Jaws the Revenge is, at its heart, a story about family. Specifically, a family that is going to be eaten by a shark. Many years after the events of the first movie, Sheriff Brody has died. Of fear. As is the custom on Amity, he passed the job down to his son. Unfortunately, this son has worse luck fighting sharks than his old man, and seconds after encountering our old friend Jaws the Shark, he’s dead. Due to trauma, his mother develops a psychic shark-sense. She follows her other son to The Ba...
Dec 10, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 130
This film gave me such nostalgia for my childhood in Chicago. I remember my parents would take us kids out to Lou Malnati's Pizza for a bowl of delicious pizza. Of course, we'd have to leave the family dog at home so he wouldn't get dognapped by the hordes of evil pet store owners roaming Chicago's historic streets for animals to sell to corrupt biotech labs. We'd take a leisurely stroll down the Miracle Mile, averting our gaze from the piles of mutated research animals that were abandoned in th...
Dec 03, 2021•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 129
This is a story about those horrible unrepentant killers with dangerous powers, but now one of them is a Scanner. When little Sam is only a lad, he watches his Scanner father have a complete psychotic break and get gunned down by the police. Standard operation procedure kicks in here and the responding officer takes the kid home and raises him as his own. He's such a positive influence that the kid grows up to be a cop himself. Cut to years later, some escaped villains from a Superfriends episod...
Nov 19, 2021•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 128
In this unofficial, pseudo-sequel to Hell Night we again have a co-ed legion of doofuses locked in a fake haunted house to earn the right to join a fraternal organization. But this time, they remembered that they were making a horror movie, so they added blood, nudity and Brad Dourif, all in enough quantity to more than make up for the previous film. Also… they had just watched Evil Dead 2 and would very much like you to know that they are aware of how badly they’re ripping it off, but that this...
Oct 29, 2021•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 127
Wow. This slasher couldn't have been softer if it was made for the Disney Channel. Made by a porn director and there's no nudity. Made with had the star of the Exorcist but barely had a single effective scare. They even had the star of Rock and Roll High School, and yet I didn't see a single Ramone. The sad part is that if you watched a half-hour reel of the greatest hits of this movie, you'd think it was the best horror movie ever made. Sadly, the rest of the movie is just boring kids either si...
Oct 22, 2021•1 hr 32 min•Ep. 126
Get ready for this summer's hottest new video game! YOU play the role of Satan's Little Helper, an incredibly stupid child who's feigned inability to distinguish fantasy from reality will probably get him off the hook for all the atrocities that he will soon take part in! Rack up the points by killing boyfriends, poisoning BMX ninjas, and marrying your sister! Be sure to look out for the shopping cart upgrade! Now you're playing with power! So grab your best painting cat, a few rolls of packing ...
Oct 15, 2021•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 125
Little Jamie has always hated Halloween. No matter how much her adopted family tries to ply her with multiple scooped ice cream, she won't budge on the matter. She's simply too busy with her schoolwork and photo collecting to think about Halloween. Rachel is seventeen year old about to give up on love. When a surprise visit from Jamie's unconventional uncle sets the family on their toes, he changes the way little Jamie looks at Halloween forever, and sets Rachel on a collision course with love a...
Oct 08, 2021•1 hr 43 min•Ep. 124
Stay with me here. There's this mirror, right? It's got a demon in it. The witches of Salem used to use it, but literally all it does is seduce people and ruin their lives. It doesn't explicitly grant wishes, but clearly there's a wishing element. You can't ask it for stuff or bad things happen. You certainly shouldn't have sex with the demon that lives in it. That's a big no-no. Our story begins when a copyright infringing version of Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice moves into a house that's haunte...
Oct 01, 2021•1 hr 32 min•Ep. 123
Honestly, any attempt to describe this movie would be pointless. You have to see it. Yes. It is very slow. But, Bill Paxton is in it. Sure, it centers around a bunch of obnoxious rich kids who are also very stupid. Counterpoint: Bill Paxton. It would further be correct to point out that if given any small amount of scrutiny the plot completely falls apart. To that I would say... Bill Paxton. So join Matt and Tristan as they talk about the most Bill Paxton horror movie allowed without a prescript...
Sep 17, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 122
Sometimes when you make a funny podcast about schlocky movies, you run across a movie that is...kinda perfect? Maybe the most underrated slasher ever? I mean there's some silly stuff...a guy does pull a hundred pound fish out of the water as part of his wooing of a lady. That was fun. But goddammit, this movie ruled. Sorry I'm so late to the party on this. Join Matt and Tristan as they have very little to complain about in a movie that I still can't believe I had never seen until now, Just Befor...
Sep 10, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 121
Hail, hail to the college days with the Fun Box Podcast. This week we're talking 1989's Rush Week. When a young journalism student notices co-eds vanishing, she becomes determined to unmask the killer, but long the way, I think she's going to unmask some laughs too. It's a collegiate-who-done-it Mcguffin fest from start to finish, but things get complicated when she falls for the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD and starts hanging with his friends THE OTHER WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD who are the heroes....
Sep 03, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 120
You ever have one of those dreams where you're at Cheerleader Camp wearing an alligator mascot costume and people are getting murdered all around you? Plus, for some reason seventies teen sensation Leif Garret is there? And that big guy from Roadhouse is filming everyone and committing crimes that everyone just finds charming? Yeah. I think I ate some bad clams. Anyway, join Matt and Tristan as they talk about the greatest hip-hop film since House Party 2, Cheerleader Camp. (Ps. This is not a Pa...
Aug 21, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 119
A young student named Beverly has been given the opportunity of a lifetime. She's being invited to hang out in the woods of Serbia with classmates who absolutely loathe her and bully her ever chance they get. Once there she gets to sleep in a shack with no walls, and learn about her own heritage...which she clearly despises, plus she's going to marry the devil! All for only eight hundred bucks!?! Unfortunately things take a turn for the worse when the entire town turns out to be comprised of sat...
Aug 13, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 118
A body-switching, heavy-metal-loving, Ferrari-stealing, serial-killer-alien is running wild in LA, and the only thing that can stop him is Kyle Mclaughlin. If you are a Hollywood executive and someone gives you this pitch... if you hesitate for even a second, you should be fired on the spot and removed from the entertainment industry forever. Grab a boombox, a pocket full of stolen IRS Records Tapes, and your dufflebag full of illegal military hardware, and join Matt and Tristan for 1987's class...
Aug 06, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 117
Llamageddon is just another bloated Hollywood blockbuster, relying on expensive flashy special effects and star power. When are we going to see Howie Doin come back to the small, quiet films that were a hallmark of his lauded early days? I miss the Howie who brought us the masterful tone poetry of Pinky's Sense of Llama. The sensuous heat of August Llama in Paris, or the gritty realism of Llama Driver. Sure this film will break a billion at the box office. But what about telling us the truth tha...
Jul 30, 2021•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 116
Berserker is the timeless tale of a Viking who's ship crashed in Utah so he ate a bunch of people and became half bear. Also, there's a real bear who may have been killing people, or not, and it's got George Buck Flower going really big on a Swedish accent. So strap on your bear-mask, get your cool-guy degree in Political Science, and join Matt and Tristan for the best Viking slasher movie I can think of, but only by default... Berserker.
Jul 16, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 115
It's hard to see where the characters go wrong in the film Stage Fright. Was it making a modern dance adaptation of I Spit on Your Grave? Was it seeking medical attention for a sore ankle instead of just keeping off it for a while? Was it seeking that medical attention at Italy's version of Arkham Asylum? Was it having an inexplicable owl mask? Was it all the barrels of burning trash in a building with only two exits, both of which lock from the outside? It's impossible to say. What we can say i...
Jul 09, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 114
When an evil priest summons a child with three thumbs, who may be the avatar of Satan, to murder a group of people who may be his former classmates, or complete strangers that he just doesn't like, things start to get weird. He's punishing, and I guess redeeming (?) them for sins that seem to come from the seven deadly sins (?) but sometimes don't. And the punishments (redeemings?) are completely random, (if you're gluttonous he sets you on fire?) If you're looking for answers, you aren't going ...
Jul 02, 2021•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 113
When you think of God, you think beard, robe, wise, kind all-knowing, right? WRONG STUPID. He's a gorilla with a mohawk that dresses like Blackie Lawless from WASP. Man did every theologian in history back the wrong horse! But not to worry, this film sets the record straight. Whether it be godly feats of strength like breaking plates and eggs, or eventually knocking over a lightweight camper after a lot of grunting exertion, Rawhead Rex proves himself to be a deity worth worshiping. Also, was th...
Jun 25, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 112
When her relationship with an Emmy-winning football player fails due to a dispute over his rubber leg scar, Jennifer runs into the arms of her second love, Danish folk festivals. She hops into the Action 6 Action Station Wagon and heads out to get her pulitzer on the mean streets of some dumb town with a folk festival. Sadly, due to a tragic mixup, the only place left to stay is at the local murder mansion. Jennifer knows that she is the only reporter daring enough to report that, "People seem t...
Jun 18, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 111
When killer mutant slugs start pouring out of the water taps in a small town, the local health inspector, Mike Brady, snaps into action. After every single person in town tells him he’s insane, he decides to prove them wrong. How does he do that, you might well ask? Why, by hiring a local high school’s science teacher to make hundreds of gallons of explosives that they will pump into the sewers, effectively blowing up the entire town. Obviously! So make yourself a big old bowl of salad, or maybe...
Jun 11, 2021•1 hr 34 min•Ep. 110
Clint Howard accidentally makes some giant ticks by spilling his weed growing steroid. Outside of that? What more do you need to know? The movie is a classic and how they made it for a million dollars I honestly can't imagine. This thing is gold. So fill your pockets with steroids, dump your up-and-coming A-List children in the woods, and join Matt & Tristan as they suck down the big bucket of delicious dog-blood that is the 1994 classic... TICKS!
Jun 04, 2021•1 hr 40 min•Ep. 109
Things are going great for famed photojournalist, Ted. He's got a great career, a beautiful wife, and fifteen sherpas to listen in on he and his wife having sex. The whole deal. That all ends when his camp is attacked by a Nepalese werewolf. Ted eventually kills it, but not before it murders everyone at the camp except for Ted, and leaves him infected with werewolfism. He returns to the States, but has a hard time fitting in, due to him literally turning into a werewolf, EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Ye...
May 28, 2021•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 108
When Roddy McDowell, the head of an inexplicably animal-based medical school, get a hair across his ass to inject the most dangerous animal they have in what appears to be a huge menagerie (you know, because it's med school) with a drug that usually calms animals down, but once in a while drives them murderously insane, things go poorly. Despite his obvious cinematic familiarity with primates, he somehow missteps and this turns out to be one of the times the serum makes a monkey murderous. Oh, a...
May 21, 2021•1 hr 38 min•Ep. 107
Those lovable murderous demon-babies are back! Unfortunately for them, this time they're pursued by Linda, the Terminator you get if you order through the Spiegel Catalog. By the time we catch up with Catherine and her monster-baby Joey, Linda has already thinned the killer-baby population of California down pretty handily. But Catherine, the mind controlled, millionaire, children's book author has a brilliant plan. After fleeing the killer-baby lab leaving piles of dead scientists in her wake, ...
May 14, 2021•1 hr 48 min•Ep. 106
Being an architect is stressful. You come home from landing your dream job. Your ex-girlfriend, who watches your kids because your so awful nobody else on earth will talk to you, meets you at the door with a weapon. You let that go, because you think she might cheat on her insufferable new boyfriend with you. She does, and just as you're starting to feel good abut ruining their relationship, you get mauled by an evil ghost dog controlled by the clock of a 15th century serial killer that you brou...
Apr 30, 2021•1 hr 46 min•Ep. 105
We made it 100 episodes so we decided to treat ourselves to one of our shared favorites! Terrorvision!!! Plus, I had talked to writer / director Ted Nicolaou a few months earlier for the magazine and had a little audio snippet of him talking about the movie, so I dropped that in too. (I hadn't listened to it before we recorded so we rehash a bit of what he says.) When LA's most eighties family installs their new DIY 100 satellite, they accidentally pick up the essence of a mutated family space p...
Apr 23, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 104
The Chilling is a film which poses some really poignant philosophical questions about the spiritual morality of cryogenically freezing people, secretly harvesting their organs, and selling them on the black market. It also calls into question the decision to not only hire Dan Haggerty as a security guard, but give him keys to a forklift. We may never agree on the answers to these questions, but the one point we can all agree on is that if a conductive fluid is injected into a cadaver and that ca...
Apr 02, 2021•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 103
At it's core, Slaughterhouse is an inspiring tale of a father and son triumphing over the corporate forces that would take over and industrialize their beloved family farm. However if we zoom out to the macro level, it could be said to be the story of America. When Lester Bacon, owner of Bacon and Sons Slaughterhouse, is offered a deal to either pay off his back taxes or sell out to corporate interests, he doesn't look to the government for a bailout. He pulls himself up by his bootstraps, and t...
Mar 26, 2021•1 hr 36 min•Ep. 102
In a very special episode of The Fun Box Monster Podcast, we find the answer to the question, "What if Troma was given a million dollars to remake Grease, but had to keep it PG-13?" When some guys dressed as nuns try to kill Jermaine Jackson in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, Pia Zamora runs off with him and they have a Romeo and Juliet thing which turns out to have been just a music video from another planet. If watching this happen in the first five minutes of a movie is too much for you, Voyage...
Mar 19, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 101
