We were thrilled to speak with Michelle Kenney, a parenting coach who has helped thousands of parents stop using punishments and yelling and learn kind limits. In today’s episode, Michelle shares her journey to connective parenting, and how she learned to be empathetic and playful with her own strong willed child. In this conversation, we talk about perfectionism in parenting and navigating differences in parenting styles with family, other caregivers, and even one’s partner. Michelle describes ...
Jan 20, 2023•58 min•Season 1Ep. 43
Our bodies know when we want to be touched, and when we don’t want to be touched. Desire and agency simmer in our throats, ready to emerge as “Yes” or “No,” to protect our sovereignty over our own bodies and sexuality. But centuries of patriarchy and violations in our personal histories may have disconnected us from the channel of our desire, and the agency of our voice. In today’s episode, we explore how “yes” and “no” in the sexual realm are intimately and irrevocably intertwined. We linger on...
Jan 06, 2023•59 min•Season 1Ep. 42
In a society (and a holiday season) often focused on consumerism, we can sometimes forget to treasure the special objects in our lives—things handmade or heartfelt, infused with prayers and dreams, memories and love, that we hold as totems while traversing our daily lives and rituals. In our last episode, Sheryl spoke about some "artifacts of the heart" that she took with her when evacuating under threat of a flood. In this episode, we turn our attention with reverence to some more of our most s...
Dec 16, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 41
There are different kinds of darkness. Sometimes we head out into darkness to go on a journey—there might be fear or nervousness, but also excitement and curiosity. What glittering stars might guide our way? What might we see once our eyes adjust? Then there is the type of darkness that envelops us when we experience a dark night of the soul, the kind that might, if we’re lucky, be part of some mysterious transformation or initiation. And then there is the darkness that appears when the greatest...
Dec 02, 2022•51 min•Season 1Ep. 40
“We are tired, exhausted. We know that there’s a better way, a more humane way, a more balanced way. We’re not sure what that looks like yet, but we know that it’s possible.” In today’s episode, Sheryl reflects on her bodily knowing that there must be another way to do life, one that is more balanced than what we’ve grown accustomed to: rushing, competing, depleted, disconnected. We may be accustomed, but we are not adjusted. We are collectively exhausted and yearning. Sheryl shares how making t...
Nov 18, 2022•22 min•Season 1Ep. 39
Due to a family emergency, Victoria wasn’t able to record with me this week (I share more about this in the episode), so I had to harness my self-trust and fly solo. I watched self-doubt peer in from the wings, and I utilized the skills that I teach to make room for the doubt and also become curious about what might be living underneath it. Through this process, I invite you to join me as we create a sacred space for whatever grief you may be carrying. I then talk about how caring about what ran...
Nov 04, 2022•34 min•Season 1Ep. 38
Recently, we've had episodes about purity, perfectionism, and what it means to be (or not to be!) "good." We've emphasized again and again that no one is perfect, that we are all messy human beings with flaws, who make mistakes. In today's episode, we are getting a bit more specific about what it means to be imperfect: we are sharing stories of recent times when we have messed up, what those mess-ups felt like for us, and how we worked through them. From dead houseplants and near-accidents to (v...
Oct 17, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 37
In today’s episode, we're wrestling and dancing with Mary Oliver’s beloved poem “Wild Geese,” starting with its bold opening line: “You do not have to be good.” We consider questions like: What if being “good” has been a key part of our identity for years? What does it mean to not be good? Is it an excuse to be selfish? And what does it mean to “let the soft animal of your body love what it loves”? What might that have to do with self-trust and finding our own voice? ...And what if we are the wi...
Sep 30, 2022•55 min•Season 1Ep. 36
We start today’s episode with a story from Sheryl about how getting covid brought up the voices of purity and perfectionism in her—cold, scolding, cruel voices. Sheryl shares how she worked through these voices with the help of a compassionate friend and dialoguing in her journal. Victoria reflects on her fear of contamination, reckons with trying to play God, feels the pressure of perfectionism in her body, and sheds tears. Sheryl describes her spiritual perspective on facing our fallibility an...
Sep 16, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 35
In today's episode, we welcome a special guest, J.S. Park, to talk with us about that most primal human fear, the fear of death. And, we talk about the "lost language" of grief, and some of the historical roots of how and why we lost it. As a hospital chaplain, J.S. Park offers grief counseling and end-of-life care among his many duties. We spoke with him about how this role has shaped the way that he views life and death. He shares a story of vulnerability, presence, and wonder, of living deepl...
Sep 02, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 34
In today’s episode, we are talking about a simple, yet powerful tool we all can use as we seek to live from more wisdom and less reactivity: the ability to pause. Whether we are arguing with our partner, greeting a loved one as they enter the house, or moving from one task to the next, incorporating a pause can help us to shift our energy, practice gratitude, and remember who we really are and how we want to be. Sheryl and Victoria take a one-minute pause in the middle of the episode (and invite...
Aug 12, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 33
In today’s episode, you’ll hear us speaking more slowly, pausing longer, listening more closely. That’s because we wanted to approach the subject of slowing down, and we didn’t want to just talk about it. We wanted to do it. We invite you to join us as we float down the slow-moving river of conversation today. Notice as you listen what arises in your mind and heart, what happens to your nervous system, your body, your thoughts. Do you catch a deeper breath than you’ve gotten all day? Do you find...
Jul 29, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Have you ever wished that you could join the conversations that you hear in podcasts? Do you find yourself longing for deeper conversations with people you meet in your daily life? In today’s episode, we’re responding to a question from Monique, a member of our Patreon community : “How do you go about having deeper conversations when not everyone wants or is in the head space to have them, or they find deep conversations uncomfortable?” Sheryl and Victoria explore what we really mean when we say...
Jul 15, 2022•51 min•Season 1Ep. 31
Dreams: they comfort us and terrify us, send us into flights of fantasy and doubt, connect us to our aliveness and ancestors. They are potent portals, bridges into another realm. And yet, we often forget dreams, dismiss them, or even try to avoid them. We fear the unknown: what will they reveal to us? What might we discover? What might we have to face in them? In today’s episode, we talk about meeting dreams with curiosity, openness and even playfulness, so that we can tap into their gold. Shery...
Jul 01, 2022•54 min•Season 1Ep. 30
Today's episode features a very special guest: Daev Finn, Sheryl's beloved husband (and Victoria's uncle!) Daev is an artist/psychotherapist and former visual effects artist, and recent graduate of Depth psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. In today's episode, Daev talks about the father wound, relationships between fathers and sons, and his experience fathering two highly sensitive sons. He explores myths and stories that illuminate this topic, and discusses how fathers and "fairy godfa...
Jun 17, 2022•54 min•Season 1Ep. 29
In today’s episode, we’re talking about responding to the pain in our hearts and around the world when we turn on the news and see yet another horrific tragedy, like the recent shootings in Buffalo, New York and Uvalde, Texas. How do we keep our hearts open? How do we allow ourselves to lament, and meet our grief and rage, all while continuing to tend to the mundane tasks of our daily lives? How do we know whether we are doing enough to show up for the world in all its pain? We bring the words a...
Jun 03, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 28
Separation anxiety can feel like a scream from the soul, like love choking on its own breath. It springs from a variety of sources, both genetic and environmental, and often thrives in a mixture of deep love, profound fear of loss, an exaggerated sense of threat, and an underestimation of our own competence. Separation anxiety calls for individuation, for leaning upon an inner parent, as well as social and even spiritual connection. In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria explore their own stori...
May 20, 2022•57 min•Season 1Ep. 27
"Your children are not your children They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself They come through you but not from you And though they are with you yet they belong not to you..." -- from "On Children" by Khalil Gibran In today's episode, we explore the mother wound in its tender, painful, personal, and collective layers. Sheryl shares her gentle approach to exploring this wound, which includes compassion for the generations of mothers wounded by the patriarchy and embrace of "g...
May 06, 2022•46 min•Season 1Ep. 26
We are so happy to celebrate one year of Gathering Gold with a special "Ask Us Anything" episode. Thank you to all of the listeners who sent in so many fantastic questions -- we wish we could have answered each and every one! In today's episode, you'll hear some reflections on grief, relationship anxiety/anxiety about becoming a parent, explaining (or not explaining) high sensitivity, and of course...our favorite Taylor Swift songs. We'll be answering more listener questions in upcoming Patreon ...
Apr 22, 2022•56 min•Season 1Ep. 25
We begin this episode with a little story about the podcast episode we had planned to share today, and why we just couldn't make it work. And, we share the solution that arrived when we took a step back and allowed ourselves to try again. Today's shorter-than-originally-planned episode also features a few important podcast announcements and invitations as we come upon the one year anniversary of the start of Gathering Gold. Thank you for listening! References: Registration for Sheryl's Break Fre...
Apr 08, 2022•21 min•Season 1Ep. 24
As we move out of winter and into spring, we are taking time to reflect on this seasonal transition in all of its bittersweetness. Sheryl begins by sharing a reflection on the feelings she is noticing inside of her as spring beckons: not only joy and aliveness, but also sadness and longing. In today’s episode, we reflect on the ways in which spring’s fleeting, fragile, and abundantly beautiful nature can usher in heady feelings of in-love-ness, fears around intertwined endings and beginnings, an...
Mar 25, 2022•57 min•Season 1Ep. 23
In today’s episode, we’re taking a dip into the shadow lands, and exploring what we mean when we talk about “our shadow” in the realm of human psychology. Sheryl and Victoria share a few traits that they’ve become aware of in their own shadows, and discuss the interplay of shadow and persona and how both benefit from attention and curiosity. Sheryl explains how we can channel shadow characters in healthy ways and learn to see the golden or bright shadow in ourselves, rather than only projecting ...
Mar 11, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 22
The passage of time: we all feel it, but highly sensitive people seem to feel it that much more acutely, and often from a very young age. In today's episode, Sheryl shares how she has been feeling the passage of time more strongly as her youngest son nears the age of 18 and begins preparing for college, and how she meets "sweet grief" when it arises. Victoria shares how she often tried to stop or stall the process of growing up throughout her younger years because of this early and sharp awarene...
Feb 25, 2022•59 min•Season 1Ep. 21
We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into the sunset with them—even though you know you don't really want that in reality. Our imaginations and dreams are beautiful things, and yet sometimes, we find ourselves fixating on a certain escape hatch that we wish co...
Feb 11, 2022•59 min•Season 1Ep. 20
You've probably heard the phrase "drop into your body" many times before--even from Sheryl. If this phrase brings up an automatic reaction of fear, frustration, or drawing a blank, you are not alone. In today's episode, we are discussing some of the reasons that we might have blocked off awareness of our body or connection to our emotions early on, and why we might now be afraid or frustrated when we try to reconnect. Sheryl and Victoria discuss some of the fearful thoughts that arise around "Wh...
Jan 28, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 1Ep. 19
If you’re sick of hearing about COVID, we understand. This episode is about just a few themes that are being highlighted for many highly sensitive people in their internal landscapes during the pandemic: anguish over an inflated sense of responsibility; health anxiety; and struggles in relationship. For many HSPs, it can be difficult to walk the line between doing the necessary diligent work to protect our loved ones and the greater collective, and finding the limit of what we can actually contr...
Jan 16, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Winter is a season of contrasts. In the long dark nights, candles burn more brightly. Amidst the cold, we find ways to generate heat. And in the spaciousness and emptiness, we make room for new birth. In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss winter as a time of paradox: a season of the elder and of the child, of quiet reflection and raucous play, turning inward and pushing ourselves out. A feminine season, ripe for mythology and rich with ferocity, warmth, destruction and creation. We del...
Dec 23, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 17
In today’s episode, we’re talking about spiritual longing: longing for connection to God, to mystery, to something greater than our individual selves. We explore some of the obstacles and questions that arise around spirituality: Do I need belief to be spiritual? Is my partner wrong for me if I’m on a spiritual path and they’re not? How do I pray when I’m afraid of what God might ask me to do? Victoria shares some of her history with spirituality and religion, including the legacy of her almost-...
Dec 10, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Here in the Northern Hemisphere, we are entering into what can feel like a particularly lonely season for many people: the leaves have fallen from the trees, daylight disappears early, and the holiday season is upon us. Sheryl shares a passage from The Wisdom of Anxiety about loneliness, and we talk about how we can shift from discussing it as a statistic (1 in 5 adults in the U.S. reports feeling “serious loneliness”), and start to add color, texture and feeling to the conversation. What color ...
Nov 24, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 15
In today’s very special episode, Sheryl reflects on aging as she crosses the threshold into the next decade of life: her fifties. We talk about what it means to “age backwards,” and we consider the question: how can we become more curious, more open, softer and lighter as the years go, rather than more rigid and calcified? Is it possible that aging is, in some ways, not as linear as we think? We unpack some of the stories and perceptions about aging that can make it difficult for us to accept an...
Nov 05, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 14
