Episode #12 - How to become a Confident Communicator

And this is something that I wanna dive a little bit more into today, in today's episode because it is a constant process and a constant cycle of repetition and just really being able to check in with yourself and know that you are deeply connected and you are not running around with ideas and thoughts in your head that are gonna ca get carried away and, and lead to emotional spiraling.

Because really when you are able to switch off that dialogue and that , um, sense of anxiety from being in your head and not really being able to confidently know what is the right decision or what is the right choice or whatever it is that perhaps you are overanalyzing in your head about what you should do, or perhaps you are overthinking something and over complicating something when you don't need to.

And this is something that's really, really important when it comes to being a confident communicator because if you are able to really just simplify things and really allow yourself to connect back into your body, connect back into your energy without having that emotional surge or that that fear or that uncertainty, it really allows you to be able to own what you're saying and be able to speak from a place of serenity and harmony and really speak clearly about what it is that you need to get

across and it'll make your life so much easier. So, so much easier. And so when I talk about connection, what I really, what I really wanna focus on is that really deep sense of connection and knowing and understanding who you are and being able to not , uh, or be able to regulate. If something comes up for you, perhaps some sort of emotional or you are triggered by something, by you really having that deep sense of connection, you will know when things trigger you.

Or if you are not aware, if you are not totally aware of when something will trigger you, but you're aware of what the trigger is, you will understand why you are being triggered. And instead of allowing yourself to get swept up in those emotions, you will be able to really take a step back and just realize that this is a part of your makeup or your conditioning from your childhood or growing up in general.

And you'll be able to identify ways in which you can overcome these triggers and be able to move through them. And this is a really important part of being able to express yourself and being able to be a confident communicator.

Because if you do not have the tools or do not have the self-awareness to regulate your emotions and your nervous system, then when these emotions come up for you, whether it be through confrontation that you are having with someone or something that's upset you, and you really wanna be able to verbalize that and, and someone's asking you perhaps what's wrong, but instead of of being able to confidently say, I'm just experiencing this feeling of overwhelm or exhaustion or not being appreciated,

whatever it is that you are feeling, instead of being able to verbalize that and communicate that you are allowing the emotions to completely overwhelm you and override your system. And consequently for most people will shut them down , um, which is what it used to do to me.

My emotions used to shut me down or it would send me into a emotional spiral where one emotion would trigger another emotion and then I would just end up in this really low vibrational state where I just really didn't feel good about myself.

I didn't feel, you know, that I was valued or that I was loved or whatever experience it was, but it would might have been something so small that would've triggered me and that emotion would be , uh, attached to something else and it would just be a default for me. And I would just end up in this place of just being really low and unhappy and sometimes depressed.

You know, there was a lot of my younger years where I was depressed a lot of the time and I naturally turned to alcohol as a form of a escape and coping mechanism because I didn't know how to regulate my emotions and I didn't know how to overcome these feelings, these feelings of, you know, not being good enough or , um, pain, you know, dealing with painful experiences or emotions or anything like that. I didn't really understand or know how to deal with that.

And it possibly was also something that I didn't want to. So you really obviously have to be ready to take these steps in order to be able to change yourself. And this is really a big part of the healing process and the healing journey because if you are not willing and you are not ready to start to make these changes in your life, then you need to be willing and able to accept that if things don't change, you will be okay with that.

You'll be okay with who you are and where you are at in your life. So that's really something that I want you to think about. Are you willing to stay the same and continue living your life the way that you're living it? And if you are, that's fantastic. That's absolutely fantastic.

There is no judgment here, but for those of you that perhaps maybe identified that you want to have more confidence or you wanna be seen and heard , um, and really accepted and and valued for who you are, and you wanna be able to share your voice and your passion and , and really be able to speak up about the things that mean so much to you and activate your true power, then you need to ask yourself, am I willing to actually make a change?

Am I willing to take the action and , and do the work and put myself in an uncomfortable position in order to break through my fear? Because that's what it's gonna take and that's what it has take , It has taken , um, words . Yeah .

So yeah, you really need to be honest with yourself about how, how much you are invested in this because it is all well and good to say yes, you know, I really wanna change and I , I know that I need to change these things, but it actually takes you taking action and taking baby steps forward in order to make these changes.

So this is something that is, once you make this choice, then it is something that is going to continually come up for you because you may have a emotional breakthrough and you may be able to finally speak up for yourself to a person that perhaps has really always made you felt small and , and hasn't allowed you to express yourself or you haven't felt comfortable to express yourself in front of.

And you , you have this fantastic emotional breakthrough with them and you are really able to get everything off your chest and speak about the things that are really important to you and the things that you want to happen moving forward. And then that's it. Nothing else ever happens without taking the action to continually want to improve, then nothing will ever actually eventuate.

So it's, it's like that this is something that you will always constantly have to work on and be willing to work on because if you are not willing to put in the work and really just put in the in in a little bit of effort to make sure that you are moving instead of staying still instead of staying in the same place, because at the end of the day, we're all moving, the earth is moving, energy is moving, so everything is is fluid, everything is liquid.

So it's, it's constantly morphine and transforming. And if we are not willing to roll with that and really be open to changing and improving and transforming and evolving, then we have to be okay with things staying the same. And so this brings me back to what we were talking about before with connection. Connection is really the tool that will allow you to want to make the change.

Because when you are so deeply connected to yourself and your body and your energy and your higher self, your higher self is the biggest advocate for you to be making small, effective, inspired and align changes that were gonna help you to become or create what it is that you want in your life and from a place of alignment as well. So it will always serve in your highest good when you are in alignment.

So with connection, it is really about putting in some practices that allow you to have the time to be able to who connect and really just allow yourself that space and allow you to listen to your body and your heart and your higher self and just really tune into that energy because when you're able to tune into that energy, then it gives you this sense of knowing and , and , and , and self confidence so that you're able to step into a situation with that power behind you and , and really

knowing that you are supported. And if there is a tricky conversation that you need to have with someone, you can always come back and really ask your guides to be able to give you the strength and courage to be able to have that conversation with someone if it , it was fairly a little bit difficult or scary and really being able to lean on that support.

So that is another aspect of connection is not only connecting to your body and also to your emotions, but also being able to connect to your higher power or your spirit guides or your , your arch angels, whoever it is that you feel the most comfortable leaning on for support and guidance in those situations where you might need it the most. And these are all things that we need to build.

So connection is obviously something that also needs work, it needs time to build up that response to your body. So obviously taking time out to have , uh, space where you can connect to your body and use your body. And then also being able to connect to your emotions, which for me is probably the biggest ones out of this because I find that emotions and body for me, were connected or actually the opposite, were disconnected.

So I, in my, in my childhood and , and my sort of younger adult years, I always disconnected my body from my emotions so that I wasn't able, or that I didn't have to feel my emotions that because if I felt my emotions, they would be painful. This is a limited belief that I've had to overcome. And so for me, the connection to body was almost like the missing part or the missing part of me that I had to call back.

Because once I call back the connection to my body and focused on that, then the connections to my emotions could happen because without the two, they can't really, they can coexist, but not in a, not in a balanced way. So really being able to value and love and narration and support your body so that you can allow your emotions to come up within your body and be released is really a dual ended connection because the two of them need each other.

They need each other instead of the emotions being suppressed in the body, which I guess they're still connected, but they are connected in a , in a way that is unhealthy for you. So being able to, for the body to feel safe and comfortable to allow these emotions to come up and to surface out of you is how you are able to heal yourself.

So that is a really big part of, of the connection between body and emotions and also allowing yourself to really have that space for when you are going through this, when you are rebuilding that connection with your body and with your emotions, really just being really gentle and allowing yourself the time and the space and really connecting into mother earth energy and just allowing her to support you is really, really important because this will help you to not get carried away with the

emotion that's coming up for you and just allow the emotion to come out and to be healed. So that is, there's a little bit of deep stuff there I know, but you know, this is, this is all part of the process and it is a really important part as well because for me and my story, my fear of being seen and heard was linked to my fear of feeling pain because I, I didn't want to express myself or , or communicate. I didn't really want to face that situation.

If I was ever confronted or had to be in that , um, dialogue with someone where I had to talk about my feelings or , um, perhaps the conversation made me feel uncomfortable and emotional, I would just shut off and have no emotion because it was easier to do and less painful to do than actually having that conversation that would make me feel emotional and overwhelmed and yeah, just basically in a freak out , in a freak out mode and end up having to walk away because you know, nothing would just

get resolved. So for me, these two are the key and the missing link to me to be able to overcome that disconnect feeling of disconnection and also overcome the fear of being able to confidently express and communicate myself with others. So that is a little bit about connection , um, that I wanna talk about today. And what I really just wanted to , um, just focus on is how important this connection is. And it is really something that we have to constantly work on.

And I know I keep saying this , I keep harping on about having to constantly work on, but if we are not constantly working on these issues and building this connection and exercising this muscle of being able to confidently communicate and express ourselves, then eventually what will happen is we will just end up regressing and going back into how we used to be.

Because if we are not working on ourselves and trying to improve ourselves, then the only process is to either stay the same where we are or to regress in back into who we were and and default back into those negative behavioral patterns of, of who we used to be. So for me, it's really a choice between going backwards or moving forwards. And I will always wanna choose moving forwards.

I will always wanna choose moving forwards, but sometimes we might forget, we might have a momentary lapse of, you know, forgetfulness and we have forgotten to have a body care routine, or we've forgotten to do our morning practice that helps us to regulate our emotions or, you know, we have just forgotten about the fact that we really want to be able to express ourselves or, or have a , a conversation and be able to speak honestly about how we feel with someone.

And time sort of lapses and, and then you, you know, nothing ever actually eventuates and we just forget about it completely. And it then it becomes really easy to just sit in that space of lu between where you are and where you wanna be. So it it's really just about having, having the sense of, or the urge of wanting to really focus on improving who you are.

And by doing that, the way that you can also support that is by having some sort of routine that allows you to really deeply connect into yourself, your body , um, helps you to regulate your emotions.

Um, and really just ask yourself if, if you are feeling like you don't want to be doing these things, ask yourself, are you willing to stay the same or regress back into a part of you or a version of you who you were, instead of being able to move forward, just ask yourself that question of whether you are comfortable in, in the , the outcome that is attached to the choice that you are making.

Because at the end of the day, it is you that always has the power to choose what you do and how you live and how you react and how you communicate with the world. And I don't want to regress back into my shell or be that scared little girl who was never able to speak up for herself. I really want to be able to own that part of me and it be my success story.

So for me, when I'm having that sort of moment of, Oh , I can't really be bothered meditating today or, you know, I , I don't really wanna do self care routine, then I need to be okay with, with that choice that I make and how it affects me because I know that when I go to do my practice the next day I'm gonna feel a little bit less like doing it even more. So just being aware of that , um, is something I wanna talk about. Something that I am personally in at the moment.

Um, cuz I've been, I've been sick , uh, with the flu and it's really taken a toll on me and some days I have felt like I didn't want to get outta bed and even though I didn't wanna get outta bed, it, I would have to really force myself to make a choice and, and meditate or um, do my journaling practice or whatever it is that I , um, usually do in the morning, which is both of those things.

So it doesn't matter if your regular routine perhaps becomes a little bit different in those days where you feel like you don't really wanna do anything, just just do something at the end of the day, just try and do something each day to be able to connect to yourself and your energy and just have that awareness perhaps that you are not, your energy is not a hundred percent, but by you just doing a little bit of work on yourself, it's gonna elevate you from where you currently are at instead of

allowing you to drop below where you're at, which is what will happen. So focus on building that connection and uh, focus on asking yourself the question when you are feeling like that , um, if you are okay to regress or if you really want to continue to build on that connection and that relationship and eventually overcome what it is that you are working on. Because everything takes consistency and time really.

So make the time, make the time for yourself and then you will be able to really be able to speak up more confidently because you are always, you are always connected to yourself and you are in a space where you are not regressing back into fear. So yeah, I don't know if any of that made sense, but that's just what needed to come out today and be delivered to you. So I hope some of it made sense and um, yeah, if it didn't let me know.

But , um, I will post this up and I may also do a little bit of follow up on this as a summary , um, because I felt like there was a lot there and , um, I'll just give you a few little pointers from actually a chapter in my recalibrate program, which is where I focus a lot of this , um, process of connection, really focusing on ways that you can connect with yourself and your energy and your emotions because out of anything that is the most important part of being able to be a confident

communicator. So yeah, I hope you enjoy lots of love and I'll talk to you soon.