that's possible for every single person I stand in that I stand in that that it's possible for every
single person to have that kind of relationship to their body you know and um yeah mic draw beautiful beautiful yeah well about you Matt well that's you yeah basically I could just say I second what Reno says both my own spin on it um yeah the first thing I always say
to clients when I'm working with them on moving from head to heart mind a body is slow down by 10% it's hard to slow down any more than that so that could look like um walking a little slower talking a little slower eating a little slower um thinking a little slower like all these things you just
turn the dial down by 10% and then what ends up happening is there's a little bit more space for the body to have a voice right and um and if we want to have a positive mindset with our body then we have to have a relationship with our body so we have to form that and uh we form that
by slowing down and by listening right and what will be spoken to us will be sensations it'll be emotions it'll be um whispers you know it's like it's very subtle and when we listen to that and we start to acknowledge it we start to connect to like our needs our desires our boundaries you know
and this is like big shit like I can't emphasize it enough it's so big right and for my fellow ruminators out there if you're if you're a hardcore ruminator then that that's one of the clearest signs that you're not feeling your emotions or you're not you're not connected to your
body as much or that maybe as you could be right um and this isn't like once we're connected we're always connected our relationship with our body we might be distant with it at some times we might be closer so it's like you know but for me it's always a signpost whenever I'm ruminating it's okay
I got a breathe I got to connect in what's going on down here that I'm not wanting to be with right now that's one of the biggest things and then the last thing I'll say is offer gratitude to your body for all of its functions like like Michael set up the top it's so easy for us to become so
highly critical of all these little things about how we look and you know I have this little mole here I have you know little bags under my eyes here and all these things that were like so critical about it's like can we take a moment and really honor that there's like trillions of cells inside of
our body they're dividing and replicating and doing all these things like our autonomic nervous system is taking care of us we don't have to do shit all like that is that's so phenomenal and profound and I just think that the more we can sit back and really you know offer thankfulness
and appreciation for those things then I think we start to develop more of a positive connection to our body yeah totally well yeah you guys said it all I underline highlight we're winding list to all that again guys that's all really good yeah the body positive mindset to me is about
you know how you think and relate to your body which we talked about today those are all amazing examples what I had said earlier and in my last share I think is worth saying again just really understanding that you have a relationship with your body prioritize it think about it in that
way like it is someone in your like family you have a relationship with how you treat it how do you talk to it do you listen to it do you ignore it all of these kinds of questions like that has helped me and that's a really good way to do it and that yeah like what you had just said exactly
that that really I don't know when that revelation happened for me but that really was like a turning point for me was like wow this thing that I have here is a gift is a gift it is a gift from whatever it is you want to believe up there universe god whatever but like that's how I see it like
I was gifted this and the way I treated is my gift back yeah and so that has been one of my biggest mindset show since then I mean that don't get me wrong I'm not I'm not always treating it as such but I do a much better job than I used to and that's the point and I do see it as a home I think
at the top of the episode I said that like I look at my home and I treat my I can keep my home relatively clean and tidy and I you know do things like that this is my home for life like I can't just like take it and leave until I die after that's done then who knows this home this is going to
get some more this is going to be somewhere else but for now this is what I got and so I got to keep it that way um yeah like a mad at set focus on the functionality and then of course celebrating it that's really important so one more thing on this is with body positivity is have conversations like
Matt Reno and I are having now with people who either get it or who want to get it or who will as Reno says gas you up I think it's really important to have like these environmental factors where you're around people who want that same thing for you and for themselves um yeah
anything else sorry I'm pure friends tires that's right anything else you guys want to add before I wrap this up no just that you know is this yeah what you just said was amazing the piece about it being a gift um I'm carrying out with
me a gift in a in a home thank you that was like a mic drop moment in me yeah I like that too yeah perfect ending to the show then okay guys for our viewers and listeners out there thank you for sticking with us for this awesome episode about carrying through your body um please
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